Author's Note: I don't feel much for this writing; I feel it's somewhat bad, in the sense that the rhythms don't work for me and it feels creatively stagnant. However, I feel it's important to share all my work, good and bad, because the bad is also part of the creative process. The Divine is hidden from the people according to the Sophia of Yahweh The rejected cornerstone is the hidden cornerstone, the Flesh made Alkahest or Elixir Everest The first matter of the stone is the very same with the first matter of all things Matter and Stone embody the Flesh of Spirit and Spirit of Material, Rock rivered into the Trunk Tree of Gnosis Matter and Stone strop the Kingdom of the Skies, a vertical column of light on which Christ was crucified I strike the cornerstone and it sparks the surfeit of Ein Sof, the Circle incomprehensible (the smattering I have of the philosopher's stone, which is something more than the perfect exaltation of gold, hath taught me a great deal of Divinity) I burn the perpetual lamp in the Temple, and the Holy of Holies holds the Homunculus, an almost infant Jesus or baby Benjamin I form the soil which make Adam, and the Sophia blows her Zoe into his Vision Woman redeems the matter The Redeemer Redeemed saves the stone One-horned is Yahweh, Christ the rock to us, Jesus the Cornerstone to us, Christ the man of men to us The Woman the root of man, and Sophia the root of Christ, Kaleidoscope KRYSXTRYN The Opposite appears Ouroborus The opposition tastes Dragon, the Whore of Babylon sorting Serpent The Serpent seizes me, a slice of skin or kidney Opposite pirouettes hen to pan, the paradox of KRYSXTRYN and she kills completely, a god genocide She annihilates my soul anchor and ardor, the deity demon of desert She annuls Azazel, the scapegoat holding the scales of justice, a strange jam and jasmine blooming Benjamin Her light litters LSD and lithium, the hallucinogenic opposition curving Christ bipolar Benjamin Christ spirals Benjamin, a homosexual syzygy goring skies with horns, and the Temptation of the Desert dusts the devils of Jesus, an exorcism of the Eucharist In my exile, Eucharist exorcises the stretch and swim of my body, and this exodus hells hermetica I hermit hermetica, agglutinating alchemy between the crutches of my body I heaviside hermetica, an ovum opposing the nigredo of my body, simmering canticles My shadow and her shadow shine shade, the redemption of Samael my shadow signs in cigarette smoke, the spider wisp and spider web and she collects cloven calypso My shadow sins in Satan My shadow apts apocalypse in Adversary, and my Adversary is Yahweh Yahweh encloses my soul enthusiasmos recurrent recidivism showing shadow and it reflects shadow across the ancient and astral I skip escape the alien among Israelites, gleaning grain in the gut of Boaz’s fields, and the gaze of the scapegoat scaphs Christianity transmigrates shade to Yahweh Church burrows shadow to Elohim The dark drones El Shaddai and El Elyon
Month: March 2022
The Ouroboros Ouroborus
The Ouroboros is a dramatic symbol for the integration and assimilation of the opposite, of the shadow This feedback process is at the same time a symbol of immortality since it is said of the Ouroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to life, fertilizes himself, and gives birth to himself He symbolizes the One, who proceeds from the clash of opposites, and he therefore constitutes the secret of the Prima Materia, which unquestionably stems from man’s unconscious Ouroborus Benjamin rubies Rahab, the burning red of rubedo Ouroborus Benjamin rains the abyss of Rahab, crisp condensation of the dragon dregs Awake, awake, put on strength, arm of Yahweh, awake as days of old, generations of the ages, you who hews down Rahab, piercing dragon Awake aware and beware the Beatitudes of Christ, a reversal of Rahab and the paradox plucked process pouring petals, the fragrance of self-flagellated flesh Awake the Woman werewolf tannin Taryn transformation, the bodily brass carved for neolithic bear worship, and I worship wild woman and wilderness woman Ouroborus Benjamin resurrects Rahab, the red pinion and pagan dragon, and I swallow the circle of