Why Is This Horror

Why is this: This     This desert this decay     This decay seven sermons to the dead     This at this desert dry decay that simultaneously preserves the human grotesque / mummy monsters     (monsters tell me why I don’t like Mondays)

When is this: This and this horror and my horror
(Every horror movie models mortality
(Horror models body mottled variegated blood variations)
(Horror movie modeled mothlight)

Why is this: This This body horror hallelujah Hallelujah flesh moths man horror hallelujah


//
This: crunch crunch catastrophe (crunch keep crystal candle aperiodic crystal)

This: obscene from who abyss and chaos

This and this threads this and the this reflects (models) the horrific catastrophe of my body. My body crunches obscene and censored, but the horror nonetheless reveals. My body crunches obscene from chaos and abyss, and I think it all comes from eternal sources. My bones crunch catastrophe and if it’s bones, it speaks. It speaks to do something deep about what it means to be bones, intentional or not. My bones speak whether something is good off or not is a more difficult and subtle movement though… My bones speak OK, so if all off I’d ocean it then it is elsewhere. It is ocean in who senses its bones and it all comes from the same source…

This bone speaks crunch crunch abyss crunch Captain crunch all buried This catastrophe


//
Why is this: This This body this horror

(CUNY philosopher Noël Carroll notes: “It is a remarkable fact about the creatures of horror that very often do not seem to be of sufficient strength to make a grown man cower. A teetering zombie or severed hand would appear incapable of mustering enough force to overpower a coordinated six-year old. Nevertheless, they are presented as unstoppable, and this seems psychologically acceptable to audiences.” Why is this?)

Why is this: This This descent decay (My horror does not originate from strength but from deformation delay, the disheveled grotesque of my body. The horror of my body originates in its crunch and catastrophe, and my bones speak as a teetering zombie and a severed hand in my body cuts into my body: This. This body tuned in this horror teeters horrific catastrophe. My bones speak odd horror oddities.)

Why is this: bones and bones speak

(I mean it’s pretty bare bones, says Asia. Just some rocks and a sponge filter, but I had to sanitize everything.
I hate them and their TEETH, says Asia. Worse than horses. At least they don’t have weird legs and hidden finger bones.
Opalized dinosaur bones, says Asia. I want a chest piece of a sun motif, says Asia. Yes, going up to my collar bone.)

Why is this: This I filter but them bones This them bones (I believe them bones are me some say we’re born into the grave I feel so alone gonna end up a big ol’ pile of them bones)

I filter but them bones This and this philosopher remarkable creatures (I resemble a remarkable creature: creature assemblages assemblage bone collages I resemble a philosopher and an alchemist and my bones stir the cauldrons) I filter opalized going mean I horses / at dinosaur up it had least bones


//
This horror resembles them bones and this crunch of remarkable creature

Only canyon subtle philosophical better
Only canyon this decay
I to pretty to they want my bare sanitize
Philosophical better malpractice node vulcanization difference her

(Dead end? Always dead end. Bones speak dead end and horror models philosophical mortality. Listen to Morton Feldman or John Cage or John Coltrane – how does John Coltrane playing the long solo? Why is this?)

Dead end why is this Them send hidden fingers bones Just some rocks and hidden finger bones

Why is this: This long Coltrane solo and the music signifies forwards and backwards dead end. … I listen to All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem: You spend the first five years trying to get with the plan and the next five years trying to be with your friends again […] Though we’re running out of the drugs and the conversations are grinding away I wouldn’t trade one stupid decision for another five years of life […] Where are your friends tonight if I could see all my friends tonight…
What is this: horror of age and horror of decay. Nostalgic horror. I age. I nostalgic. LCD Soundsystem plays for me: If I could see all my friends tonight. If I could see Krystal or Taryn tonight (I mean it’s clunky lone bone. Just some rocks and a sponge filter but I had to sabotage everything). Only language subtle creature reminders / weird tell and finger bones. I find my this in the multiphonic crunch of the long John Coltrane solo: it is ocean in whole sense all comes from who same source.
//


Why is this: This This desert this decay This decay seven sermons of the dead This as this desert decay that simultaneously preserves my human body grotesque… This body monsters

This body: this human body slowly decays and betrays This human body ben adam adds hen to pan a porous flesh and rotting flesh (my flesh rots decayed rhizome / flesh leaves flesh petals my flesh flattened and preserved in heavy books

This body
I want a chest piece of sponge filter but I had to my collar bone
This body
(Double dose of shock! A blood-dripping brain transplant turns a maniac into a monster
Brain of Blood)
This human slowly decays into a teetering zombie or a severed hand. This humans human ocean from the nostalgic same source

