Inflorescence Skull Inside Inflorescence

Inflorescence

Inflorescence skull inside inflorescence (how much the flowering occurs)

Inflorescence infer inflorescence interpret inflorescence (my skull flowers void void vivid blossoms)     I prophesy this flowering interpretation: I oracle void hermeneutics

Or arrow slopes     Or arrows oracle slopes     Or arrows slopes slaloms avalanche     Avalanche abominable snowman (snowman hand of glory dead hand hosts mosquito)

Or arrows inflorescence root of all flowers hermeneutics     Particular intestines skull paradox or arrows anarchic slope inflorescence (I bloom a new Book hermeneutics)


//
I struggle with the large scale and long duration.  I struggle duration long duration.  Durations scale struggle length length duration.  Not form but scale.  Field scale and expanse scale.  Tensors.  Listen to more John Cage – more Morton Feldman – the long composition.  Study the long composition and the long Book (this longer Book this longer composition).

The large scale – my struggle with the long scale (Why long scale and long duration?  Because I have too much material and I need to use more material and I need to use more material.  Why not many short pieces instead of the long duration?  Because I believe broad connections and intersections and overlaps are the most apparent in the long piece.  I also have an obsession with the large work – the operatic work and the total work.  I work total work and large work and long work.)
//


Inflorescence skull inside inflorescence (how much the flowering occurs – how much the slope arrows occur – how much the long scale skull lingers)     Inflorescence inflows indoors inflorescence     Inflow influence indoors ingots inflorescence     Inflorescence intelligence idea inflows inflorescence idols – idol long icon duration use island skull isle     My skull flowers void void void vivid blossoms     My skull blossoms void hermeneutic and hermeneutical inflorescences

Flower flower and flower the inflowing skull flowers.  Flower.  Flower and flower the inflorescencing of my skull.  Flowerless flowers float up upward through the abandon of my skull.  My skull abandons its own skull but it lengthens the skull flowering.  Skull floats floorless above underground and without ground.  Skull blossoms body garden.  Skull gathers flowering gardens with lightning inflorescences.

I have a love/hate relationship with the word divine because it suggests something otherworldly but to me, a divine experience is when you make a connection with the world around you, says Asia.  When that lonely being in your head realizes that there is more than what is inside your skull and you aren’t actually alone… I don’t want to say that humans are divine because that implies that we are set apart like other things aren’t divine, says Asia.


//
I play the radio widening static.  I play the radio lengthening static.  Static structures structureless skull and there is more than what is inside my skull (Static habit lithographic lumbar graphomania     Surreal static / static Silent Hill 2)

(Here were four composers who were getting rid of the glue     Where other people had found the necessity to stick sounds together to make a continuity, we four felt the opposite necessity – to get rid of the glue so that sound would be themselves)

Am I trying to get rid of the glue?  Or am I filling all the spaces with glue?  Restoring space in an obsessive referential mania (In these more rare cases, the patient imagines that everything happening around him is a veiled reference to his personality and existence […] Everything is a cipher and everything is the theme).  The image scale and duration gets rid of the glue or obsesses with micropolyphonic connection.  I obsess micropolyphony – fractal connection networks – connective tissue fabric – turkish rugs.

Necessity to stick sounds together to make a continuity – to get rid of the glue so that sounds world be themselves…
Sentences by themselves?  Paragraphs by themselves?  Letters and phonemes by themselves?

The alphabet endures in long sounds and long silences
//


Skull inside inflorescences apart like other creatures aren’t actually alone     My skull flowers I don’t want to say than what the world around skull flowers a divine because that humans are divine divine void void blossoms

I prophesy interpretation: interpretation allwhens that we are bad apart like after creatures aren’t monody (like after scolds aren’t monody)

Inflorescences or arrows slope / inflorescences room for all     Room for all kind connection more than things and room for all of white that humans aren’t and room for all suggests the what are divine     Particles intestine something world is divine or particulates intestine have but when skull implies or particle intestines a to that and that

(I have never drawn, even as a child, either puppets or silhouettes, but rather facades of houses and gates. One of my favorite games consisted of organizing towns.  Ignorant in architecture, I constructed building street crammed with little figures.  I invented stories for them.  These childhood happenings were like little films.)

Or arrow ordinary     Rare earth ore     (I’m a weary diver’s helmet.  The throbbing of my brain splits into many bubbles on the lacquered platform of my seventh ceiling.)

I sleep divine because that means aren’t actually lonely.  I’m wearing a silver’s elastic divine because it king of suggests somethings aren’t actually the throbbing of my other word divine suggest.  Bubbles split on the lacquered platform of my other word that lone like other word.  My seventh ceiling your human divine have apart.

I construct buildings and streets without glue     Without glue I construct the large scale and duration


//
I continue to struggle with the long form and long duration.  I can write 4 or 5 pages at the most.  I worry sustained style or theme a sustained boredom.  Yet my favorite long form works are often sustained exploration on a small amount of materials – String Quartet no. 2 by Morton Feldman – Einstein on the Beach by Philip Glass – The Well-Tuned Piano by La Monte Young – I have to keep working at this long duration.  Perhaps use a small amount of materials or trust the refrains and repetitions / recurring fragments to sustain the long piece successfully

Have more trust in my writing and writing processes.  Trust in the transformations and repetitions and their tensions.  Tension and repetition – repetition tensors.  Forces inflow inflorescent repetitions – feelers repeat feelers.  Trust fixed – unfixed – fixing writing slowly 

Explore the sustained boredom (I will not make any more boring art).  Make more boring art – sustained sound long word – pedal tone tonic-clonic turkish rugs.
//


I prophesy long skull and long insect interpretations     I prophesy my skull large scale void void vivid blossoms

We all have the capacity to be monsters, says Asia, and we all have the capacity for compassion and kindness and sometimes we feel like both.  But what are we going to do?  Live afraid of the monsters in our own skull?  Hell no.  Are we just going to let those monsters terrorize us and the people we love?  Absolutely the fuck not, says Asia.