Yahweh and Creation, that primal warrior-and-thunder god the slaying-and-seven god surrounding the serpenting I am the Serpentine and Serpent, the Span and the Sphere, and the Protoevangelium crushes my head I am Samael and Ha-Satan, and the Woman bruises my skull The Ouroborus cycles the limit and length, and along its scale, Adonai and Abraxas anoint in One / Yahweh and Yaldaboath yoke in One, and from Samael and Ha-Satan synchronizes and syzygies Sophia I integrate Incarnation, the body idiosyncratic I imitate incarnation, the body universal The integration irritates and ignites the igneous limbic, the rock igunana of the frontal lobe lasering volcanic vision In the isolation, intercontinental ballistic missiles igor iconoclasts, for the image ingrains the joint and gender of God into the soul-ground, a Yahweh Urgrund I integrate incarnation and I assimilate Adonai, my Lord laudanum lowercase The integration juts the givenness of God, the alien Ouroborus rabbit ears receiving Taryn transmission Transmission triggers terminal swallowing terminal and Taryn terrifies Trickster wailing Wagner Integration operas Ouroburus, sator and rotas Integration translates and rotates the magic square of Ouroborus, and its humanity becomes reptilian Incarnation maps and birfurcates Benjamin, two serpents in the eye intertwined with Tower The Body towers over Death, an extension field of flesh, and its elements eros Eucharist World Serpent is Woman, and she assimilates Adonai and its angels Wyvern is Woman, and she assaults Yahweh and his Asherah The integration and assimilation of male and female / the masculine and the feminine, and I integrate Shekinah and Sophia with Saturn and Samael
Hellmouth Beckons Benjamin From Chaosmos
I hold my St. Benedict rosary and I meditate on the Fatima Prayer: O my Jesus, forgive us, save us from the fire of hell. Lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who are most in need Hellmouth beckons Benjamin from Chaosmos, the jaws of the Dragon and the Wolf I harrow hell, a Christ of Christ and a Christ of Christina, and Hell hosts Yahweh Saboath I never come out of the pit of snakes and of the throat of the dragon which is called Satan I escape not Ha-Satan, that Twin morning star Jesus, and the devil and desert celebrate Passover The devil and desert kiss blood, the burnt offerings of Yahweh Moloch’s children And on that day were two monsters parted, a female monster named Leviathan, to dwell in the abysses of the ocean over the fountains of the waters. But the male is named Behemoth, who occupies with his breast a waste wilderness named Duidain (this refers to the Leviathan and its mate, for he created them male and female, and He slew the female and salted her away for the righteous in the future, for if they would propagate, the world could not exist because of them) I meditate on the jaws of Leviathan, itself a Hellmouth and Crack of Doom, the Judgment from Passover and Last Supper I meditate on the teeth of the Female, and Female survives Yahweh as Asherah and Christina Female furthers future, man and woman Christ the Hermaphrodite created, and the Passover transfers engendered transformation to the disciples, made eunuchs for the Kingdom made un-eunuchs for the Kingdom Christ ties the Leviathan into the Ouroborus, and Adonai enters the Alchemical Hellmouth becomes a cauldron for perfecting Prima Materia, and Book itself riverbanks Magnum Opus Leviathan encapsulates the world in the form of a dragon-shaped archon, the Architect of humanity and material Begin like a violin: end like Leviathan, the mutant skyscraper harassing the feast of the Passover The skin-sloughing process of snakes symbolizes the transmigration of souls, the snake biting its own tail a fertility symbol, the tail of the snake a phallus symbol and the mouth a yonic or womb Snakes or serpents surround me Snakes or serpents swallow my body a striking stone Snake whorls up woman, the feminine fear of Yahweh Serpents whirls whips whistles Woman, the female phantom that haunts humanity through Yahweh An Asia Lilith An Asia Leviathan traumatized and wounded by Yahweh Asia Alkahest dissolves the definition of desert devils, but