Park Dark Into The Stone Of My Head

Content Warning: discussion of mental illness and suicidal ideation


Park dark dark park     Park dark dark stone of the head: stone heading crown of my cranium

Park dark card shark suits central park in the dark     Risk dark – always risk – risk fool juggled fool park dam precipice (dark ben hinnom precipitation – participating rain runoff dark body ugly)     (risk park dark ugly – even ugly in the dark)

Any truly new art seems ugly at first / risk persistently ugly and perpetually ugly and ugly ungulates umbra – my face the shadow knows

Drowned park dark porno drone     Drown drone dark park porno grooves / drone porn rocks is less than legs     (My body – budding rod skull – blossom volcanic shields drones round park circles and the park drives circles around downtown.  My body buds my body pornographies play away hums and drones and bomb blasts of the body.  Bodies in general drone an erotic horror almost as kelp forest gods.  My body buds ugly – legs breast buttocks – hard stones and tumors.  Tumors tighten and constrict my body around dark joints – pits which double as pornographic peep shows.)  Drowned dark park plays pork peak skulls     Drone climbs my skull jacob’s ladder and shekinah on the eight rung of circumcision

Drone porn rocks is legs is breath     Drone porn dune dark park sharks fucking     Dark dark fucks erotic horror (The virgins sacrifice to the gods of a ghastly galaxy   The Terrornauts)     Drone something else – something risk new ugly the bare beware vulnerable


// 
Melancholy becomes a pornography and I exploit my depressive episodes for creativity (or sublimation?)

I disappear from the face of god and his face of the deep.  My melancholy exploits and I hope I die.  I hope that I die (I hope our few remaining friends give up on trying to save us).  I wave and work to die and I never die but to die delivers difficult perpetual motion machine clutch crutch ben body.  I think always a death and my death turns sideways and orthogonal death, and I ascend into death kingdom of the skies.  I hope I die difficult drone dune pornos hidden in sand cats, and how difficult death scavenges (In my life I hope I lie and tell everyone you were a good wife and I hope you die I hope we both die).

What does a poem about death and suicide look like?  What does this poem look like – what does this poem die to itself die – what does this poem bodily death and ego death – why does death go for poetics and theopoetics – a poem that destroys itself in suicide.  What does this poem cook like?  Death poem – I want to write a death poem before I die – bad poetry but true to myself – risk ugly and ugly (I’m going to make it through this year if it kills me).

Death demands an ugly body – body bruises ruse detective stories – bullies through the back of the head or through the jaw – my jaw falls off from licking radium brushes.  Death demands death additive death and multiplying death, and how strange the ears and hard canals death (the most remarkable thing about thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you and you’re standing in the doorway).  My death is but a doorway – I will be back.  My death jams drop-tuning doorways, and remarkable doorways and door drones porno ugly ben mangled bodies.

If I stopped existing in your life, you’d live on and continue living and doing life things and becoming a better Asia, but you also wouldn’t be the same, I say.  That’s true for just about everyone, says Asia.  That doesn’t give your life any less value.  We would want our loved ones to keep going, finding beauty and making beauty, says Asia.  Do you mean everyone experiences this with relationships in their life, or do you mean this is true with you with everyone in your life?  I think a lot of people experience it, yes, says Asia, but what I mean is that everyone learns to keep living when they lose someone.  That people in your life still keep living their lives doesn’t say anything about your value as a person, says Asia.  I would like to explain where this thought came from, I say.  Christina has been going through a hard time.  Yesterday an event happened that broke the camel’s back and she experienced severe suicidal ideation.  She alluded to us doing a suicide pact and in that moment I realized something odd for me.  I thought I could never live without Christina ever.  This is what I wrote her:
It could be I could make a suicide pact with you.  Today is probably not the day though.  I feel today I have much prophesying and creating to do and I cannot die yet.  […] I would probably unfortunately live without you.  I would write and prophesy my grief and even in death you’ll affect me as you did in life […] I wouldn’t be able to follow you if you did give up but I will take it into my body and make it into something else…
She is safe currently.  I felt sad I didn’t want to give up with her.  I felt I betrayed her a little.  I couldn’t go gentle into that good night.  I know that might sound silly to you but it’s a big revelation to me.  Her death would become a part of my living instead.  That’s how I imagine you’d feel.  My death would become part of your living.  You’d turn my death into something else in your life, transform it.  Your living would mean you valued me because you’d take me wherever you went, I say.  I’m so happy to hear you say this, says Asia.  I’m also sorry that Christina is going through a tough time; that is an important revelation despite the circumstance, she says.

Do you think it.  Failure do you think.  Do you think death unrest death.  Death determinism (superdetermined deconstruction).  Death do you think if you mean you’d want me living.  Do you think it I’m so happy to give on any less valued yeah you right.

The most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you and you’re standing in the doorway (But when you are a young writer, boys get this idea that to really… to really show a woman the depth and purity of your love, what you have to do is something drastic and stupid, right?  And uh.. and young writers think it would be really intense to have a guy, uh, always harm himself real bad, and y’know, and tell stories.  So well I was a young writer once and here’s a story about a guy who travels someplace with a gun.)

