Asia Among Rivers nomads maps maps mirror rhizome maps

Asia Among Rivers nomad river maps: I see rivers     I seer maps and rivers     I seer map rivers and nomadic prophecy

I see rivers and seer rivers: I see the body of the rivers.  I seer rivers and the body of the rivers map boiling bodies  (Ben bodies boil elephant skulls and skull of Christ.  Golgotha turns god gears coin defleshed no tail but Tetragrammaton).  I see rivers and I seer the river of the body – no tail and no sail but crucifies clipper ship stations of the cross.

Asia Among Rivers nomad nomads maps nameless maps river names     River drinks dam dirge Book desert sludge (human sludge meets earth river of the Book and Book rushed rivers rivering maps)     River drinks sludge slinky sew human skin

My humanity empties rivers and river skin.  My humanity sloughs river sludge and the river skin sews human maps anew.  I glue together rivers.  I knot the rivers into human knots.

Asia Among Rivers nomad knot maps and knitted maps     Her rivers knot future nets fingernail nylon

Today one of the teachers was telling me how the autistic student was having a bad day and that he just wanted to go outside and feel the rain on his face, says Asia.  That makes sense to me, I say.  Rain makes better.  Sometimes it feels like I’m trudging through poetry, says Asia.  There is something poetic about a kid grinding everything to a standstill because he wants to feel the rain.  There is something poetic about a kid leaving an unfinished letter to no one apologizing to god.  It’s also painful but it’s a pain a lot of us know, she says.  That’s true, I say.  I started writing poetry because I felt a pain within me that I could not find in the outside world.  I couldn’t find it in song lyrics, so I started writing poetry to express that interior pain I felt, I say.  The world is painful but we don’t have to be, says Asia.

I go outside and I feel the rain on my face

Go outside facing rain rain face     Go outside facing rain many rivers     Outside face rain Asia Among Rivers map nomadic Asia Among Rivers

I’m god of the find to painful poetry (I go outside and I feel the rain on my face)     Sometimes one song feels face like apologizing (I go outside and I seer rivers and her rivers)     We would something be to writing want everything (The world is painful but we don’t have to be)

Asia Among Rivers nomad mad maps map riptide rhizomes     Her rivers knit my body knots in knots (chalkboard bantam hunger body: body basketweave thumbprint whorl)

My body weaves rivers and my body weaves rivers.  My body basketweaves rivers and my body basetweaves rivers.  My body rushes rivers sea of reeds and reeds knit and knot the renewed human body.  My body weaves river word and wild rivers.  I seer rivers and I go outside and dip my faces in rivers.

Asia Among Rivers remembers river maps and reinscribes maps with river words     Asia Among Rivers reinscribe my body with mapped word river     I print body ink haste hunger river room     River futures knit hanging man / hanging human one

//
River reveals grief: this narrative tells the death of a woman and it is ordered onto the meanest level of reality by grieving… Suffering mind, being now alone, does not wish to forget her.

River reveals grief and it tells the narrative of a woman: the narrative of Christina

An email from Christina dated from September, 22 years ago:  
Ben, I’m sorry for being such a jerk tonight.  I wasn’t really listening to you and I’m sorry.  Athenna was over and we were being really stupid.  Anyway… I need to talk to you.  I think I’ll call you tomorrow.  Anyway… Just wanted to say sorry, I really do love you and I’m just falling on bad times right now.  I’m really scared and I don’t want to leave and everything is getting really stressful.  But it’s not an excuse to be mean to you.  So I’m sorry.  I hope you forgive me.  (Christina)

Of course I forgave Christina: I always forgive Christina.  Christina could kill me and I would forgive her Book Blood and Ben Bloody Body.  I don’t remember the incident Christina referred to and I don’t know why I saved this email except for the fact she says “I really do love you.”  I cherish Christina’s “I love you” and the “I love you” in general and only Christina indulges in saying it to me.  My other friends, although they love me to the same degree that I love them, do not say “I love you” or rarely.  Taryn sometimes tells me; Krystal will say “Ditto” or “Me too.”  Asia and I use “unconditional care” although sometimes we say “unconditional love” – they mean the same thing for us.  But I often saved documents where Christina said she loved me and I recorded it in the Book.