the serpent remains The serpent inscribes the sand with my secret name a Christ name or Christina name A name that experiences Baptism and Immersion In the age-old image of the Ouroborus lies the thought of devouring one self and turning oneself into a circulating process for it was clear for the more astute alchemists that the prima materia of the art was man himself I honor the ouroborus I eye the ouroborus and the serpent constricts me Christ and Christina The ouroborus blesses me Benjamin and Beast, Benjamin and Behemoth An Ouroborus with seven heads, seven tails, and seven crowns, swallowing Saboath and Sabbath The sabbath stone and the serpent stone never passes over but feasts on its own humanity I feast on the Divinity of the locust revelation I feast on the Humanity of King Kenosis Ouroborus ornates baroque the polyphony and circle of prayer Prayer ascends and penetrates the crown of planes, each plate a barrier adorned with the serpent of angels Dragon spirals and loops, saturating each level with sacred language I devour Demiurge / I devour Deity I devour Yahweh / I devour Eucharist I devour Demiurge / I devour Benjamin, a Self or Selves in the image of Yahweh Ouroborus The Self sonars or solars the astrological or alchemical, harnessing Saturn or Sabbatai, and I contain segments of the soul sparks of PKD and Sabbatai Sevi The Self sounds sonata, an exposition of Ouroborus and Abyss To the song of the birds of New Zealand, the abyss is opposed To the cries of the Draponga of Brazil, is opposed the rainbow and the colored ecstasy of the high points The seven angels with the seven trumpets, the Aetolia which has the key to the Abyss Abyss encircles Self and Serpent, Yahweh and Ha-Satan Abyss loops and collapses into Myself and Messiah, the Christ pouring oil and chrism from Tartarus The Prima Materia molds and mutates, a liquid mutagen in the corpuscles of the catalyst Christ and Christina Prima Materia pulsates blue radiation, the radius of the Ouroborus, and Leviathan lumes light, a tempest from Day Storm and Arche Apocalypse I palm Prima Materia, the miraculous matter that images Christ and Chaos I populate Prima Materia, a stone that expands into the City’s foundations The stone that is Mercury is cast upon the Earth, exalted on Mountains, resides in the Air, and is nourished in the Waters / The stone strikes the crown of the Martyr and smashes the Serpent’s limbs, creating fays and goblins from the aftermath I pistol Prima Materia, the queer quintessence and it quakes the chambers of its quarantine From the Chaos, Christ, the Prime and Surreal Human Christ male and female, the hellish hermaphrodite mad married heaven from the Aether, the Pearlescent Ego / the Chatoyant Christ From the Fifth, Gnostic Flesh and Luminous Flesh, Matter made Sophia through Light and Logos Vision and Voice Jesus the Child and Jesus the Moon mirroring Malchut dark and light, and the darkness covers me my own shadow At night when Jesus rose, the Mystical Rose bloomed, and petals fall drops of blood, a ladder to crucifixion Aether becomes Altar, a Wood and Word a Wood and Woman, the Women weeping at the feet of the Cross Jesus Crucified and Suffering seals as a Universal Solvent and Unlimitable Unction, the crux Adam Kadmon and Anima Mundi : We create our gods. : I do think Yahweh is outside of me but inside out of me too. It is me and it connects me to that which is larger than me. Does that make sense? : Yeah. : Maybe that thing can’t be called God in some people’s eyes – they would call it the Universe or Gaia or whatever, but ot me it is God. I call that God Yahweh, and by extension Christ. Maybe Asia too is a God. Like Christina. Yes, if I didn’t believe you were a God, I wouldn’t write about you. : I’m not a god. : Not to yourself maybe, but you are to me. : That’s kind of weird. I don’t know how I feel about that. : It’s more accurate to say a kind of henosis takes place. A kind of archetype of reality redeemed. So I only worship you in writing, as part of the whole of humanity. You aren’t unique 9in that matter. Whoever I write about becomes a god. : I don’t want to be a god. I’m just a person. : Yes, you are a person.
