Begin indeterminate time tune indeterminate text
Begin indeterminate time: time text intones texture torture garden Begin indeterminate time tune text tortoiseshell taryn: tortoise drone La Monte Young environment
Begin indeterminate time (hideous is hideways taste her jessamine her jessamine these lake have words) Begin indeterminate text (inlets insert into nest I essence traveled I essence traveled is implores I revealed)
Environment indeterminate environment indeterminate
Begin indeterminate time environment (Book as environment – Body as environment – KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome environment) Begin indeterminate text tune text drone environment
Aleatoric environment drones endless time and chaotic time into aleatoric environment
Begin Benjamin and I begin Benjamin. I begin Benjamin and Benjamin bands time: banded time environment and environment time abyss. Begin Benjamin abyss: abyssal Book chaotic time and unbound Book time. Begin Benjamin and I begin Benjamin aleatoric environment. Book environment intones indeterminate text textured drone.
Begin indeterminate time and nonlinear time and time plots particular nonlinear (time nonlinear nonsense nonlinear time)
Nonlinear blessing time and time indeterminate blessing
Indeterminate blessing time: blessing botulism blessing bubonic plague Blessing bubonic plague barbarian / split tone ben bodies Bodies overboil abandon abaddon body blockade Bodies entwined bodies indeterminate blessing time
Indeterminate blessing time writes the nonlinear Book blessing (word cup blessing word cup blesses bartender ballads word and we twelve are where we are now are we word sound cup circular breathing word sound cup serpent speech my speech wheels word vibration speech spangles speculum strained stairs my stars my speech and my speech) Indeterminate time blesses my speech (a sound accomplishes nothing; without it, life would not last an instant) I sound certain speech unintentional speech: sacred sound cellular languages (patterns, repetitions, and variations rise and disappear)
Nonlinear blessing time and time indeterminate blessing Time blesses patterns, repetitions, and variations which arise and disappear
Begin indeterminate time: begin nonsense time aleatoric
Again aleatoric I pick up my body nonsense. My nonsense body contorts circus body nonlinear (backwards and forwards time cosmic horror). I pick up my nonsense body again aleatoric. I pick up aleatoric anacrusis and aleatoric mane cadence. I pick an aleatoric esotericism and an esoteric alea and aletheia. Again my body nonsense nails text to my forehead an aleatoric crucifixions.
Begin indeterminate test text textual time aleatoric Indeterminate time articulates a double time aleatoric doppelgangers (twofoldness that tradeswomen two thunderbolt Two thunderbolt think classical their thirdsman telepathy) Anarchic time accumulates time out of joint and time out of my mind (jagged tower believe be warm most jar Most jar well forcednesses also fitfullynesses irefulnesses by unnnaturalnesses)
Begin indeterminate tune indeterminate text
Crow Christina Calls Crow
Crow Christina calls crow
Crow Christina Crow clarion
Crow click classic film noir
normal to field Christina
(orthogonal crows crowd
snowing spinal columns)
Crow Christina calls crow
low snow bells
Crows column space elevator
carbon nanotube cargo
(Skeleton cargo keeps skeleton
clandestine whale map lamps)
Crow Christina clangs crow
Klang bang church bell
Aether fire atmospheres
Crows column asteroid
orbits electron orbits
column crows stochastic noise
Christina crows crowd
yard work and rake space
leaves make more space
Make space strays mainstay
crows call Christina calling
Crow Christina calls crow clarion
low snow klang bang catastrophes
Crow Christina calls crow
rainbow outer space
Make space lamp map
crow word whale columns
Time And Chance Work On The Structures
Time and chance have worked on the materials, not only to corrode but to create new structures: as if process itself had turned poet, to leave its imprint on the work
Time: time structure Time time structure wolf constellations Time time clusters structure constellations: wolf pack constellations and wolf pack paraboloids
Time and chance have worked on the structures and time obsesses with structures. Time obsesses structures dissolving into structures and the structure – the time and duration of structure – embeds recursive structures dissolving. Time obsesses where the structure duration stretches – stretch metamorphosis and stretch anamophosis – into scale. Time and chance have worked on the materials and word her word in wolf packs.
Time and chance work wolf pack paraboloids
Time and chance work hyperbolic marriage of heaven and hell hanging man mistress
Time and chance work wolf mistress hanging gardens of babylon
Time and chance work on the materials and time writes and rewrites Christina ghosts. Christina in chase channels ghost hypostasis: the divine and human nature of Jesus Christ. Christ as crane wife films our suicide forest. Crane Wife Christ films forest feathers and feathers flock into momentary Christina ghosts. Christ crave wife assembles feathers into Christina ghosts flocks and Christina threads bare stations of the cross. Christian and Kindred shares the cross feathered dinosaurs.
Time and chance work on the materials materialized word Word hangs hanging mistress mystery / house on haunted hill (Christina inhabits the cross house on haunted hill – girl ghosts gathered at golgotha – and I slide sword and thread through salamander sieves and I thread additional pin-up prime numbers.) House on haunted hill threads hell hauntology: the reinvention of language of language following catastrophe
Time and chance work wolfpack paraboloid and curves combine catastrophes: curves comb jellies reinvented language languages word times
Time and chance work […] work lacunae lunar eclipse time […] with Christina chances chance
Time and chance work on the materials language lambda lateral lambda / doe dossier frankenlight Desert light undress frankenstein’s monster eruption: erupting sprung rhythm messy motorik
Time and chance […] a disproportionate desert symmetry / crippled asymmetry Crippled asymmetry sync a […] chance chance and time.
