I Am So Unhappy But Christina Whispers To Me

I am so unhappy at present in my dream I am indescribably unhappy. I do not feel the writing on written and I write first downward. I write toward the girls with pink laser eyes and I do not record the vinyl record of their bodies.

These girls display themselves, caress themselves, alone or in company. Or we can guess they live in the nude, in the same room, in the same house.

I dream I am indescribably unhappy and I dream bloodied my bodies nude (Ben bodies bloody nude caress dream bodies without organs on display Undifferentiated ben bodies nude undertow)

I am so unhappy and in dreams I beam exceedingly unhappy I sleep nude the there is the there is there is the there is there the shaman death and the shaman prophet I feel different and there is Christina: Christina chapel chapel tree sap attic I feel Christina there difference – Christina charis seacharge sea nymphs (Christina there is sea and there is there is sea Christina sea nymphs exchange new model warp narcelles – narcelles accelerate amputations)

//
From the Exegesis of Philip K. Dick:
Who is the woman who whispers to me? “There’s someone else in my head and he’s not living in this century.” Another person injected into my brain – “Thomas”? But who is Thomas? One to whom the Holy Spirit came, Thomas with a single switch punch of the “needle” (Valis) the holy spirit is crossbonded to me and is here and a spatiotemporal locus injected into human history. Is the girl who whispers our daughter St. Sophia, who is her own grandparent Valis? Valis replicated in microform. Valis to Thomas to me equally Valis again (St. Sophia). Did the prophecy mean that St. Sophia would be born from me – me, impregnated by the Holy Spirit. But how? I hear her voice. She is in my head counseling me…

I return to the Exegesis of Philip K. Dick again, and I experience again the experiences and experiments of Philip K. Dick. I relieve and reexperience the Rumble in the Jungle mystery / divine annihilation / temporary theosis (I haven’t used the name Rumble in the Jungle in regards to my mystical experience in a very long time). Yes, the Woman whispers to me – Christina? Yes, Christina, but Asia too. KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome. Asia whispers to me quiet word, from the warm of the word and the stillness of the word to Elijah (And went a day’s journey into the desert, until he came to a broom tree and sat beneath it. He prayed for death: This is enough O YHVH; take my life for I am no better than my fathers. He lay down and fell asleep under the broom tree, and then an angel touched him and ordered to get up and eat… And after the fires, a sound of sheer silence. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. Then there came a voice to him that said, What are you doing here, Elijah?)

The girl who whispers to me and acts as my advocate – the girl with the pink flannel nightgown and slippers…

Christina whispers to the pink hauntologies and hermeneutics. Christina whispers to me and she displays herself in a nude quiet fire, fire in the same room at the same house.

Christina whispers to me there is the there is the shaman death and the shaman prophet.

The Woman counterpunches my spinal column, a crossbonding of Book and holy ghosts. Christina whispered pink ghosts and ghosts injected into human history and new hermeneutics.

Woman whispers St. Sophia word, the anarchic autogenes that simultaneously gives birth to the Book.
//

I am so unhappy at present that in my dream I am exceeding unhappy. I do not write but Christ Christina curls I feel different shells / elephant trunks (elephant trunk electronics elephant trunk trappist/trumpet monks elephant trunk harmolodic funk elephant trunk panic attack a light in the attic)

I do not write but Book writes me. Book continually rewrites me into mixed multitudes and nude multiplicities, and the writing caresses my body always nude in the same house the same room. I do not feel like writing and I do not feel like writing, and the Book whispers to me St. Sophia pink beams (everything contaminates everything). I do not feel like writing and I do not feel like erasing, and I do not erase eating and drinking scripture. I do not erase eating and drinking texts, and texts congeal in my intestines (intestines sketch the there is and there is stone tumble textures). There is the there is turntable textures and tortoise textures stonehenge. I write Christina enters through closed doors and I do not erase the Christ but she rewrites me. Christina rewrites me and erases me (I never get tired around her).

I am so unhappy but the girl whispers in my ear quiet fires and secret fires. Fires burn bright pink quiet and keeps the sabbath.

Peculiar Languages Stacked On Particular Languages

I articulate and anticipate a peculiar creative language / I articulate double creative languages

I articulate language parousias and it perfume rises rhizomic sea rush creative languages. I relive sea rush and sea of reeds language – languages articulate sea and see.

I articulate prophetic languages. Here I prophesy something to prophesy. I prophesy human something to prophesy language human haunt. I articulate double human haunt and human hunt (What do I search for what do I prophesy: I prophesy the process and the search and discovery. I prophesy a process. I prophesy a process: creative prose and anarchic processes possess me.). I search work and work search search prophetic sea word (processed anticipation word rush and word reed). I word a walkie-talkie language and a licking limerick language: this language lengthens lapstone laboratories. Language lengthens added laboratory corridors neverending.

I prophesy abyss and bottomless pit. I prophesy bottomless pit pit pluck pink string pattern / second superstring revolution (failure of grand unified theories including the Book). I prophesy play revealed play and concealed play plus. Languages articulate double plus pink and plus pink pink prophecy (a pair of pink pink prophecy a pair of pink shots / a plausible pair of pink shoes). I prepare the shoes and I dip them in a pink aluminum paint. I prophesy pink. I prophesy pink and pink. I prophesy pink and pink and pink.

