My body bewilders me but I prophesy my queer body I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the bone fire My body keeps the bone fire burning watchtowers
Body ben begin bottle cauldron cross Ben body begin bottle isosceles bitches brew street beach Beach besides bitches brew button body bartok pizzicato myth metal
Ben body bitches brew bishop bridge blood the chaos of the lower elements confused and undigested mass mixed remix compact magma myth I myth ben body the four elements fight against each other…
I fight against the elements of the text, the elemental text and text in textured elements. I fight text against elements, and the text fucks with me. Text types textless blood types no book but my body burns with suicidal abandon. My body burns text self-flagellation and text transforms my body to pure carbon, ash element ash I need cash now. I fight the text and text overcomes me.
My body bewilders and the text bewilders My body sometimes identical to the Book baffles and bewilders, and it balloons impossible impossible balloon abyss
My body bewilders bitches brew beach and the book beach chaos of the lower elements Text confuses mixed with confusion the cauldron and caldera cooking text (text cooks my skull coagulates into hermetic text)
The text fights against text the four elements fight against each other
Ben body battles beyond bird beak blue the horse by the cemetery
My body bewilders and I prophesy my queer body bowl skull disemboweled ergodic gethsemane (ergot erotic imp elements element to pimp a butterfly)
The Book bewilders and its text disintegrates in wilderness. I do not know its wild or where its wild but I swear whipped into the Apophatic Book. I understand neither the Book nor my body but I fight against its continuity.
What do you like about the Book? I asked Christina. I don’t want to sound contrary to Asia but I DO like the T.S. Eliot-ness of it, said Christina. I like parsing it. I like the crunchiness of passages. It’s a summit and I enjoy climbing it. There’s value in appealing to lateral thinking, but I like some depth too. And I also like that sometimes when I inquire, I’m wrong about how I read something. Or especially when you’re like “That was just nonsense” when I found deep meaning in something, said Christina.
The Book bewilders me and my body appears nonsense. I fight against the Book, but it disintegrates into non-event and non-happening and I don’t know what to do with this language. Follow the language and Book to hell, I suppose. I prophesy from hell and with hell.
My body bewilders me but I prophesy my queer body I prophesy my pornographic body burning and burning etched earth elements erotic left-handed body. Left-handed body hammers earth earth eruption fire body intensities (the element arranged according to the degree of their densities / dense ben bodies dense ben bodies from outside to inside earth water air fire)
My left hand body etches earth / left hand time hell cell shell spears My left hand body unearths earth / left hand hold hag egg my hands distract My hands distract left sift shift sediment momentum missile left
My body bewilders a wild Book Body and I prophesy Book Body bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh Ben body son of man amasses mass center white mass and black mass: insect walls the center assembles gold sun golds suns
My body massive amassed Book black mass and white mass. My massive body machines Book mass amulets with mullets. My body scripts papyrus minuscules and illuminated miniatures. My body aggregates masses and miracles. The center of my body moves masses.
Ben body son of man mass center white mass and black mass: insect mass crater assembles gold sun golds suns I cut comic open named body primal naming (naming a primal language happening and I happen into and onto names) I happen into and onto name: names her name dripped enamel paint onto unprimed canvas / crane craft crevasse
I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the bone fire My body happens onto and into name and I prophesy her name: I prophesy her names bewilder and the syllable drip action paintings paintings passenger pigeons
I have a student who was being a brat, says Asia. Being a little stinker and calling me by my first name and saying dramatic things so I just matched her energy and she got frustrated. She would be like, “You’re a terrible teacher.” I would say, “Yeah, I’m the worst teacher.” Then she would say, “You’re a monster.” And I was like, “Yeah, I have six eyes and scales.” She would say something like, “I’ll snatch your soul” and I would say, “I don’t have one.” Then she would complain that I was walking too slow in the hallway so I started walking dramatically slow and she was like “MRS. ____!”.
I name experience: I name as experiment eureka and ecstasy I name experiment experience enthusiasmos open envelope coupe raptor I name experiment exceeds experiment eros echo eros I experiment echo eros echo solar anus immediate expenditure experiment antinomian loophole deliria
My Body Bewilders As My Body Beguiles
My body bewilders me but I prophesy my nude queer body I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the bone fire My body keeps the bone fire burning watchtowers
My body keeps the bone fire burning watchtowers (Watchman, how much longer the night? Watchman, how much longer the night? The watchman replies, Morning has come, and again night. If you will ask ask; come back again.)
My body bewilders me but I prophesy my nude queer body: flesh finger foam flesh farm swarm body infestation My body bewilders body horror infest body automatic insects inside exquisite corpse Corpse stresses summertime blues accents aleph beguiles body breath My body bewilders bruised body blades body breath cut italic plaza hazard / hazard hazmat happenings
I prophesy my nude queer body hazard happens hundred bodies My body hazard happens hundreds halos solos improvisation tenor saxophone
My body bewilders as my body beguiles. I feel my body as a form of witchcraft, a crafted raft body horror and I live the horror of my body and I forgive the horror of my body because it is my body. I live my body a horrific prophecy and a prophetic burning. I adore and abhor my body in its witchcraft.
