She lights the lights The Bridegroom goes to her The Tree of Life is upside down The illumination of the bride Whose light is Sarah
She lights the lights the bridegroom moves to her She lights the lights the tree of life is upside down She lights the lights the sun She lights the lights the illumination of the bride She lights the lights whose light is sarah She lights the lights she lights the lights
The light leech and the light lips
The light leech and the light lips kiss klang Light lips kiss klang catchweight word wobble Word wobbles drift catechism katabasis desert Rambunctious katabasis desert deluge
The light doubles light leech lips the severed lips of Elohim Lips cut lack Yahweh’s lips
The light leech and the light lips traces and I trace the lights cathedrals I trace lights churches cathedrals catechism catacombs / crow christians cricket christians crow locusts
An anthropological light An archaeological light light human Light human the fire of the real Real heterogeneity Heterogeneous human chaos
She lights the lights excess excrement Excrement exotic excess excessive earth / statics stressors straw dog heterogeneous
She lights the lights red lights district She lights the lights the lights red light district everything went no holds barred (I always return to the lights I look at the lights as a giant isolated eye I exist as an erotic eye I exist wholly as an erotic eye no earth the entirely earth Entirety earth my eye excretes uneven black blood excrement Bloody excrement black iron prison Bile black iron prison plays possum possessor ouroboros Bloody black iron prison playground
My eye inerrant scripture My eye erases scripture black coat white shoes black hat cadillac yeah the boy’s a time bomb My eye inerrant scripture the soft luminosity and urinary liquefaction of the sky My eye scripture
My eye scripture scratch acid Eye scripture acid apocalypse lights lips leeches and she lights the lights invisible eyes Lights archon eyes electric arcs scripture Eyes electric arpeggiators scriptures
(Fixity and mobility of the register as an alternative to harmonic dialectic in his second sonata)
Fixed and unfixed texts Textures mobile and immobile texts textures Texts as observers and actors
I recall what Olivier Messiaen said about the rhythmic personifications in his Turangalila-Symphonie: I imagine a theatrical scene. Here are three characters on stage [personages rhymiques, he called them]; the first is active and has the leading role in the scene; the second is passive, acted upon by the first; the third witnesses the conflict without intervening, being only an observer and not stirring. In the same way, three rhythmic groups are in action: the first augments (this is the attacking character); the second diminished (this is the character who is attacked); the third changes (this is the character who stands aside)
I feel obsessed with rhythm: I obsess rhythm I obsess bebop rhythm overlaps Messiaen rhythm overlaps the irregular and pulseless rhythm of total serialism (Khora klangfarbenmelodie Klangfarbenmelodie subterranean triceratops tetragrammaton) Unsteady rhythm – or rather, uneven rhythm Rhythm remember rhythm restless fragments Rhythm restless sentence fragments Fragment fuck rhythms Fuck fragment rhythm rhizome and rhizome wrestles
I feel obsessed with EXPERIMENT and LABORATORY Laboratory labyrinth she lights the lights no limit (If you didn’t go the limit you were considered a square!) I feel obsess rhythms I obsess rhythm obscure and rhythm occult / oculus cover covering cherub Covering cherub SMALL-TOWN CHIPPIE She used sex as a snare and she baited new traps, each with a sensuous caress (Confession: I never heard of the word “chippie” before Chippie unknown etymology first known use 1886 tramp, prostitute) (detectives wanted to talk to the chippies who were regulars at the bar – to learn if they had seen anything)
Laboratory rhythms Rhythm laboratory Rhythm rare red rock laboratory Chrono trigger taryn tetragrammaton / bull horn grammar jaw gores I need to study more rhythm I study more intense rhythms
She lights the lights the bridegroom moves to her I dream lights I dream lights bridal chamber language / languages and lights abandon me I repeat lights I repeat lights the lights but the bridal chamber burns bare supernal dark (something about Dark Souls lore / Thus began the age of fire. But soon the flames will fade, and only Dark will remain…) I experience dark and dark drives me Body sea of reed rushes Yahweh's preeminent darkness concealed by every light and hidden from every knowledge
I dream dark…
Dream dark… Dark dreams me dark
I dream dark…
I still fear bad and ugly writing Why do I fear Who the hell reads this (Asia but she encourages experimentation and views failure as a necessity) Nevertheless, in recent writing sessions, I feel too paralyzed to write extensively I feel stuck I don't know how to riff and improvise on texts and I don’t know how to combine and cohere multiple texts together I feel embarrassed by my lack of technique and my lack of depth I want everything to EXPLODE with energy and strong rhythm / aggressive accents and cedars of lebanon syncopation I don’t allow space or freedom for boredom or the ugly (I write this before and I write this again: I struggle with my own ego I wrestle with my ego I force myself to write: I submerge thrown thrust tenor writing Tenor saxophone improvisation writing)
Month: January 2024
Mixed Media Melancholy With Television Quotations
I survive my skull intact I survive my skull intact impact I survive my skull impact intact insect tesseract My skull I survive skull simply connected curves My skull skips record found footage survival diary o the dead ho-hum horror Survival horror my skull locust leave insect imprints rollerblade residue / skate punk cut body plow platypus multiple cuts I survive my body cut skulls skull as knife Skull ruby knife / masamune and mammon machine (the tree gurus made the Mammon Machine from the royal family’s red rock) My skull a ruby knife / it’s made from the same red stone as the mammon machine – with it you can destroy the machine!
