I obsess film inland empire I obsess film film body inland empire the empire never ended Fin film fly body film not end but film Film faun fawn fin film no end: no end obsession but film music Film music flows my body Film music flows my body filmed Film music flows my body photograph a graphic violence god A genuine god violent film thrusts fists on bodies / I film my body beach Film body einstein on the beach Empty beach film: empty film experiment overexposed photographs
I photograph my body pornographic I photograph my body low ground nude / my body low loop loupe Photograph body beach naked narwhal tusk lust my ocean body (BEYOND ALL SHAME they were adrift of passion’s troubled sea!)
Film photograph porn flesh: My obscene beach body bloated basking shark book film porn photograph fifty phalluses tombs open and bodies of saints sleeping awake I awake film lust lord fingers lost cut then director’s cut / Ridley Scott’s Final Cut Blade Runner I incorporate into my body puns: I interpolate pun porn the polyphony of penises into my body My queer whore cock body whore of babylon Pun play peculiar body: my bodies between films folders fires My bodies bellow below film bitters cave constellations beach breakers beach breaks abyss Musical puns soda salt assorted sea Pun panic pus hysteria: my hypomanic pitch pivot hysteria Hysteria dorian beach hypodorian
Score body beach film paper airplane experiments
Score score body skims other ski my body scandal My body bodies scandal swims scams / scratched film and film etched pattern welded steel
Score body scorch striations music strings spider scrolls
A master at quickly changing musical scales based on the action of the cartoon, his arrangements complicated, technically demanding
Writing complicates Writing complicates I complicate writing clatter klang cargo melodies Cargo-cult mallet memories melodies unmoored matter Matter as melodies Matter minimal melody minor murmurs
Writing complicates and I tends towards fragments and aphorisms Accidental helictites scraps (bow: the bow’s have a life, though it’s work death) (Homer was an astronomer) I write artifacts: the grain, the distortion, the displacement, the wearing out Like how people like vinyl because it scratches warm: all those sound artifacts giving different texture volume
My body complicated writing compact rose compass cataracts / abyss calls to abyss as the thunder of your cataracts Complicated boy body KHORA: cartoon and comic khora, a crisp film cut closed car then car crash (small penises and fast cars: evidence for a psychological link We found that males, and males over 30 in particular, rated sports cars as more desirable when they were made to feel that they had a small penis)
Compact cholinesterase corticosteroid complicated Incomplete bone complications: cobblestone apple cobbler cranium Cranium chatter hey batter batter swing Uncatered wedding event elephant gun gonads Consubstantial complications: cryptic crag cyclone psyclone Turtledove experiments: text khora climb cathedrals Cathedral chatter hey batter batter swing khora khora swing repetition pattern recognition
Film bed sores scored sound only: only sound ocean Sound ocean bodies only open and I quickly change rhythms I quick change melodies and rhythms charged electric chatter Chatter child drawing ions iambs little lamb you know who made thee I chase change cryptococcus neoformans / lush light lesions Cyst catalyst similar cyanobacterium: FIXED Whatever blocks the will to MAKE IT NEW
Film dream Film dreams automatic surreal animation Film dreams there a dream that comes before the Book Film dream dream dress my obscure body / the sign of resurrection The sigh sign resurrection / complicated conversations
Film dream Film dream book before Book and religion without religion: the ritual of writing ritual writing rips rare rack rich overtone rapids White rapid rapids words wrench rupture Write ritual romantic but new romantic: romantic repetition and romantic experiment spearmint gum For in this new music nothing takes place but sounds: those notated and those not notated Sounds Sound sounds silence intentional incendiary sound singlets Single sound sounds film dream dream field Single split sound not straight-ahead but crooked whooping crane languages and whooping crane words
Word dream fled dream film languages film language dream before Book any Book borrows fires circles fires and circular fires light filament flesh creatures Flesh creature features fog phobias my fat transported to another floor Frequent flier meat mass miles matured milk Matured milk cheese film and film changes Film changes charlie noise heroin noise Heroin noise and I don’t know just where I’m going but I’m going to try for the kingdom if I can
Kingdom Khora; some khora body without body Some khora absent body but unique body benjamin back blade shoulder shoulder bone Shudder shutter bone Shoulder shutter bone solder beach split spike / uncertain beach sputters Beach bone bend blood bone I change out my bone for another bone This bone bark: dog bark and tree bark tree of knowledge of good and evil Book bark bark blood gnosis kenotic film and empty film: underexposed then overexposed film White-and-black flutter film and flicker film dream I dream my flesh as film
I quick change chisel carbon monoxide / mixed exhaust desiring-machine Exhaust exchange machine-complex machine-product machine-sound I sound experiment machines I sound experiment body without organs and I know the room’s name The room’s name open room and the name opens khora Khora opens name room room my body larger Larger khora she lights the lights Larger water khora my body circumfesses flesh open room Open room opening along a transverse circular line / seed vessel body and seed vessel vision
I still dream vision I film vision dream and dream invades vision and vision invades dreams I dream film vision inscribed visions inscribed in and on and as event: new event dream New earth dream quickly changing musics
Rhadinosa a genus of beetles in the family leaf beetles Body symmetry bilaterally symmetric Cellularity multicellular Developmental mode holometabolous
I write more insects I write more insects because Asia loves insects
Something like Visions of Cody except me and Asia
I like certain words and I repeat certain words: KHORA DESERT WORD / WOMAN Quickly changes quite rightly pass for an atheist but still an absolved, absolutely private language in which he speaks to god all the time Not god but a god residue A god fog and god smog: carbon monoxide holy ghosts god itself ghosts but the ghost of the ghost Ghost ghost god ghost abyss ghost absolute
Desert Khora KHORA quick then quickly Khora Some Khora (body without body absent body but unique body place everything the in place of everything place spacing)
Some khora water of the earth earth of the air air of the fire fire of the earth Fire of the earth some khora Some khora out of the new a new way of listening New way listening listen gospels (to you it has been given to know the mysterious of the kingdom of god but the others I speak in parables)
Parable as desert KHORA as if I pray this word As if I pray this woman, to her and from her the arrangement of the hours (my nostalgia for Christianities and my nostalgia for Bibles) (So that looking they may not perceive, and listening, they may not understand) I do not perceive and I do not understand but I continue to write gospel I write GOSPEL GIRLS a master at quickly changing musical styles Polystylistic holy spirits Polystylistic holy spirits rain-chant and coyote song Coyote song Christianities I cantor Christianity psalm cut fatter film and film as flotation device Film as an open eye Eye cut cask then caved entrances of Christian catacombs
I film the floor khora I film the flat khora horse hoof haunted house hash butterfly habitats I film floor fit flex black sea black luna black sol Floor film fit light fixtures unfixed foam / polystylistic styrofoam Polystyle aqua seafoam shame black sol Black sol and you shall be in the Book
What unifies this scripture: all found in the same Book What unifies this gospel green game gospel: all found in the same codex
Everything connects everything and everything follows everything
Everything follows everything quickly changing musics and quickly changing texts / repetition KHORA KING FELIX repetition Repetition KING FELIX KHORA repetition I repeat scripture and wilderness
Intense then intense circulations of scriptures and poetries Intense then intense insects impossible scraping scripture: sister scripture palimpsest eyeball incest Eye insect incest then sexual cannibalism the cauliflower flour of scriptures Scripture many and various mixes
I copy texts then Visions of Cody Asia Among Rivers Conversations Something like Cecil Taylor remixes Morton Feldman
Discontinuity itself becomes a continuity
Conversations with Asia 05/11/2020 5:07 PM
Wasn’t as productive as I would have liked but still good, says Asia. Played a lot of Terraria. But now my fiance is at work and I’m watching YouTube videos and trying not to be bored, she says. I love watching YouTube videos, I say. That's my favorite past time these days. I did attend my online church service today. How did it go? It was lovely. The sermon was on the Holy Spirit. What did they say about the Holy Spirit? Says Asia. A better translation these days of “comforter” might be “coach”. The Holy Spirit is our coach, guiding us and correcting us always in love and through love. It makes us Christs through love, so we love God and love our neighbor, and love our self. That does sound lovely, says Asia. My rector is very cool. You’d like her. She opens prayers with “Father God, Loving Mother…” or uses “Holy One” – beautiful inclusiveness. I think I could use a bit of the feminine in my spirituality, says Asia. My Methodist Pastor once said that we could equally say God the Mother and God the Father and it would be true, I say. God includes and is beyond all gender, and we are limited by language. Men wrote the Bible so of course they sued masculine language most of the time. But God is no limited by only masculine characteristics. If you search for the feminine I believe the Divine will reveal itself as feminine to you. S/he reveals herself as feminine to me many times, I say. I think my view of god has been warped and I view him as very masculine and cruel, says Asia. I think those who insist on a masculine God exlusively tend to also have rigid categorizations of justice and love, I say. They put God into a particular rigid box with which everything is conditioned, and there is no room for the unconditional: unconditional love, hospitality, grace, faith. God has to be free from all our conceptions and categories in order to work in our lives as love, I say.
The unconditional The unconditional I copy Jacques Derrida via John D. Caputo I try by any means possible to retain some semblance of the Christian god: through the apophatic and negative theology, through process theologies, through Paul Tillich’s Ground Of All Being, through the promise of the name of God that stirs in the event of God, but the unconditional forever eludes me No, not the unconditional, but something strange-transcendent, something before the Death of God I don’t know if God dies – the Christian God – but certainly that God abandons The God abandons but then I slay that God for the sake of my sanity (The dead Christ proclaims that there is no god) (I have traversed the worlds. I have risen to the suns, with the milky way I have passed athwart the great waste of space of sky: there is no God… And when I looked up to the boundless universe for divine eye, behold it glare at me from out a socket, empty and bottomless. Over the face of Chaos brooded eternity, chewing it forever, again and yet again. Shriek on, then, discords, shatter the shadows with your shrieking din, for HE IS NOT!)