My body bewilders me but I prophesy my nude queer body
Do you wish I was different? I say. I like you just he way you are, says Asia. I just wish you would stop torturing yourself, she says.
I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the bone fire My fiery body improvises tenor taryn Fire body improvises fire body taryn tenor saxophone solo hazard halo My flesh fathers blossoms and haphazard blossoms: my flesh furthers blossoms particle physics hypomania (particle physics hammer hypomanic abyss sine similar sorcerers) My body stresses sorcery and similar witchcraft, an uncrafted and eternal fire: my body sorcery blossoms uncrafted bone fire further fires
I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the bone fire My bones sorcerer steal pine skull piccolo or slower bowed vibraphone: boned bow vibraphone vertical body blossoms breath boat boomerang alligator
What is Ben without God? I say to Asia. What is Ben prophesying without Christianity?… Benjamin alchemist, fool, and magician. Benjamin healer, mystic, and philosopher. Without god but with unconditional love. My body saturated and immersed by love: the love of KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rainforest and the love of WRITTEN and CREATION… It’s prophesying unconditional love without God – the love my friends have for me and the love of writing and creating itself, I say. Sounds like a pretty good thing to prophesy about, says Asia. I don’t think unconditional love would exist if it was only up to god and not us, she says. For you, unconditional love exists among humans for humans? I say. It definitely doesn’t exist with god, says Asia. And god didn’t understand it until he became human. He had to become mortal and flaws. Our flaws perfect us, our finiteness makes us infinite. When we look at others we see ourselves and then know love, says Asia. I was thinking about it last night because I was writing a conversation with Christina and asked her if she unconditionally loved me, I say. She said, Of course. I said, What if I ended up becoming a serial killer? She said, I would continue loving you while calling the police. I have been thinking about being immersed in the unconditional love of my friends… I have been trying to recognize the unconditional care you have for me in your actions and thoughts. I do think your unconditional care for me is a similar unconditional Christina has for me. I need to recognize and prophesy it, I say. Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate, says Asia.
My body bewilders me but I prophesy my nude queer body I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the bone fire My body keeps the bone fire burning watchtowers
My body babels a mourning language language languages My body babels between a mobile mourning language (woman anterior aimless arrow or antioch arrow) (The more conversant you are with time – the more time inhabits you – the more painful life is going to be) My body babels full time chronos and kairos Body prophesies bewilder language time: language times deterritorialized time taryn tatter demolition Language time last lure lost deterritorialized time (my body babels language teletype writer run ram row hip rip language rhizome)
My body bewilders and my body bewilders prophecy. This incarnational prophecy plays a time and half a time pink, and the pink seeps into a porous language. My body beyond any language constructs a series of failed bodily languages within time and without time. My body bewilders a timeless language that disintegrates into impossible bodies and I suspend bodies between sorceries.
I prophesy my nude queer body bewilders time and languages Languages ladder adder language landmark master of animals I prophesy stack ladder bodies adder anarchic raptor language (Time transmutes ladder mad gasser manual transmission Time left transmission fission fashion fashion time human Left hand time hour thundercloud turbines) I prophesy stack ladder taryn torpedo ladder lever
My body bewilders and sometimes my body holds together but the Book does not. My body with center exceeds the Book without center, but I prophesy a central Book and central language (Books and language disappear into desert vapor vapor). My body bewilders and the bone fires of the Book ceaselessly frustrate me (turning and turning in the widening gyre the falcon cannot hear the falconer; things fall apart; the center cannot hold).
In the center, the dark waters, forming the source of matter; at the edge are the upper waters, from which the divine fiery empyreum will unfold. The bright cloud in between is a state called variously earth-spirit, the spirit of mercury, the ether and the quintessence.
I work the center of the Book not center but dark waters opaque window closed door I work Book without center but open dark open water: ben body open only ben body open only other dust dust I bewilder waters made wolverine dark: waters beware move waters shove slack ray from light body left desert drift Book drift sift swift slow sand body simmer Body simmer slimmer soup water strip last supper (my body bewilders water paint thinner tin sine silver last supper)
I light my body in fire body light center uncentered: light center decentered singe tar centaur I light my body earth spirit span sparks: spark speech search hex text Text secludes flying saucer flesh six occult / Text imps ether contrails taryn jet engine orgasm
I prophesy my queer body on fire fiery earth / Earth cinch steady-state earth spirit steepens stir asymmetry
I prophesy my queer body fires within fires and the fires experiment asymmetry Experiment asymmetry asymmetrical blossom body Body blossoms asymmetrical music amsterdam aquemini
I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the bone fire. I prophesy a bone earth and earth bone and the bones build the fire. I build the bone fire and I expose my body to earth. I expose my body to the Book fire without center but my centered body exposes bone the central fire. I prophesy fire with center and without center a Book within Bone Earth. I expose earth and unearth earth building fiery bone. I prophesy my queer body and Book with and without center.
