Write Ugly

These the hidden sayings that the Living Jesus spoke and Judas Tomas the Twin recorded

Sayings gospel cinder sorcerer     I say sanctuary sorcerer     I say sorcerer sanctuary sketches / sketch sensual syntax     Stream syntax sayings sayings holy spirit (Sometimes I want to demolish my syntax altogether     I want to destroy my sense into nonsense     I feel nonsense     I ear no syntax and nonsyntax     John Cage critiques Finnegans Wake: despite all its semantic inventiveness, it preserved syntax     John Cage thus took chance operations to Finnegans Wake also deconstructing its syntax     I fear I attach myself too much to semantics and cohesion and I will be unable to reinvent or repeat the syntax rhizomatically)

(I feel too attached to the outcome and not enough to the progress / process)

There the hidden sayings

Nothing accomplished by writing a piece of music     Nothing accomplished by hearing a piece of music     Nothing accomplished by playing a piece of music / spontaneous unpredictable     Spontaneous unpredictable different languages

Summer silence / he considered his work on transfinite numbers to have been directly communicated to him by God

Unsatisfied with this writing – what to do how to write no stretched strophe alphabet but incomplete syntax     Attack syntax     Attack anthrax syntax     Attack anthrax syntax synthetic

Look     Listen     Labyrinth: the these hidden sayings vision itself verbs     listen later latter     listen later ladder latter rain / pentecostal forest fire     pentecost pike arson / ada ardor hidden sayings

Look bereshit brings sheaves hidden sayings, the these sayings birth bereshit, always beginning middle, motioning middle my motion middle body     I feel my body wheel of fortune     I fan my body tarot wheel of fortune TARO ROTA TORA     I fan strange fire my body torso tarot wheel of fortune and her wheel in the middle of a wheel bereshit WOMAN hidden sayings

Hidden sayings noise noise bereshit bereshit     I breath breach     I breath beach break     breath breach break beach     Beach blends bends blues beach (My brain has been mush, says Asia.  I just come home and check out… Well actually I have been cuddling on the couch watching Bluey with Adelaide.  She sits on my lap with a big soft blanket and drinks apple juice.  That’s sweet – what’s Bluey?  Bluey is a cute show.  I’m so happy I found free episodes on YouTube.  Otherwise I would need Disney Plus)

My brain bluey bereshit boat beaches     brain bluey bereshit row row row your boat blanket beaches     beaches burst hidden sayings     beaches burst blues beaches brew hidden sayings

Jesus says present tense percussion     Vibraphone vocoder vision present tense Taryn

Open scores that require the performer to interpret them

I’ll play it and tell you what it is later

Play performs platform     Play partakes participates     Play performs paranoid android androit water droplets dropkick woman     I’ll play and I play trivial pursuit pursue nylon pantyhouse long leg poetics / after all, that's what we did – came in and cooked     Play simultaneous stream-of-consciousness geological strata B52 stratofortress

He plays the other way sometimes

He plays the other way sometimes and I play other interior     Other text innards heterodox     heterodox hex happenings happen house horror I play haunted     I play haunted other text intertextual gods     Dave Gibbon illustrates gods differently     Jack Kirby illustrates new gods gasoline     gumball gasoline alley

I play other poison possum platypus pharmakon / He plays around under nad over     I play underwear women modes mathematics     I play around ground garden of eden     around ground palm tree garden     palm tree garden plays pawn shop porno

I enter emma eden meditations     John Coltrane Meditations and First Meditations     I enter emma eden any meditations meditations meow murmur mammon eden     Mammon eden mermaids mothway / barn owl hooligans

I need more poetry     I need poetry similar to Julius Eastman’s organic music / slow changes chance open change

I meditate eden apotecary     meditate eden apothecary ideal chemistry     chymistry alchemy abstract     I abstract eden fun a few jars     I meditate eden beware winter music     beware winter music woman but I worship     Worship wear naked and worship Wilbur Ware playing over and under the chord changes John Coltrane sometimes loses his place     I lose my place play eden     Eden edge excite bike berry burnings

Notation in space maybe freely interpreted as to time

I time spurious space space invaders     I time species space space counterpoint space khora and cross     Khora and cross compact time time crush knot kinks

Notation in space speeds spaced flesh: flag flesh frag flesh fresh free     Free space plays haunted house hostage monopoly free parking     No notation but space and space spars pseudorandom, a candle these puddles after out slices lilacs eyelashes

Experiment eden     Experiment eden entrance eviction     Experiment eden erratic ensembles ugly Yahweh cherubim     Ugly genesis hemoptysis and I other eden under laying around abyss arenas

Experiment eden incomplete

Experiment eden incomplete energon cube hectic hexus hexes     I play around abyss asylum semi-silent     Winter music Christianity crutches me     Christianities crutch me orange crush     Crutch orange crush christianity recycles corrugated cardboard     Cardboard carbohydrates benjamin boreholes     Cornhole christianity corn on the cob     Popcorn Christianity microwave mullets

Wordplay Woman     Wordplay Woman wild warp revisionist western     Wordplay woman somewhere beware aware wall wasps     Wail wolverine wabash cannonball woman (I’m writing ugly writing and I’m not sure how I think about that.  If it makes you feel any better most of my writing today was just me complaining, says Asia Rain.  I have been thinking about syntax, I say.  I wrote that I’m too attached too semantics and sense, and not enough with progress and process… Syntax needs to be deconstructed in my work, but I’m also afraid of it being nonsense and incomprehension.  I think though I have to make the leap to faith and just do it.  Just fuck it up.  Make it ugly.  Sort it out later.  Trust the mess.  Yeah just play around with it, says Asia Rain.  It’s going to feel awkward and dumb but even if you get one good line out of it, it’s worth it, says Asia.)

