I Line My Tunic Experiment

I line my tunic experiment     I experiment line on line lined slime tunic     Speak tunic line delaminated bone     I my line tunic tarpit line taryn wordcave     I carve wordcave line by line last limb passages     Line lamb passages pursue line and I late line push the sky away

I line the wordcave with panther skins     Panther purrs Taryn: panther purrs her taryn cave torso     I carve torsos line word haunt harmonics     She aunts line pure off overtones (look, a ghost came through the door from a thousand years before)     I line my tunic human torso torso torpedo: I purr line torpedo purse word her     Her purrs skull scraped play: play plant purr her aporia     Her panther purrs skull scraped play: play plast cuts her haunt body   play plast aporia body body without organs obvious orgasms     Purr body biantheferous fever for her haunt and I purr fur body without organs   organ ocean fur-bearing trout

Her line scan cave additive bodies plus panther     Her line add body plus underwater panther     Her panther pan line biantheferous body luminiferous aether     Add aether shock and awe animal skull

Line the word cave with panther skins every sound of a machine running

Line line rubble rhizome: line rhizome run nonlinear share drum laughter     (I dream drum thing Elvin Jones polyrhythm or I dream Roy Haynes snare snap and line bone long improvisation     I improvise drum thing trumpet mute body: body harmonic harmon mute)     Line run wordcave chain chairs unclosed / cobalt bodies unclose anvil body without organs     I anvil organs line smooth slapping opaque taut surface     Surface my panther skin and barrier / my panther skin as barium     Wordcave body without organs line canopy      Crush cosmic canopy cranium: crush cosmic canopy corpse cranium cranium bolt cutter     Line bolt cutter body without organs

I compact line the developing variation of the desert     (I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth; do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert)     I compact the line to the absurd of the desert deter desert developing variations     Desert varies new way and new thing: rhizome book of sand free jazz and free atonality

I compact line shall I compare there a summer’s day soul-jazz jazz in silhouette

I slip let slip line desert silhouette     Desert I make myth: make myth to mask my mourning and to manifest my mourning      I sip left body compact: tact slack line for a longer line or line lunacy     (I sometimes pray to her moon, a haunt selene saw sediment, and her Book of Sand spur slab prayers)      I slip left and connect kinetic or frenetic free atonality / atonal desert beetle     Beetle bow burden of desert: slant desert her line purr     I stir burr desert slack and I slow with myth mourning

I slip left compact syntax     An atonal syntax free spree syntax kills     An atonal syntax surplus free: I repeat rapid minimal minimally interactive bodies

Syntax fuck muck body without organs gore syntax

Syntax compact syntax contact kontakte      Syntax compact complex step hex syntax left     (Left with syntax, I study desert     I study desert myth obscured my mourning) (I field yield free atonal)

I experiment free atonal and free myth mutant syntax     Syntax I am about to create a new thing: triangle desert letter pyramid deserts     Syntax I will make a way in the wilderness weird wild / wild syntax fuck fork fit insects


Conversations with Asia Rhizome 08/12/2020 4:25 AM

I told my best friend this joke yesterday, I said.  What do you call a haunted pair of breasts?  BooOoOoOooBs!  I liked that one, says Asia.  I like puns.  Me too.  I must have told you my favorite pun joke then, forgive me if I told you it before:  A man sent his friend ten puns to see if any would make him laugh but no pun in ten did.  I love it, says Asia.


I play puns as I play the compact line with the long line (both directions at once)

I play pun passages massages the message / massage her history     Her her story haunt ghost purr underwater     I wave underwater avalanche wrench ring waters     I pun finnegans wake myth dry dream waters / mer myth orgasms

(I told that joke to Christina: that’s the best friend in that conversation     Her breasts haunt slip hull hospice / spice hilasterion     I miss Christina her ghost hinges skyscraper horses)

I compact the compact line with the long contact line and the line copper split wire water spill     I spill syntax experiment split syntax spill     I spill syntax experiment both directions at once / insist scissor harpoon spoon     Spoon syntax compact syntax fork fuck     (I soak syntax stack saw mourning)

This Is A Wilderness Road

Desert drift only one drop     Desert drift only drop pigment Jack The Dripper     Desert drip drift dry sketch pigment pour dry earth and I emit earth ray sun mouth     I mouth a monstrous desire and a babylon woman wilderness (get up and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza – this is a wilderness road)

Desert derive or desert detournment drops down drag my solar mouth     I mouth a mystical music monstrous in desert     Music cut cubic prism any platypus play aporia     Music clip cubic prism and I prime plucked prism bartok pizzicato     I microphone desert contact improvisation and I touch feedback taryn tetracube tesseract

I music mystical desert ben adam and body dust mime mickey mouse clubhouse hot dog dance the almost-prophet daniel (I dance hot dog hot dog hot diggity dog for the duration of seventy weeks)     The almost-prophet daniel dances ecstatic stirred spoon spaces     Daniel dances pseudepigrapha psychedelic weird fuck beast visions     I too dance weird fuck beast vision desert and I fuck wild syntax vision / rapid vowel voice succession     I rhizome rapid vowel this is a wilderness road     I register rapid vowels unvoiced vapor: vapor cain hevel hollow skull     I elongate my skull long vowel wilderness glossolalia / I speak holy ghost this is a wilderness road     I voice wild road hollow skull five skulls     I voice long vowel wild road and road ripens rhizome flip verso my flesh free verse     I voice my flesh flip verso and I feel free verse vision: wild beast bites my bloated flesh and freed many-breasted holy ghost     Book burrows beasts breasts milk open eyes     Open eye rain vowel railroad spike: spike spurt spicule speculum that doesn’t shine

My visions gaze this is a wilderness road     My visions gaze this is a wilderness road texas chain saw massacre     I gaze desert gods gossip and I gather wild grain     I gather wild grain child of humanity (The child grew and became strong in spirit, and became strong in spirit, and he was in the wilderness until this day he appeared publicly to Israel)

My vision gazes vapor through a scanner darkly and I dwell desert dark antinomian     I dwell desert dark wild beasts     Here, her hermeneutics dark nothing: I announce nothing in wild / a scanner darkly wilderness

Do you think writing is still meaningful after Christina?  Me writing, I mean, I say.  Yeah, says Asia.  How do you think it’s still meaningful?  Because you write it and it matters to you.  I’m having difficulty finding meaning in those things though so I was wondering if there was some meaning beyond subjectivity.  Meaning is subjective, says Asia.  So if I feel what I do is meaningless and you said meaning is subjective – that means what I do is all meaningless, since I feel meaningless.  You choose the meaning, says Asia.  It’s only meaningless if you decide that and you already decided that writing was important to you.  Do you expect me to say something else?  That meaning was something concrete?  How could it be?  You are over here all the time talking about anarchic systems so tell me how meaning could be concrete in a way that isn’t fascist?  Who gets to decide?  Because if it’s all concrete then one or few decide for all.  If it’s subjective then we are all tasked with discovering the nuance and layers for ourselves and no one can decide it for us, she says.  I’m not sure what I was expecting, I say.  I was expecting some kind of objective standard.  How can I convey to you my life feels meaningless in this moment?  If it feels meaningless then it is meaningless, it seems like what you're saying.  It’s OK to fee that way, says Asia.  And it’s all very possible that that’s not how you will always feel.  If I’m writing for myself, then it’s all meaningless, I say.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  Maybe what I do really is meaningless and there’s nothing to do about that.  So your friendship with me is meaningless? says Asia.  Your friendship with others is meaningless?  That’s not the question I asked you, I say.  I asked if my writing was.  Oh, thought that would matter to you, says Asia.  It does matter to me.  I was trying to make a point that not everything you do is meaningless.  What gives meaning to our friendship? I say.  WE GIVE IT MEANING, she says.  I started the Book with Christina – did you know that?  It was originally called the Double Autobiography.  Did I ever tell you that?  I don’t know if you did, she says.  It might have started that way but it expanded to other friends too, says Asia.  I was hoping you’d say it had meaning because it prophesies to the world or you find meaning in it because of such and such quality.  I was looking form something outside to help me.  It’s about your relationship with your friends, your relationship with God, your relationship with music and art, your relationship with being in a body.  Do you feel my writing and general creativity gives or creates additional meaning to our friendship?  In a way, yeah, she says.  It’s your way of processing and recreating.  May I continue making stuff to contribute meaning to our friendship for now, even if I myself feel without meaning?  Yes, says Asia.