I prophesy my pornographic body burning and my body keeps the Book fire Body ben begin bottle cauldron cross isosceles bitches brew boehme beach Beach bodies button bitches body bartók pizzicato myth metal Ben body bitches brew bishop bridge blood the chaos of the lower elements confused and the undigested mass mixed (Ben body mixed undigested mass remixed compact magma myth and the four elements fight against each other)
My body bewilders me but I prophesy my queer body compact into mixed and remixed undigested mass
I Configure Lanterns
I configure lanterns I configure lanterns forms open / lanterns form open brain surgery surgical musical chairs I shape surgical musical chairs gotta catch ‘em all soda jerk charmander
Figure form flash flesh lantern human bodies burning I burn brushes bodies Vlad the Impaler incinerates light / lamprey light sea human spontaneous human combustion Figure form lights in lights body orchard blossoms: blossoms blue body bath
I configure lantern forms and from the form, light and dark-light. I configure lantern forms glitch constellations and god clusters, and my body gushes dark-light. I confess dark configurations entwined with my body. I confess configurations of crucifixions, and I confess crosses friction an open light. I configure lantern forms, a crucifixion of light immersed in dark and dark.
I configure lanterns I configure lantern forms and farms human figures (I configure lantern human figure hammerhead sharks) I confess lanterns Christmas light crucifixions I confess flash bodies burn barn abandon (abandon abaddon an additive meter) Human bodies burn lantern lamprey light sea and sea arrests hell abandon Sea lights hammerhead shark street photography
I confess a haunted human body and my body hammer haunts iron. I confess something human and my human haunts something human. I confess a haunted human, and my body hunts. I hunt my body with my body and my hunt haunts. I confess a body light.
I have a confession, says Asia. I HATE book introductions. Confession, I say. I don’t read book introductions. Me neither, says Asia. Except if the introduction is written by the author years later reflecting back – those are pretty good. I don’t trust authors, I say. Like Ray Bradbury saying Fahrenheit 451 was about the evils of television. I think Fahrenheit 451 is a little overrated and isn’t Ray Bradbury’s best work, says Asia. You like Dandelion Wine, you lush, I say. Dandelion Wine is SO good, says Asia. “Some people turn sad awfully long. No special reason, it seems, but they seem almost to be born that way. They bruise easier, tire faster, cry quicker, remember long and, as I say, get sadder younger than anyone else in the world. I know for I’m one of them.” Ray Bradbury, Dandelion Wine. His book Zen And The Art of Writing is also a treasure, says Asia. Did you turn sad awfully young? I say. Yes, says Asia.
I confess a burning body Book: I confess a burning body Book burning bush. I confess the burning and the burning and there is an angel of YHVH appears to me in the fire flaming out of a bush: the bush, though on fire, was not consumed. The Book on fire fashions the fire without being consumed. I confess a fire: I confess a human fire and a fire in figures fissures fissions. I prophesy the fire and the fire something human.
I configure lantern forms open brain surgery: I configure lantern incisions incisions sew scissor
Something Valuable In These Notes
Who knows? Something valuable in these notes?
I steal this line from Roland Barthes’ Mourning Diary. I do not know what I mourn – I don’t know what I mourn for and for what I know but who knows something valuable in these notes. Something valuable and I do not know but now I mourn. I mourn something or another and an other some valuable notes. I note line and line sampledelia and plunderphonics. I mourn something or this thing thin tent mourn.
Who knows something valuable in these notes I know and I know desert death I know desert death decades dew differ dance death: deciduous death drastic detail detail Who knows some detail and these notes detail din detector delete I differ difference demand desert
Something valuable in these notes and I detail notes. I detail notes and notes differ difference. The notes demand desert an undifferentiated desert difference and the desert differs a desert detour. I sample something valuable available in these notes and the desert plunders. I steal this desert from Roland Barthes.
I drink the notes of the desert I differ: I deter detour detail and I drink the dome of the desert
I drink dome deer detail dusk diamond Diamond drinks dome deer she embraces me She bartends strong drink and I drink the dipping desert I drink and I know desert disaster (the disaster of this writing, this dismal eclipse)
Play around with words related to your feelings and see what happens, says Asia. OK, I will do that, I say. I asked Christina this same question and she gave me a very different approach but I can combine the two. What did Christina suggest? She showed me emotion wheels and explore my emotions that way. Like figure out what I’m comfortable expressing versus uncomfortable and identify it. We got onto the conversation about what was a time I feel very loved. I said, When Asia told me FUCK YOU. Christina thought that was very funny. [Asia laughs]. I didn’t expect that to stick with you like that when I said it, she says. You said it twice on two different occasions, I say. The second time you said it partly as a reference to the first time. I think it stuck because it showed me even when you were at your angriest you still unconditionally care for me, I say. That’s fair, says Asia.