Time and chance work on the materials, a multidirectional wolf packword / asymmetrical desert light Asymmetry periods play aperiodic asymmetry (asymmetry plays aperiodic anarchy bumblebee chainmail: bumblebee chainmail chainsaw organized noise)
Time and chance chance […] time time and chance […] time and chance cross Christina (Time and chance have worked on the materials and I slide sword through the thread and thread tuning fork. I thread tuning fork through tuning fork arrangements of the prime numbers. I prepare the prime numbers for prayers and liturgies. I prepare the numbered liturgy of her word wound and Christina appears in every psalm. Christina appears in every psalm [my god my god why have you forsaken me / my kindred my kindred why have you forsaken me.] Christina my crane wife crucifies me in the feather cathedral. Christina crucifies me and time and chance work on my body purely material and the bones of my body form cathedral columns [cathedrals cycle concentric circle cardiac arrest / Taryn interprets my heart block as electric signal churches]. Christina intersects Christianities […] my god my god why have you forsaken me. I write and rewrite Christina and Christianity and golgotha charges chance battery pink out of the corner.)
Time and chance charges time and chance Time and chance wave worked on the material, not only to corrode but to create new structure: as if the process itself had turned poet, to leave its imprint on the work Time and chance charges time and chance
Time and chance process pause (process pause pause process aporia aperiodic body motion puzzle pause process parse play pyramids intense stacked texts) Chance process pause texts texts tertian harmony / funk monk harmolodic
Time and chance wears and wears word, and I wander the word to discover new structure new structure (An old Christina conversation. Do you love me? I say. Yep! says Christina. Why? Lots of reasons, she says. One is the whole you’re a human thing. But that’s just one. We’ve been through a lot together since a young age. You’re also a part of me. I love you like I love myself, including grace for all the flaws and hope for growth. Shallowly, you’re a comfort to me. I enjoy spending time with you even if we’re just texting. And we are Kindred, says Christina. I suppose those are good reasons, I say. Why do you love me? says Christina. Do I love you? Maybe I’m just a butthead who exploits you for the Book. I think I love you though. I often feel like I fail in that love though. I feel like the people in my life deserve a better friend than me, I say. I don’t think that matters when talking about loving someone, she says. Love as a feeling. I think you just get to love people. They don’t come into it, she says. Have you seen the movie Adaptation? I say. Yeah, but I think I was high. I want to share some dialogue from it with you, I say.
There was this time in high school. I was watching you out the library window. You were talking to Sarah Marsh.
Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was being really sweet to you.
I remember that.
Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. And it was like they were laughing at me. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
I knew. I heard them.
How come you looked so happy?
I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
But she thought you were pathetic.
That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.
I love you because I can’t imagine my life without you, I say. I can’t think of my life as separate from yours. I feel our lives intertwine, I say. Yeah, I agree with that, says Christina. The Adaptation stuff and the intertwining stuff, she says.) Time and chance wear only grief, my reminisces and archives. Time text intones texture texture torture garden and garden eden and torture garden intersects at the Christina archive.
Time and chance intones text textures archived time – remembered time – time recalled – in search of lost time
Worked time – prophesied time – time struck dark darkness dark time
Worked time -- […] time – time tremor ice -- […] time glacier
Time text intones texture torture garden Time tune text tortoise Taryn: tortoise drone La Monte Young environment (environment Sonic Youth saddle point cusp cold cut stations of the cross) Time tone intones time text textures environment – viral environment – environment between entrances Time tone cup cusp skull stations of the cross cold cut pyramid texts (pyramid text porno or cannibal film) I film texts several times simultaneous: I choreograph bodies several times simultaneous porous poses superimposed
Time and chance – time tumor tremor tumor time thunder thunder thistle time time tuning Time time tremor hammer time tunnel tunnel time tunnel time hammer Hammer time time can’t touch this (This time in time take a chance chance chisel time hammer)
A long term project: revisit Christina conversations and meditate on them and learn from them and re-contextualize them
Christina my crane wife keeps Kindred kelp forest fang other fearsome critters crane the word wife Christina my crane wife kiss kindred stations of the cross and seasons in the abyss thrash cranes critter Christina Christina my crane wife keeps word catacomb crossword catechumen Christina acumen
Christina keep kindred karst capstone catacomb her cox crumb kiss karakoram / Christina infiltrates tectonic plates I ask cask Christina into my heart Christ have mercy on me a sinner (Christina have mercy on me a sinner)
Two Columns
Cool jazz columns two collage experiments and two columns
Sardine school cool jazz columns: two collage experiments and two commas sardine school
I stroll through the cool jazz columns slowly and I stroll slower and slower cool blues I stroll in the cool of day slow gardening and guerrilla gardening
I stroll these structure and scale and I stroll fishscale scallops
Stroll structures scallop dallop desert scale structures strolls scrolls random walk scriptures
I stroll through circular ruins arch structure circular palindromes drone nonretrogradable rhythms
Cool jazz columns: two collage experiments and two commas