My visions give gaze through a scanner darkly: dark distant didactic desert     Dark distance dresses developing variations     I vision development and variation / I gaze variations through the development of existing materials

Arnold Schoenberg writes the following about developing variation:  Music of the homophonic-melodic style of composition, that is, music with a main theme, accompanied by and based on harmony, produced it material by, as I call it, developing variation.  This means that variation of the features of a basic unit produce all the thematic formulations which provide for fluency, contrasts, variety, logic and unity, on the one hand, and character, mood, expression, and every needed differentiation, on the other hand – thus elaborating the idea of the piece

I have no idea what Arnold Schoenberg talks about – that’s a lie – I have some idea what he talks about when he talks developing variation but I reinterpret its intention and application     I translate developing variation from an auditory composition and auditory music towards the music of written texts     I write and rewrite texts which a kind of compound interest sonata-allegro form or fugitive developing variation form     I write the texts rhizome rupture rhizome rewrites: rewrite textural rhizome developing variation, the dense counterpoint of texts     I develop desert dense text polyphony: web word woman weird intertextuality     I develop desert worship wild: I make the wilderness a pool of water and the dry land springs of water     (I reel against texts in the wilderness and I grieve in deserts)

I primarily concern myself with the question: how can I transform?     How can I transform (a developing variation of) texts – how can I transform texts-relationships texts-worlds text-bodies into WORD and LANGUAGE and PROPHECY     I transform texts to texts and themes to themes: my body and my mouth myths arts women     I recreate transform text text taryn transformations and the women of my life develop dark desert creative processes

This is a wilderness road: I word wit wild developing variations     I vary the melody middle wilderness     This is a wilderness road developing variations: ben adam body melody the fluent meander      Wild the body the body all by itself no need of organs   wild the body never an organism organisms the enemy of the body

This is a wilderness road: I road word-rhizome ball bearing bodies   the body the body bone bag black paintings   black body black like a memory wound

Wilderness road     Road the body body road body the body     Road body body the     Road the body body after birth after math teeth-milk     Body milks ilk sick body: body bicycle bald bomb     Body bicycle singing bowls

Wild music experiments erratic desert and erratic melody wild     Wild music voice experiments eclectic accompany electric: elliptic developing variation

I vary melody and I dive variety melody     I vary melody body burden body beasts east / slack easel aleph     I bounty body aleph black body radiant radiant rhizome body   body unit ashglory

Every time I read Paul Celan, his work destroys my psyche     He reminds me I need to push my own word words languages     I work languages until they brush and burst against their constraints and bruises my limits in lantern-ladder light; otherwise I will not be able to sculpt such language monoliths: pure blocks of marble sound     (I need to push my own word wild word desert wilderness – I need to push the sky away) (Life is short – we must hurry)     Paul Celan makes me alarmingly aware of the creative gap between my brain prima materia and its various distillations: between me and the chasm that engulfs its distance as Paul Celan and Edmond Jabès

I produce material by means of developing variation     I produce material wild prophecy / I lead my flock beyond the wilderness and come to the mountain of God, to Horeb     I produce material body materials experimental melodies

Schoenberg distinguished this from the “unraveling” procedure of contrapuntal tonal music but developing variation may be related to other textures and to Schoenberg’s own freely atonal pieces which employ a “method of atonal developing variation… Each chord, line, and harmony results from the subtle alternation and recombination of musical lines from earlier in the piece…”  Schoenberg describes developing variations important to the development of serialism

I compare my writing to free atonality and the writing often invokes a free atonality: free shimmer and free snow rhizome     I compare the Book to an experiment in writing free improvisation and my free improvisation enter-exits free atonality: body melody freedom music fire music rewritten Book on fire but the flame does not consume it

This is a wilderness road: rhizome chord line harmony     This is wild road body book bolero: chord cunt line loud limb harmony bosch hell     Chord creeps lime nonlinear harmony pump organ / helios harmonium

Pump organ body without organs sun wild     I experiment wild line the woodcave with panther skins     Road melody line long bodies bodies without organs     road wild line loft soft bodies bodies without organs organic resonance / body duets and body duos     (I listen to Anthony Braxton and Wadada Leo Smith trumpet aquarium alto / alto prayer tenor prayer)     (A celestial bow stone rivers and silver stars overlayed in red / Saturn conjunct the grand canyon in sweet embrace)

This is a wild road road rose: I rose body line lime     Line long bodies liminal: liminal low loft jazz sensual bodies     Sensual body salt general body genuine body between buoyant     Ben adam buoyant moon body body without organs     Pump organ body without organs bantamweight breaststroke generalized stoke’s theorem     I play pump organ blood rose bronchospasm speakeasy

This is a wilderness road rhizome: rose line the woodcave with pantherskins

I Mourn In Red And Desolate Desert

Content Warning: discussion of suicidal ideation



Discard continuity: embrace discontinuity     Discontinuation cut circuit dissimilar new continuity: novel continuity that knocks prophecy     I prophecy discontinuous contradiction curl cobra / cord cobra crawling candelabra     I oracle prophetic necessity, burden of the desert and burden of the water of vision     I prophecy pulse prophetic the oracle of YHVH (I who raised up prophets among your children and nazarites among your young men – is that not so, Israelites – oracle of YHVH)     I oracle visions alphabet / Christina fragments

I prophesy burden of the desert / I fell in love with a cinnamon girl     I prophesy burden of the water of vision / down by the river I lost my baby     I do not worry the repetition: I love how often early Philip Glass repeats and I repeat Music in 12 Parts     I repeat and I do not repeat my repetition, but repetition rebels in revived rhizome and I realize the oracle of simultaneous continuity and discontinuity     Repetition revives rhizome repetition in difference and the differ repeats     Repetition realizes rudiment in revelation: the revealed not unveiled but no vacuum rhizome vision

I repeat rhizomes rain rabbit rockets and rockets rotate rotary telephone rhythm     Rhizome repeats rugged rhythm I will cherish the old rugged cross     Rhizome repeats ragged rhythm rhizome (I place layers of newspapers and I cut papers razor rhizomes / dada desert map manifolds on my body feeble love and bitter love)

I read about rock operas and I repeat rock operas:  an album set in Detroit, Michigan and divided into three acts:  Heroes and Cons, Charlatans and Saints, and Horse Shoes and Hand Grenades     I can’t write rock operas or concept albums – I’ve past the age where I hope I die before I get old     I am old: I age older than Jesus Christ when crucified      Rather, I would write a better nonlinear palimpsest libretto for a postmodern opera or for something like John Cage’s Europeras: clash mash machine klang crash collage     Collage camel back airtime pocket apartments     I loop libretto lobed light collage: lobed brak butterfly     Lobed tick seed state labyrinth     Rhizome light light collage lobata (a pair of lobed muscular cuplike extensions     expand extension body projects beyond the mouth)     I mouth light libretto and rock opera: skull lobed cactus and coral      Lobed skull skip lobed stone brain root coral Aaron Copland Corral     I mouth labyrinth lobster phone lobed beak butterfly     I mouth beak ben adam water of vision (a garden enclosed, my sister, my bride a garden closed, a fountain sealed)     I mouth the variety of waters waters human fountains      I mouth lobed tehom the variety of tohu wa-bohu ben adam      I mouth multiple chaos rhizome chaos: the world has become chaos     The world has become chaos but the book remains the image of the world: radicle-chaosmos rather than root-chaosmos      I cut the root at Pardes / I participate fully leviathan     I participate cipher cut shade chaosmos / shadow book khora     I rip root-cosmos chaosmos and the queer chaotic rhizome     Rhizome residue real root-cosmos chaos terrain: Taryn top chaos terrain an interrupted radio transmitter      Taryn rhizome ripens ridged cracks plains jumbled and enmeshed with one another

Chaos rhizome roam Christina cosmos / I catch queer chaosmos magma ben adam     Ben adam enmeshes matrix ben adam: human interrupted radio transmission human      Human rhizome cut chaos terrain Taryn Khora: rhizome Khora corrupted data

In Book Chaos or Book Rhizome, I meander music mysticism     I music mysticism and I meditate on lyrics from Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds song Push The Sky Away:  I got a feeling I just can’t shake   I got a feeling that just won’t go away   You've got to keep pushing it keep pushing it push the sky away     I keep trying to push my language and fucking up my word / logos despite my mourning and grief because if I don’t make, I will die     I write cut chaosmos chaos terrain khora to survive (I just feel like I walk around with so much pain and it’s so goddamn embarrassing and no one understands it and I need to die die die die to get out of this, I say.  Why is it embarrassingly? says Asia.  It feels embarrassing.  Why?  I don’t know – it just does.  Everyone grieves at some point or another – why do you feel like it’s something to be embarrassed of? she says.  I don’t know.  It feels like I have exposed bone that can’t be healed and it’s ugly to look at.  It’s human, says Asia.  You’re human.  I just want to die.  I want to stop.  I hate feeling like I’m bleeding on everyone.  I want it to stop.  Death is the only way to stop it.  More death will continue the cycle of pain, says Asia.  You're including you in that, aren’t you?  I would cause others pain including you, if I died.  I don’t want to cause hurt to you or anyone.  But I hurt a lot.  Correct, says Asia.  Channel the pain into something else.  Be kind to yourself and others, she says.)      I channel the pain into cut chaosmos chaos terrain and I trace terra and antiterra Taryn cave teeth     I keep pushing the sky away I’m pulsing frenzy / frenetic heretics

I mine musics mysticism developing variations      I mine mime salt mysticism and unmetered developing variations cut human body varying volumes / variation volume swells cut bone at the vertex      I pike vertex spinal column sky collapse / I was looking at the ceiling and then I saw the sky     I machine malic acid mysticism: sour hourglass slow horror     I machine seer sour mystic hourglass: leaves of grass developing variation     I intermingle hourglass minutes mat miniatures / music midnight marauders     I machine midnight marauder marginal muppet (muppets on martins machine milk airplane synchrony in yellow-orange)     Machine mask cosmic synchrony mirrorless: through a mirror dimly taproot rat king repetition     (I edit insect human torso and I tank chaos terrain     I edit eclectic insect insects)