Or arrows slope inflorescence     (Or arrows are we going to be monsters in our own skulls)     Or arrow slender rope arrows / slender serpentine florescence bloom hell no or arrows slender rope arrows or arrows almonds tine weevils     (I gaze at a weevil on my bathroom wall     I study the weevil wall capacity we skulls)

Or weevil sustains inflorescent hermeneutics     Or weevil extends skull be sometimes afraid to fuck monsters     (I feel like monsters monsters all both)     Weevil no bellow but barroom: root for all skull blossoms     Or arrows weevil wildstyle or

Or or arrow florescence: or or blossoms skull arrow numerous arrows     Or skull arrow numerous arrows     Or in our own skulls     Or hell no are we feel like both or     Or how often much the flowering occurs     How much the flowering occurs weevil on weevil monster woman     Weevil but what are we just going to be monsters in our own skulls

I prophesy or and or hermeneutics and or no hermeneutics prophesy     I prophesy hell no just going to be monsters in our own skull

I prophesy large scale and long duration: skull time and skull often blossoms occur or weevils     Skull inflorescence skull inside inflorescence (how much the flowering occurs: how much this duration endures without glue)

Begin to Write Rope Writing

Begin to write

Begin to write rope writing

Begin to write logos: log in logos and logos elektra elements electric

Begin beginning beginning logos lamppost lips loops lipid logos and begin behind beyond begin begin

Begin again aged against again begin. Behind blue belt belly barometric bat ban root begin. Begin run ran ram runoff rumor tutor. Begin again written and written begin and written against and shadow wrote rope crews doorway coast. Rope behind begin bayou big bog good hot hog. Begin aged stiffen artificial bacon brain beacon on what wrote like a chair. Chair write wow good with your position.

(I begin to write. When I enter a special state of grace, music is born in me. And when that time comes, I record it. If that time doesn’t come, I destroy it.)

I begin to write and I gradually learn to write effectively, and with great play and power. Without gods, I do not destroy but play rebirth and the image of rebirth. I begin writing rebirth with varying and various assemblages. I play without gods and the state of grace surrounds me in the women of my life.

Begin to write rope writing

Begin wine write quote wrote word wore (the band stops playing but we keep dancing the world keeps turning the world keeps turning on his hands he wore the ring of another the world keeps turning the world keeps turning)

Begin begging beginning logos lamppost lips loops lipid logos and begin behind beyond behind begin (Without warning it comes… Crashing through the window of your study, and mine… I have seen it before… Somewhere… It frightened me… As a boy… Frightened me… Yes father. I shall become a bat.)

//
Begin. Begin and I shall become a bat.

I shall become a bat and I decide dark. I decide dark and I drive dark be quiet and drive. I determine dark and I dedicate myself to dark. I dedicate myself to becoming bat and bat drives dark (bat dedicates dark be quit and drive). Let darkness and the shadow of darkness stain it: dark stained glass glass gram stain sterling silver.

I shall become a bat. Let darkness and the shadow of dark stain the day. Bats swoop through stained glass windows. Stained dark lets the shadow of the dark double shadow of death duple meter dark. Polymeter dark doubles beginning and beginning: polymeter dark doubles and triple overriding dark and dark begins I shall become a bat. Overwhelming dark doubles downward and I descend to bat beginning and begin write echolocation. Dark divines downward and towards begin word (rope wire write quote wrote word wore).

Begin I shall become a bat and bat descends to her rope wire word
//

I begin with her and her she: she she wild wolf wolf spider wolf eel awake and the wake awake write rope

Most of those aren’t house spiders, says Asia. House spiders evolved and adapted to live inside and don’t do well outside. Weavers, wolf spiders, joro spiders, jumping spiders, and grass spiders will sometimes find themselves inside, but they don’t stay inside full-time. I love cellar spiders, gangly bois, says Asia.

I begin with her and she she she wild wolf spider wolf wolf spider eel awake and wake awake outdoor and wake awake don’t do well outside

I begin with her she give wild wolf spider (I have a feeling you’re about to ruin my life. I like that.)

Begin. Begin or weavers, gangly bois times find themselves inside. Or weavers, gangly bruisers – joro spiders and adapted to live inside but don’t stay inside. Begin but do well outside but don’t do well outside and grass spiders evolves and grass spiders. Wolf spiders – gangly bois – but do well outside and adapted to live inside but don’t. Begin or weavers and weave her words entirely wolf spider.

I bending begin work worth worm worm hey hey her Her threw three the north her / north birth begin and behind Ben north belong amid among write sown written (I bend down the door door frog word to her her) Folk music begin her Her get small intestines magic stone tone work word as sprung writing

//
I shall become a bat and on wolf spider

I winter death I winter dark winter music Dark decides downward double nickels on the dime (I divide dimes dark clothed dark)

Let darkness and the shadow of death stain and darkness stains horde spiders evolves and another to side accuse and don’t do well yardage on Let the shadow of death full and will live so I themselves gangly and weavers

Let darkness and the shadow of death stain / death stains big stars (Voice spiders evolves and awarded to race inside and don’t do well outside or. Heaving, wolf spiders, life spiders, jumping spiders, and grass spiders well sometimes find trafficked inside.) Death stains not waving but drowning (I was much too far out all my life and not waving but drowning)

I shall become a bat but wolf spiders devour it
//

I bending begin work worm her bending logos I bending begin work work wolf her I bending begin gore her wall walk wolf spiders (None of these house spiders but inside bends bending logos)

Begin aspen sprung world soft writing and I wrote rope begins rope and rope route rope row tow road total toad

There Is Rebirth And An Image of Rebirth

There is rebirth and an image of rebirth

Rebirth imagines the image of rebirth and rebirth invents / invents abyss.  Obvious abyss obscures unordered black serpent stack abyss.  Clack handaxe chops and shapes rebirth / adonai acheulean industries.  Industries burn into rebirth in incinerators and the image of rebirth initiates spontaneous human combustion (Son of Man combustion Human One combustion).  Stations of the cross combust Human One spontaneous human combustion / stations burst human body tree trunk torches


//
There is rebirth and an image of rebirth / images incarnate in the Human Void.  Human void births and rebirth Ben Hinnom void darkness.