Who knows? Something valuable in these notes.
Dismal the desert diverges double and doubled darkness of desert (Christina I grieve you only desert Christina I write you imaginary letters: an alphabet only for you and this alphabet inscribes desert only desert This alphabet inscribes desert double desert and I grieve the desert only for you)
Something valuable in these notes (A god grimoire grinds human bodies to daemon Christina and moloch Christina I pass through the arms of Christina a desert only for you) (I find moloch mosaics and murals of the feast Christian churches dedicated to Christina) Who knows something valuable in these notes: the reclaiming corpse of Christina Who knows: I do not know her happenings or whereabouts but I record in these notes I don’t always know what note values or survives archaeology but I record activity: I record active and archive I perform as I record something valuable in these notes
Who knows something valuable in these notes: a mourning language A mourning language: languages mourning
I mourn. I mourn between the meander and I listen to Bell Witch’s Mirror Reaper (Drying the water Anchor me in ice Mirror of the reaper The mirror of my eyes). I mourn. I mourn a mobile language and language meanders mourning. I mourn aimlessly: an aimless arrow or an antioch arrow.
(Jesus, says Asia. I say “I actually have personal autonomy and choose to stay” and you take that and think “I should force her to leave.” Fuck you and I’ll talk to you tomorrow, says Asia. OK, I say. You clearly pointed out the absurdity in my thinking and the insulting hurtfulness of my thinking. I can’t ask forgiveness from you but if you’re here tomorrow I will be here to talk to you tomorrow too, I say. I already said I forgive you, says Asia. And I’m allowed to say that and say fuck you, says Asia.)
(I’m going to write “fuck you” on a postcard and send it, says Asia. That made me laugh out loud, for real, I say. Do you really mean “fuck you”? That’s OK if you do. At the moment, yes, says Asia. Could you help me understand why you feel so frustrated? I say. I feel I have acknowledged that you are right about this, I say. Because even though you acknowledge that I’m right, you said that you will always doubt me. Like we’re going to be stuck in some kind of limbo, she says. By doubt, I mean I am going to question you and ask for clarifications and ask for many affirmations, I say. But I think I would still need that even if you did say you unconditionally loved me. I admit if you were open to saying you unconditionally loved me, I would still probably ask an affirmation about it frequently, I say. OK, that makes me feel better, says Asia. I guess I thought you meant “I’ll never believe you.” No, I actually feel you love me often, I say. You do show me love for staying with my struggles and struggling with me, even though you say fuck you… When you said I’m going to send you a postcard that says fuck you on it, I thought you were alluding to the fact the last time you said fuck you, I told you I felt very loved by what you demonstrated, I say. I was alluding to it while also expressing frustration, says Asia. Life isn’t binary. I can say “fuck you” and still care about you tomorrow when I’m not upset anymore but it’s not generally recommended to do that, says Asia.)
Who knows? Something valuable in these notes.
I obsess with notes and language. I hyperfixate on language including the fuck you in writing and on postcards. I obsess with Asia’s fuck you and I hyperfixate on her unfixed language and languages. These two conversations with Asia happened within a month or so of each other and I adore these languages: I recognize them as a turning point for our friendship. I recognize Asia loves me even when I anger her and frustrate her, and that our friendship will survive our trials and conflicts. At the time, we decided to use the specific terminology of “unconditionally care for” rather than “unconditionally love” because Asia was afraid I could misinterpret “love” as something other than platonic; I appreciate the trust in our friendship has grown to the extent that we now interchangeably use “unconditionally care” and “unconditionally love”. Who knows – something valuable in these notes. I note our languages and we hyperfixate on a looser language and a more loving and anarchic language.
Who knows, something valuable in these notes.
My Brain Leaks Light
Light lofts dark desert cedar disintegrations Light soft loft lobs dark light and dark desert, and its light dissipates dark a desert disintegration
Light lofts dark desert desert appears disintegrating apparitions (These apparitions appear simultaneous dark and desert and desert disintegration dive drive light desperation)
I look at the light and the light appears absolute dark. Light laces my eyes deep cave dark or underneath earth complete dark. I often prefer the dark to the light and then I realize the depth of dark sloped open slow light. I see the dark and light and the light and dark, a luminous crucifixion or a beginning tehom. I begin with the dark-light a looking glass hourglass constellation, and I stretch and the stars to resemble a punctuated abyss. I prefer the dark in certain instances: I prefer the chaos if its a proper chaos and not merely a disorder.