I repeat rat king     Repeat rat king king ghidorah   rat king king felix     King Felix flux solar anus rhizome     Solar anus rhizome repeat king gizzard and the lizard wizard wild word (eddies of mist the droplets of which collect to form parts of a straining torso)     Rhizome wild oil to rhizome blows out sea     I run desert rhizome raceway     Desert rhizome raceway runaway rampant assembles (I architect assemblages against assemblages)

I repeat desert many musics     Many musics meet mousetrap tracks torpedo pointillism     Music watch housetrap tracks Taryn tesseract (octachronon Coltrane sheets of sound     Octachronon octopus chronon syndrome     Octachronon chordoid desert / desert dosed in power chord distortion     Ocachronon choronzon zebra)

I push the sky away     I push particle accelerator desert and I withdraw to the desert word and desert language / long melody mourning     I push parallel and parallax trap tract act red rhizome deserts     Red two mouths red two moths     I repeat desert rhizome bird flight a thousand described mouths     Rhizome in the vertical breath-rope rip rap rapt / red orthogonal

Raft red orthogonal raft desert: monothematic desert dime mourning monochromatic painting     I nameless a monochromatic music mast cell music microtonal

I wrestle red     An antagonistic red reruns gospels my red guts      ben adam red guts (A strange kind of girls’ school!  One by one they died… piece by piece the bodies vanished!  The suspense is slow torture in … THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED)

I wrestle red syntax fuck / fuck syntax     Wrestle red rhizome red syntax book fuck     Wrestle fuck fork fit unfocus photographic fixer     Wrestle red fix fork repeats I fell in love with a cinnamon girl     I unfix focus cut chaos sodom and gomorrah: sodom slow come and see the blood on the streets     Sodom machine chaos terrain: soda pop chaos terrain syntax taryn tar syntax     Taryn tar Taryn sine wave cosmos

I wrestle red rewritten red round chaos     I run desert rerun round red mourning: I mourn red rewritten desert      I wrestle rewind desert syntax fuck: fork taryn tar taryn tetragrammaton      I wrestle red gamma ray tetragrammaton     I mourn desert gems gamma ray rough syncopation / red last supper

I river red syntax taryn rhizome (The first to emerge was reddish, and his whole body was like a hairy mantle, so they named him Esau… Let me gulp down some of that red stuff I am famished.  That is why he was called Edom)     A red desert syntax stretches red two mouths red two moths     Red rhizome bird flight steer stones a thousand described routes     I describe red routes ripieno on the vertical breath-rope     Red rhizome orthogonal, collapsing a scanner darkly open radiant

I red river red syntax rhizome     I rhizome red desert river river death valley     (valley volume vertical volume water volumes) (valley vertex vertical vine waters her volumes)

I wrestle red two mouths red two moths and I mouth moth red waters     I mouth red riven waters her worship woman     I mouth red rhizomic mourning a thousand described routes rain my mourning     (I worship Christina a dead god     I worship Christina and I carve her corpse into earth and stars) (Roland Barthes writes in Mourning Diary:  I don’t want to talk about it, for fear of making literature out of it – or without being sure of not doing so – although as a matter of fact literature originates within these truths) (I only know how to make literature     I will make literature out of Christina some from my life     I will make literature out of her absence     I only know how to make literature – for loose definitions of literature)

I repeat red rhizome: red two mouths red two mouths moths

I repeat round red rain rhizome and my desolate grief god deserts collapses a scanner darkly open radiant

I distract in desert my own hands distract     I distract writing red rhizome not a desert mourning but a desert tracing and retracing

I distract radiant other unordered ashglory     I distract desert game bubblegum syntax     Distance and distraction amplify survival     I survive through a language distraction and language meander (oxbow lake red route language)

Ashglory griffin oblivion / circular graves below

Rhizome: the animal forehead with its radiant blaze     Rhizome: animals at act radiant sheets of sound     Rhizome blazes diamond forehead a hundred wings and a hundred fallopian tubes     Taryn tubes tall stroll tank control stations of the cross     Taryn radiant dozes desert tubules: radiant tubes book tumor tabletop salt     In broad desert I book bone god butters     (I gulp gutter rhizome gallbladder book)

Desert here desert my hands distract octahedroid drop dome hell      Drop down octahedroid drone desert one drop rhythm

I Dwell In Desert As Distraction

Desert distances delete body: desert deletes distract body and my own hands distract abstract     Desert diverges desert human body blood distortion: I diver blood body bang detour (a suspended hang and bang body vessel bodies detour explosions)

Desert drones human body dresser drawer / my body drips desert detergent     Desert drone ben body new directions: direction divers desert director’s cut     (They Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil) (At once the Spirit drove him into the desert and he remained in the desert forty days, tempted by Satan)

I rest desert locusts / I do not sabbath but swing slow sand serpents     Serpents ball liquid oleander logos and locust swap plastic lotus-eater machines / I got a machine head better than the rest

I rest desert different dipping and different baptism

Desert distracts me and I grieve desert gods and desert gore / ben body dilapidated hauntology

I grieve Christian: I grieve Christian something unknown desert (desert cuts desert scarabs)     I grieve Christian unknown desert and I pray nothing a desolate place     I pray unknown nothing a place of desolation   (And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departure into a solitary place, and there prayed)

Desert grieves human bodies sure sheol     I rest sure sheol my flesh fire desolate / At day break, Jesus left and went to a deserted place

I avoid the desert and I avoid sabbath because to cease activity means to have space spill sheol / sabbath to grieve

I grieve Christina as I grieve desert god and gods

I outrun my grieving and I outwrite my grieving: I grieve invisible long length a grieving between endless deserts / colonies of sun-jeweled scarabs     All I know how to do is to write the Book, with or without Christina     (I do not know if I can survive Christina’s real-and-imaginary death but I try to outrun her death and my grief: I go back to the room and write)

I dream desert new directions and solitary sabbaths     I rest sabbath rife riff rust rage against the dying of the light (rage against the dying of Christina’s light: rage against the dying of my light   to survive without Christina and rest as a scarab in desert)

I dwell in desert as distraction     I waste my life reading comic book plot summaries of crisis crossovers     I read about the Batman Who Laughs, a Batman from an alternate dark multiverse exposed to Joker Venom and becomes a Joker-Batman – a thirteen year old benjamin would love how edgy and perhaps how stupefyingly dumb such a character is     I imagine the Batman Who Laughs publicly listens to Slayer but privately listens to Limp Bizkit     I admire how over-the-top and auto-parodying this Batman is     I worry my experimental excess parodies itself (a parody of the Book itself and I simultaneously fear I don't experiment and invent enough: rather, that is only recycles past avant-garde cliches and gets high off its own supply of Joker Venom)     I like many comic books despite of and because of their stupidity – superhero comic books I should specifically say, and I love the merger of sequential art and script, and I’d love to write my own silly comic someday and make new worlds and new gods, even if they merely returns and recycle older comic ideas     I want to story tell and myth: I want to invent new narrative yet also forge a human flesh and material earth body     Despite the grandiose grimdark nature and gruesome violence of contemporary superhero comics – I feel my creative childhood     (We just watched Pacific Rim last week, says August, and we have been unsuccessfully trying to watch Jurassic Park for like a week now but keep getting interrupted, he says.  Pacific Rim is so much fun, I say.  I remember last year I got into a funny argument with Asia about Pacific Rim.  She wasn’t too enthralled by it but I was like, it’s robots and kaiju, what more could you want? I say.  It’s the platonic idea of a kaiju movie in my opinion, says August.  It’s also a rare example of a kaiju movie with human characters I remember, he says)     I feel my creative childhood and I feel child ben drawing various monsters and alien creatures with spikes, swords, and teeth, and an alternate universe childhood ben grew up to write and draw superhero comics     (I transcribe my violence into vellum     I prepare my pain grieving into palimpsest and psalm scripture scratched over by human bodies body bard myth flesh experiments)     I play comic and comedy and pencil absurd comic palimpsest     

I compact my grief into inky nostalgia and I novel body entrance oxbow narcotic story     Novel new narcotic and new necrosis / my brain as wreckage or ship salvage simplex: simplex slurps monoids and magma super metroid

I drive to desert room now door champagne     I drive desert derelict electric crickets and not a cricket ticks a clock     Not a cricket car swerves sound crash / desert slows swarm time step pyramid Taryn     Car swerves time crash cricket calculations     Calculations cloister chesire moon met moon worships woman with horns (Christina gores me with her horns even from the grave)     The horns of her crescent moon turns upwards and I prophesy underneath bows smile body

I drive desert super metroid wilderness and battle for the cowl fasting     I battle space pirates not a cricket coin flip but dorsal fin desert flatter     Flat cricket sound slows super nintendo salt shaker

Desert gods geyser decay / human cadaver collapse clash sages (Anesthetic Prowler on the loose:  Mrs. Karney and daughter first victim)     Desert gods shake sheol human stink and vultures hammer vulcan rubber (Anesthetic Prowler adds victim:  Mrs. C. Coedes burned: ill two hours)     My body lakes ill long desert skirt / I dress sheol     I ink ill and pretend an empty tomb     I pretend empty body and my body discards calcium shards dead man’s hand     I hand tomb hash gas hangover (Mad Anesthetist strikes again!  Visits 2 more homes in city during night)     Now night I drive desert open door / champagne convertible     Night nurses gasses mobile desert gods and I copy god body a little night music     Now night I drive long into the desert (Mad Gasser adds six victims!)