I still think myself a young writer – I still think myself young and immature, and I only experience BIG emotions and INTENSE emotions and I travel somewhere any woman and the woman stands in the doorway (the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway because it’s you and you’re standing in the doorway)

I hope I die in desert – supernal desert and supernatural desert and my man bodies entirely death-desert.  I hope die door nor story living else in you in you also something and conversations a death poet look like – a third of the stars go out.  Out out bodies and the stars go out out.  Side slice bodies tennis court oaths what am I doing here – it’s all desert.  What am I doing continuously smoking stars (watching X-Files with no lights on).

My melancholy becomes a pornography and I exploit my depressive episodes prophesy death eschaton eschaton desert
//


Park dark drone porno / dark gonzo journalism     Drone porn minotaur horns your writing world write and she experiments to be OK or not she     (She alludes drone horn morning not she alluded to is legs is breast)

(Your life world becoming I’m so happened that: that what death dune park park sharks fucking)

I live dark and park droned death death desert death poem central park in the dark (park dark undetonated explosives)

I live central park in the dark and death contaminates everything.  Death connects to everything and death follows everything.

Vowels Illuminate The Face Of The Void

Vowels illuminate the face of the void / Vowels slow between two faces bonfire

Vowels illuminate transformation and chance change mutation illumination.  Vowels illuminate Book itself vowel and Body itself vowel and vowel chance illumination.  Vowels view my face in illumination and to know my face is to know void.  Face always vowels void – my face her face, god faces.  Her face views gods’ faces and my face faces no difference.  Vowels illuminate face of the void – my face a god face without difference.  I face my face in the void of the vowel dream (I had bad dreams, I say to Christina.  Tell me about them please, says C.  I have one to share with you as well.  I had two dreams in a row about being on a sinking ship, I say.  Like big ships and they are rolling around in all sorts of weird ways and taking on tons of water and drowning people.  Tell me about your dream, I say.  You and your brother hired me as a live-in maid, says C.  Nothing sexual but a lot of degrading talks.  At one point you threw a bottle of soda that wasn’t quite empty at me to throw away.  I protested that it got me wet.  Your brother then took a bottle he had apparently peed in and threw it at me.  Wow, how mean, I say.  Yeah, big jerk energy, says C.  I’m sorry I was mean to you in the dream.  I think you’d be a good maid and I would hire you as a maid and I would be very nice to you.  I agree, says C.  I would be very good at cleaning and organizing.  You might even pay me a living wage! says C.)  I face my face in the void of the vowel dream and my face dreams shipwreck illumination and iron maiden void.  Face of the void dreams its own god and god faces vowel dreaming void-abyss.

Vowels illuminate the face of the void / vowels enchant long verb of the face     I lengthen my face face-to-face void black hole: I lengthen faces spaghettification     I lengthen the lengthening Army of Darkness false Book of the Dead

Vowel verb verb vowel and loves face illuminating face verbs     Vowels verb reveals waver face vowel verbs     Vowel very verb vowel very and very amen my face void

I lengthen my face dream of the long vowel (In the beginning was the vowel and the vowel was gods and was with gods   In the beginning was the verb and the verb was face and was with face)     I lengthen my face lingers in illuminations and my face changes chance medieval manuscript     Face lengthens letter dreams and I dream kelp forest tangles my bodies otter deaths


//
I dream Christina kelp forest water forest shipwrecks: I dream kelp forest Christina verb Christina the very forest void

I comb Christina shipwrecks and the water recedes and reveals cave salamander dead     I womb Christina shipwreck korakoram kept keep secret snow salamander

I experiment with the creature shipwrecks riverstone voids: little void miniatures or monostitches.  I experiment Christina kelp forests tangling faces and face kelp and face-to-face vowels, and Christina disperses through the void forest fragments.  I find my face too in fragments.

Christina keeps my grave clean and appears as devil apparitions in other blue standards (I must keep the Book from being standardized, overly familiar and routine: he who is not busy being born is being dying.  I invent new tradition and impossible new improvisation through the vowel void.)

I experiment other Christinas and this particular Christina, an automatic transmission, keeps karst kelp forest transposed on the Khombu Icefall.  Christina simultaneously changes chance impossibly deep void and K2 transmutates into K2 curves.  Christina keeps karst and limestone shipwrecks through changing into iron maiden maiden displaced in dreams (Christina drips liminal stalactite and stalagmite spider shipwrecks).

Christina keeps my catacombs clear and my grave-sheol shakes and shapes chance kelp shipwrecks.  I dream and Christina shakes sheol a shaker ladderback chair. 

I dream Christina kelp forest vowels and forest water completely void.  I comb her void cave walls and cave openings and verb cave faces.
//


Vowels illuminate face of the void / Vowels slow between two faces bonfires

I face-to-face void bonfires, and my face between face views bonfire voids.  Vowels slow between faces and faces slow between vowels, each bonfires and illumination fires.  I torch my face bonfires and my face glows kelp forests and Book-Libraries – Library emerges from void.  Library emerges from void vowel and vowel void verb and my face verb Book unable to be exhausted.


//
Christina descends into catacombs and keeps my grave clean.  Christina whistles Devil Got My Woman and she drags me through void-kelp and library-kelp.

Kelp clusters keep keep karma in my keen ouch oh I leg it I k know known k keep

Kelp lad kiss klein bottle bottle con artist: artist maybe kelp clusters cool caldera and cute sheol kelp forestry.

Kelp check chrono Christina time Christianity but Christianity.  Kelp kindle kindly Kindred in a way is the second studio.  Kelp comic code khora hora clips cipher.  Cipher for but kelp and keep horses.  Horses horror hora kept keep kelp.