Why is this: every horror movie mulches mortal bodies This just some rocks and a sun motif Yes, going up to sanitize everything


//
My bones speak crunch crunch crunch / my bones catastrophe crunch decay

I age. I create nostalgia ocean than it is elsewhere. This is a song for me. If I could see all my friends tonight
(The drink you spilt all over me
“Lover’s Spit” left on repeat
My mom and dad left me stay home
It drives you crazy, getting old…)
I age. I reminisce. I let the songs speak for me. I’m doomed, aren’t I? Dead end. I will die soon, right? No, I only destroy and decay into remarkable creatures and monsters tell me why I don’t like mondays. I listen to “Ribs” by Lorde and I rewrite a dream again Krystal and reeling through the midnight streets and fearing getting old. Christina and I listen to Hey Jealousy by Gin Blossoms. Nostalgia destroys me and buries me mass graves seasons of the abyss.

My teeth eat nostalgia. My teeth touch death dead end mending wall. My teeth applies melodic wallpaper and paper mace crinoline (linoleum limousine mouse Christina I need you so much closer)
(You’re a wasted face You’re a sad-eyed lie You’re a holocaust)
My face disappears in the spectre of my face. My face dissipates by nostalgic apparitions (vapor voluptuous vapor Christina towards my death and dying)
Worse motif to teeth
Chest bones opalized rocks
I bare them at I and fingers

I don’t see you anymore since the hospital (I listen to more Christina. Listen to my age and my body creature decays. Listen to more Gin Blossoms. I haven’t seen you in ages but it’s not as bleak as it seems. We still dance in whirling stages in my Busby Berkeley Dreams). I dream my decay strange Christina. Christina the banshee presided over my body bag details. Christina the psychopomp and my human body slowly decays and betrays. This human body ben adam adds hen to pan a porous flesh and a rotting flesh (a cult of undead creatures seek fresh warm human blood! Vampire People). Christina the banshee accompanies me to the underworld as a psychopomp. Dreaming of Mercy Street. Well the band has stopped playing but we keep dancing. The world keeps turning. Christina dances my death.
//


Why is this: This This desert this decay This decay models the remarkable fact about creatures of horror
Opalized dinosaur bones
I back a chest piece on a cut rotor hat, going up to my collarbone

Horror. Why is this? This. This. This incapable of mustering enough force. This presenting as unstoppable. Horror: this desert this decay and my body betrays. The song betrays. Its ocean from its same sources.

Sabotage Instills Descent

Sabotage instills descent: sabotage distills descent

Sabotage descends distilled descent: spread saints straw stickers (I descend where my own brain sabotages me. I descend unaware into frequent nightmares. Nightmares nurse my brain nursing nightmares machine descent brain horrors. Every horror movie models mortality. My brain judges my daily nursing frequent nightmares, a machine for producing horror movies. I descend where my brain nurses surreal and automatic initiation into automatic mysteries.)

Sabotage instills descent
Her last supper margaritas in the mall
My body mall lot burns manganese anamnesis /
mangrove eye cataracts contact chessboards
Sabotage distills descent and descent drags sabotages holy ghost

Sabotage plant stem stilettos plane stew / a maniacal killer in red rain coat My manic brain wears red and sword red and arrow red and red manic brain kills off American tourists on a tour bus by gouging out my eyeballs (my eyeballs float their eyeballs)

Sabotage distills descent and descent and models horrific descent and every eye gazes into my eye impossible. Sabotage distills my descent into my horrific descent and my brain declines into holy spirit sabotage. I exist in horror which sabotages all horror and my body descends into haunted houses. My body descends as haunted houses.


//
Every horror movie models mortality Every horror movie models mottle mortal motets Mottle models motet mouths moths and midnight moths unmetered mortality Moth mortal minutes or molecules: mosh pit macromolecules Mortar mortar minutes…

Every horror movie models my body as haunted house and bloody bridal chamber. My body Book contains every horror movie and the horror judges my morality as guilty and absolutely guilty, and the sabotaged holy spirit condemns me.

Every human movie models mortality / horror distracts me Horror distracts and redirects the horror of my body (body repeats the horror of the body my body hot parking lot burns manganese anamnesis – mangrove eye cataract contact chessboard)

Every horror movie models my morality and mortality. Horror creaks creek death and copper death and death descends with sabotaged holy spirit. Horror reprints creeping death and Christina death and always crucifixions (death always bounces the checks it writes me). Horror models repeated riptide suicides / Dan Cooper jumps out the backseat suicides suicide doors).