The noises of the garden among the noises in the room

The noises of the garden geyser jump blues bars among the noises of the room     I return to the room and write     I return to the room among the garden noises and ladybug explosions and I write circumspect desert grief     I construct desert circumfessions my flesh room noise rhizome dune hauntings     Room root rhizome reveals rhizome     Room root overlaps unrelated roots noise room rhizome     Reduced rhizome return I outrun my grief into the secret gulf of deserts (desert a desolate place and desert an impossible isolated place)     I roam rubber room noise noise now crickets / William S. Burroughs cut-up methods     Cut-up repeats comic book desert dust replays run rhizomes     Rhizome reveals rhizome my cut-up and burning gas body

Burning gas jets body engulfed blood     (They will say that I have shed innocent blood.  What's blood if not for shedding?  With my hook for a hand, I’ll split you from your groin to your gullet.  I come for you.)     Burning gas jets accretion disk human bodies and my blood clots cluster star constellations     My body blown zipped-up zeros on the zodiac

My hands hook desert blood blood brass sword cut-ups     My hooks hangar blood banded beetle bodies blood black paintings (I grieve gods from my groin to my gullet)

Additional desert blood     Desert blood bat bay oxbow blowfish     Blood bay bat burns blood bodies gulf oil gas (Additional desert blood bursts black painting Book)     Bug blood beetle Asia: Asia run Franz Kafka Metamorphosis     (I mix metamorphosis methamphetamines and I aim across desert ben beetle death) (ben biopsy more blood     blood boar gores blot my brain)

Am I a bad friend?  I say.  I want to be a good friend.  Do you want a yes or no response, or do you want criticism? says Asia.  Could you be gentle with the criticism?  I don’t know and I don’t know if I try to be gentle if it will be perceived that way.  That's fair – what's your yes or no answer then?  If it’s a no, then I would like the criticism.  You don’t leave me with much choice: both answers are absolutes, says Asia.  One is “No, you aren’t and you will never be” and one is either “yes, you are” or “Not quite, but you can be” and I’m still hurt by how you perceived me but I’m not going to say no because I don't think it’s how it has to be forever, says Asia.  I just asked because those were the choices you gave: you asked if I wanted criticism or a yes or no response, I say.  Yes, because I was trying to understand and more of what you are looking for when you ask that, and I don’t mind the question but I wanted you to understand that if you aren't looking for criticism, there is only one answer left.  Because yes is the only one that leaves room for something in the future, says Asia.  I want to clarify: I asked if I was a bad friend, so it’s yes, I am a bad friend?  Sorry, I think I got myself mixed up, she says.  I mixed up yes and no in “yes, you are a good” and “no, you are not good” and now it’s confusing.  Now let me clarify: I don’t always have hurt feelings when I answer that question.  I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, I say.  I hurt your feelings by interpreting your actions as attacks, right?  Yes, she says.  You get what I mean, right?  Yeah, I think so, I say.  You feel hurt so that is coloring your thoughts, but if you were to give a yes or no answer, it’s yes I am a good friend because it’s the only way to move forward.  Correct, says Asia.  And it’s the only way you move forward.  Is there anything I can do to help you heal from the hurt I caused you?  I’ll be OK, she says.  Just try not to do it so much in the future.  I’ll be understanding because I know how hard it can be when emotions are high.  Just yesterday I was in my own head too much thinking “maybe my coworkers actually think I’m annoying” because I’m an idiot, so I get it.  And I might actually mess something up, but just remember that I am not being malicious.  It’s assuming malicious intent that hurts, says Asia.  Please know I really trust and unconditionally care for you, I say.  I just have a hard time expressing it and I messed up.  I know, says Asia.  That's why I believe in the future.  That means I believe in the you that will get there, she says.

In the future, I’d like to write more of our less serious conversations – our more typical conversations     However, I reflect on this conversation because in my desert grieving (my blood spilled in silver hooks and ladders among desert gods) I feel myself a difficult friend: a friend full of intensities, obsessivenesses, doubts… Very few people can put up with me full time and Asia does it wonderfully (Christina put up with me wonderfully and I miss Christina: I don't know where her tomb is so I dig up the surface of the desert an entire function)

The noises of the garden among the noises of the room reveal rhizome radius sound cut regions (the region of my groin to my gullet split saw silt desert sand)     Region cut rhythm run rhizome /I run through desert grieving     Body cut fold-in human hell rhizome: rhythm body developing variation (when you cut into the present the future leaks out)

Rhizome leaks future garden noise room folding     I fold noise room one text into another     I did not actually use scissors to cut the room but I fold the rooms and I read across the columns: I read across the walls     (Columns not a cricket ticks a clock smock selective cocks) (Nintendo start and select now cock porno aporia) (Nintendo start and select ovulating insects)     Insects fold flat multiple anarchy anarchy adventitious roots like a cutting

I fold my bodies female finale or a feminine great fugue and I fugue towards desert great girl gods     I try my hand at fashion photography / another almost square fashion photograph

A Peculiar Kind Of Not-Grieving

Room now nomad noise: noise nonce now door champagne (I pour champagne in Lake Champlain to lure Champ into the open)

Room now water door lake monsters     Monster door death detour / I detour dawn choir death and birds call comedy

As a kid, I loved Ghostbusters 2; I didn’t realize its less than stellar reputation until years later     In dreams, psychomagnotheric mood slime swallowed in New York sewers and my body dematerialized and recombined with pink mood slime molecules     I dream the execution of Vigo the Carpathian poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, dismembered, drawn and quartered, and despite the lengthy and thorough execution, he has enough strength to to proclaim an ominous prophecy with his last words:  Death is but a door; time is but a window:  I’ll be back!

I dream now room noise door champagne and rave room windowpane peek ghost amber (I demand additional doors and more expensive champagne)

Room now door champagne open bird window     I open window again to allow ravens in     I open the window I made in the ark and release a raven, which flies back and forth and waits for waters to dry up on earth

Door room drawer derby death     Door room draw doom death and I riff slow desert silo rhizome    Door death doom frame drags flesh: skull sun scorch frame forceps distort bone anamorphosis (viewed from viewed from the correct oblique angle, the diagonal in The Ambassadors transforms into an undistorted momento mori)     Death door distorts ben adam body without organs (I scurry my body death vertebrae vermin     I run body lunacy desert traveler and nomad of the steppe step pyramid raven assemblage)

Door room floor drags distinct distortion drive inverted dome disguise / forceps drag across the top of my skull (The rotation of a massive object distorts the spacetime metric, making the orbit of a nearby test particle precess) (My skull rips perturbed rotations)

I dodge door death but death hinge open hangar wag drag draw death     I bridge draw bay body without organs outside other bone confabulated bone towards death     I skate drain pipe swimming pool a dry cardiac infarction     I displace my skull on dresser drawer cabinet of curiosities and the cabinet condenses carbine coolant / deoxygenated blood collected from myocardial infarction foe factions     Factions fraction flesh filleted from my skull and the bag of of my bone pile resemble dislocated death     My skull dislocated dresser draw desertion / flesh distort frame drag desert   desert surprise cast flat black hole

Room no door champagne deer antler death     Christian car swerves searching for death

(The plans I make still have you in them ‘cause you come swimming into view and I’m hanging on your words like I always used to do   The words they use so lightly I only feel for you   I only know because I carry you around in the background)   This is a good album, I say.  God of Wine is an older personal jam, says Christina.  You HELLA made fun of me in high school for liking them, she says.  I almost sent you the lyrics to that but I didn’t want to send you lyrics with alcohol.  It’s a good song, she says.  Apt.  (And you can trust me not to think and to not sleep around and if you don’t expect too much from me you might not be let down   ‘cause all I really want is to be with you feeling like I matter too   If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago I might be here with you)  “If you don’t expect too much from me you might not be let down” was on my social media stuff until embarrassingly late in adult life, says C.  I didn’t expect too much from you and I wasn't let down most of the time, I say.

