Vowel Reveals Experiments

I reveal vowel experiment and vowel experimental     I reveal vowel and repeat vowel howl her experiment     Reveal vowel roll wild her experimental (reveal ben body nonretrogradable rhythms)

I reveal vowel who and where vision I reveal who experiment the where of her vision reveal reverb (I feel the floating flood of color vision / tetragrammaton color television smothers umber underneath)

Book always reveals whether with or without god: Book reveals Who and Her who whether with or without Christina. Book reveals the revealing of the reveal: radio waves visible light, gamma rays, Philip K. Dick’s impossible pink light. Book reveals god and not-god and Christina and not-Christina. The revealing of the revelation is the text and scripture of the Book itself.

I might have told you this story, but when I was in college, I suffered the worst depression of my life. I lost about 15 pounds, lived on pop tarts, and didn’t go to class or work. I was in my apartment and watching the Thrilla In Manila on ESPN Classic and I was struck by God. I experienced the Divine Nothingness and felt the Infinite Darkness that Pseudo-Dionysius talks about. Since then I have loved God with my whole being, even when he has shot me full of spiritual arrows or struck me like Job or Jeremiah.

(I don’t know the provenance of this version of the Rumble In the Jungle Ben-Myth. I found it in a notebook with the possible source as “08/12/21 – in conversation with Asia?” but further research shows it was not in conversation with Asia. Strange I wrote I watched Thrilla In Manila but the earliest versions of this myth call it “The Rumble in the Jungle”, ostensibly after the fight I was watching before the experience. Evidence that remembering invents and experiences anew.)

I sometimes still love god although the god abandoned me to apocalypses. The god leaves me to abaddon and apollyon yet continue to prophesy. I sometimes still love the god and I wake and feel the fell of dark, not day.

I feel fall dark fell door deep: door duke of earl twelve bar blues, the dead body (ben dead body the dusk in us strange supernal darkness) Super dark speculation pours dark spells Super dark reveals draw vowel rumble in the jungle: ben body boxer puncher pop hardcore punk and splatterpunk jungle dark Boxer puncher pop dark apocalypse now / heart of darkness dip or dream heat I box dark drop draw desk and my body blue veil flip vowel vertigo vision (brawl curtain draw sprawl)

I reveal vowel experience or vowel experimental Reveal ben body nonretrogradable rhythm body reveal dark Body reveal dark reverb

I reveal vowel experimental electric can opener vision Vision vowel electromagnetism electromagnetic dark equilibrium (vision bites palindrome time thick) Electric vision immediate intensities sharpen vision open other can mushroom

I reveal vowel my god my god why have you forsaken me I box dead air radio static dry analog television signal

I reveal experimental vowel and I make my myth with god and I make my myth without god I reveal deep vowel and my myth smacks slap face god unfaced: facet face handaxe face to face I love the god faceless foam refrigerator hum / body noise reduction

I was talking to my best friend yesterday about how I want to write with absolute multiplicity, not a fragmentation – which according to A Thousand Plateaus serves to unite it to an upper dimensional totality – but to write a true network without beginning or end. But I told my friend I also realized with my connection to the Godhead, I cannot write true multiplicity – no matter how apophatic or mystical – because it always goes back to the totalizing Godhead. So my solution is perhaps – I’m still working on this – is to make the Elohim truly Elohim – let us become all gods, let us become all divine beings, and make a truly flat anarchic ontology, fully flat horizontal relations everywhere, the divine immanence sprouting everywhere, multiply…

The Death of God opens the absolute anarchic and the (in)completely multiple (multiplicity never completed – multiplicity never concluded – multiplicity unending and perpetual processes) (I do not prophesy a literal death of god – god lives without me and I live without god – but god dies in my soul-state-body-being and I prophesy this personal death. I prophesy this personal death as the mustard seed and catalyst for a new anarchic creative community – a kingdom of god within you and surrounding you.)

I reveal vowel now night nacht next now night: now night visions vision retrograde nocturne Vowel reveals nacht nail night awhile near nigh night and I name night vision and my vision vowel black

Vowel reveals number without what Number without what when numbers now Vowel what now night number without what What night now without negations or midnights now numbers (my nude body without organs my naked body without numbers) (my body what beware numbers without organs)

I arrange and rearrange the vowels and numbers, and the vowels rest at the numbered, and the vowels rest at the unnumbered vertexes. I arrange the numbers primed with vowels as a directed graph. I direct vowels towards the valley of the shadow of death, and vowels double direction number without what multidirectional.