I borrow from video game scripts from my childhood / The Mammon Machine modifies all energy Masumune absorbs energy I steal scripts my skull drags Metal Gear Solid snow My cranium kontaktes crack contact microphone chrono trigger I my brain boils diablo stabs skull castlevania vision I write slower video games and my skull drags snow then snow water why can’t I be snowing
Something like skull eye inlets island eye sockets Island eye imbeciles spiders making double reeds for their oboes Oboe sine wave oscillator ouroboros higgs boson Higgs mechanism missile monstrosities Something like a skull rayleigh scatters scattergories gory gods Gory gay gods sodom and gomorrah My eye traces nude gods masculine homoerotic haruspex speciation My skull soft luminosity My skull soft luminosity a urinary liquefaction of the sky
(Open sky kingdom of the skies skeleton crew Night shift skeleton crew an open midnight book Midnight movie an open midnight book)
Explicit photographs of sharks
Explicit photographs of wondrous sharks my skull contains midnights My skull spills dark My skull spills dark oil spill radio crackles spill down my face
Not concerned with a certain continuity or particular connection but the Book as the Blob (The more gory 1988 version) (The plot follows an acidic amoeba-like organism that crashes down to earth in a military satellite, which devours and dissolves anything in its path as it grows)
Book devours and dissolves and my skull melts skittles languages cranium candies
Silk bags filled with methyl cellulose
I think I’m a fucking idiot
My skill splatstick skins skull solstice sun jester The earth dies screaming The earth dies screaming my skull slow water surfaces
Shit writing shit twins
(When you’re thirteen, it’s a long way to Albuquerque. Teri told me about getting her learner’s permit, and taking her first drive with a stick shift. She wrote of our night at the beach. She told me she missed me so much that she cried herself to sleep at night. And she promised to write me, until we saw each other again. I keep that letter in an old shoe box. It was the only letter she ever wrote me…) (Wonder Years, Episode 24 “Summer Song”)
I feel melancholy and nostalgic I often feel flat and embarrassed to express my own emotions in writing and so I endlessly copy and quote other texts I copy video game scripts, television transcripts, endless music lyrics I don’t feel anything at all except perpetual melancholy, perpetual brain fields fanning melancholy The noxious nostalgia overwhelms me
(Teddy told me in Greek, “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from the old wound”. It’s a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship. It’s a time machine. It goes backwards, forwards. It takes us to a place where we ache to go again. It’s not called the wheel. It’s called the Carousel. It lets us travel the way a child travels. Around and around, and back home again… to a place where we know we are loved…) (Mad Men, Season 1, Episode 13: The Wheel)
I alienate myself from myself I avoid myself I long for a self that does not exist – not a nostalgic self but a self lost to Chrono Cross’s Dead Sea (a future denied of all existence because of a change in the past… A future that was destroyed even before it was born rests here… Condemned into the Dead Sea) I refuse to become a dead sea or cities of the plain I cannot let my melancholy and nostalgia sabotage me / my body bloated bloody by brimstones My body amen break red jewel jungle brimstone The writing heals so I write I write to heal the pain from an old wound Someday the wound will heal I remember the scar but it bends flexible and resilient Someday I find a voice beyond melancholy and nostalgia Not merely quotation and copy but true repetition
I don’t know but bebop had emerged and I saw it as a way out
My writing emerges SOMETHING ELSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT THE SHAPE OF PUNK TO COME (Writing as a way Writing as THE WAY) (It is an enigma for me. I cannot know it. I know that something speaks through me, a language that I don’t understand, that sometimes I translate more or less easily into my “language”)
I accept my melancholy as my own I accept my nostalgia as my own I decide to accept the texts and quotes as my own too – my writing and copying it, it becomes me and I write for the first time I write for the first time and every time
I accept the ugly and simplicity of my writing and I accept the pretentious messages and brash clash car crash comic absurdity Absurd arcade arcade projection isometric projection Absurd minimal maximal oscillator / trio for strings to the held for a long time
I dream chord chords king kong clusters the sound of the wind in the gaps of the Idaho log cabin I dream dream chords crag constellations continuous environmental sounds, particularly those of motors, power plants, and telephone poles
She lights the lights trio for strings She lights the lights almost entirely of sustained tones of rests / I embrace the lines as static compositions Static composition flicker structuralist film
She lights the lights midway upon the journey of our life I found myself with in a forest dark, for the straightforward path has been lost; nevertheless, she lights the lights
She lights the lights cartoon catastrophe Carton catastrophe quotations Quartertone quotations kaleidoscope micropolyphony / looney tune gestural music Looney tune gestural god gun opera God gun sun opera Opera body without organs Opera le grande macabre body without organs she lights the lights
She lights the lights ladder She lights the lights lattice leviathan hollywood squares ladder square lights My letters link ladder lattice lights louder leviathan / leviathan amplified ensemble Leviathan amplified electric flute electric cello electric piano My letters light the lights louder and longer, an amplified alligator Adonai / El Shaddai dragonfly auto-flagellation
Her light leaks liminal letters Her light liminal leaks letters onto my interstitial spaces and her space khora lights the lights Her space khora cartoon catastrophe lights the lights larger chaos
To compose such a symposium of the whole, such a totality / all the old excluded orders must be included
Total: to gather my cringe, my embarrassment (even my hidden bigotries and prejudices) and WRITE them Not even to make a poetry or an art (although art sometimes results) but purely write and archive because that affirms my human That affirms my son of man, a child of humanity Totality: to not kill my cringe but the part of me that cringes To write UGLY and BORING (to write BORING: the greatest sin and my biggest fear) I set my fears to fires / set fire to the face on fire
Enforced fires fire flow low leviathan the letter ledge she lights the lights
Enforced fires faces flesh flayed flying fish / my famished flesh eye floaters Eye floaters submerged eye Submerged eye subterranean poetries Submerged eye suburbs / Hulk Hogan in Suburban Commando Submerged eye brine lake laparoscopic sinkhole surgery Stochastic sinkhole surgery / monte carlo method holds barred Everything went… No holds barred! Bar ballroom blossoms Bar blue eyes white dragon Bar my eyes inside bulls balls
Everything went… No holds barred! Barracuda bar repetitions Bold barracuda book bar excess and I exceed repetitions I exceed repetitions erotic and a man walks into a bar and says so: a priest, a rabbi, and a horse walk into a bar, and the bartender says, what is this, some kind of joke?
She Lights The Lights Revisits Several Suicides
Content Warning: body horror; discussion of depression and suicide
She lights the lights She lights the lights leviathan the leviathan a little leather / the whip and the body Light leviathan skull of a skeleton with burning cigarette Cigarette light burn leviathan Leviathan inoculated loops light microscope the speculum that doesn’t shine The speculum that doesn’t shine super nintendo dot matrix My body as matrix marries the whip and the body The whip and the body disco elysium flesh excavations I excavate my flesh archaeological site / my face ancient buried city My face antiquity / woman roads body rack colosseum Colosseum corpus colosum cut brain brine bitches brew Her brew whips clips cut benjamin backroom benjamin backrooms room for one more More car crash chariot tent leviathan
(An Idolomantis diabolica, also known as the devil’s flower mantis, throws his front legs up in defense mode)
She lights the lights LARGE lust leviathan lust lights She lights the lights LARGE lust liminal spaces / red light distracts as desert heterotopias Lights lend leviathan nude very color of skin, every kind of sin… GIRLS OF THE FRENCH QUARTER a novel of men on the loose and the girls on the prowl
She lights the lights hanging skeleton and cat Cat gut crash car crash
I revisit the Orgy at Lil’s Place – the writing segment I sent Asia a few years ago and riffs on various taglines and mottos from the movie poster How would I write this now – exactly the same perhaps – or a new repetition, a repetition of the trace between the invisible written score and improvisation of Ornette Coleman (I don’t know, but bebop had emerged, and I saw it as a way out, says Ornette Coleman. It’s an instrumental music that isn’t connected to a certain scene)
Bebop as a way out / the way out through the body Body border orgy at lil’s place Body border bone orgy at lil’s place / lil plate prayer leviathan Lil plate scale psalm prayer leviathan and the orgy lights the lights Light the lights cassette tape loops leviathan magnetism Leviathan rare earth magnets / electromagnetic improvisation
Every color of skin sheets of sound sonic boomerangs shaman rattle rhizomes
Skin dragon scales cat skull sheets of sound my body scuffed and molting
My body molts several sheets of skin peppered scorpion tail flying pan pan flying circus acrobat batman (Ladies. Gentleman. You have eaten well. You have eaten Gotham’s wealth. Its spirit. Your feats is nearly over. From this moment on, none of you are safe)
Batman bites my skull blood gushes Lost Boy’s vampire ambush Batman sodomizes ben bitch blowfish between bitches brew blue bathers Bathe black poured pigment batman stained canvas batcave (As if to answer, a huge bat flies in the open window! A bat! That's it! It’s an omen… I shall become a bat!) My body bat bites blessing self-cannibalism / I eat my own hands I eat my own hands hooks in the column bands of silver
Everything went… no holds barred! If you didn't go to the limit you were considered a square! THE ORGY AT LIL’S PLACE