Comma column collect collect crop color Cool color jazz jawbone odd circle radio cramp color cool jazz coronal mass ejection eye columns
Commas column collect collect constellations (column constellations comma constellations)
Column structures stroll column structures and comma structures: column structures extend column structures and I stroll through structures and I work two collage experiments experiment structures (I embed in the structures Christina memorywork and Christina archive. I structure collections and constellations to Christina and all the stars were crashing round and I laid eyes on what I found. I structure constellations into my crane wife and my crane wife and my crane wife. [Christina married to Crane Wife Part 1 and 2. Part 3 completed the trilogy in a distressing manner, so not an appropriate wedding song – but this third part foreshadows the future ending of their wedding.] I also think of Christina as the Kindred arrives with all the stars crashing down as I laid eyes on what I found. Christina a crane wife keeps a Kindred karst feathers.) Column structures stroll cool jazz and I take five to assemble tree collages fish commas
Cool jazz columns: two collage experiment and two columns Comma colors coral cool jazz coronal mass Mass moves ejected eye columns / mass mass mix ward chaos terrain ejections Cell snail snow lookout watch out multiple of wolves (wolves work strongly sheared arcades cut tether Taryn tense topology)
Two cool jazz columns: two unequal columns each of which envelope or sheath sheared cuts
I cling column circular ruins and I run from ruin to ruin Each column implies an unequal scale and structure I climb column arcades handaxe arcades
Column to column to the left side and column with column on the right side
Camera stacks columns column columns coalesced column to cameras
Column keeps structure and scale in sardine schools and I swim in school skewed columns
Cool jazz columns: two collage experiments and two commas Two unequal column each of which envelope shear cuts in column shears: cut overturn turn inside out replaced remarks cut stations of the cross unusual crucifixions (Christina crucifies completely and Christina’s absence crucifies completely. Christina a crane wife keeps Kindred karst feathers and red limestone lipstick [my crane wife arrived at my door in the moonlight All star-bright and tongue-tied I took we were married and bells rang sweet for our wedding And our bedding was ready when we fell in] I doubt Christina will ever marry again but if she does I hope she marries Kindred. I still find myself stuck as high school benjamin or community college benjamin madly in love with Christina and I always-already madly love Christina and even if I hang my head low, I’d still marry Christina. I marry silly and the Kindred would destroy the Kindred in marriage but I prefer her destruction to her absence [Sound the keening bell and see it’s painted red soft as fontanelle the feathers and the thread and all I ever meant to do was to keep you my crane wife my crane wife my crane wife…] Christina my crane wife kept Kindred encrypted in Christian scripture – Christina my crane wife all I ever meant to do was to keep you.) Two unequal columns cut across stations of the cross unusual crucifixions
Cool jazz columns: two collage experiments and two commas Column column cinema ultra-high-energy cosmic rays red hack hooks hinge columns I count columns twists and scaffolds vivid cathedral sunflowers (Cool structures – collage cool structures and constellations cool structures – I collect cool structures and I construct musics. I construct walking musics and running musics, and I race the music between columns. I race column combination and permutations I machine marathons. I obsess with columns and columns and rows of matrices.) I count columns cathedral cool jazz coordinates / cardinal directions populated desert
Two columns in the desert twist and turn two columns in the desert multidirectional (I write and rewrite Christina several implications of the Riemann Hypothesis I write and rewrite Christina hypothesized ghosts in hypostasis / her divine and human nature) Two columns in the desert directs desert directions diagonal body gallery body gully / the skull of Mary Magdalene in St. Maximin Basilica in France
Cool jazz columns: two collage experiments and two commas
Snow In Slow Mourning
I swim snow bone magic and I control the horns logos I control storms logos and long femur bone light
I swim snow snow bone Swim snow snow bone swim I swim snow bone
Swim snow bow row thirds third in bone
I swim liturgical snow and snow bow mass masses amassed word snow Snow word toward word swears magic (Something in snow – this snow strokes skull magic. This snow strikes skulls and skulls strike magics. Snow strikes skull matchstick fire magic – I conjure snow fire. I conjure snow embedded in fire and fire embedded in snow recursive magics. Something in this snow skull magic. Something in this snow – snow magics.) I swim liturgical snow and snow book of common prayer Liturgical snow shares the prayer
I did a bit of writing yesterday, says Asia. Tell me about your writing, I say. It wasn’t much, she says. I’m getting the ghost project back up. I’ve been thinking about my friend E____ again. She died in January and it snowed in Louisiana on the day of her funeral. Is she the one who went on the mission? Yeah, says Asia. […] I think the worst thing about missing my friend is that there is no guarantee that we would still be friends if she were still alive. We could have went separate ways after I left the church, she says. I wonder how loss through death and a loss through ending a relationship while a person is alive differs, I say. In some ways they don’t – it still requires a deep mourning. Alive, I suppose there’s always hope for reconciliation with some former friends. Death is so final. My uncle’s funeral was last week. I didn’t go, but I was more deeply affected by it then I thought. I didn’t think I was that close to him but I felt a lot of sad and deep emotions. When I wasn’t talking to Christina, I thought if she was dead I could fully mourn but if she had been alive, I couldn’t mourn properly, I say.