Vowel reveals number without what Vowel reveals my revealing vowel experiment and her vowel who Vowel reveals number without what her experiment I reveal vowel experiment and her vowel who reveals


I Speak With A Human Tongue

I speak with a different tongue: a human tongue and an owl tongue     I speak tongues desert differences and my tongue spills spike water

I speak with a different tongue and I repeatedly encounter a woman who always wears only a transparent raincoat or goes completely nude

I speak with a different tongue elaine elemental
elaine four elements elaine elise elaine electric
elaine elephant elaine elohim elaine el elyon
elaine el shaddai elaine encounter

I repeatedly encounter elaine an an and who always wears only a transparent raincoat or goes completely nude and I speak her tongue raincoat riverrun

I speak repeatedly and rapidly as red rover red rover Christina come over. I speak repeatedly and rapidly and rivers flood my mouth. Rivers and raincoats flood from my mouth to my mouth and each article of clothing speaks a different tongue. I speak repeatedly elemental skirts and elohim dresses. I speak ritual raincoat and nude coattails and I prophesy here comes peter cottontail.

So I suspect many of my family members have undiagnosed ADHD, says Asia. Including my own sister and my late grandfather on my mother’s side and both my parents. My great grandfather was a Pentecostal preacher. My grandfather, the preacher’s son, never received the baptism of the Holy Spirit and I think he took it personally considering you can’t be saved without it according to his abusive religious father and considering he lived most of his adult life as a functioning alcoholic. I never spoke in tongues, my sister never spoke in tongues, and my parents never spoke in tongues. Now my research into speaking in tongues lead me to some interesting results. It’s been observed in many different religions all around the world and a certain part of your brain is activated when you do it. I think people with ADHD just have trouble with it. Their brains don’t connect or flow like that. That’s my theory, says Asia.

Never received the baptism Never spoke in tongues Never spoke in tongues Never spoke in tongues Speaking in tongues

That’s the never you spoke it never received the baptism The both it’s without considering of to have with tongues (never spoke in tongues) In most son my some took religions many alcohol (never received the baptism) In lived theory holy adult preachers pentecostal all mothers (never spoke in tongues)

I speak with a different tongue: a human tongue and an owl tongue I speak tongues desert differences and my tongue spills spike water My tongue spurts spear water spit waves underground color Underwater color clips sparks quick spirit salamander Underwater lemonade pours out a portion of my spirit upon all flesh: my flesh all flash flown over arctic forest Wolves pour word whiskey tongues wild spirit wild hunt

I do not speak a pentecostal tongue but I speak a secret holy ghost tongue and a gnostic holy spirit tongue. I speak a human tongue, which is to say a tongue Son of Man and tongue Human One. I speak a human revelation and a human apocalypse. I speak an owl tongue, which is to say a lilith language and language sophia and shekinah. (this language emanates from KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome).

I speak in tongues Elemental Elaine and Taryn Towers Tongue tower threaten with calamity Tongue Tower teases opportunity (three windows three women lady lightning striking stones)

Tongue Tower titillates sheer tops and little black dresses (Sheer A-line dresses with collars and neckties, suits and dresses that took their details from military uniforms, or an explicit transposition of the male tuxedo to women)

My tongue transposes the man to the woman (Jesus said to them: When you make the two one, and when you make the inside as the outside, and the outside as the inside, and the upper as the lower, and when you make the male and the female into a single one, so that the male is not male and the female not female, and when you make your eyes in place of an eye, and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you shall enter the Kingdom.)

My tongue transposes the man to the woman (Boys on my left side boys on my right side Boys in the middle and you’re not here Boys in their dresses and you’re not here)

My tongue transposes the man to the woman (Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack All dressed in black black black With silver buttons buttons buttons All down her back back back)

Tongue Tower titillates tier tops: Tongue Tower tessellates tesseract plateau (three windows three willows hell hail stones earth cleansed with earthquakes) Tongue tower tempts Trinity: Tongue Tower tents tribulation (three wizards three weavers elaine fire elemental elaine erects earthworks fire fantastic)