I articulate and anticipate a peculiar creative language / I articulate double language doppelgangers

I mix and immerse double language bodies into ink intensities (languages emanate flow flows burst wineskin magma) Languages emanate matchstick marshes Moses De Leon receiving Zohar

Mix immense and dense bodies immersion (fresh water, safe campfire / dangerous drinking water)

Mix immense rhizome languages and rhizome seas (if you are sick, they’ll care for you / this is not a safe place)

I mix and immerse immense bodies: bodies phantasms poison frogs. Phantasmal poison arrow frogs flare sea radiant colors (I articulate amphibians: I anticipate ambidextrous poison flowing from left to right and right to left). Phantasmal poison arrow frogs flare double mirror phantasmagoria.

(My yellow and green dorsal surface fan lunar stripes. My yellow and green phantoms descend winding striped stepwise.)

I articulate a peculiar language and language snapcase clang

More about the D&D session, says Asia. I started unmasking and stacking things. Once I started, I couldn’t stop and it kept getting more ridiculous. We started having plumbing issues part way through the game and we are trying to solve them. What were you stacking? I say. What plumbing issues are you having? I was stacking everything I could within reach, says Asia. Oranges got invoked at one point. One of the lines is backed up and now nothing is draining correctly.

I started stacking things: I stack prophecies and languages. I prophesy ridiculous languages: stack absurd radiant poison arrow frog frog amphibian language.

I started stacking mystical language (yet stacking everything I could winner reach – orange got underfed at one point) My mysticism meets the venetian polychoral tradition spaced rhythmic strata and forms of metric modulation I sketch mystical mirrors blood on the motorway (the cello plays septuplets nearly all the time)

I stack languages playing septuplets in nearly all the time (now of the lines is backed up and now yanking is draining dismantle). The quartet represents two simultaneous creative processes through of what game. The simultaneously what of having lines plumbing one and oranges. Articulate double languages gave on and plumbing session doppelgangers. I stack the language articulate and I startled unmasking all stacking sloshly, after started couldn’t stop all. It kept getting more ridiculous

I anticipate a particular and peculiar language anticipatory a particulate and particular language

Frog And Toad Creation

Creation conducts translucent then transparent Creation circles translucent processes circle transparent processes

I process prayer clusters cluster processions and I confess chaotic prayers I process creation opaque and occult single continuing single movement concerto

Creation conducts translucent chaos cut translucent chaos (I try out the language chaotic language. I try out outer darkness languages. Try out this creation translucent and transparent processes. Try out the prolonged language proportional languages. Language looks occult large layer language occultation.)

I’m having a hard time trying to write without the intention of it being creative and later used in the Book, I say. Just dump your thoughts, says Asia. Or do a dialogue thing. Like Plato? I say. Sure, says Asia.

I create none or nothing and I write this zero and void (What’s the point of this writing? To write and to write the writing into existence. To copy Frog and Toad.) (Dear Toad I am not home. I went out. I want to be alone. Frog. Alone? said Toad. Frog has me for a friend. Why does he want to be alone? Frog, he shouted. It’s me! It’s your best friend Toad! Frog was too far away to hear. Toad took of his jacket and waved it like a flag. Frog was too far away to see. Toad shouted and waved but it was no use. If Frog wants to be alone, said the Turtle, why don’t you leave him alone? Maybe you are right, says Toad. Maybe Frog does not want to see me. Maybe he does not want to be his friend anymore. Frog! cried Toad. I am sorry for all the foolish things I do. I am sorry for all the silly things. Please be my friend again! But Toad, said Frog. I am happy. I am very happy. This morning when I woke up I felt good because the sun was shining. I felt good because I was a frog. And I felt good because I have you for a friend. I wanted to be alone. I wanted to think about how wonderful everything is.)

Asia and I are Frog and Toad. I sometimes misinterpret Asia’s intent and sometimes I communicate terribly and I think our friendship is over over nothing but the Frog Asia reassures and affirms our friendship.

Asia and I create chaos and invent a frog alphabet We create an ambidextrous alphabet frog bow bog body

Creation crows canyon chaos: creation claws cool canyon chaosmos sow glow

Creation cows comma claw how whole horde: creation cinders slender slow simmer desynchronized deconstruction

I try out and repeat language. Language repetition makes space for ritual. Language lingers in ritual space and space prayer and psalms. I pray the language creation and chaos: I pray the language amphibious and feline flexible. I try out the waters and I wade waters waver ambidextrous

I try out languages rhizome and I just dump the language in dialogues and dialectics

I try out languages drone hexagrams and hexachords (hexachord articulates artichoke cardiac arrest) I articulate peculiar languages and creative languages Sometimes I try nostalgic language and referential language (I love you all – class dismissed)

Creation processes translucence lamp transparent / language transparencies

A Vision I Received Yesterday, Part 2

Embrace your worlds, for here the Divine has no limit. This is part of my underworld…

//
[My spiritual transformation terra underneath. Underneath I conjure underneath transformation. I conjure underneath human drama desert and I chant desert underworld liturgy. I chant tent taryn tar pit transubstantiation.

My spiritual transformation pit taryn taryn the beat is in your body: taryn taryn the music you play comes from your life

(I draw from this life and I draw from this music and I sketch underneath me emergent heaven and hell)

And we draw from it redeem this scission I scissor incision schism schism social experiments palm underneath (I palm underneath front fingers finger scissor palm sorcerer) Underneath finger double underground sound mire drama drill press pocket trumpet (pocket trumpet splatters and smeared and pitched upwards)

Pocket trumpet splatters sheets of sound sampledelia and I pause underneath to gather additional sounds. I add sound underneath. I add sound sun sum underneath seethe seed of seth. I erect sound surrounded by seed of seth (seed of seth salts insects / seed sand desert dandelions seed desert delirious dandelions). Additional sound gathers underneath and underground unearths body umbra and ombre.]
//

This God beckons me beyond the boundaries of Christianity. Can Christianity limit me? He laughs. Are you too not pagan, also associated with pagans? […] Embrace your worlds!