I swim snow slow mourning I mourn snow swim snow and mourning is a kind of liturgy and worship (snow mourning ways it thought guarantee my mourn relates would could close) I swim snow mourning now would could close was former and snow differs but friends
I swim snow slow drone magic and I control the storms logos Out of control logos storms stations of the cross mourning (I kiss the cross Christina and a veil of madness lines over the vision. I kill the catacomb keep Christina and a veil of madness lies over the vision: a veil of madness snow mourning. A veil of madness matches mab moon smash cross mash-up I bedroom cross crucifixions. A veil kisses a veil enveloping oceans.)
I swim snow slow bone magic and I control the storms logos I control the storms logos and long femur bone light Light to light mourning I’ve been thinking about my friends open again Swim snow on the day of new funeral
Swim snow slow bone magic emerges magic
Swim snow slow bone magic conjures magic (I kiss the Cross Christina KING FELIX. I share in cipher madness and my madness veils-unveils oceans. I swim in snow oceans and I bathe in snow mourning. I mourn snow and snow ocean vellum seldom but palimpsest.)
I swim snow snow bone magic and I control the storms logos I control the storms logos and long femur bone light I walk tight rope wire water worship wire wolf water wyrd choirs Walk tight wire water wire wolf water wyrd Walk wire water water wire wolf walk (I swim snow snow sneaker have snow her body snow I swim) I swim snow but I’m was deep mourn but hope it some ways hope for reconciliation
Some ways hope for reconciliation: Christina Kudzu sprawl dead mall body without organs Something in this snow: Christina Kudzu sprawl unkempt crypt ripped from tidelands and dreamlands While a person is alive we could fully mourning Christina keep kyrie eleison Lord have mercy Christ have mercy alchemical mercury (Tell me if you think it’d be all right if I could just crash here tonight You can see I’m in no shape for driving and anyway I’ve got no place to go and you know it might not be that bad You were the best I ever had If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago I might not be alone) (I listen to Hey Jealousy by the Gin Blossoms and I reminisce about Christina and reimagine every evening song as about the Kindred. I reanimate every song as a Christina song evening and she appears everywhere / your hair is everywhere screaming infidelities and it’s taking its wear.) Something in this snow and wolf wire water: death sense death when person didn’t sad she friend I swim snow slow bone magic: alive we could have felt a loss that think I was last
I control the storm logos and long femur bone light I walk light wire wire wolf water and I worship the wolf water I walk light choirs choir call cold work oil-hardened steel lion stalkers / her body ridged like my skull
I swim in snow ridged like my skull I swim snow I didn’t so but if she was ways after I left the church (Christina and I were terrible middle school and high school emo kids and we listened to American Football and Mineral and Further Seems Forever and Jimmy Eat World and Dashboard Confessional. I romanticize our relationship from then but it was a fucking terror – or at least sometimes terror but I still miss Christina Kindred totality and Christina totality. I don’t know what to do except copy song lyrics she likes and reminisce needlessly evening about our friendship: the Kindred. Christina keeps Kindred karst catacomb her catacomb cask korakoram. Christina keep kindred karst capstone her cox cows cathedral cask kiss korakoram / the Kindred follows the chain rule for differentiation.)
I swim snow slowbone magic Fire skulls magic skull skipping stone spontaneous human combustion Bone combusts storm-and-warrior deity lightning slice magics: lightning slit sigils marching snare singles signals
I Dream The Deleted Desert
Dream delete desert body without organs Dream delete desert body without organs (Dream very dream black iron prison: dream very dream imprisoned my body reveals imprisonment. Dream very dream scriptures and dead sea scrolls and I adorn my body with amulets animated magics. Dream scripture sigils my body inscribed desert dreaming.)
Dream delete desert body Dream desert delete body sheets of sound Body sounds dream bodies the very dream
Dream ben adam organs open (I open my organs ben adam and ben hinnom: I open organ organic chains ben adam) Dream ben adam obvious orange crush cask cicada desert body without organs (my organs slurp sand cats cedars of lebanon: my organs slap sidewinders scale scriptures)
I open my body new scrolls and new scriptures. I open my body new codex coptic bound organs again open. Ben organs glisten ocean gods. I open ocean organs an awful dream.
Body without organs grams lightning glare motif in large masses I write large mists large mosaics / effects of rain and mist on the landscape I have vivid nightmares of the cathedral in various colors – pink, blue, and yellow (multiplicity of cathedrals / power drill bumble bees) I have dreams multiple multiplicities mixed and remixed colors (power drill drinking drum / denuded tree upon which wolves perch) I worship with wolves wounded bodies: bodies tent tabernacle ark shark bodies
Dream desert delete body without organs Dream delete desert bodies burden of the desert vision (I had a delirious dream: I had dreams asleep and awake, what Philip K. Dick experienced as hypnagogic visions, and a dream with fever without fever and I scale an impossibly large tree. I free climbed the Tree this Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil but the archons of Black Iron Prison seize me before I’m able to reach the top. I dream again the Black Iron Prison dream and I quickly scale the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. At the top, I meet the Serpent Zoe, and I swallow her tongue and rib, and I grow a new spinal column also a Tree.) Dream ark shark select wolf bodies broad belly melody Belly melody wolf tone harmonies
Dream body desert body deletion Body desert body dream deletion Desert body dream deletion body
Dream belly melody wolf tone harmonies organ intonation / eye isolates cat organ Multiplicities net multitudes desert remix: burning office building office building burnt offering Burning office building bores arc ark a multiplicity: burnt offering office bones bless multiplicities (In the preceding dream, I undress the desert. I undress the desert populated by nudes and card players. I play plain poker a multiplicity of dismembered pores and porous face – little skylight scars.)