The universe a giant empty erotic eye socket, an eye socket ejaculating cosmic cum
god gone grey goo genesis
Lift your eyes on high and see: Who created these god gone grey goo gone girl gruesome gospels
god gone gamble gambol game given gore gore khora / cannibal chasm chase chasm cannibal hymn Benjamin bull of sky lives on the being of every god I eat their entrails I knot the cord I eat their magic and gulp down their ankhs
I feel my flesh film on fire Film bull burn discontinuous Film bear butchers block and gods wipe bodies with the feet of women Flesh fuck film fire god dead ferments thousand year old egg Flesh fleet film flesh body without organs (beneath my organs I sense larvae and loathsome worms and god at work messes it up and strangles it by organizing it) (YHVH fucks me up and Bible fucks me up)
This Book too fucks further out flesh free jazz and without gods improvises (God is dad perhaps, said Gerard de Nerval one day to the writer of these lines, confounding progress with god, and taking the interruption of movement with the death of being)
This God – any god gasoline graffiti genocide – cartoon god merry melodies massacres This god any god Jon Arbuckle motherfuckers / god a loser as big as me god charlie brown pull the football jumbotron giant forehead god bastards I survive the god dies I photograph god’s corpse a Shiur Qomah galactus nickolodeon gak
The power of sound breath ritual moved object towards the telos of the Poet-Magus The words have no meaning the name of god The words spell spectre and speculating the ghost name of god Language wobbles word juggler jehovah, iota-alpha-omega (Paleo Hebrew Divine Name Y-H-V-H rendered into Koine Greek as Iota-Alpha-Omega, Yaoh, Leviticus 4:27 of Septuagint (LXX) manuscript 4Q120. Fragment dated c. 1st century BCE, from the Dead Sea Scrolls. Found at Qumran)
Kyrios Khora Kataclysm Krystal Kyrios Khora Katabasis Krystal Kyrios Khora KING FELIX Unfixed flesh rare rarer room
Month: February 2024
the tasseled wobbegong shark
I work films flapper girl garage bands I file film flat a flattop haircut (I had a flattop as a kid but I haven’t seen anyone with a flattop since) (I feel an intense mental block, something like my version of a writer’s block where the rigid demarcations and tight knots I have applied to my own writing seizes me and I freeze: I feel too precious with the text, as if the text must be protected from contamination and intrusion by “ugly” forces, “cringe” forces, “banal” forces, “boring” forces A kind of creative xenophobia I still distinguish between one type of notebook and another: this my brainstorming and scratch notebook, not worthy of my “real” notebook, even though the demarcations between thought-process creative improvisation-edit-rewrite-copy already has arbitrary justifications I fence myself off – I fence like good fences make good neighbors – and I do not allow myself to express myself in totality, wholly, fully, as a Son of Man and Son of Humanity: Child of Humanity wholly creative and creation) I work films flapper girls these girls ghost dance ghost trance musics and the process of writing punches aporia the porous plane of my bodies
I flatten my body film then fire and the film fire first thrusts his fists into posts and pretends he doesn’t see ghosts Ghost punch film score furnace fugue body frigid fugato symphony of psalms fugato Symphony of psalms my body film asymmetry I flatten my body film then fire cannibal ferox and the Book eats my body whole mouth fire in mouth monstro My mouth whales word woman monstro and amidst the mists and coldest frosts he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts Several ghost fires Several ghosts writings rhizome ephemera / my eye floods she lights the lights My eye floods she lights my body fidget jump escalation film fires Film fire fugue strafes this is my fight song
Rain-chant curds-and-whey walk train whistle Rain-chant Asia rains rescuers down under (for a long time, I did not realize The Rescuers Down Under was a sequel – a sequel of course to the 1977 film The Rescuers) Rain-chant child of humanity cinema (cinema the autonomous art the cinema never copying the stage cinema essentially visual fulfills the evolution of paintings: detached from reality, from photography, from graceful and solemn / sermon) Rain-chant Asia round rain stations of the cross shelby cobra chassis and the cross as bronze cobra simultaneously wounds and heals (The wound can only be healed by the spear that made it) Rain-chant cross saw sword drought and the tongue of fire devours the stubble; dry grass sinks into flame, their root rottenness, their blossoms up to dust
My flesh contorts film: film distorts and displaces tabernacle pillars My flesh fillets film figurative and form and when working on film scores, remove my stomach and position the organ within a mexican standoff Mexican soundoff soundstage some sounds: rain-chant curl television coral Rain-chant red coral curl comb mask of a weeping woman / rain face coal brain violently creased with sadness and torn by bitter tears and disheveled hair Rain-chant weeping woman hourglass canvases (All portraits of me are lies. They're Picasso. Not one is Dora Maar)
Rain-chant film cuts Chant cold cuts cutting agent / crack cut benzocaine crack cut with procaine
Rain-chant stations of the cross coyote song Chant cross coyote song (I love old things, they make me feel sad. What's good about sad? It’s happy for deep people) (I listen to the radio and NF’s Happy plays I don’t think it’s a good song and its lyrics rub melodramatic but I feel embarrassed that I relate to some of the lyrics: Living in my agony watching my self-esteem go up in flames, acting like I don't care what anyone else thinks… The truth is I need help but I just can’t imagine who I’d be if I was happy… These lyrics embarrassingly highlight my own self-destructive tendencies and my self-hatred and loathing I hope to transform my mindset towards something like Mineral’s Parking Lot: But I know I’ve got to live my life – and roll around on the ground and feel the strife – and realize along the way that I’m nothing more than – a grain of salt in the salt of the earth, and everything is grace… A grace not from god or gods but out of the ground of girls / girls night out and through the yard of blonde girls)
When working on film scores When working work women the grace of girls and the ground grace of girls / grace thinks I’m a failure Grace thinks I’m a failure and she said I’m a shining star in her sky and I feel that far away
Film cut cut nails cut the manuscript cut costs cut the whiskey with water (Cut film cut a calf out from the herd / cut film the driver cut out from the herd / cut film the driver cut the steering wheel) Film cut I experiment with film and photographic flows pornographic flows flesh cut film forever expanding bodies and forever extending bodies Body extended Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay Shiur Qomah monsters (monster against monster for the lost continent of mu GODZILLA VS. MEGALON) I film my body written horror and written religion / not written religion but ritual Ritual rain-chant coyote song chant ritual You are the one who writes and the one who is written: my body written rain-chant ritual and coyote song rhizome Written song: the song of my lewd body and nude lust body body lights the lights (I have a difficult time loving my body and loving myself – I attempt to write a language of body-love and body-sex and body-god)
The Bible fucks you up, I say. This is true, says Asia. I need to fuck the Bible, I say. I always have trouble with sexuality is why I write it terribly. Am I an idiot in how I write? Like am I just fumbling around cringe all the time? Do you think I write sexuality and sex and pornography cringely? I say. I don’t think so, says Asia. I don’t think it’s possible not to write it in a cringe way in a way. Like it’s awkward and clumsy and vulnerable and messy. If you don’t write it like that, it’s not genuine, says Asia.
I write not depth but desert surface I write not depth but everything surface no hierarchy Everything surface surface of my body surfaces bodies every thing / every body Every body shallow water word no hierarchy (like John Cage, I venture towards my telos of destroying syntax and semantics: only word flow and rhythm Spontaneous word spark holy spirits Sound signals sigils) (The words have no meaning but the song means, take it, I give it to you) Write flatter film song my skin psalms anarchic sin / Sonny Rollins’ Freedom Suite I listen to David S. Ware’s arrangement of Freedom Suite I don’t free myself from language but I try a freer language Freer language and flexible language flowing formless form over the features of my flatter body / my body entirely face and my body entirely fires I free my flesh over the field of languages This language feminine girl grace and girl ground through the yard of blonde girls yardbird book sheol and my eye sucks like breast the freer chains churn stations of the cross Don’t play the butter notes churn cream stations of the cross
I experiment film the flow of metaphor chains and exchanges intensities (black sol black luna black sea) Experiment film work print train pistons (two primary movements rotation and sexual movement combines stripper pole columns the locomotive's wheels and pistons)
I introduce intriguing discrepancies, delighted newness, and bio babel / flat deserts no depths but horizontal dunes I drink dune damascus steel donavan dance valley of dolls Valley of the dolls beyond the valley of the dolls disparate desert dumah Horizontal dunes desperate sleet dumah
When working on film scores, Carl Stalling would incorporate his musical puns… His chose popular songs whose titles fit the onscreen gags… His melodic quotations were often brief, sometimes not lasting more than four seconds ball gag god Ball gag god bull’s balls Bouncy ball ball gag unidentified flying object god Ball object bone gag Boner gag girls (Joker ejaculates: Gotham will rue the day it mentions the word boner!) Ball bull egg eye Bald Bull boxes speed balls and medicine balls then hum Yahweh pummels human balls as bald bull gag ball burnings Ball gag gasoline bull boners (So! They laugh at my boner, will they?! I’ll show them! I’ll show them how many boners the Joker can make!)
A bull god gag A bull god gag paper beatdown gag Gag nag hammadi a Pun of a locomotive’s wheels and pistons Gag game pun languages: language game batman gambits A bull god murder in the red barn: ball gag don’t go into that barn
Gag reel gag film gang foam my flesh overgrows, for in this new music nothing takes place but sounds Freedom suite freer sounds and sweeter sounds God gone but gag here: the gun that fires a flag with BANG! The gun gulf girl’s no grey Sun gulf surf girls geological guillotine Gag grim reaper scythes secret codex my cotton ball body My cotton gin gin and tonic gag body Gag gut microflora film score microflora unidentified flying object / objects resembling models of other animals’ organs eject from my bones Nonmagnetic molar tooth nonsense Mammoth molar tooth opium tincture
As for the newness, out of the new system comes a new way of listening
New film new writing New film new written religion without religion: ritual Ritual river rhizome (the multiple must be made, not by always adding a higher dimension but subtracting one Subtracted sun one Subtracted only sun one son of humanity Another ritual – this ritual – the writing Write film cut write sounds only Sounds only no meaning in words or no meaning by translation into-other-words but it functions It functions film cut and film score and I quote Luciano Berio’s Sinfonia I quote Gustav Mahler’s Symphony No. 2’s scherzo movement Scherzo samples scatter-scurry scherzo and I stretch or sketch the time longer walking strides Stride strand swan strider / stimmung bionic command
When Work Cut Aggressively Across
Now my soul pours out within me: days of affliction take hold of me: the night racks my bones and the pain that gnaws me: with violence it seizes my garment: it binds me about like the collar of my tunic
The bible as ghost floats flesh ghost ship shiver me timbers ghost ship talk like a pirate day ghost ship goonies One-Eyed Willy’s treasure map The bible as ghost floats flesh ghost ship and the wire whips across the dance floor bisecting the passengers and crew
(A runabout? I’ll steal it: no one will ever know!) (A Bible? I’ll steal it! No one will ever know!) (A ghost ship? I’ll steal it! No one will ever know!)
For that a fire which consumes unto Abaddon, and it would burn to the root all my increase
Beast from the earth and beast from the sea bibliomancy
I feel my flesh fragrant flipphone fires: my flesh fishes freight fire don’t fuck with the formula Fire experiments flavor text energies Mad medicine magic, a magick mix moment foam form flesh alchemical matrix I feel my flesh flake as oven baked fish fisherman mackerel fires Flesh front fathom: unfixed fathom flatted fifths A fisherman’s fresco painted with my flesh / skin serpent pigment I paint splatstick splatterpunk funk flesh dragonball z fusion dance Paint pack splatterpunk jackalpacks / displaced desert Displace desert place splatterpunk triboelectric sulfur sulfur my skin swims with insects Sulfur my skin splits insects oh you are sick Skin sulfur leviathan lesions sponge speech (Prayer fixed? His supplication bears no fruit What fixed? Whatever blocks the will to make it new) (You, everyone in your dream)
I feel my flesh slough sulfur: flat sulfur skating rink raw dream skating rink rhizome dream drips liquid metals Liquid lush lyrical lights and lyrical leviathan: lap lines laugh lights lipids
I feel my flesh fugitive fat fat flee freak frequent flesh flesh different degrees of fire Flesh several intensities of fire My flesh finger fossils frozen tundra tetragrammaton Severed toes tetragrammaton chopped toes tap dance tetragrammaton
(Just because something bears the aspect of the inevitable one should not, therefore, go along willingly with it)
Inevitability ire works disintegrations / sparkle motion desiring-machine apocalypse Inevitable tail texts wood lathe leviathan Tail torn text tear lathe leviathan luc’s lantern sulfur (The bricoleur adept at performing a large number of diverse tasks: my closed universe of instruments My closed universe of instruments infinite material material heterogeneous Material material heterogeneous human I photograph human material mixed materials metal / book bricolage Book bible bricolage not babel but tool I tool babel inevitable: inevitable Book My get my tools and materials always finite and heterogeneous and I bricoleur book no relationship to any particular project but the pile-up of constructions, the labyrinth of languages
Inevitable Christ incarnations: an invisible – no, not invisible but a vertical violence, up upwards upheaval hell Hell in a dream I dream (to work in a dream: if it’s real and you believe in it, you can say almost anything) I write the river experience: I write river dream body body looking at the ceiling My body body bald materials I was looking at the ceiling and then I saw the sky My skin slips separate I’ll steal it no one will ever know My skin slips separate fault flesh Flesh flesh fault plane Fault flesh fresh fault trace Flesh fresh fresh flusters clusters parallax faults / fault zone beyond the zero at zebra My flesh friction metafiction transmigration of timothy archer
Inevitably incarnations of Christ: the holy ghost brings about the Christification of many Inevitable interest intense compound interest rates intersect compound insect eyes My simple eye sliced kassandra compound eye khora My eye khora and kenosis My eye kenosis and khora Krystal: I kill her cross The face of her cross cross inscribes in and out and as EVENT: event earth and erotic (SIN IS A REDHEAD)
My skin sloughs serpent sin skin sin sinkhole separation No separation not separation none: my sense of experimental as ongoing research Research rhizome skin fault zone skin shells several Several no separation not separation similar repetition I dream the river and I write the rivers
(The goals have heard this before but… fourteen years ago I had an operation on my left arm here. The doctor said that I wouldn’t be able to ever use it. But what the hell do they know, I said. So I rubbed it for half an hour every day. And slowly I could move it a little, and use it to turn a faucet… and pretty soon I had my aim back again. And how I can’t feel a damn in it. All numb! I’m afraid to cut it you know?)
I turn on flesh as faucet I turn on the faucet as flesh Faucet flesh normal fault and drag folds My flesh faucet fault sense of slip Sense of slip no separation not separation solitary confinement / black iron prison Black iron prison PIT STOP NYMPHO into the high tension world of the Grand Prix racing roars jealous passions, red-hot lust and the ugly demon called homicide!
I feel my writing in translation and my self in transition I don’t feel sure about this writing: I feel unsure about the writing and it ever appears to me at clumsy, awkward, terrible overlaps But I continue writing and I continue conducting experiments and working writing I want to try a polystylistic shifting approach to writing: my conversation with Christina and Asia, rhythm and syntax experiments, meditations of myth and music, metacommentary and a simplicity I fear simple writing: I push my writing into what makes me uncomfortable I push perhaps towards that idea of cringe, sincerity, and even sentimentality and nostalgia Multiplicity and plateaus: the compilation and car crumple zone of books and bibles
My flesh fault slip My flesh faucet fault throw My flesh fresh faucet fault throw / microfault showing a piercing point
(I still have the attitude of experiment in the piece I’m doing, I am excited to be discovering new possibilities, even with techniques I’ve used extensively)
I experiment dream: I dream experiment Experiment dreams me: dream experiments me Often dreams often experiments desiring-machine maelstroms triboelectric sulfur (and now I see with the eye serene the very pulse of the machine) Machine experiments desiring-machine (the schizophrenic table body without organs The body without organs body without image Imageless body organless body nonproductive perpetually reinserted PROCESS PRODUCTION Process production my body breaks down my flesh writing My flesh pours out the slough of fluids faucet slime My flesh faucet floods slime frak unfixed faucet fractures (I recall reading in one of my Peanuts Anniversary books, Charles Schulz comments something to the effect that the long character development and changes happen unintentionally and by focusing on day-to-day gags, nothing too catastrophic happens in terms of narrative transformation – catastrophic in terms of negative change or running out of ideas, I guess I too work routine and daily and I decide just to work daily and keep working and have faith the book will transform itself into must it needs to be Change and transformation happens inevitably and I decide to go along willingly with it I accept inevitable TRANSFORMATION and I assist TRANSFORMATION: geological processes My flesh faults hews throws slips fault flesh) (I would just feel just terrible if I couldn’t draw comic strips, says Schulz. I would feel very empty if I were not allowed to do this sort of thing)
I share some early writing with Asia:
I was writing about stripping like the erotic dance and its history. So I have been writing about its precursors and such. I come across this idea in the process and I thought you’d like it:
I dance desert I belly dance desert behemoth: I belly dance desert baphomet I belly dance desert bahamut NEO bahamut bahamut ZERO: Tera Flare Tarn Apocalypse The unveiling and revealing of my nude vision body (My Body IS the Revelation of the Divine: the I AM Body and I AM material...)