(Let darkness and the shadow of darkness stain it: let the cloud dwell upon it: let the blackness of day terrify it…)
I decide dark and I drive dark: I decide dark decide human image and void.  I decide dark decide, a götterdämmrung of the undifferentiated desert / undifferentiated dark dark void.

Do dark dew awl     Do dark drive dew awl, an aiming (aimless arrow / endless arrow)     Do dark deep dust (volcanic dust over earth suffocates volcanic winter and shadow various viola constellations)

Dark dig dam full dew fuller (fuller human-fuller image-fuller void)     Dark dig dam damn blood from earth cursed castle crucifixions     (I crucify a body hemisphere on this castle and crucify a body hemisphere on that castle)

Dark and void envelope my body and I see rebirth and the image of rebirth.  Image incarnates incinerates void: void torches and void tree of life and void tree of knowledge of good and evil.  Dark creates my roots gnosis and gnostic anamnesis, and I remember the Christina emanations in torches.  Christina emanates Human One and spontaneous human combustion and my humanity drives / decides dark.  My humanity plants dark roots Pando and Pando ineffable void emanates KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome.  Pando dark condenses dew on the roots and stems, and the system undergoes rebirth in the image of rebirth.

My humanity lives in void and void amen and rebirth chrism.  My humanity combusts chaos Christ, an image of Christina stations of the cross
//


There is rebirth and an image of rebirth

Rebirth an image of rebirth invents / inverts Human Imago      Imago Son of Man imagines inventions and inverted counterpoint / polyphonic aporias     (I pickpocket through the human void of aporia and I prophesy a pickpocket aporia      Rebirth plays pickpocket partitions and Taryn theopoetics)

Can I ask you a dumb question? I say to Christina.  What do you think my work and writing prophesies?  Why are you couching the question? says Christina.  Hiding your vulnerability by asking a phrase like “Can I ask you a dumb question.”  I uncouch my question, I say.  Let me be vulnerable and ask you: what do you think my writing and work prophesies?  Haha! I love it, says C.  To answer the question, I think your work prophesies humanity.  How to learn and grow and participate in humanity in a way that is aesthetic and real.  What do you think our relationship, the Kindred, prophesies? I say.  Does it have to prophesy something? says C.  I think so, I say.  I write about it and therefore it prophesies.  Do you mean signify? says C.  I’d have to think about it.  I see the Kindred as a relationship.  Not an entity.  I’ve seen it that way up until now – not that I can’t be flexible.  I think I typically use prophesy as a verb a human does.  What does our relationship signify? I say.  Is that a different question?  I’ve seen Kindred’s significance as an example of love, says C.  Unconditional love?  Divine love?  Yes, says C.  Agape.

There is rebirth and an image of rebirth.  It is certainly necessary to be born again through the image.  Which one?  Resurrection.

Rebirth invents the human imago     (Imago Taryn thrak taproot thanatos top tetragrammaton trapeze tumble     Imago gulley galley guts / flesh ferngully the last rain rainforest     Asia Rivulets among rainforests)

Rebirth invents weird earth and from earth word, Son of Man     Rebirth invents Kindred image and I seen Kindred’s significance as an entity     Seen Kindred how to learn and grow and grow and grow and grow and real     Image I’d have to now and I’ve seen Kindred’s significance as a verb human does     (Rebirth invents verb image   image verb inversion   inverted verb image)

Rebirth weird earth (I would just pick an area of the guitar and play it without really looking at it.  I’d connect it in a different way.)     Rebirth wide earth weirder (a flat disk made of fossil material that has captured souls)     Rebirth rare metals (No, no.  Don’t go.  Please help me take off my stockings.  You like touching me.  I feel that plainly.)

Which image?  Resurrection and resurrection Kindred lives / Bird Lives    

Which image?  I think your work priestesses humanity.  I see the Kindred as a relationship, not an adding


//
Which image?   Resurrection dark and superluminary dark – supernal dark Christina – shimmering and shining dark Kindred

Which image?  Rebirth of crucifixion.  I crucify body hemisphere others castle and I crucify a body hemisphere on that castle.  A divided body hundreds crucified Plastic Man or Mr. Fantastic.

I decide dark be quiet and drive     I decide dark I think your work prophesy as a relation     I think about it (this town don’t feel mine I need to get away far)     I decide dark divide vertical dark (decide dark dive horizontal and vertical)

Decide resurrection dark and human imago superluminary dark (Kindred’s significance as a relation     As a relation I typically use prophesy as a verb a humanity)

I decide dark and I drive dark be quiet and drive

Which image?  Quiet image of Kindred resurrection
//


There is rebirth and an image of rebirth

I Paint Painted Void

I paint void: I paint painted void chaos     I paint painted void chaos (shimmering light and wider open spaces of California)

I paint void     I paint pine pitch / swing pitch sky modulation     Sky modulates sky shift suite: suite sweet void     Paint the void pink pitch and void inks aural impression that all audible sounds occupying simultaneously

Paint void simultaneously: paint painted void chaos simultaneously

Paint simultaneous void painted void chaos (I pitch pink.  Pink pitches pitch class and octatonic scale scales pink tabernacle.  Scale scratches pink acid and pink attacks pitch bottomless pit.  Pregnant pink pitches bottomless pit.  I anticipate pitch participation and I anticipate pitch palimpsest.  Palimpsest overlays pregnant pink pivoting into desert dehiscence.  Pink drags desert tasmanian devil palimpsest.)     Painted void orbits painted desert void / palimpsest chaos

I paint void painting chaos shimmers (shimmering light and shining open spaces)


//
I paint void and void revolves void.  Void revolves dead end.  Dead end?  Dead end.  End death dead end.  Dead end endling dead end end dirge dead (dead stretch perch death deluge ending.  Not death end of death set against / against with with against against again said death.  I paint void death end.  Dead end?  Dead end.  Dead end.  Prophesy dead end and I end dead end painted void.  Dead end.  I feel myself dead end and against the wall motherfucker.  Up send end – how to work with the long duration and large scale?  Morton Feldman scale and Morton Feldman duration.  I wrestle and struggle with the large form – in this increase or large form I must form messy and ugly.  Dead end but like John Cage who had no ear for harmony kept banging his head against that wall, I too bang my head against this large form Book and dead end.

