I return to the desert door     I return to the desert door independent rotating discs sour cream dollops (the only emperor is the emperor of ice cream)

I return to the desert door and Taryn drags tunnels     Taryn digs tunnels time times half a time     Taryn towers travel and travail     Taryn births bellies and beetles and she breastfeeds battlefields itself baring breasts     Breasts brutalize breasts Taryn drips tumors angelic

Taryn drips tumors angelic (wind windy wings     all eyes  all entries  all entrails)

Taryn drips tumors angelic (tower churches   tower congregations   tower kingdoms)

I return to the desert door with multiple interdependently targetable reentry vehicles and I write with the thematic subtlety of a Metal Gear Solid video game (A brief aside: my experience with Metal Gear Solid changed the way I thought about video games.  Its story and some of its more odd video game mechanics, such as Psycho Mantis’ fourth wall breaking, expanded my notion of what video games could be.  Metal Gear Solid 2 further did so, with more fourth wall breaking and metafictional themes concerning the relationship between player and in-game protagonist.  To reconsider what the Book can be – ergodic literature like House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski or the artist book Agrippa (A Book of the Dead) by William Gibson, Dennis Ashbaugh, and Kevin Bergos Jr. – more work to be done, and more work to do, and more work to be done.  Here the transformation of the Book through a transformation of the mind and body: this is alchemical and mystical work.  I fear a writing sabbatical but one might be necessary in order to work through and research different ways of conceiving what the Book is and can be.  Arvo Pärt and Sonny Rollins took sabbaticals and emerged through the other side with renewed creative vigor and creative inventions.  I want to write to discover, like John Coltrane or a creative mathematician who dreams of the deep correspondences, and I have to acknowledge the possibility of a long sabbath and prolonged meditation on (im)possibilities of the Book.)  I return to the desert door with multiple independnetly targetable reentry vehicles and door implodes iconoclasm.

This might be a dumb question, but do you still agree with this conversation I sent you earlier? I say.  I’m thinking of rewriting and reincorporating this conversation into the Book in experimental ways:  “I think art and storytelling and mythmaking are all integral to this prophetic process.  Prophecy is art and narrative is Ben and Asia.  I think I prophesy to us as well and in doing so it speaks to others in prophecy too, I say.  I think I would agree with that, says Asia.”  Yes, I still agree with that, says Asia.

I return to the desert door and the door experiments prophetic excess (door processes share human bone processes)     I return to the desert door to drag experiments through hinges, and in my pursuit of stretching the Book form, I have not prophesied the friendship of Ben and Asia through the same experimental and creative anarchy (our friendship experimentally creates and I slowly learn to express the anarchic creativity of our friendship in different and novel ways)     To experiment in the Book is to prophesy a flexible and creative and experimental friendship – even a chaotic friendship, that is a friendship from chaos, the pure potential for creation

I return to the desert door re ra ur ri ri return tur urn ray any return (I return rhizome ray solar rerun)     Rerun desert noun neon en now in     Return neon en new et runner (I make the inner outer and the male female)

Return re run body burn (beasts bodies babylon   drinking crushed Christs   consuming crucified Christinas)     Return body burn boast different music: return for you cannot your way not be sure     Return body burn take your song which drives all things out of mind with you to be the other world

Return body burn different noun now nude (the way Duchamp’s snow shovel points to his urinal)     Desert noun nude muse return red museum and archive (nude muse mast ben adam   adam agent alchemy)

I return to the desert door and my belly burns god neon.  I devour god and his guts turn sour in my stomach (beasts bodies babylon   drinking crushed Christs   consuming crucified Christinas).  I return to the desert door and door transforms into demiurge.  The door-demiurge twists tongues trap my open belly.  Door transmutes and transforms Taryn devil and diabolical.  Taryn reveals herself door demiurge trickster and traitor.  Taryn demon and daemon draws out my belly door god guts.

Return desert door noun neon en

I return to the desert door     I return rerun to the desert door     I return be kind please rewind desert door     I return rhizome memory mammary gland god hand     I return to the desert door different windows and different cathedral ceilings     Window room rhizome tone haunted tumble

Return the door remain in light     Remain in alchemical light and return alchemy burning aardvark assemblage     Alchemical assemblages return to the door anteater earth     Be kind please rewind earth: I return to earth an open door

I remain in light and lights lurk between windows and cathedral ceilings.  Lights lurk looking through the door a window and it looks at me altogether too much until my eyes transform into light and lights.  My eyes remain in light alchemical solar discs and my brain burns sun and sun.  I remain in light and the sun looks through me from the inside.  I remain in light and sun suns Sun Ra equations and I recognize space is the place.