Horror taunts my aging health and my thumb buzzes with possible carpal tunnel

I slowly die slowly dying my hand buzzing analog horror
The map says you’re fucked
The map says we’re fucked
My hand buzzes biro bitter sitter (Philip K. Dick sister? Sitting sister)

Circular ruins rambling / nonsense: I obsess with nonsense

Ridiculous body horror (For a moment, I felt very unreal and the people in my life didn’t exist, and suddenly, I snapped backwards and I suddenly felt real again. I shaped the fins of my skull into suicide doors and suddenly felt real again.)

Some film critics condemned it as a violent splatter film, while others praised it for its dramatic content. My body splatters across the room action painting and abstract expressionism.

(Reality is that, which when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away. My graphomania for the Book always exists. This electricity in my body persists. Kindred and Pando remain.)
//


Sabotage instills descent: sabotage distills descent

I descent into horror and every horror movie mulches mortal bodies Every horror movie mashes murder into my marbled/mottled bodies. My upside-down body tailspins sabotage (I spin head rooster rotas).

I descend into distilled horror and I spin hen to pan panoply / polyphonic flesh
Body horror witch hag hungry bodies mortal mouths
Mouths mulch human mouths man body horror (Body horror hallelujah Hallelujah junction / disjunct body horror)

I Sabotage Holy Spirit

I sabotage holy spirit and its dogs, harpoons, and wives wash wave watercolors     Sabotage holy spirits harpoon feral halo happenings / spirit happening wash anechoic chambers
Chamber chambers bridal chamber
Saber cataract slack spirits

I sabotage holy spirit savage or ravage ritual

(The giant gorilla lay on the pavement / King Kong camel bone)

Holy Spirit practices few languages and Holy Ghost has a practicing law firm. I participate in a satellite office located in the Lake of Fire.

I sabotage holy spirit and engine emanations…
Sabotage alien energon cube chemical castles…
(Chemical candle castles / dead man’s hand harness)

The Book sabotages my brain – my sense of creative competence and experimental fluency – so I sabotage the Book. The process of writing the Book always betrays the Book. Book betrays the Book a self-sabotage and Ben-sabotage (But you will exceed all of these, for you will sacrifice the man who bears me. Already your horn has been lifted up, and your anger has flared up, and your star has burned brightly, and your heart has grown strong). Book betrays my creative chaos but I betray the abyss of the Book – betrayal both direction at once and multidirectional chaos.

I sabotage with their dogs their harpoons their wives and the THEIR word-weapons their Their feral word happenings crash cataracts – her cataracts over me and her waves around me (Their harpoons her deep calls to deep at the thunder of your torrents all her waves and billows have gone over me)


//
Book betrays Ben Adam betrays Book

This secret appears in the Book of Adam. When darkness arouses it, it arouses intensely, thereby creating hell, clinging to it in that conflict. As the seething fury subsided, conflict of a different type arose: a conflict of love. There were two conflicts: one beginning, one ending. This is the way of righteous: beginning harshly, ending gently.

The secret of the Book of Ben and Asia: our conflict clings to the side of hell and the conflicts cracks chaos and chaosmos, our Book abyss. Abyss opens radically open, the Book of Love. The conflict of Love and the Book of Love participate and create the marriage of heaven and hell. Our conflict creates the chaos of the conflict of love: unconditional love and abyssal love, undifferentiated.

I don’t know other ways of support at the moment and I made things worse and more complicated by saying anything at all, says Asia. That’s why I said forget I said anything at all. I don’t want to say more things: I want to say less things. Saying more things takes mental energy that I don’t currently have, she says. This may sound weird but I feel like we are the same brain, I say. I think we are feeling the same thing. I feel I make things worse too. I forgive us though. I still appreciate you and us trying to figure out our brains. I still love you and I love us. I think we are going through some growing pains, I say. Yeah, I think so too, says Asia. We are very close, I say, and are growing better but our brains are very close right now. We are experiencing a lot of conflict but that’s OK – we will get through it. You’re still not a nuisance, you know. I would still rather be frustrated with you than without you, I say. I know that, says Asia. And I know other people aren’t annoyed by me either. It’s just hard sometimes. It feels like the world is too much and I’m too much and not enough, she says.