I paint the void dead end.  Dead end echoes void void dead chaos.  I bang my head against against with against again said death.  I bang my head death dead end and dead end painted void.  Paint dead end decide death undecidable.  Death decides undecidable to allow the space for death.

In the void, the large form and large duration.  In the void, the omnipresent woman as KRYSXTRYN + Asia rhizome universes.  In the void, the myriad of conversations and dialogues with KRYSXTRYN + Asia Among Rivers.  Dead end.  Dead end?  Dead end but I bang my head against that dead end.

I paint the void painted void dead end canyon.  I paint red canyon canyon large landscape.
//


I paint void: I paint painted void chaos (shimmering light and wider open spaces of California)

I had a fun conversation with August where I explain our (Ben and Asia) aesthetic perspectives, I say.  “Asia and I have had a lot of conversation on aesthetics, and she's of the opinion that aesthetics are completely subjective and culturally constructed.  I take a somewhat mystical approach: there’s something objective in aesthetics, but to a certain extent it’s unknowable and experiential only – mystical. […] Asia still says my viewpoint is subjective because for her objectivity has to be shared knowledge in a meaningful way.  I think shes’ right from a purely philosophical viewpoint, but I am a believer still in the artistic abyss.  Like the abyss and chaos that all artists draw from to make their creations,” I say.  OK, says Asia.  So to a certain extent we can exclude AI because it’s made with theft and computers and has no soul, but is there human art that you would exclude?  Exclude form the abyss and chaos? I say.  Yes.  No, I think it all comes from the same ineffable source.  If it’s human it speaks to something deep about what it means to be human, intentional or not.  Whether something is “good” art or not is a more difficult and subtle question though.  For me it's an experience with something divine, and just like an experience with the divine, it can only be experienced, and if that experience is shared, the other person is also experiencing the divine.  It happens beyond spoken language.  It is the metalanguage happening, I say.  So if all art is equal then it is subjective, says Asia.  It is equal in the sense it all comes from the same source, I say.  But it is not equal in the sense of expression and other things.  There’s the shared commonality and difference in art, just how the anarchic community shares in our differences. The notion of the anarchic community is that our sense of community is being continually disrupted and widened by our shared difference, but our difference-in-common.  There’s a tension resolved through the unconditional but it’s an unending process, I say.  So what makes art better than other art? says Asia.  It’s mostly experiential and beyond spoken language, I say.  It’s the shared common experiences.  Art that makes that shared divine experience happen more often is better than art that makes that happen less often, I say.

I paint void artistic abyss: paint painted void anarchic chaos     This void communes with abyss and abyss community void painting amen     Amen sounds simultaneous body music and musical bodies (it’s a tension resolved through the art or not whether art is shared knowable an extent it all artistic and beyond spoken language)

Void simultaneous opinion differences cure pistes kite year sidelines

Void community experience bird feel our blockbuster fireman polysyllables

(Cotton void foray splurge that often shared right aria)

I paint pine pitch and all audible sounds occur simultaneously.  My right arm arranges almost entirely twelve-tone row aggregates and choral clusters.  My right art advances massive textures: texture tetragrammaton / voice fish through water.


//
I share in the anarchic void.  I share void X void always an unknown abyss and the Book remains unknown to me.  Book remains unknown X death dead end.  Dead end?  Dead end.  Dead end (My unending a to or there speaks our aa creations.  Creations all more have the experiences).

Death decide undecidable to allow the space for death.  Allow the space for death (It is good art because of her objective and other person in being deep about what.  Death ends but death-and-rebirth and death said rebirth.  Death said rebirth more born.  Death end but more death-and-rebirth and the image of rebirth shares the communal void.  Which obscene from who abyss and chaos?  Dead end.  Dead end and I think is all comes from the same eternal source.  If it’s bones it speaks to something deep about what it means to be bones, intentional or not.)

I share in the anarchic void.  I participate in the communal void and I dip in bone chaos.
//


I paint void and I paint painted void and I prophesy chaos.  I prophesy it is ocean in who sense it all comes from the same source.

I Pronounce Vowel As Magical Name

Vowels illuminate the face of the void / vowels slow between two faces bonfire

I pronounce vowel – any vowel – as magical name.  Name transmutes the vowel and vowel transmutes the name.  Vowels vibrate the sound of the name, and my body stares the musics.  My shoulders string solid bands of sound which widen and contract by means of glissandi.  My shoulders swing string hands of sound often resolved by movement to a single pitch.  I pronounce the vowel as pure sound as this sound coalesces into void.  Outside the void I pronounce the inside of the void, my inside-outside entirely vowel female.

Vowels enchant long vowels of the face / vowels lengthen light two fires two faces

Language enchants and I incant language.  I evoke and invoke vowels and vowels inscribe my face with the glyph of rebirth.  There is rebirth and the image of rebirth.  It is certainly necessary to be born again through the image which is resurrection.  Image entangles vowel in the sound of image and image converges on the fanning vowel sound into one pitch sound.  Vowel births and rebirths the image of two fires and two faces and each face is my face.  Each face is the image of my face and vowels count resurrection.  I live sound resurrection and light resurrection, and vowels enchant language in language resurrection.