Everything erotic immediate earth Everything erratic immanent earth (The primary difference between ben of the three years ago writing Lil’s Place versus present ben writing Lil’s Place: I currently extend everything and I explore every possible combination until the text breaks underneath the weight of logorrhea and graphomania Past ben perhaps wrote in a slightly more compact form: I hesitate now to finish or complete any text, and like a dog that returns to his own vomit, I continually reuse and rewrite previously used texts (For it would have been better for them never to have known the way than after knowing it, turn their back It has happened to them according to the proverb: the dog return back to its own vomit and the sow is washed only to wallow in the mud)
(I don’t believe in throw stuff away, says Geoff Johns. I just believe in putting as many toys on the shelf and letting creators and other people get in there and tell great stories and add to the mythos. We should march this universe forward)
Include everything, including cringe and failures I’m going through a period where I can’t be around people I’m going through a period where I can’t be around people including myself, and I fantasize about crashing my car at such high speeds, my body completely obliterates, a shower of ludicrous gibs I include this too I include my self-hatred and wrestle with the Book and writing: it disappeared in my hands It disappears my hands hooked into cross columns / crown of thorns thrashed hash bands of silver
I do not eat any of the god’s body raw or boiled in water, but I roast it over the fire, her heads, legs, and inner organs I eat the god’s body none of it remains in the morning and what remains in morning I burn in fires
Texts trap overlap screwball comedy, an orgy at lil’s place Texts trail endless nameless her other lesser lights and let the texts fuck more flexible I let the texts fuck a contortion’s cross
(A female character who dominates the relationship with the male central character, whose masculinity is challenged, and the two engage in a humorous battle of the sexes)
(I am a man I am self-aware And everywhere I go You’re always right there with me I flirted with you all my life Even kissed you once or twice And to this day I swear it was nice But clearly I was not ready…)
(Well, this song is a love song, says Vic Chesnutt. It’s a suicide’s break up song with death. You know, I’ve attempted suicide three or four times. It didn’t take. And this is really a break up song with death)
(For a long time, I’ve struggled very much with what people call treatment-resistant depression, says David Berman. It never goes away from me and I’m surprised I’ve made it this far, really, in life. There probably 100 nights over the past 10 years where I was sure I wouldn’t make it to the morning. Yeah, I’m a very depressed person. I felt even worse about myself as time went on and I wasn’t doing anything. I feel better now, having completed this project…)
I search for something in suicides – perhaps my own suicide I try to stave off suicide – to starve, to delay it, and it often still feels inevitable It feels assured, my own future, and in writing these lyrics and interviews, I feel death raw or death interrupts I often feel I deserve death: no ending all ending ending nothing I think nothing because I know God abandoned me (continually abandons me, progressively abandons me until absolute abandonment nothing) The Spirit of Prophecy abandons me and that NOTHING feels as a shelter or solace or fortress of solitude except truly nothing I search for solitude as suicide and solitude calls nothing, absent from my self-hatred, from my brain boiling oven over other anything)
I search something in suicides and I feel darkness and cold and all my happiness is gone I feel stranger and outer darkness and spit out lukewarm from the mouth of Christ utterly rejected
I saved conversations with Asia – her answers to serious questions like “Why do you like me as a friend? “Why do you like me as a person?” etc. I saved them for a dark place, a place of desolation and outer darkness I write and copy her conversations many times and she often helps and even partially heals me I copy them now:
I unconditionally care for you, says Asia. I will not give up on you. I believe you’ll become a better friend and person.
...
You have interesting insights on things especially when it comes to creativity, spirituality, and religion, she says. You bring something fresh and unique to the table with your ideas and the way you think about things. You are always pushing the boundaries of ideas and concepts. You are pushing yourself (for better or for worse) to be better and you have this open curiosity about other people and have a tendency to delight in others even when you don’t delight in yourself.
…
Jesus why do you do this? says Asia. You asked me what I thought about past you asking for a lot even though you knew it would probably set you off and it’s all you can focus no now. We already talked about making it work and how to make time for it and we will adjust as we need to but for the love of God stop beating yourself up and doing things that you know will cause you to spiral, and definitely for the love of god stop asking me if I want to end or would be better off without the friendship.
I survive I survive and always survive the separated structures skull sutureless skulls subpop destruction Skulls separated by hooks hook cave columns (HANDS OF THE RIPPER this is a Hammer Film) I survive scrolle skalli skull (Sean S. Cunningham Friday the 13th 1980 Very slow moving film. Boring or an art film? Certainly intriguing)
I survive the horror of my own skull my skull screams friday the thirteenth talking heads totems Talking heads towers my skull fixes the distance between my eyes eye stereoscopic vision My skull teton towers fixes the position of my ears ears to enable sound localization of the direction and distance of sounds (how we stand the standard distance distant strangers stand apart)
She lights the lights skull survival and revival
Throwaway Cringe Thing
Hooks of the columns and their bands of silver
(Hooks of the column I write cringe I write crust punk cringe porn / Karina of the Drawfee YouTube channel proclaims: Don’t kill the part of you that’s cringe – kill the part of you that cringes I decide to kill the part of me that cringes and I embrace my cringe and embarrassment wholly I am large: I contain multitudes including embarrassment, cringe, the ugly) (The lyrics from Camping In Alaska inspire me and although the lyrics can be correctly categorized as immature or cringe, I receive them as honest and human)
(And now we’re grown up Fucking grown ups Where the bummed out swan songs are wasted on closed ears)
(Fuck this fuck everything no one even cares Oh how I wish that they would care I hope that I die so some people might listen to the songs I write or wrote)
(Why can’t I be Snowing why can’t you fucking love me Why can’t I be snowing why won’t you fucking love me Cause I love you but I guess I’m a shitty person I love, yes I love you but you don’t wanna know You don’t wanna know)
This is at least the second time – perhaps the third time – I have written these lyrics in the Book They lack subtlety or cleverness but they strike me human, the kind of human American Football evokes in the opening lyrics of the song “Honestly?”: Honestly I can’t remember teen dreams all my teenage feelings and meanings… Although Camping In Alaska sings now we’re grown ups, I never feel grown up I feel as a perpetual Charlie Brown loser, a cynical Daria without the cynical wit I hide my immaturity through obscurity (a creative security through obscurity but I fool no one) I decide to embrace my cringe and kill the part of me that cringes I juxtapose emo lyrics with the Zohar and I treat both of them as scripture
(How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just cry in the dark)
A polystylistic pornography A postmodern pornography: pornographic play pit the orgy at lil’s place
(Something about this music reminds me I’m not supposed to be working a 9 to 5 I hate. We’re supposed to be on tour. We’re supposed to be making songs again. I miss playing in this band so much. Damn. It’s hard to listen to sometimes)
I write incessantly cringe and I hope someday I sell out and write dinosaur erotica Sometimes selling out is waking up and history is a nightmare from which I try to awake
I write endless cringe and parody emo lyrics / I hate myself and want to die (This has added speculation that I Hate Myself were poking fun at emo / screamo bands’ tendency to favor drawn-out and often nonsensical song titles that usually do not reflect any themes or lyrics within the song)
Porn Pulp Pit Play
content warning: some pornographic pulp imagery
Porn pit python peak porno groove Peak porno groove grove / pomegranate orchard Unordered pomegranate orchard orchard ouroboros Ouroboros boxer driller Ouroboros bore driller robert duvall desert then desert laugh then desert (Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning)
Now I begin IMMEDIATELY desert and the immediate incarnates imitative polyphony Immediate imitative desert desert polyphonic pornography Polyphonic pornographic groove / pornogrind gods IMMEDIATE desert immediately the beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God (other ancient authorities lack the Son of God)
Immediate desert IMMEDIATELY desert repeats rhizomic repetition Desert repeats but never copies Desert never copies but knots into the napalm name of the cross Desert knots cross napalm name of the cross Desert knots cross napalm name and secret name snow in slime snow in waters Desert knots secret name gnosis, an aggregate gnosticisms An esoteric microfilm fleers force the cross moss Moss god monsters Moss cross chimera Cross chimera charismatic stigmata Stigmata serpent speech sprawls awl animal wheel Sprawls bone awl bone folder fire fires scour desert Fires scour shire sprawls bone buckyball desert bulldozers
Desert body without organs repeats undead body without organs / my flat face surfaces thoroughly fire My flat face facets undead fire (Dismembered bodies transplanted again and again to create ASTRO-ZOMBIE) Desert repeats napalm name naked body without organs Beneath my desert body and my undead body, larvae and loathsome worms, and God at work messes it up or strangles my bodies by organizing them My bodies distort desert distortion Desert cut curvature stations of the cross
Immediate desert immediately monastery icons golden ratio god monsters Golden ratio desert repetitions / desert never copies but repeats dust deconstruction Desert repeats dust deconstruction and dust difference (difference of the desert crying one desert) (difference of the desert crying one other desert) (difference dedekind cut constructs a real beyond real the reach / I never reach the desert)
Conversations With Asia Rain 05/11/2020 1:14 PM
Would you like to read more pulp stuff I have been writing? I say. Sure I’m down, says Asia.