//
[I embrace additional sound gathers underground broad blonde Taryn Taryn additional blonde cinema of the body I weave patterns / I weave patterns I knit modular form body fur brutalist I knit raw grave marquis de sade I’m sick sick sick so kiss me quick

I embrace additional blonde insects sound hinge friction faction cave bat battle / additional sound armageddon]
//

Is this God truly speaking? Or the Adversary? Yet does the Adversary stretch out its hand without God not knowing?

//
[Add adversary ambulance arithmetic Add adversary not allegory but ammunition ammunition against Add adversary adder viper abstract astronomer antagonist

I gather sound and add adversary to the sounds. I gather sound sheets of sound sounds adversary antagonist. I gather sound with and against adversaries and antagonists. I gather against sound and anarchic sound and anarchic sounds against and against many adversaries.

Aberrant apocalypse autodidactic apartment / found object abject eye Industrial object lugubrious game gamma rays / a progressive refinement of modesty that little by little has been able to reach the calf, the ankle, and the foot Adversary gathers the sound and solar rays: ray radical radix Radix radius pertaining to the root: I let the roots run from where the roots run room rhizome (Room rumbles rhizomes rhizome radix distortions and blood-water proportions)

(The God who is with us is the God who forsakes us. The God who lets us live in the world without the working hypothesis of God is the God before whom we stand continually. Before God and with God we live without God.)

Without a word and without languages I write her God among God / Asia Among Rivers strewns riverstones grave rhizomes Without God I witness a word wholly woman her wheel awake word: awake languages lights without God.]
//

Is this truly God speaking? Or the Adversary?

//
[I assemble adversaries with God / a-theist aggregates (I do not feel myself an atheist – rather I divorced God. I don’t see him anymore. He’s out there fucking other people.) Adversaries accumulate clusterfuck aesthetics or interrupted ben bodies: my bodies bramble bobblehead harsh noise (I hammer nails through my nostrils) Nascent noise black box adversary basilisk architects

I stretch out my hand the profusion of stomachs, larynges, and brains traversing innumerable animals Animal architects aggregates anarchic libraries libraries adversaries Adversaries add sound atrocity exhibit bleeding body excites (excited exhibit / exhibition anticipation) Body brawls broods broad blondes: Taryn blonde model body mathematics (mathematics model my body myth into adversarial myth. Myths multiply arithmetic: arithmetic gathers multiple adversaries and antagonistic metrics and the metrics host heretics heretic vicissitude of organs.)
//

Embrace your worlds for here the divine has no limit. This is part of my underworld…

//
[In the Red book / Liber Novis by CG Jung, he writes: no one knows what Christ endured during its three days in hell… I have experienced it

CG Jung wrote: Whoever ventures into hell becomes hell

I have become hell. My body has become a chamber and purgatory for my own soul. I fear I am becoming a terrible pagan and polytheist. I feel the singular God and YHVH sprouting and growing into multiple gods and goddesses in my soul. I feel the trinity becoming a plethora of trinities.

I fear for my Christianity. It is molting, shedding, changing into something I do not recognize. Thus this hell is especially painful because I have only recognized Christianity my entire life. My Christianity is dying and its death plants a seed into my soul; its death dies and sprouts from my ground a Tree of Life. Christianity erupts from my body a strange pagan Christianity, an Ancient of Ancients Christianities that pools Tiamat Chaos. The Ancient of Ancients Christianity allows old gods to roam free and arouse their own primordial chaoses… What a hell indeed.

I feel I’m belonging closer to a magician or theurgist now, and the apophatic Divine actively acts on me and through me. The Unknown compels me to record and write and prophesy.

In hell I recognize I am both as real and imaginary as any and all gods out there. I nurture and nurse nurse gods to health with creative prophecy and prophetic chaos.

God hallucinates gods. God imagines Benjamin but the Benjamin becomes imaginary/real and all gods… I grow the gods and I water the human. I nurture gods nest narwhals harmonics funk hits. Benjamin becomes nurse necromancer. Benjamin secretly begins the Book with creation of pagan humanity and esoteric polytheism.

I approach a Christian paganism or neoplatonic gnosticism. YHVH and Christ become my gods but henotheistically. I feel the gods and my spirits of the universe (underneath universe and universe underworld). I feel the spells and incantations underneath and umbra entirely god hell..

Paganism and polytheism extend my Christianity expansive and skyscraper ruins. This Christianity embraces all traditions and primordial histories / chaotic myths. My prophecy gives speech to the whole human experience….]
//

A Vision I Received Yesterday, Part 1

I revisit a vision I had almost five years ago. Expansions, extensions, redactions, and commentary will be offset with line breaks and brackets.