Light lofts dark desert daggers and I disintegrate into desert with desert stab wounds My body into desert underneath, desperate light does not separate but swims singleton serpentine Serpentine dark seduces with a sundial grammar and a god name and the god grammars glamours bone gore and body shatter
My body shatters grammar god gore, and I anoint the horns of the altar gory light and gory dark My grammar body shatters guitar shutter light: my slim body fits unsure flesh fiery dark-light joinings
The first thing I noticed was adjectives creating structures, says Asia. You still put adjective noun, adjective noun. You could mix those up. Hijack haunted. […] I would be careful not to overuse any technique. If you do, you will just end up creating your own grammar. Also consider that you can use structure to break up the chaos and bring attention to certain ideas if you wanted to. Your pieces tend to be very long so you don’t want things to get lost. […] I guess I mean that amongst the anarchy, traditional grammar will look novel and stand out. And that’s what you need in long pieces, something to break it up. You don’t want it to get monotonous. […] I admit, I took my medication later than usual so I was really struggling for a minute there. I’m like “It’s 7 am and this motherfucker wants to talk about grammar,” says Asia.
Light lofts dark and light leafs dark: light lofts dark desert cedar disintegrations
I wrestle with my grammar and grammars. I invent my grammars and I want to invert my grammars but I want to betray my grammars too. I need to be unfamiliar to my grammar and language so I may discover new light / new dark. An anarchic grammar autodestructs and betrays its own grammar for the sake of a more inclusive grammar and communal grammar. The anarchic grammar of the Book must construct a grammar of perpetual process (The Book of Anarchic Grammar is the Book of Radical Community).
Light lofts dark and light leafs dark and I lake light a longer light A languid light longer leafs liquid light light lush lattices I look leaf dark liquid light and I left light dark levitations Light levitates dark or detour dark, my own detour into many deserts I detour languid light light longer liquid light lush lattices, a detour straightaway into gore god shoegaze
My brain leaks elaborate light
My brain leaks an elaborate light and open skull grammar I taste light cassette tape, an elaborate light with a long abbreviation distorting Book grammar
In the future when I’m a famous writer and people are writing dissertations about my Book, do you think critics will think I had a toxic friendship with you? I say to Asia. I was reading about Unica Zürn. She was an artist and poet and writer. Her partner was surrealist sculptor Hans Bellmer. One article I read characterized the relationship as exploitative. Bellmer used her as a muse for his surreal and often grotesque dolls, and she felt loved and justified in some way in their relationship despite their exploitation. That they loved each other but often with negative consequences. Her life didn’t well… It made me think when my work is looked back on how people will write articles about the relationships of the Book. Will they think they’re exploitative, good, bad, toxic? If I used my friendships exploitatively or friendly? So I was curious if you had any thoughts on it, like if someone said I exploit you? How would you respond to that? I say. I don’t know, says Asia. People don’t tend to have good takes. They might assume you were attracted to me romantically or something. Especially if it's posthumously. They might be like “wow this guy had a lot of bitches,” says Asia.
My brain leaks elaborate light and elm tree light Light lodges cedars of lebanon inside my skull / phineas gage gore my brain distorts through myth godflesh mothra My bowl body distorts through myth copper mine miscellaneous miniatures / alchemical mercury glass menagerie
My brain leaks elaborate light and light lofts dark. Light lofts dark and light leafs dark. Light lilacs dark lace lumen and lumen latex. Light locally dark dips into light lake dark. A lunar dark reveals light and local light lagoons dark. A locust light swarms local dark and lunar dark, the mixture of light and dark. Light lofts dark desert cedar disintegrations and my brain leaks elaborate light.
My brain leaks elaborate light and elm tree light My brain leaks Taryn Pouncer Taryn Distressor Taryn Smasher Tiger Taryn stabs dust up Shekinah in tasmanian devil exile Open Mouthed Taryn Whose Tread Stirs Up Dust reveals desert dusk light or rapid lantern lantern liquid lattices
Light lofts dark desert cedars disintegrations
Light Lakes Dark And Detects Dark
Light lakes dark Light lakes dark and light looms lacunae Light lakes dark Light lakes flat dark and light looms mushroom dark (light looms mushroom dark dark room more light)
Light lakes dark light lakes shake dark dark salt Light shakes dark dark salt malt vinegar light and light Light shakes dark light and light light salt, and light splashes spill light spill dark Light splashes split light spill dark martian chaos terrain mushrooms Light splashes spill light dark spill spill spinning (Christ spins dark spinning light, a light lamina lamina lacunae dark and dark fills the gap. Dark fills the space and dark casts the space, a space-filling curve. Dark curves swing salt my curved swing dark salt. I salt dark light and light dark and Book murk. I lurk murk light lagoon dark and I dip in dark salt. Light lagoons a lake dark and dark I return continual this parking lot. Parking lot pockets light, a scorched torch dark earth.) Light splashes and dark consumes salt light into dark-light
Light lakes dark and light looms lacunae dark Light earth light lakes marsh earthworks work dark central park in the dark Lake lights central park in the dark and light stars dark, a lake demand for shadows Light demands a shadow and light demands a shade sharing dark, dark and light overlapping
Light lake overlaps loom dark Light lake overlaps spark dark spirals
Light lake overlaps loom dark Light lake overlaps spark dark spirals and I last in dark and I light in dark
Light lakes dark and light layers loom dark lacunae (Something in this dark, this horizontal central park in the dark. I search something in this dark, the park dark horizontal and vertical, and the radical dark of the park opens opens / now the eyes of my eyes have opened. Central park in the dark drives dark sparks and sparks hit spirals to split dark resonance and dark vibration.) Dark parking lot resonance reveals dark resonance and dark residue I reside in dark: I reside restless dark listless light
Have you heard about the stem cell based lab grown brain organoids? says Asia. No, I haven’t, I say. Tell me about it. They are little lab grown brains, says Asia. They don’t live very long because of a lack of circulatory system and they are starting to be used in bio-processing, she says. Interesting – what are your thoughts on it? I say. I have so many thoughts, says Asia. First off, look at them, says Asia. Tamagotchi looking ass. Adorable, 10/10 would gently hold. Next thought. Do they feel pain? Are they lonely? Are they self-aware? Do they understand their existence before they are burned out and replaced? she says. Forbidden cookies, I say. The black spots are eyes that developed, says Asia. They aren’t advanced eyes but they can detect light and dark, she says. What kind of bio-processing are they used for? Like computing, she says. I see, I say. I was thinking maybe they can grow a new brain and I could get a brain replacement, I say.