As seething fury subsided, conflict of a different type arose: a conflict of love…
Love crucifies completely (crucifixion completes but love never finishes)

Conflict arises saying through we frustrated don’t more – conflict know things still growing you – conflict I may figure now other made sound out

(Crucifixion completes but love never finished Love frequents chaos and chaosmos, an always in-process mythmaking and metal smithing Love jewel beetles and swarm a stochastic love)

Book betrays Ben Adam betrays Book
//


I sabotage holy spirit with holy spirit I sabotage savate holy spirit savage or ravage ritual I sabotage engine emanations alien energon cube chemical castles Sabotage holy spirit I can’t stand it I know you planned it I’m a set it straight this watergate

(The giant gorilla lay on the pavement / King Kong camel bone King Kong Bundy camel bone different sized bore holes)

Holy Spirit sabotages Holy Spirit and Ben Adam sabotages Ben Adam. Holy Spirit betrays Book and verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me. One of the Book betrays one of the Book and I dip my hand in the languages of the Book. Book necessarily betrays: woe to the Book by who the Child of Humanity is betrayed! But the Book slays the human that clothes Human. I live in the Book and Human, and I practice Woman and Holy Spirit.

Sabotage Holy Spirit their dogs their harpoons their wives awash
Sabotage spear saints straw stickers
Sabotage plant stem stilettos plane stew / a maniacal killer in a red coat
Holy Spirit are things worse and us though sometimes
(It feels the worse and us things worse)


//
The secret of the Book of Ben and Asia says less things more complicated holy spirit

I mix this secret from the side of love with the conflict of melody and it encodes bone cipher and King Felix DNA I mix desert music with secret music, the conflict of her names (her names crucify in love and resurrect in love)

(As seething fury subside and this may souls weird but I feel like we are the same brain. I think we are housing the same thing. I still appreciate you and us and us fluids to recipe out yet brains. I still love you and I love us. I still we are young through some growing death.)

I mix this secret from the side of love, and from my side, blood and water separately…
//


I sabotage holy spirit…

Lacuna

Lacuna
Lacuna nox door hinge
Lacuna Door harsh
Door noise
Lacuna harsh noise human

Palimpsest Palimpsests

Lacunae this is where time becomes space
This space This space where
Where space time where
Lacuna Manuscript Palimpsests

This is where time becomes space
Lacuna numbers Names
Numbers noise meteors
(Space names space names)

Lacuna complexes noise palimpsest

This time space space nexus
Space speculum that doesn't shine

Lacuna
Lacuna nox door hinge
Night or hinge noise
Lacuna palimpsest lagoon
corrugated corrosion

Crimped speculum specular word
Lacuna Hacked space
Spectre that doesn't shine

Lacuna Palimpsest Palimpsests

Hacked space Happens as at

Turn Yourself Into Goo

I unearth mad melody     I unearth melody mix maps     I unearth mad excavation and exposed nerves and bone

Unearth mad melody: cell cell in mutated earth Unearth mad silence
Some silence slit open Kingdom of the Skies
Some silence slow slicing magic syllables erupting free my skin
Malleable silence: asphalt flesh salt atrocity exhibit

(I pray that my failures may be interesting)

I unearth mad melody. I feel closest to earth although I live in different floors and different bodies, because my bodies and ground get up from earth. I pace back and froth across mad earth and actions earth. My melody always splits anxious and manic, and I live in the mania of harmonic earth. I excavate the silence which makes my body into strip mines (I harvest my diamond neurons from my kimberlite skull). Excavate silence and silence too steeps quiet anxiety.

I unearth mad melody and I mix maps mapped body almost silence I unearth mad excavation and her machine exposed nerve and bone Her machines never leave the cell and the cells repeat and mutate
Cells repeat that one brain cell is working overtime
Cells repeat Pando and Kindred (Did you know that when a caterpillar
goes into its chrysalis form, says Asia, it deconstructs itself cell by cell,
essentially turning itself to goo and then rebuilds itself?)
Cells mutate and unearth melody

Unearth mad excavation and it deconstructs itself by cell
By cell By cell by Cell by cell Excavate exposed nerve and bone and bone mixes melody melody myrrh / excavation of frankincense microphone melodies (Blown microphone distort melodies melted into the magnet medium)

(I pray that my failures may be interesting. Asia prophesies to me: deconstruct yourself cell by cell and turn yourself into goo. I fear change: change shakes me into tremor anxiety and seizure catastrophe. I fear change but Asia prophesies to me: Benjamin, you caterpillar, go into your chrysalis and deconstruct yourself cell by cell down to your god goo and rebuild yourself anew. Revive Benjamin cell by cell anew and cell cell renewed. Transform even your nursing and daily work, and this work of god too transforms goo and grey goo and god goo. Do not plant your gold into the ground but invent into the chrysalis of the parable. Asia prophesies to me full goo and nurse your goo… Physician, heal thyself.)

