CW: body horror The Body Pharmakos tulips ritual trance tumor-trace teratoma trace tetragrammoton, the talon of traces Trace tokes tail tickling the dragon’s tail and pharmakon cokes radioactive rudder river as I etch a copy of Albrecht Durer’s Four Horseman of the Apocalypse Tetragrammaton traces Tetragrammaton tagoments taryn tackle total, and Tetragrammaton lodges in my metatarsals and my bone tumors elephant foot flash fantastic Tetragrammaton knuckles antinatalism god genocide or black fucking cancer Should I cut the last paragraph out – no, leave it in – the pharmakon or pharmakos always-already cuts and is in the cut My body in the cut covens continuum My body cuts clade Christian carnivorous / Godzilla vs. Destroyah My body cuts in cut the tracee cut Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay hill helios my her body Tetragrammaton always cuts, and it is cut, not a surgical slice its cut ridges ragged, hewed comb-like from the keystone and Ehye Aser Ehye elders my body in exile Yahweh hunts my body hera and heres ghost-word and ghost-language / Yahweh of Samaria and his Asherah Yahweh of Temur and his Asherah The Samaritans that seem to have practiced the name of God as Jahu or Ja Ja Alice Jubilee jaws Judas Iscariot and I too battery for the sake of the body Christ / the secret discourse that Jesus spoke with Judas Iscariot in the course of the week, three days before the passion Ja joins Judas passiopli passion erotic intensity and I jada jaws jamb vamps Jahu volumes Volumes vore Tetragrammaton, and thus far, I have written twelve volumes of Book and Yahweh and his Asherah, Yahweh and KRYSXTRYN, Yahweh and Asia Krystal Kyrios cains kairos, time times taryn Krystal Kyrios quarters queer cloisters, the budding Bridal Chamber He who pronounced the Name with its own letters has no part in the world to come / I pronounce Tetragrammaton Yahweh and Yod-Hah-Vav-Hay and I also attach the Female Name Yahweh Krystal or Yahweh Christina or Yahweh Asia the female name compresses the name The female totals the Name binary and nonbinary the Christ contradiction (in same, all that exists is founded on the mystery of Her Name and upon the mystery of these letters of which it consists) Everything returns to her, chain chalice chain and I play Castlevania: Symphony of the Night My crissegram chops up Castlevania creatures and the chain chisels symbols Christina Anything returns rare river the ribs Christina and Christina the Chenoboskian manuscripts and the corpus hermeticum heras her Being aware of the horror movies from long ago (long before the slasher flicks) I wanted the players to feel like they were in a classic monster movie I like monsters because I write monstrosity and my body balloons monster and I want to write my body universal classic monsters or hammer horror my cock stuck in a castlevania game Because of Nintendo of America’s censorship policies at the time, most instances of blood, nudity, and religious imagery were removed and edited in early castlevania games / I want more blood, more nudity, more religion I want my bleeding god to thrust his cock in internet pornography and revive Porno Chic and the Golden Age of Porn I want to sign sigil symbol my name her name Yahweh in blood in the pages of this Book / blood splatter blood spigot blood faucet I write grand guinol god, the horror hiss hovel After being bombarded endlessly by road safety propaganda, almost a relief to have found myself in an actual accident Yahweh the Actual accident aleph alice almost fetus in fetu (anterior posterior abdominal radiograph shows a soft tissue mass in the right hemiabdomen mass contains calcified osseous-appearing structures of varying sizes and shapes) Yahweh in an Actual Accident emits alpha radiation a slow alice acute triangle and the triangle twins as crystals or fog fetuses (a computed topography scan of the same patient’s abdomen pre-operation reveals a large retroperitoneal soft-tissue mass These are large hyperdense opacities that resemble fetal bones) My actual accident opens aeons / suicide el shaddai suicide Car crash christ crumples Children and Airbag plays on the radio Car crash christ keter color me blood red and Christ’s crucifixion directs splatter films / The Passion of the Christ displays the most decadent torture porn But you will exceed them all. For you will sacrifice the man that bears me I bear Christ cave bear cave hyena and I strip Christ bare the body of his mysteries I bear Cross and a great Cross turn Christ, and the Christ in my Christ reveals to me: In truth, in very truth I tell you, he who has faith in me will do what I am doing, and he will do greater things still I exceed exit estuary and the erotic evens ear eye nose throat and Taryn’s throat throttles God’s torso I exceed elam edom Christianity and my palm palms Palm Tree Garden Strange body semiotics but the Cross signs ursign and urtext / through Cross, I write the God into existence Through Cross, I write the Ground of Being into Ground as Being, and I become / I will Be What I will Be Primitive Body Samael Body Sensual body Prototypical Body Female Body Female and she suntrees world serpent My body panbabylons the primitive or primeval babel and zebra zeros ziggurat I dreamed the stepped tower as my betelgeuse body and I burn hydrogen horror catastrophe I dream the tower on the steppe stepped pyramid and the pillar pangaea pieces my skull transorbital / el elyon lobotomy My body in horror horoscopes heresy and the bones splinter fracture fragments My body in horror houses factory and I manufacture monsters The mosnters mutilate as my god face to face and the face melts from my skull (donor face and the full facial allograft with preserved periorbital subunits for victim of accidental gunshot injury) Monsters mime mummery plays or mystery plays, and in mystery I meditate on the Passion X and the Passion Christina and I collect her blood holy graal holy grail the gibson girl god If God is, it is because He is in the Book The Book books Body by bricking the brick Babel The Book bassoons Body, the introduction to the sacred spring, and its ritual rows ring around the roses / the sacrifice of the young girl The Book blossoms Body burden dumah desert and the desert porneia, pantheons prostitutes No book can be a ladder, although no doubt there are books which discuss and negate and demonstrate this possibility and others whose structure compounds to that of a ladder God climbs the ladder of the Body or the Book ladder recanons God rung by rung, the Retris Woman I know God exists because the Book exists and I almost invent God or at least I invent the history of inventing God / God gross geos genealogies The Book bites bit by bit the God bridle and God body breath bohme breath Ladder lessens but I interpret excess insects Ladder los lacks but the insects locust a little apocalypse Locusts ladder a little alice and she turns tehillim and all I do is copy psalms I copy psalms and the Book summers centerless center / psalms cellular I copy psalms and deep calls to deep in the roar of thy cataracts, and all thy waves, thy breakers, pass over me I rarely pray or I pray all the time writing and the written prays for me The book prays for me psalms spirit serpent Deep calls to deep domed diamonds and deconstruction daguerreotypes the descent daphne Deep calls to deep servant girl annihilator and the three women were severely mutilated while outdoors Town is dreadfully dull except for the frequent raids of the servant girl annihilator, who makes things lively in the dull hours of the night and perhaps the psalms saw my torso (Hermicorectomy, a radical surgery in which the body below the waist is amputated, transecting the lumbar spine: this removes the legs, the genitalia internal and external, urinary system, pelvic bones, anus, and rectum. An extremely mutilating procedure recommended only as a last resort for people with severe and potentially fatal illnesses such as osteomyelitis, tumors, severe traumas, and intractable decubiti in, or around the pelvis) Psalms saw my torso and my halves horse skull heavy horror My lower half and upper half mirror as above, so below, and they twin language two microcosms two macrocosms kitchen psalms and krystal psalms My lower half and upper half rung to rung male and female Yahweh and Asia or Yahweh and Taryn and the language amens lumens interstitial intercourse (erotic scene, rim of an attic red-figure kylix, c. 550 BCE) Adonai amputates and places my surgical blood in ampules (my bones crack glass necks in nails and my nostrils inhale nag hammadi dust Adonai amputates by axe and God gyms servant girl annihilator or the torso thymes murder God glisses torture garden (to the priests, the soldiers, the judges, to those who educate, instruct, and govern men, I dedicate these pages of murder and blood) Amputation opens radical God, the God with flat antennae and its connections network as spore colonies The amputation slices splices radical theology and I cut the God in the same gesture as he cuts me I cut Yahweh halves wholes hemoglobin and God goons ghouls ghosts abandoned bodies or chopped bodies in dumpsters / I dumpster dive and I find a multiplied blonde bombshell Should I be writing body horror? What about pornography? That’s up to you, says Asia. I can’t tell you what to write about. I’m not even sure why you find those subjects appealing so it’s kind of hard to say. You can tell me what to write about! You’re the Goddess! You are Prophet to my Prophet! I feel like I should say that I have a bias especially with body horror. I can’t help but think men who like body horror have some associations and unsettling beliefs or thoughts about women. There has to be something there that gets pleasure from the idea of women being subjugated and torn apart. That being said, it is very hard for me to think that you’re coming from a good place in that regard, says Asia. I meditate on body horror and why I write it I meditate on the body of Jesus, the Passion and the Stations or the Cross I read the Gospel of Mark and its account of the crucifixion: They brought him to the place called Golgotha, which means place of a skull He was offered drugged wine but would not take it They fastened him to the cross They fastened Christ to the Cross and the Cross chymical rakes body chalk and body cubit The Cross charcoal clips Christ in chunks and the flesh fizzles form a fire / I smoke Christ’s body a pack of cigarettes The body of Jesus invites body horror and body horror interprets Christ’s body a well-manicured mutilation The Book whips Woman, crucifies Woman, spears Woman, and I bury Woman in Christ’s tomb The book bears body horror as the bible displays body horror (when he arrived there, he picked up a knife, and he took hold of his concubine and cut her up limb by limb into twelve pieces, and he sent them through the length and breadth of Israel) The concubine’s body exceeds Christ’s body for which no extension exists The concubine’s body has no atonement, no hilasterion, even in the Cross Woman overcomes the Man, and Christ cannot endure enough violence for this concubine I enter ester interrupts Sodom and Gomorrah, and I perform scream phoenix or faun flesh I all against Yahweh as one who destroys bodies and I engage sodomy Yahweh in acts of love Philip K. Dick speaks about the trash layer, God hiding secretly in the most abject things: science fiction novels, pulp fiction, supermarket tabloids… I expand that to horror and pornography The Divine lurks there, not in spite of malformed and terrorized bodies, but because the bodies exhibit the malformed, the terrorized, the abject The Woman’s Body is Divine par excellence In body horror, I explore my own anxieties and horror of horrors, my monstrous and abominable body, my own graphic and violent abominations My imaginary suicide swamps my body’s sludge / no survivors reported I have visions of my death in Spain, fleeing the streets during the running of the bulls and the bull gores from groin to skull, my body stretched then scattered souvenirs for survivors I crash my car and melt with metal mutagen mutations or malignant mimic the giant cockroach disguised as a man in a trench coat / the studio chopped off my daughter’s arms I grew up watching slasher movies I feel nostalgic for it I wrestle with the Yahweh who stalks and slits stomach, and the Women in my life suffer slasher Yahweh However, the writing redeems Not that they need redeeming, but it reveals the strange spark something in the trash layer and abject I want to embrace everything and I want to experience everything The Divine Other obligates the Prophet to embrace everything and experience everything, the very god and the very human A radical flatness or radical connective tissue to everything connects me to even the horrific I nurse the horrific I nurse the body horrific and sick, the disease processes that pluck pinions from the peacock body until mutilated naked I nurse liver lived horror, my body embracing body through horrific Christs and Women, and I only understand Yahweh through horror and as horror Amputation opens an adolescent God’s cranium and develops drip dramamine driller killer calcium I trepan this holy skull, a skull son of man, and the amputation layers different divine limbs into tower toppling tower I remove shattered bits of bone from a fractured skull and I clean out the blood that pools under the skull after a blow to the head Taryn trepans a bore deep into benjamin / I feel Taryn tickling my brain Taryn trepans the tabernacle of my brain no trespassing and she transects my spine transmutation Taryn transects my spine and I shaman shades exiting my stoma and the spirits drill holes through my toenails / Taryn tarot trephination (the perimeter of the hole in this trepanned neolithic skull is rounded off my ingrowth of new bony tissue, indicating that the patient survived the operation) Terebra serrata perforated the cranium by manually rolling the instruments between the surgeon’s hands Terebra tenebroso Taryn tilts porneia and my porneia prints woodcuts and wood engravings My porneia picks pricks passages through skull and my skull car crashes parking places I explore my cranium with Taryn by means of a mirror and Taryn masturbates neurosurgery Taryn tarps taft tracks regular intersecting cuts Scraping utilizing an abrasive instrument such as flint circular grooving boring and cutting by a circular trephine or crown saw burr hole done by drilling several circle holes closely to create a space and then cut the bone between the hole Taryn scrapes scale scorch the depth of bone removed Taryn scrapes scrap trash from my brain and sometimes my brain bursts tentacles and tendrils and Taryn cuts the extraction of the stone of madness I write the surgery shaman or the shaman writes and I imagine Abraham ben Abulafia appears before me as my spirit source or a sniper sharpshooter