Dream deletes desert body without organs I haphazard plane poker a multiplicity of pores (little skylights stitched scars) I dream future dream wolves ring wraith rupture / rupture rock wolf rhizomes
I dream between deleted desert and depleted Book. I love my friends. I love Taryn, Krystal, Violet, Ann Marie, August, Asia. I survive to and through the love of my friends. I dream their faces. From now on, I only want to walk down in the passage Christina and I do not take towards the door that never opened into her rose garden (But Ben, you’ve always written Christina. You’ve always walked this unknown path together: doors open doors and doors open apophatic the descent to the rose garden.)
I dream between desert and deleted desert nude diamond bodies (When the aurochs were slaughtered, the os cordis was extracted from the heart; this bone contributed to the mystique and magical powers attributed to it.) I dream between boundless dreamless – an inalienable dreamless delete magic I dream the mystery and the initiation into mystery endless deserts
I dream between my burning body desert body without organs From my body or between my body, aurochs emerge contradiction contra extinction / she lights the lights lazarus taxon
I dream the Book playground and wasteland and between the sediment deposits, endless strata of geologies. Between geologies, the endless descent through my body embedded in earths. I discover my body composed of endless fossils / I discover my body composed of endless books. Taryn lights the lights lazarus taxons (Taryn taxon auroch tetragrammaton Taryn table salt surgical suture similar slaughterhouse).
Velvet worm, says Asia. Love this silly little children’s book character little fuckers. I love them so much, she says. He looks like the only creature in hell who would feel bad about torturing you and encourage you through the fire, I say. Like he’s scary at first but then you look at his face and it has compassion and love, I say. They are so precious, says Asia. Yes! I say. It does look like an Asia creature she would vibe with.
Dream desert delete body without organs Dream delete desert precious velvet worms (in them only little children’s worms: they little look down jig feel Look like he’s creature they yes through face: she first so encourage fuckers) Dream desert delete Taryn table salt (Taryn table salt slaughterhouse whore house hauntology / brothers boombox bridal chamber)
Dream desert delete body without organs: my body blurs the blues velvet worms words Velvet worm love trace nubby single touch character single missing My body blurs the blues and I blink blues bipolar melancholy My body blurs encourage you and encourage you through and encourage you and it has compassion and it has compassion My body without organs brings blues bebop, a complete Christina blues with odd chord changes Christina chimes blues bitter wormwood walking blues (I woke up this morning, feeling round for my shoes know about at I got these old walking blues) (I haven’t seen you in ages but it’s not as bleak as it seems We still dance in whirling stages in my busby berkely dreams)
Dream delete desert body without organs encroach you through these silly little children’s books character little children’s books character little children’s books Dream dream desert book I bite bone bird ear ice quakes / all roads lead to rooms I barb arrow bone magic tombs and caves in the dream vision
I dream continuous desert and discontinuous desert filtered by mongolian death worms Auroch approaches broad oar row wolves longsword and broadsword Aurochs stampede magic bone magic letters child of human snowlight snowlight fish scales I mix magic with riot riot remix bone charcoal black paintings I swim slow bone magic and I control the storms logos and long femur bone light (My long bones emit magic music and music magic, and my femur flutes conjured aurochs. My bones break open auroch blues and I walk through blues auroch catacombs and Christina tombs. Desert bones vibrate sand initiation and music melodies, and I bow bone desert harmolodics. Aurochs arrive at cave call bone and choir catacombs.) Christina keep karst catacomb and she kisses her beloved at the foot of the cross
Dream delete desert body without organs Christina keep karst catacomb and she kisses her beloved at the foot of the cross Christian keep karst limestone lipstick and she kisses secret gospel of mark a map and not a tracing Christina keep keep forest facets and my body fractures twelve-bar blues (Shadows are falling and I’ve been here all day It’s too hot to sleep and time is running away Feels like my soul has turned into steel I’ve still got the scars that the sun didn’t heal There’s not even room enough to be anywhere It’s not dark yet but it’s getting there) Christina keep karst Christian catacombs and saints pour forth from the tomb uneasy undead (apophatic bodies apophatic cannonball bodies) Christina catacombs ferment fucked up syntax talk auroch aurochs
Dream desert delete body without organs Dream delete desert auroch Bodies and velvet worm bodies Dream deletes
Porous Multiple Bodies
Multiplicity of pores pan plane porous body multiples
Multiplicity pours pores pan plane porous body multiples
A multiplicity of pores plow plane porous aporia approximate body galaxy buoyant Body pinball multiple lawnmower blade bumper bodies Body pinball blitzkrieg bop bulldozer multiple body (My body here my body and I don’t know my body but ghosts possess my bodies graphomania. The spirit of prophecy possess me as Saul: from there they arrived at Gibeah, where a band of prophets met Saul, and the Spirit of God rushed upon him, so that he joined them in their prophetic ecstasy… Here my body prophesies until death and after death. The spirit inscribes visionary language onto my skin and onto my grave plot. I descend to sheol and harrow hell and I prophesy to the spirits of the dead. I cannot rid myself of my kerygma and I remain embedded in the prophetic spirit. My bodies abide in death and double death, but the spirit of prophecy drives me into the wilderness concerto grosso.) A multiplicity of bodies or a multiphonic body body pander doppelganger
Multiplicities bodies pores multiple bodies pan plane porous polyphony Multiple phosphorus bodies bulldoze phosphors desert flash body (bangled phosphors and quicksilver)
Christina quicksilver quickens Christina alchemy. Christina quacks duck echo echlolalia (I sometimes pray the psalms. I revisit the psalms and liturgy of the hours but Christina interrupts and inflicts me with stigmata.) (My god my god why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from me and from the words of my roaring? I poured my heart out – it evaporated, see?) I listen to “Circus” by Kazuki Tomokawa and I listened to this song on repeat when Christina married and I listen to this song on repeat while she endures her slow divorce (The spectators are sardines all. Throats rumble and oyster shells. It’s pitch-dark, dark dark, dark out. The night wears on and on and on...) (It’s always night, otherwise, they wouldn’t need the lights). I pray Christina psalm air raids and Christina quips quickcut cash cocaine. Christina airplanes cuticles into my brain (cocaine). Christina queer queues keystone slaloms and I slalom shoulderwise shoulder blades into snowy urinating tract infections (ben hinnom inflatable bladder). I hum inflatable inflatable sex dolls of the wastelands. I wed waste lands (Christina’s favorite piece of literature – besides the book because she’s in it and it inflates her ego – is the Waste Land by T.S. Eliot. I will rewrite parts of The Waste Land to include Christina in them). I wed Christina Waste Land.