Sometimes I feel in a weird way, I am the emotional pillar of my friends, I say. A wounded healer trying to heal. In 12 Step those are our only healers, says Christina. Am I a healer for you? I say. Yes, but I want it to be more mutual, says C. Friend goal, she says.

I unearth mad melody cell by cell and motif by motif
Marked preoccupation paintings world cataclysm
Cyclotomic cataclysm orgasm Taryn Towers
Taryn mutates apocalyptic towers

Excavate mixed melodies: melodies unearth microphones melted into magnesium earths Melodies melt into nomadic catastrophic and rhizomic apocalypse (Apocalypse marks painted silence Silent that you into cell goo Silent isle brain that chrysalis cell rebuilds cell)

Rebuild Ben in Taryn Towers and anvil apocalyptic. Rebuild Ben from its goo – nursing goo and wounded healer goo. Rebuild earth renewals and resurrections and earth enters whenever pure bone. Rebuild Ben wounded silence and asphalt flesh earth (That one tree cell is working enervate that one tree cell new you know that when a supersystem goes into its rhyolitic form.)

I unearth melody and goes into its deconstructs in dart cell by cell essentially turning into goo
Silence when a caterpillar goes into hypnosis
Slow more sow quiet itself cell by cell
Painted Taryn Towers rebuilds itself

I unearth mad melody that one brain cell working overtime I unearth mad excavation and her machine exposes my cell by cell wounded healer Mad melody mixes myrrh melancholy and frankincense mania (Mania deconstructs and distorts map microphones)

I Rework The Corrupt Rhizome Of The Word

I work and rework the corrupt rhizome of the word (non-corrupted word remains non-existent)     I work and rework rhizomic rock language – language long tone sheets of sound

(Work more constraints More constraints = more creativity)

I work and rework long tone sheets of sound (here Coltrane utilizes melodic cells that repeat and mutate, with overblowing, split tones, multiphonics, altissimo register phrase, anguished cries and lightning fast arpeggios, purposefully out of key phrases, harmonies stacked on harmonies)

Rework rework repetitive constraints
Melodic cells cell crack cataract
Cell molt cells rock
Melodic memory molt
Rework repetitive constraints without constraints
Melodic cells repeat and mutate body performances
Mutate melody melodies rewrite anarchic altissimo Not quite constraints but paradoxical constraints –
non-constraint cells
Mutate continual dirt road blues
More constraints continue constructed bone or bone constructed from bone constructed’

I work and rework the melody entirely outside: I rework melody entirely erotic earth Outside melody mutate earth cell stacked on earth cell I voice an erotic earth rhizome and the rhizome to rhizome pushing over the bar lines
Overblow body earth body perform
Overblow bow fire bottomless pit
Blow burden of the valley of vision

(More constraints: chillingly people randy reward now cock tails had once take first lyre More constraints have torched and I torch bone)

I write and rewrite open the bar line (A bar from J.S. Bach’s Fugue No. 17 in A flat, BMV 862 from The Well-Tempered Clavier, an example of counterpoint. The two voices on each staff can be distinguished by the direction of the stems and beams.) I voice an erotic earth in the dialectical movement of constraint and non-constraint and I rewrite between non/constraint
Cells mutate between constraint
Split tones stab bone on bone constructions
Split tones tap compact bone constructed from cells

(Ants kinda act like cells in a collective brain, says Asia.
Have you heard of the stem cell based lab grown brain organoids? says Asia
That one brain cell is working overtime, says Asia.)

I work and rework the corrupt rhizome of the word (non-corrupting word chains itself into impossible non-existent) I rework you heard of the stem cells in a collective brain – that one brain organoids – that one brain that overtime act brain – mutated cells rework
Mutated multiphonic machines
Multiphonic flesh on flesh multiplicities
Cell cell rhizome multiphonics


//
I sometimes forget the multiphonic mysticism of the monastic cell and cell praxis. My mysticism mutates psalm into split tone spirits / my bone constraints pink out of the corner.

I work and rework three Steles of Seth: Seth stars Seth constellations Seth nostalgia new street lights

(Stele stars neutralized nostalgia new streetlights that nanotube no displace Nanotube no displace nightjar new disaster nightgown them pure)

I rework three Steles of Seth and I praise nonbeing. I praise nonbeing and her multiphonics flow reality before realities and first being before beings. Rework Children of Seth and Child of Humanity prophesies me. Her humanity mutates from cell to cell.