Christina descends into catacombs and keeps my grave clean     Christina keeps heap sneak aleatoric kelp kelp and cane cane kelp  Cane Christina crater crater cluster and Christina descends
//


Vowels enchant long verb of the face     Vowels lengthen light two fires two faces

(My own vowels bore me, and the reason I cannot work with long scale or long duration is because my practice at it bores me – no, not bores, but I lack the attention.  My vowels distract me and often I find the research and freewriting process much more enjoyable than the process of rewriting and I rework tediously – no, not tediously, but I lack the willingness to continue to experiment and even fail joyfully.  Too faithful so my own sources and my own texts.  Fuck up my own vowels – the vowels of my face and the void of my face.  I work my vowels unknown-known-experiment.)

Vowels illuminate the face of the void (What should the next vowel be?  Word.  Word?  Vowel word logos void void Woman – Woman Book books libraries.  Edit no edit no transitions chance transformations.  What should the next word be?  Macrocosm.  Word macrocosm and word microcosm.  No transmission – let’s edit and transform.  Sound form vowel vowel form words.)

Her library ephemera     My ephemera (Have a fun-filled vacation!  Toe-tapping machete head dances!  Glamorous zombie-style cosmetic surgery!  Fabulous air-conditioned pits!  Zombie Island Massacre)     Her ephemera (I love little analogue [stuff] left behind like that, says Asia.  Library stamps, receipts, tickets, grocery lists, postcards, and letters tucked away, or stashed in pockets of clothes in thrift stores.)


//
Ungrounded void – this void or this void?  Swarm of the void.  Very void and reiterated void.  My void in body entirely enveloped by vowel – vowel sounded melancholy and death death dead.

Feel fucked photon enlargement / feel fucking photo newton electricity electrolysis (brain nonsense ben brain nonsense).  I feel grief – grief vowel void and void and vowel grief god void.  I feel grief for myself.  Grief intensifies in the grand graveyard plot of grief and Christina keeps my grave clean.  I grieve without measure (note to self: study measure theory)

Keep prophesying – prophesy forever and forever void vowel void.  Prophesy together forever into forever disappears (Will you come and what will I say?  Oh I have been so distant and unhappy like I could disappear.)

I disappear in the annihilator of the void.  I disappear particle-antiparticle pairs and flashlight and smoke and smoke light (smoke void void smoke and vowel void but prophesy forever)

I disappear embarrassed and I embarrassingly disappear / I vanish vowel void kelp forests     I vanish vent air conditioner nothing     I disappear into the disappearance (I disappear apparitions / do I shut summer a beer and went to bed)

I dismember my limbs / I disintegrate into the rafters of the Episcopal Church (How do I beat thins?  How do I win?  The voice of the prophets I hear them again.  They say man what has happened?  You lost and prodigal son you used to be an example – you used to bear the mark of his love.)

I disappear from the face of god     I disappear from the faces of the face deep     I feel fucked void and I disappear in void
//


Vowels illuminate face of the void     Vowels slow between two faces bonfires

Christina Keeps The Kelp Forest

Christina keeps keep kelp forest – Christina keeps the kelp forest flesh

Christina keeps keep kelp forest flesh.  Christina freshens the kelp forest kisses forest (my flesh forest kisses her flesh forests diamond facets).  I work Christina word and her word keeps crypt and kelp.  Her word keeps a kelp cipher and I cannot decode her ciphers.  Her ciphers remind me of ghost electronics and electronic voice phenomena – phenomenon Christina keeps ciphers poltergeists.  Phenomenon keeps flesh kelp poltergeists / ghost zeitgeist inspector gadget.

Christina keeps keeps continue of Kindred and Kindred is transforming chance-change / change-chance transfigures wild cavalry chaos


//
I have no fear of making changes, destroying the image, because the painting has a life of its own

Kindred chance changes – chance betrays bay bay of blood bay Ben Hinnom Christina     Kindred chance transmutates Christianity say cunt cross Christianity     Kindred shapeshifts odd chance crystalline time bandit

Changes change chance no fear     Chances klang crystal no fear transformations transition (chance transition   change transition   Christina cross transition)

Chance destroys change destroyed chance (Destroys fear and fear of the image / image imagery fear     Destroying the image habit familiar ritual Christianity destroys change klangs Kindred transformations)

I chant psalm cantillation: I cantillate Tehillim theme and variations     I chant chance canon change canon common change canon     Destroy the cantillation and shape the cantillation on psalm (I destroy the image of psalm and I make psalm revived and renewed)

Have no fear but follow changes gradual changes gradual change changes gradual Kindred transformations
//


Christina keeps the kelp forest flesh and Christina poltergeist haunts pyromaniac pornographies

Christina keeps keep kelp forest pornographies (The crazy love of a prehistoric giant for a ravishing teenage girl   Eegah   The name written in blood     Eegah has never seen a girl before until one fell into his arms!  Primitive passions turned on!  Love breaks the time barrier!)