Month: February 2023
An Alliteration On Aurora Consurgens, Among Other Things
CW: Body Horror imagery I go through old notes and I find some interesting writing: ... Aurora consurgens Angelic conjunction Aurea hora Holy areola Antimony anarchy arks art ararat Antinomian animism names numeral and inscriptions Animated astronomy strums astrology and alchemy… I must have been working on a poem meditating on the letter A and its alliterations I think I’d like to do something with this (dated April 23, 2020) Aurora amys Alice and Aurora ara Arena Alice resonates Christina chimes Chimera Christ Alice Aurora animals curtains rays spirals flickers flesh and my flesh ladders lighthouse (always ladder and ladder Alice) Aurora aurochs area or area and the area awls cave wall wallpaper primordial painting primeval painting painting polar poles – no, painting polar light rare red and blue blare I’ve never seen an aurora but the aurora dremels dynamic systems the desert system of my body and body boa constrictors voce voice body belly boa blankets light Light escapes never escapes alternating aurochs ayin black hole body and I don’t know light I don’t know light but supernal darkness and superluminary darkness a woman’s body in abyss Abyss calls to abyss body aurora body between abyss and my body towers beacon / slashlight signallight sigillight I wrote aurora consurgens and I write aurora consurgens and the alchemy apple orchards alice animatronics The alchemy cocaines coca-cola adult cinema and everything I write intersects Everything intersects insects and I interpret insects as alchemical woman and dream woman Dream constructs poetry and the theopoetics and god springs as pop goes the weasel I wrote aurora consurgens and I write aurora consurgens and this chymistry coagulates apophatic I always attempt to write the apophatic, this unnameable or this unsayable, because the arche-writing and Book Tohu Wa-Bohu cyclones my only language / language latter rain language I wrestle language in is God and God glows language God glows gleams granite language and the language largos bone-eating worms leeching I contemplate my cross crossroads of christianity and gnosticism and alchemy and sabbateanism I contemplate my crossroads (you can run, you can run, tell my friend willie brown you can run you can run tell my friend willie brown that I got the crossroad blues this morning, lord, babe, I’m sinking down) and the crossroads curve cusp chorale four voices and four-part counterpoint: contrapuntal christianity, contrapuntal zebra zohar, contrapuntal chymistry and alchemy, contrapuntal poetry and the prophets speak prophecy The prophets cry poetry pulp fiction science fiction the PKD trash layer and I distill and coagulate supermarket tablets into Yahweh (I was in the prematurely air-conditioned supermarket and there were all these aisles and there were all these bathing caps that you could buy which had these kind of fourth of july plumes on them they were red and yellow and blue I wasn’t tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach) I had been avoiding the beach and I had been avoiding the poetry prophecy and the beach agars alembic I standstill I’m still vessel vassal vision and I steep the Christina cucurbit I steep the steppe proto-indo-european language and my language bomb-ombs beach flask the liquid flagellation of flesh Spirit sublimates spirit nautilus shell beach and the beach breaks water woman Beach breaks bark driftwood woman and she serves sonic boom street fighter 2 She mermaids vermeer blue bathers and her tail whipperwills wheel ocean Ocean onibaba orients ordet, and word witches woman Witch words woman and woman witches word beach bitches brew Someday I will return to aurora consurgens Someday I will return to All and Everything I like the idea of cinema more than I like watching cinema I want to study film but I don’t want to watch film I almost like the idea of everything more than everything itself, with the exception of writing and what I write about / sometimes I write everything Can I tell you about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ? Uh, sure, says Asia. I’m just kidding. I was just saying I am really unhappy with Christianity and I really want to leave it… do you still believe in God at all? I’m not sure. Not really, I guess. I still find spirituality appealing at times but it always turns into me crafting my own god. What's your own god like? I guess more like what people think the holy spirit is like? A loving guide. I don’t know. What I always end up coming back to is ‘we are the hands of God’. I think God tossed me out into the garbage. Has God ever been with you? Yes. I was a prophet to God. I’m just frustrated with Christianity and Christian God stuff. It makes me feel very alone. I think I have to explore the idea of the hands of god in the novel I want to start. It’s going to be a historical fiction about the race riots in Bogalusa. I keep thinking about the transcript of the core member from Los Angeles saying “If there is a just God then he would want me here, doing this,” says Asia. If there is a just God, then she would want me writing the Book So I write the Book So I write KRYSTRYN So I write Asia I like mythology, folklore, and urban legends I used to like conspiracy theories until people started taking them seriously I write no text orleans origins X origins and Sun Ra introduced me to the X as a fundamental self-identification: unknown and mystery and I write the mysteries I write unknown or mystery christianity, a pregnant Xtina as X, and X is mustard seed and when it falls on prepared soil, it produces a large plant and becomes a shelter for birds of heaven I write the Christian horror and Horror Yahweh and Yahweh havocs horror the serpent hammock and I sleep something like the apocalypse / did I ever tell you my favorite color is blue? Blue blues beach boundaries and I draw salt circle the wilderness I mimic The Last Temptation of Christ, and the lion and she-serpent threaten me terra taryn tarantula but the circle saddles scarecrow conjuring The circle crowns Christianity Christ’s crypt and I comprise the circle Christ as cryptid blue bombs as blasts beach and I buttress the beach magic writing magic ritual parable inside parable Sphere space collapses cone and I feel the curves close capture my body and she photographs herself again and again posing nude in graveyards and abandoned houses or entwines her body with tree roots and rotting vegetation I gaze at Francesca Woodman’s photographs I read articles and essays about her photography speak ghosts and they foresee my own suicide Her body dissimilar to my body still covets the corner in body and perhaps the female artist embodys the Divine Feminine for me I reify the woman exploitation Her suicide is not my suicide; first of all, I’m too damn old for her suicide I must immerse myself in art to survive humanity All Aleph All Abyss, isn’t it? All Aleph All Abyss isn’t it Aleph a loss apothecary and the chymistry contacts electricity / letters shock blue beach double double bass bitches brew The apothecary formulates and dispenses materia medica and I medicine machine in other messiah or messianic machine mother multitudes Aleph multitudes and aleph molochs multiplicity / clay tablets have been found with medical texts recording symptoms, prescriptions and the direction for compounding I nurse aleph multitudes and aleph multiplicities and though in this town is noon apothecarie, I shal myself to herbes techen yow / apoecary work as gateway to women as healers and women heal we woman heals me All Aleph All Abyss, isn’t it? All Aleph All Abyss isn’t it I should invent some fictional documents or construct some languages I should invent a library and a catalogue of books I write books barren but then they give miraculous birth as sarah and hannah Language gods gruppens glut gut language, and my language solvents three conductors and three orchestras language labyrinths gruppen and each group-as-language moves within its temporal scale and I synthesize orchestra music, chamber music, and solo music Language follows language Language overlaps language Language acculturates language / word absorbs word word word obliterates word word plays word Their end is lodged in their beginning Their beginning in their end A flame and a coal End exceeds end the speech scroll zero Zero zeppelins zebra, the camouflaged Horselover Fat God, and I experience her body photographs body and her body writes end-to-end apocalypse Her flesh writes beginning-to-beginning revelation and she reveals the Empire Never Ended She opens elephant eleven excess, and in this dream, the most profound dream, the woman soothsays star charts and baseball trading cards End extends etudes boreales and the chance operational e-bow body benjamin End extends etudes australis duets for two independent hands and my hammer-in-hand hooks string piano interiors Some five hundred and fifty four-and-five note chords were available for each hand and my hand spells body death and a performance shows the impossible is not impractical End evens exterior and the hands continually cross, a crossroads construct music of changes I enjoy end because then I start a new beginning I start a new beginning and discover its continuation of end, and I realize nothing ends or everything ends Nothing ends and everything ends and then it ends God ends too and sometimes a resurrection I imitate end but writing never ends or the end lodges itself in the beginning as a pregnant parasite Parasite polos a smoke plume, this is just to say, a plum, and end opals an organic orchard body surfaces body I found an old story by Taryn about a stripper named bubbles. It is dated June 23, 2018. Enjoy this bit of frivolity. I leave in her original mistakes and spellings. I should ask Taryn to tell more stories: Well it was a usual night for Bubbles and the CEO’s were hard to please, as she was twirling the pole, people were throwing sodas and hot dogs at her instead of the usual dollar bill. She then remembered an awesome day from pre-school called the hokey pokey, should I she stated to herself, why not what could I lose. So as the crowd was booing she got on the mike, and the crowd went silent. You put your right foot out… You put your right foot in… The crowd was silent and confused. You put your right foot out… you put your right foot in… One man shouted from the crowd THE HOKEY POKEY!!! The crowd cheered her on!!! You turn about and do the hokey pokey!! She had the whole crowd doing the hokey pokey!! I feel too serious I need more frivolity and comedy (and not the divine kind) I interpret crucifixion I interpret crucifixion end to end or end for an end and crucifixion approaches aporia Cross approaches aporia pick up your cross and follow me I follow strangeness X end entrance exit and this is not an exit but a Sabbath Crucifixion incarnates impasse impossible angels a life aperion and Christ cardinals cross aleph one or a cardinality strictly bigger than the integers Christ numbers nueme fragments infinites infinitesimals to point-puncture in undecidability I interpret cross and it dismantles or deconstructs Cross the structure and structure the Christianity Cross bevels hermeneutics breath babel Benjamin and Qohelet crux corium commands Cain / Cain reveals mere breath Cross heresies hermeneutics, the aporeitic trauma and it wounds woman with an unending trail The arporos puzzles as cross the alice abyss and myth movarium vulgars my language rough sex and prime ploy Cross bevels babylon benjamin and my edge urges a sumptuous unction, the cut of oil and blood Cross between bricoleurs itself impossible objects and undecidable figure Cross has its appetite and