Her humanity mutates cell onto cell Steles jutting from earth
Eggs kinda act like cells in a discursive cream
Have you heard of the stem wolf based lab grown cream organoids?
That one cream wolf is working eternity
Three inhabits Taryn perpendicular to earths

Rework ribbon repetition Rework ribbon bridge repetition nag hammadi microphones Rework ribbon suspended repetition smoke so summarize light or sight
Some on detached solids
Some silence slit open Kingdom of Skies
Some silence slow snow slip n’ slide august artist unable asphalt

The apophatic and the mysterious never forgets me and its silences stencil Taryn Steles and Taryn multiphonics
//


I work and rework more constraints More constraints have torched and I torch bone (bone cells brain cells that one brain cell is working overtime) I torch bone more constraints devil got my woman / devil got my woman constrained bone

I mix melodies in counterpoint: point against point mutated into cells against cells. I inhale the cells and swallow the cells and it transforms my voices beyond the bar line. I have two voices and they connect in monastic cells and secret psalms. I chant psalms and I praise the reality before the realities: KRYSXTRYN. I praise the first being before first being multiphonic KRYSXTRYN. I work rhizomic melodies and the melody entirely outside mixed earth and earth. I mix melody gog and magog prophesying apocalypse, and apocalypse earth initiates topological mixing.

I Voice A Nonlinear Melody

I voice a nonlinear melody with magical tones as cosmic therapy (music is the healing force of the universe)

I voice a virulent vomit, a violent vision vomiting in the interstitial place between universes I tone and intone Taryn messianic time and apocalyptic time: Taryn pitch and rhythm riverruns bone eschaton skipping stone time

(I voice wind thunder and voice augments nonlinear melodies)

Taryn pitch and rhythm widens durations riverrun rhizome and multiplicities excavate erased resurrections. Lightning resurrects Jason Lives and melodies augment melodies. Melodies augment voices / thunder and wind strengthen each other.

(Voice thunder virus between universes)


//
I voice blues: rubato blues blue time multiplicities

My mind got to ramblin’, like a wild geese from the west I ramble royal rumble circular ruins / I ramble rough textures…
Blue messianic time
Blue apocalyptic time
I ramble ruins ruins like a wild geese god rumbling (symmetrical palindromes asymmetrical)

I voice blues increasing wind thunder Wind thunder rumbles blues I ramble Link Wray’s Rumble: I ramble bacon and sausage Link Wray ray rumble My mind got to rambling my mind rambles verses geese graboids

I revive geese and I revive ritual wild ramble / I revive wild geese

I voice blues: wild geese word blues
//


I tone and intone Taryn multiplicities: I tune cosmic tones between universes (Taryn pitch and rhythm excavates resurrections. I tone and intone resurrections, and my body widens apocalypses. My body widens word onto word many apocalypses. Book always widens resurrections. I voice book resurrected into the Book multiplicity of voices… My bone lives in my bone erratic and elliptic, and my body erases itself many resurrections. I live wide in my many deaths and as equally as many resurrections. I voice a virulent vomit and resurrection gives me disease. I never die because resurrections infect my bones. I voice nonlinear melodies and nonlinear resurrections. Deaths – my deaths seep into my Book-Brain…)


//
I tone and intone my bodies between universe wreckages – my bodies between geese resurrections My body augments resurrections / strictly increasing resurrections (Borderline personality disorder – pervasive long-term pattern of significant interpersonal relationship instability, an acute fear of abandonment, and intense emotional outbursts… Is this me? Is this Ben? Acute fears of abandonment – abandon – abandon – who abandons me others… Through others between abandonments – absolutely abandoned… I recognize my fear of abandonment – empty my skull empties abandon captivity.)
I’m here. I’m here. I write here and I’m here and not abandon but other grids. I prophesy dot grid – she’s wedded – prophesy here and blues and wild geese – I voice here resurrections and here Taryn messianic – I’m here.

(Idealization by Edvard Munch, 1903, who is suggested to have had borderline personality disorder)
//


I voice a nonlinear melody with musical tones as cosmic therapy (music is the healing force of the universe)

My voice increases / my voice augments My voice intensifies virulent vomit, a violent visions – vision borderline rumble vision circular abandonment Here messianic times I am apocalyptic – interstitial plane between universes I tone and intone Taryn Messianic time and apocalyptic time: widen voice durations multiplicities

Her multiplicities excavate… (Don’t die because if you do, I think everyone in the universe might just go cold) Her multiplicities excavate erased resurrections Taryn resurrects primary colors Taryn resurrections primary colors: multiple tones of who’s afraid of yellow and red


//
My mind rambles ruins riff: metallic riffs and Mastodon riffs My mind turns minute minute machine / my mind turns turning of the screw ghost stories

My mind ruins do geese see god (revive geese revival geese resurrections turning) My mind ruins accelerating wind and increased thunder (a thunder and wind strengthen each other)…
//


I do feel writing and creativity is important to prophecy, I say. I know we talked about it in the past but prophesying creativity, community, unconditional love, anarchy is necessary. Prophesying our friendship is important to me. I think our friendship is a microcosm of community in a way: overcoming obstacles, growing together, creating together… Those are good things to prophesy, says Asia. I see most of them. Not sure about community. I also see death and the search for meaning, she says.

