Kill the Buddha.  If you come across the Buddha – kill the Buddha in thought form / the practitioner becomes three pounds of flax – manifest hands flax the hairstring seed rolling between the hands ] the wind is moving -- no the mind is moving – destroy the mind – minds can only be lost (lost heat death radiating from schwarzchild radius photon by photon blacking out until Let There Be Light! by uploadbiologicalconciousturing in 10100 C.E. denaturing geo-geographical ein dark era like a Lutheran – such brilliant nights fear into new miserable witching hour purples and stock characters western characters with no name and many sometimes lose names in pocket keys (got myself a pocketful of keys a wocket in my pocket) and I lose my name a brittle maker (a snoopy snow cone mechanical) drop jaws lost bears minxes moxie and I’m sure I tend to overdue – overdone – allthing frying an egg or writing in hyper operators and Graham’s number and I write Here are several of me (all at once) stock my counter own nemesis zygomatic arch (temporal process of zygomatic or zygomatic process of temporal depending on the direction which me or my nemesis is going) and it almost destroys (discombobulated question mark) me and phone calls a little hungrily – desper – e – ahte why IPA Arabic and not Cyrillic and cover this book (facing) letter locked (facing) into a recluse room emergency room with dull fuckedhead nursebeastmale a fuckedhead fattie and if I was grinding rails down a road, hit the stupid cartman bastard first splish-corpse-broken-spine-splint mayhaps my spine or a frizzled lumbar pillow sandwiched swiss torso distal (to) and laughed like a monarch.  Grandiose motherfucker not invincible to God, god pods, godlings, goddesses, barrness, kidney stones, VanHalen, parasols, do-gooders, shakers, quakers, rakers, takers, homemakers, toosie pops, lollipops, mentionable, breathing exercises, pissing cups, running sinks (marathon sinks) / ran the sink and gown stape gowns and partridge parchment patricide Augustinian E-ra ergo double time Augustinian and here in the gown – boxing chess gown – ambulance offsiren in a gown away from the dumbfuck nurse rationalizing independent ZF when there is no decision; only Christine god and Ben god, invulnerable to death but painful leeching pain].  Shirene.  I remember Shirene.  Come into the blood pressure / felt – a velvet – Shirene a (good) Nurse [unlike bastard bastard bastard] and she’s the kind I’d marry.  Alice without Alice said the rabbit and one side of the mushroom is Large; the other small but alice sees it perfectly round a round table salt and many (here)(again) much mushrooms and long hallway – room here – room for one more (our gargling faces; our cat hats) towards here and day room – as if Alice disappeared and Alice DID disappear in a complete trip off waiver a complete fuck off through the whirligig lumbar pin whole not whole stick a whole from a box reflection like mirror particles Alice Particles  IOTA à ATOI  / the day room – always American Idol it seems – American Idol seasons correlate madness but this time I’m just tired.  Gonna sleep I’m so tired etc John Lennon dreaming Alice and the Chesapeake Cat and Gregory asks me for a cigarette – I’m having a nicotine fit, he says.  I say no, and he moves away with his walker – he looks like Tommy Chong, I think.  Every time I meet Gregory in the hallway doubleclocked up down this east vector this west vector three miles per hour and I clearway do you have a cigarette?  I’m having a nicotine fit.  And I don’t mind his memory and I’m just keeping my PMA (paramethoxyamphetamine a Mitsubishi doublestack Christina says and I think Christina reasonable where here and frame [scarlet touched saffron – expensive Middle Kingdom red hemoglobin red and Swans – Killing the Buddha the Buddha – bodhisattva – is Christina who I try to kill and slay like a Muramasa bloodies all leaves and streams and Christinathoughtform (was) is a black iron prison a Nixon and I stare into a face of Buddha like crushed soft glass – our hands are like soft crashed glass, Christina sayed, sandy deceiving palms – enough.  This is enough.  This creature sleeps beyond the flow of time.  Now my day is done; ergo two flushed pints of blood / an escort whale.  Enough.  Time is coming.  Four vectors.  Long vocalizations like mermaid ghosts.  Doldrum’s shoddy cat games cat’s games singing hourglass floating downwards into sulfur hexafluoride dense water.  Tesla water dark in hotel rooms and beingbird’s deathray) It’s an expensive hotel room, dear – and neverly noxious – that woman’s son is Socrates.  She knows the Cyrillic languages.  Here why / [Thirty spokes share the wheel’s hub; the center is the useful – usefulness is what is not there and a I lost a bit – must empty my cup) hargard – it’s hard to remember, with all these lionesses – I’m tired of saying things but I’m so (lariately) connected and painting boxes after a box garrulous colours and empty to become empty is a chance – all these literary and intertextual like ten bums crossing oveer mainmakelink breedge but detached someone must wrench them (‘them’) from bones I suppose that’s how Buddha in the pretty how town in a flower mediated surrounded by the sun of madmen and taunted by demons – demons ungrateful children, slow Tractor Truck John promising Gregory a drive farm – straw dogs) seen all as straw dogs, watchment who watchling like a star child in distance – watch men solitude (duke Ellington) solitude underneath the froth of the prefallen tree – this creature sleeps beyond the flow of time.  In the old days, people had porch swings – a language – system of difference(s) / used to cry on porch swings in shoulders and sleep drowsy alltime.  Language – a system of differences – the difference is the undermine – the space between arbitrary and meaningful and the sound is always meaningful.  I desire to detach from my Mother Second (empty everything and watch the return of thousands being – to be – free of a language – between forgotten and remembered); to slay my Mother a Flower Marie – to slay the Buddha – Mother, this is enough says Marie and she becomes the Buddha and I must slay her and detote this unstaumbelical] This is half.  Halving the terra cotta of our sides, a side which is a thigh which is a muscle.  A worthy one well gone.  Gone into the apartment / Patient was informed of the hospital policy related to the use of restraint\seclusion [check] Patient has no pre-existing medical conditions are any physical disabilities that would place the patient at greater risk during restraint\seclusion [check]