eats erotic the body surging aurora consurgens and crucifixion exchanges in its alchemical art death death drives resurrection Cross catacombs pornography and my porneia pursues arporos, a written description or illustration of prostitutes or prostitution Cross catagons pornography and my porneia prisms arporos, light loins light the illuminated manuscript of my naked body and the cross transforms into a totem or fetish I wear a devotional cross necklace and on the cross is the following devotions: Sacred Heart of Jesus, Our Lady of Ms. Carmel, the Miraculous Medal front and back, the Holy Spirit, the Guardian Angel, St. Benedict front and back, Saint Joseph, and the Infant Jesus of Prague. I went through an intense catholic / anglo-catholic period: I also studied Marian theology. I had Caro, my rector, bless it. I tried not wearing it for a day or two because of my rage and pain with Christianity, but the Cross has criss-crossed crusades on my Flesh and I await my body to bear New Earth New Jerusalem Cross the coarse coarse of my body and cross writes the two channels male and female ladder language and writing rivets cross flesh ribbons or its rotor ravages Cross and Christ poltergeist aporia northwest passage and his ghost or holy ghost wraiths writing All my life I have written ghost stories / by telling ghost stories, students transform their college buildings into mysterious and magical places… The stories serve to initiate entering students into a new community I like ghosts: not the experience of ghosts but the idea of ghosts Taryn experienced ghosts and I feel almost sure I have written her ghost stories before: I will ask her again through I like ghosts and I live ghosts: all I storytell is ghosts, a haunted hermeneutics and a hermeneutical hauntology ghost gast geist gowns midnight a spiral spectrum specre rare alchemical metals Wraith writhes writing, body ink body performance penelope Wraith ragdolls bodies ragdolls physics the coroner car crash and it writes bloody book bloody ink anthropodermic bibliopegy I peel my flesh and fasten it to Book, bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh woman I often depict ghosts as covered in shrouds and dragging chains, and the chains chomp chew my child I contain the soul sparks of Sabbatai Sevi and Philip K. Dick / In my previous life, I lived as a Good Christian killed during the Albigensian Crusade I contain many Christian martyrs and many of the Seed of Seth Aporia pins butterfly wings paranormal and Taryn ghost hunts the knot / the puzzle Aporia ozones organs and the apophatic Aporia aviates apophatic and omnivore orgasm opens abyss That God operates in through from Abyss, attic impossible and the Anglican body erotic, and I number VALIS visions via negativa I sometimes read Pseudo-Dionyius and he writes an Aporia God which I cannot call God but I experience the God in language: the written language, my written language, her written language / Her Ur-Text I should for my own Christian mystery cult and initiate others into a gnostic divine feminine / I become the wife of Jesus For the writer, discovering the work he will write is both like a miracle and a wound, like the miracle of the wound The work writes woman and woman writes the work of woman The work writes woman and woman writes the work of woman / woman wordsmiths woman, the warfare of the work The work writes woman horror a slasher film filleting flesh / Christ’s fish body The work hauls woman with a hook and hook hangs suspended cross (you fit into me like a hook into an eye: a fish hook an open eye) I gouge out my right eye and throw it away, not for the sake of sin, but for the sake of woman I gouge out my right eye and I place a hook in the empty socket The gouge graphs gehenna, the gouge god grindcore The gouge gapes galaxy ghost galaxy white zombie / with those zombie eyes he renders her powerless; with this zombie grip he made her perform his every desire! The work hooks worm wire wall and the wire wraps throat trammel tincture Tincture titrates Taryn opoids and the titanium works nadja, near nodes The work hooks nadja neon whorl neon demon The woman wild who rescues me wild wire wild hare human My writing wounds me The written wounds mellow a dandelion dagger or the sunflower stab my body string theory landscape / vacuum virion vision The written wounds my body woodcut and Christian carves the curtain cranium converging into cannon crystal I write my body raw woodcut and I gouge gehenna into my body god gills I write into the woodcut chiaroscuro and Christina cones seven shadows sharing my script She shares my script skeleton and structure stretches the sign and the dimensions of the sign, and the sign gears the cell sorcerer Sign sickles sorcerer wound wendigo woman Fetus in fetu teratoma are rare forms of mature teratomas that include one or more components resembling a malformed fetus. Both forms contain or appear to contain complete organ systems, even major body parts such as a torso or limbs. Fetus in fetu differs from fetuform teratoma in having an apparent spine and bilateral symmetry The Body Pharmakos femurs phantom phosphors, an innards fume fire and fire coagulates the body gush guts The Body floating World wedges pharmakos with the coiled teratoma, and from the abomination of teratoma, Tetragrammaton Tetragrammaton originates in oblivion, a grammar glamour woman pharmakeia Pharmakon pharmakons but the pharmakos lurks light-dark dark-light ritual Tetragrammaton begins bara beginningless, terra Taryn teratoma, and its tumor Tetragrammaton agents Abyss bara bara beginningless and its hourglass glas gores against woman Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay horror hexes holy magic and woman mesmers monster, my body monstrosity Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay horrors hags hazel and the teratoma with malignant transformation sinks into my skull sutures / I hallucinate YHVH and my body fellates pharmacy The Body Pharmakos tulips ritual trance tumor-trace teratoma trace tetragrammoton, the talon of traces
Their End Is Lodged In Their Beginning
Their End is lodged in Their Beginning Their Beginning in Their End a flame and a coal Their End is embedded in Their Beginning, and Their Beginning in Their End, a flame bound to a burning coal Their translates Taryn and Their tomes Taryn in through threshold The Their turquoise turn tables Taryn Trickster and Their tintinnabulis time strange structureless structure stamen Their translates Taryn Tower in Tower and Their tomes Taryn in through threshold Taryn Trillium traffics theater and the Tower strafes flat stage structureless structure Taryn traces tangle tower in tower and I text terrain terra Their, Taryn track Taryn Taryn traces tangle tower in tower and terrain tumbles my text terra and the texture of time Taryn trace tenors tower in tower and my torso torques text as terrain My torso trenches text terra or antiterra and the texture of time Time is Their, her Their or Taryn and Taryn tintinnabulis Passion Passover Pli Selon Pli Their tempers Taryn throws text steel shaping steel, and my spine sands steel Their trills Taryn start-stop time and thrones threads a trauma in nameless Yahveh Yahveh toils or twins trauma and Passion of Christ tigers trauma and Taryn body horror, and Cross is Tower Cross is Tower and Their creeps the credos of Cross Their end elms body horror and I exploit woman Asia hates body horror and doesn’t understand why I want to explore body horror; we have a lengthy conversation about it and sometime I will copy it in the Book Their end eddies body horror and a direct experience with Yahweh or the gnostic Yaldaboath elands body horror and Tower Trauma Tallis Their End emits end eclat apocalypse and apocalypse eddas animal archaic humans Their end elfenlocks end eclat / multiples multiply messianic and to every generation a messiah / Christ chasm Christ and Christ chrism Christ I know end in the limit of end, the very real raptor a rose / colors sounds moments music an affirmative pagan Christianity Their end attics erval and perhaps we are the same person the erotic Elohim and end ghosts god ghost guillotine Their end engulfs Beginning an erotic excess an exotic excess pour phantasm phallus fuck flesh Their end encodes beginning earth eyelid or exposed orgasm and my body begins the written My body begins the written black iron prison Perhaps the black iron prison imposes itself as bipolar disorder and the rapid cycling or mixed effective states both contaminates and curios contagion, the memetics of writing Black iron prison fights pharmakon and writing is poison and remedy Writing reveals body horror Yahweh construction destruction deconstruction and the prison simultaneously babels barbarian and towers Benjamin Writing robes revival flesh for frankenstein and black iron prison ravens radical rabbithole and the entrance and the exit project the same graph pseudosolid tracing End is Event End is Event nameless Event, and the Event of my body exceeds Yahweh The Event Cross and Crucifixion captures and recaptures my body infinitely, and its body horror ends in the everywhere experiment Yahweh’s horror begins I begin and end writing rent everywhen and I extract the strange erotic from black iron prison I write elastic the alligator aleph carved in spheres spectral spelling YHVH and black iron prison pulps pornographic and gospel I always write gospel and its medicine flows pharmakon and she poems processes reconfiguration She poems processes pamela pharmakon, my body bonded bounded diseases / machine multiplicity Once, in a cheap science fiction, Fat had come across a perfect description of the black iron prison, but set in the far future. So if you superimposed the past (ancient rome) over the present (california in the twentieth century) and superimposed the far future world of the Android Cried Men River over that, you got the empire, as the supra- or trans-temporal constant. Everyone who had ever lived was literally surrounded by the iron walls of the prison; they were all inside it and none of them knew it Black iron prison is the contemporary church of Christianity Christianity caravans crisis column and it transforms me into bronze serpent and bronze son of man The black iron prison compounds the complex of church and I crawl my heresies on walls radio woman I host heresies Yahweh Saboath and the Yod Hay Vav Hay encrypts electricity The Yod Hay Vav Hay hamlets hell chimney sweepers and her long hair sculpts veiled letters feminine phantoms Female poltergeists gamuts or aggregates gods and chords collect indeterminate Christs / Christinas My body indeterminate ambers ambulates amorphous ambiguity, blob benjamin black iron prison My body iron oxide oboes octopus elbows and the ink ingot stains my body I idiot walk or imbecile walk woman and walls shade somme sonatas Walls share black body black iron and metal animates amphibian limbs microchips and prophecies I see all wall christianity but I chip away at wall with my heresies Rita Hayworth and the shawshank redemption My body continually develops expired film colette camera Camera contains human eye my eye entered through another eye and my machine eye ejaculates oil over orpheus orifices My body constantly endures development and I write the development between or borders development and the black iron prison always transposes or transitions superposition and my body fucks body of God Francesca X2 Sculpture Corner Trace Mask Girl, seeming to disappear My body disappears development black iron prison and my body artists book Book exposes my body end to end iron girders god gall skeleton I photograph my flesh language and I almost forgive the flesh floating water I almost fidget the record of my body’s movement and woman levitates body female lighthouse Mirrors Gloves Birds Bowls She often shrouds her subjects in white sheets Mirror mottles magic Mirror merges magic, motor machine chymistry Mirror mirrors the young girl her body art animal and I know my human animal acid funk free funk the girl avant-garde The book monomania mirrors theme and variations: thema God Taryn or thema Christ cross homosexual body horror There are no new buildings There are no new buildings, only ruins I ruin my body out-of-focus benjamin blurred babel and I entrance alice circular ruins left off dreaming of you My body ruins surrounded by dead girls and her suicide shears shore loft often She ends backwards as light falls on her white body black-and-white body Her body carbon copy copies body and I dream her cupboard inhabited by living insects Their transparent wings also wall, women watching incomprehensible infomercials She wears a white petticoat but her chest is bare The wallpaper covers her body one or two rooms, and she gradually disappears into the walls, the torn wallpaper, the open fireplace, the interior interior iron She wears what and who, wheel worship The wallpaper pans gold palimpsest, the body written rewritten ribs cut and then sharpened graphite orphite liquid ouroboros I write rewrite my body and the woman's body interferes or intercepts my body and I know my body through woman I only know my body Christian and I exploit body writing rewriting raw rope photography What if I’m actually possessed by a legion of demons and prophesying false stuff of the