A vision I received yesterday. This spiritual transformation wants to drag me into the Greek underworld. It wants to take me to Hades to meet the dead. It wants to inject Paganism into my Christianity…

//
[I know cruel Hades I crowbar cruel crush orange crush divine comedy vernacular vulgar I’ve got my spine I’ve got my orange crush crowbar bug bandits black painting scandal / Randall Made Knives I steal where hell wobble wing or polytope wrap (it’s cool that’s what I tell ‘em in breakable heaven but ohh whoa-oh it’s a cruel summer with you)

Hades heats helium as hydrogen in cold hell how abstract Hell how abstract attacks crowbar bicycle chain hell Hell chain chrism orange crush canticle of canticles

I amend and redact underworld hall ready anarchic I amend five amens and seven amens the region of the Twins. I redact the accumulations of scripture made from the Tree of Generations with roots on either side.

I amend anarchic arctic acid bath amino acids / catchweight water music underworld mushroom meat mushroom androgynous hades

Hades harp part scapula Mount Carmel scapular punk Punk python punk soft drink cephalopods Cephalopod cyclops centrifuge Wal-Mart phantoms In this brush caught in a sort of hell

In underworld, languages disintegrate languages melt and disintegrate in persistence (atomization of the persistence of time). Underworld and otherworld transforms language – hell language Christianity and uneasy earth Christianities. I continue the language hell and underworld, the mixtures of heresies and syncreticisms]
//

This spiritual transformation wants to drag me into the Greek underworld. It wants to take me to Hades to meet the dead. It wants to inject paganism into my Christianity.

//
[Spirit speaks underneath Spirit strays underground sound hell stomp underoath Stomp strop barb underneath underbrush beetle bubble / each smallest branch plays fern root Spirit speaks underneath netherworld: Spirit speaks wild root rope rhythm rough graphs mass saddle Spirit speaks but hell now is not exterior guerrilla primary structures Primary structures slopes inclined plane syntax Syntax soak gasoline rad robot ruffian Syntax rascal soil ragamuffin

The waking of one hell where she moves offwhere her watts power odd archegrammar

Transformations archegrammar archegrammar tetragrammatons

Taryn underground comix peer precise and hell Her spirit sprechstimme stretches stretto starlings / starlings as falling stars gently steep ones only hell]
//

This spiritual transformation wants to drag me into the Greek underworld. It wants to take me to Hades, to meet the dead. It wants to inject paganism into my Christianity.

//
[Dead deliver dead drawn up dead Dead deliver dead drawn up dead decline sense dead decline / decline of western civilization hardcore punk Dead deposit dead diverse dead driver and she drives dead Desktop dead develops distant photographic developer or dung beetle diamond development monochrome

Dead a metal hot from boiling water wadi woman worship water woman wadi monochrome

Drastic elastic dead plastic doorway woman divisors earthworm (feather-to-feather added to plasma plastic) Plastic elastic dead tantric hypomanic hypodermic needle / dead needles module underneath networks (time slain the bird the bird) Dead among birds black beetles bunch butchers may lay around the bend

Dead surround me as surprise languages and psychopomp languages. The languages – these languages in Book language and Son of Man language – continually descend. Descending Languages accumulate earth and soil, language detritus and dark and organic decay. Dead surround my languages descending strewns dead syntax. My syntax summons death-and-resurrection language deities and I always descend.]
//

This spiritual transformation wants to drag me into the Greek underworld. It wants to take me to Hades to meet the dead. It wants to inject paganism into my Christianity.

This God beckons me beyond the boundaries of Christianity. Can Christianity limit me? He laughs. Are you too not a pagan, associated with pagans, and dined with pagans? Are you also not a gentile? Embrace your worlds! Christianity is one world and Paganism is another and Judaism is another. Embrace your worlds, for here the Divine has no limit. This is part of my underworld.

//
[Pagan perfect prayer patterns Pagans produce permutations and patterns play popular partitions Pagan pacific ocean open against pink shingles swing punk panorama plumbing Plumb pink plank plane plot pagans the pit Pagan water pressure plural water eucharist wafers Water feather to feather pagan flesh phosphate nitrates / pagan pomegranate promenades

Pagans perfect prayer Pagans howl hell hurry husband / be my husband I’ll be your wife I wife pagan no limit but long latte and I embrace the light I embrace the worlds: total human and total god

Book beckons me and I beckon Book transformations and transfigurations. Book beckons me Ben Adam sheets of sound and god glisses. I continue in heretic Christianity and discontinuous Christianity (heresies and apostasies).]
//

This spiritual transformation wants to drag me into the Greek underworld. It wants to take me to Hades to meet the dead. It wants to inject paganism into my Christianity.

This God beckons me beyond the boundaries of Christianity. Can Christianity limit me? He laughs. Are you also not a pagan, associated with pagans? Are you also not a gentile? Embrace your worlds! Christianity is one world and Paganism is another and Judaism is another. Embrace your worlds, for here the Divine has no limit. This is part of my underworld…

Is this truly God speaking? Or the Adversary? Yet does the Adversary stretch out its hand with God not knowing?