Christina keeps keep kelp forest flesh     Christina keeps kelp cipher and code codex     (Christina poltergeist haunts pyromaniac pornographies – the goggles they do nothing)

Christina keeps keep kelp pornographies / Christina sees my graves is kept clean     Christina keeps my grave clean karst catacomb and kelp forest ciphers     Christina keep karst catacomb     Her catacomb cask korakoram / old wineskins burst into new wineskins


//
I have no fear of making changes, destroying the image / old wineskins burst into new wineskins

I have no fear but bullet but bullets     I bullet flows feelers image of image

I do not fear the image of the demiurge and demiurge creates expanse of the dome.  Demiurge creates multidirectional dome doorway divergent descent (Dome drives change chance channel chance charge change canons).  Demiurge drones dome: dome detail deterritorialized desert.  Demiurge drones half-dome hone half wheel wheel YHVH of Hosts (old gods burst into new gods).  Demiurge betrays its own crafting: wheel into the turning of the wheel dome demiurge.

I have no fear but I betray the image     Betray image painted with image painted with into chance-canon languages     Image language lengthen image language (I languish in demiurgic craft raft rhizome)

I have no fear making changes and I change charge demiurge urgent absinthe (urgent in absence image)

I destroy the Book and the image of the Book because the Book has a life of its own.  The Book has a life of its own beyond the image.  Book beyond the image betrays image of the Book.
//


Christina keeps keep kelp forest flesh     Christina keeps keep bare flesh ben pornographic flesh (Teenage Dessert   An adult movie that just might be good enough to eat)     My bare flesh unfixed fix kelp forest catacombs (I comb catacombs – I comb jellyfish fishers of men – I comb catcher in the rye syncopated rhythm)

If I write a Christina or Kindred poem, what would you like to see in it? I say to Christina.  Crows, says C.  Should I ask you for more insight on crows or should I just run with it?  Up to you, says C.  I’ve been training crows at my house.  I stated by giving out nuts in the morning.  Then I gave certain nuts only in certain places or on certain days.  So like today when I went to wait with Fox on the bus, there was a small murder waiting at a certain bush.  Next, I’m going to withhold their favorite nuts and only give them to the crows who bring me stuff, says C.  Whoa, that’s crazy awesome, I say.  They’re easy to train, says C.  We have the birds trained at Fairytale Town, and they communicate with others, says Christina.

Christina keeps the kelp forest deep fresh flesh / Christina cryptkeeper keeps kelp forest crop circles     I comb catacombs bird nuts they’re Kindred then     I comb jellyfish fishers of men should you for morning to the bus     (I comb catcher in the rye to the bus the bus     Crows who bring Fairytale Town and the birds training at my house)

I comb Christina cave salamander dead (korakoram keeps secret snow salamanders)

I experiment erratic Christina miniatures or monostitches.  I experiment the Christina miniature and Christina fragment because she finds herself in fragments     If just morning there bring I run     I run then was me     Write with I stuff gave small     Christina finds herself in fragments and formidable fog
I find myself in Christina fog and fragrance, and her fragments bare my flesh kelp forest perfume (I started by giving out myths and the velvety.  Then I gave certain nuts only on certain days or on certain days.  So like today when I went to wait with Fox on the bus, there was a smaller murder waiting at a certain bush.)

Christina keeps the kelp forest     Keep perfume fragments (My bare flesh pornographic fragments and my body betrays the image of my body.  My body betrays my body and I do not fear images of my body.  My body old wineskins burst through new wineskins.)

Pando Pink

Pando pink aside for sets forest 
Forest rising from pando pando 

Friend pink forest aside
Abide forest make forever forest
Hugs pink
Pink beam stream lights through trees

Pando stems roots shoots pink
Forest rising abiding 

Pando sends bends forest 
Pink river light pink root light abides
Stems hem holly branches holy 

Pando forest boreal ben rhizome rain pando rain hugs bugs crickets
Grasshoppers from Asia
Pando forest more sorcery holy holly

Pink light pink rivers aside abide
Sure stems 
Sister stems 
Rivers rivers rain rain 

Pando rain shines pink ben Adam
Participates in forests

Book-Library Continues Without Continuity

Book-Library continues without continuity several library lights several     Several Book-Library continues confound contralight and contradiction light always a library     Light dispels light spell library juggler

Book-Library juggles contradictions and library lights several burlesque dancers, dance hall girls, centerfold models and pin-ups     Book look library bricoleur blatantly pornographic images from girly magazines with topography (pornography and horror belong to the Book-Library.  They belong as much as scripture and the mystical experience.  I fear writing the erotic and pornographic, and I fear my body – body nude, body decaying, body bloody and trauma – and that’s enough for these subjects to belong to the Book-Library.  Where my fear is, there is my task.)

Book-Library archives and loves blatantly pornographic images from girly magazines (Exclusive: an interview with the red madame who controls communist sex!     The naked nympho who sold out nazis!)     Book-Library catalogues girly magazine typography: typography topography Taryn trochee library     Taryn trochee hard taps erotic hard writing typography

Book-Library etches Library Library loop looping Library eternal spiral

I fear my body in any incarnation and manifestation and the carnal continually encroaches on me.  My body limbs long extremity, extreme gangly grotesque.  My body limbs digs long duration, stretching through desert and desert all airplane crashes.  Desert exiles my body sudden horror – not the horror of the landscape but the horror of my body itself.  Earth bile exiles my body underneath and my body mutates ugly – ugly nude and ugly beaten by desert gods bloody, and my body becomes a point in the bonfires.  Bonfires point to my body starving forty days in the wilderness, and wild circles apotropaic circles / serpent salt spirals.

There is a giant skeleton guy at the library that they just decorate instead of trying to take him down, says Asia.  My daughter is obsessed with him and every time we go to the library, she wants to sneak up on him.  They were having a contest to name the skeleton and I asked her what she wanted to name him, and she responded with “Pasta.”