Everything went… no holds barred! If you didn't go to the limit you were considered a square! THE ORGY AT LIL’S PLACE. See the wild wild party of sex sophisticates. Screw in blushing color! See beautiful girls wrestling! See attempted assault! See the ‘art’ class! See the strip dice games! See the whipping scene! See the vice raid! See the passions run riot! Thanks be to God who permits the forbidden. Everything went: I eat this kidney fat. Everything went: I transgress Torah for the sake of God and the World to Come. Everything went in writing: everything went in Vision: everything went with Woman. No holds barred: everything bare Benjamin. Everything permitted: nothing refrained. Partake in each particular: partake everything. Your body becomes the vessel through which everything passes through. Light the exponentiation of light to the limit. The limitations lurch artificial. The limitations lead self-imposed. The actuality: no limit and beyond limit: the body and Flesh. Orgy and orgasm. Orgasm and joy. Joy and Jouissance. Offer orgy: enjoy orgy. Orgy of the Ordained, demolishing the difference between sacred and profane. Orgy of Ordet, wood wintered Woman Woman Wild Word. Wild Wild Wilderness. Wild Wild Word and World. Wild Wild Woman and Wyvern, warbling as the worm. The party pistols and pistons. The party pushes and pares. The party parts and panties. Sex sophisticates: sex spirits: sex spears the speculum that doesn’t shine. Scenes salt spirit. Scenes salt charisma and charis. Scenes color Christ and Christina. Scenes color Christianity and Kingdom. Blush beast: blush baptism. Blush beast: blush benjamin. Beautiful blush and blessing wrestling with the writing. Beautiful blush and blessing wrestling with the Wily Woman. The attempted assault against the angelic and apartment: the attempted assault against Adonai and El Shaddai. The attempted assault in art and awl. Strip strange. Strip stretch. Strip dice dark desert, gamble with gut. Gut whipping Woman and Woman whipping wolf and wolverine. The Vice Vision: the Vice Valley: the Vice Volley. The passions poison pharmakon run riot.
I like it, says Asia. Is it supposed to be read as a poem or more of a narrative? Prose poem? I say. OK. I’m asking because if it was more narrative, I would suggest more description of setting. It flowed nicely and I don’t think it is too racy. I mean it does shock you a little at first but I think that’s the charm of it, says Asia. The Orgy At Lil’s Place is a movie from 1963 and apparently that was the tag line on the poster. The first part I mean. Oh OK, says Asia. I didn’t know it was a movie.
Pulp pulse play porn Pulp play pulse porn Orange juice with pulp pulse porn orgasms Fake orgasms and accidental real orgasms / orgy at lil’s place pocket dimension play and pornography
Pulp pulse play porn pit and they, and all that appertained to them, went alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation
Pulp pulse play porn but nevertheless a fountain or pit, where in there plenty of waters, shall been clean: but that which touch their carcass shall be unclean
Pulp gull gallows low pornography death erection and if man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit and not cover
Porno Groove God Napalm
My eye extrudes body without organs a jigsaw organic eye Origami original eye Original impossible eye blowfish omelette (the double variation of eye and egg) (the double variation of my body dead and undead / zombie zebra)
Zombie zebra zombie gods / god undead seven sermons to the dead (Zebra, a Vast Acting Living Intelligence System stretched between star systems, writes PKD. It mimics our reality, and modulates (manipulates it, without us seeing it…))
I do not see Zebra or VALIS or even Yahweh (whether interpreted as orthodox christian god or a sethian demiurge) The gods – any gods – completely and utterly abandon me I cry the Eloi Eloi Lema Sabacthani: I no longer claim a religion I no longer claim any religion except the Book and I continue to write the Book in the name of the Book I continue to write the Book in the name of the KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rain
Hobgoblin god horror hop-scotch horrorcore
Prayer FIXED? His supplication bears no fruit (What is FIXED?) Whatever blocks the will to MAKE IT NEW
I do not pray but pray unfixed Play unfixed human feathers new human cyberpunk play cyborg
To compose such a symposium of the whole, such a totality, all the old excluded orders must be included… The female, the proletariat, the foreign; the animal and the vegetative; the unconscious and the unknown; the criminal and failure – all that has been outcast and vagabond must return to be admitted in the creation of what we consider we are (Robert Duncan, from “Rites of Participation”)
A symposium of the whole: whole hell and whole human
A symposium / synthetic holy spirit synthesizes whole Whole hell whole human shadow healers Shadows heal hell sheol sinister / left-hand hell Left-hand hell her: the field of metaphor traced almost in the manner of a haruspex Haruspex harmolodics luscious funk Luscious funk soft luminosity and luscious funk underground / urinary liquefaction of the sky Kingdom of the skies eye egg testicles
Totality: Total Testicles testicle Taryn / counterpoint genitals and gods Two totality my total body terminator two judgment day desert dirk or desert dagger / dagger detour détournement Deconstruction as collage cut totality Total tear torn outcast and vagabond my manic writing mirror monomania myth through a mirror darkly Myth through a stained glass dimly: dim serpents total leviathan
Conversations With Asia Rain 05/11/2020 10:21 AM
The empress always reminds me of Christina to a certain extent, I say. I wrote a poem way back in the day (before I was aware of Tarot) that said “Faerie Princess, be my empress and slam dance with me off walls!” Not a bad card to be like, says Asia. There is an interesting shadow exercise where you write about the tarot cards you really like and really hate and explore why or personify the cards, have a dialogue with them, says Asia. That’s a fascinating exercise – have you done it? I could try it today – it would mean that I will have to confront the hierophant though. Ah yes, the hierophant: your soul card even, I say. It’s almost bad as people telling me that I am just like my mother, says Asia.