Of course I leave in my awkward and dumb, partly out of laziness and lack of exciting, partly for sentimental attachment to even my ugly writing, and partly to document my ugly and messy creative process

Eden idiot eden imbecile imbecile implodes     imbecile implodes impossible iron eye iron eye igor igloo / iron ice     Iron ice femur frankenstein     Femur female frankenstein p-funk myth matriarch eden     Femur eden bone soup saline sea supper     Saline sea sin and sea washes severed feet bay of blood and twitch of the death nerve     I copy its kills for my low-budget slasher movie

Eden St. James Infirmary I went down     I went down to St. James Infirmary saw my baby there she was stretched out on a long white table so cold so sweet so fair     Eden bob Dylan’s Blind Willie McTell and I can tell you one thing nobody can sing the blues like Blind Willie McTell

Eden aleatoric     Eden aleatoric AMM sometimes I click shine certain stones secret sayings     I secretly say eden impossible infinite even primes     I secretly say eden seven hymns horror episcopal hymnal / down with the masterpieces, up with the art     Eden aleatoric essels espionage and I spy play as if playing played the gift

I listen to Microphones in 2020 by The Microphones constantly: I keep on not dying, the sun keeps rising, and Phil Elverum writes not-quite-stream-of-consciousness lyrics that evoke my ow nostalgia reflection contemplation archive     counterpoint copperplate eden     Phil writes his archive more effectively and for most efficiently than my archive: spend all day and night digging in distorted bass, spliced tape singing lines like: there is no end and I won’t look for you in my room about my friends     I don’t sing but ink Yahweh often often archive     ARCHIVE EDEN holographic universe and I feel sure PKD mentioned something like the gnosis-as-information store studies score scorpions scorpion godhead / I live in the surface on an unimaginable large black hole

There's no end no end eden eden prison

Eden interplays intersexual androgynous     Eden androgynous Christ I compose novel epistles     I compose epistles catholic machine gun kick underground comix    I compose messes elephant chords     Elephant gun chrome bodies chrome dream dry orgasms

Indeterminacy implies art as process:  no beginning no middle no end each new performance each new circumstance created a continually variable process / indeterminate Yahweh     indeterminate eden elohim immobile sion sirens siren conspiracy theories     Christina created various conspiracy theories a process piccolo parousia cheese [section cut out of embarrassment]

Alea eden eden alea elemen / aluminum pleroma     thumb pick plenum punctum donut eden     donut definition torus taryn     torus taurus taryn     torus turtle minor alea alternates ariadne eden     I explicit eden perpetual energy eden and eden repeats repetitive rhizome     eden repeats rhizome fugazi’s repeater     I meditate on eden and I contemplate eden order disorder organic chaos-invault and vault vermins vision     Vault vellums vision and vault violets violence vision     Immediately eden echoes     Immediately eden echoes energon cube emo revival and I listen to American Football     I listen all three of their self-titled LPs and I thrust gas pump nozzle middle-aged     I canteen contra collection middle-aged but middle-aged opens alligator appetite argon comic carbon monoxide (thirty-eight, older than I ever thought I’d live     I survive all my suicide attempts because Yahweh fire hose foams fucking terrified to confront me)

Arbitrary alea alicia allows doorway arrow and thus the alea compiles heaven and earth in all their array / Yahweh God plants a garden in eden, in east, and Yahweh puts the Adam eh fashions and eden urges emerges edom     Eden urges emerges Edom and Jacob Frank evols Christianity / bathroom bathtub baptism     My abrasions brush bathtub barbecue bacon fat fire baptism and eden / edom baptizes blood     Christianity conflict minerals blood diamond tenor tonality

Eden clarissa edom erupts interrupts interacts immanent eden immediately eden

Crooked Christianity Christianity nib creep creep Christianity horn crooks coke keystone and Krystal cabs cool campfire     Christianity cudgel chisel cauldron collect call Christianity 

I cling     I cleave cling cross cross and khora cross     I make a covenant with you, confession, circumcision, circumfession     Christianity alea eden alliance and alliance cuts counterclockwise weening woman     Woman at worship weeping woman     Christianity cuts clamshell concupiscence (the first time I heard the word concupiscence: Wallace Stevens Emperor of Ice Cream)

I cling     I cleave cling cross call the roller of big cigars and I hijinx kitchen cups concupiscent curds / corpses catholic cardinals     corpses catholic cardinals children’s street songs

I study under the Cross Henri Matisse studies with painter Gustave Moreau     Moreau morels rose cross prophesies: You will simplify painting… But you won’t simplify nature to that extent, to reduce it to that… If you did, painting would no longer exist… Don't listen to me, what you are doing is work important than I am telling you…  I am a mere teacher… I understand nothing     I simplify     I understand nothing     I simplify syriac serous isolated singularity     syringe essential singularity slapstick painting     slapstick painting color of blood and calvinist flesh