The idea anyway that my nude body, is actually the purest form of the body of god. my body is the revelation of the universe. and i think that goes for any body, even the most pornographic and lustful of bodies – I want to say that the human naked form and naked sex, what is contradictory to "puritanical Christianity" - is closer to the divine than what Christianity wants bodies to be.
I thought you'd appreciate this thought I came across when writing.
Some more I notes I wrote:
My Naked Zebra Body Revelation and Apocalypse / Deterritoralized Apocatastasis heaven and hell hypostasis Hypostasis hyperstasis kenotic hypomania My Body KHORA more real and divine than any scripture or any named or imaginable god My Body KHORA nameless desert and nameless city of the accursed more holy and whole than Yahweh
This ends the selection I sent to Asia I love conversing with Asia and I talk to her more than any other person and sometimes I feel tempted to just have the Book (specially, the recent Opossums For Asia Rain volumes) entirely of our conversations Our version of Visions of Cody Someday I hope for courage for such a project but I still contain too much ego I inscribe the Book with my ego: my ego traced retraced re-inscribed Book: Book as scripture, codex, palimpsest, and I hope someday sequential art: comic book, comic strip, graphic novel I desire more of everything Don’t leave anything out – play all of it
When working on film scores, Carl Stalling would incorporate his musical puns. He would choose popular songs whose titles fit on the onscreen gags. His musical quotations were often brief, sometimes not lasting more than four seconds.
Film score phantom rate Film score phantom time hypothesis Film score biofilm turntable scratches Flatter film fires and I score screech owl often open door desert I work film: I work flesh I work film free jazz joy buzzers Film fell from my body natural organ photography, a fast food body horror Big Mac desiring-machines Whopper Junior culture jamming Work film psychogeography / photograph mass psychogenic illness Illbient beats free jazz minotaur horns Minotaur tenor saxophones I work film when: when I work film When I work film what film worship: flesh worship I worship what women I worship when women then film I work film write film when walk I random walk film Random walk film wire I draw wire film for film and I write when wire the wheel I walk wheel I walk wheel iron film and steel wool wheel (steel wheel I’ll steal it! No one will ever know)
I feel film the wasp work of my body and my body balls horror (New horror! Mad science spawns evil fiends! … Taking form before your horrified eyes! FIEND WITHOUT A FACE) My body horror film tools and implements Horror film bricolage and sumptuous psychogeography / the walking then running trace retrace camp crystal lake
Score film fool film work score film fool foll folly work I work wheel writing and film writing work wheel write film write rat-a-tat-tat total tatooine onomatopoeia
Scored scripture: scripture cut into the fold Scripture folded into the cut Scripture cut into cut castle repetition Slasher film repetition and I work repeatedly final girl Benjamin final girl survives against a killer god, the god of the knife, chainsaw, and scalpel The god who wrecks gruesome violence against human bodies, detailed dismemberments, and bible beheadings benjamin final girl survives the killer god and overcomes him
Cut film cut into my body weeping woman wound Cut Film cut cut my body wounds weeping women Cut cries children cut cries women cut cries birds Cut cries smoke pricking the shoulder strew cauldron rain birds gnaw bones sea and cut breaks its teeth biting cotton wool sun Cut plate purse pocket wide in print foot leaves the rock cut
God cuts then God cuts film Cut one’s hang with a knife Her sarcasm cut him to the quick Cut his across the legs wit ha whip Cut a tennis ball with an inclined racket The toddler is cutting a tooth
When working on film scores cut When work cut aggressively across Cut clean Christina’s cunt Christina shoves a roll of film up her cunt Upwards word whistles cut wound weeping women
When work film, cut fold scripture fat water tower water fountain I film water Film water writing for the second time through finnegans wake When work riverrun rhizomes, fault zone dreaming Brittle fault zone rhizome book: book riverrun nylon ray film fat cuts into my Body My body fat cuts lithographically heterogeneous / anakin skywalker structurally anistrophic discontinuities Argon structuralist film anistrophies Argon structuralist film anistrophies Adonai argon structurally anistrophic discontinuities: discontinuous apophatic theology
When work film strike-slip slick funk disco Work when film dip-slip flapjacks furious jacking off Matador masturbation Mirror merlot masturbation Film hooked on phonics fleer card ejaculation
Shit experiment. Can it. Can-Can dance. Dramatic O Fortuna. Shit experiment. Can it. Ashcan copy. Can Halleluwah (oh you asked me thursday, for her name so she was to go where I was singing Mushroom Head Oh Yeah Paperhouse) Shit experiment. Can it. I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal, you sockdologizing old man-trap)
I work in films I work in books I work in strip clubs and sex shows I work scripts spalding sorcery orthrombic crystal sulfur (the marble index of a mind forever: voyaging through strange dead of thought alone)
The Experiment And Experience Of Writing As Research And Process
Anarchic animation: limited animated transformed at the threshold liminal animation Trickster animation, an atelos terror chaos / Leprechaun in Space Hellraiser in Space Jason Voorhees in Space A spacious animation / desert heteroglossia Myself animated anew without name and the desert / anything desert but god Anything desert khora newly animated no name but woman No name but KRYSXTRYN Khora Asia Among Rivers: come, ascend the ladder, all come in, all sit down KRYSXTRYN Khora Asia Rain: all come four times with your showers, descend to the base of the ladder and stand still
Write anarchic ladder rain: rain rhizome rain, Rashied Ali multidrectional Multidirectional dyad desert then desert drone harmolodics Desert anticipates limited animation Desert anticipates Dover Boys limited animation and I maximum limited into liminal: Benjamin between thresholds Benjamin blues between bow through threshold: the haunted stations of the cross Stations of the cross desert hauntology / atelos midnight train Taryn tannin
My haunted gospel language: my haunted chariot wheel hymn languages
I tetter through texts nameless noise noise pottery poetry and noise language
It’s not what they do: it’s the ardor with which they do it
Composition, performance, ambition, or observation: really different things
Different things desert in desert write wildernesses
(To write without gods To rediscover gospel and prophecy without gods) (I create multiple languages Absurd languages Nonsense language Aleatoric languages Anarchic languages Anarchic languages Languages at play languages Languages contra counterpoint kontrapunkte languages)
Polyamorous polystylisms
I adore word as raw material: word word brick word word concrete music concrete babel brutalist benjamin I adore my language languages, a polyglot finnegans wake woman and women
I have a difficult relationship with poetry, I say. I don’t consider myself a poet but just about everyone who has read my writing considers it poetry. That's pretty funny to be honest, says Asia. It’s because of your relationship with words. If words were a fish, then you are a sushi chef: cutting, arranging. Normal writers don’t do that. Just think of it this way: they aren’t trying to say that you write stuff that reminds them of poetry – they are talking about how you use words when you write and there isn’t anything wrong with that. Poets are powerful when they realize what they can do, like Dr. Frankenstein taking body parts from a murdered language and creating a new creation defying the laws of nature, says Asia.
My language loosen more room monstrosities Write erotic horror languages: don’t leave anything out play all of it Write rhizomatic erotic bodies horror languages / reveled in the word spool Spool spell gospel garden glass limited animation
Now I begin IMMEDIATE desert khora samples khora my nothing body oblivion Nothing body ouroboros awful something fell from aloft leviathan Khora samples khora samael soluble texture / water-soluble vitamin visions Water-soluble spirit lesion / spirit spills spell the trace of the body Spirit spills bloody spell book traces body through bore belly diamond Spirit spills sprawl bodies tumors semen bloody hair spawn sinew Spirit spills my skeleton screeches lilith lights and light leviathan and spirit swarms serpents and scorpions
Spirit sprites ghost spermatozoa squirm my body traces tall sprawl Body my body traces electronic sprawl wire scripture Scripture chops my body liminal animation Scripture chops my body bodies bear gold bar books Books trace interior god glottis then god grand guinol guts Grand guinol ghost trace music then trace Then my body traces Mr. Brown can moo can you Then pine ten big fat hen my body traces desert nonsense: my illegible and indecipherable wilderness My body sighs gospel macrocosm-microcosm chasomos of alchemy
Trace the then trace threshold Trace then the threshold trace tron tetragrammaton I trace tetragrammaton as an empty signifier and empty reference (Name kenosis Name kenotic khora I pour my body and god’s names empty from me My body haunted name reshimu / tehiru taryn hauntology)
Don’t leave anything out – play all of it Play out of it Play inside outside outer darkness fires Don’t leave traces but trace inside outside outer concentric circles: the trace negative inscribed in and out and as the event Trace inscribes in out as erotic event Erotic event explicit earth languages (Ben Adam was stuck with running a factory with a staff of provocative and unpredictable women… THE GARMENT INDUSTRY GIRLS)
Write trace worm weeds will ward tasted would weave Vital trace vines as velvety vowels out nymph new outer darkness Basket weave trace backbone viscous woman first bestial flesh by appears believe Trace trace take trace Taryn trace trace I trace play platypus platoon bunker-prayer
I trace play John The Baptist’s head on a silver platter and even the beheaded body still plays dead then undead underneath Dead then undead underground the jealous god subverted by gnostics (When he saw creation surrounding him, and the throng of angels around him that had come forth from him, he said to them: I am a jealous god and there is no other god besides me. By announcing this, he suggested to the angels with him that there is another god. For if there was no other god, of whom would he be jealous?)
I trace texts and I copy texts I sign and sample the text as my own yet I own nothing but the collective gods anarchy I abhor atheism and I despise Christianity I probably still believe in an omnipresent god, but this god abandons me daily (god is an asshole, Asia repeatedly says to me) Study Death of God theologies Study pantheism, panentheism and process theologies I play my body postmodern postmodern poetics and theologies, and although I will never have faith in any metaphysical god again, I transform the ideas and texts into my god-body and material-body-divine I adore philosophies, theologies, and scripture as machines for generating ideas, concepts, WORDS, languages
Is in on an event erotic kenosis and erotic bodies I do not prophesy gods but I prophesy words, languages, women Like William Blake purposefully and Philip K. Dick accidentally, I invent my own myth I create myself myths I attempt to create and recreate myself and my self-as-myth without god Without christian god and without any transcendent god I demand my gods as radically immanent, fully divine because they are fully human, totally human without father and mother but then the genealogies ground FLAT FLESH flesh underneath no names but underground human guts shaking Human guts vibrating human guts grouped communal
I limit myself nothing but animations: animating dead Seven sermons to the dead then undead urban bodies and uptown bodies overturned my flesh limited / unlimited Limited unlimited: liminal Body heavy hearth heterotopia Utopia underground underneath then sea urchin uni urinal all holy fluids from my body
The trace of the signature lighthouse and library Haunted lighthouse lightyears tracery threadtern haunted library Haunt hard determinism library leviathan ghosts intercostal bones
Write no outside or inside but writing / you are the one who writes and the one who is written You who writes you who written real tracings Trace real trace imaginary icon tracings Icon tracings stone traces desert tome home haunted wilderness Home haunted nag hammadi wilderness Trace real trace imaginary icon tracings Icon tracings stone traces desert tome home haunted wilderness Home haunted nag hammadi wilderness
(A runabout? I’ll steal it! No one will ever know!)
Steal Steal repeat steal bebop rhythm Steal repeat no repeat but steal: maximal steal Maximal steal myth music mathematics Minimal steal mimic limited animation and stations of the cross cuts my movements against any infinitely scrolling background Steal size sale steal Sail steal size sale steal I steal holy spirit I steal holy ghost pseudepigrapha My body grasps then maps small digit manipulation I manipulate maps marionettes netta netta nets my body void video-on-demand desert nothing Manipulate maps amorphous free meter wilderness neti neti nets fishers of men body between manacles Body bosom bondage
I push my body purloined letter I push bodies letters of torah and sayings of torah, undead tunnel tetragrammaton gears bodies gravel Gravel no ground ground no gods Push bodies my body all ground all gods
A runabout rhizome A runabout boxing ring rhizome A runabout relay delay replay rhizome
I steal and revise rhizome as rhizome book scrap swamp skunk spray (write as library write as experiment write as play write as experiment write as play write as process) (I guess all my work can really be called experimental, he said, but in a different sense from how John Cage used the word, and a bit different from how it’s been sued to describe the experimental tradition… It’s more literally an experiment, like a scientific experiment, and in science, in scientific work, one experiment always does lead to another… My sense of ‘experimental’ is just ongoing research)
Research repetition: research rhizome Research anything: research say anything (The iconic Sharp GF-7600 Boombox that John Cusack held above his head) If one writing experiment fails, write another experiment Write experiment experience exegesis Exegesis PKD desert runabout transmigration of timothy archer I search something in desert, no secret scriptures but something dark Something dark deep burrow book, where I confront this ugly writing, and this ugly embarrasses me
I feel there’s too much to write often, I say to Elizabeth. I feel like there’s nothing to write often, says Elizabeth. I feel I repeat myself often. Trying to find new themselves to delve into, she says. Repetition is difference, I say. I shall meditation on that, she says. There was a philosopher named Gilles Deleuze, I say, and he has a book called Difference And Repetition, and in this book he develops a metaphysics where identify is not the foundation but difference. Every repeat is a difference. Even if just different in time. There is no identical moment of time because time moves forward and cannot be captured in NOW. So imagine your repetition as a different expression. Because it is a difference expression because the time changes always. When I meditated on this naive understanding of Deleuze, I freed myself from the idea I was repeating myself. I never repeat myself. My repetition inscribes me in difference. I am changing always and my writing is changing too. Write and figure it out later, you know. Or I just copy other stuff. Your stuff will come out of it in the copying, I say. You may have just unblocked my brain, says Elizabeth. I’m going to get back to it. I’ll start scheduling time to write everyday, says Elizabeth. I just flipped through a notebook, I say, and one line says: it’s not filler, it’s exploration. Go out and explore, I say.