//
[I reach underneath underworld I reach wrench rhizome topspin underworld Topspin underworld topspin slings swings cyclops pop-punk pure industrial Reach raw oyster underworld word oxbow crossbow meander body music / body horror body magic mingles metal meanders

Reach slow flow heat river meander underneath nimble mixed body oxbow

Underneath neat whiskey underground riddle sizzle sunflower sower (I sow underneath undergarment Van Gogh’s Sower With Setting Sun) (I couldn’t care less what the colours are in reality… I am still enchanted by swatches of the past, have a hankering after the eternal of which the sower and the sheaf of corn are symbols)

Upper underneath and unusual underneath under

Upper underneath beats mess messy underneath Underneath umbra the completely dark central central portion of the shadow cast by the earth or moon arclength eclipse (anarchic eclipse arrow pyramids) Eclipse narrows pyramids pyromania warp narcelles / underpart through stemmed uncertain

This is part of my underworld and I speech underworld This part underworld walk wyrd fate fucks feather to feather added Added root margin machine machine Embrace your worlds: this is part of my underworld underworld parts my body bosom bodice corsets stations of the cross

Stations of the cross dress my body androgynous collage Dress my body undress unrest rob rhizome: rock armed robbery Dress flesh photomontage / ikon underworld (My underworld dreams ikon come sunday. My underworld dreams dark cross and dark station and dark dress. Underworld swears word to my body itself simultaneous world and underworld.) My underworld dreams ikon come sunday stratocaster sabbath / underworld ikon iron chef I travel to the underworld ikon and iron, and I cook with the Prince of Sichuan cooking (I read Iron Chef Chen Kenichi passed away in 2023 from interstitial lung disease at the age of 67 – I have fond memories of watching Iron Chef and the American successor Iron Chef America. I continue to cook and prophesy and travel underworld…)

I anticipate my own death / I paint what occurs to me and that is all I paint underneath flesh: bone fungus fat mushroom raw jam camera Camera join joint bone court jester jaw jam / underneath flesh I paint more flesh underground Flesh I paint underneath grown joint juniper god

Embrace your worlds I embrace eclectic earth: I embrace unsorted eccentric earth (unsorted earth emanates disintegrated desert desert body without organs embrace base body volley valley lakeside horse ride)

Embrace eccentric and eclectic ellipsis intertextual merry melodies the maternal hymn that creates me (I embrace cartoon. I embrace cartoons and I animate cartoon figures. I embrace figuration. Looney tunes loop in my head operatic and I animate eclecticism and anthropomorphic animals – rabbits, ducks, platypus.) I explain engines for perpetual motion motion the drama is the mist mist must hymn hum human hell: hell human mystery (embrace human and embrace mystery)

Book mystery where buried: where buried underneath drama is the mystery of the following equation (equation double desert identity double indemnity (not a film noir but flesh mystery and flesh supernal darkness Flesh enmeshed mystery matrix maximum carnage)

Embrace equation and embrace equation underneath: if this is this this is this If that is this that is this then this: human flesh flex matrix mystery Underneath human drama desert liturgy: tent taryn tar pit transubstantiation Taryn Taryn the beat is in your body: Taryn Taryn the music you play comes from your life

I Prophesy Transparent Creative Processes

I prophesy creative processes translucent then transparent     I prophesy creative processes translucent transitioning transparent

I prophesy creative processes opaque and occult continuous single movement     I try out the language     I taste and touch the language peculiar / pungent word word     (pungent work word funk grammar   pungent word taste paper grammar)

I taste paper (taste paper plum palimpsest plane place blood-point into panels).  I taste paper pupa moth paprika.  Paprika smokes prophecy upward.  Prophecy pours paprika and it transforms red miraculous purple prophecy.  Purple prophecy pipes purple prose.

I prophesy paper and I prophesy plain paper powered into codexes.  I prophesy codex powdered snow and I swim snow soul insect shadows.  I’m not always aware of shadows but share them with the funk and soul insects.  Paper accents funk hits stone insects and their wings scratch paper into codex (codex of ciphers and enciphered codex).  I taste the paper prophetic beach language (translucent night and day language traced transparent night languages).  I taste the paper prepared creative processes and I try out the language.  I try out language and I eat the paper.  I prophesy the paper with different pronunciations.

I Weave My Own Fabric

Deep in my dark the dream shines Deep sleep soap serpent surface flows face flat dark

Deep in my dark the dream shines darlings Darkling darkly sound sleep or surface sleep / swim snow I swim snow slow slow snow sideways remind word (rewind remind rubble remainder doll chopping mall)

Deep in my dark this dreaming and the very dreaming of dreaming, and in this dream drone double, I recognize Asia and her partner, and we hang out and have discourses on art and food. I dream this enchanting dream drifted sorcerer / sorceress dark and the dream divulged the source of dark. Dark drones the prophetic dream and the revelatory dream, and the dream demands chaos. Dream drives Pando Chaos and Bird Lives / Kindred Lives Chaos, and out of the chaosmos, the primal prophecy out of dark. I swim in dark slow snow.

Deep in my dark the dream shines rubble rewind Shine circular ruins shining circular saw chopping mall (chop chop kick punch it’s all in the mind if you wanna test me I’m sure you’ll find the things I’ll teach ya is sure to beat ya nevertheless you’ll get a lesson from teacher) Deep in the dark shines kick punch chop crop chisel full field flow

(The animated version of Charlotte’s Web vibrates in my brain as shining darkness: now is the hour when frogs and thrushes praise the world from the woods and rushes sleep my love sleep my only deep in the dark… I sleep in this dark where spiders speak to me and our words weave shining dark. I sing the dark from within the dark and dark shimmers lovely and lyrical silvery miracle Charlotte’s Web. I swim through slow the snow of her webs – Asia Among Rivers and Asia Spinning Spiders.)

I have this absurd but stubborn idea that one day I’ll weave my own fabric and sew that fragment into a garment, says Asia. It’s not absurd and you should keep it stubborn, I say. I believe in you and I think you’ll do it. I’m going to save that you said it and I’m going to help you do it and we will do it step by step… I guess I suddenly become manic ben when you bring up projects you want to do.