devil? The devil is pretty cool, says Asia. I’m reading old journal entries and its brutal, says Asia. What did you write? Bunch of random shit. There was an entry from when I worked at Goodwill about how I found a jumping spider, a can of dog food, and a gun in the donated clothes. Lots of entries about feeling like I don’t belong in the church, wanting the baptism of the Holy Spirit, wanting fellowship. Entries when my friend died. There’s an entry about how I confided in my brother-in-law about how I was feeling about church and he told my issue was that I had a problem with authority and how I should talk to the pastor. I can’t get over “I think you have issues with authority”. What a misogynistic piece of shit, says Asia. I wonder if PKD was right and there’s a secret gnostic Christianity infiltrating the “false” Christianity. What would the secret Christianity be? PKD thought it was a radical gnostic Christianity that held the true teachings of Christ and would overthrow the evil empire of Richard Nixon and later Ronald Reagan. Damn, sign me up, says Asia. The Empire Never Ended I listen to Alexander Scriabin's Piano Sonata no. 10, op. 70, the Insect Sonata and the insects sequence sequalae and I feel a god incisor in my bone gap Insects egress insects and the pen colony shapes its cells as a peninsula The peninsula colony is an eigenvector and the insects lorelai linear nonlinear lambda the lamb My Tenth Sonata is a sonata of insects and insects are born from the sunkisses of the sun Last night, I dreamt Taylor as a dancing psalter and her insects sunny and bright batarang Psalm Eighty-Eight and I remember I write Taylor I miss Taylor the interpretation of insects and insects eva the interior interval indeterminates dissonant dream I miss Taylor the interpretation of insects and insects eva influx insects Insects map insects the intact exoskeleton and I dream drill dissonance I miss Taylor the interpretation of insects and insects era eva erotic Erotic swarms shell islets inlets just let go and I never let go I remember this dream and to remember transforms the event / I remember the event in metamorphosis and dream reveals veils unveils lace layers silk or rose thou art sick, and in the dream I admit everything car crashes car crashes the collection in bodily insects or insects embodied The dream is sonata insect sonata and Taylor disappears wallpaper I hate dreaming and I always dream a woman disappearing I hate dreaming and I always dream sonata-form Holy Spirit Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost vikings violence and it infiltrates my body buzzing carnivorous insects Holy Spirit insects ingest my body’s interior hollow hell
A Distinctively Bizarre Book
CW: some pornographic language and descriptions of body horror A distinctively bizarre Book, a seemingly deranged miasma of mathematical formula, photographs of herself and scrawled, snaking, handwritten notes I study the book and the Book carnivorous flays my face bare skull some disordered interior geometries I study the Book and the Book boosts boasting insects or the Book boasts boosted insects as beasts the butterfly behemoth bones bronze tubes and frame forged iron and my flesh forged Valley Forge and Winter Woman wasted wendigo Book bermudas a war woman song of Deborah and Benjamin bizarre bizaar baroness Book of the Balances or Book of the Baleen Whale Woman I breathe bizarre book breath bitumen and my lungs lizard tar and Taryn / sawpit viper vision viper verbs roller coaster memories, and I say to Levi, did you know Viper is the only looping Arrow Dynamics coaster left? Megalooper, says Levi. Yes, seven inversion Arrow Dynamic, I say. I study the Book and the Book’s hinge unfolds, Venus Flytrap jaws Book traps my insect body and I write Writing Woman I write the Book Ancient of Ancients Archive of the miasmic magma museum, and Christina creoles a cabinet of curiosities Do you know the history of the Cabinet of Curiosities? I want to make one. A cabinet? In the olden days it was a room. They had unicorn horns and shit. Mine would just be weird ferns. What's the weirdest ferns you know? Ferngully the Last Rainforest, says C. I study the Book and the Book labias lighthouse circles circulating Christina’s cunt / calico cat cabinet of curiosities The Book pelicans I write Christina cock-cunt pornography, and Book bourbons blood the princess is in another castle Pornography positions permutations the mathematics of body and bodies Pornography moans mathematics, the military regiment of body arranging body and body permutating body lobster tail lobster light Mathematics formulates my flesh physics fire, monstrous moonshine masturbation / I print pictures of Christina and then ejaculate on them! At least you won’t waste a lot of ink since my skin is so pale. I just wrote in my book a paragraph about several hands jerking off castrated cocks. I’ve castrated pigs and rabbits! It wasn’t as sexual as you might expect. How was the experience? Don’t pigs have hour long orgasms? All my pigs are castrated males, so no clue. But they hump stuff with gusto! And one of my female rabbits mounts EVERYTHING. Poor rabbit. She seems fine… It’s the other rabbits I feel bad for! We gave her two baby kits in an attempt to satisfy her motherly nature. Nope! She just mounted them! Horny rabbit. Yep! says C. I do not photography myself but my handwriting serpent God graffiti I hand write snake skewered sandpaper sawdust or sandoval and the scrawl scrapes scratches scorches metamorphosis and Book continually transforms or vampires vision Book drives progressing development or developing variation, and its rhythm fisticuffs how now brown cow mathematics / a strangely ironic distance between the soft intimacy of the bodies in the photographs and the geometric rules that covered the pages Book always embodies as Body Book always engenders God generations, the table and tablet of generation Book blastomas rare body horror and my brain bokehs Book bomb blast I’ve always wanted to drive a crashed car. You could get your wish at any moment. No, I mean a crashed car with history. Camus’ Facel Vega. Nathaniel West’s station wagon. Grace Kelly’s Rover 3500. Just fix it enough to get it rolling. Don’t clean it, don’t touch anything else. Book coffins car crashes and history sorcerers animal violence machine mutilation Book kincades car crashes and I melt the metal into my flesh body braces or serpent scars: I gave birth to this serpent via Cesarean section and it slithered between wheel, engine, and body I obsess body: I obsess body machine flesh, Christina cyborg in traffic I obsess car crash: I obsess crash commingled cum, blood, and black ink and I write the body pierced by pillars or hanged man history Sometimes I drive the crashed car which is my body, and the car creatures cauldron The cauldron cooks my cane cage crooked, a frankenstein of fractures, and the fractures frankincense bone splintering frame bone and the cauldron flips body liquefied Book crypts car crash cocoon and the titanium Taryn teratoma spit my carriage cartilage carcass (a horizontal slice of the resected tumor reveals fibrofatty tissue, calcified areas, and a few cystic spaces lined with smooth membrane and containing hair. In the left corner, the involved B5 bronchus is evident) God Ginnungagap gimens ghosts God ginnungagap yawns Yahweh and the Yod attaches to Yesod, Benjamin Joseph or Joseph Father of Jesus and I dread dream void voivod vision Vision gaps some disordered interior geometries and line falls falling man hoist that rag horror God ginnungagap veronicas agitated vellum and script silos a beam abyss I dip gap var velo abyss and vellum scrubs gods text tea tether I base jump from the loft gap loft jazz ginn-heilagr ginn-regin ginn-runa and God rabbits retrograde magic / magic is creation Creation is space spaces enter empty and even the emptiness empties God ginnungagap bejewels ghosts and ghosts gown gone grins alchemical gems I dress in gold I dress in gold and the gripla maps mirror matter or alchemical alicia and I enter exit valley void The enter exit entrances the trace of entrance and void satyrs Christina Marie mare oceanum earth surrounding earth / human surrounding human Humanity exists and the Child of Humanity and the Child surrounds chaos chasm cosmos Humanity exists and enter exits eros eva and it is through the light I see the shape of her image in the water Water Woman wades witches and she helps my whole creature, inboring with me, restoring me to fullness, teaching me about the descent of the seed, teaching me about the way of ascent, which is the way of descent The Descent is the Ascent The Aleph transforms Tou Taryn Tenor The Descent is the Ascent The Descent is the Ascent and hell horsehead hydras heresy dead mall ghost mall zombie mall and mall mutilates or massacres body walking The Descent is the Ascent body walking woman and hell hobos urban deterioration or deterritorialization Hell ritualizes my body liminal, and my body texts context, flesh altered flesh mutated flesh destroyed maggot machinery Hell descends desert noise devil noise and noise nail nerve stabs territory Taryn territory terraforming body bile earth Hell deterritorializes delocalizes displaced and I doppelganger desert direct descent The Descent is the Ascent drones drill drums methamphetamines and I snort Holy Spirit I snort Holy Spirit Holy Ghost gap gape grows ginnungagap In the colophon to this work, Hokusai writes: From the age of six, I had a passion for copying the form of things, and since the age of fifty, have published many drawings, yet all I drew by my seventieth year there is nothing worth taking into account. At seventh-three years I partly understood the structure of animals, birds, insects, and fishes, and the life of grasses and plants. And so, at eighty-six I shall progress further; at ninety I shall even further penetrate their secret meaning, and by one hundred I shall perhaps truly have reached the level of the marvelous and divine. When I am one hundred and ten, each dot, each line will possess a life of its own. As a 37 year old, I have not yet begun my craft… I may not begin my craft until 30 years from now. But also, I will only get better. I willy only improve and I will be creating magic and the divine. Hokusai died at the age of 88, but I also plan to live to be 110. I look forward to writing work that literally hovers over the page like the Breath of Elohim hovered over the Abyss Book of Genesis
I Admire The Photographs of Francesca Woodman
CW: discussion of suicide and suicidal ideation; pornographic imagery and exploitation of female bodies I admire the photographs of Francesca Woodman The photographs of Francesca Woodman inspire me and I contemplate her suicide I contemplate her suicide as I contemplate my future suicide or I think my future phantoons super metroid suicide From a series on angels black and white photographs fleet flat fifth bebop heroin and her face flashed a flight of spiral stairs or fifth floor apartments My apartment is only three stories high and if I jumped, I would not die but only injure myself, perhaps severely A jump is a jump though and any jump jackrabbits the juggler or jackal My body scramjats as jackal or a jackalheaded monk and I dream the monastery I dream myself a heretic in the monastery and I do not understand the songs and psalms / language limps nonlinear, a long bear turkish rhythm not-quite legato Not quite legato but queer quicksand and her body liquefies on impact On January 19, 1981, Woodman took her life, aged twenty-two, jumping out of a loft window of a building on the East Side of New York City The loft alternates long and short pulses, and the pulse swings body aether lieder my doppelganger The loft locusts apocalypse a march of coffin caskets funerals I offer up my flesh to animals No, the loft leaks light, a swirling lochs lake whirlwind woman and the woman jumps / King Jehu slays Jezebel, the gods of Ahab and the prophets of Baal, but I escape with heresy, the hymnen hymen, and I jump blues heresy blocks body Wait, the loft lights library, book body books blossom and I write Nero Woman I write wheel woman near number Nero Woman and write wheel woman near number Nero Woman and in her apple orchard I cord chord Apostate Here, the loft loots lute my body straightened by board and strings, and my body stretched skips water insects I live insect infrastructure loom loft purple and in my on being an angel series, I often see Francesca Woodman’s ghost Her ghost georgias gauntlet and I grip heresy apostasy a sorceress’s schism, and loft splits Loft splits body bedroom and I transmutate Christianity in Hell Herd Heresy I only announce heresy and I only choir apostasy, and my Christianity attacks fire person elements rudder ratio, a radio of mercury and silver why loft but the loch or lara god, and I dip lime limb language and lime lust language, and I concentrate Christianity into true medicine Loft window tints woman transmutates woman and the woman Christian or primordial Kings of Israel and in my apostasy I heal or perfect the metals Edom the Red One or Red-Haired Christina Loft window tows tangent woman and window wolfs wide divers woman Loft window wasps my body woman and I write wren woven Window warps the wine rune and the rock sculpts Christian