I detect light and dark the large lake and large lagoon I detect light and dark large desert central park in the dark Light appears dark desert and desert darkness, and I detect dark / Light appears dark desert and desert darkness, and I detect dark I detect desert disintegrations divine drive light desperation Desperate light does not separate but swims summer lagoon serpentine I detect light and dark serpents
Light Appears In The Darkness
Light, the inexhaustible source of all things, appears in the darkness and with it the watery spirit, that began to divide into near (bright) and far (dark)
I let light in I let light in luminous letters lyrical color buzzing difference tones spectral leather I let light in infrared and ultraviolet
I let light in I let light in luminous letters letters golden ratio rectangular red buzz bodies without organs I let light in underneath ultraviolet subterranean serpent infrared (serpent snail spirit slug black madonna icons) I let light in in in alternating light: far light near light I let light in in in alternating light: bright light and dark light cosmic color continuum
I let light in I let light in continuous cosmic color unbroken sun ra river rays rhizome rhythm radioactivity (When God, El, wanted to reveal himself, He appeared as a single point) I let light point pinhole punctures camera human skin Let light point porcupine pineal gland gossamer gore
I let light in and it illuminates this speech scroll. Light possesses me as a point and my pointed cusp body cuts a new speech and a new performance, a letting in within brightly-lit performance, and I improvise ancient speech scrolls. I invent speech scrolls and novel prophecy older than a Child of Humanity and older than any elemental gods. I let light in and the light possesses me and it shimmers in my mouth prophetic power and the power of ancient poets and bards. Light floods my mouth red and blue letters and I lip the ladder of bard language and bird language, and my mouth amplifies light, light from light and light in light. My language long melody prophesies pale skull pink and invents old languages and old gods. I invent the new old and I retrocausally author scripture. I speak the magic and abyss of genesis into existence.
I let light in and light points in in in point porcupine pineal gland gossamer gore Gore sill light blue seduction (marsh light or will o’wisp alternating light word whip and light body ben woman continuum) I let light gore marsh light cool cascade / cool jazz colors or subtle odors
Let light light in in alternates light and light looks cool jazz colors comics and cosmic light looks light cool morning light jazz vowel absurd fisherman jack’s lights Light lights look I fish the light, fisherman filament red light lighter fluid falling light Lights look and I look lights let in
Light appears in the darkness and with it the watery spirits that began to divide into near and far
Jesus says: The person who is near to me is near the fire. And the person who is far from me is far from the kingdom.
Light appears in darkness and with it the watery spirits began to divide into near and far
Light appears in the darkness watery spirit dusk / the dusk in us / surprise horror from dusk till dawn
Light appears in the darkness Light appears darkness dark desert disintegrations
Jesus says: He who is near me is near the fire and he who is far from me is far from the kingdom
I let light in I let light in near the fire fire light marshlight or the will o’ the wisp alternating fires I alternate the fires and I let the fires in and light points punctured fire near my name the kingdom
We went over tone and mood and read Fire And Ice by Robert Frost, says Asia. Could you give me a summary of the tone and mood in it? I say. We broke down the poem and what the author associates with fire and with ice and how that adds to the overall meaning, says Asia. The connotations. Fire is associated with desire equals positive connotation. Ice equals hate, negative connotation. I’ve never taught this poem before so I haven’t done a deep dive in it. But I wasn’t trying to tell them what it meant. I wanted to show the process of picking a poem apart. Looking at the rhythm scheme, the symbolism, the connotation and asking how it builds meaning. I love the challenge of teaching poetry. There was another teacher in the room with me but I still took over when we went over this poem. I always bully my co-teachers out of the way when it comes to poetry. Kids hate poetry though but it’s funny watching them slowly warm up to it, says Asia.