Absurd dark and stubborn dark shines dreaming absurd

Deep in my dark the dream shines sap shark gap gash alligator gar garland / there’s a snake a shadow darker (Absurd dark creeps stubborn shadows and shadows stain garments) I skewer more serious shade or psalm suntale (stubborn manic into the fabric absurd manic fully fabric)

//
What do I do: this doing, this activity, this possession – process. Process possess me pisces iscariot and gospel of judas. What do I do: this desert doing and absurd ben hinnom barbarians (diabolos diablo demiurge desert). What discus do I distance function. Function friction drags stubborn frictives vowels versions delirious. What I do: drink district red light district…

What this hat here write this sleeve sieve (absurd sleeves and stubborn sleeves). This writes sleeve sieve swear words – swear that this language eyelashes. I worship at the eyes and between eyes. I worship between eyes books looks her he him here. Here I experience the scorpion of these intensities.

I trade air raid sirens her fleet hot air balloons (This kind of name change not only wastes time but causes unnecessary paperwork. I change the names of all these chairs and coaches.). I trade air intensities imagine from disintegrations. Disintegration ragtime dances stubborn salmon waterfalls. Disintegration ragtime riverrun salmon chaos or cusp. Shirt sleeve soft mothlight (Asia weaves scorpion garments and salmon fabrics).

I light lefthand intensities. I siren a simplicity of destruction and deconstruction: I siren desert demiurge urgent urgent emergency.

This is it. This is enter the exist door. This door, this deciduous tree door, drains a big lake motherfucker. Door crystals lake lurks tetrachord construction. Tetrachords stack constant crustaceans / fiddler crab cool rome burning.

I feel absurd weird fuck funk and funk stubborn stabs outwards holy of holies

I feeler fucked flood and I play chicken with oblivion

What do I do: absurd activities stubborn processes weaving actions
//

Deep in the dark shines I swim soul insect shadow back and forth flask backgammon Swim beach shade shore language large game pottery glaze (Swim this what language and stubborn language: languages crosstalk pottery glaze gas mask)

Deep in the dark shines primordial language (heap of language: globular eye flash flank sank pork shoulder celluloid scissors) Deep in the dark shines heap of language and I size scissors shadowwalk and shadowwork I walk deep shadow shines long bone fruit bat tarot

I continue in deep languages language longer bone hanging: I continue deep sea shark collection get caught up in lavish laboratories

I walk deep and deep in the dark and in some sense this language saves me This language offers psalms and hymns and there is a balm in gilead

I walk this stubborn language which drags coherent grammar into the apophatic dark (single letter aleph and single word in the beginning, and either arouse shimmering dark and shining dark)

What Next

What next. What here what next: next valley, next burden, next vision.

What next: text textures intertextual (I am cringe and I use song lyrics and song titles all the time. I am a tissue of texts and a quilt of quotations. […] I wrote it in my Book once so that’s how I remember it. I lamented to Asia that all I could think of is quotes. She said: “Yeah, we are all made of scraps. That doesn’t mean you aren’t real. It shows that you are a part of things and that you have been altered by something outside yourself.” Asia is a wise woman and now I embrace my intertextuality and I participate fully in text-making and transforming-texts.) What next: participating in text-making and text-transforming

What next knots myth in myth Myth mediums myth marginal myth museums Next: myth as methods (methods philosophies moment-of-symmetries)

Myth begins literature and ends literature NIGHTS into dreams (My dreams drag light Taryn seer seeing Dreams devil deer Taryn and her devil anvils deer-tiger Tiger Tiger destroys me but I am the tiger I am the tiger her very melody opens into violence / upward woman universe) Myth begins literature next to deer and tiger and I am the text / I am the tiger

I am the myth tiger what next

What next I am the myth and as I walked upon the Mount of Olives, I saw the magnificent vision. The book icebergs bradykinetic and bradykinetic killing field and killing vector enfleshes vision. The direction of the Book what next finds my flesh in the form of frankincense (my text body transforms my visceral and gory Book: my text body splits into werewolf Books). Book narrates nativity a null numerology, and I witness the numbers and stars in space. Christina throws spear-comets in prime numbers and stacking interval cycles. Christina throws what next varying number vibrations plot visions in void.

What next transforms texts and Book numbers generations, Adam from blood and dust, and his seed Seth soothsays serpents. Seth seen sees serpent the salvation, and the Seth Son of Human oracles Sabbatai Sevi to Saturn (New Jerusalem forever remains a golden-red transparent antimony glass, like stone).

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What next What here what next simultaneous text visions

The quartet represents two simultaneous creative processes. In performance, the musicians appear to be first trying out and rehearsing musical ideas (in the introduction and interludes) and then playing them (in the even-numbered movements). At the same time, the sketches show that this mirrors the composer’s compositional process as he marked out small sections, not writing linearly from beginning to end, but by assembling small phrases together and polishing them.

What next: I slowly approach that asymptote where the creative process and the creative result are one and the same. I cannot generate the creative process of writing the Book from the Book itself, although the two mirror almost-identical. The Book resembles more the accumulation and aggregation of creative processes (Is this true for every creative work? It seems so in this moment). What next: increasingly in simultaneous and small fragments crafted, rehearsed, assembled.