tomb woman Many of her photographs show women, naked or clothed, blurred (due to movements and long exposure times), merging with their surrounds, or whose faces are obscured I would like to photograph my suicide I want to record my body as my body, the grotesque body or carnival body and I circus circe sorceress woman I would like to photograph my suicide and record and write my body and soul (Coleman Hawkins improvising choruses on my body and soul) and despite telling Asia that the Book is me – I write the Book as I write me, regardless of what I write – and yes, some of that is true, but sometimes I would like is to be more obviously true, not occultly true Of course Francesca Woodman makes murky or shadowy self-portraits – no, not self portraits, but portraits that happen to use her body I want to depict my body or I happen to use my body in my art, this Book I photography my body first and then Woman, or perhaps my body and the Woman photographs alice alike the same gesture I photograph only I rarely photograph but I look at our photographs I take Taryn nude and the photographs do not art but exploit Yes, not nude Taryn but naked Taryn and I take the pictures pornography and I porno masturbation She sends me pornographic self-portraits and I masturbate as a self-portrait, lust lift light The Book exploits and the photograph exploits body to body and job to job Nevertheless, Taryn loves me or she says she loves me and sometimes I think I love her too, and she kabbalahs the keystone of my Book I want to write and photograph her more, outside genre and outside pornography and I simultaneously continue to explore the horror and pornographic Taryn Ashley was known as the Lingerie Queen o the Talkies. She regularly wore revealing costumes or was given story excuses to strip to her underwear. In her first film, she even took a bath on screen. She once joked, I’m sure people must say about me, on the screen, good gracious, is Taryn Ashley going to take off her clothes – again? Cinema sex body suicide photographs Francesca’s jumping the jump or the jump-in-halves and the jump-in-action and her face first flame furthers white fire on blue fire and her face unobserves my face occulted and the nude woman garments me Cinema shrouds shore photographs and I photograph the beach and I had been avoid the beach Cinema sanctifies sins saturated surface celluloid and cinema series shrestha salamander and I slink ambiguous amphibian aqua ambidextrous They shoot horses, don’t they and I shoot film biofilm dark matter blue her francesca benjamin They shoot horses don’t they and I photograph body globe gel geode Body shatters crystals strange suicide or my suicide self-strangulation She methodically whitewashes her own naked body or compares her torso to images of classic statuary My body washes witnesses woman washing face to face flesh the impact of flesh My body washes white chalk auruch antelopes white bone carved into amulets and woman’s body ambers umber ochre The ochre oval evolves loving body pigment and paint and the video vegas dune human Woman tenets torso tiger Taryn and I compare Taryn’s torso to my necropolis Taryn torso torsion tigers jazz jam jungle and I jump torso twisting torso I jump torso twisted skyscraper and my skull jams concrete bloodred paint pavement Some disordered interior geometries Purple-pink covers pages which vary slightly in color traces of pink on several pages These things arrived from my grandmother they make me think where I fit the odd geometry of time… Objects include rabbit ears, a cat, an antique mirror, her body weaving a lacetop, naked from the waist down God geometrizes continually and its compass scratches my body’s circumference God Gorge gnaws geometry point pit pitch and this line distorts nonlinear This line disorders nonlinear, the ouroboros Knot in knot encircles circles the total net The total gamut God all-combinatorial chimes chords: purple-pink chords and pink-purple chords and chord colors chasm The chord colors chasm clusters, eleventh-limit harmonics and I hum ummagumma or several species of small furry animals gathers together in a cave and grooving with a pick I hum Homo hablis and the archaic woman commands fire from the pit and the pit pikes peak painting and photography, and I photograph Woman I photograph Human and Human heaves heavy metal alchemy and the fluid flies loft levitation The fluid flames lift and I lance from loft leaf Elohim Elohim or Eloah is locust lady or locust in lace the face of a Human One or Son of Man and she stabs sword photograph or videotape / I videotape write archive anna apocalypse
Automobile Maps Atlas Charts
CW: body horror and pornographic language It is clear that the car crash is seen as a fertilizing rather than a destructive experience, a liberation of sexual and machine libido, mediating the sexuality of those who have died with the erotic intensity impossible in any other form The automobile maps atlas charts coordinates angles alchemy The automobile antimonies anistrophies and car crash buckles bumper bodies Automobile autotrophic avants antimonies and anistrophies fold irregular steam engine body combustion and car crash carbons industry I mass produce car crash the red asphalt and the metal melts into the eye and stomach / the films are known for there graphic depictions of fatal car accidents Horrendously injured and dismembered bodies are shown in the documentary, typically those of negligent drivers I crucify Christ on the car crash car and the Cross is a corpus or colony of car crashes The Cross cities crossroads with car crashes, the cavity crunch cutter and my seat belt hangs me a rollover upside down cavern Taryn tripwire or limbs landmines Car crash fertilizes my flesh, seed saline seed or dream erection and I say with my little eye Christ’s death erection and his holy ejaculation matchsticks matchlocks matchcuts money shot Machine marinates Christ’s body in great big gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, and chopped up baby parakeet Machines smoke mortuaries bodies burning black carbon or phantasm lobotomies and my machine mines my mucosa, a cellular matrix stretched over museum skeletons Machine marries machine myrtle methyl medley the montage of my libido and machine cuts and cuts scene and cuts body and cuts close=-up and my face feels the windshield tempered glass meet god I imagine Christina still listens to the songs Machine Head or Warm Machine by Bush and all music machines a kind of car crash melody and melody mutates malboge bodies Car crash melody inferno fucks bodies with fire and Benjamin and Christ engage in sodomy, penetrating each other with various metal objects or the shifting know or car window glass The car crash crumple zone zines ZEBRA and Zebra camouflages in punk rock, grindcore, and pornogrind Zebra hides in the prematurely air-conditioned supermarket, the supermarket tabloids, the romantic paperbacks, and I have been avoiding the beach Car crash chains kill bathtub drowning and I drink blue bathers metamorphosis I driller killer forehead metamorphosis and my body metric ergots ungeheveres ungeziefer / my vermin version The insect idiot immixes imago As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a giant insect The insect idiot immixes imago, chrysalis krystal chrysopoeia The insect idiot is benjamin brundlefly, the fool and jester juggler, and I immix with car engine Christina an image a mirror imago Insect interprets insect the shiv wings hard encasing and my creature appears horribly asymmetrical and deformed, and not at all a viable and robust organism Asia loves insects I was thinking about when I was a kid, playing in my Aunt’s house in Louisiana, playing in the yard and in the woods and finding so many bugs and each discovery was a small treasure. Then it hit me that the world insect population went down by more than one-third and it’s still dropping… I did something silly yesterday in an attempt to reconnect to kid me. I bought a shark tooth necklace. Did you like sharks as a kid? Yes, and dinosaurs, and power ranges, and godzilla. I used to wear a shark tooth necklace all the time. I have this picture of me from the fourth grade where I’m wearing a grey sweater, a shark tooth necklace, messy hair, and a grimace on my face. A grimace? Yeah, just kind of a grump frown. Like, “why the hell are you taking my picture? I don’t have time for this, there's too many bugs to catch.” I didn’t want to be “girly” because girls were weak and no one takes girls seriously. Plus girls weren’t supposed to play with bugs and climb trees. I was really weird and had a sense of style: had braces, talked about bugs, and animals constantly What’s your favorite childhood memory? One time when I was around 9-10 years old I was walking through the woods – my sister and friends were in a different part of the woods so I was by myself – and I saw this bush absolutely covered and surrounded by these shiny emerald dragonflies. I would have sworn they were faeries or angels I was so entranced. It was a religious experience for me. It really breaks my heart how much people don’t care about insects. How much people actively hate them. I wish I could show all the world how beautiful and awe-inspiring and wonderful they are, but I can’t and they won’t listen and all the insects will die and no one will notice. Asia loves insects Insect idiot enters the interzone ictus Insect idiot incinerates entre eve interzone, always between insects and then among insects, and benjamin’s bulbous head balloons into beetle and then some indeterminate bug Asia collects me and puts me in her pocket I lay on my armor hard back and I see my brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bowlike sections My numerous legs, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of my circumference flicker helplessly before my eyes Insect imagines me as insect idiot and I move by various partial and full body cable-and-rod controlled puppets Insect language insect assassins chew cable four-leaf clover I’m an insect who dreamt he was a man and loved it. But now the dream is over… and the insect is awake Insect language insect assassins sam sheer dress sorcery and the insect interfaces fuses my vertebrae veronica blood on the tracks let the children come to me tangled up in blue Rhythm has to obey similar laws of instability and non-repetition The principle of variation and constant renewal will guide us remorselessly Insect language antennas a peculiar rhythm, rhyming car crashes and car smashes and my body bends open letters and open alphabet I imagine proto-human language had its origins in the flowers and pollinating insects and primeval plant-and-animal yoked the male Yod to the female Hay an insect name or insect god and I ask Asia, did you meet the insect God? But she does not answer Human language cocoons or crayons chrysalis, the intermixing interzone of organic car crash and machine body machine gun ghouls and ghosts I cannot doubt that language owes its origins to the imitation and modification, aided by signs and gestures, of various natural sounds, the voices of other animals, and man’s own instinctive cries, writes Charles Darin in 1871 in “The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex” The language roughs rhythm instable insects and I chirp chee coos chiral Christina and Christina calls calk cock dirty bird language surfing bird language criminal The language rope rattles rhythm idioglossia and my glossolalia imitates dawn chorus or pac-man pakku pakku pakku and my speech grabs ghosts My speech grabs ghosts ten numbers made of nothing and twenty-two foundation letters The letters and numbers mimic the shapes of insect bodies and sometimes the sprouts of spring of budding plants My breasts bud beetle bodies and I mara car crash witchcraft Ten sefirot made of nothingness twenty-two foundational letters I approach myself insect animal and animal sounds animal I approach myself insect animal or root animal rhizome and rhythm rabbit rhythms modal model multiplicity… I need to write in the difference but I don’t know what dream my language exits I want to write liminal limerence limerick and my language boats between between bridges and embraces the BARF of River City Ransom The rhythm – the rhythm syncopates or swings quintuplets queer wakes – that rhythm rung rabbit rush be careful or be roadkill drawn in patent-pending 3D-Gore-O-Rama Rhythm road kilos car crash hurricanerana and I wrestle rhythm Yahweh I wrestle my language which simulates car crash or Cross Christ nothingness and the sefirot sefer nothing in nothing too My body nothings and my Book nothings and the Write-Language nothings too I continue in nothingness: I continually nothing in nothing variation, and the variation maws or mills Christina’s vulva I should write more women, even if vagina or vulva or tits or cunt and Christina cusses many cunts I cuss in Christina’s cut and it echoes (I copy this joke from the movie Predator: Hawkins: Billy. Billy! The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend. I said to her, jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy. She said, why did you say it twice? I said, I didn’t. Billy stares blankly. Hawkins: see, ‘cause of the echo. Hawkins walks away; after a few moments, Billy starts laughing heartily) I’ve