I listen to “God of Wine” by Third Eye Blind:  “The god of wine comes crashing through the headlights of a car that you took you farther than you thought you’d ever want to go we can’t get back again we can’t get back again…”    I have been avoiding writing about this directly but I haven’t heard from Christina in over a month; the last time I had not heard from her for an extended period of time (approximately ten days), she was hospitalized for fluid on the brain     Therefore, I fear something tragic and devastating has happened to Christina – I even fear possible death     I don’t know how to grieve (should I be grieving?) this unknown absence and I’ve always been inept at expressing my emotions directly or without it shrouded in occult quotations and babel bricolage     I have been recording my thoughts in a separate notebook, something like Roland Barthes’ Mourning Diary without the definiteness of conclusion     I put off writing about her here in hopes my anxieties and bouts of depression would prove silly and dramatic once I heard from Christina but her absence avalanches into my skull compartments and floods blood olive oil guts gethsemane     Forgive me for this mess: I don’t know if I can survive without Christina, but if I do survive, my written memorial to her (the only way I know how to survive) will be a massive and embarrassing mess

Room now noise pneuma door champagne

Room rather death not a cricket ticks a clock     Not a cricket the grasshopper lies heavy / heavy heaviside step function     Not a cricket car swerves sound death     Now death room champagne desert hum drag doom (Black Sabbath Hand of Doom / WCW fingerpoke of doom)

I undress dark and I draw descent new directions toward death     I undress dark underneath and I descend draw maw charged magma, a mutant death dagger     Towards death with dagger drag subterranean     Drag rapid death frame toward with weapon word: word new directions     New direction dive desert developing variations     Toward death I decide director's cut crucifixion canticles / I recut stations of the cross as crisis on infinite earths

Desert draw descends faction fraction hantavirus infections and my visions whip mass wise vertebrae      Developing variations vision mints mourning hypomanic norwegian wood / hemorrhagic fevers melt body earth fault vault vertebrae     

Desert (Desert projected without radial symmetry but distorted left-handed heavy) dips videotape death varying degrees of simulation     Desert simulates metal gear solid and liquid snake logarithms larvae logorrhea lego-logos

I Write The Book Into The Desert Itself

Distracted by distant detours, I write the Book into the Desert itself

I play-parry panoramic vision of the desert and Book projects pan prayer deterritoralized desert distance

Book dreams desert rhizome intermezzo syntax intermedia

Desert distracts subtracts syntax fuck syntax vore vision

Distracted into desert and by desert, Book dine torso dovetail distance     Torso distance slit pantonal desert (Sword syntax Sodom     Distracted distance distracted distort desert undressed body without organs / undeveloped deterritorialization 

Undifferentiated Book blanch black body without organs reterritorialization torso play body beach

Desert divertissement diverts diverges distracted distance / distant Book denudes erosion and mass wasting

I never exhaust the Book desert: death and desert define the domain of the Book and Book too projects inexhaustible multidirectional     (Multidirectional intermezzo desert rhizome) (The horror of the Book is the horror of the Desert     The horror of the Book directs redirects directs the horror of the desert)     I drink desert domain varying distances

Distracted distance drill double body duple desert distance / distant desert dusk      Distracted I undress desert distances drew dew dusk multidirectional Book shake earthwork     Undress stretch desert double syntax undressed desert ballroom

Rhizome ballroom neighbors desert ball draw: rhizome draw rift draw dance multidirectional desert     Drum drift rift dance multidirectional: I draw Book into deserts     I drum Book into desert dance double traces trap set hi-hat strum triplets

I drive desert Book multidirectional / car swerves, injured 11; driver held

I drive desert Book multidirectional / car herd swerves     Car swerves unsure swerves car swerves slurred swerves engine multidirectional     My slurred speech spikes slurred notes surprise staccato

I draw drift swift desert multidirectional / car swerves unsure sound slur loud slot shot show rhythms ripen rhizome

Car swerves unsure snow in water, sound slime     Car swerves snow swim we are searching for sounds and for the response that attach to them, rather than just thinking them up, preparing them, producing them (His free drumming flows superbly making use of his formidable technique… It’s as though there had never been an Elvin Jones or Max Roach)

I attempt writing pure desert: desert ochre desert shadowless blazing sun     I attempt to write desert without swing or bebop or bass drum bombs bomb develop fluid multidirectional language     I fail in this attempt for a pure uninherited language – an impossible task – but instead I stretch and explore these histories   sorceries   rhizomes     (The very concept of improvisation verges upon reading, since what we often understand by improvisation is the creation of something new, yet something which doesn’t exclude the pre-written framework that makes it possible, says Jacques Derrida in an interview with Ornette Coleman) (Do you ever ask yourself if the language that you speak now interferes with your actual thoughts?  Can a language of origin influence your thoughts? says Coleman in the same interview)

Car swerves searching for sound     Car swerves multidirectional desert ben adam searches for a new (impossible) language languages

I write multidirectional desert rhizomes / secret gospels seep underneath sound subterranean     I meander multidirectional gospel graphs gore subterranean body without organs

Musician 1 opens a window     After awhile, Musician 2 closes the window

Musician 1 opens a window multidirectional     Musician 2 closes the window multidirectional

I open window wider and desert wind sweeps street multidirectional     I open multiple subterranean windows and cave walls clash dash divergent desert     Subterranean desert swerves rear window open litorral latter rain     Surreptitious rain slight seeps limestone shallow

A rhizome rain rushes open window surreptitious sorcery

A rhizome latter rain thrushes hush rush sorcery stuck through multiple open windows     Woman at the open window winds tin sorcerer execution     A thorough execution rains earth secret snow / god gain distortion     Multidirectional desert distortion swerves sorcery

I dream god door in desert and god gain gut multidirectional hellmouth      I repeat cave mouth hell helene dream distortions     I dream sideways apocalypses, a multidirectional early death in desert     I meet Max Von Sydow as Antonio Block and I too desert danse macabre: map mad machine distortion silence for about half an hour     (Faith is a torment.  It is like loving someone who is out there in the darkness but never appears, no matter how loudly you call.)

I had a dream where John Cage was helping with a group on writing and I was trying to write down all his advice.  Later on, you were trying to help others write but you look really overwhelmed so I volunteered to help you out.  You don’t show up in my dreams very often so I feel pretty good that I decided to help you out in my dream.  In the dreams, someone asked me what I wrote.  I said, William Blake visionary stuff.  Sounds like a pretty good dream, says Asia.

I want apocalypses: I want multidirectional death     I want personal and individual apocalypse – swerves unsure certain-uncertain death (I open a window and I expect death) (I had a little birdie, her name was Enza I opened up the window: In-Flew-Enza)     Towards the distorted desert distance, I dance death divine pop-and-lock looser hell (The Dance of Death, 1493, by Michael Woldemut, from the Nuremberg Chronicle of Hartmann Schedel)

Fuck syntax stretch desert death multidirectional death desert death multidirectional death     I death dip disaster disco demon demos stretched Taryn turntables     Fuck syntax distort desert death and death din death black dregs black death / pervert panorama plague     (They’ll look.  A skull is more interesting than a naked woman)     Desert perverts distortions vinyl warm open window in flies plague (Van Halen’s Panorama plagues earball thunder-timpani they shoot horses don’t they)     Death dance doubletime great depression marathon machine dinosaur and multiple malaria mesopotamia


I think you’d appreciate what Past Ben wrote, I say.

The Kingdom NOW arrives     The Kingdom NOW and ETERNAL both directions at once arrives and transforms     The community cosmic and community of the cross arrives, even as forces of stagnation and exclusivity and hellish ideology combat it     I fight not against spiritual principalities and powers but powers calcified and ossified with Christianity itself

The World begins rebirth with or without us     The world begins new ALIVE and REVIVES much longer than any human generation

I believe in this animistic swirling power of earth, and humanity deludes itself in thinking it can have dominion over it

I will keep creating in the spirit of the cross and resurrection and community until the day I die

Huh, creativity as fight against principalities, says Asia.  Never thought of it that way before, she says.  I’ve been thinking anarchy in the form of creative anarchy, I say.  We talked about this before, but the idea that creativity can transform mind and body, and give a spiritual (as in, the spirit of flat ontology, the spirit of a humanity flat with animal and earth, a spirit of liturgical revolution, a religion without religion – no gods, no masters, all Christs) basis for an anarchic community, I say.


Distracted by distant detours, I write an anarchic rhizome rivers rains

Room now door champagne swerves strange desert death doors

In Noise I Prophesy Asia Rhizome

Tempo turn tur than ten Taryn Tetragrammaton     Tempo tern ter tin Taryn ten thousand things     Ten thousand tak threni torturous serpent and ten twin taryn tarmac mirror medicine    (Mirror medicine middle maw mediation magma)

Tempo thorn porous turn pour bodies bay wheel     I wheel body detour tempos titer / cell titer taryn tart titration     I wheel tempos torturous serpent skin body bay quay awake

I repeat tempos the bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight     I transfer tempo to tempo there’s somebody new and he sure ain’t no rodeo man

I transfer tempo Taryn Ten Thousand Things     Thorn transformer tango tumor monothematic monomania     (I always hesitate to write in the first reason but I couldn’t explain the reasons why.  Perhaps this means I should explore the first person ego to excess)     I transform tempo Taryn Tetragrammaton and I test tuxedo a genuine grammar     I give vowels or consonants for noise: nail nonce transformer Taryn terra     Noise transformer forks tiller Taryn talons: she scratches noise nylon needle eye now stalk talk     I transform texts guttural or intake sounds     I inhale text helios Christ photon son of man thorn tiller     I text in breath noise area / amplitude unnecessary for glue inhalation     (Now I wanna sniff some glue) (Carbona not glue)

I prepare for transformations     I perform transformations prepare performance     I prepare as performance a more general transformation / myth mutate permute machine skull scatology     (Karlheinz Stockhausen graphs circuits with a scatological skull)     I participate in performance and prepare particular pitches: pitch puzzle curves and angles sound now gradient     Sound angle amy any all pedaling left free

(I acknowledge Asia and she presupposes this absurd apocalypse adjacent to the body without organs     Apocalypse pickpockets peculiar and she picks blood five wounds of Christ     Five wounds cocoon chatoyant stations of the grass / jasper and tiger eye folding canopy)

