I haven’t written anything in two or three days, and I feel lost and silly     The word escapes me and the music ceases     Midway through life’s journey I became aware that I had strayed into a dark forest, and the right path appeared not anywhere    Inferno infused dark forest dark night of the soul, the sentence and word straightened stretch to Hell     Hell helios scaphs horror, the hunched lighthouse in the distance / the hunched human being     The raucous clamoring of the ensemble could be interpreted as the anguished cries of souls in hell, or as the rushing wings of approaching angels, or as the angry cries of people on earth witnessing the way the world stood in 1965 (in 2022)     I enter exit the ensemble and the ensemble eras or evas Earth, and my ensemble thrusts a female flame     Female flame flashes ball lightning Ascension and I improvise sound mass catholic mass the ecstasy in Eucharist     Each soloist is working within the rhythmic and modal constraints of the theme, but each is looking for a way to push those limits     Not only are the limits of the structure at risk, but each player is also looking for ways to stretch the sound of his instrument, with false fingerings, overtones, and extreme registers being the modus operandi (I improvise solo tenor saxophone and I drone multiphonics and quarter-tone fingerings     I trill alternate fingerings and gut glossolalia ghost timbres)

The structureless structures saws sea and sea sums submarine matter and material, and the underground sits shamanic     The structureless structure shamans sea sky sun and I swan with my spirit spouse     No structures but Garden and Garden rosettes rhizome, the tangle or tango of infinite tendrils / trill truss Taryn     No structures but the Garden and the Woman Spirit came at him and spoke with him saying, Arise Adam… When he saw her, he said, You have given me life, and you will be called Mother of the Living, for she is my mother     she is physician     she is woman one who has given birth     Garden roams rhizome or ricochet, faerie ringlets or crash cymbal circles, and Elvin Jones jams polyrhythm multiplicity     Ensemble always multiplies, not a one but an uncountable crop, the Field Feminine Coral Kaleidoscope     I enter exit ensemble the Garden and Garden glows god gulp the glade gator of Woman     No structure but the Garden Ensemble, the acknowledgment in air and aether, and the garden rhizomes Zebra’s jaws     The garden rhizomes Zebra’s jaws and she gives me vision of Woman as Judas Iscariot or Judas Iscariot as Taryn     No structure but the oneiric engine which envisions Rhizomic Woman     Ensemble Woman     Vine Vox Vineyard Woman

On the tour, during breaks, Coltrane frequently remained in his hotel room, practicing as usual, playing along to a tape of an Albert Ayler concert     I practice or play the ply porygon of Albert Ayler’s tenor saxophone and I march match bells and vibrations or bells vibrato and prophecies     I prophesy the play or practice centerless center structureless structure radiant baby rhizomic garden     I play Coltrane playing Albert Ayler and the room region relief replays Lion-Face and Lion of the Tribe of Judah / room rhythm rubber bandit Benjamin     While in Stockholm, Coltrane obtained a copy of an Albert Ayler record, probably Something Different!!!! Ayler’s first record     Ayler would soon come to have a strong influence on Coltrane’s music     I do not remember when I encountered Albert Ayler’s music: perhaps indeed it was through John Coltrane     I bought Interstellar Space by John Coltrane (With Rashied Ali on drums) and it caused a paradigm shift in the way I thought about music     No, wait, the first time I discovered Albert Ayler’s music was through the NPR series The Avant-Garde Made Easy with Kevin Whitehead     He covered Albert Ayler, Sun Ra, Anthony Braxton, Lester Bowie, and Misha Mengelberg     The composition Ghosts immediately struck me as something with spiritual virtuosity and tenor saxophone holy ghost vision     Albert Ayler said, Trane was the Father, Pharoah was the Son, I am the Holy Ghost / John Coltrane’s group on Meditations plays Father, Son, and Holy Ghost

The lion links nonlinear, and I, a less YHVH, letter leontoeides and I murk or marsh in matter / my matter mists mysts mysticism, Mount Tabor banked thorns Taryn     I mature mountain lion in matte black paintings and black below banters black iron prison benzodiazepines but the Book Redeems     The Book Beach blesses Sweet Springs or Montana Del Oro and the osos swallow ouroboros / neanderthal bear worship