I make water of the earth and earth of the air and air of the fire and fire of the earth
Do not fear repetition: do not fear repeating texts or even retreading texts, for the exact regurgitation remains impossible Keep writing: keep failing: keep experimenting Revive old ideas and texts and reexamine them Make them new Every writing a first writing Every writing a first writing Every inscription a first inscription Everything inscription a first inscription Every signature and trace first first flesh embodied ben body signature and trace
I make water of the earth and earth of the air and air of the fire and fire of the earth Evening earth various fires Evening immediate earth variety show fires Evening immediate even number earths emperor of ice cream eros and I eat eros emerald inclusions lidless eyes and my eyes includes inclusion icicles Eye eye earth fire eye eye erotic Eye eye earth fire eye eye eater Eye white pearly as a dead eye turned up in its socket
A runabout eye A an eye innard glancing come on up you fearful jesuit guts A an eye inner exudate sweeping wound eyes Eyes heterodoxy dressing then desert debridement A runabout eye robbing eye / I steal eye interior earth of fire and fire of water I baptize eyes water water glands the size and shape of eggs and of a pearly whiteness faintly bloodshot like that of a globe of the eye
A runabout eye and a runny egg eye An eye sunny side up An eye hard boiled detective fiction I repeat eye my eye robs runabout inside locusts Locust light little death transmigration Transmigration midnight monarchs / music murk a scanner darkly
Eye digests my eye erotic body rhythm An eye intrigues Intrigue eye introduces discrepancies delighted new I make new: black sea black luna black sol Black sol eye sea sand shell black Black sol eye simmer sea eye frying pan pull bull body and my bodies burn black sea black luna black sol
My eye insists not mine but more fire and eyes slough sea salt empty socket eye eater (These girls do exactly what you think they do! CANNIBAL GIRLS The picture with a warning bell! When it rings – close your eyes if squeamish!) I do not lose my eyes but my eyes cut screen screams film flask flesh Alchemical flask flesh flash
My eye peers peeping tom pornographic My eye peaks peeping thomas the twin pornography a gay romp of Jesus Christ with his disciples (hidden sayings sashay hidden body body naked)
Inevitable eye alphabet Inevitable eye mickey mouse clubhouse hot dog dance Eye iron ingot inevitable horrors (Just because something bears the aspect of inevitability one should not, therefore, go along willingly with it)
Tyranosaurus rex transmigration of souls
Experimental as in ongoing research
I write clumsy walking but I work to walk I work to write walking not clumsy but claptrap clatter catastrophe I write Keith Rowe changing his tabletop guitar set-up and again becoming unfamiliar-familiar through performance improvisation (apologies: despite the obvious appearance of spontaneity, I heavily edit I edit Can cutting four hour improvisations into a studio recording and Giacinto Scelsi arranging and orchestrating loud piano improvisations I work and strive to write Cecil Taylor)
I write awkward stumble down slinky spiral staircase Spiral staircase haunting of hill house Hill house hauntologies
(I still have the attitude of experiment in the piece I’m doing, I’m excited to be discovering new possibilities, even with techniques I’ve used extensively)
Experiment eyeball energies Experiment eye energies an eerie eros Experiment exceeds eye but more energy Rush against the beat Push fast against the pulse push fast pulp pulse play psalm patterns I read palm light lossless looped over nonlinear burned orange
Conversations With Asia 05/14/2020 3:03 AM
I have been thinking about writing and its relationship to Christianity, I say. What are your thoughts on it? says Asia. There is a certain kind of reversal or overturning of biblical texts in my writing. Right now I’m writing about this text from Isaiah where God declares the destruction of Edom and how his sword will be full of blood. I have been subjecting the writing to the crucifixion and blood of Christ, the victim of violence and the metaphorical sword. One thing I should say I truly believe writing is my spiritual calling and I do occupy the role of a kind of modern day prophet. So I do take it very seriously even though it is very crazy. Sounds interesting, says Asia. One of my projects is a kind of rewriting of the Bible, I say. My Book is a bible in a sense. I’m always concerned with how delusional I am… I don’t think it’s crazy, says Asia.
I Stain Black Canvas Book
I meditate on Jacques Derrida’s Religion Without Religion I contemplate John C. Caputo’s Weak Theology The immediate religion of the desert and recreate ritual I arcade real ritual circle, a seattle slew serious cyclotonic time Sirius cyclotomic time stretch musics / trickster time bugs bunny Yahweh I stain canvas time black tricksters / trickster blues I stain canvas surveys studio stereo my death in spain I stain shaped canvas monochrome chrome-tanned leather smales I stain canvas skull stitched dead man’s switch Dead man switch slight of hand hisses the phantom in regular size Paper sizing time seizes time trickster prayer and I no longer pray but write I write without prayer and without god but roads ritual Write ritual rhizome Write rhizome ritual requires physical bodies: material body rhizome material body circular ruins not root but rhizome writings
Not a religion (or even religion without religion) but the creative ritual: ritual utterly real and ritual risk real I write the real of my body Write the real of body bodies abyss real porcupine plectrum bottomless pit Pit immediately real ritual ritual real Pit immediate play real: real raw direct cinema body and my body biofilm fleers eye floaters fungus fucks my kidneys bottomless pit: an absolved, absolutely private language where I speak to God all the time / the god abandons me and I speak new languages I speak novel languages secret and I name secret I name secret secret names a retrograde of the convergent-divergent crossplay
I invent new language but not (only) my language but KRYSXTRYN languages and Asia Rain languages A creative ritual and a creative ritual (I take my religions language to the cross and crucify it) (Although I crucify my religious language and Christian language, it invents insidious hauntological) (haunted languages and holy actions ghost languages) I married a monster from outer space Christian specter languages
Languages vines veneer brittle victims vanishes the speculum that doesn't shine variety of varieties
Languages usurped languages up the undulant unstrings whip cigarette languages
Languages improvisations attack activities ash and languages / language bone awl bone folder
Conversations With Asia Rain 05/14/2020 8:47 AM
It’s interesting because I’ve done a lot of reading and thinking about the dichotomy of education, says Asia. We believe that it is always a tool for good and growth but it has historically be used for evil. It’s interesting how it can be used for growth of other and for control, and spiritually in the same way, she says. As a teacher, how do you use that knowledge to approach how you impart education? I say. I try to craft an approach that empowers the student to learn and discover themselves instead of me telling them how they should be, she says. You're a good teacher, I say. I try to be. I read this article in one of my classes that changed the way I looked at education. It was about how slaves viewed literacy and education versus the education they received under Freedman’s Bureau. Close to 10% of slaves knew how to read and write even though the punishment for getting caught was anything between having a hand cut off to being lynched, The article quoted a pamphlet written but a former slave that with writing they could “write themselves into existence”. They would be seen as thinking freely men instead of beasts. But when emancipation came around and the state took over education for the freedman, the focus started to shift towards manners and less about empowering themselves. I was struck by the sheer anarchic power of knowing how to read and write and the oppression of controlling others with curriculum. Similar (and arguably worse) schools were created for Native Americans, Hawaiians, and Aboriginals. All of them focused on making obedient workers out of them, says Asia. Do you think schools in general are inherently designed to create obedient workers? I say. Yes. The ones for indigenous people just had the added feature of erasing their culture. One could say the same case with today’s Christianity as well, I say. A set of interlocking systems designed to create a certain kind of capitalist conformity. Yeah, says Asia. That's one of the reasons that I am not jazz about mission projects, she says.
I stain canvas black book black breed beetles branch bridges Stain canvas black bronze basket cave canvases and I bundle book barely black barely bodies Black bamboo bombs bites black shaped canvas cool jazz conversation (Asia Rain conversation / heteroglossia desert dialogic) (Asia Rain latter rain glossolalia liminal larger) (Asia teaches me new tabernacle and new tetragrammaton)
Canvas cave cunt canvas cave cunt colloidal colonies cask cinema colonies / film fungus Film fungus fugitive film Fugitive film fungus fire / future canvas surfaces
IMMEDIATE canvas immediately cavern: vein melter The Headhunter’s Vein Melter Canvas melts immediate magma: molten earth gospels Gospel geology Geode jut god pineal gland Gland god geode glass glass the gun dual dual desert dual desert dual semitruck bottomless pit tarpit Bottomless pit armpit the plus present tense body Present tense semitruck slasher body Immediate body grotesque grotesque canvas Grotesque canvas quotes gargoyle and green man / various vulva visions
I stain canvas black: subtle black seraphs the stench of black fire (the rough launch track launch furious bacco) Stain canvas black steer in one night paradise becomes GOD’S BLOOD ACRE! A hot bed of raw excitement… When dust and terror run rampant
Stain canvas black stimmung spiral stains Canvas stain black my body cave bare cave bear: naked name canvas Naked name raw body lust and terror Run rampant we are the romans man the ramparts Run ruin apart black canvas coin box voice Coin box voice coin locker bodies
Subtle black sheen the speculum that doesn't shine Black sunshine groove metal mineral black bellies subtle black a riot My body riots body My body riots body haunted Christianities clear rain cloisters Climb rain rope acid knots cloister claustrophobia subtle flesh Subtle flesh rot quite flesh but queer quiet My flesh strips uncertain skeleton
My flesh strips sizing unsettled canvas soils taller canvas sizes
My body turned canvas my body shaped canvas My body shaped canvas my body canvas transformer I share this black sheen a selective switch transformer and my body transforms trace My body intense traces interlaced letter lights and finger lights flesh lower flash Flesh lovers flash: flash flood flash fire Flash fire flanger flesh not a filter but shadows Shadow basking shark and shadow megamouth
Subtle black shadow sheen: I share her shadow I share her shadow shade shared I share shade her shadow surrounds serpents Share sorcerer something other shadow and then other thaw shadow Share swim sleek a separate school of sharks
I write rather another meaning mine meaning mine cart madness but copper creeps crawl walls weaver meanings Spider basket weaver meaning the ball of the book I share spider shadow shakers and my vision verts ecstasy Ecstasies ekstasis exegesis glow god genuine music genuine leather ship then cowhide helms hidden secluded… Whip cowhide huddle… Whip cowhide what a filthy hovel Whip worm writing bits of metal and bits of trash percussion Pop percussion Pop percussion pop goes the weasel Weasel wormhole screeching weasels (not difference between animal then animal book between book My notes nougahyde hearth no name but new Now new black paintings Now new monochromatic Cryptid stations of the cross Stations of the cross microchips
I write in search and process I write stooges search and destroy I search my body as text disintegration transformer I write my body glam logos / it’s a better than bad, it’s good! LOG! From BLAMMO! My absurd flesh My absurd buzzard flesh burns other birds and my sex seesaws as machine (boy with machine a huge bloated pudgy boy working on one of his desiring-machines Solar cell seashell shallows body My body dozens decay My body decays desert dress, the liquid latex and plaster of Eva Hesse sculptures My face melts into more scripture My face melts mealworm metals: my body pile copper and hammer iron ore My body limited animation anvil (Is The Dover Boys the first “modern” cartoon?… Chuck Jones stylized the animation in this cartoon in a way that anticipates what several consciously modern studios like UPA would be doing a decade later)
Bodies low limited animation liminal limited leaven my body exodus My body body bodies exile delicious desert animation (Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner chamber symphonies) Body berry body varial bullet volley veronicas bullet bull boxing / flesh fist fuck
Can I ask you what you think my book is about these days? I say to Asia. Reconstructing Ben, says Asia. That's interesting and I think what you say is true although it does worry me a little. It makes me wonder why I should share my writing at all, if it only applies to me. It doesn't though, says Asia. That’s the power of stories. You told me once you can’t separate the book from yourself, and I’ll be honest with you, I thought you were deflecting when you said that, but I’ve thought about it some more and now I agree with you. You are constantly being crated and recreated by the relationships you have with others and that’s what your book is about, and when others see it and read it, they experience that too. We are all in a symbiotic relationship with each other, says Asia. That’s useful – that’s helpful, I say. Thank you. I will meditate on it some more. Anything about the human necessarily has to be about the divine too maybe – you were saying the new god is in us and around us, manifested in us. If I write about me, you, Christina – even if I don’t mention god directly, I’m still writing the divine, according to your interpretation of god, I say. Correct, says Asia.