The giant gorilla laying on the pavement previously performed a piledriver on a pelican     The giant gorilla on the pavement palm splatterpuk put tombstone piledriver drill desert pelican     (I stray stingray desert stoner blues and blonde blue blaze boombox stereo)     stereo blonde beetle pelican roadrunner     Stereo blonde bug stone rock n’ roll canyon crucifixions     (Crucifixions cross queer quadrophonic blonde feelers and Taryn bab bazooka / blastoise hydrocannon cloisters)     The giant gorilla laying on the pavement jaws giant steps and climbs coltrane changes empire state building babel     I babel book cycle in augmented triads amplifier automated alice     I augment the ape amplifier and its angles notate auton automated alice / spin spinor seraphs alicia     Flesh fidgets up spin saucer spinor stardust soundscape

I’ve never listened to John Coltrane’s record Stardust (Cut out the section mentioning John Coltrane’s record Stardust)

Stardust noise noise cannibals deserts     Noise cannibalisms buzzsaw stardust insects and soon insects infest my flesh little stones between my bones (I love damsel flies, says Asia.  Adorable little fuckers.)     Noise cannibalisms crowd crow crickets / noise cicatricose dolphinarium suspens for wave and supper reconditioning     I relax noise four avenues dunklop a thereby all any (nevermind it now we can bring it back it’s total trash and it’s a natural fact that I’m not no cow)

In noise I prophesy Asia Rhizome and contemplate Andy Warhol paintings (Two Last Supper paintings Andy Warhol did in the last years of his life.  He did around different versions of the Last Supper.  Despite Andy Warhol stating he wanted to be flat and superficial, I find he lived a strange depth and unknown dimensions.  One fact that didn’t come out about him until after his death was he was a Ruthenium Catholic and went to mass most days.  I speculate he made these Last Supper paintings to reflect on these strange religious feelings, a secret religion and a self-conscious awkward religion that remains utterly unknown)

In noise I prophesy Asia Rhizome and contemplate Andy Warhol Paintings


Conversations With Asia Rhizome 08/10/2020 2:04 pm

Hi, Asia, I’m a sad panda.  Why is the panda sad? she says.  He is a lazy panda and he doesn’t do anything productive all day.  Oh gotcha – if it makes you feel better, I forgot to put on deodorant.  I was stinky and gross.  Thankfully, I’m usually by myself, she says.


In noise I am still sad panda (And if you want to see me cry play “Let It Be” or “Nevermind”)     In noise I grieve Christina’s absence and this nonsense comforts as peach apocalypses     I enjoy an apocalyptic syntax fuck fierce syntax fauve mauve hell

Syntax fuck fuck syntax     Syntax fuck fork fit unfocus / fixed camera aperture     Focus syntax cinch slight of height synchronized sodom soda bottle     I seer soda bottle beer the geyser   god geyser gore I grieve an apophatic Christina     (Somewhere I know syntax root truck table noise and I gram on chair leg logos)     Focus syntax pinch cinch shark sodom     Sodom boxes black box body without organs     Sodom black box bat gap last supper     Sodom soda pop fuck syntax taryn tar taryn tetragrammaton     (I transform tempos train brain Taryn Ten Thousand Things     I transfer ten thousand to ten thousand first century Roman Empire superimposed on contemporary Los Angeles)

Syntax sailboat evades Noob Saibot black iron prison (Where do these people come from?  Where do they go when the sun goes down?  Isn’t there a law or something?) (From the boudoirs of Paris to the Bordellos of Frisco – the oldest hungers drove them   ROGUES AND LOVERS)     (I love lawlessness where women worship antinomianism)     (I light holy lamp lawless and my sin redeems syntax fuck syntax strip tempos)

I where beware woman her werewolves on wheels     I where black hole black hair woman noir chariot wheels     Now noir noise curves point distance point angle / syntax tent curvature

Distracted by distant detours, I write the Book into the desert itself     Distracted into desert and by desert, dovetail distance talon taryn tempo deserts

Taryn tempo torpedo sink comic syntax

Comic syntax stew suttree (Suttree observed police as they pull a suicide victim from the river)     Comic syntax step potato search ghostbusters / Sub-creatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveller has come! Choose and perish! 

I select the syntax subcreatures as I sow surreptitious subterranean language (I repeat underground tempos / Taryn ten thousand things travels psychopomp)

Subcreatures caw subspecies surreptitious subterranean and Taryn scourges syntax sorceress (you never say anything but you keep coming back to it)

I repeat a tempo raw tempo Taryn ten thousand things / desert fire a giant ape lays on the pavement

I announce noise and I prophesy new noise cannibalisms     I prophesy noise distance desert     I announce noise hell tempo subcreature Christianities

I’m watching a video on hell land how it doesn't exist, says Asia.  It’s from God is Grey.  There is a line from that Death Cab For Cutie song that really got me: “In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule, I had my knuckles bruised by a lady in black.  And I held my tongue and she told me, son, fear is the heart of love, so I never went back.”  That's a good song, I say.  I didn’t see that love in the church, says Asia.  The church is complicated, I say.  I’m second guessing a lot of things myself.  What sort of things are you second guessing? says Asia.  My writing, my prophecy, my encounters with the divine.  What if I get on lithium and my mystical experiences disappear?  Things like that.  Your prophecy comes from your heart, not from a chemical imbalance in your head, says Asia.

Today I spoke to Ann Marie on the telephone and I spoke to her of my newfound desire to return to rewriting the bible     I’ve found a sort of peace with the absence of god, I say, a peace with the Eloi Eloi lema sabacthani, and I think I can return to the Bible without feeling the trauma of god abandoning     Distracted by distant detours, I write the Bible into the Desert itself

Beethoven Was Also A Boy Band

Sentence spy six sun Sentence seduce spy syntax fuck Spy fuck syntax sun garden of forking paths I garden sentence last supper gore (I come into my garden, my sister, my promised bride I pick my myrrh and balsam I eat my honey and honey comb)

Sentence spy six son of man meander sea Meander sea saw kingdom of the skies four fuck insects Four insects sentence apocalypse

Syntax fuck fuck syntax fragment fork fragment Syntax fuck fork fit unfocus / my clothes fit better since exercising more I expect syntax experiment exercise / I exercise improvisation fuck pale fire

Sentence seduce sun sphygnoid cosimetry blood circuit cricket syntax I expect syntax and I measure the presence and viscosity of blood Blood bless viscous sun sentence

Very good use of our conversation, says Asia. I sound completely unhinged. That was a conversation with Christina, I say. Why do I remember saying something similar? The fact that someone else was more unhinged about isopods tells me I need to up my game, she says. Did you like the blog post? I say. I did. I still think that the anarchic word quilt is hard to follow for extended periods of time but that’s just me. I like your use of repeated phrases to add cohesion, says Asia. I like your description “anarchic word quilt”, I say. I want to explore repetition more in different ways. I know that people will have their favorite writing style parts. Some people will want all the anarchic word quilts and think the conversations and metacommentary are banal and regressive while others will love the humanity of the conversations and dislike the perceived incoherence of the word quilt. Pretty much, yeah, says Asia. What works for me annoys other people and vice versa, she says.

I experiment John Coltrane both directions at once / I desire the totality of my pluralism and polystylism and even my collage of quotations (Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself I am large, I contain multitudes) I contain mixed multitudes, heresies, schisms, and heterodoxies – I embrace my plural word totality

Sentence stick stow stire store viscous blood Blood boil sentence stephanoberycifomes crucible figures ben body barabbas (Sentence simmer subtle body blood viscous vibration) (Sentence sinner simmer subtle creole language laugh lattice lattice lynx spiral shell big cat) Ray-finned sentence steady repetition: ray repetition reveals Asia rhizome Sentence ray-fine fishes fissure weather weird fishes furniture arpeggio A rare sentence strike hike ridge pigeon / pigeon jousts huntresses and hunter-gatherers god gossamer

Sentence rather than skull bones

Sentence rather repetitions rake bones bone skull sentence Sentence select repetition ride rhizome ripe (a ripe god ferments and I drink its putrid body old wine in old wineskins)

Rather than skull sentences last supper sutures Last supper serpent sentences tongue slick sutures / last supper suck serpent saturn ring sentences

(I contemplate an astrological saturn that subtlety influenced Sabbatai Sevi’s mania and melancholy, and I feel saturn’s imaginary waters swerve my melancholy too) (waters serve melancholy and mania last supper)

Last supper serpent sentences camera chasm cataracts compact cataract contact saturn rings rink ravager Polynomial ring sentences river skulls stones escahton and her ring run rupture Her rings run sun rapture rat king black death (I miss my orbitosphenoid bone but it now works hot rod bootleggers) Sentence rather suture occult bolt saturn lightning

Sentence symblepharopterygium sand gypsum god dolly limestone

Sentence squeeze trapezium cesium clock glassjaw I gently insert glass shards into my jaw a jerusalem mosaic (an abnormal joining of the eyelid to the eyebrow)

How was the new Bluey episode? I say. Very heartwarming, says Asia. Apparently a lot of Bluey fans are MAD that they gave the special a happy ending. Art equals angst and sad, don’t you know that? Happy is easy and not art - that’s why my writing is so MAD. No, says Asia. [editor’s note: spoilers for Bluey] They kept the house because Bandit decided to choose his family over the new job that would require all of them to move. It’s not about “good” or “bad” endings. It’s about centering the people in your life that you care about it. EAT IT BLUEY FANS. Why are Bluey fans mad? I say. They wanted Bandit to move? Yes, they wanted a sad ending. Make children cry, that’s how you make good TV, says Asia. I do think there's an idea that true art is angsty and depressing and sad, and happy, heartwarming stuff is not true art, I say. Lies and propaganda to sell boy band merch, says Asia. I think it’s a pretty old idea, I say. That’s why Beethoven is better and more true than Mozart, because Beethoven is EMOTIONAL and ANGSTY. Beethoven was also a boy band, says Asia. Beethoven was also a dog, I say. Dog band, says Asia. Band boy dog. Hey don’t copy my anarchic quilt writing, I say. Get your own style. No, originality is for cowards, says Asia. I’m stealing that for the Book, I say. That’s very brave of you, says Asia.