In the Beginning is the Book (There is the Book of God, through which God questions himself.  And there is the book of man.  It is on the scale of God’s)     In the Beginning the Book of God and the Book of Adam oozes One, and the One oriels the outer and inner omega     The One opera the exterior and interior monad, the myth marvel moment / Mount Tabor     I excavate from the marsh of the book several figurines made from mammoth ivory (they featured dots, lines, and x-shaped markings… these seem to be not an attempt to depict actual surface creatures of the creatures in question, but may well be a ritual or even religious character)     I write wild horse or woolly mammoth and the minotaur maces or mauls monad / monad marrows multiplicity and the marriage mixolydian always-already multiplies monad     Monad eclats multiples the lion-face and serpent-torso, Christ Chimera and Christina Marie Manticore     I write or sculpt the cave lion decorated with thirty finely incised crosses on its spine and the spine strikes sparks the serpent’s body     I incise inchworm jazz standard woman and she also sings mood indigo malchut mountain lion     Very few animal bones indicate regular intrusion of carnivores and bone dispersion by hyenas and wolves     I stalk or stake animal bones and arrange arithmetic circles or the witches’ flight witches’ sabbath accompanied by wolf women     I gather animal bones and gut to tie frets or fractures and the animal arrives ancient in my own bones / long bone chamber of felines     I canal or channel cave lions and her lioness assists me ambiguous abyss     Abyss airports Absence, an ambiguity absence advance absence and Adonai attempts to open the aperture / void vod avoid vision     Abyss augments black acrylic or the dripped pre-desert and Abyss algebras anarchy     I enter Anarchy shamanic and Anarchy ecstatic, and Sol Lewitt said the first wall drawings were done within caves     I enter Cave Abyss the antenna aerosol / spray paint street insects or lion engines and I car chariot Cat Christina and Coyote Christina archaic animal     Archaic Animal Arche Animal obliterates original     Anarchic Animal orchards original overgrowing original and whatever occurs under original mystery orgasms the ouroboros orgy / Original across animal is the Cross, Gargoyle Golgotha     Arche chlorines chaos, crescent car crash and the car crash is a fertilizing event rather than a destructive event     Arche cassette tapes Chaos a noise microrelease limited to twenty-five copies, and the Chaos couples carnival the elephant chasm (the unaging Chronos produced Aether and Chaos and made in divine Aether, a silvery egg, from which everything else appeared)     Egg is experiment experience: time egg or chrono trigger taryn tiger and I listen to the polyrhythms of Tigran Hamaysan

I did a lot of journaling, says Asia.  About God and women.  What did you discover about God and women?  That’s he a misogynist.  What can we do to make God not a misogynist?  Kill him.  According to Christianity and Paul, women were created unequal… I was going to continue but then I realized you would put it in your book and maybe I want it in my book… Though your writing would be a lot different than mine… Basically Adam was created in union with God and the Earth, women were created when God tore a piece of flesh from man.  Man resents her for it, she says.  Yes, of course I want to put it in my Book!  A lot of gnostic scriptures, it is Eve or Zoe who gives Adam gnosis of his true nature.  Eating the fruit was Eve’s first attempt at self-agency, says Asia.  The first choice she made for herself was to obtain knowledge, she says.  In other gnostic scriptures, the Serpent is Christ attempting to illuminate humanity.  Eve is punished by Yahweh for her self-agency, right?  And ironically Adam is punished for his passiveness.  Yes, he wants her ignorant, says Asia.  (I go on a long monologue at this point)  When she gives birth to Cain, the literal translation is, I have obtained the Man with Yahweh.  I myself along with other theologians interpreted it as Eve believing she gave birth to the Messiah or even Yahweh in human form.  There’s an interesting book by Carlos Saures called The Cipher of Genesis where he uses his own idiosyncratic interpretation of Kabbalah to say Eve gives birth to the Son of Man and Cain is a form of Christ.  Similarly for him Mary Magdalene is a necessary companion of a Christ as well as Judas Iscariot, who perfects what the other disciples are too weak to do.  In Judaism, Cain is considered the first repentant and a great man because he turned from his evil ways.  I want to say if one looks for it, there is a hidden cipher or code in the Bible itself that undermines itself (this is an axiom of deconstruction).  The Woman is hidden, surreptitious, but continually interrupting the narrative of the Bible.  My friend Ann Marie has done a lot of work into this.  I think you see the eruption of this in the form of the Shekinah (the divine feminine) in Jewish mysticism and Mary Mother of God in early Christianity.  They had to contain that femininity somehow, put boundaries on it, before it completely overtook the narrative.  But even if they put boundaries, she leaks out.  She spreads out as a liquid into the chasm, into the crevice, into the gap, I say.