I let the fire in and I near the fire I let fire in and I near her fire (When I am near her I am nearer things which are near her)
Light appears in the darkness and I let in luminous darkness and dark light light dark fires I let in the fires and I near her kingdom (I near the things near to her)
I live in dark. I live in dark and I let light in. I live in dark. I live in light and I amplify light in darkness. I live in dark and the light appears in the darkness, and the light dark deal dark chaos x chaos. I live in dark chaos and light chaos, and chaos cool jazz jumps amplified chaos. I keep chaos and I live dark. I keep the chaos and I live dark the light sleeps in. I seer dark chaos and I prophesy dark. I prophesy an intense dark, longer melodies near fire and ice, and I cool myself in her jazz near kingdom ice crystals. Near dark I prophesy fire and ice, and I light the fire and let light in. Dark keeps the room cool.
Light appears in the darkness watery spirit dusk, a dusk in us Light appears apparition dark desert disintegrations Light appears apparition dark delicacies of molten horror synapses (Desert disintegration dive drive light let in dark) Desert disintegration dive drive light desperation Desperate light does not separate but swims serpentine chaos / snaketime desert seduction (I swim snaketime spacetime alternate light and dark tunnels)
Light appears in darkness
Jesus said: He who is near to me is near to the fire, and he who is far from me is far from the kingdom
I near the fire and I let light in. I near the fire and let the dark in. Desert delivers dark and I always live in desert. I live full desert near desert and I live full dark.
I Bare My Body Nude Blue
I bare my body nude blue
I bare my body nude blue bare blue I nude my body blue skews nude naked blue I nude my body bare blue skews blue screwed in blue
I bare my body blue velvet and blue vellum I bare vellum velvet blue and I bare my body a ritual blue and the blue impresses blue My body bare blue ritual and I realize ritual in blue I ritual blue velvet and blue vellum my bare body
I bare my body nude blue and my blue black body burns a ritual fire and a fire performance. I bare my body in performing fire and ritual fire and I realize the fire in abundant blue. My body knows blue a fiery gnosis and I perform the ritual with blue ghosts. I bare my body nude blue with blue ghosts and we dance a performing fire velvet blue. The blue insists on a fire and seals my body blue with a fire blue gnosis.
I bare my body nude blue and the blue balloons magic bodies blue bandits
An exposed ben body experiences the Taryn theophany and the ghost slip blue An uncertain blue window ship shattered bone Blue bone blends divine names into bloody huddled blue / ben body bursts divine names blue light blue uncertain light leaflets blue leopard painted label blue
Ben body blue body bowl that morphs into a dome that morphs into a bowl
I bare my body bath blue grind beth god ben ash I bath my body beth blue and blue aleph ash Body bath blue god ash blue ghosts I bare my body bath blue ash aleph
I open blue in the ritual of my body and in the ritual of my language which radiates balloon blue. I open my body to a bloated blue and it infects my body blue balloon ritual, and I narrate a radical blue. I narrate a radical blue and I prophesy a radical blue. I realize my body as blue, my walls as blue, my windows and mirrors blue, all a religion ritual. The remembrance of the ritual stains blue.
I bare my body nude blue and I bathe nude blue ritual My bath body as blue bowl morphs into into blue dome that morphs into blue bowl Bath or bowl beth ben snakes ash tray train blue rain / Taryn tone traces train turtles (Taryn fast talks divine names turtle shutters)
I open blue in the ritual in the body and with ritual, I dream of a blue book that burrows underground. I descend underground as in a chariot vision, and the Book contains instructions for blue wheels, blue thrones, and dazzling blue clouds and blue fires. Blue itself constructs a mystical blue that machines ritual repeating ritual, a revolving blue wheel. I write with blue and I write with an invisible blue alphabet.
An undisclosed form unites letters to letters an invisible UFO light-dark
An undisclosed form writes letters with letters a blue taryn tetris and a blue taryn turmoil Tetris Taryn tunnels time window walk floor through window entirely blue I walk window through floor blue flesh text textures lion tamer ketamine
He took Thoreau’s journals and applied chance operations to them it displace the language, I say. I was telling Doc I was inspired by this. At the limits of sound and language. Doc already feels I walk the fine line between meaning and pure sound, I say. I hear what you’re saying, says Asia, but I look at that alphabet soup and my brain says “no”. No in what sense? I say. As in “No, I’m not going to try and read that, it’s too early and those aren’t even words,” says Asia. What if my writing started moving in a freer direction, freer syntax in order to express a more ineffable meaning? I say. We would have to see, says Asia. I think it’s worth a shot. I think the boundaries of language and communication should always be tested. Whether or not I understand the result is a completely different thing, says Asia.