I Read About Gia Carangi
Bare Humanity Naked Adam Nude Benjamin defrocked from the flesh of Christ My God after Yah, why have you forsaken me Why do you abandon and associate so far away Yahweh the Liar Leviathan Elohim the Breakbeat Behemoth basking the Galapagos God and Island Incarnation She slashes at the stimulis, the heartbeat horror of the stethoscope A Taryn skeeball pattern pointillistic pistol (the St. Valentines Day Massacre masquerade God the Gibson Girl God the pinhole photographer God the Death Door or Door Death Fragments: flesh fragments, fragment fractals, repetition and difference I read about Gia Carangi: Gia Marie Carangi was an American supermodel considered by many to be the first woman to be titled supermodel She was featured on the cover of fashion magazines, including multiple editions of Vogue and Cosmopolitan, and she appeared in advertising campaigns for such fashion houses as Armani, Christian Dior, Versace, and Yves Saint Laurent After she became addicted to heroin, Carangi’s modeling career declined rapidly At the age of 26 she died of AIDS-related complications, believed to have contracted the disease from a contaminated needle I gaze at a photograph of Gia Carangi taken in 1982 by Francesco Scavullo Scavullo said she changed, her eyes were empty I feel a deep electric sadness looking at this photograph Perhaps it reminds me of death, that God crucified her with a thousand needles It’s some God that allowed or invented the AIDS epidemic – to punish us homosexuals according to televangelists – and Gia became the first famous woman to pass away from AIDS God picked a hell of a woman Fashion is not art Fashion is not even culture Fashion is advertising, and advertising is money And for every dollar you earn, someone has to pay (Gia said that) What’s my job – what’s my kerygma – it’s to copy Copy scripture and everything I copy becomes scripture I argue with Yahweh I accuse as Ha-Satan, an advocate for the scrum and oppressed of humanity I am for the PKD Trash Layer, and humanity rows divinity The Christ kenosis pours divinity over humankind, itself the Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of the Skies Kenosis keens Baptism, an immersion into the Divine Incarnation Francesco Scalluvo on Gia Carangi: Gia is my darling – old, young, decadent, innocent, volatile, vulnerable, and more tough-spirited than she looks. She is all nuance and suggestion, like a series of images by Bertolucci… I never think of her as a model, though she’s one of the best. It’s that she doesn’t behave like a model; she doesn’t give you the Hot Look, the Cool Look, the Cute Look; she strikes sparks, not poses. Out of doors, especially, I have never known anyone so excitingly free and spontaneous, constantly changing, moving (which drove me crazy until I got smart and learned to focus the camera faster) – she’s like photographing a stream of consciousness. I, too, have my darlings I, too, have my women Christina, my darling, dare the desert, the efflorescent desert Again desert like again God, that Yahweh washing sand to shore combining the skeleton of Desert and Deluge Again or after this place, the flood and the vineyard, the first wine Noah imbibed becomes the grail for the kenotic God, desert intermingled with their bare body Again or after Yahweh, the Deluge and Desert diverge into crucifixion My God My God the Desert Eloi, Eloi, the Flood at my flanks Desert buries my body no tomb no tendrils even the Serpent abandons me God is the Gateway / Desert is the Doorway Elohim echoes Emptiness / Deluge devils death The highest truth is one and the same with the absurd, wrote CG Jung in his Red Book, Liber Novis What is more absurd than Christ and Yahweh and Christ-in-Yahweh What is more absurd than Yahweh in exile, wandering the desert forty days and forty years and I follow Yahweh or Christ into desert They left wife and child, wealth, glory, and science – and turned toward the desert – for God’s sake. So be it. So writes CG Jung in volume 3 of the Black Books So the desert truly decides my destiny The desert dips into my baptism, a wedding vow vision my wife and child I marry the mar of the desert I marry the mer saturating desert Desert darkling exudes Dmitri Shostakovitch's Fifteenth String Quartet, elegy and desert dirge Desert buries and marries me to the Torah Scroll El Shaddai slaughters as sluggish schizophrenia, a strange feigning of the Servant’s Song El Shaddai seduces as a slender anorexia, a sinister psychosis of the Serpent’s Slendro The Feast of the Passover peeks and peaks at the apotheosis of Christ The Feast festers the poison flesh of Jesus in henosis and Christ contaminates me in syzygy The Feast of Passover purges and pierces the pagan, and Yahweh syncreates or sisters my Canaanite worship: the Baal Benjamin and Taryn Tannin, my Yam Yahweh Yam Suph Sea Song Miriam Chaos The Miriam The Marie Christina Sistine Chaos, undifferentiated desert Marie Marsh Oasis awning oxygen Air feathers