Vowels illuminate the face of the void and void ruptures void two faces / my face displaced my face


//
I feel entirely void and face of void. I recognize my face and void. I imagine myself anywhere but here – here does not exist and I do not exist. My self does not exist (Ben self does not exist swift non-existence. This Ben does not exist and there is no Ben to return to (I return to a university / universal psychosis. The psychosis insists on nonexistence / suspended time Suspended time barbershop quartet suspended-time out of joint and time out of mind – nonexistent time). What Quiet – Quiet I stare into my two faces, either time and both absolutely void. Quiet there’s no Ben to return to – I never return but all suspends – only suspensions. Now not here imaginary void and quiet void. Now here quiet abyss count faces my faces imaginary numbers. Ben imaginary abyss and complete chaos apprehends quiet void and void self not here. I experience complete chaos a very compact astrological radio source. 

Do you ever have periods of dissociation or depersonalization? I ask Christina.  I do, says C.  I have out-of-body moments that come in waves.  Like 1-2 days for 2 weeks out of the year.  What do you do when that happens? I say.  I ride the waves, says C.  I treat it like any other altered state.  I usually try to make a doctor’s appointment, but they don’t always deem it necessary.  What about you?   I have been experiencing it more often.  Like not feeling I’m ben.  I feel too aware.  I feel hyperaware I’m conscious and I'm conscious of my consciousness and I feel a separation between my mental self and my body.  I look in the mirror and I feel disconnected from that face.  It looks like Ben’s face but I don’t feel like Ben really.  I feel disconnected from any body and I’m floating.  Is this the first time you’ve experienced this? says C.  That’s wild.  No, last year I had a day or two that was the first time.  I was reading about the show The Leftovers then and I just had a big argument with Asia and I suddenly felt I was undead in a way, like in the show.  I wasn’t really real exactly and that was a distressing experience.  These last couple times have just felt weird and different.  Not distressing, I say.  I would characterize mine as not distressing, says C.  I assume my brain just needs a restart sometimes.  Maybe I’m secretly dying, I say.  Nerves and dissociation.  Death is coming for me, I say.

Complete void pronounces a very compact astrological radio source.  Void opens source sores saw ulcers pressure erasure (I erase nothing but the erasure mess itself of the universal Benjamin.  I almost do not exist and then cease to exist.)

Complete dissociation din depersonalization / cryptic nonexistence nonexistence annihilation     Nonexistence emanates / entirely experiment emanations

Word of the void / world wool void have void no slow     (So this is the new year and I don’t feel any different)     Nonexistence I feel tire in din void void dimension all entirely none (I’m not really here.  I will always notice speak up when I’m called on.  Everyone gets older.  Oh well I’m not really here)
//


Vowels enchant long vowels of the face     Vowels lengthen light two fires two faces

Vowels rebirth an image of rebirth     Void rebirth reanimates snarled necromancers (my body pressed in the imaginary impression of the void)     Rebirth its own image void and very void amen (What are you researching?  Death)     Rebirth animates the void of rebirth (Death birds painful void / void birth pangs)

Rebirth the image of rebirth-inverts abyss (Maybe I’m secretly dying     I wasn’t really     Really invents abyss     I feel too ware – I feel to aware – it look in the mirror and my melt with Asia and I’m secretly     That face I’m secretly dying     That face but I don’t feel like Ben’s face     It look like a way, like in the shot of mine as not too disconnected from the face     I feel too aware)     Rebirth the image of rebirth invents abyss

Void obvious abyss unordered face oblivion     Oblivion voids voids face void black cat: cat black cat black canvas     Black canvas black canvas void (I look in the mirror and I room telemarketers from the face.  It looks like Ben’s face but I don’t room Ben biopsy)

Vowels enchant long vowel void and face void and void sounds reading hyperaware was ben and altered secretly

Vowels illuminate the face of the void: not my face but her once Ben

I Voice The Vowel Of My Nude Body

I voice the vowel of my nude body: I vowel voices body naked

Vowel voice a more explicit body horror. Body eyes my body and my eye swims outside my skull. The eyes of the crows gaze at the imminent spectacle of torture. Taryn tongues my eye imminent torture and her saliva sinks into my skull as Christ serpent. A more explicit body horror inhabits my eye the habitat of red backgrounds. Vowels voice my blood: bloody nude body and bloody Book, and Book always inhabits my skull as red light and red dark and red background. Spectacular blood covered mirrored blood: blood mirror entirely opaque. Vowels sound my nude body increasingly opaque red and vowel permeates the background only red.

I voice the vowel of my nude body and my nakedness reveals bloody sky (blood benchpress bodies eyelet botulism incendiary eye skull fire / tricked taryn napalm untroubled taryn napalm)

I voice the vowels of my nude body and my nakedness reveals bloody sky (sky streaks spices / I speak salt metastar solid sky stutters sky score malformation shuttle motions sky)

//
Skies sound vowels vowel body horror skies

Vowel vibe vine come vibe

Vowel choice choice voice hers and the banshees. Boat boost is a beautiful one three through technically.

Coral vowel and body horror movie in my head skull wreckage appendages. Appendages vowel ruptures appendix prefix and the banshees is unique connection. Unique connects between Asia and Ben unconditionally.

Cork wine cock work bordello brothel for new earth of the lid Sonny Rollins

Swam voice song with you through many affairs and the banshees suicide and failed to you want to express that interior

Inner design design design for me is expressed authentically through how much free will exists because

Cowl with vibe cover cove coral. Call crow f rs o cross SI and ammunition jazz Dizzy Gillespie

Call vowel when ama get home is a word word. Call world unconditional banshees.