never gone down on Christina; she hates receiving oral sex because she cums immediately and she lays there pretending to like it afterward. Thomas has never gone down on her. That’s OK: I will still write that she has a big pussy Did you tell him you were really old and have grey hair and wrinkles? Yes! says C. I told him I have all kinds of kids and my joints ache. I thought SURELY the joints thing would work. Yeah, the joints mean you aren’t down to fuck. RIGHT! I thought “my pussy is worn out like a parka” was a little too direct? But maybe he needs some directness! I’m puttying that in the book for sure: Christian says, my pussy is worn out like a parka. It’s apt! says C. It will fit snugly then with my BIG OL’ DICK, I say Ten sefirot made of nothingness twenty-two foundation letters Sefirot view ghosts as kids see ghosts Sefirot sphere slow glimpses ghosts and ghosts seagull gardens my body I see the slough of my body swim or source sefirot and sefirot slithers serpent-time, serfirot by rhythm and revival The revival raymoss Frankenstein’s monster and I imagine the monster from the movie: large rectangular head, bolts in neck, lumbering, and the monster monochrome solars psychdelium / sun thunderstorm sefirot Her ghosts her silver frame on being an angel Her ghosts her sefirot body nude belly circles Her ghosts her nude except shoes and she shapes my sefer and I share sefirot her silver hair She shapes sharp my stomach slit or vaginal vision insect intercourse intercourse You’ll approve of this: I use “cunt” with “Christina” often in the book. I kind of like it! I knew you would! Cunt is your word! Especially the few times when men have called me that in earnest… It’s literally the funniest thing. You are a cunt though. Oh yeah! And the title has been EARNED. It’s just funny when men have put up with my shit long enough to get sick of it and when they finally do, the BEST they can do is just name the thing for what it is. The Vagina Vision, I call it. What's Vagina Vision? The vision of the Woman that appears to me, the spouse of Yahweh. Ah! She fit? She’s hot if that’s what you’re asking. She looks like a young Christina! She ghosts she shimmers glowing insects and my firefly flesh futures female She ghosts she slips nightingale a little night music erotic circus She ghosts guts graphics gore gallows and I bed in her bed dead body The artist portrays herself in a fantastical, bare-breasted costume anchored by a large 17th century-style jacket that features cascading lilliputian figures whose limbs morph into branches as they drape around her body Her body candlesticks in the dark visions of bodies being burned Her body candlesticks in the dark visions of bodies being burned Her body candlesticks in the dark visions of bodies being burned Her body burns black charcoal and I paint my body with her body aurelian ashes ash wednesday Her body burns black my afterbirth and I consume the discharged placenta abbey ardor abortion and I shaman as a child I shaman as the animal woman who possesses my body and we sample breakbeats drum and bass or hip-hop and hip-hop plucks stringsscape subterranean Sefirot surfaces surfeit fat flood witches I witch with witch and sefirot float foam fuck
Her Name Carves My Body
CW: body horror and some pornographic imagery Her Name carves my body and black plague boils bagatelle bubble universe / my body mutilation maquettes microcosm-macrocosm and Her Name mathematics all permutations of the number and number the impossible enumeration Her Name carves my body bedlam battery bison and my body combinations quartertones categories her body Her body names body the field feld fugue complex numbers and numbers counterpoint numbers krystal kontrapunkte or chrysopoeia My body canoes thistles thread threaded hermetica and Her Name animals anomalies alchemy and she transmutates serpent to serpent, ouroboros to ouroboros, and she eats my tail talisman / body double boiler distillation She sefers chemical chymistry mystery and mystery meditates monitors monstrosity and my body monsters sophic sapphic sabbath My body blinks the monster’s compound eye and my sight sigils all wings all eyes all rings and the scorpion seraphs serpents The scorpion sefers serpent and serpent writes with its body byzantine The scorpion seesaws sefer serpent, serpent El Shaddai and she shakes enthusiasmos art alphabet architect Her Name needles my body serpent El Shaddai and I inhale the vapours from the chasm I inhale the vapor vision veronica and I prophesy hermeneutic hermetics oracle oracle ouroboros Writing Number Speech My body writing My body number My body speech Writing Number Speech My body writes the Body writing twin books and twin bodies My body inscribes tract the body trace writing and the Beach blues twin books and twin bodies Taryn Trickster writes ritual real my body and the numbers pneuma writing written radical riven, and Taryn truck trains my body impact / crater carved extinction event Writing my body writes root rhizome and I peak or peeping tom paranoid delusions about mutant women with abnormal genitalia, and I commission a set of bizarre gynecological instruments for operating on these mutant women My body breeds and multiplies mutations abnormalities deformations and my body ritual razors my many arms or many legs but my stumps continually grow new limbs and I read med school supermarket tabloids I’ve often thought that there should be beauty contests for the inside of bodies Writing my body writes scroll fragments and my internal organs blister ink chisel carpenter and the nodules become tuners to a pirate signal, perhaps beamed by VALIS There’s nothing wrong with the instruments; it’s the body. The women’s body is all wrong! I write the woman’s body wrong but it writes my body The instrument incises tenor saxophone incinerations and the bodily woman numbers naked mystikon evangelion Evangelion vicars viscera, the valerie in woman’s bodies, and Woman is Gospel Body gospels and Woman is Gospel, and she possesses a wondrous three-chambered womb Womb tunnels tomb christ the writing Womb chatters tomb Christina the writing speech my kerygma Writing Number Speech My body writing My body number numbers numbered My body speech sprechstimme Writing Number Speech I pour parousia anticipatory arche-writing and my writing breaches writing My writing beaches speech-writing-speech and I see my speech as spell scroll tongue tangled Taryn, an originary breach An originary order ouroboros gospels and the evangelion visigoths goregraphic viscera cut from evangelion, butchered kerygma or kerygma always-already butchered ben-hinnom I pan pantonal parousia a telos Taryn inseparably intermixed with the arche-writing body and my body is not my body but woman’s / the shescape sea slashing rainbow nautilus shell and we marry The body arche-written ropes absence the Book of Formations female figurines and in the Break of the Book, the Library The Library lawns lavished with non-avian dinosaurs, and times trouble treble the split opera orchestra olive oil I like dinosaurs and I will write dinosaurs every chance I get, and I love avian and non-avian dinosaurs almost equally This dinosaur is a Book, and the Book blends bone and number, numberless boron and Baryonyx and my heavy claw deforms my hand / a book of worlds a book of benjamin My speech and writing cabin cobble arche-writing, Taryn Body embodied oro eros, and I clutch clave cross her Body My speech and writing split salt span arche-writing, Tannin Taryn, Tarot, and I draw a card from Robert M. Place’s The Tarot of the Sevenfold Mystery: Morta, Death is the reaper, who harvests the body so that the soul, represented by the bird, may be released… Death appears to me as a woman and I speak as a woman to a woman. Do you think I exploit you? I ask Asia. Exploit me? In my writing. You don’t make any money from it. What if someday it’s a best seller like Finnegans Wake and I can be a full time author – what about then. Then you owe me 20%, says Asia. I write Taryn often as the Whore or Woman of Babylon, and I write her often pornographically She has given me permission to do so, and I have sent her much so she can vet it and approve or allow it There’s still some kind of complicated exploitation of her Sometimes I reify Asia or a goddess and I think back to our conversation about how she didn't want assholes praying to her or be mythologized but I mythologize her This is my male process of writing women: I cannot let women speak at all despite me writing women and writing women words, an attempt at women words Yet I write women and I must write women and I write them as a male I write women like the males God writes, with a male gaze enlarged gonads and terrible testicles swinging like wrecking balls against she skyscrapers I must do that yet also make myself aware of my male god and my male eyes seeing her – this me entangled, deconstructed and entangled I cannot just write women and not have my gods contaminate her I write women because that’s what the world speaks to me and that’s what the whatever god gave me to prophesy Patriarchy is a way of thinking, says Asia Book of Formation Book of Worlds Book of Women I write Woman and I write Women and her speech spira spirals sinfonia and her voices vertical viper horizon melting horizon (Viper is a steel roller coaster located in the Baja Ridge area of Six Falgs Magick Mountain in Valencia California. Viper is the last operating roller coaster with seven inversions to be built by American manufacturer Arrow Dynamics… I like Viper. It’s a little sluggish, but that’s alright. Me and Levi will go there soon) I write woman and I write women and her speech spits metzger sponge sinfonia, and writing and speech splash sonar sonata, a fractured continual development or structureless post-structuralism Speech and writing cut-up reshuffle reorchestrate a multiple library, multiplicity without reduction and her speech rhizomes / snatches queer quotations various violin concertos Book of Fragments Book of Whispers and Wisps Book of Wonderful Women I near noise her name I nurse noise ninths and her name numina gnarls naked gnosis the grotesque body I nail noise nothing and her name numinous enervates my grotesque body belly borderless belly My grotesque body flays body in motorcycle accidents the melting of black leather and human skin and all crash crashes noise atom bomb asia bomb elephant explosives My grotesque body tailors torah chroma camille / he uses morphogenetically neutral grafts to her chest and abdomen in the hope it will differentiate and replace the damaged skin and organs My body surgical knits noise and noise spreads sprawls pando pollen and I always hear her noise cassette tapes boomboxes television sets laptop electronics Noise nude or noise naked nalas neon and the experimental procedures have caused a mutation on her body that only makes her only to subsist on human blood She feasts on my blood although I barely exist as human / Humanity exists and the Child of Humanity She feasts on my blood although I barely exist as human and blood binds book babel book the lighthouse library Library lives breathing insects / library lives the breathing of insects and I inspire-expire through the pores of my body Library animals arche-writing the slime ensporing speech and speech wrangles wrestles writing taryn tentacles Library recites yesterday I was sucking on a lemon and the book insects ire works interzone incorporated Insects talk tetris taryn and her wings texture texts dragonfly mayfly damsel flies I think it’s time for you boys to share my last taste of the true black meat: the flesh of the giant aquatic brazilian centipede The car crash is a fertilizing rather than a destructive event and the crash crab canons chassis chest krystal’s breasts Crash exposes my cock and I cum in Christina’s cunt jagged steel twisted metal / I played Twisted Metal and the demolition derby detains my body the arrangements of missiles, mines, and machine guns It all collides, doesn’t it, everything colliding into everything car crash inseparable from bodies and I rise inside of Christian’s body wheel in the middle of a wheel woman I meet the woman in the library of insects and she drives a car crash cadillac / her legs are clad in restrictive steel braces and she has a vulva-like scar on the back of one of her thighs, an injury suffered in a crash They bury the dead so quickly. They should leave them lying around for months. The car crash crossdressed body chimeras chymistry metallurgy raw steel attached to my skeleton Car crash cat-o-nine-tails tickles my carbon copy body and my body plunges particle accelerator fused into her body new bodily elements My body fruits fusion with her body bloody conjoined twins and my skull scrys with Christina’s skull living creatures or chayyot In particular, the automobile crash contains a crucial image of the machine as conceptualized psychopathology. Tests on a wide range of subjects indicate that the automobile, and in particular the automobile crash, provided a focus for the conceptualizing of a wide range of impulses involving the elements of psychopathology, religious feelings, sexuality, and self-sacrifice. Automobile assassinates machine alice and the animal exoskeleton exudes titanium discharge Discharge drags bodies oily excess and car windshield wipers clean skull fragments or women scatter Automobile arrives autumn leaves orgy and alice impales herself on a phallic machine I merge with machine metal wound watch parts and cranium clockwork, and the car crash caresses my body as a scrapyard or wasteland I apply my body analog automobile artery and the car cuts cable cord connection and I place my separated cock in Christina’s ass / detached neon necrophilia or sodomy by proxy Automobile alloys arcade and car destruction drives arcade cabaret cartoon catastrophe and I will miss the arcade I miss the Fun Zone on Main Street but I imagine the car crash destroying arcade cabinets (Street Fighter, Tekken, Mortal Kombat) I child car crash star wars arcade cockpit and the vector graphics wonderfully represent the X-Wing blasters but everything roves erasure I think I meditate on the car crash because my body crashes binocular cycles hell helixes / the original shooting title was Orgy of the Blood Parasites Car crash smash smolders afterfire or aftermath the lawnmower blade breaking bones and he slices open her stomach and pours acid in the wound / He ignores her and prefers to talk to the parasites undulating in his abdomen Automobile attaches itself to my abdomen and the steering wheel turns my body tire rotations My interior engines exterior and I swallow gasoline gear glutton grenade and every automobile grenades