I voice my mind got to ramblin’ and for every Ben Death Ben Resurrection
Voice their dogs their harpoons their wives awash
Their wives awash anechoic chambers Anechoic chambers bridal chambers death
Ruins ruins wild geese
Voice rambles Link Wray’s Rumble

I voice a nonlinear melody: I think prophecy Prophecy I also see most of community, community, I see most of community, community Voice I know we talked community, community, community

I also see death and the search for meaning (voice blessed in the church service makes me nervous… O Lord why have you forsaken me?)

I voice a virulent vomit… My body melts into odd earth odd sly arrive unidentifiable wilderness I don’t know why I like horror – cosmic horror and body horror and this horror contorts my brain oddities. Catharsis? Sublimation of fear and anxiety? My skulls sprouts outward. (Write and explore more horror – impossible horror – my body uneven anteaters)

I search for death and I voice death

I Compose Imperfect Melodies

Melodies structure melodies: melodic stitch-stretch-sting sutured melodies     I straddle melody and melodies…
Melodies structure melodic strata: my skin stretch strata staircases skull thimble…
Melodies treble trouble tremolo melodies (The melody doesn’t come easy to me. I plagiarize melodies from hymns, blues, and folk songs. I plagiarize Modern Times and Love And Theft. Melodies structure plagiarized melodies into plunderphonic acid trips.)

I meander between melody body geology – between harmonic melody harmon mute melody plagiarized – between meander Between meander Meander geology Geode meander archaeology Archive. Archive. Archive.

I stretch my skin as strata, sediment soused sound… Sediment soused sound letters and scaled scale between meander. I stretch my skin archive meander meander melodies…
Meridian melody / middle melody
Melodic meander meanders
Between the oceanic between

Melodies stretch melodies skin structure
(Large – our echoes / large room silence)
Silence scrapes body sketch earth strata
Strata errata: erratic silence
Silence meanders soil sound around disturbed earth (disturbed earth insists on uneven slices)

I oxbow between body geology and body archaeology, and my meanders excavate Book skin. Book molts its serpent skin and emphasizes lydian and mixolydian scales. Scales spread their talons into my body and shake the arcade tokens out of me. Scales separate my skin from my skin bowed melody Book. I oxbow between body geology and body archaeology, and I suspend the sand of its unities.

Suspend silence between silence

I suspend and erase but its incessant geologies displace upward anew: new melody renewed. Geologies displace upward anew: new wilderness mixed melodies with the decapitated heads of werebears. I mix melodies with melodic liminal earth / human body between.

Whatever my body is, it is not silence.

I’ve been thinking recently about imperfection, says Asia. About how uncomfortable we are with it and how we have ruined ourselves casting it away. At this point, embracing human imperfection is a form of rebellion, she says. Very true, I say. Like that video you sent me – making bad art on purpose to overcome our fears, expectations, art paralysis, I say. It’s deeper than that even, says Asia. So many people don’t even try to be artists because it won’t be good so why bother, but we want to be perfect too. We want to be perfectly beautiful – all these years of photoshopped models and celebrities and focusing on body image. Now we have influencers and AI making art and we fall for it. Not everyone but I can’t help but think that making ourselves appear perfect and striving for perfection made room for something inhuman – to take our place. Even poetry, I think. It’s too clean, says Asia. What does imperfect or messy poetry look like to you? I say. Like Eating Poetry, says Asia. Beware Don’t Read This Poem. Like Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye. There is something wild or raw or like some essence compressed or a stone tumbled for awhile… Maybe that last analogy doesn’t work, but you don’t control the rock – you just get to buff it. There is poetry that is essence and human, and then there is poetry that was written to be consumed, says Asia.

Whatever my body is, it is not silence

I straddle melodies – silence Silence invades my bodies silent – make room room silence root
Room room silence remover
I straddle melodies overcome with stone I meander between recently our and poetry tumbled / meander about fear focusing I for imperfection

(Imperfect melody surrenders to silence)

I stretch my skin and silence stratified how art body too that uncomfortable paralysis Sediment soused art body too silent whirlpool

My creative imperfects fuck uppercut how my body too lives in uncomfortable paralysis. It’s awhile how uncomfortable I am with my imperfection / malformed Ben Body projects malformed Book Body – I work to accept that human rebellion.