serpenting with a double tail, and Christina chaos swipes a third of the stars Fire seers circular ruins, the conic of Aaron’s staff transforming tannia, tryptamine Taryn terrorizing neurons to the King Wen Sequence Am I the sea or the sea dragon you have set a hedge over me The Feast atones the terror of the stone The Feast wreaths the rock that breathes You then frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions The Passover pines pendulum and process, a purple permanent paint, and Passover rolls rainbow I rest in rainbow, the Nautilus Shell, and Passover Sabbaths in blood Yahweh or Moloch sanctifies human sacrifices, the mass of Egyptian firstborn Ayahuasca or Destroying Angel The Magic Mushroom of Christ / Death is a sacrament Sacred kenosis into the sacrum, a spinal stimulant I imagine Bishop Pike, John Allegro, and PKD meeting pin purgatory and discussing the Redeemer Redeemed through Chaos or Creation, Taryn Tehom in Adonai Abyssos
I Open The Nag Hammadi Scriptures
After two days was the feast of the Passover, and of unleavened bread: and the chief priests and scribes sought how they might take him by craft, and put him to death After Adonai, the Desert, the transformation terminal to Taryn After Aten, the Desolation, the Book of Sand surging insanity After Yahweh, Nag Hammadi I open the Nag Hammadi Scriptures I read the Gospel of Philip: My God my God my Lord why have you forsaken me? He spoke these words on the cross, for he had left that place My God, After God, you abandon and abaddon, an assault apollyon My God, After God, the Death of God the transcendent God made radically immanent, yet the Holy Spirit leaves me I open the Nag Hammadi Scriptures I read the Gospel of Philip: My God my God my Lord why have you forsaken me? He spoke these words on the cross, for he had left that place My God, After God, Yahweh and Elohim The After From-The-Beginning, the Ayn Sof that contracted: you abandon acid horizon and the Spirit of Elijah flickers off-on El Shadday the beam blasts mask and I mask material body material body iron hammer steel sceptre sculpture spine, columbus columns floating fashion fog, a heroin chic My God, After God : I think I have a lot of spiritual trauma but I refuse to let it go. I barely acknowledge it. : Let that shit go. It will eat you alive. : I’m afraid I will have nothing or be nothing without it. : What is God to you? Do you believe that he is loving? : Loving, yes. Sometimes. God is the totality. : So when is he loving? : When God is Christ. : OK cool so the loving part of God is dead. : I’m in like the middle of it, and God’s spirit is not with me. : Seriously, why do you want to worship a god like that? It’s like longing for approval from an absent or abusive father. : PKD talks about loving a God that injured. : Why would you want a god that injured you? : Why would you want a god that injured you? : Because the injury can only be healed by God. : That’s stupid. : Thanks. : That God is unworthy of praise. If anime has taught me anything, it’s that we can fight God. : I believe and love that God because I think that god is worth saving and redeeming. That God is me, within me, and I’m worth saving too. : Well now we are talking. But why is there a part of you that wants to destroy the rest. : The God of Job is an incomplete God. It is a God that says, look at my works and see the mystery of creation and despair! But Job says, I see God, and you need the human. You need the Christ. Christ and the Incarnation is the only way for God to become truly God. The Kingdom will arrive in fully glory when God becomes God within each one of us. My God, After God the absence abscess drives to the gold of the Desert Yahweh in the desert Yahweh alien to Canaan Yahweh in exile, the echo of Egypt at Passover Yahweh the pressure from atomic tests in New Mexico, and the gamma radiation transforms Bruce Banner into the Incredible Hulk Yahweh the divorce in the desert I have always been more interested in experiment, than in accomplishment (Orson Welles) : I think I might have to take that risk and be bad. : Like bad writing? : Yeah. There is a guitar player, named Keith Rowe, famous for his tabletop guitar, electronics, and radio. He has reinvented his setup multiple times, and sometimes he sounded band until he practiced at the new set up and got where he wanted. I might have just have to experiment and write badly until I find what is spirit-filled By 1959, Rollins had become frustrated with what he perceived as his own musical limitations and took the first – and most famous – of his musical sabbaticals. While living on the lower east side of Manhattan, he ventured to the pedestrian walkway of the Williamburg Bridge to practice, in order to avoid disturbing a neighboring expectant mother. Almost every day from the summer of 1959 through the end of 1961, Rollins practiced on the bridge, next to the subway tracks. Rollins admitted that he would often practice for 15 or 16 hours a