I was just wondering because I have also felt drawn to the divine feminine energies, says Asia. But I’m starting to think that it’s because that’s a side of me that I never really learned how to express, and I grew up in a male dominated world. Feminine traits were not valued. My mother was also sometimes cruel, insults and put-downs masquerading as kindness, she says. I think I’m drawn to the divine feminine energies because my life has been dominated by women, I say. You have difficult relationships with a lot of your family in general, I say. That makes sense, says Asia. I’m also beginning to understand that my family does what they do because they are afraid. My mom put me down because of her own insecurities. She wanted me to be better than her, and all she did was pass down the insecurities. My sister and her husband were afraid of someone they love straying from the straight and narrow path… In what ways do you think that feminine energy has shaped you? Do you ever crave more masculine energy? she says. I had primarily female friends for a long time, I say. I think it shaped my interests – in writing and art and music. I’m not sure what it means for me to be more masculine, I say. That’s fair, says Asia. I was a tom boy as a kid. I didn’t want to be “girly” because girls were weak and no one takes girls seriously. Plus girls weren’t supposed to play with bugs and climb trees. One time for Halloween I wanted to be a ninja so my parents bought me a ninja costume. I was covered from head to toe. I went around collecting candy and someone said “Here’s your candy little boy.” I angrily responded with “I’m a girl” and snatched the candy out of their hands, says Asia. […] As a girl there is a pressure to be meek and humble in church. From around 14, I willingly put on a dress for the first time, and at about 16, I wanted to be a good Christian girl. My sister was quiet and shy – I wasn’t. I put her on a pedestal and hated myself for not being like her, says Asia.

Sometimes valued as insults felt where and to side that learned feminine (And that you might make the male and female be one and the same, so that the male might not be male nor the female female) Male and that’s think not to masquerading and I’m was felt to a never drawn feminine (See, I’m going to attract her to make her male so that she too might become a living spirit that resembles you males. For every female element that makes itself male will enter the kingdom of heaven.)

I repeatedly encounter a woman who always wears a transparent male and goes completely man For every female elemental erects Elaine earthworks and Elaine Elohim

I have too much new wine so I speak split tongue spirit: spirit fork vision stone spoon and another quart of that crystal I speak new mine quartz and I once only rush reveal Krystal I reveal tongue vowel experiment, the alphabet of Taryn Towers I reveal vowel experiment and vowel experimental or Or pentecostal and or holy ghost or and her stone towers

I speak with a different tongue: a human tongue and a lilith tongue


I Fill With New Wine

I fill with new wine     I fill with new wine wind rush ruach (spirit rhizome and whiskey word)     I fill with new wine and the plural Human One gathers in one     I fill with new wine and new form (form without form and figure without figure)

I fill with new wine my head as a skull cup Krystal strikes my skull with great vision (crocodile jaw garden trowel) My skull snaps ocean and swept ocean: my skull sweeps sound ocean continuum Ocean opera opens skull skull alligator mistaken for crocodile ben hinnom: ocean opens skull operetta planes mistaken for stars or shooting skulls (Ben body swings skull sin sinew sine sign swing)

I drink the new wine of crocodiles and holy spirit alligators snap ruach glossolalia. I drink new wine and I speak strong as strange languages: I speak sermons to the dead and I understand alive and death languages. I drink new wine and the languages overlap languages and languages contaminate languages with other languages. Wine languages devours itself wine languages, and the wine includes the cup of my skull. I grow my skull anew: crocodile skull and alligator skull snapcase.

Are you spooky? I say. I’m wearing a sweater with skulls on it, says Asia. Whose skulls? It’s yarn, she says. I was hoping you’d say they are effigies or particular people. Someday I want to harvest my own skulls, I say. How would you do that? Maybe I will pickle some heads, I say.

Spooky A sweater with skull Particular people Make the skulls Harvest my skulls Pickle Heads

Spooky with skulls particular people make the skulls Spooky a sweater with particular people Harvest pickles: harvest a sweater with pickles Particular pickles make the skulls Pickles harvest particular people

I fill with new wine the wild skulls of particular people. I harvest the wine from their own bodies and use it as brine for pickling. I pickle alligators and crocodiles and I wrap their bodies in sweaters. I pour new wine into new wineskins stretched over spooky skulls and pickled heads.

My skull strikes strange stochastic My skull skin skins stench stomach or constellation drone I drone and drink new wine: I drink goose stomach grotesque (I drone goose stomach grotesque my body crab bake bisque) New wine birth bisque bisque doll goose drink (bisque-head german doll with glass eyes and ball-jointed composition body, c. 1920) My skull strikes heron heroin and I don’t know just where I’m going but I’m going to try for the kingdom if I can My skull strikes blue heron blue aporia and autoerotic asphyxiation / my head snaps terrible sonnets

I feel my skull from the outward inward: I experience my skull outer darkness trying for the kingdom if I can. I feel my skull crevasses creep out in search of gospel wine. I listen to Grant Green’s Feelin’ The Spirit and it swings Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho and Nobody Knows The Trouble I’ve Seen and my skull swings hard blues too. I feel my skull outward sometimes I feel like a motherless child but I’m going to try for the kingdom if I can. I feel the kingdom from my skull toward outer darkness.