Remain in light     Light searches earth alchemy and earth agitates ergodic emesis / vomit entropy

Rhizome remain in light rhizome

Remain in light to the light limit limit-point door-puncture     Light-point door puncture padlock punch pocket light languages     I draw light in the remain in light (I’ve attached a contact microphone to piece of charcoal and draw objects on the table in front of me confirming how I regard my musical performances as acts of paintings)     I paint light in light and light by light and I spray paint alchemical charcoal and ochre     I return to the door as a musical performance and active painting     I spray paint light with my enamel crimson body: I spray paint light in light with my aluminum cobalt blue body

Random and unrelated but god do I hate intrusive thoughts, says Asia.  They are especially bad when I’m unmedicated.  Same, I say.  Do you want to share yours and vent?  It’s usually along the lines of “You should break that,” she says.  I was hanging up decorations and holding a hammer, and I looked at the window on the door and my brain was like “You should smash it.”  The idea to paint my wall green was an intrusive thought, she says.  I support creative intrusive thoughts though, I say.  I just saw a video of Green Day performing American Idiot and got the urge to frost the tips of my hair and gel it, says Asia.  They say that you have two wolves – I don’t have two wolves.  I have a teenage boy from the 2000s with bad impulse control and an old lady, she says.

I look at the window in the doors and I smash them     (God break down the door   You won’t find the answers here)     I smash the language door repeated ben adam / adam door remain in light     I spray paint the door aluminum cobalt blue and my aluminum body alchemy modulates     Ben body modulates alchemical performance art: everything from the one everything to the one     Everything from the one and every thing to the one swaddles door / god break down this door

This door is always door and always begins more than a door.  This door reproduces and multiplies many doors.  Door doubles and triples doors.  Door doubles and triples door x door and I smash all doors.  I smash doors and doors open radically open.  I smash doors open door rhizome.  This door is always a door but also my body double and triple body, and body performs windows.  My transparent body shines light door and double light open door body perform my body real food and real drink.

I return to the desert door different rhizomes     Remain rhizome tome hone tumble     Tumble ble blay black bel bell turn tum thumb

I smash Book open door open.  I smash the Book open open door Book.  I smash Book wide open door and door bulldozer door.  I smash bulldozer door bull horns and I smash the Book horns Book shaky smash open.  I smash Book open Book.  I shake Book smash horns and the bulldozer digs smashed door distance.  The distance from my body to the Book bulldozes the game distance from my body to the door.  I smash the Book (How to smash the Book?  Burn it in the alembic and toss it to door bonfires.  I pluck the bones from the door and burn them down to charcoal.  I draw the door with bone char and I smash the Book door.)

I return to the desert door rerun and I run from the door to the door back and forth

I return to the desert door and its alchemical body modulates art     Door body modulates everything from the one and everything to the once: queer door and quartz alchemy

I return to the desert door tumble ble blay black bel bell turn towers

Tower towers     Tower towers towering Taryn     Tower trembles     Tower terrifies terminal Beast and Babylon (tower of babel beast from the earth / earth agon terminal)     Tower babel my door body (I am the beast I worship worship discontinuous random walk woman)

I return to the desert door tumbles open     Tumble Taryn turn tum Taryn tangent Taryn     Tumble tess tet thread Taryn thread Taryn aluminum cobalt body

I move too slowly and too difficult this door and tower.  What this door and tower have to do with each other remains a mystery yet I remain in light.  Door transforms but sometimes too slowly: I smash the door too slowly and I can almost see the opening.  I see the door closed and my hammer cannot smash through it.

I would like to read a blog post, says Asia.  [Don’t Open The Door, posted 02/03/2024].  “I enter the desert as a body and I enter my body as a desert shadow and streaks of light painted directly onto the sets”.  I like this line.  This post has a really good flow so far.  “My torso Tree of Life spills spiky leaves and grass that looks like knives.”  I like this line too.  “DON’T OPEN THE DOOR DESERT desert     Don’t open the door strange design desert figures flood paint walls corridor rooms DON’T OPEN THE DOOR     My body bends blue bathers the tree of life upside-down (my tree outside has twisted branches that represent tentacles.)”  I feel like you are weaving in the previous section and the new section / title nicely.  Sometimes the flow gets a little disjointed after a new section but not this time, says Asia.  Thanks, I say.  I thought you’d find this post cohesive which is why I thought you’d like it.  “No single thing but sadist Yahweh sews my body shut.”  Like this line, she says.  Also like the slow and subtle build up of body horror that follows it, says Asia.  Thanks, I say.  Those images are stolen from A Thousand Plateaus by Deleuze and Guattari but adapted to myself and God, I say.  Yeah, it was very cohesive; I liked it, says Asia.

DON’T OPEN THE DOOR DESERT: I return to the desert door     Don’t open the door but I smash open the door     Tower trembles don’t open the door

I return to the desert door difference and I divide door difference through and to towers     Taryn babyon towers     Taryn towards towers shakes door open     Taryn towers traffic tremors / tow traffic tremors who has my big toe

I trade towers and trade doors.  I trade towers top-heavy topsoil.  I trade towers trapdoor open door (God break down this door) (DON’T OPEN THE DOOR DESERT – smash it and let it disintegrate to desert and deserts).  I thread the tower through the camel of the door and the door of the desert.  I return to the desert door different remainders and the remaining god towers.