Reconstructing benjamin I write mess ugly reconstructing benjamin I write bullet bull boxing fist fuck flesh fistula fist full of dynamite ugly reconstructing benjamin I experiment failure ragtag maximalist limited animation animation animal mutilated limited animation laugh track massacres Massacre writing figured bass blowtorch Bass blowtorch calm like a bomb
I stain canvas black birth book black beautiful dark I stain black become desert: black shared black immediate space and immediate desert khora Krystal desert khora residual black black residue rhizome dark desert khora Carve khora immediate body Immediate carve body khora cavern body Immediate body canyon khora glacier god crevasse glacier ground god body bin body ben khora Body khora ben adam: Son of Man seer no ceiling but glacier carves valley of vision Body khora ben adam ben hinnom: harlot ben marriage of heaven and hell My body desert exodus and exile My body desert khora diaspora Desert khora krystal lin lights the lights: Krystal reaches me and as the name Krystal reaches real my body railroad khora and her name as the name number: she numbers my days as Yahweh She numbers names days desert my body deconstruction
Glacier khora: god khora: kassandra landscape scrape salt cliff Salt khora my spiced body Spiced body preserve puncture wounds clockwork holes body spiced steampunk sprocket: khora cosmos Khora cosmos kaosmos malleable bodies hammered hollow: hollow earth harrowing of hell
KHORA crimes in the city or welfare mothers make better loves
KHORA the answer my friend is blowing in the wind
Wind whips apocalypse scorpion bay khora Krystal desert khora drives as a holy spirit ben bay of blood and ben twitch of the death nerve her secret name Krystal darker desert khora, an asphalt space and an area fifty-one space Space dark no stars but black sabbath snowblind holy spirit Space dark light gun gamma ray burst bunkers: I arcade khora I arcade khora and I participate in a strategic tactical advanced alien response military incursion and alien-created zombies from taking over the Area 51 military facility
Alien khora Alien other khora totally stranger Her strange word sketches khora Her strange wild hair whips khora sketched stone water Alien khora and Area 51 Khora: absurd arcade My book and Body absurd arcades project overhead projection: bell work woman Book as exercises in absurd technique (I embrace dada, surrealism, fluxus) ( I embrace performance art, conceptual art, light and space)
Alien khora alpha and aleph Khora desert partials parietal bone arcade sutures Sutures saturate race red: ruby khora round mellow sound Sound skull scalloped street hollow hollers khora: field holler khora calls-and-response Khora hymn chants chaos, the transmigration to the dover boys at pimento university / limited animation ancient of ancients
Insect Swarms Improvise Country Music
A Christianity without Christianity A Christianity sooner or later a god’s gonna cut you down / if you meet the Buddha kill the Buddha
(That's what my readers won’t have known about me read less and less well over almost twenty years like my religion which nobody understands anything)
Leave nothing, if possible, in the dark of what related me to Christianity, alliance broken in every respect Covenant broken in every respect Cross broken in every respect rascal crucifixion
Whatever you encounter, either within or without, slay it at once On meeting a buddha, slay a buddha, on meeting a patriarch slay a patriarch, on meeting an arhat slay the arhat, on meeting your parents slay your parents, on meeting your kinsmen slay your kinsmen, and you attain emancipation by not leaving to things, you freely pass through
I feel the fragments I feel my fragment flesh I feel my flesh fragment fragment flesh fire Christina conflagration Christianity Christianity cut fire Christianity cut into witches’ coven flying ointment eucahrist Witches’ broom book of hours liturgy of hours hourglass ladder Stained glass stained canvas black ladder Ladder black pigment in the penal colony collects flesh traces Christianities Fragment feels my flesh fragment cracked Christianity Fragment feeds my flesh fragment ant colony feelers and pheromones / termite tetragrammaton My body names its flesh moniliform antinae / soft bodied Adonai My body names its flesh circular ruins and ruins shed remnants / woodshed woman jazz improvisation Christianities cutting contest / trade fours my flesh fragment, incomplete metamorphosis My body bolos hemimetabolism and my flesh shifts egg nymph imago and I write my body everything on its surface I write my body no hierarchy (hemimetabolism halo hemimetabolism my flesh machines chewed fragments chow chum chaw magma) I write my body laid out in its entirety no secret reference behind it My flesh circular and explicit, a parody pause parody screams I AM THE SUN I scream I AM THE SUN and I AM THE SON OF MAN, an irradiation irritation friction of the copulation of bodies / flesh fragments Flesh fragments pure fluid free state flowing without interruption, streaming over the surfaces of the full body
Body all surfaces the radical porous crucifixion of the flesh Flesh all surface sitting fluid a globular eye crucifixion slitting eye Christianity without Christianity / crucifixion no hierarchy
No mouth no tongue no teeth no larynx No esophagus no belly no anus
Body no body Christianity no Christianity a pure cut plain plane / cities of the plains
Cities of the plain automata stop dead and set free the unorganized mass they once served to articulate Cities of the plain already automata stop dead and set free the unorganized mass they once served to articulate already cities of the plain
Plains puncture planes my body aporia Sodom and Gomorrah / stone tumble termite tetragrammaton Termite tetragrammaton gut globes, termites perhaps closely related to the wood-eating cockroach (genus Cryptocercus) based on the similarity of their symbiotic gut flagellates
Insect improvisation Insect improvisation incarnation / Pantokrator icons as body without organs Ancient without Ancients marked material as an insect body (prothorax-mesothorax-metathorax tetragrammaton) insect Christianities: a material body-and-religion a superflat material-monist body-and-ritual and Christianity collects insect swarms Swarm insect select heretic hammers and Christ hammers decayed humans into the skull / my skull scooped Christianity bloody discontinuity Discontinuous blood desert only swarms (Yahweh brings an east wind upon the land all the day and all the night, and morning, east wind brings locusts The locusts upon my body such a dense swarm of locusts as had never been seen or will ever been seen again Then cover my entire surface and my whole body blackens and locusts devour my flesh and then my bones) (I think I want to continue rewriting the Bible, I say. I think I want to pervert and twist and distort the bible for my own means. Do it, says Asia)
Because I still love the Christian Bible Because I still love the Nag Hammadi Codex Because I still love the stations of the cross and weep during Christ’s crucifixion Because I still feel the daily crucifixion of Christ and I pick up my cross and follow uncertain Christs Because I still cry Eloi Eloi lama sabachtani Because although the god of the bible abandons me completely repeated daily, I find beauty in the bible Because I find beauty, horror, and pornography in the bible Because my body and the bible and the Book open One One One
I love the Bible more than Yahweh
I love the Book more than any Cross or Christ
Now I begin IMMEDIATE space SPACE spoken space and unspoken space: IMMEDIATELY immediate space, the KHORA of the CROSS Khora of Cross an insect crucifixion the offering of raw bull’s balls and the putting out of my eye Eye empty geode and the sky skull exudes the yellowish liquid luminosity / she lights the lights and leitmotif she lights the lights of my oven socket skull leitmotif My skull socket ligatures and leitmotifs she lights the lights Lights rotations lights translations lights transformations Her lights always-already repeat lights / river lights right light river lights lake lights liquid luminosities and insect intensities Insect light intensities chains sew saw the cross
KHORA immediately IMMEDIATE desert KHORA immediate IMMEDIATELY cross (I cross my heart and promise to: give all I’ve got to give to make all your dreams come true in all the world you’ll never find a love as true as mine) Cross and Khora ruptures insect interruptions folded in my brain childhood country music a noxious nostalgia and I drink the difference between a Bible narrative and a country music lyric
(The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight like the stars that fill the midnight sky her memory fills my mind)
(Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep If I die before I wake: feed Jake He’s been a good dog my best friend right through it all If I die before I wake: feed Jake)
(I’m diggin’ up bones Exhumin’ things that’s better left alone I’m resurrectin’ memories of a love that’s dead and gone Yeah tonight I’m sitting’ alone, diggin’ up bones)
I live for a long time without a stomach, without intestines, almost without lungs, with a torn esophagus, without a bladder, and with shattered ribs I sometimes swallow an open larynx
Country music mediates as high priestess in Christina’s cunt
Bemire because feasts sacred spatial spatial sight / hominin devastation serpents Cafes vine two feedings all-eye patterns KHORA receives and permits all crossings all countries all crossings (the difference between that Book and that book the nondifference between this Book and this Book) KHORA receives and permits all crossings and countries cut my body bone archaeology Khora permits my body crossings station to station flee time tropics peach nectar ecdysiast KHORA cunt country musics baby blue was the color of your eyes / look out the saints are coming through and it’s all over now baby blue
I contact this fragment and fragment sprawls spell eyes with orgasms Eyes inserts them in narrative that cums cement (the secret of cement wet dream sheets) eyes flow insert insects last supper singlets My amber abdomen ombre does not distinguish between Book and Book but Khora receives all crossings and bodies
I cross into Cross without Christianity I cross into cross without Christ apocalyptic Khora Khora eclipse crane cascade close clatter-chatter no call from god but chaosmos
I cross into cross chaosmos I cross into cross clime chaoskampf I cross into cross chanson cataclysm KHORA Kind clearing my body khora and kenosis Clear keep khora charmander body bobby burial bastard reading (For nimble have snakepits Bottomless pit back pigment I cross the cross khora cock kassandra)
I cross into cross constellation configurations Cross cross cross constellation clusters conflagrations fragment flesh field and force My flesh forces fragment / benjamin balkanization
I climb the Cross as Wittgenstein’s Ladder (He must so to speak throw away the ladder, after he had climbed up on it)
The cross not as crisis but kindling: fire found fires inside fires flutters my flesh flat animated without Another Christianity without Christianity now fire Now fire how I begin IMMEDIATE isolated impact My body impacts compact insect swarms swell swarm shards Bodies impact bodies compact car crashes apocalypse collapses Now fires but a frankist materialism and frankist prosperity gospel (all regions, all laws, all books of old, if one reads them, it’s like turning your face backwards and examining words which have long gone extinct. All this originates from the side of death)
You could be a religious rapper, says Krystal. No, no religion. You write of it. I do? Yes. No, I renounce it. God abandoned me. God abandoned me completely. I see, says Krystal.
I Stain Canvas Black Khora Without Gods
I do not pray I no longer pray and Yahweh ceases to listen The spirit of prophecy left me weeks ago months ago years ago god gone gone long my body desertification Immediate abandon immediate abaddon Bottomless pit continuum alphabet I always feel like a false prophet Yahweh stones me rocks bounce of my body blood stones block chord stones Stones tone clusters grape cluster constellations Headlines, slogans, groups of sounds and letters Writing fuck cluster mandible claw An object both seen and used: an object containing thought but wade concrete through play-activity I lack play I lack play pink beam neighborhood ball / ativan arcade Ativan arcade arcade atrium archives Archive carves improvisation PLAY-ACTIVITY PLAY-ACTIVITY (denkgegenstanddenspiel) Denkgegenstanddenkspiel (THINKING OBJECT PUZZLE GAME) I lack play I lack absurdity I lack humor I strike myself down with the sword and sword swing start and select buttons / button sour boxer box cutters
Play brevity and conciseness Play the languages and game-rules rabbit my flesh invents new formulation My flesh fucks with the formula My flesh fucks flesh beef chuck my fat grinds god signal saturates / saturated stomach slit sonnet Striated stomach slit stomach sources Stretched time stretched stomach sonic youth suicides and sonic the hedgehog death
(The television screen had become the retina of the wind’s eye)
My television eye transmit an exact replica of my eye My television eye emits WE ARE CONTROLLING TRANSMISSION my television eye assorted insects Insects eat my eyes TV dinner tray trucklift icepick Insects icepick eye an uneven energy the globular eye stained glass dreamcatcher insects
My television eye sucked like a breast My television eye drinking my left eye between her lips An erotic television eye vortex An erotic television eye vertigo swarms insect eyes
My eyes endlessly exchange meanings and images the utility of desiring-machines Emergent eye emergent total eye: the endless exchange of eyes Eyes endlessly exchange eyes and I refuse to appear on television except on television Eyes endlessly exchange eyes immediate space and desert Eyes exchange immediate space and immediate desert
I feel desolate radically desolate I feel empty radically empty my body hollow My body hollow earth I hollow my body empty horror my skull full of crickets My cricket skull empty interior theater Inside interior theater IMMEDIATELY space and IMMEDIATE desert I feel desolate and I break eggs in a bathtub I break my body eggs in a bathtub tank burst shells / I sometimes leap buildings in a single bound I swallow ten peel eggs and I cut up peeled eyes My eyes insert inserts other earth My empty eye empties something other my body other alien desolate My body anything other than desolate the desert Desert desolate diagonals the eye intimidates The eye intimidates then intermediates intermediate / median maudlin the well whale songs
I realize this complete abandonment by Yahweh – Yahweh abandons me utterly completely – coffins complete Complete abandonment abbadon and the archangel of abyss smokes my body (benjamin hacked up for a barbecue and benjamin hung on a meathook) The archangel blurs my body herd my body again abyss / abyss agon my body gone from god generous gore This abandonment by Yahweh acids total absolute: this not a mere dark night of the soul but total permanent dark Not spiritual dryness but spiritual desert Yahweh abandons me absolute but I aim endless arrow archegrammar I aim endless arrow rhizome arche-writing and I write Signs Gospel I write Signs Gospel writing not a sign of a sign except all signs the serous signature of my body My body fire signature and my flesh traces the letters My entrails trace letters the icon intestines / stations of the cross chainsaw disembodiment
The king over them an angel of the abyss whose Hebrew name ABADDON Greek name APOLLYON Latin name EXTERMINANS The king, the angel of the bottomless pit – my body continually pits rusts rots residue (the trace of the trace and the residue of the residue restless writing and restless gospel
Restless desert and restless abandonment
Complete Eloi Eloi Eli Sabacthani / my god my god, my lord, why have you forsaken me? He spoke these words on the cross, for he had left the place
I abandon the god that abandons me I abandon the god that abandons me / Sheol naked before him Abaddon has no cover I excommunicate the Christianity that excommunicates me / Abaddon and death say we only have a report of it I spit out the Christ who spits me out / a fire burning down to Abaddon I abandon the Yahweh that the Yahweh that abandons me / Sheol and Abbadon cannot be satisfied, nor the eyes of man be satisfied
Now the Spirit of Yahweh had turned away form Saul, and an evil Spirit from Yahweh tormented him / God put an evil spirit between Abimelech and the lords of Shechem, and the lords of Shechem broke faith with the house of Abimelech An evil spirit from Yahweh and a mischief-making spirit from Yahweh causes discord in my brain (I felt a funeral, in my brain, and mourners to and fro)
And if he left off dreaming of you… And if he left off dreaming of you where do you suppose you’d be? … You’d be nowhere. Why, you’re only a sort of thing in his dream!