I fill with new wine new form (form without form and figure without figure)

I fill with new wine a work that resembles no other, not a scherzo, nor a sonata form, not a theme and variations, not even a rondo

I fill with new wine the Human One all gathered to one place and I displace spirit in the desert I displace dance desert not barren but sun scorches skulls I displace desert an interlocking of infinite sketches, but which a complex shimmer births dizzy death and resurrection

I fill with new wine the Human One all gathered in one place and I displace spirit in desert I displace door break inverted dome in desert winter hazard / Human One hit with a halo of holes

My skull strikes blue heron jazz blues and I burrow into blue I birth blue blues and my skull snaps terrible sonnets My head shakes sewer line lashing (it takes three full rotations to remove a human head due to the skin’s elasticity) My skull squirms a revertible area of hysteria

I have a love hate relationship with the word divine, says Asia. It kind of suggests something other worldly but to me, a divine experience is when you make a connection with the world around you. When that lonely being in your head realizes that there is more than what is inside your skull and you aren’t actually alone. I don’t want to say that humans are divine because that implies that we are set apart, like other creatures aren’t divine, like other things aren’t divine.

There is more than what is inside your skull / my skull squirms a revertible area of hysteria Inside my skull and outside my skull, halo holies hour roses

I displace my skull in the text and textures of text time, and I spelunk into my skull splatterpunk texture Book in time and of time, and I span suspensions outward, outside the Book and outside there is no outside the Book. I travel my skull as cave and desert, and I find fragments of my conversations with Asia in the sand and in the limestone. The conversations and dialogues snap crocodiles and alligators, and sometimes the conversions displace a desert place and a desolate place, and other times, becomes the brine for pickling text and new wine in new wineskins stretched over my malformed skull. I tinker with voices textures textures and I piece our dialogue desert dance (I write the rhizome of danced poem and ecstatic play – I play dance desert not barren but sun scorches – I play an interlocking of infinite sketches, which by a complex shimmer births dizzy death and resurrection).

I fill with new wine the Human One all gathered to one place and I displace spirit in desert I displace desert door in desert and desert / human one hit with a host of holes I host holes hours rose wine: five sturdy leaves surrounding the rose Five sturdy leaves surround sound struck skulls I fill with new wine five sturdy leaves skull lamppost I fill lizard sill light soil and wine awake in piano wings / work awake whistle music I whistle music wine snow new spirit / holy spirit whistle white wedding dress monochrome paintings I fill with new wine



Krystal Kosmogonia Seduces Chaos

Krystal kosmogonia seduces chasm and chaosmos

Here’s what I want you to read, I say to Krystal. Organized chaos or chaotic organization? says Krystal. You don’t like it? It sounds like an existential crisis. I could be wrong. It can still be made into a rap song, so it’s definitely poetry, she says. What rap music do you listen to? I say. I don’t know really, she says. I just know that rap and poetry go together. I ask because I have had multiple people say that, I say. It has a cadence to it, says Krystal. Angry undertone. I thought it was one of the best things I wrote, I say. I thought you’d love it. It is really good, she says. It’s powerful. You could turn your work into a poetry book, and someday English majors will be forced to read it and write papers about it. Because their professors will have hard ons for it, says Krystal. Wow, that’s the sweetest thing you ever said about my writing, I say. That’s exactly what will happen, says Krystal.

Organized chaos or chaotic organization

Organized chaos or chaotic organization: I door to the soul of oceanic birds and I fill chaos with new wine I fill organized chaos with new wine wine chaotic organization I fill with new wine wind rush ruach (spirit rhizome and whiskey word) I fill with new wine door plural human one gathers her chaos Human one gathers chaos oceanic birds

Organized chaos or chaotic organization open door Krystal kosmogonia Krystal chaotic organizes sea slug cosmic sea and sea streams sequins bedazzled body without organs (Jeweled beetle body cosmic ocean) Cosmic ocean cosmic sound cut krystal Sound cut cosmic sprawl seesaw krystal

English professors are so weird, says Krystal. Are you saying my writing is weird? No, I’m saying professors are weird for getting hard ons over poetry – but it happens if it’s good, she says.