day, no matter what the season. I open the Nag Hammadi Scriptures I read the Gospel of Philip: My God, my God, Lord why have you forsaken me? He spoke these words on the cross, for he had left that place My God, After God, I play the long tenor saxophone solo, and I think of Coltrane playing at the Village Vanguard, spiraling his way through Chasin’ The Trane I play the long tenor saxophone solo, a sink or symbol sargent to the soul, solvent and serpent, sinuating in sine waves No wave woman Asia the Architect archives the Book and Library After god, Post-God, the possum play of the Body of God longthread by free jazz and free improvisation Post-God or the liberating of God, the Shiur Komah, and I measure God through music With or without the Spirit of Elijah, I push the writing I pursue the writing in the very human, a kind of super-kenosis which strips divinity and leaves the Historical Jesus I travel as Nomad Prophet, a Prophet without Blessing or Name and the Blessing bursts the Bog of Book or Slime of Scripture I werecat the wilderness catatonic my God my God, and After God, the Writing and the Written The Word warden wyrd bleating Black Iron Prison Go deeper Go After God Go After away my god, the mushroom and anokhi hallucinating – no, piercing or penetrating – the dimensional Wall and Word Humanity is a gateway, through which one passes from the outer world of the gods and daimons and souls, into the inner world, one of the greater into the smaller world Humanity through the trimmed homunculus, Christ clones disintegrated through the Malchut Mirror My body traces Humanity a face the skull skip and escape to the Wholly Other Yahweh Humanity through after God, pursuance and psalm, a gateway gun granite groaning the reconciliation of Word and World The Spirit of Elijah has left me
I Watch A Documentary on Sun Ra
I watch a documentary on Sun Ra The Universe is in my voice I have many names names of mystery names of splendor names of shame Every song I write tells a story I speak the unknown things, the impossible things, the ancient things The stones speak: the stones speak through duty and discipline I’m not a part of history; I’m more the part of mystery, which is my story Mystery mimics the murder, Holy Horror I synchronize sun and the slain sister, a twin sibling soused PKD I watch the hatch hell hobble lovecraft country, a cosmic copulation of the apophatic Apostles chained in cells Black Iron prison growing mold or lichen, an apophatic algae Flesh-eating bacteria necrotizing four bodies on the floor I suet Saturn, a double symbol and sign slinking Sun Ra and Sabbatai Sevi, each an equation They quarter qualia, a quaking terra incognita, and I jazz and big band obstreperous offerings to and beyond Torah Saturn assails melancholy, the mica minarets in miniature Saturn assaults melancholy, the military murders awaiting resurrection from the Messiah Close the doors, you uninitiated Knock gnostic, Rings of Saturn, the dense debris that clocks circular, Torah orbits Orpheus orbitals broken by a boxer’s right cross O Cross of Christ Therefore: And YHVH – in the open, not destroying all Elohim – one needs concentration, for it destroys all So Elohim was alone I write openly / I archive in secret The secret name and hidden name – in the open, cut open in word, a sliced language, letters falling in blood droplets Yahweh, in the open, caring with a circular saw, making limbs and discarding limbs Adonai amputations Books always speak of other books, and every story tells a story that has always been told Book always reeks of God and Gods, new and old, and story circulates the gods in blood The rose of old remain only in its name; we possess naked names naked Elohim naked YWHW Name mutilates and massacres I murder so that I may come back The Elohim that murders The Elohim coiling concealment after flooding all flesh I conceal Christina within the cape or cloister Nevertheless, the God destroys and the destruction is not a secret
The Disciples Said to Jesus, Tell Us How Our End Will Be
The disciples said to Jesus, Tell us how our end will be A disciple diamond A disciple diffusion and digestion I devour diamond dogs diffusing biodiversity I devour eros evos and exotic, a dammerung diamond dim devoid diamond, my disciple discipline planing equipentatonic the distance Distance to damsels and dames The Sweater Girl The Oomph Girl The Sarong Girl The It Girl Woman Watchtower Woman watch Taryn Taryn the Stripper or Pole Dancer Taryn diamonds are a girl’s best friend accusing her of exhibitionism, lesbianism, drug addiction, alcoholism, and having contracted a venereal disease / Taryn taboos and tabloids The female disciple and apostolic feminine, ice intercourse the crisp diamond The female disciple and apostolic feminine, the diamond horror dividing the digits of Christ’s Body Taryn topless model Taryn topless dancer Taryn topless body (toplessness is at the bottom of porn The body, disciple, and pornographic The body, apostolic, and