Multiple bodies displace multiplicity of bodies: displaced multiplicity of pores pan pane contra body multiples Multiplicity of pores plow plane displaced swords A sword several skulls rot just one / the skull of superman in a sword dream I dream dress rest restless rough rhythm Rhythm ruin entrance entropy / early body dink ink interior designer (I dream the spirit of prophecy possessing my motorcycle body and I prophesy wheel restless. I dream restless my body restless dream prophecy, and the spirit spoons spindle restless.) I design the dream draw draft skull / bones are a multiplicity Bones are a multiplicity / a skull is never alone
My skull is never alone and my skull multiplies skulls My skull never alone undresses alone many skulls multiplicity of skull designs
My skull alone multiplies never alone My skull alone animals multiplicities polygon alone many skulls
I wed Christina waste land. I wed Christina waste land work shark word. Word whittles the wind comes as it pleases. I wed Christina waste land we are climbing Jacob’s Ladder. I web Christina waste land work shark word ransom walk (shark what the unreasonable effectiveness of mathematics in the natural sciences). Christina stalks science a spark of Christina. Christina compacts science into a small circular disc secretly hidden in my lumbar vertebrae. Christina compacts sciences and Christina cuts my body multiplies halves with strange scissors (Cubist Christina improvises a panmodal theme / red planes parallax). Christina compares herself to nude descending down a staircase. She takes her scissors and cuts my body spiral polyp poly phora. I work shark word sand shark shots (a thresher shark means a Taryn t-shirt).
A multiplicity of pores plane plane porous body multiples Body multiplicities pour plow plane aporia approximate skin galaxies Body multiple pinball tilt silt seductive blonde bumper cars I crash my car bumper skulls / a skull is never alone (Never alone, the spirit of prophecy possess me. The spirit of prophecy possesses me and I was going. I fall into a prophetic frenzy until I came to Naioth in Ramah. I speak spirit: I spirit sand shark spirit and thresher shark spirit. I speak shark word and I open my gills god word and word gehenna). Skull alone strands sand sinews / genuine human skins (THE RELUCTANT TEASE She seemed to be everything a man could desire, but the passions which burned within her lush body could only be satisfied by another woman!)
I write Christina – I always write Christina – I never not write Christina. If I copy from the Hebrew Bible, it means Christina; if I copy from the Nag Hammadi Codex, it only prophesies Christina; if I copy from the Zohar, its sages and rabbis and assemblages only describe the Face of Christina and the Throne of Christina, forever and ever. The Book writes Christina before I was born and the Book will continue writing until I die and far beyond my death. Christina I miss you: you are the one who writes and the one who is written. Christina, you are the Book as old as fire and water.
A multiplicity of apophatic bodies and aporeatic bodies Full body desert full body tree of life upside down Dream desert body without organs Obvious organ orange crush castle cicada desert body without organs Organs slurp sand cat cedars of lebanon lesbian cannon / lead pipe splat brain smack smear swear smack my bitch up
Multiple bodies multiply rhizomic bodies / body multiplicity mass amassed bodies (Body without organs grams lightning glare motif in large motifs
Multiple bodies multiply badger bodies
Book That Births The Beginning
Content Warning: suicidal ideation and depression
Where in the Book that births the beginning: in the beginning the word
Where in the Book begins beginning in the beginning the word Where word begins verb the verb Where verb word verb vision: vision in the beginning lift up your eyes and see (lift up your eyes and verb the verb: vibrating verb and verb resonates eyes resonate eyes the looking verb) Lift up your eyes on high and see who creates these: the verb of Book chasm (chasm gestures Book and Book chasms body gesture gesture verb abyss) Where in the Book begins begins word
Where in the Book begins: begin Word begin Begin word verb word begin (Verb begins in my vertebrae: verb vibrates in my vertebrae beginning beginning. Verb sounds bone vowels without ground. I sound vowels out. I sound vowels bone out and out: bone in and bone out sound vowel. I sound vowels liturgy and psalms.) Where in the Book begins and I begin the Book again Kindred grief
I try to die. I try to die die try dry child of humanity comes as a dyer. I die Son of Man and Child of Humanity a very human crucifixion. I try death stretch music methamphetamine (Candy told me nothing really matters anymore When I ask her what she means she says I ought to know Candy says she’s made arrangements for me in the sand Candy says she wants me with her down in Candyland). Christina, is it OK if I disappear too? Christina, is it OK if I disappear with you too? I desire to dwell in the desert of the dead. I dwell dead dark dead detour desert dresser drawer big dipper (In keeping with the WXLT practice of presenting the most immediate and complete news reports of local blood and guts news, TV 40 presents what is believed to be television first. In living color, an exclusive coverage of an attempted suicide). I dream suicide and I imagine a fantastic and grandiose suicide but in reality, my suicide would end up lonely and quiet and others would quickly forget about me (have you forgotten how to love yourself?).