Krystal slings knots Kingdom (a highly erotic and racy comedy: THE LUSTFUL VICAR plus THE SINFUL DWARF a young bride alone with an evil dwarf) Krystal slings knots cosmic string and strings seesaw summer sensual body celestial lucky strike Krystal strikes my skull with great vigor / her crocodile skull strikes my skull

Someday I will write an autobiography, says Krystal. Can I write about you? Yes, you can, I say. It can be a collaboration if you want, she says. I give you full permission to write whatever you want about me, I say. If you want me to collaborate, I will – I would be happy to collaborate with you. The garden trowel will make an appearance, she says. I knew it! I was going to say you’re going to write me as a terrible asshole because I am. No, I will come off as the asshole. I’m the one that threatened to hit you, she says. I mean I was very mean to to you and difficult and abusive most of my life, not just the garden trowel incident, I say. Sometimes, says Krystal. You’ll be writing about that too, right? I say. Am I such a big part of your life you’d want to collab on your autobiography? The parts that you’re in, yes, she says. It’s a lot of parts. I think it would be cool to write it as a movie script though, she says. Can I be egoistical and say I’M SUCH A BIG PART OF KRYSTAL’S LIFE I AM WRITING HER AUTOBIOGRAPHY WITH HER? Sure, says Krystal.

Krystal strikes through my skull with a garden trowel and the trowel snaps crocodile jaws Krystal’s jaw joins my jaw new wine ocean My jaw joins her ocean and crocodile jaws sweep ocean new wine

Organized chaos or chaotic disorganization: I door to the soul of oceanic birds Organized chaos or chaotic organization: Krystal sins to salvation stripped nude for ben’s beheading (Krystal beheads me with a garden trowel) Organic chaos or chaotic organization: I fill with new wine

What the door has in common with chaos: open and radically open oceanic birds Cosmic ocean cosmic sound Krystal

Krystal kosmogonia seduces chasm and chaosmos

I Door To The Soul Of Oceanic Birds

Author's Note: I am back from my sabbatical and will be back to updating daily


I door to the soul of oceanic birds I door to the birds chamber of dew

I door to the soul of celestial birds and birds bare nude kingdom (She channels cinder and kingdom) (She channels cinders and kingdom Knot Krystal slinks Kingdom Krystal kiss king knot cozy Krystal sensual birds slips lips)

I door the soul of oceanic birds Birds strewn nude stew, a pornographic kingdom (Krystal slips sensual lips, her sonic sucking sonorous) I door to the soul Krystal pinks naked the queer crypt

Door kingdom Poor ki kin kk crypt Kingdom Kin door bird ki keep kingdom

I always confront the door. I confront the door and I confront the door. Door always appears confrontation. Door confronts and I adore the door. I adore the door closed and open, and an open door confronts. An open door confronts and a closed door confronts. I always confront the door and I adore the door whether closed or open. I open the door and close the door in cycles and every cycle confronts.

I door the soul of oceanic birds Door to Of Oceanic
Door to of oceanic birds door Door to of Birds door
I door to the soul of the door confronts Door to of Oceanic

The first episode of Pomni is obsessing over this secret door because she wants to escape but then finds out that the door itself was made by the ring leader because he knew they wanted an exit but never finished it so there wasn’t anything inside, and even if he did finish it, it wouldn’t have gone anywhere, says Asia.

Obsessing over over this secret door Door itself has made wanted an exit Anything inside It wouldn’t have gone anywhere

This secret door itself was made This secret door wanted an exit Anything inside this secret door have gone anywhere

I door to the soul of oceanic birds I door to the birds chamber for dew Dew dins Krystal naked quarter tones tonal kingdoms Her kingdom kiss stress nuclear seduction Soon door Krystal sins to salvation Krystal strips nude for Benjamin’s beheading

I knock holes into the door and the light that pours through strides new language. I punch holes into door ocean and dark pours through to chamber of dew, miniature lakes lurking surface kingdoms. I look at lacunae of the Kingdom and its languages slot into the lacunae of the door.

I door the soul of oceanic birds I door the birds chamber for dew Dew oil drop desert excited woman waving watercolour (Krystal brushes kosmogonia khora chaosmos) I wave watercolours Krystal khora chorus and I arrange soul choirs Souls sop bowl nail burr her hot broth / snow hell Soul sip sour cream sup cross leaves leaver loft mothlight

I door the soul Krystal kosmogonia krystal kosmogonia grasp khora chaosmos Krystal kosmogonia gin and tonic genesis: ground up orthogonal ouroboros genesis

This door decides contradictions. This door drives dives divergent contradictions. This door dandelion bulldozes chaos and door open closed chaos. The door itself initiates me into chaos and cosmogonia. The door cosmogonia gulls bird gulf Krystal kosmogonia. Krystal’s kosmos gores genesis from the ground up: door and door and door chaos.

My daughter has been sleeping with us and it’s been rough, says Asia. A few nights ago she woke up at like 3 am crying so I brought her to our bed. The night after she figures out how to open the door to her bedroom so she just went to our room. Then last night she just fell asleep in our bed, she says.