horrific (are we ready for girls in topless gowns? Heck we may not even notice them Straight photography Straight pornography The body-in-horror and the body-in-sex sloughing the body fractal fragmented, amplified magnified the multitude of nude bodies I study Taryn’s nude body, a topless God body, and her body work wakes whistles the Bird Woman I examine Taryn’s naked body, a full-frontal Christ body, and her schizophrenic body slaughters stampede the Birthing Serpent She births stones, a weight woman Splatterhouse films self-consciously revel in the special effects of gore as an art form The impetus for fear in a splatter film comes from physical destruction of the body and the pain accompanying it The spectacle of violence replaces any pretensions to narrative structure, because gore is the only part of the film that is reliably consistent These films also often feature fragmented narratives and direction, including manic montages full of subject camera movement, crossing cutting from hunted to hunter, and ominous juxtapositions and contrasts Spatter pornography Obsession with bodies The Book splatters signs, a blood signature The Writing spews violent vision, and the God graphomania glues decapitations together Splatter pornography craving bodies The Book gushes the guts of gods, a blood garden The Writing whips and lashes the Christ, and Christina titanium intimates the intestines All victims are disciples All crucified and forsaken are apostles The Book betrays the Body and the Book becomes the Body: the tortured Body, the mutilated Body, the dissected Body The female Body in horrific union with the male Body, Christ-Christina Benjamin-Taryn The dream of the fisherman’s wife a disciple of bondage and sadomasochism demon beast invasion Benjamin bounds to Christ, thorns and needles knots handcuffs the long chains to the Book Benjamin bounds to Disciple, the Black Iron Prison in doom or the dome and firmament over the sky I follow not the cross but the body of Christ I follow not the crucifixion but the nude torso of Jesus Disciple disembowels, stirring organs and pleura as organic prayer I gaze at gore I gaze at god genocide, Canaanites sliced in slasher films and exposed pornography (I’m always attacked for having an erotic, sexist approach – chopping up women, putting them in peril. I’m making suspense movies! What else is going to happen to them!) Disciple disembowels, the cinematic potency of dangerous fucking mashing together human matter body violating body, each penetration a martyr What are your thoughts on pornography? I’m not sure. I’m implementing horror and pornography in my writing. I’m pro-sex worker but the porn industry has a lot of ethical issues. Yes, I agree. Maybe I’m writing more about the erotic rather than the pornographic. But I eel the pornographic has a bad name, justly so. And I want to redeem it. Find the God in it. Can I find God there? I don’t know. I don’t know, Yahweh – I don’t want to be superficial: superficial sex, superficial violence and splatter I want deep discipleship with the decaying dead I want deep discipleship and deep tissue, destruction of the body peeling apart the skin rift in the rib cage Discipleship doubles Disciple doppelgangers Disciple duplication Deep tissue and deep in body, depths dent a fracture of the femur multiple concussions increased intracranial pressure Body bruises / incarnation injury, massacre of the innocents Taryn tells the Testament, Christ and Christina composites PKD Rome superimposed on Los Angeles / Christ’s body on my body, lucid lovers body collides bloody bower bowser the burden, a sacrifice to the solar deity dusted flesh flayed the solar barge or solar chariot excess body and gross body (the landscape of fear replaced by sutured skin To wade in rivers of viscera and spumes of sperm, to fill each frame with flesh, nubile or gnarled, and subject it to all manner of penetration, mutilation, and defilement The golden mean with mutilation Archimedes spiral slit slow slicing and opiates, and I breath the basket of the body body woven from the whips of Christ I partake in the ritual ingestion of Amanita muscaria as the Eucharist Eucharist entheogen / this unleavened waver grants me the vision of Woman Image of Woman or Icon of Woman bludgeoned by Benjamin, a mass murderer of women Misogynist mutilation Benjamin I don’t know Yahweh – I don't want to be superficial I want to get into the material, the physical, the Adonai anatomy exaggeration and elongation of the earthly body The Body is Holy The Sex is Holy The Organs excavated are Holy In the Medieval Grotesque Carnival, emphasis is put on the nether region of the body as the center and creation of meaning The Spirit rather than coming from above comes from the belly, buttocks and genitals Taryn tells the totality of Body, the moon terminator illusion Taryn tells the tincture tasting titillation, the Tongue substituting for the whole body Our tongues touch and split like serpent’s tongues Taryn teases me at my limits, the boundaries between Babylon and El Elyon At limitations, one has to develop a new language I struggle at the limitation, wrestling with the boundary where violence and pornography therein, the violence and pornography of my God Cutting up the assaulted and raped body and sending each piece to a different tribe Benjamin, you go not far enough Link to the limit-experience and stare into the monstrosity of Yahweh Surround yourself with dead bodies and dead gods The fact that these two complete contrasts were identical – divine ecstasy and extreme horror