02 ESPN			08 KMPH 26, Fox Network
03 CNN				09 KFSO 30, ABC			
04 Discovery			10 KJEO 47, CBS
05 KVPT Public TV		11 Catholic Religious
06 Spanish Channel		12 Kail 53, Independent
07 KSEE  24 NBC		13 TBN, Religious

Breakfast		8:00 AM
Lunch			12:00 PM
Afternoon Snack		3:30 PM
Dinner			5:00 PM
Evening Snack		8:30 PM

Five hours responsible.  No silence is silent – the spirits make noise – the noise awakens my nights when I can only meditate on the air conditioning and one blanket.  I play chess – chess thy only logic and I beat the nursing students.  Madness sees the opening – the Celestial Railroad -- and the threads are reused – for the purpose – a missionary’s hymn becomes a string quartet becomes a third moved fugue Symphony number Four beating march comedy and the comedy is a chess and go and each nursing student assigned a May – careful with that axe, Eugene – they read our case reports (grand becoming) – and play chess our parking lot chess – do you have a girlfriend? She asks – Oh sorry – That’s ok, she wasn’t my girlfriend / The last thylacine was named Benjamin ] large yawn / some sighted still / who watches the watchmen – like nurses – heart monitors (Christina’s Sharp Tooth in solitary confinement) – something happens.  The gulf happens.  The boyfriend happens.  The angry dog boxing happens.  Similar (some say identical) panels darkening – sunclipsing – dies the question and drafts – the draft glass riders watchtower exist some midsummer before whohere before (discontinuity) draft is (discontinuity) con happening map real say set all functions as sequences all living mine is sequences; memories – {Cn} – C1:  I was easter egg hunting in Tulare my grandparents house 3 years aging – C2:  swooping blackbird arrowing for a human head, a fountain of fatal birds – C3: playing cards with Christina and her grandfather – C4:  I wanted to be an engineer – C5: infinite toys and made-up games like “club” (cognitive categorization) or “war) (good and evil) – C6  I had a crush on you in 9th grade, Christina says – C7: nursery rhymes is a Christina writer and untangle her purple hair with a dirac comb her orange – blonde – black – red – sigh – C8:  purple-horned protoceratops, cross-eyed and smiling – C9:  half-awake, I always thought you looked beautiful, and I took the photographs – C10:  Maybe I’m just maleificent and killing you – C11:  I am crying all alone standing next to you – C12:  bunny and cat the swingset / I should be drinking a toast to absent friends instead of these comedians; comedic osteoclast cannibals – schizophrenic cannibals – videowatchers social anxiety medication – lost mite light – all we ever have of the stars are old photographs, black flecked white, ground red simile Lassa (Lassus) Cave Ritual Bison (Tyger Tyger burning bright in the forests of the night – when male discovered fire, the first use was sacrifice to the goddess the most precious thing that meat and burial and the glyphs broken in the ground like triangles separating demons stones stone saul soul sold a step hen to stone stars to a stone and the glyphs relink – the alphabet did not destroy the goddess but simplified the expressions and magnified the WORD – black iron burning iron – if world no(t) world gliss imprison, each a debt to goddess the hunting magic and the archery bent quick from the short bow strung by the jade thumb clip and the madness is alien [the alien is madness] / The Gnostic is a Gnostic because she knows who her true self is – That is the Romance (speaks Christine the Gnosis) – the generations linked to each other – the writing (interplay transformation – translation – rotation – identity) – works, (their) letters, criticisms, you find outings and trips [to old Bull Lee’s bayou] … People started shrinking into themselves and there have been good things but not magical things – the Great Gatsby is magical because the conversation (between) the novels (between statement and statement; word and word) – Daisy and Gatsby danced – Christina and Ben danced – Emily and Charlie Brown danced – these shirts, they’re so beautiful!  The intolerable shirt of flame which human (hands) cannot remove / secrets like literary friends platelets like literary friends) I want to create something like this (says Christine voice, Christine mayor) – I want a history – not just good writing (the archaeology knowledge; the book – I question endings – the end from page to page bed to bed) History discontinuous – died in an asylum – in Camarillo by a shock – Christina piecewise (ere) historical or me I am a piecewise- I don’t know the silence and I fear the silence – the cell is a very busy thing.  Morton Feldman’s String Quartet no. 2 – I would like to write being this composition – 124 pages, 3 systems a page, 9 measures each system – I died listening – repeatedly died to the repetition of cave formations / slowly retreating or marching to the lime water) He fucks a goat from behind while being flogged [Christina fucked from behind or she perhaps giving the fucking]; the goat conceives and gives birth to a monster (Christina, did you birth me).  Monster though he be, (s)he embuggers it (a series of differences, a parallel of differences) – Feldman’s symmetry (folding) said a birth a concave rest in a system (e systems of difference – language constructed – loftless – to be – the resulting emptiness – the space between sound – a summing space / not speaking emptiness or discourse emptiness but being (empty):