Night after Figured out Open the door Fell asleep

Night after fell asleep Figured out night after After figured out open the door Out open the door out open the door after Out open the door after Out open the door after Out Door after Out door door

Poor chaos opens out open the door chaos Door opens Krystal kosmogonia ground up groups genesis Krystal ground up groups Thomas the Twin gemini you’ll shoot your eye out kid

Door chaos opens Krystal ground up group get up gruppen galaxies Door after kosmogonia cracks Krystal glut punches Khaosai Galaxy Krystal glut puncher glue punchline (Krystal kosmosgonia gum dome gum sea slug / sea slug cosmic sea streams sequenza body) Door after open chaos chaosmos kosmogonia

What this door has in common with this door: chaos. What this door has in common with itself: chaos and chaosmos, and the chaosmos of Krystal kosmogonia. Chaos calls from chaos (deep calls to deep at the noise of her waterspouts, all her waves and billows have gone over me). What this door has in common with my Book and my Body: chaos, and chaos X chaos. Birds of chaos stir Book whirlwinds. Chaos counters umbra umbilical cord underworld: chaos feeds Book and Body.

What this door has in common with this door: chaos and the chaos of oceanic birds I door to the kingdom of oceanic birds I door to the birds of the chamber of dew

Repetition Reveals Revival

Author's note: originally written in 2018




Repetition reveals revival.

Repetition reveals revival, the rude resurrection. Repetition repeats resurrection, a resurrection-for-once and resurrection-for-eternity, and the repetition-in-resurrection rings particular and universal. Repetition-by-resurrection ribs creation and re-creation, two and one simultaneously, and event resounds events, a double knot and dual knowing.

Repetition reveals revival. Repeat resurrection end to end, an ending eros ouroboros double echoes agape. Repeat resurrection in-the-beginning to in-the-beginning, and Logos legos Logos, the legend left mapping automorphically. Auto Adonai Auto Adonis agape assaults repetition do you truly love me (feed my sheep: fair flesh to the shepherd).

Repetition reveals revival. Reveal rock: reveal remnant: reveal revenant. Revelation hosts ghosts Yahweh Saboath and Sabbath of Sabbaths. Reveal Christ and Messiah: Mary merged with Jesus, kenosis-conception-incarnation, and Mary overshadows the mythology. Revelation remembers Woman of Apocalypse and Woman of Babylon, dual automorphisms, and she she convents Christ's covenant, two Mothers and two Messiahs universal and particular.

Repetition reveals revival. Revive rock: revive remnant: revive revenant. Revival and Revelation romance and remember, laughing lovers, and they crown circle Christ ouroboros creation and re-creation (New Adam New Eva). Adam-Eva seeds serpent Christ and Christina, and revelation reveals unity and totality the Gospel Godhead. Adam-Eva cross-converge Christ-Sophia, and every Sophia babylons babies Christina, the Church of Mary. Revive Church: Revive Community, and communion commingles flesh-and-blood kenosis-conception-incarnation (Man with Woman and Man within Woman).

Veils: Voids: Visions

Author’s note: an old piece written in 2020


Veil: veil and unveil, the revealing revelation. Revelation rounds grounds the fierce foxes. Foxes fix and find the felt fuse floating flesh, resurrected bodies at Parousia.

Void: irrupt and erupt, the revel in rupture. Rupture rabbles gravel the volcanic debris debriding wounds and waste. The wound engages myriad and multiplicity, through the glass darkly, and the spear heals fully.

Vision: visit and visage, the vaulted valley. Valley glows and flows Godhead, a Trinity tributary and Divine delta in the image of Male and Female beyond Benjamin the androgynous Adonai. Adonai enfolds and unfolds flesh to flesh, the indeterminate Incarnation.

Return Body Burn

Return body burn

Return body burn Return body burn boast desert music Ben body burns discontinuous desert music: return for you cannot you may not be sure

Ben body burns through Taryn-Translated-Tower desert music Tower transfigures Tower blonde body Tower (My body burns beast baptist and body babylon My body burns baby benjamin) Ben body burns desert music tower thirsts tower (tower thieves Tower Taryn)

I breathe my body embodied and my breath decays quick quick over the cusps cornering my body. I breathe through my body births breaks – births beakers – births breakers alchemy or chemistry – my body bread broken. I breathe my body these are breaks break it up break it up break it up. My body does decay although sometimes delayed, and time and chance still works over my body desert. I breathe my age: my aging and decaying drops limbs into the desert music (my body horror becomes pieces of the desert orchestra). I breathe my body embodied burning desert and burning orchestra.