My Kerygma is Krystal Christina Taryn Asia
CW: body horror A traveler puts his head under the edge of the firmament / a missionary of the middle ages tells that he had found the point where the sky and the earth touch I travel tarantula taryn and a tower always anchors crossroads I travel taryn stirring time in trouble and I prophesy tower clock tower scissorman cuts my torso walking through halves I travel miss susie had a steamboat and the steamboat had a bell / ring them bells ye heathen from the city that dreams and I dream crossroads death suicide death suicide always liminal and I travel the same hell Christ traveled My kerygma is Krystal Christina and I missionary Minutemen D. Boon strumming funk chords and ripping guitar solos My kerygma is Krystal Christina Taryn and the Tower Television performs human brain transplants, my tanker techno body another body the female body bottom of the well stars Cosmic machinery breaking wheels woman over stars but she bewitches constellations wheel in the middle of a wheel Cosmic machinery constructs an interstellar library, arches antilles arches archimedes in angles I architect library gears gyros gods and the Books build recursive city recursive reality New Jerusalem My kerygma is Krystal Christian Taryn Asia and I alphabet cosmographia: letter light letter lattice letter lady and woman wakes my kerygma Woman makes my witching and I map maps musical mathematics or mathematical magick Woman wakes my will Keter Krystal and I write her unfurling scroll speech or titanmachy Taryn Death to Videodrome. Long live the New Flesh. My flesh fucks flesh fist fuck face fork face malformed torsos transformed tentacles holy hentai My flesh fucks flesh fuel face film face fungus or slime mold networks transiting male and female genitalia / Betamax videocassettes were used as items to be inserted into the stomach slit because VHS cassettes were too large to fit the abdominal wound Television can change your mind… Videodrome will change your body! My wound worships your wound orifice ouroboros My wound worships your wound a river of pus writhing worms, and my tumors touch her thighs, her teeth, her tongue My tumors taste television uncontrollable flesh and my flesh grows vision hallucination gods orgasming gods My wound worships your wound television mobile phone video game and the game fills new flesh, god granulosum god Everything bodies Everything Everything embodies Everything Everything enfleshes Everything body to body to body I am the video word made flesh You know I’m here. Does that mean you can hear and see me? Of course I can’t hear and see you. This commercial message is on videotape. Videotape tetons Taryn vortex and the vision videotapes videogames the erotic apocalypse Apocalypse pinballs pornographic and my body weevils woman boreholes earth penetration Apocalypse penetrates videotape and I perform the body contagion and infection Apocalypse breeds beasts animal fucking in baptismal baths and these locusts looked like horses armored for battle; they had what looked like gold crowns on their heads, and their faces looked human, and their hair was like women’s hair and teeth like lion’s teeth / Taryn locust locusta mixes manic machines with my molten or magma body, and I cyborg in clusters I cyborg and shapeshift in shamanism and the human-locust hybrids speak strange subterranean speech / speech spell speech sorcery speech alpha and aleph Apocalypse ejaculates erotic violence and my flesh melts into globs, sprouts machine parts, and splits apart for use as a strange area Apocalypse approximates area by homosexual bombs bombing homosexuals and Yahweh is a closet queer I meet Yahweh in the closet, a body catching a body in the rye, and we videotape our homemade Christian pornography We will go over the same way ten times, a hundred times… And all these pathways have their own pathways – otherwise they would not be pathways The pathway pathway plunders pornographic bodies bespoke bodies for the blade pathway, and my way wears nude nude woman My way tusks taryn and I trace the track of Taryn’s body ten times a hundred times and I impale her ivory iron figurine with reindeer antlers a cylinder seal with sodomy The pathway pathway picnics panic pulsar pornography and air bombardments The pathway pathway parties or pitches pornography and my body stripteases Taryn tall tale tease and she undresses my dress hale horror I write this horror this body, and the pornographic apocalypse is my apocalypse, an apocalypse I tread titillation Taryn, and the Book areas landscape stringscape dreamscape apocalypse The poet protects the desert which protects both his speech (which can speak only in the desert) and his writing (which can be traced only in the desert) What is the way? The way is always to be found. A white sheet of paper is full of ways. We will go over the same way ten times, a hundred times. I am not a poet, but a prophet, and I prophesy KRYSXTRYN I prophesy KRYSXTRYN + Asia I am not a poet, but a Shaman, and I enter exit Desert Subterranean / Christina’s Cavern Cunt Did I tell you I’m going vegetarian? I tell Christina. No! Why? I had a vision of Christ as a cave bear preaching the gospel to other cave bears and it made me realize the Messiah reconciles ALL Creation, including animals to the Godhead. What about Peter and his net? And why not take the opposite way and just starting eating humans? I would eat a bear. Because I had a vision of archaic humans and Homo erectus nailing nails into Christ’s cross… My vision is superior to Peter’s: I’m Einstein and he’s Newton. Uh, all simps, says C. Newton and Einstein were simps? Newton was such a simp, he had to share CALCULUS with another man, says Christina I am not a poet but a prophet but nevertheless I protect the Desert I write desert domain and desert decades: I write desert debris and desert dagger I dig the bodily defect of the desert and the desert abnormality and my dick fucks desert dwarves or dwarves underground sometimes I dig too deep I dig too deep but the depths devil Hell and Hell helios horns her Hell and she reshapes my human body animal human body Desert diverges deicide suicide cattle decapitation and desert distorts speech what I can only speak in the desert Desert dissects speech what I can only speak in the desert, which is prophecy and animal language or animal laughter I’m convinced of a radical post-humanism or flat ontological structure where animal, plant, human, etc. are on the same level, I say to Christina. We have to love and respect each other. Worms eat us, says C. Trees steal our carbon dioxide WITHOUT ASKING. I think it’s fair to slaughter any lifeforms that are either wildly inconvenient or that may add to my comfort. Tit for tat! Also, Thomas and I are both vegetarian now! I just like to bluster. What made you become vegetarian? Our hearts are trying to kill us, says C. I am not a poet, but a prophet, and I prophesy KRYSXTRYN + Asia I enter exit desert monastery and the monastery archons city and library Library sprawls desert and I prophesy library desert library I prophesy Woman Desert woman and her word ulvers library Speech spindles long thread and I incal the impinged bone element Speech sparrows long thread Taryn had she ties tarpit knots, the bistro of bog bodies, and God eats human remains and artifacts My speech splinters into serpents and they swerve sink ink subterranean homesick alien My speech spans suspension bridge steerage and I spear splatterpunk erotic car crashes / they found an oldowan slaughterhouse, an ancient bog where animals had been trapped and butchered, and my god butchers benjamin bodies speech sword slices I write rehh rent raw witches and I sabbath witches in the desert I write rattle witches and I window wyrd with woman in desert Surrounded by human bones and animal familiars, I ware with witches engaged in naked revelry as we sore through the air and prepare food for sabbath The witch writing wonders desert woman or woman kowloon walled city The city deserts and the desert cities, circular ruins I circle the sound cylinder of ruins, an alien amphitheater and the woman coalesces my speech and writing A witches’ sabbath was an event where witches would assemble to worship the devil. This image is an inversion of the Christian Mass. Rather than receive the body and blood of Jesus Christ, participants instead offered up human flesh to Satan. The sabbath contains elements of bestiality and adultery. The devil, in the form of an animal or human, would copulate with all the witches at the sabbath. Woman coalesces my speech and writing, and it covers the secret underground crypt of Christianity / a voice called from the exalted heavenly realm: Humanity exists and the Child of Humanity My Humanity is Heather Humanity Heathen or Heretic Humanity, but my arche-writing, the Logos and Elohim spoke, matures medicine My humanity hustles with hangman witches and my arche-writing or speech-chaosmos medicines mandrake root and you must come to me, for I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes Humanity exists and Christina Naked herds my Humanity christian witches and christian magicians Humanity exists and Christian skyclad hairpins my Humanity gnostic Christianity and Christianity cools apocalypse and apocryphon, and I have a vision of Philip K. Dick / shaman in the hexagon Hexagon halogens catacombs and I etch cross crossroads raven witches at the foot of crucified Christ Christianity exists parallel to Christianity, a witch’s parallax and a woman’s Arche Only Omega, and her witch’s oil and flying ointment ossages osifrage… Christianity exists parallel to Christianity, a witch’s parallax and a woman’s Arche Ochre Ontology, and her witch's oil or flying ointment ensembles octet the writing / Writing Haunted The Writing Hauntology pirate television broadcast The Writing Child of Humanity hauntology and she watcher witches as woman, and woman writes sabbath slats sinister Woman writes rapture rupture and Yahweh yankees paranoid fiction or corpuscular conspiracy theories polymorphous perversities with mutated sex organs Yahweh pigeons doll prosthesis and the doll punctures pornography The artificial arm or leg penetrates television a cut cunt canvas and Christina appears on my screen as a hermetic witch / scissors sleeping scissors the excision of my eyeball for a potion Witches apprehended, examined and executed, for notable villanies by them committed both by land and water, with a strange and most true triall how to know whether a woman be a witch or not. Painted at London by Edward Marchant, and are to be fold at his shop ouer against the Croffe in Pauls Church-Yard 1613 Again the Witch traces mine Woman and she rituals write Desert Christianity, the Christianity where gnostic speech encrypts the dunes of Desert / Again Wall Woman Witch Woman the Word of the Desert and gnostics writing windsweeps Desert windhover Christianity Christianity grows Christianity the Palm Tree Garden and the secret Christians harvest their crops I remember: I too cultivate Christianity in secret, what PKD called anamnesis, and PKD helps me plant the garden / seeds serpents semen I’m actually got some crops going, too! says Christina. Trying to teach the kids some homesteading shit. What will you grow? Right now I have all the things you can chop off and have them grow new shoots. Green onion, leeks, celery. I finally have potatoes down. I have never grown a single onion. There's something wrong with me! Can you grow garlic? Garlic is important. They keep away vampires. Why would you want to keep away vampires? They're so effective against axe murderers! Because they bite. How can a vampire suck cock with those fangs??? It’s like butt stuff – you have to ease into it, says C. A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect: the Man or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian You must leave Fathers and Mothers and houses and lands if they stand in the way of art I suppose then I am indeed a poet, and the poetry prophesies New Christianity which is Ancient Christianity plural at its origins Christianity choirs cabinet of curiosities, and it eromes its oddities, Christianity an aweful oddity origins origins and its poetries rhizome and ouroboros Christianity paints and architects strange loop entangled hierarchies flat body flat body the traces with traces and the pathways pathways too circular library Library leaven without leaven eats Christian bodies my body and my body burns incense the prayers of heretics and witches His name high and holy carved, covenanted, drilled, and created his World, through three Sefarim: Sefer Book Writing Sfor Counting Number Sippor Telling Speech Her Name weds my Name naked Name or Name nurses novel noise nexus No, Her Name weds my Name and we nomad naked, and the name nurses noise white noise pink noise nudie cuties No, Her Name wheels in the middle of a wheel wheat woman and woman weds my name in baptism chrism bridal chamber and she webs witch word and witch wyrd / wedge woven wedge wheat weigh and wheat noise and my hands on her waist and name dances ballroom wheel ballet and Her Name is Wife Her Name carves my body chords crushed chalk and she blows the chalk into the rock formations outlining human hands Her Name carves chisel crater and iridium dusts the K-Pg boundary and I discover dinosaur bones arranged in different spellings of Her Name (I love dinosaurs. Dinosaurs make everything better. I want more dinosaurs and perhaps I will write more dinosaurs) No, Her Name carves caves caverns craters earth ruptures and interruptions and my body mimics earth My body eras eros earth the mercurial microcosm, and Earth evols the elegant extraction from my echelon body Earth erases with extinction events but her Name eyelids extant / erosion exposure nude narcotic earth