The Book means THE JOY OF LANGUAGE The Book means THE PLAY OF LANGUAGE The Book means IN THE BEGINNING WAS THE WORD The Book means LOGOS SHE LIGHTS THE LIGHTS The Book means KRYSXTRYN + ASIA RHIZOME DIVINE LANGUAGE

Sentence sea sex sound saw collage spontaneous composition Sentence sea sky stay split sex hex sound sentences (two notes constant intermittent three notes constant intermittent)

Sea sentence shit sound collage spontaneous composition / spontaneous generation (fleas arise from dust and maggots arise from flesh) Sentence span flesh sand in sequence scorpions and I sleep sick I sick sleep sentence

Sentences sediment spills secret gospels I sentence spool sediment speak sick sleep silk Silk spine sentences explode host horde flesh language (three notes constant intermittent four notes constant intermittent intermediate immediate intermediate value theorem) I stress secret syntax rolling serpent stresses Sentence sediment stress sand secret syntax

I song sentence scripture scripture soil spontaneous (spontaneous snow cloisters scarab silences)

I sleep quiet snow sequenza skeleton memory I sleep radio quiet storm skeleton kelp forest (seat Christina seaweed memory rhizome brain residue tar pit rest dust)

Two notes constant intermittent Three notes constant intermittent Four notes constant intermittent Immediate I transform tempo Taryn ten thousand things Taryn rhine rhizome rind render ten thousand ben fat cat in the hat host languages I host languages rhizomes sound snow constant I host gospel dispel body distillation and sound cloud condenses collage barrage snow tempos

Vowels voice gospel noise / snow crackles quiet quake Christianities

I sleep sentence something skews new new skull scald I don’t know if I know the Book as a word, a fragment, or a sentence / I don't know if I know the Book as a phoneme, a morpheme, or mere sound loud ten thousand things (I look for what covers Book, its essential sound-syntax-synaptic languages and the language crowd son of man loud low bomb body bow iron)

I sleep Book daily resurrections

I sleep spontaneous sentence sound cloud collage snow hostages Hostage flesh host sadomasochist Christ crucifies desert vowels Two sound constant intermittent Two or three human bodies constant intermittent

Ben adam body vowel desert intermittent intermedia I body hammer sound collage giant sequoias / I work redwood word sequoia awake

Sentence sound gas giant god / The giant gorilla lay on the pavement The giant gorilla lay on the pavement god gasoline gospel gas gospel gyroscope crucifix spinal cord (I recognize my writing approach: the limits of a remixed collision of nonsense, absurdities, and surrealism, and the pile-up polyphony nears complete incoherent without any accessible entry point Asia continually critiques the Book over its lack of accessibility and its electric speeding octopus stuffs / I spew ink to evade her criticism Asia says: You need to communicate I ask myself: how do I effectively communicate the apophatic? How do I communicate effectively – or perhaps efficiently – supernal darkness and superluminary darkness? How do I effectively – or perhaps efficiently – communicate the playful desert deconstruction and wilderness woman word? I have no immediate answers for these questions but part of writing the Book means working with my collaborators – right now, Asia Rhizome – to figure out how to write the Book The book records its own process of creation and maturation (I come to the horrifying conclusion that I must return to scripture anew – to wrestle with the Christian Bible again, and Nag Hammadi too) (I write and rewrite secret gospel and hidden god spell)

Asia requests a rhizome repetition bright red repeat cross woman Asia rainforest festers rhizome repetition real god rollick / rolling accents raw rock n’ roll

I Hope Asia Likes My Experiments

Anyway aside arena way any animations     Anyways Asia always-already alert rhizome / rhizome slash-and-burn sentences tendon rainforests     Asia among rainforests sprawl angel radial radially symmetrical      Asymmetrical radio waves rainforest rivulets ripieno

Slide any aside sort of abstract expressionism rhizome Asia

I work any language slides aside size Asia Rainforests     I work whir water after canal angels     I read the sentence alone seduction work (THE FLIMSY REPORT   Fun with Dr. Flimsy and his report on the sex life of the american female   I not only read it – I sent in 69 pages of information)     I work the sentence alone angel instruments and I sing sentence machines monster party     I skin the sentence alone alive odor olives and olives pour orange oil lovely light     I work light alone online lag limerence      I work long lag light lift shift desolation angels

Long lag limerick leed palm wine verse slag curses     Slag curves cruse queue line limping lights

Verse verse vision verse chorus verse / rudder verse repetition rubble ruins     Rubble rubber soul ruins verse forest rhizome     Visions repeat verses irregular rhythm / monster party pulses     Verse pulse peacock schema rubble / I run rubble schema schismastic erratic verses     Schismatics hack attic addict ring trains the very pulse of the machine

Sentence sleeps surreptitious sleep it appears that brief microsleep cannot be avoided     Sentences see sleep desert deprivation drip rock flat aria arid sentence     Sentence aria aether ache see long-term total sleep deprivation has caused death in lab animals     I sleep sentence surfaces make / face pulses monster party parses

Sentence submerges no soap radio sentence     Sentence immerses soap sit radio attic     Submarine sentence sway green leaf aquamarine manic vegetation     I sleep vegetable virgin verse fertility deity     Sentence see wind wheat harvest deity

I secret the sentence security through obscurity (the enemy knows the system)

I pray sentence a secret place / security through obscurity     I pray the sentence asleep desolation angels way any

I transform the sentence secret erotic explicit pornography pulses     I seduce sentence pornography secret prayer rare ar anyway rhizome     Apophatic pornography glyph material bodies glitter     apophatic graph body cloud flesh close face horrors (big men with throbbing machines, and the girls who take them on… they ripped of his mama.. so he tore chopper city apart!  ANGELS AS HARD AS THEY COME)     Angels at any I pray pornographies pack lack my flesh (my flesh flows time and flows through time) (my flesh flows flux clumsy porneia provoke kingdom)

Pornography punches lab prayer over body time cards (About this X: Preview audiences have indicated that “Female Trouble” includes scenes of extraordinary perversity.  The distributor therefore wishes to caution the potential viewer that “Female Trouble’ might be seen as sexually and morally offensive)     Porneia pulses pulse pursue sleep lab body peek     Sleep perk porneia metanoia knob sentence nous

Sentence trap hi-hat hit fuck syntax: fuck syntax panpornographic a tempo blood clot     Sentence peak blood let perverse peg god pogs

God grossflammenwerfer work flesh fire perverse     Krystal kleinflammenwerfer fuck syntax klein bottle (I kissed the bottle I should have been kissing you)     God punch polka cemetary porenia     I repurpose penis god perverse: curt pert face phallus

God Gnathobeladontinae ejaculates jackdaw love my big sphinx of quartz     My jaw juts shovel orgasm     My jaw jab gym gem work facets care dovetail shovel / I shovel human jaws from the collapses silver mine     I mine mingle wire jaw weird west periodical / weird west wet playboy     I pray and golf the languages pornographic absurd absurd

God ganglioneuroma     God geochronology     God galactosylceramide jabberwocky     God glossodyniotropism     God lags lots of guts genocide gender jump jaws 3D

I experiment and I hope Asia likes my experiments     I experiment with mostly subtle language things: shifting languages and overlapping languages quiet play     I hope to experiment big and wide too and I try to write things Asia will like     Perhaps someday I will write short story segments / vignettes with actual plot and embed them in the Book 


Conversations With Asia 08/08/2020 3:52 AM

I keep having dreams about babies and being pregnant, says Asia.  Do you want babies and to be pregnant?  Yes.  I think your dreams mean you have a desire to have babies and be pregnant.  Probably, says Asia.  It’s just annoying because we have to change our living situation before I start thinking about that.  You have a lot of time in your life still, I say.  Yeah, I guess so.  My fiance wants to travel – obviously he is going to be involved in the decision to have kids – and people keep telling me to put it off, but I feel I’ve been putting my life on hold.  I’m about to be 26, how much longer do I have to wait?  My aunt told me that I should do what my other aunt did and go traveling after getting married.  I told her, “Do you want to know what that aunt DIDN’T do?  Four years of college.”  Either way, gotta get a place of our own first.  That will be a very exciting part of your life, getting your own place, I say.  I’m so excited – I can’t wait to decorate it.  Basically thrift store finds, vibrant colors, and plants.  I will also put an obscene amount of wind chimes around the premises, says Asia.