Return body burn Return body burn boast desert music: return for you cannot you may not be sure (I embrace the horizontal broken line I embrace the horizontal broken line) Return body burnt horizontal to and through desert / return body burn desert noun neon nude (I return nude horizontal: broken line broken obelisk)

I risk my body and it braids Book concave. Body always risks experiments excess buzzing bottle death. Body risks the horizontal broken line and double horizontal broken line. Body braids broken horizontal skipping stones and stones sap my body sticky horizontal horizontal horror this my body hammerhead sharks.

(I risk my body sharks and sharks braid Book concave sharks. Body always involves sharks – hammerhead sharks, bull sharks, buzzing basking sharks next to whale sharks. Body sticks sharks in horizontal broken lines and lines live lima luna sharks solar stones. Solar sharks strum my body bright starfish and the strings vibrate horizontal broken lines. Cosmic strings snap holes in my body hammerhead sharks defects.)

Return body burn direct desert noun: direct desert neon nude Nude I strip my body returning sharks and sharks returning body swimming Nude and neon opens noun in the way Duchamp’s snow shovel points to his urinal

I’m having trouble detangling complicated emotions, I say. I am having some creative trouble, finding motivation and inspiration to work on writing. It carries over to me feeling not good about myself, and because I don’t feel good about myself, I question the relationships I’m in. This is all interior though in my brain, and nothing has changed in my relationships, I say. You should have days where you take a break from writing and research, says Asia. Maybe once a week and you do something else. Learn a new recipe, play a game, hang out with people, do some art. Something – but not writing. Explore other ways of “being productive,” says Asia. I will try, I say. It’s difficult because it’s one of those routine things I have been doing to prevent from feeling anxiety and disrupting the routine feels very anxiety-inducing, I say. But it’s causing you anxiety, says Asia. Sometimes you have to experience pain and discomfort in order to a better place. You’ve been struggling with this hangup about writing and self worth and feeling productive for awhile now. You’ve gotten better but I really think you need to add other ways to feel successful, for your own health, says Asia. Yeah, I know you’re right. Do you think my negative self worth is caused by my writing? No, but you get the two tangled up sometimes, she says. I was just thinking that if you had other baskets to spread your idea of success into them if you are feeling bummed about writing, you could be like “but I did good with this,” says Asia.

(Return my body risk: perhaps the greatest risk would consist of a long Sonny Rollins sabbatical)

Return body burn between body burn and Christina kisses chrism Christina kisses chrism char and christ by charis She charges charismatic / Christina charges coltrane changes stations of the cross Return body chew and burn by chaos (she centers chaosmos)

I return to body burning and I refuse to sabbath. I return to my body written and rewritten, and I always write. I write to survive, a written eating and drinking. I return to body written serpent sequenza and rewritten burning biome. I do not sabbath but eat and drink the written fires: I burn and chew by chaos. Christina centers the Book chaosmos, burning crater chaos.

Return body burn Return desert noun neon muse red museum and archive (Nude muse mage ben adam Adam agon agent alchemy)

Return desert noun neon en now skull entrances train trances Trance return torch trace re return ra ark sun ra raw lamb ham hambuckers Return hat stop hart hambucker bird head beakers

Return rabbit rent red god breakdown this door dark in dome

Return rabbit redhead god grabs guts turn guts desert I drum desert down this door dark in dome I drone desert drum dome grappa god glass god dark in dome

(I drum dome down desert this door dome door I drum dark in dome drum dome dark in dome and drums run rum gloss god glass dome)

Return body ben Christina kills Christina church and chapel by candle She channels chaos kindred and kingdom

I attempt to find an appropriate Christina conversation to enter here, but all the ones I’ve archived feel overly sentimental, overly passionate. The experiments to find novel techniques to create text anew and text chaotic tends to eschew any kind of sentimentality or direct passion. I feel silly trying to express my grief over the Kindred using fragment-constellations or aleatoric rearrangement of texts. Future experiment: write excessive passion and grief to the point of bathos and camp and unintentional humor.


I find some old messages from Christina. We would have been 23 at the time.

I cannot be overinvolved with our autobiography, says Christina. It is not the main focus of my life. There are just so many urgent things that need my attention. But I like reading your excerpts. I like writing bits and pieces here and there. It’s an important part of my down time. But I can’t take it over. I just don’t have the time / strength / whatever. I will not stop writing because I think it’s a good solid idea. If that doesn’t count as my heart being in it enough, then… I guess we can stop? It’s up to you really, Christina said.