Empress earth erotic earth desolation angels Erotic earth angels copulate debauchery / desolation peak play trace desolation of abominations Abomination of desolations (I pray in the desolate place) I pray in the desolate I pray in the empty place Empty pace play earth her total eros
Faerie Princess be my empress / outer darkness Outer darkness traces my body almost desert then utter desert my body absolutely naked (the body the body all itself no need for organs my body never an organism)
Original organism taste trace / my body pitch palindromes slightly upset by registral displacement My body rough registers desert displaced Desert definite difference my body dune and done black dress drag desert dust
I search desert striking stones together I search desert deliriant, rock red rolling them on the ground to make thunder Ground water wall joshua tree: thunder World Tree Taryn thunder thunder woman web woman body machines Body machine bone machines tree body thunder body thunder tent theater Theater tabernacle shadow puppets shadowplay / my body outer darkness
Body overdose desert Body microdose desert television antennae ant colonies
My body into hooks and hands My body into hooked heads, the interior crook cooked tabernacle Hooks of the column and their bands silver Hooks hands column craters keep crypt the doppelganger tabernacle / my body as tent of meeting My body as babel building Hooks hell upon your pale pale body I will put many hands Hooks hell rough rough fingers for every hole you have
Have holes many hands she hooks her teeth hands into my body blessingway My body blessingway woman Woman cooks my body bubblegum bazooka god gears Bazooka Joseph husband to Mary Benjamin Joseph through into the pit (I saw a star that has fallen from heaven to earth, and he was given the key to he shaft of the bottomless pit; he opened the shaft of the bottomless pit, and from the shaft rose smoke like the smoke of a great furnace, and the sun and the air darkened from the smoke of the shaft)
Hooks of the columns and their bands of silver Hooks of the column draw out leviathan by fishhook I fish leviathan and leviathan lights the lights Leviathan lights the lights loops library Library loops library of babel / benjamin breaches bottomless pit
Pit python minoan snake goddess Her figure fire flies other witches and witches fish hook flow flame Hook flow human figures flame: her human flame lights the lights Wick woman fighters of men lights the lights and her hands hook into my side / my side there go to ships and leviathan that Yahweh forms to sport with
Pit python bebop rhythm / my rhythm the structural use of register Pit pendulum porno rhythms (Want to hear a dirty joke? Brown chick brown cow) (The now-stereotypical “bow-chicka-bow-wow” – also called “porn groove” or “porno groove” – an early mashup of psychedelic rock, lounge music, early funk – particularly “Green Onions” –, and sometimes pastoral folk… Prominently featuring wah-wah pedals, Hammond organs, and “piercing hi-hats” this music evokes 1960s and 1970s pornographic films, and has been released as soundtrack albums at least through the 2010s…)
Porn pit python peak porno groove Peak porno groove grove / pomegranate orchard Unordered pomegranate orchard orchard ouroboros Ouroboros boxer driller Ouroboros bore driller robert duvall desert then desert laugh then desert (Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm in the morning)
Zombie Body Without Organs
She lights the lights zombie horror / ghoul gods and undead gods
She lights the lights and this passage was later used in the promotional materials in the 1932 film white Zombie (Also shall be qualified as attempted murder the employment which may be made by any person of substance, which, without causing actual death, produce a lethargic coma more or less prolonged. If, after the administering of such substances, the person has been buried, the act shall be considered murder no matter what result follows)
She lights the lights zombie astral animal desiring-machine / every coupling of machines, every production of a machine, every sound of a machine running
She lights the lights, body without organs (at any rage, I have one or several body without organs) Organ zombie astral witch trains Witch train Taryn and she transforms me into a zombie by two special powders introduced into the bloodstream (through my wound wounded witch train fisher’s tackle fishers of men more machines) She powder strikes my brain Taryn Tetrodotoxin and then introduces deliriants into my dome body / desert datura
Deliriants desert my body dome and dune My body dome and dune dark, deeper deliriant darkness Darker earth imminent earth / gospel immediately Gospel immediately body (Just because it’s a love story doesn't mean it can’t have a decapitation or two)
(In his films George A. Romero bred the zombie with the vampire, and what he got was the hybrid vigor of a ghoulish plague monster)
My body dome and dune dawn of the dead My body dune dance undressed day of the dead (Sometime later, all emergency broadcast transmissions cease, suggesting that the government has collapsed)
My body details decay decay in desert and decay to desert / my body Book of Sand sliced silver Slivered silver shotgun shells (special effects of the exploring head during the tenement building scene) (an example of the bright hue of the fake blood, grey face make-up, and special effects in Dawn of the Dead)
Zombie BLAST baboon ass asshole great ape hell and my hell hugs zombie my body decays dome and dune / machete zombie Sweater zombie nurse zombie
Gore as art form Gore gloss fluorescent blood blast body body blood her breath
She lights the lights, gore as art form flag figures my ballerina body baphomet Ballerina body behemoth hodegetria / icon zombie zig-zag alligators (all that was left after… THE KILLER SHREWS) Shrew shanks spike screw skitters / his affinity for crafting lengthy, melodic loops peppered with backbeats and vocal samples
Drum programming plays gore plow loose bodies and bodies without quantization Bodies without quantization but queer clear gore cut into gore bodies
Loose drunk desert Drunk desert drum programming / a new pleasurable orienting rhythmic friction and new time-feel Zombie rhythm and undead rhythm / awkward other uneven Awkward other toward uneven / undead earth Undead immediate earth (beyond the black mouth of the cursed cave lurks the unfleshed CAVE OF THE LIVING DEAD)
Zombie body without organs Zombie blunt bodies and bark bodies world tree traffic World tree crosstown traffic tryptamines I have loved Zombie body without organs organic swing afrobeat / Fela Kuti’s Zombie
(Zombie O Zombie Zombie no go go unless you tell them to go Zombie no go stop unless you tell them to stop)
Zombie body without organs organic chemistry then stations of the cross alchemy Alchemy army arrangement Yahweh of Armies and Yahweh of Hosts
Body without organs broken obelisk / my body three tons of Cor-Ten steel My body three tons of Cor-Ten steel develops rust-colored patina My bone rivets rust red rich red carbon stink desert dunes (my body domes and dunes rust red desert painted desert red rupture painted desert red rupture)
Beneath my organs, larvae and loathsome worms, and God works by messing it all up or strangles it by organizing other organs Organs zombie bomb parasites / parasite plastic pus plastic soul
My body erupts body and my organs rebel organs anarchic biology Benjamin biochemistry and bioalchemy arranges god armies but the anarchic spirits slay imaginary bodies / invisible vision Invisible vision vicar bodies viscous slime in snow Viscous slime in snow secret holy spirit
Secret holy spirit and secret Christianity, rhizomic christianities encrypted in church walls stained glass catacombs Glass catacomb cobweb wyvern gods My wyvern vision transforms tortured serpent leviathan into twisted steel steer twisted ladder Twisted steel leviathan lap dances Tetsuo Iron Man and Tetsuo Body Hammer and my flesh forges fire serpents My flesh forges seraphs snow in water fires and the cave shakes clusters cemenite spheroids Desert divorced cemenite spheroids and I hammer serpent pattern forming hyperentectoid crucible steel with visible carbide building on the surface, consistent with original damascus steel
Red sea serpent steel Sea of reeds desert damascus steel Steel détournement undressed desert deconstruction
Red sea sawtooth waves Sea of reeds sawtooth Taryn wave women leviathan
Body without organs Plants Vs. Zombies / I use my cranium as a cantaloupe lobber plant leviathan
Mashup Metal Mesh Texts
Mashup metal mesh texts Mashup metal medicine woman and she meets mashup subterranean / superimposed towers Superimposed stacked towers texts transformative texts Text transfers texts the tabernacle cock torso / benjamin bast and pop Bast and pop goes the weasel weasel woman Weasel weevil wire woman women with knives Gnostic knives the priestess slays me The high priestess slays me and bootlegs my body / body bastard bootleg Body bast and bootleg laughter
Bodies blend bend bastard blues / play pop plastic Peek peak plastic play pop plastic pus Bastard body burst bloom brutalism Brutalist blood flower flesh My flesh pats plastic perfume, scentless apprentice apostasy
Apostate she lights the lights Apostle she lights the lights Prominent among the apostles, she lights the lights, pandemonium shadow show
Show shadow holy spirit shadowplay / in the shadowplay acting out your own death
Show death my domed body, my body of domes and dunes My body domes and dunes let there be a dome in the middle of the waters, to separate one body of water from the ether My water body separate from my water body my body pumping iron water and water iron salt Iron salt seethed seed Asia High Priestess thunder traces
Texts trace thunder thermal theater / salt heat text hard hell Hell hardboiled egg my eyes burst bodies / bodies bootleg bourbons
My body of domes and dunes dome middle waters metal mesh mashup only text (THE DOME the Hebrew suggests a giant metal dome inserted into the middle of a single body of water to form day space within To form body within body the DOME)
Conversations With Asia Rain 05/11/2020 4:32 AM
This isn’t related but I really hate how ridiculously busy we are supposed to be as adults, says Asia. We just have to keep going and going and I feel like I ran myself ragged the past three semesters. I was diagnosed with depression, I’m currently trying to work stuff out and I really wish I could just have a minute to work stuff out. My last assignment for college is to turn in a “professional growth plan” where I detail where I plan to get a matters degree and from where. Like, I just graduated, why do you need to know when I’m getting my masters? And when they expected us to have jobs lined up before we graduate. Job searching is a job on its own and I feel like a loser for falling behind and not having enough “get up and go” and people are congratulating me for graduating but it really doesn't feel like much, says Asia.