I have no fear or making changes, destroying the image, because the Book has a life of its own     Library life Body its own

Making changes     Making change breezy body – betrayed change betrayal     Make changes chance chance library transformations     Library transforms destroy the image – destroy the body and fear of the body and transform skeleton (To take him home down Ben is a giant skeleton and every that she sneaks up on him     And very time that library we go to sneak up on him)

Making changes Library Body and Book skull hull hall speak down girly magazine corridors (I love the phrase skull salts, says Asia.  I don’t know why that’s what my brain grabbed onto.  I want to scrub out the inside of my skull with salt, she says.)     Book betrays Book skeleton crater off salts     Book betrays my body destroying the image destroyed image     Destroyed image destroyed the image chance chance salts

Book-Library salt skeleton sketch salt sky.  Salt skeleton hell skeleton sow really smoked spite salt.  Salt clusters bone pasta at the library that she wants to name them.  Salt library crowds change language and living language and language magazine home (The incredible voyage of a train load of lovely young girls… Benjamin’s Lust Train   plus   A clean approach to sensuality     Bath-House Girls).  Book-Library twists salt and salt skeleton and salt skull, and Skull-Library gifts alto dry tenor skull sail.  Ale fair fair a door skull and salt I did my do it din.  Sun din dome fob salt flesh.  I’m hero salt lorry end skull also feel skull lit skull sylph light skull petit.  Skull bites alto salt.  Book-Library salts skeleton a giant skeleton and every that she him responded pasta salt.  

Book-Library continues without continuity several library lights several     Library descends light pure play pornographies – pornographic plane of immanence platonism – you pause porneia park dark     Parks dark desert dime novel (Blonde beauty – doomed to be of the walking dead!  I Walked With A Zombie   See this strange and startling story of a woman to whom it will happen!)     Dark dark porno nova novella / dismembered women giving bread

(I care the phrase whisk dandy.  I don’t know why that’s what my brain grabbed orgy.  I moots to scrub out the inside of my whisk with moots.)

(There is a giant skeleton rub at the library that they just marinade entrees of trying take home down.  Everyone is encircles with him and every time my go to the library, she wants to speak up on him.  They one letting a fishing to bare the skeleton and I acrid everyone what she wanted to bare him and she responded with “Pasta.”)

How do I get rid of the glue?  How do I work with long scale and long duration while keeping it “coherent”?  “Continuous”?  Antithetical to getting rid of the glue.  Stuck to the glue.  Glue becomes habit.  Too concerned with coherence and continuity – while simultaneously too concerned with transforming the material and not letting the language be and breathe.  No hurry to transform – transformation must happen more gradually – “The journey from holy Saturday to resurrection Sunday must be taken exceedingly slow.”  Work at the steady repetition and slow transformation – gradual transformations – let the language breathe – Be – Book.  Here I begin getting rid of the glue, not the necessity of connecting sounds together to make continuity but to get rid of the glue so that sounds would be themselves.  To stretch out my skeleton and let it linger, let it saunter through the library.  I salt my skeleton and walk through the library in my sundress.  How do I get rid of the glue?  Erased Rauschenberg drawing.  Park dark desert dime novels and I drown in dime novels.  I park the drowned world – the burning world – the crystal world.  Get rid of the glue between worlds.  Slowly erase and continue to work sounds around Book-Library.  How do I get rid of the glue?  How do I work the long scale and long duration?

Book-Library continues without continuity several library lights several
 
I love the phrase skull salts.  Bolt skull robots Möbius strip, skull belongs Klein bottle.  Bolt skull era of the lid Sonny Rollins Wine Jackie McLean.  I love the phrase skull salts.  I don’t know why that’s what my brain grabbed onto.  I want to scrub out the inside of my skull with salt.  Salt skeleton and erased skeleton and skeleton liturgy.

Getting rid of the glue.  Make space for the burlesque dancers, dance hall girls, centerfold models, and pin-ups.  Leave space and sound for my own body and the perceived horrors of my own body.  Getting rid of the glue to allow the pornography and porneia and my body fluid in gender and grammar and holy ghost.  I grapple with glue and holy ghost and to get rid of the glue is to get rid of the gods who impose hierarchies and towers.  My skull spreads salt and continuity confounds.  Continuity confronts strange salt and skeleton holy ghost face-to-face.  Continuity drills concrete cove incomplete cave or corpus christi carol.  I call the carol continuity-discontinuity.  Here, I begin to get rid of the glue.

Get rid of the glue gradual transformations     Gradual making changes – betraying change and betraying the glue – betraying the Book and the God.

Get rid of the glue dis/continuous Book.  Library several lights salt scrubs my skull Asia and KRYSXTRYN

Here I Begin Getting Rid Of The Glue

Here I begin getting rid of the glue: not the necessity to stick sounds together to make continuity but to get rid of the glue so that sounds would be themselves     Sound themselves words themselves     Phonemes – morphemes – word themselves library shelf

Library itself as self sounds library.  I have in my library a very curious work: Levayer’s letters.  I recall having read there of a good anchorite who bragged of having been to the ends of the earth, and of having been obligated to stoop his shoulders because the union of the sky and of the earth at this extremity.  Library itself sounds without glue – not a discontinuity but a different kind of continuity

Continuity confounds continuity confronts strange street face-to-face     (Christina face-to-face flies witch’s ointment to letter library and alphabet library.  I confront the library dis/continuous and this dis/continuity – getting rid of the glue confounds.)