It stopped being Christina and Ben’s Double Autobiography and eventually became The Book. I do not know exactly when this happened; I eventually recognized the Book continued on without Christina writing it, and now it continues on without Christina in my life. The Book continues foreground and background and I follow Asia’s advice to diversify my creative involvement to include visual arts as well as other forms of writing outside the Book. The Book persists presently excessive.

Return body burn Christina kisses chrism Christina chews and burns body by chaos She centers Book crater calve chaosmos

Return body burn return closes you is thy I you Return closes you rhizome pillar pipette apophatic tobacco

Closes you camera return ban barn burn alarm closes you

Return closes you shot who trigger nyx night egg nocturne

Return body burn I return to the desert door bodies burning bodies (Christina kissing Christina)

I Prophesy An Experimental Door

I return to the desert door     I return to the desert door independent rotating discs sour cream dollops (the only emperor is the emperor of ice cream)

I return to the desert door and Taryn drags tunnels Taryn digs tunnels time times half a time Taryn towers travel and travail Taryn births bellies and beetles and she breastfeeds battlefields itself baring breasts Breasts brutalize breasts Taryn drips tumors angelic

Taryn drips tumors angelic (wind windy wings all eyes all entries all entrails)

Taryn drips tumors angelic (tower churches tower congregations tower kingdoms)

I return to the desert door with multiple interdependently targetable reentry vehicles and I write with the thematic subtlety of a Metal Gear Solid video game (A brief aside: my experience with Metal Gear Solid changed the way I thought about video games. Its story and some of its more odd video game mechanics, such as Psycho Mantis’ fourth wall breaking, expanded my notion of what video games could be. Metal Gear Solid 2 further did so, with more fourth wall breaking and metafictional themes concerning the relationship between player and in-game protagonist. To reconsider what the Book can be – ergodic literature like House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski or the artist book Agrippa (A Book of the Dead) by William Gibson, Dennis Ashbaugh, and Kevin Bergos Jr. – more work to be done, and more work to do, and more work to be done. Here the transformation of the Book through a transformation of the mind and body: this is alchemical and mystical work. I fear a writing sabbatical but one might be necessary in order to work through and research different ways of conceiving what the Book is and can be. Arvo Pärt and Sonny Rollins took sabbaticals and emerged through the other side with renewed creative vigor and creative inventions. I want to write to discover, like John Coltrane or a creative mathematician who dreams of the deep correspondences, and I have to acknowledge the possibility of a long sabbath and prolonged meditation on (im)possibilities of the Book.) I return to the desert door with multiple independnetly targetable reentry vehicles and door implodes iconoclasm.

This might be a dumb question, but do you still agree with this conversation I sent you earlier? I say. I’m thinking of rewriting and reincorporating this conversation into the Book in experimental ways: “I think art and storytelling and mythmaking are all integral to this prophetic process. Prophecy is art and narrative is Ben and Asia. I think I prophesy to us as well and in doing so it speaks to others in prophecy too, I say. I think I would agree with that, says Asia.” Yes, I still agree with that, says Asia.

I return to the desert door and the door experiments prophetic excess (door processes share human bone processes) I return to the desert door to drag experiments through hinges, and in my pursuit of stretching the Book form, I have not prophesied the friendship of Ben and Asia through the same experimental and creative anarchy (our friendship experimentally creates and I slowly learn to express the anarchic creativity of our friendship in different and novel ways) To experiment in the Book is to prophesy a flexible and creative and experimental friendship – even a chaotic friendship, that is a friendship from chaos, the pure potential for creation

I return to the desert door re ra ur ri ri return tur urn ray any return (I return rhizome ray solar rerun) Rerun desert noun neon en now in Return neon en new et runner (I make the inner outer and the male female)

Return re run body burn (beasts bodies babylon drinking crushed Christs consuming crucified Christinas) Return body burn boast different music: return for you cannot your way not be sure Return body burn take your song which drives all things out of mind with you to be the other world

Return body burn different noun now nude (the way Duchamp’s snow shovel points to his urinal) Desert noun nude muse return red museum and archive (nude muse mast ben adam adam agent alchemy)

I return to the desert door and my belly burns god neon. I devour god and his guts turn sour in my stomach (beasts bodies babylon drinking crushed Christs consuming crucified Christinas). I return to the desert door and door transforms into demiurge. The door-demiurge twists tongues trap my open belly. Door transmutes and transforms Taryn devil and diabolical. Taryn reveals herself door demiurge trickster and traitor. Taryn demon and daemon draws out my belly door god guts.

Return desert door noun neon en