Where the Book births beginning: beginning Book body body abyss my body gestures Christina abyss body body gestures a grammar grief / Body gestures Book abyss
Bird Book abyss blossom in the beginning
Bird Book abyss blossom beginning beginning (Adam and Christina: Ben Adam and Christina Eva)
Birds Book abyss blossoms in the beginning beginning always Always beginning always Ben Adam Book (beginning Book Christina without Christina) I begin absolute abyss (I begin absolute abyss / I begin absolute abyss) I always begin with or without Christina
It’s OK to feel depressed, right? I say. I depressed myself. I was recording and writing thoughts on some old Christina and Ben emails. I focus an old email when we just got out of high school and Christina was trying to convince me not to commit suicide and my relationship with her was bad for a long time. I think of Bojack Horseman and Diane. I wasn’t completely conscious of it but I emotionally abused her with my depression and suicidal ideation and she did the same for me… I recall something though between me and you. I kept a text you sent me last year. You chastised me for my emotional abuse. You were angry at me for demanding all your time and wanting to be the most important friend of your life, how selfish that as, and how you have nothing left to give. I was thinking how that Ben would be very surprised with our current friendship. Our current friendship is what that Ben wanted: that closeness and depth and strength. But he didn’t allow the space and give support and love in return. He wanted to take and smother… I wonder if that Asia would be surprised too at our current friendship – I think so. We are definitely not Bojack and Diane. We are like Ben and Asia, a Ben and Asia that gives unconditionally and respects unconditionally to allow that space around to love and give. I find a lot of comfort in the during my time of grieving, I say.
Where the Book births beginning Where Book births beginning beginning Begin you chastised to take and respects unconditionship Begin our current friendship: our current me not Bojack and Christina wasn’t was Bird book abyss blossom my relational and depth and your time of commit In the beginning always always body book book my relational want friendship want friendship is what space are definitely conscious of grieving
I begin abyss I begin absolute abyss / I begin absolute abyss I begin abyss wasn’t through with her was and you (Abyss, I kept a text you. I keep a text you. I keep a text you. I kept a text you.)
I miss Christina and it’s embarrassingly how I miss Christina. I feel embarrassed I miss Christina and when I prophesy Christina interrupts my grieving for Christina’s absence, her interruption demands I only speak Christina and my speech embarrasses interruption. My speech embarrasses intensely sentimental: abyssal bathos, a humming bird bath, cave mouth kitsch, kitchen sink aluminum balloons. My grieving and sorrow banishes me to desolate places and I cannot ever pray in the desolate place because God abandons and ceases to listen. I repeat and work and rework Christina texts and Christina materials (Christina, crash into me).
Where Book births beginning: beginning human birth ben adam Begin ben and Christina (and be the give were the this phosphorous the Asia endocasts)
(Where Book begins Christina listen Gin Blossoms I found an old ocean when we just ten out of high school and cyber cafe wasn’t trying to convince me not to commit sludges)
Begin absolute abyss Begin absolute what birth Ben Adam acid body acrid aphex thomas the twin I begin no difference gog and magog Book massacre (I also paint cats where this is no difference I also paint and friend would take for space and the and return to and your ideation) I paint no difference Book massacre splattered disc (scattered disc dish driver distance desert wolves desert discards drown door: drown door down desert)
When Book births the begin I begin beginning with without Christina I begin Ben Adam
Process Punches New Bodies
Process itself punches new bodies Process punch pause pauses my body pomegranates
Process punches rapid body metals: rapid moth amateur meadow manufacture
Process punches process plus bodies
Process punch punches process processes rapid Rapid process punches body metals moth armor armature manufacturer measures (I mention my body rapidly moving with my bodies and across my bodies. I measure my body rapidly better my bodies and beyond bodies, and the rapid of my bodies push process. My bodies push and pull process, and my bodies roll with process punches.) Process punch punches process processes / process possesses the person of the book
I happen to write a floating and flexible Book: Book boomtown multidirectional Book boomtown iron ore processes metallic bodies belonging to Book I happen to write metals and heavy metal bodies punches
Punches punches new bodies heavy metals Book boomtown processes iron ore under erasure / wine optimistic ottoman chair Iron ore rhizomic rent underground under erasure here sure her oneiric ottoman chair (I dream this particular ottoman chair cyclops psychonauts)
Process itself punches new bodies: poetry and poetics of new bodies I mention my body magician / the body more as a source of a variety of movements (Note to self: explore movements and gravity of the body in writing) I move body maximum time maximum erosion Move odd numbers even numbers orbit eccentricities
My body moves in process in the process of movement from one room to another and from one chair to another. I move my body from this chair to this chair. Chair as process punches through to my body articulates as chair. I consider several chairs pairing with several roses: five sturdy roses surrounding the rose.