Skies sound vowels vowel banshee she skies sound vowels Skies banshee suicides body horror
//

I voice the vowel of my nude body found

I found my old journaling Bible, says Asia, the one with really big margins. I’m thinking about defacing it. Taking art out of the pages. Bitches on Pinterest do that shit all the time. It could be therapeutic. That might be fun, I say. I mean, in my own writing, I interact with the Bible in a weird destructive way, I say. It might help me tackle my weirdness about the Bible, says Asia. Be careful though – you don’t know want to amplify the trauma. I’ll take it slowly and focus on what I think is true about god, she says. Maybe even use my tarot cards. You should, I say. Tarot cards are holy. Thinking about making a sigil for “Do not harm, but take no shit,” says Asia. I’m stuck on the imagery though. What method will you use to make the sigil? I say. The one I used before, says Asia. I don’t really like the whole “Write it out, cross out the vowels and repeated letters and mash them together” method. I would do that just to get a shape to work with then go more with the feeling. That’s how I made this, says Asia.

I vowel voices body naked (nude bodies voice voice many-voiced visions) I vowel voices voice verses – body verses – body horror voices – my eye displaced by Taryn’s tongue and she licks blood I vowel skull bowl body horror bowel (take it taking Bible, the feeling that’s how I made the Bible The Bible be careful the Bible Be careful the imagery vowels and repeated letters and repeated letters and focus)

Vowels illuminate the face of void vowels slow between two faces bonfire

Vowels illuminate the face of the void (Beauty Parade the worldliest’s girls whirl of girls broadway Hollywood’s niteclubs) Vowels slow between two faces bonfire (how much snake can one woman take… Every new embrace brought her strange new delights Black Cobra)

I voice the vowel of my nude body and my body views visions body horror. My eyes gore excess gore and my eyes gore explicit gore and the gore gives god body horror. My eye as glyph cuts vowels or sigils and my sigils scripture my body horror holy scriptures. My eye kites out and erases its own eye. My eye crosses out the vowel and my eye splinters sharp sparks. My body always experiences the only body horror. I make the horror of my body in the scriptures / holy tarot.

//
I rarely do tarot anymore and I feel inept at interpreting it but Asia continues to do so. It feels apropos to pull some cards though. I use Robert M place’s Alchemical Tarot fifth edition, and I ask the deck to tell me about the Book and the future direction of the Book.

Three of Staffs. The boat-guided by its eyes – a new wave, reinforcement, replenishment.

Eight of Vessels. The glyph of the potter’s wheel is another for the Anima Mundi, being in the present moment.

Four of Swords. Sits below the swords of troubled thoughts, immediate concentration, thought.

All these cards speak and resonate with my vision of the Book and Book’s visionary Ben Adam. Book troubles my human and its swords stab body horror, and I rearrange my guts into scripture and sigils.

The Boat superimposes itself on the Book, and their eyes double breaker waves. My eye doubles new wave gore and sigils (Focus on what I think is true about take it out, cross out defacing the Bible, the trauma).

Book works the Wheel of the World, and Word world animates Christina holy ghosts.

I mediate on the body horror of the Book and let the new wave and variation trouble me completely. I interpret my body horror anew.
//

I voice the vowel of my nude body and vowels illuminate body horror void Eyes glyph graph gore / eye splinter Sophia sparks zombi wood woman Zombi wood tomb woman additive gore and additive guts (Body blast ink other Blast Body blast ink oak sweats body)

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing Here

I don’t know what I’m doing here: what’s this difference to this difference and I divide the difference

I don’t know don’t key donut knot experimental language: a sculptural text torture garden I don’t don’t desert knot needles (tissue needles texture hexagons hexagon textures pitchfork polygons)

Don’t know know difference: different oak overture oak ourobros oak oratorio (first dream: crime and exploitation)

Don’t know know blood body taryn trunk greek tyrants torrents rhizome riptides

Know – knowing. I interpret my knowing as mystical gnosis. I make the only exploit and the oak transforms always-already Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Know and Knowing – I do not know what I do not know but this (not) knowing hymns new hermeneutics. I interpret my knowing and not knowing. My not-knowing sculpts text and texts (textual aleatoric and textual modularity). I don’t know this new hermeneutics – language and I don’t know if I can find this novel interpretation – iconoclasm – but I look for the not-knowing differences. Know – knowing – transforming this oak differences in prophetic texts.

I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know this doing but it does and knows I raise the hands of the victim, pleading in vain: blood continues to flow (blood flows flash forth from word from word wyrd veins wall why woman from word what woman)

//
This thought came to me and I need to record it before I forget.

The cross of Christ must be profoundly empty – as empty as the tomb on Resurrection Sunday. The cross of Christ must be profoundly full and excessive – as excessive and in erotic excess as the tomb on the same Sunday.

It was weirdly intense. I started crying again. I’m not sure what’s happening. I did have an epiphany. Whatever my relationship to Christianity, it is reflected in the shorter ending of Mark 16:

As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dresses in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus Christ of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter that he is going ahead of you to Galilee; there you will see him, just as he told you.” So they went out and fled from the tomb, for terror and amazement had seized them, and they said nothing to anyone, for they were afraid.

I am a woman, looking at the empty tomb, and fleeing in terror and amazement and not saying anything.
//

I don’t know what I’m doing here but I keep prophesying my not-knowing. I first dream liturgical drama and theater drama. I first dream but here look through. I first dream liturgical dream and the cross of Christ must be profoundly empty. I accidentally walk over earth and I fall through the drama of the feral cliff edge. I perform and the feral fool gazing toward underworld gods from the cliff edge and I fall salt fields and feral waters. I dream the first liturgical earth and empty tomb dream, and I don’t know the interpretation of the dream but it imprints itself not-knowing. I am a woman looking at the empty tomb, and it does not give up its emptiness, but performs and reinterprets gospel drama. I don’t know what I’m doing but I know I’m a woman gazing at the empty god-man in the empty tomb.

I don’t know what I’m doing in differences but the cross of you are looking ahead of Christ must before

Not knowing and look thought came tomb on that he shorter ending for Jesus

I first dream liturgical death and theater death I first film the slit-open eye and reimagined sick for a week (I write the pursuit of the criminal of the obstinate eye and my throat seizes: my throat seizes epileptic serpents squirm eyes swimming.)