05/11/2020 9:06 AM
I’m awake again, I say. I got a bad headache, threw up, and called out of work, says Asia. That stinks. The headache is mostly gone but I’m wondering if it’s safe to try and eat something. I would recommend trying some bland foods first, I say. I’m going to drink a bottle of hot sauce, says Asia.
(This conversation with Asia occurred more than 3 years ago and I feel proud of Asia because she has progressed much and achieved much She teaches, she mothers, she friends, she creates Asia a beautiful friend and a beautiful person She – we – still run ourselves ragged, but we figure it out we will figure it out)
The great coitus with the celestial atmosphere regulated by the terrestrial rotation around the sun
Coitus cross coitus, cross rotations torsion transformations / transformation torso Transformation torso pieces play party shadowplay sun death and sun orgasm What this coitus coupled coin collections cabinet of curiosities / what this absurd archive comics Traumatic chopped torsos Automatic torsos traumatic attic acid jazz (Coitus the joy buzzer of texts Sex the shocking fake cigarette pack of texts and texts shock shard sun Sun orgy stars a celestial serpent serpents)
Sun serpents Sun serpents serpent suns Serpent show slime double dark slime time Sun serpents salted serpent ladder lime Sun serpents salted serpent ladder leviathans (chart for the calculations of solar and lunar eclipses According to ancient legends, this due to a dragon swallowing the heavenly bodies and spewing them out again)
When the dragon saw that it had been thrown down to the earth, it pursued the woman who had given birth to the male child
Dragon my body dunes and domes my body dragon domes and dunes desert détournement
My body drags dust My body drags dust dragon dust and gödel dust, dream timelike curves Sun back wands sun coitus coitus clusters and cloisters My body dust dragon dust dreaming / she drifts on the water She drifts on the water / he drifts on her water deeper drift dust drift sun dust Her sun dust drifts eclipse ellipse calculations
My body at two points of intersections in the moon’s orbit Orbit disordered dust Dust deconstruction calendar and calculations (the ascending node the head of the dragon the descending node the tail)
Deep drag dragon’s tail topsy-turvy detached torsos Detached torso dust and my torso touches points shadowplay moon plains Moon cities of the plain plow my body palace patterns, patterns of the throne then the chariot's (Chariots of two internodes orbit the cross dragons copulating)
The absent and inert girl hanging dreamless from my arms no more foreign to me than the door or window through which I look or pass
(I look through the ghost of girls I pass through ghost girls, my gaze gods underground underneath her name) (The eternal recurrence of the sevenfold division of the universe as a river of space and time)
I live so I write Alive, I write – no stopping No stop alive I write and I write time and the river I write echoes of time and the river River rains her maids River rains the river dragon has come Rain river Asia rain rivers rest and river rains women Rive rains women the women-gods and women-christs who transform my life She lights the lights my life in light benjamin the dragon thrown down to earth pursues women who gives birth to the male child benjamin / benjamin son of man and dragon Dragon draws dust drag son of man / conjoined twins I saw Satan fall like lightning from the sky
I write accumulations and agglutinating languages / she lights the lights my alligator body My scales sink dust, the earth domed over my dig body and she draws benjamin walk softly witch
I write accumulative alchemies echoes of time and the river (Taryn frozen time Taryn remembrance of time Taryn collapse of time Taryn last echoes of time) Taryn time timeless sun sun sum the absent and inert girl hanging dreamless then she dreams She dreams me caw caw the crow comes at me caw caw the crow who’s here (the last three songs more rapidly)
Join in the sexcapades with dozens of Bavarian Frauleins! PLAYGIRLS OF MUNICH Playgirl shadow play sun sex skin sheds Shadowplay playgirl sun body simulations scorched earth What play french new wave women edit my body cut thrash body thrash metal fast fucking sun fast fucks stations of the cross coitus my body brilliant corners Sun angles Sun angles and sun switches between orthodox and southpaw solar angles Southpaw shadowplay / solar anus annulus name annihilations The secret of the name secluded in pulp sexcapades (with your arrow you cannot reach the sun: with mine I can sweep under my fire the eternal sun)
Sun shaman subterranean Sun subterranean shaman Shaman swim sin peacock sexcapades, the sun shadow shaped as a hammerhead shark Sunspot shamans descend into crop circles steered into sinkholes and the earth oven embalms my eye as an egg Earth immerses my eye into salt, serpent calcination and serpent coagulation My blood salts a sunnyside egg leviathan
Sun similar sun John Coltrane stellar regions Sun similar sun John Coltrane sun star Uncertain interstellar space interstellar space species counterpoint
Conversations with Asia Rain 05/11/2020 9:57 AM
I was always the “put on your lipstick and a brave face so that no one knows what’s up” kind of depressed, says Asia. I never experienced oversleeping but I know people who go through that, she says. I don’t have the energy to put on my lipstick, I say. I think everyone experiences it a little differently. I felt like the living dead, says Asia, and would experience lapses in memory, but I didn’t have time for it so I ignored it hoping it would go away. I remember routinely looking in the mirror and think “wow I look like I died and was brought back to life.” Zombie effect, I say. Yup. Do you feel better now? Oh absolutely. I haven't felt like a zombie in awhile. Weird moods sometimes but no zombies.