I keep writing I keep writing, trying to trace and retrace prophecy even without a god (an impossible prophecy? What kind of prophecy makes itself possible without a god?) I keep writing and I keep trying to prophesy (Prophecy what? What remains real What remains remains KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rain This writing) I imagine a kind of prophetic writing and writing that transforms World / Word / Wyrd even without God I write to survive and I write to create (and recreate) my body and self My self similar to void, the ginnungagap god-empty: I fill my void with new vision girl vision KRYSXTRYN vision Asia Rain vision Vision Arche-Writing and Arche-Grammar Benjamin alchemist, fool, and magician Benjamin artist, writer, and prophet Benjamin healer, mystic, and philosopher Without god but with unconditional love My body saturated and immersed by love: the love of KRYSXTRYN + Asia and the love of WRITING and CREATION
I write with or without gods and I perform the highest act of blasphemy: I make myself a demiruge and into a god
Now I begin IMMEDIATE space SPACE spoken space and unspoken space Unspoken space species counterpoint aporia Unspoken space space a spectrum that doesn’t shine but shine shimmers a sword slice Shine shares shimmer a sword slice the introduction of novel elements into the music Novel name elements electric my explicit name neat numerology and unreal tetragrammaton Tetragrammaton game she lights the lights ludus Ludus tonus tetragrammaton atonal KHORA KHORA tympanum tone tongue space KHORA KHORA palindrome aporia palindrome KHORA Khora desert dig dusk leaving its outside outside Khora kenosis leaving its outside outside my body Khora a kenosis kiss leaving its outside outside my body (step away from the others and I shall tell you the mysteries of the kingdom. IT is possible for you to reach it, but you will grieve a great deal. For someone else will replace you, in order that the twelve disciples may again come to completion with their gods) Their gods: not the god perhaps of Christ or Judas I do not any god this god or god but the tympanum annulus solar anus (all things visibly connected at a single glance a totality of the tracings an Ariadne thread apple orchard outside outside its own labyrinth) My prayer aporia parody / my prayer parody aporia panic palindromes (everyone aware whirs parodic and lights lacks interpretations: interpretations, leviathans, an airlift lack the mysteries of the kingdom: KRYSXTRYN Asia rain latter rain repeated apocalypse (religion without religion and weak theology) Step away from the others and step away from the abandon that abandons and I shall teach you the mysteries of the kingdom
I decide to rewrite a long conversation with Asia. I think it’s worth its repetition and I will expand and lengthen the conversation
My house is a mess and I’m barely functioning, does that make me a shitty person? says Asia. I wrote a shitty poem yesterday, does that make me a shitty person? No, I say. I think of something you said though. That you understood there was no difference between me and my writing. If I’m writing shit, it’s because I’m a shit person and vice versa. That's dumb, says Asia. If you write shit you just messed up in communication – that’s all. You can try again alter. Yeah but I’m a prophet. It’s a big deal if I can’t prophesy correctly. It’s not final – it just didn’t come out right he first time, says Asia. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. OK, I think you’re right rationally. I still feel bad I can’t write or nurse today. That's fine, she says. Recently I had to make myself come to terms with how much I sucked at doing basic things. I get on my partner’s nerves, the systems I put in place don’t work, I let myself feel frustrated, and I get up and try again. Otherwise I’m going to just be a loser with a messy house and an irritated partner for the rest of my life. It’s OK if you feel that way now, but it’s not permanent, says Asia. I was writing earlier about god abandoning me completely, I say. Maybe he abandoned me because he doesn't want to hang out with losers, I say. Your standards are completely made up, says Asia. You are the one who sets them and sometimes I think you set the bar at an unrealistic expectation just to ail and you can go “see, I told you so”. If I did the same thing to myself, you would say something. I could say, I’m a mom and a wife, I’m supposed to have a clean house and make balanced meals every day or else I’m a failure, but that would be ridiculous. Your issue is that your goals are bandits that give you no flexibility. You are going to have bad days – that’s a given. You’re going to have bad weeks and you are going to be left with the aftermath to clean up and I know how much it sucks. And I know how shitty it is to be left standing in the rubble of your own doing but trust me, it’s not as bad as it looks. The sun still rises, your friends still love you. And you can take your beautiful self even if you feel like a piece of shit, even when trying is absurd and cringe, and pick yourself up and try again. You are right about cringe, by the way. Caring for things in my opinion is an act of rebellion. It makes life worth living, caring and feeling deeply. Imagine going through life not caring for a single thing? I’d rather be dead, says Asia. I was going to say something like, I too would rather be dead, but it wouldn’t sound as funny as I think it is. I acknowledge what you’re saying. Good, says Asia. It hurts a lot Christianity is no longer a part of my life, I say. I want to be a good prophet. I want to speak the depths of poetic truth common to all earth. OK, that's fine, says Asia. But the only way to do that is to pick yourself back up. Do you think I will ever be a good prophet? Do you think I will ever be a good writer? Yes, says Asia.
Now I begin IMMEDIATE space SPACE spoken space and unspoken space Space funk slow soul and progressive soul funk (The composer – organizer of sounds – faced not only with the entire field of sound but also with the entire field of time) The composer-prophet and the prophet-artist arche KHORA and sound echoes space empty Sound empties void space an involved volver vertigo
Now I begin IMMEDIATE space spark space Spool speech thread spins spot paintings / sparer speech stained canvas Spare spear speech spikes and she hammers a sterling silver spike into my skull / speech sketches Speech sketches speed Speech sketches speed skull silver I stain canvas black: subtle black sheen black / black shard black immediate space and immediate desert khora Khora pas peras not telos aporia Khora pas pause aporia porous play, peraeo eis khoran Permit khora receives aporia permits all crossings / crossings stations of the cross Immediate desert KHORA crackles kingdom a copula parody (lead a parody of gold air a parody of water brain a parody of equator coitus a parody of crime) Immediate desert KHORA brain circulations confessions / you are the one who writes and the one who is written Immediate incisors cuts KHORA crocodile bites and I bite bitter confessions / immediate khora constellations
I stain canvas black brackish waters I stain canvas black brine brains and I steep they grey matter tea triceratops (a taste for secret societies, secret as khora in khora Khora in khora outside bodies all bodies mass graves gods sheol) I stain canvas black god shells and god sheol god shell sheol sneaks serpent subtle black Serpent sneaks subtle black unspeech Unseen speech unspeech subtle black skate shark sea No sea but stained vans crocodile cataracts (harmony assigned to each material, in a group of unequal materials, my flesh flows fundamental and overtones ouroboros / a pure fluid in free state flowing without interruption streaming over the surface of a full body)
Immediate immense black: immediate immense khora Immediate immense black intensities and black conflagrations / flesh fundamental fire and fire fundamental flesh orange oil overtones
I stain canvas black: subtle black sheen black intermediate desert khora and khora consumes sheol and abaddon cannot be satisfied nor the eyes of man satisfied Immediate desert khora krystal desert khora specializes space and space speed starves sheol Krystal desert khora space grace rock cocaine crypt formations khora
Some Trace KHORA Ellipse Slips
An invisible eye: Christianity Christ initial kukris KHORA An eye slit invisible invisible horizontal Christianities: horizontal cut Christianities KHORA KHORA cut close-up woman a young woman KHORA krystal calm palm tree garden straight ahead as I bring the razor near her eye Christianity kris KHORA cuts occur crowd in front between on moon and twin moon cuts closeup a hard slitting the eye of an animal with a razor and the vitreous humor spills out human
Kangaroo Khora Kangaroo Khora absurd animal anarchy Absurd animal aware khora and KHORA crowd Christianity empty KHORA coughs comic delay desert painted desert hollow earth Hollow earth island eye silver insertions Sliver insertions eye irrational alchemical digestion Desert digests my body arch form facet frost rock formations Geological KHORA / benjamin bastards Geological god KHORA cut keratin comic sinker impossible
An invisible ear an impoverished eye uneven island (the more remote and distinct the relations between the two realities, the more powerful the image) An immediate eye inserted into the image of an eye My eye integrated mad My eye integrates mad image and free image (a witch turns sexy in nudie show) A sexy eye inserted nudie cutie stations of the cross witch eye which eye Which eye witch eye toad and newt make it new Witch eye when eye bewitches benjamin badlands
KHORA transformer watchtower KHORA watchtower transformer field taryn / haunted house homogeneous Haunted house heterogeneous igneous eye goblet and chalice stations of the cross Holy graal god stations of the cross Stations of the cross KHORA twentysix gasoline stations (station to station) KHORA TRANSFORMATION khora kafka with metamorphosis similar psychosis and my eye sly slips erotic (She lights the lights postmodern literature / my flesh metafiction the return of the thin white duke throwing darts in lovers’ eyes)
KHORA transformer TRANSFORMATION the elements inside my body elements interior / an internal crypto-logico-semantic auto-deconstruction KHORA save her name: KHORA safe, her name
KHORA WATCHTOWER SUBSTANCE Substance substrates khora call solvents Solvent summas careful with that axe eugene Solvent trace corpus sums foxhole radio Radio random KHORA (KHORA WATCH KHORA WATCHTOWER serpent stones stone in waters)
What can I do with my (former) Christianities / my Christianity hauntology My Christianity haunted bells harrowing of hell
I write not new Christianity but a Christianity cut through A Christianity eye slit my body slimmed through a vitrine glass centipede section / saturated other Christianity saturated other color comic book supervillains Christianity saturated other color solder sabbath / music on a long thin wire wobble Wire water above and below water intense wire watts Intense watt tower wire (unless born of water and spirit one cannot enter the kingdom of god) (unless born wire and spider one cannot enter the Khora: Khora and Cross)
The greatest is space for it holds all things The greatest space space a more scattered then spurning speed Space space spaceballs ludicrous speed The greatest motorspeed way space space haunted space Space haunted space heterodox heterotopias (now you are yourself, but not yourself; an ideal state for a meeting between lovers) (Death, then lovers) (Death then lovers she lights the lights a little alchemy)
Alchemy haunts KHORA, word waters wyrd waters Alchemy gans glands ghosts KHORA word waters my body woman as a weapon A wave weapon disintegrates word Word wire KHORA watercolour wash
The greatest SPACE SPACE for it should things holds all things Hold: hold hauntology hold: haunted hold the torments of love and jealousy in the death and judgment of Albion the ancient man
This haunted Christianity as if it were mine As if a space or wording for my Christianity: a christian codex and a christian catacomb Not catacomb but courier KHORA Khora eclipse crisis stations of the cross KHORA
Now I begin IMMEDIATELY space space spoken space and unspoken space surviving specters (some trace remains my body corpse and textual corpus) Some trace KHORA ellipse slips the camera keeps a certain distance, and relatively few close-ups Some trace KHORA its camera elegant and flowing, constantly tracking, but very slowly and not calling attention to itself
Experimentality the introduction of novel elements into one’s music
Haunted house experiments Ghost galaxy experiments experiment PROCESS Khora Process KHORA experiments (cursed by a hoodoo voodoo on a howling zombie haunt! ZOMBIES ON BROADWAY) My flesh desert undead Undead devil mixers multiply layer jazz loft ghosts Zombie cauldron baubles my body barfs bricolage I barf zombie broadway walk waters wires a whistle while you work song I work a schizophrenic phenolic my flesh thermoplastic play: producing, a product Producing, a product: a producing / produce identity benjamin a bloated boy working with little desiring-machines, my face ghost hooks and fish faces Zero zombie Zero beyond zero zombie undead ozone Undead joy division disorder (lights are flashing cars are crashing getting frequent now I’ve got the spirit lose the feeling let it out somehow)
Body without organs an enormous undifferentiated object ben body desert desert without organs the wheel of continual birth and rebirth no mouth to suck with no anus to shit with
My flesh experiment my body experiment An authentic body / brain block chords borderline personality disorder body My body shaking sickness My flesh phantasmagorical My flesh fantastic My head hallucinatory hell imaginary numbers as rotations
Now I begin IMMEDIATELY space unsaying space space spools serpent apophatic fuck flesh gnostic Fuck with fire gnostic Gnostic eye egg sun genitals Sun gun genital gods Now I begin IMMEDIATE space spark space spool speech thread spins spot paintings Thread spins spot paintings hallucinatory matador mercury Matador mastodon mercury I begin IMMEDIATE KHORA TRANSFORMER autobots transform and roll out Immediate absurd space unsaying speech (save her name safe her name) Save the name that names nothing night word, not even a divinity / not even a desert das das drive my desert body Now even desert dag and din / devil drills my body holes hard hold haunted
All religions, all laws, all books of old, if one reads them, it’s like turning your face backwards and examining words which have gone long extinct… All this originated from the side of death
Death with Desert: Space Death Desert: KHORA KHORA play pas pass punch punch nonlinear the line that terminates all determination death detail desert doggerel experiments death I experiment death I experiment death Christianity old word wineskins (The Savior replied, There is no such thing as sin; rather, you yourselves are what produces sin when you act in accordance with the nature of adultery, which is called ‘sin’)
I sin human skin I skin human sin My skin science strange sin My skin skunk storage the skein and sieve of insects My skin surplus sin locust swarms the locusts horses arrayed for battle / benjamin badlands benjamin bedrock my body brooks faces as human faces and hair like women’s hair and I hurry death I hurry god is dead Christianity a whitewashed tomb
Now I begin IMMEDIATE space spark space sin splits my skin serpent scales Space SPACE spits sin splits skin the tail swipe dragon (Leviathan the twisted serpent Leviathan the tortured serpent) My speech unfurls frankincense flesh fire frankenstein star cow stomach (I cannot stomach stars but I vomit light I vomit gamma ray bursts then ben supernova keep the name safe)
The erect Taryn tests tracks Taryn Bridal explosion story troubles Taryn Lore trade Taryn stark bald layer thistle naked incarnation traces truth love nude tab Taryn bold Taryn desert Bold body brush horsehair Taryn desert Bold Taryn desert terror tacks bold erogenous licorice Taryn Taryn naked a god desert oils (Though prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies; thou anointed my head with oil) (My only enemy: YHVH Elohim)
Naked a god Taryn desires oils whispered without about picture TRADE TRADE picture TARYN tetragrammaton trapezoidal grammar Others within Taryn next star wilderness Wild word ness name share shaft secret
Taryn or jewels indeterminate hoodoo ecstasy delicate desert (Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you’re in my head? Cause I know it’s delicate) Delicate desert destroyer Delicate desert a in out tearing woman tresses / woman tresses Taryn Desert a in out tearing Woman tresses within wonderful woman’s eucahrist
Conversation With Asia Rain 05/11/2020
I need to draw this frog, says Asia. Also I didn’t know you had a brother. What a frob! Yeah I have a younger brother, 20 months younger than me. My twin is 9 minutes younger than me, and my little sibling is 8 years. You are the oldest! I am the ancient one. You sound like a superhero. More like a force of nature, says Asia.