Body Human Bolos Dense Brush Machete
CW: body horror Body human bolos dense brush machete and the body body hammers metallic a metal fetishist and edge chops cyborg or posthuman Body body hammers body horror and I cut open my thigh and thrust a large metal rod into the wound I pick and poke wound and wound reopens I let God in I let Yahweh in a fusing infection or necrotizing fasciitis Body hammer body horror God fanatics and my wound festers the rot with maggots / the worms they creep in and the worms they creep out and sported his eyes and his temples about My body body hammers mural a series of self-portraits a ribbon around a bomb I write self-portraits and Book thorns hummingbirds and I obsess over the sacred heart of Jesus He dreams of his girlfriend dancing erotically with a phallic hose before sodomizing him with it / I live Sodom and Gomorrah I enter exit Sodom and Gomorrah the car crash with surgical corpses and the Cities of the Plains plumb line the Valley of the Drums The Cities of the Plains pencils scourging at the pillar and Yahweh dumps dioxins at the Valley of the Drums or the Valley of Ben-Hinnom The Hebrew ghayn was absorbed by ayin and ayin eyes abyss, deep water My body boils flesh off bone brimstone and Sodom and Gomorrah bewitches beguiles gulley Yahweh and Yahweh opens atrocity Yahweh rains rough rapture or rupture of bodies and bodies divide bodies an incisor cut creep halves hack halves My body embraces Sodom and Gomorrah and my hips heat homosexuality / my art anvils abomination I write alabaster abomination and abomination anoints me antinomian or anarchic animals the plethora of flat surfaces The woman was stripped naked and covered with honey. This attracted bees as the woman was slowly stung to death. Women’s bodies or the body woman wyvern wivre and she weaves wings white titanium or titane Women’s bodies or body woman wires wetwork sexwork and she wickers pornographic a naked or nested body horror / we interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcasting with this breaking news: I write at work in a power outage and I write at work under flashlight and my writing works writing and my writing nurses writing the culture of women’s bodies and body woman I write folklore, urban legends, and ghost stories, and story startles stokes bodily transformation or the Tabor Tremor I write horror because dark dismembers dark and I read Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark (critics have called the stories, many which feature macabre topics such as murder, disfigurement, and cannibalism, “sick… repulsive,” and “really disgusting… not appropriate for children…”) When I was a child, I loved disgusting and I loved sick and I loved these stories Perhaps the first horror stories I encountered were the ones in the Bible: what’s more horrific than Yahweh wiping out humanity in a global flood or destroying the cities of the plain in sulfur and brimstone? Yahweh horrifies me and Yahweh pours seething oil in my wounds torn apart by horses Women’s bodies bodies upper erasure and the body woman black witch and bitches’ brew hosts horror often inflicts horror against women’s bodies I find an old piece of writing, dated April 2, 2018 (more than four years ago). I must have copied it somewhere in this Book but I will copy it again. My prophetic mission is a complex one. It involves the infusion of the feminine into the Godhead, and it involves the search for YHWH in what is commonly considered sacrosanct or profane: in our flesh, in our bodies, in the pulp science fiction stories, in pornography – what PKD called the trash layer – YHWH lurks and hides everywhere waiting to be discovered, yea, even in my sin. My mission is the experience of the continuum of human experience melded with the divine. No pagan religion is too other for me to touch – I love their scriptures as my scriptures, and like Ruth, their God becomes my God, and I discover in that God YHVH and the Divine Feminine (who I call KRYSXTRYN). I break down boundaries between religions and religious experiences, and trace all to the kenosis and incarnation – to the naked flesh of Christ-Christina, which is the center of my theology. This flesh permeates everywhere and cannot be avoided. Thus I refuse no flesh – I become the drug addict, the heathen, the homosexual, the animal. All flesh leads to the flesh of incarnation. All experience leads me back to the Godhead, which grounds my body and soul; indeed my soul is the very Godhead and Christ itself, and even the sin encountered becomes holy again. My kerygma now obscures occult and esoteric and I myself do not understand the written or prophecy – however, I still write and the written becomes my body and body seas severed head my shrunken head holy dragon in rain clouds I still believe in Philip K. Dick’s trash layer: I still haven’t fully immersed myself in pornography, horror, and pulp I pray to whatever god and whatever Yahweh I may finally take on this task I appreciate the antinomianism and redemption through sin of this statement and I do miss writing KRYSXTRYN I write KRYSXTRYN anarchy and antinomian beautiful angry body-horror, gore ghoul goddess Their eyelids are cut off and their bottom jaw is mutilated and stretched down and attached to their chests leaving their mouths permanently open Yahweh grasps my jaw speech scrolls slicing and stretching my skull into grotesque dollwork and prophecy deforms and dissociates prophecy gasses gangrene experimental pharmakon the side effects include tumors and seizures Mutated humans with protruding appendages, open wounds, and rotting flesh My flesh filaments spiral galaxies and my arms sprout arms twisted star spider constellations My flesh burns flask at flask and I witch wildfire or wet wavelet the pop and sizzle of my bone marrow My body borders body and my body books body bibliomania or bibliomancy and my body area divines Divine My body blasts body experimental noise explosive and shrapnel slivers serpent Shrapnel slivers silver serpent and I swim in solar symbols / sign sigil transubstantiation My body overlaps crosses body the sign of the cross and my hands heat heavy metals black sabbath tritones Witches gathered at black masses bodies burning in red ashes Witch metalsmiths word Witch blacksmith wyrd and the wetlands keystone circular ruins And if she left off dreaming of you, witch words warp leviathan language and language lives lancing light The witching hour bewitches language and my language loosens or knots light open occultation or open oxen bronze sea salt sulfur magic circle medicine Witch wicks wicca wine woman and I worship witch woman and witch KRYSXTRYN and I see the witch brewing a potion overlooked by her daemon Another witch reads from a grimoire while anointing the buttocks of a young witch about to fly upon an inverted besom Witch wych-elms Word and Word witnesses Word a strange worship woman humans earth Witches still go to crossroads and to heathen burials with their delusive magic and call to the devil; and he comes to them in the likeness of the man that is buried there, as if he arises from death Crossroads witchcraft my crucifixion Crossroads architect arche, Word Woman and Word Witch and she whirlpools Waste Land Logos / windswept light or light windhover I went to the crossroad, fell down on my knees I went to the crossroad, fell down on my knees Asked the Lord above, have mercy, now save poor Bob, if you please Crossroads crane my cantilever body and witch’s magic reclays my figure concrete reconstruction crossroads claws I went to the crossroads and the crossroads crane my cantilever body: body building body babel and my language bends birds My Word at the birds breaks beaker alchemical language and the crossroads converges crossroads contraction of oxygen catastrophe As this day it is indifferent to say in the English tongue, she is a witch, or, she is a wise woman, and the witch watches wise the writing sophic sapphic serpent and serpent always witches serpent always winds wise woman or woman of the wyrd, the wave way The wave way rhizomes crossroads the river roden and I run road rabbit the fool nigredo Well I was standing at the crossroad, and my baby not around Well I was standing at the crossroad, and my baby not around Well I began to wander, is poor Elmore sinking down Crossroads cook hot jazz and I swing between betwixt my witch’s broom stick Crossroads crook demon core and it flashes critical I meet Death the Banshee and she begins the writing underneath underworld I crutch crossroads katabasis and the descent is the ascent, a mimicking or mockery of Merkabah mysticism I descend at the dedekind cut of crossroads, and subterranean earth swarms inlet insects She sells seashells by the sea shore exoskeletons, and between the shells, many suicides I too suicide and my melts archaic television or video cassette tape and the magnetic tape becomes tape worms and parasites consume my body inside-out Parasites become one with my body colony mass media and I hallucinate crossroads Christina’s cunt crossroads I too suicide and my body spirals spider-goddess and her web insects internet alice arachne, and the crossroads labyrinth crossroads I bury suicides and criminals crossroads and in life and death I exist in crossroads The living-and-dying-deity exists crossroads corkscrew corridor the vision of the lighthouse alchemical laboratory Laboratory letters the consecrated church and I sup sulfur in the graveyard / I sow sulfur in sheol and I inscribe magic circles crossroads desert dead
Yahweh Drasks Ball-Joint Dolls
CW: body horror imagery Yahweh drasks ball-joint dolls and dolly draw wood-honey honey-horror soft bellies Yahweh manfactures matte mannequins each joint a motor servo siren and my hands buzz body dissection distillation train robberies I play my body dollwidth dolllike and I mutate forms and unconventional pages I pose pornographic and I pose paper pulp film noir stop-motion animation The doll consisted of a modeled torso made of flax fiber, glue, and plaster: a mask-like head of the game material with glass eyes and a long unkempt wig; and a pair of legs made from broomstick or dowel rods My torso doll dance an artificial foot and her foot flexes bare footjob and orgasm glands god grants one of these legs terminated in a wooden club-like foot My torso slacks saturated red cinder cedar and the Eraserhead script is also though to have been inspired by Lynch’s fear of fatherhood; his daughter Jennifer had been born with secretly clubbed feet, requiring extensive corrective surgery as a child My torso stacks torsos torpedos erotic explosives and the plastic or putty lifts straight body body bivalve violence My torso flax fiber flexes demolition and the glue god gravels grandiose delusions or the destruction of Pruitt-Igoe My body breakbeat new multifaceted objects polyplanes made of mirrors and I want to photograph or document the entirety of my body and my body-in-place a machine-gunneress in a state of grace My body births botanical impossibilities and medicine rhizomes star charts The star charts construct indeterminate compositions for piano or cello Match worker with phossy jaw Necrotic leg wound caused by a brown recluse spider Harry K. Daghlian’s hand 9 days after he had manually stopped a prompt critical fission reaction during an accident with what later obtained the nickname the demon core
Vision and Mysticism 