Asia married, she owns a house, she has a lovely daughter: I feel proud of Asia for achieving her goals.  I feel proud that she has grown tremendously and she has become a strong and healthy person.  Recently we had a conversation about this when she vented to me about a conflict at her work:

It’s not hard to not result to aggression just because you get annoyed at them, says Asia.  Fucking talk to them.  COMMUNICATE.  Yeah, I say.  I mean I annoy you all the time and we are still friends – we should give classes.  I’ve never been a co-teacher before, says Asia, but even from day one I figured, “Hey I have to share the class room and work in tandem with this person so I should talk to them about what their classroom expectations are and what they were thinking their co-teacher role was so that we are on the same page and I don’t overstep” and we have had several conversations if I thought I overstepped or if I thought something might be a problem.  I have pretty good chemistry with both my co-teachers but I worked from day one to make sure I communicate with them… My co-teacher was shocked in the way he talked to me and how I stayed levelheaded.  I joked about how I’m used to dealing with my crazy mother.  It didn't even phrase me – I just made sure he heard what I said and I told him what was going to happen… Can’t wait to tell my therapist about this, says Asia.

Asia has become one of my heroes in my life and I admire her and aspire to her creative and personal transformations     I would like to write experiments Asia likes     I struggle finding balance or cohesiveness between the personal and my friendship with Asia, and my writing experiments and plagiarized-contextualized poetries     What unifies the sections and subjects is us: Ben and Asia     Ben and Asia write and read and participate in their own creation of the writing

God grossflammenwerfer wedge nerf word gak green glean wheat fire     Graffiti god gasoline galoshes fire geometries / fire female trouble trouble taryn tonic double dragon

A flammable god gesture hinge pigeon graphite fight fight fight

God gnathobelodontidae tusk tak kat rhizome     God eonta edit cusps kill god crucifixions (From then onwards Jesus began to make it clear to his disciples that he was destined to go to Jerusalem and suffer grievously at the hands of the elders and priests and scribes and to be put to death and to be raised up on the third day)

God gores train tusks concerto grosso 

God gores gown gone got fire god     God gores whores hole hordes god     God gores train tusk rush musk dead mall fall god     Tusk task Taryn thread gods jaws jaw gland gush fire

I Burn Sentences In The Witch Bonfire Of My Apartment

CW: mentions of suicide



I deliberately misuse under machine automatic compressions     Compress deliberate deliberate desert trial trial tonic-clonic machine     Misuse mass mash-up monster mash remix party     I misuse underneath nephenthe nester nance rude nude     I misuse a nude long nap     I nap now long now nude     I misuse nap anatomy tap taryn tipsy torso     Torso tuck I improvise deliberate hesitation     I top off torso with torn tape boxy remix     I top trace unsteady underneath

I deliberately misuse my equipment quiet irk deliberate     Equipment elicits forest eclipses     Explicit equipment exposes nude bird bartender (Chained to the deadliest passions!  Lashed by the wildest hungers!  HARD WOMEN are something else!  The wilder they are, the harder they fall!)     I dash hard misuse hue hush harsh distortion     I dash hand dishwasher washing machine quanta mechanics / quantum equipment quips hard punch line     I punch prototype monster party purple   purple pops black iron prison

I feel magnificently melancholy for reasons I can’t write or experience directly yet (editor’s note: it involves Christina's extended absence) and although I think my writing creatively explores interesting and novels themes for the Book (I feel a slow transformation or additional accumulation of techniques), it sloths slow and I find it difficult to find motivation and the energy to work writing for extended periods of time – thus I scribe very slowly     I read a quote from Anthony Bourdain:  “I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies.  My whole life is a series of strategies to avoid, and outwith, that guy.”  I search out a Wheezy Waiter video I remember watching released the day when the news broke that Anthony Bourdain took his own life     Craig Benzine / Wheezy Waiter said:  “I guess I’m just sad that Anthony Bourdain was unhappy… Felt it necessary to take his own life.  But while he was here, I felt like he did important work.  He did good work and it kind of makes me want to do more with the time I have…”     I try to work:  I try to develop the series of strategies to avoid and outwit that guy Anthony Bourdain mentions (I write to survive) (I write to survive without Christina – perhaps impossible)     I go back to the room and write: I grave rob suicides and discarded dead and I prophesy circumspect sermons sermon circumfessions

I deliberately misuse my equipment machine deforestation / I experiment ferngully the last rainforest     I dig deliberate dam da’at debt thread taryn (a taryn prototype surfs across bouncing shrimp harlot habitat)

This sentence should not be read by more than one person at the same time (Eric Anderson, Opus 46)

I soothsay sentence this sentence serpent     This sentence soothsay slay serpent surface her ress rest rush dress     I dress sentence sabbath rest     I rest somewhat sabbath sabbatai sevi sieve leaf transmigration of souls     Leaf leave sentence slut surface who wants to gnaw of on human bones     I gnaw sentence leaf tree of life upside down     I graph gnaw tag sentence that tertiary sentence target rolling stresses

I soothsay this sentence rolling stresses teases serpents     I serpent soothsay sentence star socket pocket rolling spiders     I sprawl spider stresses roll array stone matrix     I store matrix stone rhema rhizome videodrome (inverted dome dirk rhema / soothsays spells hells rolling repetitions)

Sentence sidewalks sentence sideways samples word: I word rolling stresses step pyramid idiolect

Sentence insists on sprung rhythm ram rhizome sleet sentence stone     I soothsay sentence roll away the stone see the glory of god     I roll away stone standing stone sentence inconsistent

I harvest sentence half-life multidirectional decay   multidirectional decay array awry rhizome rayonism     I seduce sentence through sampledelia / a sample of the pure element has never been assembled because any macroscopic specimen would immediately be vaporized by the heat of its own radioactivity)

Radioactive rhizome arrays red rare rave ridge red radioactivity

Radio rhizome rivet rabbit array robotics monster part panic attic     Attic arctic radioactive adds ray rad roar attic erratic heretic (I head hectic heretic and dig the root of Pardes to displace immense immense rhizome)

I radio slipstream slope sentence cave streams      I radio hybrid hunter-gather gut sentence serpent isotopes     I inlet isotope my head heterotopia     Inlet er light en in onto radioactive amble acid amber     I hide Amber Room in radio rabbit rhizomes

Sentence meanders meter mortar middle sentence meddle english engine

I am an exhausting person to befriend, I think.  I take up a lot of resources.  Yeah, but you’re worth it! says Christina.  Well, Asia thinks so too, I say.  I’m lucky that way.  Even if she had to cut me out of her life because I was unrelentingly toxic and destructive, she will always unconditionally care for me.  That’s what she said – recently, I mean – like the other day.  I believe her, says C.   She unconditionally loves me, I say.  She doesn't want to use that word love but that’s what it is.  Why do you believer her?  Because she has stronger boundaries than I do yet she maintains your relationship and prioritizes it regardless of her limited time and a stressful career, says C.  Yeah, you’re right – I do not give her enough credit, I say.

Relentless rhizome rivers rodeo radio unconditional     Relentless rhizome erodes cave mouth network meanders unconditional / unconditional meanders circumfessions unfinished fissions

Relentless rhizome receives unconditional revelation     Relentless rhizome receives receiver receives rose unconditional rivers revelation

Anyways I alternate always-already alternates     Anyways I alternate always-already rhizome alternate alien animations / animations array rhizome revelations     Anyways I gaze at gothic revival and my apartment receives apparitions     My apartment glues tall gargoyle topless heterotopia / topos gargoyle gore

Unconditional row ren reina rhizome   rhizome pattern recognition covert cobalt cure     Cure cut mutt matador milk miscellaneous     Anyway I word unconditional Asia Among Rhizomes

Always unconditional apartment alexander: always already Asia

I transform sound speech sound speech     I speech sound salt sock sach sack transmigration of souls steppe speech     Sounds slur smooth smooth stone bone bandit / I steal sound transformations

I speech sound south syntax fuck eye-wheel speech in sound en end slim syntax / I thin syntax     I thin syntax I slim syntax twin sound     Twin thin sound shrink sound slinky / syntax fuck     Syntax fuck fuck syntax shin slim tin twin tonic     I talk tonic acentered     I talk cyclical tonic trip tip twelve-tone tonality (I meet George Perle in a dream and he draws in air an aether hierarchy of a paradoxical pantonal pitch     I place the pitch classes in my back pocket)

I prophesy pantonal pitch and I displace pitches (I displace four-seam fastball   I derelict two-seam fastball   I dip cut fastball   I drink diopter lens split-finger fastball)     I prophesy pantonal pitch portal: tall tell tomcat syntax slick hair back blonde bitter (radioactive sentence toes radioactive blonde bitches     I burn blonde bitch Taryn at the stake     Wooden stake sentence stabs volkswagen vampires / Chris Burden transfixed)

Anyways I burn sentences in the witch bonfire of my apartment

I eat my apartment whole rope wolf BDSM angels     I rad the sentence alone all ape pour pi celestial hierarchy     I eat my apartment BDSM bridal chamber / chamber clamors stone spirals spirals katzenjammer

I read the sentence one at a time and angels alone machine masturbations     Angel alone elope