Zombie BLAST zaum Zombie blast wave zombie blast fishing fishers of men (homemade bombs conducted using a glass bottle with layers of powdered potassium nitrate and pebbles or ammonium nitrate and kerosene) Zombie blastophaga flesh waterfall floor sleigh bells card upon his brow is set a crown of flame
Zombie blaster master baboon brick bodies / stations of the cross conflict cargo cult corruption barnacle bodies Blast desiring-machines and body without organs Blonde bombshell body without organs bag of ob eye eggs Bag of ob egg eyes she sounds her shaman bag She speaks dead and summons me dead Summon me dead shroud shade shroud sumer icumen in Sheol summer canon zombies blasted out of lollapalooza cannons
Hooks Columns Cross Book Of Concealment
Content Warning: Body horror imagery
The Book of Concealment a book balanced on scales / The Book made variously formed matters different dates and speeds Book concealed: Book concealed Cross and Christina Book concealed concentric circles crop circles satellite circulatory systems Satellite settle space needle then El Saturn records / hypomanic for Sun Ra radial rays ray afrofuturism and p-funk / witches fatten up my body Surprise Saturn monolith lithic flake fracturing as the direct ancestor of clovis point counterpoint / renaissance canon polyphony
The Book of concealment / concealment of the Book the very pulse of the machine Machine masochist body body without organs overflowing rat king ouroboros I sew up my body holy spirit sadism and I sew up my eyes, my anus, my urethra, my breasts shut open shuttered closed / shuttered closed to repel ghosts Masochist schism machined body body without organs benjamin strung up to stop the organs from working
The Book of concealment closed organs body book clipper ships Book clips my ears, my toes, my fingers / my body concealed book knives carver catastrophes (nubile actresses… doomed to slaughter… for this wanton ways THE FLESH OF BLOOD SHOW gruesomely stained in color)
Masochist body body without organs (Throw yourself in. Physical configuration will be. Destroyed. Neural configuration will be. Preserved. Maybe.)
I string myself up to the stop the organs from working; flayed but organs still cling to my skin; my skin scrapes then scabs over, scatter desert scurries Desert holy spirit scatters skims my skin with shears / clock tower scissors Clock tower scissors medusa head stone sting guillotine
String stones scorpions String stones another horse bright red and the red wrecks seventy weeks the whip and the body Horse bright red revulsion repulsion rent rhythm pulses / horse HORSES horses (my only criticism is that it needs more onomatopoeia, says Asia)
(According to the Musurgia Universalis, 1650, the hen makes “to to too”, while chicks make “glo glo go”)
Onomatopoeia body without organs traces ocean ouroboros
Onomatopoeia isles outer darkness crash test dummies (in speaking of a mishap involving an audible arcing of electricity, the word ZAP often used / its use has been extended to describe non-auditory effects of interference)
Outer dark desert dissonances / my body details deconstructions My tongue traces torso and torso traces tongue (… because there, nothing but traces, embryos of discourse, the book articulated and the word given free rein word free rain free jazz)
The Book of Concealment / The Book of Revelation reveals concealed and conceals revealed (What's my Book about? I ask Christina. An evolution of revelations. What do the revelations consist of? What God reveals to you. God left me though, I say. The Christian god left me, so who is it that reveals? What is this thing revealing to me? Well you and I may disagree, says C. I do believe you were a conduit. And even if you feel God left you doesn’t mean He won’t still use you. He’s… a bastard, says Christina)
The integral but unpredictable floating variations of a Calder mobile and Jackson Pollock’s spontaneity and directness in relation to the material
Revelation materials bright red red rum gin rummy antique rummages / its rider permitted to take peace from the earth so that people would slaughter one another and the horse bright red riders rider given a great sword (Outside in the distance a wildcat did grows two riders were approaching the wind began to howl)
Material Material body without organs Pump organ outer darkness (or physiology, dealing with the structure of the ear, anatomy of the vocal organs, and the sound made by animals, birds and insects, including the death-song of the swan) (Onomatopoeia vampire parrot perch)
My body material disintegration saturated sackcloth / bloody street strangulation Catscratch splatterpunk shaking the pumpkin I sprinkle the water my body prima materia metamaterials and I flex fluxus not neo-dada but but sheer sheol / Torah inscribes carbon nanotubes Nanotubes Taryn her name Her name secret of revelation and revelation of secret Splatterpunk passion passagia passion Passion passacaglia passion passion of Jesus Christ strikes stone cross / stone crucifixion cataclysm
Not the matter of myth but the material of myth The material myth residual repetition repetition residue The repeat of the sonata-allegro form Sonata-allegro from rope figurines the ninth configuration Nine names as nine muses myth material musics Myth melodies musics / counterpoint Christina bodies my soft belly the Cross (Terrifying! THE CRIMES OF THE BLACK CAT Blood curdling! THE HORRIBLE SEXY VAMPIRE)
Feral hogtie horrors Feral cannibal ferox a more slack body without organs You may tie me down on the table, ropes drawn tight, for ten to fifteen minutes, time enough to prepare the instruments Flesh fingers finger flesh the power of repetition and naming
I name more this beyond hyper hydra hypomania / hell heterotopias Heterotopia tehom cobra triangle Triangle tangles tehom counterpoint (the sanctus as a 36-voice canon of angels, divided into nine choirs) Nine choir nine days for my anvil body to fall from heaven to earth and nine more to fall from earth to Tartarus
Hooks of the columns and their bands of silver All these clasped by knots of supernal pillars, hooks of the columns, and all those below suspended from those hooks
Hooks columns cross Book of Concealment
Hooks books columns corridors Book of Concealment / Rhythm conceals rhythm Rhythm conceals rhythm unrobed revelation
The sun becomes a disc and then a globe for its light to flow up a liquid and join up a soft luminosity and a urinary liquefaction of the sky Eye egg testicle Eye egg testicle tehom / hooks three for the meathook Sun hooks my head spine haloes Sun hooks my head holy ghost horror Holy ghost ghost story hurries Ghost story hamnet hamlet hatchet hammock / a side eye at my hamlet hat
Sun hooks hyperpop Son of Man / maximalist microgenres (I’m a maximalist in my creative efforts so I can’t fault anyone for making long movies without being hypocritical, I say. When I say I’m critical of length of films that goes in both directions, he says, and is almost always a function of how well the included or seemingly missing scenes further the story. A well told story, fiction or not, is certainly worth the time. Your writings while long are, I find, also well worth the time taken to read, which is certainly shorter than the time you invested in the writing, he says)
Sun hooks the simultaneous phenomena of hyperpop and antipop Hyperpop plastic maximal horrors / cosmic horror capital Cosmic horror Yahweh hermaphrodite haruspex and she traces my intestines incendiaries and lamb of god landmines Hyperpop play paddle puddle horror (Alien vampires have just landed from outer space… in search of the sustenance they need to survive… teenage blood! EVILS OF THE NIGHT)
Maximal machines prima materia material dirty bombs
Maximal machine mammal molotov tinnitus Tinnitus tiamat tintinnabuli (material mashups Material mashups brutalist benjamin Incomplete concrete Incomplete concert chaos Chaos bone spurs spit enlarged tuberosities byzantine icon inflammation / bone blade bondage)
Onomatopoeia osaka bondage Osaka bondage body without organs (my body smothered, sodomized, stretched then sealed tight / titan smooth bodies)
Titanomachy maximalism
titanomachy maximalism where digestion, reference, and elaboration of detail occupy a great fraction of the text Text that tortures serpent leviathan Text that twisted serpent leviathan Text tack-weld tomahawk text tobacco mosaic virus Text trades cantia canticle of canticles text traces (therefore knowing that they can never know what is authentic and inauthentic, attempt to include in their fiction everything belonging to that age, to take these authentic bad inauthentic things as they are with all their uncertainty and inauthenticity included…)