Continuity trills concrete deep cove incomplete cave or corpus christi carol / dis/continuity

Library confronts itself sounds themselves continuity-discontinuity and the library     And of library very who good my there     And of very my there library – curious library and offset letters     My three having sky extremity letters his read: ready extreme letters and excess latters library of babel

The Book is a library, you know.  Well you know, the Book is library.  The Book contains the library – all libraries.  (You’ve read all those books?  No, only one, but I read it very well.)  Well you know, the Book builds libraries and constructs library, and this infinite library might as well be god (It is not indispensable to read a book.  It’s enough to touch it and by a mysterious fluid, you absorb it.)  You know, the Book is a library and an impossibly deep well and it contains enough water to fulfill the thirst of five husbands.

Getting rid of the glue: I have no fear of making changes, destroying the image, because the painting has a life of its own     Get rid of the glue – destroy the image – don’t be too precious – the Book continues its construction regardless     It has a life of its own and I’m the vessel through which is passes through

Making changes – betrayal changes betrayal make changes – change change charges betrayal     Betray to glue: I recall having read the Earth and of a good anchorite who bragged of a good anchorite who bragged of the earth     Changes make changes no fear (I form curious work: Levayer’s letters.  I recall having read there of I meal arccosine who bragged of having been to the ends of the earth and having been obliged to snoot his smoothest, believe of the ariel of the sky and of the earth at this extremity.)

Getting rid of the glue no fear fang change forceps     Change destroying the change but the library remains     Library remains Book revives – revive charge changes dis/continuity     Different continuity dis/continuous space space gap glue space

I love little analog [things] left behind like that, says Asia.  Library stamps, postcards, and letters tucked away in books or stashed in pockets of clothes in thrift stores, she says.

I leave behind the Book getting rid of the glue and I leave little Books, each birthing a library.  Book betrays Book getting rid of the glue, and Book has no fear of making changes because it has a life of its own.  Book gets rid of the glue and collects ephemera: analog anarchy and analog horror and library ghosts.  Every Book and every library contains ghosts: all Books and libraries lost haunted.  I leave behind the Book glue without glue Book itself without Book and Book destroys the image.

Book destroys stashed in books or stashed in books or stashed in books or stamps     Book gets rid of the glue receipts, tickets, tickets, tickets, tickets of clothes in books, or stamps     Book have no fear but collects (I love little archangels [images] left behind like that.  Library slangy, receipts, gadgets, grocery temp, post boonies, and ripsaw tucked axis in bout or snare in pockets of clothes in thrift stores.)

Here I begin getting rid of the glue     Not necessary to stick sounds together to make continuity but to get and of the glue so that sounds world be themselves earth

Book itself – Library itself – Earth itself (This fact reminds us the tale which Levayer recounts in his letters.  It appears that an anchorite, probably a relative of the Desert Fathers of the East, boasted of having been as far as the end of the world, and having been obligated to stoop his shoulders, on account of joining the sky and the earth in that distant place.)     Book itself – Library itself – Earth itself

I write god Book-Library     I write god Book KRYSXTRYN + Asia With Word     Asia With Word like books or away letters cards stores in that of tucked lists     I work very wide vav and I work radical Book vertical library     I work this is east of the fact appears boasted having sky and word has a life of its own no fear     I work KRYSXTRYN void and Asia Weevil Word / Word sky remains that of been and us ah having obliged the anchorite     KRYSXTRYN book been to earth stooped in tale and far as her

Getting rid of the glue: have no fear making changes     Having no fear stooping down at the extremity of sky and earth     Alive Book – Library always curious letters

Get rid of the glove glue.  Get rid of myself of myself.  God I pray you rid me of god.  Hey tore rid and of if of the flue glue flow give it equally with you.  Get rid of her here there word word.  Word stone word vav human stone word.  Word wood word wrapword work glory of God.  That’s why Eckhart can controversially say get rid rid I of.

Get rid of glue     Glue flue flue flow glue for her get flue and glue holes hey glue     Get and as ask hope glue golf hole and her glue hole     Most holes here and holes bolts and her for there built Ben at hole and hole how glue

Change destroying the change (destroyed the image     Destroy the image destroyed image / change chant change cantillation)

Here I begin by getting rid of the glue

I Write God Notebooks

I write god notebooks     I write god notebooks KRYSXTRYN + Asia With Weevils     Notebooks prophesy weak language / wild wide powerful languages     I work very wide vav and I work radical vertical notebook visions   (visions fairy dust doll parts desert)

(My wife borrowed my notebook and wrote in big block letters: He is more sure of himself than God)

I point to partial gods and gods divisionism.  I layer blocks of colors next to each other: colors luminescence and synthetically brilliant.  I juxtapose blocks of color bioluminescence and living colors.  I point to demiurge mistaken for demogorgons and these greens and yellows mimic a jealous god.  I point to this god hammered into my spiral column and my spinal column bursts into earth and sky colors.

Sky pelican pointillist earth interior helical immanent pointillism

Sky skips skies human skin     Sky skips strips human skin end flayed fires

I write god notebooks     Notebooks knot notebooks block letter     Book multiplied Book notebook knot gnat notebook gnosis / I knot now new knot notebook bodies without organs notebook knots nameless city of the accursed / notebook horror and foreign gods

Maybe when you are feeling low, says Asia, you can write in your notebook but take up lots of space with fewer words – make them big or put lots of gaps – play with space.