What next: myth begins simultaneous process and myth pursues transparent performance

Myth begins next myth and myth process clearing Myth begins and reveals circular myth and spiraling myth

What next: I always prophesy myth Simultaneous myth what next here what simultaneous visions
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Is it weird to feel depressed that people like my art a lot better than my writing? I say. The art is a lot easier to take in than the writing, says Asia. Your writing takes work. It’s not a bad thing, it just what it is. You art is going to appeal to a broader audience, but the audience your writing appeals to is pickier. What do you mean the audience for my writing is pickier? I say. They like a very particular thing – they aren’t going to read just anything – they want a challenge, says Asia. I might be hurting my writing by doing art when I should be focusing on promoting my writing and getting it out there. I am called to prophesy, not to make pretty pictures. If I’m hurting my prophecy, then I have to rethink what I do. Why would that be hurting your prophecy? says Asia. Because people are focusing on my art instead of my writing. It’s becoming a distraction to what I really want people to focus on. That’s a pretty dumb take, says Asia. So art is pointless? Art can’t communicate or reach people? she says. It does communicate and reach people, but let the artists do that. I am not supposed to be an artist. Says who? says Asia. Why can’t you be creative and prophesy in multiple ways? I am trying to say I put a lot of effort into my writing and not effort into my art, yet people like my art and not my writing. I understand what you’re saying, says Asia. What I was trying to say is that you aren’t going to get the same response from your writing because of the nature of your writing. That’s not a bad thing – you are going to reach different people with your writing, says Asia.

What next: two simultaneous creative processes What next how text: create and prophesy multiple ways

I make that in your writing I make in your writing an art when distressed to reach people art

I rehearse the musical ideas here next and next prophesy their performance in pictures

Next valley, next burden, new vision: New Jerusalem forever remaining a golden-red transparent antimony, like stone. Antimony antitheses configure the negated vision, and Christina embraces contrails. Christina prophesies New Jerusalem vision and her vision vaunt vaults red-golden beer blonde. I drink vault transparent blonde: Taryn and topaz (the red rabbit riverrun ramble ram bull steppe on stone)

Numbers proliferate in golden polygons, the recurring rectangle door den to the dungeon. Christina calls the city with every foundation a different number and narrative. Christina compiles marvelous myth and magnificent myth nothing mirror and number

What next I make it weird saying text next saying by the distraction to be an artist (Should I wake it weird to reach differently)

My Life Consists of Myths

Myth begins literature and ends literature. Myth begins literature and Taryn as tiger destroys me drunken myth. Taryn tiger destroys me deer myth but I am the tiger. Her very welcoming opens me into violence.

Myth begins ends Taryn Tiger and she drinks me destroyed myth. Tiger her tiger destroys me seer deer desert but I am the desert. Her very welcoming opens upward human universe.

Myth begins Book happens

Here, Book as happening and happenings. Here Book wheel wheel multidirectional happenings – three-dimensional and four-dimensional happenings (This journal juxtaposes the episodic and the happening and this discontinuity does not exist as actual discontinuity but only as more remote continuities). All will be participants: The Book participates in her myth and myth interpretation and the happening holds to the longbow any reader. The Book exists and doesn’t exist between readings.

There will now be a single spectator but all will be participants – I participate in the work gargoyle Participate circus grotesque (my bloodsucker head achieves trinitarian union in the shared sprouting vegetation of the disgorging head and foliage head)

Myth begins beguile bottles: beguile bottle faerie bottles
(a fair field full of folk folk of all manner of working and wandering)
Myth begins a fair field full of forks frame fuck unframed
Fair field full fiend fork fire / fire full half full skull halves

Myth begins beguile bottles: beguile bottles faerie bottles a link to the past I link myth and music to a reinvented past and I reinterpret tradition into new religion (my new religion is two thousand years old) Myth begins witching bottles beguile gods and my hair witches wicks witches wick black cat whiskers word fire wyrd Word fire fires word and I myth fire fires I myth machine flagrant fires first fires

I sometimes fear the field because this field absorbs the spillings and blood of Judas Iscariot. My body too spills out over the field and my blood – her bloods and guts – scream out from the field. I fear the field because it contains my blood carried by fay folk. The fair field full of fay folk descends in full force upon my body. My bodies balance the field fulcrum. I fear the field but Elohim drive me out of the garden to the works of the field.

Myth begins fair field full fiend

I’m reading Stone Blind first, says Asia. It’s supposed to be a retelling of the Medusa story and of course, since it’s a recreation of Greek myths, two people have been raped so far. I’m 64 pages in… I’m enjoying it so far but I can already see how they are trying to frame things and I’m wondering if it’s going to fall on its face later. Some things I like so far (because the bar is on the floor) none of the rape scenes are told in detail and they are not told in a romantic light about it and it does a lot to empathize their fear and lack of control in the situation, she says. I probably wouldn’t like it, I say. You can tell me all about it though. They make Medusa’s sisters very kind and loving but also monsters with sharp claws and tusks, says Asia. It was kinda funny because Medusa just gets dropped off near this shore, and they are just like “the fuck is this?” But they learn and they start tending sheep and learning to make bread just to take care of her. Knowing that she was mortal and fragile caused them to feel fear for the first time, and they learned to love their weird squishy sister. The squishy sisters should be a band name, I say. Only one of them is squishy, says Asia. So maybe “The Gorgons and the Squishy Sister.” Medusa is going to die in the end I’m guessing if it’s going by the myth, no? I say. I don’t know, she says. It’s a “retelling” so who knows. Angela Carter wrote a book in the 1980s called The Bloody Chamber which retold various fairy tales from new perspectives and retellings, I say. I think I’ve heard of this before, says Asia. I think one of my English professors pulled a story from that anthology for us to read. It was a short story about a woman who unknowingly married a werewolf and he left on their wedding night. So she married someone else and years later when she’s miserable with a bunch of kids, he returns and is mad that she married someone else. He turns into a werewolf and kills her, she says. That story was adapted as part of the movie Company of Wolves, I say. Yeah, he showed us the film, says Asia. This was years ago. It was disturbing. I just recommended it to my friend, I say. I told her it was a dark fantasy with some horror elements. I really like that film. I would be curious to know what you found disturbing about it, I say. The transformation itself is visceral and gory, the woman’s fate is pointless and dreary with a violent gory end. Men are scary enough without them slitting apart to turn into wolves, says Asia.