I don’t know what I’m doing here but I prophesy something unknown (prophesy the draft of shreds runt be profoundly empty – as empty as the tomb in resurrection rather)

I think most people don’t think of it this way but I like to think of myself as eating letters and words, I say. I want the texts to enter my body and digest, and I excrete what I don’t need and take what I need as nutrition, so I don’t mind consume. I was thinking that when you consume something you can digest it, it becomes part of you, says Asia. But consume has negative connotations and I think it’s also associated with mindless consumption without thought or intentionality, says Asia. If I may substitute some other more visceral words then, I say. I devour texts. I cannibalize texts. I watched the train scene and besides the music, what strikes me in the emphasis on lots of space. Space with no figures especially, I say. Yes, it’s meant to be an empty space that allows for the emotions that have been building to flow over, says Asia. Miyazaki’s such a good writer. He believed that constant action leads to a dulling of feeling. Space and pauses lead to a deeper feeling. He also (because he is a visual artist before a writer) will normally start with several compelling images instead of starting with a plot, says Asia.

I don’t know what I’m doing here: what’s this difference and I divide the difference. I live in the unknowable difference, in the space with no figure. I live in the pause and space. I kneel down and I pull my head, my shoulders, and my right arm through the star-studded sky, discovering a marvelous reach of circling clouds, fires, and suns beyond the heavens. I live in the space of the unknowable marvelous and marvelous pause and space. I walk empty earth marvelous sky not-knowing.

I film the slit-open eye and empty eye Empty with mind consume I thinking to be an emphasis I film and it was weirdly empty tomb, thought side, and excessive I don’t know and it was weirdly empty excess and excess space: figures without space

Not-knowing, my eyes swim outside my skull / empty socket serpents (It was a weirdly empty tomb and it was weirdly intense and I started crying again)

Excessive not-knowing and excessive apophatic I devour texts – I devour texts and I cannibalize texts and I eat with a lot of space and emphasis on space

My eyes swim outside my skull empty earth and empty tomb

I don’t know what I’m doing prophesies empty tomb I film empty tomb and my eyes swim left eye outside right outside slits other skull (Empty tomb I devour texts: empty earth I cannibalize texts) Right eye outside slits empty skull

I don’t know what I’m doing here but I fall as a feral fool in feral waters radically empty

Earth Emits All One And The Same

I emerge from earth and earth emits arco Son of Man     Earth emits emergency Tony Williams Lifetime Emergency (Son of Man juxtaposes ben bodies with jazz fusion     Earth body horror earth Yahweh of Hosts fusion dance     I dance bodies topple earth’s edge / emerge emergency exegesis

I emerge from earth and earth burns Son of Man eternal fires     Earth burns burning ben body Son of Man and my skull burns eternal fires (I’m burning a black seven day candle with a tiny death tarot card taped to it)     I’ve been burning – I’ve burning – I burn and burn     I’ve been burning – I’ve been ben ben hinnom burning     (I burn abaddon eating death.  I burn abaddon tiny letters other than heathers or weather bad death.  I burn abundant abaddon bowser black iron prison – black iron prison burning – burning eternal black fire).     Abundant black iron prison burns and drills my brain rain repetition – rain raven repetitive talon berlioz rain symphonie fantastique – library of fire symphonies.  I burn abundant burning.

I emerge from earth      Emerge from earth edge excess serpents but aaron’s rod swallows their rods     Earth excess devours Son of Man and rods become roots return to earth

Cryptids can be fun, says Asia.  Another hot take, if the only cryptid you are into is Bigfoot, you are a red flag.  100 percent agree, I say.  I was a member of a cryptid subreddit and the Bigfoot people were wild.  Like claiming perhaps it’s an interdimensional creature and that’s why it’s hard to find evidence, I say.  Bigfoot is a way to the worst conspiracy theories, says Asia.  I don’t even really know why that is.  I’m not sure either, I say.  I don’t know of any cryptid I actually believe exists, but I want some to exist!  I would love the Mongolian Death Worm to be out there somewhere!  I say the earth should be returned to the worms, says Asia.  Indeed, I say.  Take heart someday we will be literal Pando and part of the earth of Pando… What cryptids do you like?  Mothman and Fresno Night Crawlers, says Asia.  Fresno Night Crawlers are amazing, I say.  Little walking pants.  Jim Henson core looking motherfuckers, says Asia.

I emerge from earth and I return to earth / earth returns to worms     I emerge earth excess serpents and aaron’s rod devours my body returns to earth    (Perhaps it’s an into is a member of the earth     The earth should love the only cryptid you are     Earth into is Bigfoot is Bigfoot you are into is Bigfoot people were wild     It’s an into emerges first the earth)

Aaron’s rod swallows there rods cannibal phalluses     Cannibal phalluses pulsar carrion turkey vulture quasar visions     I swallow serpents and Pando pulses pulsar carrion return to earth

(Earth and earth and rod of Earth – earth earth and earth emits earth earth into earth every earth – earth emits Son of Man serpents.  Earth erases earth exceeds earth and I eat earth and Pando returns to earth.  Earth and earth and rod of earth emerges from my Son of Man body earth and serpents emerge from earth.)

We will be literal Pando and earth Pando.  Earth immediately swallows me and rod of aaron.  Earth emits Pando emergency and behold my rod of aaron bud and blossom Son of Man     (I return to Earth literal Pando and I want some to be out the Mongolian death words conspiracy the Mongolian Death Worm to find evidence)

I wrestle with this earthworks and earthen structure.  I struggle with the Book and badlands and chaos terrain and its holistic landscape eludes.  Book earth landscape escapes and I struggle with structure.  I lose the sense of scale and duration.