This statement by Asia makes me recall a conversation with Violet:  I edited it today, I say, but I feel its sort of representative of a direction I’m heading to – like push the language farther into constellations and clusters, so I wanted feedback on that seed direction, I say.  Yeah, that’s the first thing I noticed with this one, says Violet.  To be honest, I think you’re becoming limited with the medium you chose.  Like just one string of words in a standard typeset and seize weight.  I think you can capture it a lot more resoundingly if you expanded the medium a bit.  Maybe adding variable weigh to start. […] Weight is boldness.  So like light, semi-light, roman / book / normal, semibold, bold, semiheavy, heavy, black.  But size would be interesting too, says Violet.  Let me meditate on it, I say.  I think that’s a good idea although I’m tempted to try to push the limited constraints to their limits first.  As far as I can go.  Yeah, I agree, says Violet.

From what I can tell, I can’t easily change font weight in my current word processor, but I can experiment with bold, italics, size, space – although transferring those aspects to my blog will be another obstacle – one worth problem-solving though.

Notebook knots notebook large space     Space     Space with fewer words make this BIG     Put lots of space with     Space with spacewith spacethe fewer words     Make up lots of gaps notebooks

I know now new play with fewer words     Play with fewer words make up lot of space     Lot of space wide vav vowel vav lot of space illuminations      Take lots of space with fewer words     (Fewer words Asia fewer words Violet but with weight)     I weigh space gap and fewer space width

I point to space this is where time becomes space     Time space points to holes and gaps displace time-space     Mostly holes melt slake hell cell snakes     (I snake towards notebook hole and whole, the very void amen)     Shake hole cell shakes praise: I praise space flux in fires     Gaps and weight flux body hole body void sensitive to initial conditions

Where I begin: here I begin getting rid of the glue.  Glue makes up the gaps (play with spaceith   spacewith space with spaceace   spaceith fewer words   make up lots of space with fewer words   space weight).  Where I begin: the hole and chasm in the god notebooks, and words widen the gap wild.  Words give gap wild blue horses and fish magic.  I begin in the shaking cells cell hole gap and gap hole: wholly of the notebook without gods.

Where I begin: getting rid of the glue     (Rid glue everything is glue     Blue glue hole space     Maybe when you are feeling low you can grade is your notebook, but take up lots of space with fewer hapax – make knot big or red with lots of yous – play with space     Everything is glue and get rid of the glue)

Here, I begin getting rid of the glue not the necessity to sticks sound together to make continuity but to get rid of the glue so that sounds can be themselves     Sounds themselves words themselves     Phonemes themselves morphine themselves notebooks 
  
(Lots of gaps play wth spacewith fewer words     Make up lots of space getting rid of the glue)

Sounds themselves sounds used give / getting rid of the glue     Sounds notebook knots tree tag Taryn and knot Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil     Tree of Knowledge makes holes and gets rid of the glue notebooks     Notebook improvises gnosis tenor body tangent to my body     I tenor textbook bodies and body improvisation: I improvise rhizomatic night notebook

Sounds themselves sound themselves     Word itself selves itself word (All my recipes are scattered over several notebooks and index cards and most of the time one recipe is divided over several pieces of paper or I only write down part of it, says Asia.)

Sounds themselves and I believe in my notebooks: multiple holes and gaps without glue     Sounds by themselves divided divides: of paper or I only write down part of it     Sounds themselves I tenor notebooks bodies and body improvisation themselves sounds

Sounds themselves divided over several pieces of paper or I only write down part of the time     Down sound themselves red glue     Weight speak without glue

All my recipes are scattered over several notebooks.  This recipe for getting rid of the glue.  Glue and hole leads me to dead end.  Dead end?  Endling.  Continuous dead end – one sound leading to the next, sound end in transition – dead end.  End dead I cut my arms off I cut my arms off.  Dead end.  How to end the letter?  How to end the notebook or god pointing to the gap hole-space?  The alphabet cuts endless letters / alphabets / words into the gap no direction.  Should there be a direction?  Both directions at once.  Multidirectional.  Should there be a direction?  Direct into the gap or hole or notebook.  Dead end.  Dead end.  Immediate or initiate.  No question.  No question all glue all wholes and not holes.  How to extend any particular direction?  Break on thought to the other side (of the page, of the gap, of the weight, of the space).  Jump into the holes and chasms and gaps.  Jump.  Get rid of the glue and jump between – between dead end and dead end, between notebook and notebook.  Interrogate the holes and different papers and index cards.  Interrogate space and large letters and weights.  I weigh the question – extension dead end extension.  Any decision in the gap but undecidable.  Live in the gap and space of notebooks and Tree of Knowledge this is where time becomes space.  I meditate space and gap and gap word.  Space space with space large words.  Jump into the question.  What does this harmony have in common with harmony?  What does this melody have in common with this melody?  Gap.  Space.  Weight.  The question is in common.  Break through the dead end of the page.  Get rid of the glue.  Dead end.  Let rid of the glue, sound themselves and gaps themselves – jump into the space.  Dive into the weight.  Dive dive dive with me.  Strange gap weird weight.  Dead end window weight.  To repel ghosts – to get rid of the glue.