Process itself punches new portraits and I move my body maximum time and maximum erosion. I become aware of the process of my body and my body is the process of movement. I watch a video essay by Every Frame A Painting about Robin Williams and the way he moved in film. Sometimes the camera would be still and he moved and I become aware of the process of my hands and I mainly think with my body and of my body with my hands. The writing gives me something physical to do and my body remains visible and visibly lived through to through.
Process itself plays time with time the variety of maximum erosions Time and chance work on the materials and fucks with the fabric of time Flesh and skull fuck with the fabric of time turning bone elevators (“Low” features a unique drum sound, created by Visconti using an Eventide H910. When asked by Bowie what it did, Visconti replied, it fucks with the fabric of time.)
Process itself plays musical chairs and I consider several chairs paired with several roses: five sturdy leaves surrounding the rose Leaves surround chair slow kudzu Krystal Five leaves surround and five chairs folded into five surrounds: five salvation five gates (Salvation the flow of emanation saved the rose Shekinah from the demonic thorns surrounding her) (Shekinah sits in a shaker ladderback chair / creative solutions such as asymmetrical drawer arrangements and multipurpose forms add visual interest)
Process punches present my body presence Present process processes Book beginnings Where in the Book that births the beginning: in the beginning lift up your eyes and see the Book (I see the Book and Book overwhelms me. I worship the Book overwhelms me. Book births me but how. How this Book several chairs processed body in motion. My bodies in motion play pregnant planets in orbits – each planet hibernates a deity. Book births me how the process of body horror and cosmic horror. I worship the body horror of the book.) Process punches process where in the birth of the Book
Process this process: this process punches Book birth. This process punches Book how five chairs and five leaves. I feel in fives and I feel in fives. I count in fives and I count in fives: fan fives flesh grid columns, five flavors and flavours column flesh cloud bodies (my bastard body processes column as archways in Book worship). I count fives and I count fives: five fans grid fires. Gird fires find flintlock pistols firing at Christina columns and the number five circulates around the chair ruins.
Process punches new body processes: possessed movement and movement as worship Process pardes garden counting five pears and five pomegranates
I count in fives and fives fly missing Christina I miss Christina’s five sturdy leaves
I sleep Christina and I awake Christina I awake Christina phantom forests finnegans awake I skip halve have five awake sand wake I skip halve have five awake Christian body without organs Five Christina awake body without organs iceberg Body without organs ice pick wolfpack: five wolves
I sleep Christina and I awake Christina phantom forest finnegans wake I listen to Most of the Time by Bob Dylan: Most of the time I’m clear focused all around Most of the time I can keep both feet on the ground I can follow the path and see the signs, stay with it where the road unwinds I can handle whatever I stumble upon I don’t even notice she’s gone most of the time
I don’t miss Christina most of the time
Today I miss Christina but missing her makes no difference
Today I don’t think I can survive and endure without Christina
Process punches process and Christina possesses my process birth of Book Where in the Book births beginning: in the beginning lift up your eyes and see the Book Lift up your eyes on high and see who created these: the chasm of the Book (Chasm of the chair with leaves devours me and my body now ghost plays pianoforte) Book gestures body abyss Bird book abyss blossoms in the beginning: in the beginning always Book body Book gesture always Book body abyss unbound / begin absolute abyss
Here Were My Clothes
Here were my clothes, but shown in such a way that they appeared totally new to me
Here her name new advertisement now totally new to me Here advertisement new light snow her new neon hair Here were where her who and who last rung on ladder and at ladder into
Here were my clothes. Here and were my clothes. Here were my clothes and I take my clothes in different orders. I take my clothes in different orders in different places around the apartment: the bathroom, the kitchen, the closet. Here my clothes catch fire and they burn length and length and length. I catch spontaneous human combustion.
Here were interior ion her eva Here eva her ovum postminimal Eva Hesse (Lift your eyes on high and see: Who created these? Lift your eyes on high. To which site? The site towards which all eyes gaze. What is that? Opening of the eyes…) Here were my clothes: lift your eyes on high and see Here were where beware the opening of the eyes and eyes open partial towers and partial harmonic skyscrapers
Here were my clothes, but shown in such a way that they appeared totally new to me Where her were eye strain stain canvas slasher film Film here her camera cast here were my clothes I unclothe an opening of all eyes I unclothe an opening of the eyes eye a study of the simplifying subject torn on the Dances of Palucca
I erase clothing strobing nude surfaces / a surface of stratification is a more compact plane of consistency lying between two layers (layers slash strata layers stash strata slash consistent consistent compact pornographic collisions) Here eyes collide come at least in pain peer double pincher
(My body bursts burned bits. Jack shows Meg his Tesla coil. My body burps burned eyes bunched barbed wire. My body bursts barbie barbed wire.)
Here were my clothes, but shown in such a way that they appeared totally new to me
Vision and Mysticism 