River reveals grief memory and grief archive     I remember rivers and rivers revelations and grief engraves apocalypses     Grief inscribes and reinscribes Christina apocalypses

River reveals grief and it tells the narrative of the woman: the narrative of Christina
//

Asia Among rivers nomads maps human rhizome maps     River future feelers heterogeneous game god hangers    Hangers have margins machine marginal machine margin margarine molotov mirror mixed river time     Mirrors mixed rivers time time and the river (echoes of time and the river)

I always experience time and I always experiment time.  I always experience time many durations at once and simultaneous times.  I experiment time entwined with story and narrative, and I tell the story within time and without time.  I follow time through rivers (today there a outside was day).  Today a outside day no telling rain it’s rain something unfinished (I go outside facing time and the river). 

Among rivers, I cast the net

Among rivers, outside I cast the net facing rains (Haunted by a lovely face… Haunted for an other’s crime!)

Among rivers, I cast the net into the future (A man!  Trying to run away from his past!  A woman!  Trying to escape her future!)

I cast the net work watchmen writer medicine     I cast the net medium black mass lap dance Taryn lightning     I cast the net net now no units     I cast the net non net net no op art (ben clam body optical illusion bunker buster mollusks)     I cast the net mollusk masquerade mixed multitudes weevil travel     I cast the net word weevil travel taryn lighting’s lap dance     I cast last light and the last net new lights: new light body apocalypse curve a face (I go outside and feel the rain on my face)

The conversation with Asia about saying “I love you” from a little over 3 years ago:
Bear with me because you might think this is dumb and I’m going to take a long time to explain it, I say.  I was talking to Taryn, and I said to her, I told my friend Asia that I loved her and she didn’t respond back.  Taryn said, She’s the one you’re writing the Book for?  What’s your relationship like?  Close?  Pretty close I think, I said.  I insulted her when I implied our friendship was more important to me than to her.  Close like me and you? said Taryn.  I think so.  She supports my prophecy and writing.  And she said nothing?  Ask her then, said Taryn.  So that’s a long winded way of asking you about it.  Do you love me?  Do you feel uncomfortable saying it?  Etc.  In any case I feel embarrassed asking so I hope you’re understanding, I say.  I honestly freak out a little when you say it because it means different things to different people and to respond means I’m agreeing to your definition, says Asia.  I’m sorry, I don’t mean to freak you out, I say.  So when I say I love you, I mean the love of agape.  Unconditional love, when Paul says, love is patient, love is kind, love does not boast, etc.  I also think it’s the love when Jesus says, There is no greater love than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.  So when I say I love you very much, I mean I love you unconditionally and I would lay down my life for you […] positively, I live my life with you, I say.  Oh OK, says Asia.  I still might not be comfortable saying it back, she says.  Our definitions of love don’t match up? I say.  That’s not it, says Asia.  I didn’t know what your definition of love was previously and I have been in several occasions where someone has used that word against me to manipulate me, says Asia.  I see, I say.  Is that why you’d feel uncomfortable saying it, because of that history of manipulation?  Yes.  That makes sense, I say.  Can I at least ask you if you love me in that sense?  Yes, says Asia.  I love all my friends like that, she says.

I love Asia unconditionally and Asia loves me unconditionally, and I’m grateful for my friendship with her.  Christina’s absence has strengthened my friendship with Asia – that’s at least one good thing that happened from Christina’s absence.  I miss Christina but Asia’s support eases some difficulties.  She understands how Christina’s absence impacts me.

Asia Among rivers casts her net into river futures     I face future river and speech rains subtle curves     Speech rains curve summer scroll     Speech scroll curves my face full snow / earth salt and leaven