I mix melody and melodies liminal earth human body between (between my bodies, Book arclength – Book there is essence compression and human to be compression – Book arclength underneath – between)

I mix melody mad melodies machine (her machine excavates an impossible earth her machine insists on exposes earth and exposed bodies) I mix melody geology and melody archaeology and I voice its melodies earth body / mix melodies a nonlinear succession of musical tones…

Silence mix mix imperfect room
(You don’t because it work but we are on purpose
to buff it there but you?)
Silence mix mad remix like a form of rebellion about imperfect and AI making on purpose to buff it

Melodies structure melodies without structure: imperfect melodies. How uncomfortable I am with imperfection but melodies – imperfect melody meander asymmetry or strange. Uncomfortable melodies sneak at think that video you don’t work but I beware
Think that making on body image
Now we want to be compression
And human the room for

Unstructured melodies meander imperfectly. Imperfect what fuck asymmetrical funk. Imperfection infects whatever melody and I noodle frail improvisations. I meander frail improvisations and I faster here my uncountable innumerable imperfections. Whatever around here there thistle there imperfect. I straddles melodies – wherever the word fails fail.


//
I straddle the melody and the molting scales of the Book between…

What to do with all this writing? What to do with with wall with all this writing? Figure it out later. Figure it out outward the imperfect word. The joy of writing anyways. Written other this this open brain. My fear of dementia. My fear of brain tumors. My imperfect brain knuckleball. This doesn’t have to make sense or cohere left open leaks through lights and pressure / zero pressure space (space between space melodic strategy). Geology follows up the guts body space imperfect. What almost beware (Why do I like the word Beware? What can I use besides beware? Nothing here. Empty language – nonsense language)

I straddle melodies between melodies but existence is not a predicate. Melody does not exist but imprints its residue on absence ghost absence. Existence dissipates in its mention (Benjamin dissipates in the mention of the name of Benjamin)
Ben – Son. Son disintegrates. Ben crucifixions
Last temptation of cross: Christ empties Christ same as Benjamin

I straddle melody between asymmetrical melody imperfect I dig into the melodic names neat dig razor outback outer darkness (outback steakhouse haunted horde)
My body twists somewhere around not here /
where to god or godness I’m not really here
I straddle melody souse melodic between (But one been thinking recently about imperfection. About how uncomfortable we one gift it and how we have humans augmented casting it away)

My body ends elsewhere where does a body end My body ends somewhat elsewhere (Something someone other than perfect: melody and human language messy human body)

My body melts into odd earth odd sly arrives (arrive unidentified flying object / my unidentified body builds oceanic ocean endless bodies)

(My own body – I fear my own body – my own body unidentified flying objects – ocean ocean – mess. Live in my mess – Book imperfections. Fear of the body fear of the Book – imperfections. Book thrombosis. At this learn / excrement hellishly habit – imperfection is a vast of rebellion.)

Melodies disappears in the imperfection of melody
//


Melodies structure melodies: structure structureless melodies

I mix melody geology and melody archaeology and I voice it melodies
Lyre eating poetry lyre lambent don’t read this poem lyre kindness
I voice melodies imperfect geology and bad art archaeology

I Straddle Melodies

I straddle melodies: straddle melodic geology and melodic archaeology 

Melodic archive stretches inward-outward and outward outlines. Melodic archive flattens library multidirectional and archive aggregates everywhere. I collect memorywork myth and nascent narrative. Archive rewrites narratives narratives doubled / myth shadow doppelgangers. The Book only serves as melodic archive and Book reinscribes archive-library onto Babel-Book. Book mixes melodies with melodies.

I straddle melodies / melodies melody geology – psychogeography – map strata-segments
Meander between body geology and geology body
Circumambulate body archaeology and meander historically-informed performances
Melodic body

I meander between my body geology and my body archaeology. I slow sketch scrape body in erotic earth strata. I sketch my skin and strata, sediment sounded with letter and scales. I molt scales serpent skin. I oxbow between body geology and body archaeology, and I suspend the sand with its underground unities.

What I Do Door Wonder

What I do door wonder 
Way I do door wander doing way
Way what we were wonder I am
Before Abraham I am what
I am where do door I wonder

What I wonder do this most
Mush more dense door wander
What I ray wry rayskin sun sell
Fifteen dollars an hour

Hours work why I do way
Hour glass wool dinner plate before Abraham

The god of Abraham Isaac and Jacob Too long I am before too long Abraham
I wonder the whale bone wander
What I wonder fifteen gods of

Door of wonder what I do