)  empty:


/			empty:



						) empty:  different vessels; same emptiness.  I was empty – the asylum was empty – the nurse’s station was empty – Christina was not empty – and her substance – that unobtanium substance – and I do not know the able of emptiness – if able to emptiness – to execute a goddess)  I would die to kill and I would kill to die – to violate angels – Why do you think we are here?  Calvin says.  We’re here to devour each other alive, says Hobbes / He transforms a boy of ten or twelve into a eunuch.  He uses an ingenious device to chop the girl into small pieces:  this is a Chinese torture.  Once I killed jazz.  Clubbed it to death with a harmon mute and femur.  A happy suicide.  I’ve never felt a sad suicide – God does not let me die.  It’s not natural to die, but to meet yourself coming and going.  I die daily.  It’s not natural to die.  I wanted to kill you in a loving hand – these hands which love writing the mythology, the hieroglyphs, the messenger – World is Myth – and that silent – kill  die // die / kill    / die  in the grasps of black hair   garrulous piccolo mouth and lick – ah messy – turned a screw – fuck pistons – brick a Christ – brick a Christ – brick a Christ – brick a Christ – 
whip a Christ – whip a Christ – whip a Christ – whip a Christ – 
holy goddess – holy goddess – holy goddess – holy goddess – 
she scorned you – she scorned you – she scorned you – she scorned you –  fucked pistons and burned hell.  Killed a man.  Killed the heterosexual.  Murdered the Kitty.  Omega.  I would kill you.  Sacrifice you to yourself.  Die for a die.  Tooth for a tooth.  Kiss for a kiss.  I kissed your corpse and made love to its absence.  I cry at no sound.  I cry at the broken bread of communion.  I cry for great goddess the wife of Christ – Sophia the Christ of Wife.  Nadja Le stranger.  Three days.  Christ was in the tomb for three days.  The saw is family.  A stranger in a strange land.  Lavender)(the boats / naked and lavished with honey, may the flies and maggots come and breed you – reborn your body into larvae, the rice of flies.  White raining ivory like rice, homemade birch.  The empire never ended the empire never ended (the empire never ended / Fuck the empire.  Fuck the alien race.  I was her birthday.,  Lingua se – let him speak as oracles of God – let her be an oracle – a chimera (Lapland mires sacred mice --