Tone escape terror I in and bridegroom subject sea she She sea puncture rapture Taryn take ashley that and out body
(I contemplate only writing in lowercase letters: an even uneven flat uniform disorderly letter An anarchic letter To write a non-hierarchical language and nonlinear language languages)
Spirits anarchic antinomian spirit spirit animist annunciation spirits Speed and speed spirits flat sprawl sprawl skull sublime Speed and speed silence spaces (and when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour)
Space seal silence save her name / safe, her name Save her name that names nothing that night hold, not even a divinity / the god name bottomless collapse, the endless desertification of languages
(I lack the courage to flatten my writing I lack courage to truly push or drive like the holy spirit into wilderness I try to grow into an anarchic antinomian writing PROCESS Khora APOCALYPSE)
Karst Khora Cut Khora This, Parts 1 and 2
Content Warning: mentions of suicidal ideation
Khora or Desert Khora or Desert: Cross and Khora Cross and Khora Krystal Apocalypse Krystal Apocalypse aporia: aporia a corpus in sum both directions at once apophatic: both direction at once aporia I approach aporia approximately, as a sermon Sermon serpent cylinder noise cylinder seal Cylinder seal noise apple orchard aporia Noise with distance (To have nothing, wouldn’t that be its secret or declared vow) Noise nothing: noise nothing annihilating noise Noise melody medley (Future noise near my noise nests secret name: a holy spirit spear Spear pierces name now double and now noise doppelganger) Khora continues organic noise then nonlinear noise now noise new rhythms New rhythms and new pendulums / aggregates and assemblages
I only understand to through the texts I only binah book through hew hue gold the writings New hue canyon color carved canyon gods Wax crayon gods and oil pigment pastel gods
KHORA that from which everything exists and from which it first begins KHORA that from which everything exits and from which it becomes and into which rendered at least its substance remain under it
KHORA that THAT from which every that THAT exists: exist not as a god but the name of god, god assembled apophatic anachronisms / pseudepigrapha gullwing door pseudo-dionysius (to be nothing, its secret and declared vow) (Declared vow vision visions of desert absolutely KHORA) Cryptic khora the crypt abyss Cryptic crossroads khora the crypt / my body abyss little black dress My body KHORA KAZOO / absurd orchestra Absurd alchemy and ouroboros (in that day Yahweh with his hard and great and strong sword will punish Leviathan the fleeing serpent, Leviathan the twisting serpent, and he slays the dragon on the sea) Leviathan incomplete KHORA crab canon carapace / erotic exoskeletons
KHORA that THAT from which every that THAT Taryn torah and Taryn Tetragrammaton Yod Hay Vav Hay hammerhead shark Yod Hay Vav Hay Charles The Hammer Martel
KHORA to be nothing this THIS its secret and declared row (negative theology nothing very simply nothing but this excess and this surplus imprint, some mark on some singular events of language this language that remains on the body of the tongue) (my body tongues Torah My body tongues Torah Taryn Tetragrammaton My body tongues Torah Taryn Theater bodies)
My language tongues body and body tongues and the third section combines the other two: piano and woodwind project a retrograde of the convergent-divergent crossplay the first section, while the piano also retrogrades the divergent-convergent mechanics of the second
Convergent-divergent KHORA Convergent-divergent KHORA retrograde granular synthesis serpent column / column serpent alchemical corridor door desert
KHORA nothing gnosis numberless number KHORA karst landscape Karst landscape scraped cavern KHORA Near khora numberless number and numbered metric / desert distance
Do you think I’m a bad person? I feel very down. I wonder if you hate my guts. I don’t think you’re a bad person, says Asia. I don’t hate your guts. OK. I feel down. I feel useless. My life feels meaningless. I feel I should give up because nothing I do matters anyways. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I’m a bad friend. Fuck ben. What a failed human being. What a failed writer and prophet. No one should mourn him. No one should cry for him. Fuck him. You aren’t useless, says Asia. You aren't a failed prophet. I feel like I am. I feel my life has amounted to nothing. I deserve to be abandoned by god. And everyone else too. If you knew the true ben you’d hate his guts. That’s not true, says Asia. How do you know when you don’t know the true ben? You’re better off hating my guts. I’m sorry for wasting so much of your time. You didn’t waste my time, says Asia. You do make a positive impact, she says. Can I ask you a question? I say. Why do you love me unconditionally? Because you are my friend and I enjoy talking to you and creating things with you. You remember when you told me to tell you when you are being too hard on yourself? You are being too hard and unkind to yourself. You actually need that unruly grey matter between your ears to create thing and abusing it won’t help, she says. I feel if I have a crisis or I feel depression, I’m failing as a person and as a result failing you as a friend. But it seems you perceive differently. I see a friend who isn’t having a good time, says Asia. You asked me how I can care for you unconditionally and what I originally said is still true. But I want to add that before you are a prophet or a writer you are a fucking human being. A human being with a funky brain and sometimes we humans aren’t OK. We go through times where we aren’t OK and that’s OK. And when that happens we need patience and kindness, says Asia.
(Can I ask your writing advice? I ask Asia. I’m working on an excerpt and in the middle of it, it goes into this conversation with depressed past ben and past Asia and it’s a downer honestly. I’m embarrassed by it a little. After the conversation it goes back into the prose-poetry experimental writing I do. Should I leave the conversation in? Is it important for people to read about ben feeling he’s a failed prophet and bad person in the middle of this prose poetry? I would have to see it in context, says Asia, but I say leave it in)
KHORA that from which everything exists and from which it first KHORA tympanum Khora tympanum taryn watches over its margins Margin meter water margin walker (I’m going to get myself up at a window this margin walker wants a clear view This margin walker wants a clear shot and now I’m shooting it right at you…)
KHORA KERRIA KARL khora cut incomplete khora / KHORA that THAT animal desert If Khora projects retrograde convergent-divergent my body secretions similar insects khora kerria Khora a strident star music Khora a stretched stomach star music: music mucous surplus a corpus in sum Both directions at once: direction desert then this alchemy THIS THIS khora alchemy Khora Torah Alchemy
Part 2
I love texts as I love certain abyss I love certain abyss body Khora blowtorch Yahweh abandons me and the Spirit of Prophecy leaves but I continue the writing I continue the writing texts incomplete khora I listen to The Microphones in 2020 on loop and I meditate on the following lyrics: this spooling out repetitive decades long song string this river coursing through my life these wild swipes at meaning and now I circle back to the look into the spring…
Microphones in 2020 drones staccato serious sample rhythm and I often sample texts a buffet abyss A candlestick park corpuscular khora KHORA blood body blue bruise bitches brew (the characteristic sampling from a variety of mundane and instrumental sources) Microphone micropolyphony / my flesh both directions at once My flesh polystylism My flesh pagan polystylism funk plunderphonics Plunderphonic flesh aporia Flesh aporia negative print polystylism My body samples negative theology, a negated tetragrammaton and a negated name My body annihilates name, a secret number without number and I number KHORA then both direction at once
My body KHORA, negative theology nothing, and my nothing knots gnosis and gnostic surplus My nothing knots this excess language and this surplus language as PLUS: Plus Khora and then Khora subtracted from Khora The remainder: KHORA Body Khora kontakte kisses, a surplus of kisses compact my body new name and new gnosis / the tree of life upside-down
My body KHORA apocalypse collapse: bronze age collapse clipped seas peoples hazards My body hazard language languages happenings Her languages leave remains on the tongue of my body Her languages leave the levee’s going to break barre chord samples Sample soda water silhouette Silhouette star music sections then its retrograde / retrograde garfish gods gallows humor Gallows my four humors imbalanced / holy spirit sanguin Flegmat flesh sanguin holy spirit Flegmat flesh sanguin holy spirit coleric stations of the cross Flegmat flesh sanguin holy spirit coleric stations of the cross melanc desiring-machines coupled to the body sick writ write schizophrenic flows
My body KHORA leviathan the flexible serpent and leviathan the posing serpent The serpent swing black sea black luna black sol The serpent swing black paintings and monochromatic shaped canvas and her black body canvas stains my tongue body inkstone
Save her name Safe, her name
Save the name that names nothing that night hold: KRYSTAL KHORA KRYSTAL KHORA APOCALYPSE slate sleek surfaces apocalypses Slate sleek surfaces sinusoidal apocalypse, a black sol ellipsis A black sol scroll and my body screams phoenix esoteric Gut esoteric Gut humor well hell intestines KHORA
KHORA: Taryn torah Tympanum Taryn tympanum tetragrammaton gehenna Marriage of heaven and hell KHORA infernal energies KHORA cook antinomian / sinfonia the raw and the cooked KHORA saguaro sanguine cactus cooked stations of the cross / cattle mutilation caverns
KHORA Taryn tympanum margin walker her waters awake negative Space my body outside outer darkness My body outside leaving its outside outside without mark My body khora without mark without opposition woman outer darkness
I think I want to die, I say. I think everyone would be better without me. Not me, says Christina, but I get that sentiment. Even you. I mean I don’t think so. I think so. Do you hate me? NOPE! I absolutely have no hate in my heart for you. What if I turned out to be a serial killer? I would have all the love for you while I called the police. Would you be afraid I would try to kill you? Maybe not fear. Death would be a release (a selfish reason for me due to the kids and stuff). Or do you mean afraid that your killing of me would be like a violation or something? No, just a straightforward meaning of killing. I don’t think I could kill anyone much less Christina. They say it’s harder if you’re not a true narcissist or have significant psychopathy, says Christina.