Text twice trace taste text tarantism Text twice teases text torso traces text impressed into my torso thick taste / tommyknocker tenor saxophone improvisations Eye impact improvisation / impact crater cranium Linear (melodic) improvisation stacked text taste taxis vertical (harmonic improvisation) Texts improvises my body-in-flux transhuman text / text human traces Text human traces trail tool steel compositions
Shadow Work Moon Mallet Quartet
Mallet quartet myth and mallet quartet meltdown Mallet quartet myth this work requires additional technological components and / or amplification Amplify archon attack accented apocryphon / apocryphon with syncopation Mallet quartet meteor myth / deconstruction canons Canon cable car carnival / deconstruction carousels Mercury surround mythologies mythology funky monk meltdowns Meltdown moloch malchut lightless deserts Lightless deserts lighthouse sheets of sound sandworms Sheets of sound book of sand slices through by seven swords Seven serpent swords spake subtle sockeye salmon steel (cluttered cemenite spheroids divorced ceminite spheroids)
The manner of appearance of moisture machine myth / myth flat black macrocosm Manner material appearance apparition moistures miniature mannequins / dollhouse desert Dollhouse arkham asylum deserts Yahweh deserts me Yahweh deserts me mannequin marionettes masque of red death Death in the desert and death of the desert my body resists deconstruction then deconstruction daggers fractures my body rhizomes
(I take my time – a kairos korakoram chasm time – splitting then resplitting the texts I open the text another genetics / marriage of heaven and hell genealogies Genealogical hell hermeneutics)
(I take my time – sometimes too much time – exploring the texts as a cubist and I attempt to stretch, twist, and snap the texts from every possible perspective / polyamorous hyperspaces)
(Text texture texts sheets of sound and a long John Coltrane saxophone solo Text repetitions permutations combinations / texts macross missile massacre mess mess moss mythologies mess meat moss mythological mushrooms mushroom head hunters)
(I continue with text and as text text many times multiples multiple myths musics)
Music for mallet instruments, voices, and organs Two female voices (long tones with organs) One female voice (melodic patterns with marimba) Music for mallet instruments, voices, and organs this work requires additional technological components and / or amplifications My body organs amplify bone mallets and bone hammers hammer hell hermeneutics Marrow bolero harrowing of hell god genealogies Long tone texts female trouble / Taryn as transgressive texts Taryn tattletales fox tails transgressive texts / nice girls don’t wear cha-cha heels High heels heals my body thoroughly hunted holes hells / peregrine hawk fools Hawk fool flesh haunted houses Fool flesh rotten mind rotten face
(Where do these people come from? Where do they go when the sun goes down? Isn’t there a law or something?)
Two simultaneously interrelated rhythmic processes Rhythmic riddim rock acid attack archons Interrelated raven rhythms and river rhythms Rough rhythm rock rattle Rough rhythm robber Rough rhythm robber red, her blood my breasts blooming robins redder blood rhythms Redder eel blood rhythms Elohim the face of a bear Yahweh the face of a cat Cat tail rhythms / rhythmic talisman
I stage the works of William Shakespeare with a cast of dogs I stage the works of William Shakespeare with a cast of dogs (Why are you teaching the dogs Shakespeare? Someone’s got to do it)
She crucifies me on a pair of rowing oars
Cross rose Cross rose across the garden across Across again cross cotton gin gods cotton gore coagulated blood blood clots cross Cotton gin gorgon / machine head medusa Cross rose clock tower termites / an absurd amulet containing a crucifixion insect Insects invade other, other another across my bodies the cross Cross wax crayon wheat waves rose words / towards the door we never opened into the rose-garden
She lights the lights rhythm of roses Lights rose rhythm leviathan surrounds this laboratory laboratory serpentine surrounds cleans
(It seems at first sight remarkably disconnected and confused… A close view of the poem does more than illuminate the difficulties; it reveals the hidden form of the work, indicates how each thing falls into place)
Light the lights dream roses rhythm desert circular ruins Buzzsaw desert circular ruins ribbon circular saw circular saw saw is family my flesh flocked gold feathers
Dream roses oak resonance shakes rotates the hidden rose Drum rotates the hidden rose the most secret rose, Christina's unknown name, X excavated ekstasis, the mystery of roses Rose remembers rose, the traced X arkestra insects / insects invade my apartment secret saints cigarettes and saints funeral for a friend flash flood fires Focused point fire body pendulum Body pendulum penis frenulum fatback groove fires Rose fire flesh frenzy flesh frighten (BRIDES OF BLOOD Lusting for women, it terrified the land! See the incredible creature See trees that eat human flesh See the butterfly that attacks men See beautiful girls sacrificed to the Thing! See the pagan rites See CARLA – the girl who would love anyone)
I dream roses as book and their petals peel word blooms and pollen pornography I dream the rose real becoming-nothing and becoming-self or becoming-god, the becoming werden woman engendering other letter and other word
Brides of Blood the bridegroom moves to her
Brides of Blood blotter paper pachyderms Blotter paper alligators Blotter paper vulcan nerve pinch peak vancomycin Vancomycin vampire mushroom votive offerings
I offer my internal organs in the serpent altar music for mallet instruments, voices, and organs Church pipe organ and serpent penises / leviathan cathedral My flesh filtered through Yahveh’s serpent phallus Fiendish physics float flesh, a rag doll physics rhythm Rag doll physics jazz fusion rhythms and I sidewind severed word rhythms Secret word sidewinds word frame drum flesh and my flesh flies witch’s broom bloom roses
Conversations With Asia Rain 05/09/2020 3:42 PM
I’m thinking about naming my Aquarian deck, says Asia. What names are you thinking of? Virgil. That makes me think of Virgil who lead Dante through hell and purgatory. Exactly. I haven’t thought of any others but I plan on using it a lot for shadow work, so Virgil seems fitting. What exactly does shad work entail? Mostly journeying and crying. But it has to do with looking within yourself, and finding the parts that you repressed, and bringing it back to the surface and dealing with it. So there is your higher self, the person you aspire to be, and your shadow self, the version that you don’t like and hide. I like to think of my shadow self as me when I was a kid. I was a little punk. Rowdy, selfish, loud, opinionated, bossy, says Asia.
I love writing my conversations with my friends and I want to include more conversations but I have resisted My self-doubts say: conversations bore, conversations lack poetic inventiveness and creativity, conversations lack literary qualities… Fuck my self-doubts: I write more conversations I write more everything: pulp, parousia, porneia, prayer Write more create more and the conversations too speak poetries
(See my shadow changing stretching up and over me Soften this old armor Hoping I can clear the way by stepping through my shadow)
(The last time she ever saw him carried away by a moonlight shadow He passed on, worried, and warning carried away by a moonlight shadow)
(Within these twenty-eight stages lie many of the secrets of the ancients, miraculously affecting all things beneath the moon / this wheel every completed movement of thought or life, twenty-eight incarnations, a single incarnation, a single judgment or act of thought)
Chrono Trigger moon armor / moon beam armor magic Chrono Trigger armor forged by the light of the moon Moon magicks medicine Moon mallet quartet and moon music for mallet instruments, voices, and organ
Medial moon median minimal magic Biblical minimalism moon moor ore anchor amulet Amulet insect obelisk architects Insect animatronic oblivion Oblivion ouroboros baked pipe organs
Vision and Mysticism 