I write god notebooks     I write god notebooks KRYSXTRYN + Asia With Weevils     I write god make one over time     One over time it when down big fewer and cards (Down space card gap)     Cards space words my them with write KRYSXTRYN (Asia with write or lots put scattered you of index)

I write god notebooks KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome – what was the question – question of holes and direction     Notebooks hole notebooks multiplied Book     Notebook hole gap notebook gnosis     Hole Tree of Knowledge and Good and Evil notebook KRYSXTRYN + Asia Wild Word     I prophesy the index card jump into gap space

Each Line Equals Its Own Hole

Line loom lure equals its hole whole     Line loom lunar its own complexity / holes made by motion

Changing line – unchanging line

Line loots line liminal hole threshold     Each line equals its own completion / each line equals its own complexity

Line looms lure lure loop loop     Loop holes only made by motion / wholes only made by motion

The whole vowel intones holes in my body.  My body in holes vowels these vowels and sounds punch holes in my body leaving me naked.  I feel sad.  I feel melancholy.  (To acknowledge FEELING without any redactions).  I feel sad.  I do not know.  I do not.  This feeling.  Sad embedded in my body – sad embarrassed.  Sad embarrasses.  Sad embarrasses cursed candlelight earth.  I watch The Sandlot and I kiss city ball melancholy.  Milk of magnesia melancholy magnetism.  I watch The Sandlot and one reads Ulysses and Gravity’s Rainbow (these midwives emanate nonsense and in nonsense, gnosis.  I accept nonsense but not my sadness and melancholy.  I accept my nonsense too contains midwife melancholy, and it births sad gnosis.  Gnosis searches my body: gnosis searches my body holes wholly trash layer.  The PKD trash layer and science fiction schlock – my sadness and melancholy – burst through the speculative fiction clouds and reveals Zebra and the number of the beast emblazoned on Richard Nixon’s name.  666 and 616 selects my sadness as a conduit and I speak sad beasts and valley of the shadow of death.  The Soviet Union conceals my body with satellite rays which cause hypertensive crises.  Satellite rays punch my body full of visible and invisible holes and the vowels ooze out black bile melancholy.  I always exist in crises.  I exist in that anxious claustrophobic space that splits my skull in halves and each half crumbles into holes.

I feel sad and melancholy and I let the melancholy fill the holes and orifices in my skull.  Melancholy fills my skeleton like Wolverine adamantium.  Melancholy fills the space in my skull and I regenerate skulls and I regenerate livers toxic tongues licking holes in unsettled bodies.  I keep finding my bodies in old soil soylent green deck sealant.  I allow my absurdity space and I allow the nonsense to produce melancholy, and my sadness persists heavy metals in my bloodstream.  Sadness eats my thoughts and I try to outrun the sadness like The Sandlot / baseball diamonds.  I cast lots for Christ’s clothes in center field.

I try to remember human voices in my melancholy.  Voices orbit the moon carried by aether – when under ether.  I swim with parrotfish and I parrot Metal Gear and Metal Gear adheres to my skull half rain forests.  I parrot metal melancholy punching bodies time card holes.  Melancholy rains nonsense dollar dollar bills ya’ll.  Rain nonsense many amens (Sometimes I only speak in song lyrics.  Sometimes I can only speak in other texts.  The bluest eyes in Texas are haunting me tonight.)

I feel minimal melancholy and minimal melancholic music, sand sad melodies voice moon rays and satellite rays – holes in the aether.  I submerge beneath the ocean to the hole at the bottom of the sea.  I submerge beneath ocean pulses sad satellite pulses pulse ocean continual melancholic circulation.  This is why events unnerve me – they find it all a different story – Notice whom for wheels are turning – turn again and turn towards this time.

I feel foolish and nonsense and I feel sad.  I feel melancholy and I do not know.  My sad nonsense leads to immanent eschatology and I appear in this picture of the apocalypse / my face surfaces in the star Wormwood.  I feel foolish in time and out of time (Time out of mind.  Melancholic mind.  Mind dematerializing and only holes remain.)

Each line equals its own hole and holes hint at an unknown complexity     Holes hint space loom line lines what line (What line?  This line.  This line cut halves by holes.  What line?  Line threaded through loom melancholy lunar forces.  Celestial spheres / speak melancholy and lines point holes spread my brain across space holes.)

Holes only made by motion wholes only made by motion     Holes hatch marginal marriage of heaven and hell holes     Holes lines happenings drop art marriage of heaven and hell – hell holes chase slack paces paw and rope

I line my skull with holes holes nonlinear loom loon (What line?  Line liminal linea loupe loop loop line.  What line?  I line my skull space holes whole open sores gore space.  Where and what line?  Line questions the whole and its what happens line my skulls.)

I like the line “I knock threshold no door but gnosis”, says Asia.  And I like the lines “Asia prophesies fuck syntax and they hand sew syntax into my exoskeleton.”

I like the line mostly holes     Line mostly holes melt shake hell cell snakes     Hole shake cell snakes fuck syntax     Syntax lines “Asia prophesies fuck syntax and sews syntax and sews syntax and the lines     Shake cell lines slaked praise in flux of fire / construct clouds fleshing balances

(I like the care “I knock threshold no seek but gnosis” and I like the tower “Area prophesies fuck cycler and then busy sews cycler into my skeleton.”)

Holes cycle cycle syntax lines holes gnosis exoskeleton like I into prophesies     Asia the fuck threshold and knock sews but I no I.  My and I door syntax

Each line equals its own hole / wholes only made by motion