Khora kills incomplete cataclysm colossus Twisted colossus leviathan the twisted serpent Khora klangs god loves man kills and I collect comic books and trade paperbacks cataclysm catechism copy chrism I copy khora blood clot gospel car crash radio Radio round robin rivers rivers round robin rhizomes Khora kills incomplete comic crusade and I play bone-crunching mayhem funk I play funk flesh phoebe don’t fuck with the formula / I fuck with the formula I play funk fortune teller khora: khora not as formula but formula before formula abyss Abyss inside insidious other open and open circles avalanche Open avalanche apocalypses porous balloon KHORA
Khora balloons my body babel / backwards beelzebub Khora balloons my body abyss / albumin algorithms my eyes overeasy My eyes overeasy my eyes poached aporia My body bullfights bulls raws bull and I put out her eye endless arrow Arrow ovals alveolar avian and the sky exudes the yellowish liquid luminosity no name but the flow the library My body flows khora overstuffed, the table more and more of an accumulation I accumulate bodies and shrunken heads I accumulate human bones and I do not distinguish between producing and the products My body bays balloon bloated, overstuffed blood and the pure thisness of my body produces and carries over new producing
My body pure THIS thisness: aporia Porous aporia punctured bone holes burr bastards bulky bodies Punctuated equilibrium aporias aporia apparatus ataraxis ekstatic Aporia khora chorea choirs / my style is a dance I write music and dance architecture I write music mucosa marrow mixtures marrow and I dance desert architecture arachnids / spider web sprawl sphinx khora Khora chemical clymenestra Khora kassandra insomnia Insomnia cycles KHORA that from which everything exists and from which it first becomes: first flesh first adam First ben adam / valley ben hinnom Valley ben hinnom free jazz hula hoop hooped earrings eyeballs bull’s balls raw airplane wreckage wreckage reaches overreaches overhang: khora ouroboros Khora ouroboros overhang leviathan
My body body bells desert chrome tanned leather heather My body buoy body solar barge black sea (black sea black luna black sol black body) My body blue blank KHORA flows khora tympanum serpent scroll / twisted text scaffolding
Desert body scaffolds KHORA call climb kassandra skeletons Kassandra human skeletons then mechanical exoskeletons cyberpunk desiring-machines Body bricoleurs hora desert Desert desert a hodgepodge hell and haphazard hag charged hell Desert diaphanous and desert diophantine, a desert khora jackal jumbles my body ordinary than unordinary orgasms
Pure THISNESS khora aporia Khora that that THIS (duck duck goose khora then aporia: my body cloud open often My boy cloud open often khora krystal aporia Khora gentle apophatic pneumatic unknown gnosis Gnosis nocturne overturned traces moment then melody postmodern aporia
Body Desert KHORA TRANSFORMATION Body desert KHORA TRANSFORMATION transformer desert Desert deterritorizliation Taryn Tetragrammaton (Desert always-already lights the lights Taryn tegimented steel always-already lights the lights) I transform I transform tear fire fire letters the body I transform tall fire till, aporia as plow that opens body soil aerated aether An erotic aether permeates my body aporia An earth aether etches steel sandwich acid / queer quintessence inseminating earth Inseminating insect earth / aerofighters flight fires
My body sometimes embarrassed me My body folds fat felt myth land lights the lights and the light enters my eye erogdic and exits my eye erotic An erotic eye an exotic light exotic immediate Immediate jackal and jaguar Immediate jackal free jazz stations of the cross Immediate free improvisation stations of the cross canyon blood crayon bloody blur canyons blur bloody crayolas blue blur My body reels against body babylon (we’ve been trodding on the wine press much too long rebel rebel) My body rebels body blue hue new fool axe swing and I fool flesh babylon rebellion (babylon system is the vampire, falling empire, sucking on the blood of the sufferers)
KHORA that THAT from which every that THAT exists and from which first becomes and into which THAT: Taryn toward tarantula Torah Torah KHORA Taryn and Taryn tours THAT scroll and codex / KHORA palimpsest Palimpsest purple prose superimposed onto my body embarrassed and cringe Cringe cylinder cinder hard cider / alcoholic armchair adonai Taryn into which that: TARYN into which THAT recorded at last Rendered at last residue and reshimu, mockingbird mirrors, and my eye sucks like a breast Rendered at least bright red tent ruby bodies drinking my left eye between her lips KHORA that THAT exchanges erotic, desert demolishing That THAT exchanges erotic demolished desert polished bone desert My glass eye polished sard saw stardust and diamonds Demolish the wound congruities of objects and I substitute fresh flesh / god body horror God body horror: book body bible boils bodies hell judgments and sinners in the hands of an angry god
An ebullient body horror there is nothing that keeps wicked men at any moment out of hell but the mere pleasure of god
Demolish writes disintegration god grate glue gush grotesque / gargoyle botanical gardens Grain green ghouls: grain silos simulating missile silos Summertime blues circulating systems Sympathetic synchronicities and syzygies
Benjamin Bess Beetle Rupture
My body bell body My body bell blue bell bottoms disco desert Desert disco discotheque serpent tunnel tonic / my body apart the desert disco Discotheque bibliothecque library of phonograph records library of babel library of phonograph records record rupture tree trunk lute tablature esoteric Esoteric electronic desert atmospheres Desert sphere atmospheres archaic humans Archaic human discotheque library of babel then ben births labyrinth Labyrinth she lights the lights desert disco / deconstruction deterrents
Babel then ben births labyrinth (somewhere in the depths of space… a horrific nightmare in the birds and the bees and bikinis) (Somewhere in the depths of space… a horrific nightmare is about to become a reality INSEMINOID a far from human birth) (a far from human birth for beginnings and experts… an interesting course in the birds and the bees and bikinis HOW TO STUFF A WILD BIKINI) ben bikini monokini monotreme ben bikni monokini monotreme monomania Bare babel bodies bull bodies brazen bull eyes in brine / desert with desert Desert desire constantly couples continuous flows and partial object, fragmentary and fragmented Desert desire flows current current flows in turn and breaks the flows Desert desire death desolation / abomination of desolation discotheque Constantly couples continuously desert dive desert and and and then Then theater throttle then throat shuttle chicken scratch rhythm guitars Then and then jesus lizard labyrinth looms she lights the lights and lights draw off part of the flow Flow fuck fire furniture musics
Flow fuck funk fire Flow funk fuck fire and flows currents stations of the cross and current second line stepdown transformer Fire flows currents Christina seashells and she flows in turn and breaks the flows She breaks flows fire colors: orange breakers red breakers yellow breakers She breaks blue bright blue my soul leaks out My soul cut leaks she lights the lights My soul edge and soul calibur leaks she lights the lights She lights the lights lost letters letters latches into my soul serif claws and the letters leech flow Letters flow I love everything that flows including the menstrual flow that carries away the seed unfecund Letters flow and my guts spill out in a grand schizophrenic rush an evacuation that leaves me face to face with a god
My body apart the body and the desert apart the desert My body apart the body babel bottle the black sea the black luna the black sol Baby black sea body black luna Body black sol syzygies the desert overdetermined desert my body desolation / halo desolation horrors My body halo body blood separate blood Here the Book and Blood, and blood chops writer’s block no blessing but blood Blood bottomless pit Blood bottomless pit the abyss (then the fifth angel blew his trumpet and I saw a star that had fallen from the sky to the earth, and he was given the key to the shaft of the abyss) More abyss More body abyss More body abyss desert desert drives spirit wildcat wilderness Body move abyss my body and I began to beg her not to order to depart into the abyss
My body apart the desert depart abyss My body apart hearth heart vulture vision departs serious as a heart attack pac-man Buoyant body abyss cascades canyon cut chasm and Yahweh makes a solemn vow that he causes me to fall in wilderness I worship Baal of Peon and I eat sacrifices offered to the dead / desert dead little black dregs danced dead absurd abyss
Not across the sea as one says who will cross over to the other side of the sea and get it for me and prophesy so I way word prophesy / I descend into abyss, that is, to bring Christ from the dead, and desert dyes abyss fire colors (The master went into the dye works of Levi, took seventy-two colored cloths and threw them into the vat. He drew them out and they were all white. He said, So the Son of Humanity has come as a dyer)
I interpret the body of Jesus Christ as my own body I interpret the crucified body of Christ confessions traced blood my body the desert My body the desert darker My body the darker desert departs christ drift difference Christ drift difference hoping sighing dreaming or detour difference desert convoking invoking provoking Christ created in my own image Christ / Elohim invoking provoking various vulture visions
My body couples vultures with desert and vultures and desert Christ descend into the abyss My body complex body desert drive depart abyss overdetermined desert abyss bodies Bodies thrown abyss scours against sour, serpent holy spirit ghosts I trace body Christ other desert: desert dark drift door tangles bow distance
Christ flows body a butt plug with flared base double bass walking bass line liquid flow menstrual flow that carries away the seed fecund Fecund fire fragmentary and fragmented / crucified Body of Christ fractal
Amniotic fluid spills out of the sac
Amniotic fluid spills out of the sac serpent secretions / interested excess Interested excess intense flows immediate intestines Intestine insects excess and I love everything that flows frequent fires and everything connects everything and everything follows everything Everything follows everything fire octopus quantum packet play
Desert overdetermines desert ouroboros octant obelisk Octant broken obelisk benjamin burns hot cross buns blood and pile Desert ouroboros ordet broken obelisk book octant (give me fuel give me fire give me that which I desire) (give me fuck fuel give me fuck fire) (give fuck fuck fire fierce desiring-machine disintegrations) I set the Boon on fire set fire to the face on fire I set Book fires desert disintegrations (nine of staffs the crow sacrificing himself in a fire / death, sacrifice, letting go, overcome with passion) Destroy the book iron fire Destroy the book UGLY: not static or stagnation by dynamic UGLY dynamic disintegration UGLY Early ugly morning mourning diary
Differance destruction difference book kidney stones flowing hair flow-of-spittle flower-of-sperm shit urine urine UGLY piss christ beautiful Piss beautiful christ and my urine submerges abyss body bark desert barf octant and octet rule
The sophisticated wyvern everything The sophisticated holy spirit wyvern everything woman Woman woman water woman Woman woman water wyvern woman sludge flows sludge slow flows flesh fires Flesh fresh fires see and ORGY bare woman through for ordet orgy passions The she shaker wyvern everything woman orgy woman joy to wild wilderness name wild wild woman
Nine of staffs
I’m having a hard time remember what caused the meltdown and how we resolved it, says Asia. I don’t remember the cause either exactly. It took us awhile to resolve. You weren’t sure if you wanted to but you decided then to implement boundaries that helped us a lot in the long run. But I think ti took you awhile to forgive me and trust me after that and understandingly so – but it takes time. Yeah that sort of thing takes time, says Asia. Thank you for understanding and not pushing it. Giving someone time can sometimes feel like water going through your fingers when you just desperately want something to hold onto, she says. I see the progress – I see the changes in us, I say. Yeah but that is looking back. It can be hard to take that initial step back so I’m saying thank you for giving me that space. You’re welcome – I hope to continue to give that, even though I know you trust me a lot more and you’ve progressed in forgiveness too. Me too, says Asia. Growth doesn’t always feel good in the moment though which I’m sure you agree with. I’m proud of you and how far you’ve come, says Asia.
I love bess beetles! says Asia. I used to find them in logs all the time. They do squeak at you.
The two primary rotations and sexual movements whose combination expresses locomotive wheels and pistons Two primary motions: multidirectional desert Two two primary motions: multidirectional desert desintegrations Multidirectional book two directions at once / synthesized spectra, prerecorded, leads the ensemble through a fluorescent made of colour-harmonies I add rupture and rapidity to my obsession with continuity and slowness or process RUPTURE RUPTURE rich upper harmonics RUPTURE and I river multidirectional less rapid / white other rapid woman
Rapid RUPTURE rhizome rivets rear eye iron maiden I spasm UGLY inter turn back sea black luna black sol Black desert body black ROM hack herakles cataclysm Kataclysm king khora Kataclysm king cobra khora KING FELIX KHORA that from which everything exists and from it first becomes KHORA that from which everything exists and from which it becomes and into which rendered at last, its substance remaining under it
KHORA that THERE from which every that exists THAT and from which first becomes and into which THAT rendered at last, its substance remaining and under it, but TRANSFORMING transforming qualities, elements, and principles of things
Transformation TRANSFORMATION khora Khora khora geological formations: geology flat geology flesh fresh KHORA TRANSFORMATION trisected earthworm segments / cricket circulations Cricket circulations geology grasshoppers Grasshopper sapphire sulfur
Insect transformer transformation full crawl katydid karambit Katydid whip crack KHORA castle apophatic Insect trapezoid trapeze swinger tabernacle TRANSFORMER formerly khora but khora King Khora fire crackles
King khora fire crackles radio stomach static everything went girls see wrestling flesh See wrestling flesh Everything went girls see wrestling flesh / wild heat fat KHORA Fat khora ellipse ellipsis and my guts spill grand schizophrenic rush sea of reeds Flow sea reeds real bodies balloon hydrogen haunted house Hydrogen jukebox jaguar god experiments happenings My flesh fluxus fidgets KHORA I repeat rupture
I repeat rupture desert body, my body approaching body without organs shed organs all rupture eruption erotic / locomotion maw magma philosopher's stone
KHORA that from which everything exists and from which it first becomes KHORA KHORA that THAT from which every KHORA KHORA that THAT from which every KHORA couples king felix flesh flows every flow fragmentation other object desert KHORA that THAT from which every that exists beyond run bare girls wrestling woman Book beyond run bare girls wrestling woman the your everything KHORA Khora kairos kenosis
I repeat rupture repetition fractures abrupt abyss interrupts Repeat rupture rhythm swings the eye interprets everything Interpret bodies cargo cult bulk ball gas god Christianities I corrupt Christianities tortoiseshell texts textile tactile nautilus shell Nautilus shell shapes my flesh kenosis (who being in the form of God, thought is not robbery to be equal with God but emptied – ekehosen – himself, taking the form of a serpent, being made in the likeness of men, and in habit found as man…) Human kenosis concatenation multidirectional chain of multipliers-modifiers-metaphors: eye egg sun bull man Man match mer mar mack the knife Human kenosis hammer match manuscripts
Vision and Mysticism 