The Sun is the width of a human foot and she sits surface the psychic suggestion     The sun sums Logos lighthouse verbum verb word woman and her foot feathers the fuck flutter     Her foot steps the steppe bison and cave lions / the essential is mystical and the mystical is solar: Sun Ra Saturn Sabbatai Sevi

The ensemble passages were based on chords, but these chords were optional… In the solo plus quartet parts there are no specified chords… These sections were to be dialogues between the soloists and the rhythm sections…  I passage process or process passage, circuit condor transatlantic circumnavigation     Passage pushes oceanic, the whale woman osseus ossia ouroborus, and I play passage prototype, my proximity to cave paintings cave drawings cave lion-headed woman     Book proliferates miles of cave passages and I spelunk subterraneans    Subterranean sections sandstone tenor saxophone and Taryn tykes or tonkas cave bulldozer and backhoe (some of the band’s most infamous shows included cutting a dead cat in half with a machete, strapping a circular saw to his back and almost cutting his leg off, and destroying part of a venue with a backhoe bulldozer by driving it through the back wall and onto the stage)     I process passages structures subterranean and the cave substrate or strata staggers solos and ensemble sections     I solo noise the name Yahweh and Yahweh completely clouds the signal-to-noise ratio the ritual of the cave     I solo noise the name YHVH and YHWH, Taryn Tetragrammaton glade grammar glamour archaic animal magick     Noise vibrates / noise annihilates AUM OM OUROBOROS: these sections dialogues between soloists and rhythm sections      I dive dialogue desert outer space subterranean and I near noise nests kenotic intervals, the multiphonics of Albert Ayler     Dialogue overdetermines outer darkness and Desert differs and defers by big bang dialectics     Dialogue drifts destroyer, and Desert deconstruction drills subterranean / depths dead depths     At some point he called Albert Ayler and explained: I recorded an album and found out that I was playing just like you, to which Ayler replied, No, man, don’t you see, you were playing like yourself.  You were just feeling what I feel and were just crying out for spiritual unity     Sometimes I write or play and I get lost in the desert and caves     I venture deeper and deeper crescendo and decrescendo after every solo, and sometimes the water rush rabbits underground rivers, neon noise and laptop noise and the oscillators shaking and overhearing ouroboros / I do not recognize this labyrinth     I do not recognize this Garden of Forking Paths and Abyss swirls around me     Nevertheless, I write and I play, even in the serpent solo structureless structure     I think about calling John Coltrane or Albert Ayler but I feel reluctant to visit the dead: I visit the music instead     I listen to Ascension and I never fell in love with Ascension: I prefer Meditations and Ascensions’ spiritual successor Machine Gun, but this time Ascension arrays ahead and again angelic passages     Passages possess passion     Passages prophesy passion, the shaman silk slide subterranean and she strangles me with a bedsheet     Passages pinprick panorama, rock rhinoceros horn unicorn the corpus of Christ, and through passage, Christ says be passerby     Coltrane describes Ascension in a radio interview as a big band thing, although ti resembles no big band records made before it     Book bulls blue big band bomb and bomb elastic flushes bone bath, beach hyenas and lambda leopards     Book bulls blue body big band and my body boxes the break below     My Book Body butters black paintings and pigment breeches big band tuttis     Below and Above, Ascension, and I enter exit the long tone ensemble language musics / Art arche larva lion paintings     Below and Above, the Big Band thing, and ensemble or orchestra buttons cave ouroboros, salamander or serpent     I know Below the belly of the whale woman, and she as the dark-haired girl blinded me with the Christian fish     the female fish     ichthys in ecstatic improvisation     I know Below, big band gnosis or the community of gnostics surround me immediate immanence     

According to Shepp, Free Jazz created a new form, and Ascension is a further step into the development of that form     I much prefer Ascension to Free Jazz: I respect Free Jazz but I have learned to love Ascension     I feel my form flux or fracture lithic flakes quartz obsidian / form disintegrates in the desert     From becomes ritual in the cavern, I take on no form or whatever form comes from my fist is wing chun (God no longer speaks to us; he has interrupted himself: we must take words upon ourselves)     I take on no form but I take on words and Word, Logos Lighthouse Woman and Taryn Tower of Babel / Her hermeneutics speak the Babylonian Lion     Form forms around me Lion-Faced and Lion-Figure (Don’t get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water)     Woman whips the weavework and wavewake in water, and water wendybirds Benjamin / no brick no building just opening     Open to Bear and Bear washes in river salmon rattle shaman and her paws pine my shoulders     God speaks to me through Woman, Woman KRYSXTRYN and Woman Asia Rain and she chandeliers or arks candelabrum, a tabernacle castlevania / all areas arche Adonai     Formless, I float son of man flesh on flesh, and ascension agains ahead acknowledgment     I repeat acknowledgment, pursuance, resolution, and psalm, and psalm palm tree garden beguiles Word and Word Woman     Word Woman bewitches Garden, her She-Serpent Christ ensemble and Assembly     Word Woman ensembles the enter exit big band Beast and John the Baptist, and I submerge subterranean, an uluru underground     Structurally, Ascension is organized around a succession of modes which serve as starting points for the musicians and Ekkehard Jost identified three modes:  Bb Aeolian, D Phyrgian, and F Phyrgian, while David Such added a fourth, Gb Lydian     Musicians magma modal musicians, and I magic manic IT IS WRITTEN and I let the Word fall back on the dreaded