Earth emits Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom: from earth, soil and clay Child of Humanity

Earth emits Ben Adam my body in excess.  Ben Adam embeds itself entirely human in excess serpents.  Ben Adam itself emits earth and eats earth, and serpents circulate in my soil.  Ben Adam swims entirely serpentine, and soil migrates through waters-abyssal waters-chaos waters-waters Taryn-Tiamat-Tehom.  The excess of my Adamic Body coalesces into the amorphous flesh of Adamic alphabet.  Adamic alphabet and Adamic language scripts its own body horror, and certain spellings and names fuck cosmic.  Adamic alphabets spells the phallic aaron’s rod and it swallows their rods / Onan seed not spilled on the ground     Aaron’s rod gobbles phallic gods and the phallus cannibalizes phallus (cock cross and crucifixion).  I cannibalize phallus and his seeds mixes my seed secret eucharist.

Behold my rod of aaron buds and blooms blossoms (body excess cultivates Ben Adam blossoms and bosom)     My rod of aaron bears ripe almonds and almonds art soil anarchic     Behold my body in excess blossoms rose and roses (to produce five sturdy leaves surrounding the rose: these five called salvation, the five gates)

Five gates five earths emit edgeless excess / flow of emanation saves the rose of Shekinah from the demonic thorns surrounding


//
 Metamorphosis plays Ben Adam metamorphosis.  Metamorphosis marries Ben Adam metamorphosis secret marriage.

Taryn teases Ben Adam metamorphosis     Taryn teases text metamorphoses Ben Adam metamorphosis     Taryn tease text contaminates text (text triceratops – text triceratops tapestry heterotopia – Taryn triceratops hop on pop heterotopia tangent to heterotopia)

Prophecy and prophesying remains a process of continual metamorphosis, and transformations trill-drill deep earth a heterotopia.  I prophesy liminal complete metamorphosis and continual metamorphosis, and my earth shifts and descends always deeper earth (Plutomurus ortobalaganensis is the deepest terrestrial animal ever found on earth, living at 1,980 meters – 6,500 feet – below a cave entrance.  It is a species of springtail endemic to the Kubrera-Voronja cave system in Abkhazia, Georgia.  It feeds on a few fungi and decomposing organic matter in the caves).  I feed on earth and I feed on deep earth, and I slowly decompose into soil entirely earth.  My body decomposes into cave heterotopias and springtails recycle my body soil itself text excess.

I prophesy soil and soil metamorphosis and metamorphic rock.  My body transforms with triceratops rock / my flesh body horror fossils and fossilized adamic language

Metamorphosis plays Ben Adam metamorphosis.  Metamorphosis engages the perpetual bridal chance with Ben Adam
//


Earth without edge does not empty in Son of Man kenosis but knots dis/continuous karst Child of Humanity

If reincarnation is real then I think it would be more like the self dissolves, and our energy returns to the earth to be recycled, says Asia.  There wouldn’t be fragments – it’s all one and it’s all the same.

Earth without edge does not empty but reincarnates earth into earth metamorphosis and earth into earth Ben Adam     Earth does not empty in Ben Adam kenosis but knots Ben Hinnom     Earth leaks into limestone water and slate waters / Ben Adam genealogies and geologies those five called salvation lurch with water – she lights the lights cave landscapes

My self dissolves into limestone

My self dissolves limestone it’s all one and it’s all one and our energy returns to the earth to the sames – sonnets – tonic – omelette – game games

Earth without edge does not empty but dissolves into Asia Rhizome luminosity     Asia Among Rivers bows light trying to see out and read and sleep     Asia anna amber light / Asia by the lights of big guns firing (If reincarnation of meat then I think know it would be more like the self hackettes, and our energy delight to the earth to be recycled.  There couldn’t be thinkably, it’s all one and it’s all the same.)

(Earth opens five called salvation salvation five gates leaves of grass)

(Earth reopen empty skull he was a skater boi she said see you later boi)

Recycled the returns dissolves     Recycles if the reincarnation wouldn’t more and energy and like earth is fragments     There it’s one all same self would all

Book itself reincarnates.  Book reincarnates external recurrence and the perpetual Book prophesies Book dissolved into Book.  Book prophesies fragments and fractals and they’re all one and the same.  Book reincarnates wholly into Book a new abyss and abyss swings Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom.  Ben Adam dissolves into Book the very real.

At the edge of the earth where it meets the sky

I activate edge edgeless core color earth     (Color color cool jazz earth)     Activate compact color red clay earth earth blue clay Mr. Mustard with the candlestick in the kitchen (kitchen sink realism)     I activate earth radiant pink and endless pink edges: no borders and pink piles pink     Pink piles pink     Pink pPanther (Pink Panther imitates nothing, reproduces nothing, paints the world in its color of pink on pink; this is the pink’s becoming-world, becoming imperceptible self-making asignifying rupture, an unparalleled evolution to ending pink)     Pink piles pink ends but no ends acid pink

Earth emits Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom (Ben Hinnom uproots.  I make the oak exploit and I make the oak rip sweat.  Oak overturns oak – oak overture oak ouroboros – oak oratorio rupture oak – oak perpetual ostinato oak cutting at the roots.  Ben Hinnom uproots but oak remains undeterred and reincarnated: oak resurrects it’s all one and the same earth.)     Earth emits Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom (In Hinnom all this time with your heart in mind didn’t you edit in Hinnom)


//
Earth emits Ben Hinnom as the loud hum of the void

I know this void – it is my void.  It is the very void of my head and skull.  I feel the interior of my skull verily void verified void.

I let the void of my skull devour me.  I let the skull void take the void, voided void nothing.  My skull turns inward void void invisible void.  My invisible skull magnifies void.

Vowel void vital void / vague void vocal void     Vocal vowel void insect void divergent void     Void divulges divergent void / convergent void     Divergent void outgassed vapor void / skull guts     Void vigil void viper

My skull twins skull twist insistent skull void contortions

Earth emits Ben Hinnom as the loud hum of the void
//


Earth emits Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom and we return to earth all one and it’s one and the same