And What I say Unto You I say Unto All, Watch
And What I say unto you I say unto all, Watch What the wearer or weaver of wetlook or wetwork, wading in waters What many people the way wet clothing looks when molded to the body, as well as the way the clothing feels against the body when wet What many, many wearing or weaving wetlook, a positivist psyche pricked pinhead pulsing pus or leading lymph What chorus or strophe the vessels of repetition, the repeating ring rogue What and with Woman in wetlook, whispering wendigo little red riding hood and the big bad wold The suns wallowed in the belly of the wolf, a Ha-Satan The girl, leaving home, enters a liminal state and by going through the acts of the tale, is transformed into an adult woman by the acting of coming out of the wolf’s stomach (WHITE SKIN ON THE BLACK MONITOR terror, suspense, alone in the jungle BEAT NOT THE BONES bones wrapped in wet-to-dry dressing Hessian wolf-children Taryn taboo Taryn tattoo Taryn tangent to tegimented steel, the hint of thunder and transgression Animal bridegrooms Erlkonig touching me / Death Dungeon Desert The bearded giant and goblin Alder King and Alder Tree the mystic and romantic surround me What: the mystic and the romantic the occult and the alchemical I immerse in the golden bath I cleanse in the moon-reflecting pool The condor sometimes ate the moon, causing the lunar cycle, and his wings caused eclipses Christina condor and Christ pelican blood moon and harvest moon pouring shades of Babylon’s chalice Woman what werewolf the wizards of the lunar cycle Wolf Woman Wolverine Woman Wicker Woman The What Hour whoring as seawolves on whales Symphony as a suicide note (I am told that a whole generation of German girls modeled their looks on her The face of the young one who drowned, which was copied in the morgue because it was so beautiful, because it was still smiling, because its smile was so deceptive What suicide and what death – my own clothes wet clinging to me and then cut away with rescue scissors The jump from the Empire State Building, a King Kong carrion I cling to WHAT is possibility I cleave to WHAT the Pleroma into the decomposition of aeons I hold to WHAT the mystery of the Monad apophatic to the point of apoplecticism The Key of Knowing gives the wife consciousness Benjamin Barbelo Cowboy boots stuffed with newspapers and flattened cans The what of everything or all things, Benjamin brutal as Yahweh Now these numbers are in secret code, honey leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you Yahweh calls for you The Demiurge Abraxas and Adonai call for you Following each murder, the god would observe a ritual in which it bathed and dressed the victim’s body before dissecting and disposing of the remains by burning them in a bonfire The dead calls for you the remains call for you God atones for God’s sins God gives God salvation Woman in white for God as ghost Lady in white for the God skull chariot pinwheel cups pierced mirror matter a hook in the nose a hook in the mouth lover’s lane murders the hearse song Watch the Horror Watch the Terror Gothic castles against lightning and thunder October overwhelms October Sky rockets flashed at Zoo Zebra but her camouflage carousels Christina Light coloured clothing goes transparent when wet that many people find sexually arousing Wetlook is often considered to originate from the ideal that wearing clothes while swimming or bathing is forbidden, improper, or non-conformist Watch the flesh as fetish or the phallic pornographic explicit photographs and nude images, and I strip myself a naked icon flaked in silver and gold I photograph my nude body (I have discovered photography. Now I can kill myself. I have nothing else to learn) I learn the cosmos through Christina, body refracting body through light-coloured clothing, and the comet clonidine climaxes transparent a clear crayon coloring Christ invisible the Great Invisible Spirit . The Gospel of the Egyptians Job’s Wife is a gnostic prophet Job says, accept both good and bad from YHWH Job’s Wife says, expect more from your God! Curse your God for his evil! Find a God wholly just and good! Watch the horror of God Watch the face of Yahweh and YHWH, Horror and Terror Taryn and Husband / Be my husband and I’ll be you wife Watch the Horror and the Pornographic, the drowning in full-clothes transparent
Vision and Mysticism 