Myth begins literature and ends literature and I retell the myth many multidirectional I retell myth and recreate myth knowing none of wolves
Knowing none of wolves, he left on their fear and gore

Myth begins beguile bottles and bottle bodies. I fit my body into the bottle fay folk (fair field pressures skull halves and my heart pulses slow erosion). Myth begins erosion motion magic meteors.

Myth begins left on the fear and gore Myth gore heat death of the universe (I retell gore gorgons squish my internal organs. I retell gore the shore and my wedding night.)

I only tell stories. I only tell and retell stories among stories multitudes. I tell and retell the ritual of stories. I remember and reminisce in desert stories multidirectional (I was watching Adventure Time, says Asia, and there is a worm named Shelby who got chopped so the piece of Shelby turned into another worm and one of the main characters was like “Whoa, I thought that was a myth” and Shelby was like “My life consists of myths.”). My life consists of myths and I live with my myth of gore. I live bloody chamber and my heart pulses slow erosion. I myth heat death of the universe.

My myth begins and begins myth begins begins ben bodies and bodies Son of Man Son of Man myth Human One machine (Human machine the very pulse of the machine very pulse of the machine bone machine)

Myth begins also monsters with sharp claws

Myth begins and I learn to love Asia, my weird squishy sister

Myth begins Son of Man bone machine measurable mackerels

Work Through The Line More Liquid

Work through the line more liquid

Work through the line more liquid lush lounge lizards / nonlinear standing in the middle of four tornadoes all swirling around

Work through the line more liquid (I write creative processes translucent to transparent. I write creative processes opaque and occulting continuous single movement concertos. I try out the language. I taste and touch peculiar language – flexible and open language pouring out pungent word. Pungent word wheels liquid. Liquid wheels word funk grammar and word and words share a liquid in continuous single movement.) Work through the line more liquid: line work ensemble assembly swing ferrous phantom bodies Phantom bodies cat slack liquid striker long line

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Work liquid line liquid: legato musical line Christina melodies

I paint an imaginary scene of Christina and I as children. We jump rope in the rain and sing: it’s raining it’s pouring, the old man is snoring, he went to bed and bumped his head and didn’t get up in the morning… I pair a polyphony hooked on phonics fix-unfix mythemes (parabolic parable curves catenary cataracts or conic section abysses).

Work liquid Christina melodies and legato Christina musics (A realization the quantity of writing is as joyous an activity to engage in as making a quality of writing. My joy amplifies in the slow cutting intersections of graphomania and continuous copying-editing.)

I construct a joyous and long-suffering written music: Christina symphonies and concertos circulating all the more liquid

Liquid lines. What now – what next. Liquid lines. Elliott Carter’s opera What Next. What Next: liquid motion movement circulations liquid. What next: explorations and experiments. I experiment laboratory mysticism and mystical happening. Total work – complete work. I read Scriabin’s conception of the Mysterium and it reminds me of Charles Ives’ Universe Symphony (I write and rewrite many Universe Symphonies). (Scriabin writes: There will not be a single spectator. All will be participants. The work requires special people, special artists and a completely new culture. The cast of performers includes an orchestra, a large mixed choir, an instrument with visual effects, dancers, a procession, incense, and rhythmic textural articulation. The cathedral in which it will take place will not be of one single type of stone but will continually change with the atmosphere and motion of the Mysterium. This will be done with the aid of mists and lights, which will modify the architectural contours.)

What now: universes. Liquid sound universes sing mixed choir Christinas. What next: all will be participants and we work through the line more liquid. We work liquid line, liquid colors, liquid cathedrals. Stones nest into the flurry of fauvist colors and Book provides rhythmic textural articulation. Articulate what now and what next: Christina procession and Christina textual articulations. What now: multistone cathedral and liquid cathedral and Christina cathedrals. I participate all participants and atmospheres condensed liquid.

Work liquid line liquid: legato musical line Christina melodies
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Work through the line more liquid – all participants

I participate long line longer white light white heat harmolodics: I hip haunter harmolodics god gengar Longer line loop stereo prefrontal lobes lopsided p-funk P-funk frequent line experiment white lines don’t do them P-funk defunct fuck phrase transition trade blows fur faces

Work through line liquid big funk fuck

I am super smart well-rounded gigachad, says Asia. JK I’m a big nerd and probably a high masking autistic, she says. What does that say about me, having conversations with you? I say. You’re like “Can aesthetics be objectively good?”, says Asia, and I’m like “Please define what you mean by aesthetics, objective, and good, and I’ll break it down. I’m like aesthetics is mystical chaotic abyss we participate in, I say. I don’t think you fundamentally approach topics different than me. I feel we both carefully consider them and explain our positions and then examine our arguments. I think we feel deeply about things similarly even if we take slightly different approaches. That’s fair, says Asia.

I participate long line longer line liquid. All participate in the mystical chaotic abyss.