An undisclosed form writes blue letters with other letters, a primeval alphabet and a primordial soup alphabet Letters ancient of ancients window walk floor through window a preternatural blue and a ketamine blue before blue
That is alphabet soup put in a food processor, says Asia. […] Just like you said that Mary Oliver doesn’t speak to you, garbled sounds don’t appeal to me. […] I think you do a pretty good job with the sound and rhythm in your work. I just was under the impression you wanted to keep that element and make it more cohesive. I’ve never said anything about changing that element of your work, so I apologize if I misunderstood something. […] If I was hearing it I might feel differently but reading feels like my brain is short circuiting. I never said there wasn’t an intersection. I think sound and rhythm plays a very important role in poetry, makes the words come alive. […] I never called your work weird, where is this coming from? I haven’t said anything negative about your work. I have in fact said plenty of positive things about it. Your work is interesting and that’s why I like to read it. But it isn’t easy which is why I like to be in the right headspace when I read it so I can try and give it the attention it needs. […] No, why would I do that? I would never want you to change what makes your writing its own, what makes it unique. I just also think you have important things to say, things that could change lives the way Wild Geese changed mine and want those people to be able to find it. Your poetry should stay weird and wild, says Asia.
I bare my body nude blue alphabet soup I glow a blanket blue alphabet soup I glow slow grow alphabet soup I glow god bit alphabet blanket blue / I glow alphabet soup broad blonde bone blue light I glow boron blue alphabet soup blight light like blue I glow boron blue bone alphabet bleeds airplane blue blanket alphabet aerials in the sky I glow hundreds blue bathers here where blue alphabet soup and blue blasts a long screw no wave warble I warble often blue bone alphabet and alphabet soup: I warble often bone soup blue bison blue bovine I burrow alphabet soup blue beetle weebles word blue bloody (I brandish word a bloody figure with meat refereeing blue Blue basket hatchets blue rider wrestle blue)
I bare my body nude blue and I walk window through floor flesh blue text lion tamer ketamine
A blue ketamine keeps colic quartertones / an undisclosed name amps other letters blue blue alphabet soup lithium insects I bare my body a blue ketamine alphabet soup I sculpt alphabet soup lithium not less insects but lesser and great amplified blues An amplified blue eat flesh floor window winter ghosts blue
I eat blue. I eat a greater and lesser blue, and the blue binds to cannibals and amphetamines. I eat blue and I digest an entirely blue alphabet and blue soup, and the soup cooks bath coast blue ghosts. I eat a blue and I eat a greater and less blue, and the blue bares my body nude blue. I eat blue and I bare my body nude blue.
Blue Blue Blue
I brook blue blue velvet vertical I brook book blue blue vertical vermilion (I know these colors. I know these colors unknowable and knowable, saturated blues and reds. I read the red bloody god genocide red and I birth blue bottomless pit blue. I know these colors.) I brook blue blue velvet vertical I brook book bone blue vertical birds
I know a freer blue: blue velvet vertical vertigo vermilion I know blue blue black body burn full flesh forest not finished but sealed in fire I know blue as an unknowable blue: blue black fire seals fire five day locker piece / piece as part pistol part panther
I know a freer blue: a blue flees free lines of flight Part blue panther and blue pistol blows up blue fragments (a blue dirty bomb with red and blue radiations) I burn a blue bonfire recovery and mourning (as someone dies, frenzies construction of the future – shifting furniture, etc. – futuromania)
I know a freer blue frenzy and a frenetic blue futuromania. I mourn blue like Christina baby blue was the color of her eyes. I feel my flesh in blue and I see my body in blue and I prophesy ben blue bodies and ben blue bathers. I prophesy a blue that births mourning but also the blue archive. The archive which knows blue constructs a frenzied future, a past-present blue mourning frenzied blue and I remember this blue. I remember this bare blue and barbarian blue. Blue reverberates through the archive, an open blue and chaotic blue.
I brook blue brilliant blue blue cut gemstone I brush a broad blue and I blend blue flesh frenzy (I brush my flesh frenzied impasto, a paste razor fiber rhizome) I brush blue frenzy fiber optics and an occult optics future flesh / crimes of the future (Nothing human makes it out of the future)
I brook blue frenzied construction of the future (blatant blue broad brush blue) I brook blue frenzied construction of the future, a future blue body brash building blue
I brook the frenzied construction of the future blaring broad blue blast blonde atomic bomb alarm bluebird
I bathe blue blue body blue black five day locker piece / part blue blue pieces pistols and panthers
I experiment blue. I experiment an eccentric blue. I eat blue odd blue and I bend laugh blue warble blue bend blue. I blend harsh blue blend warble word word blue ben garbage bandits. I bend blue bird harsh blue blue hue blue saturations. I blue a saturated blue and I blue bend an eccentric alabaster blue anarchy. I blue an anarchic anarchic blue. I bare an eccentric blue blue bark shark sing warble sine waves (I sing blue waves and summer myth haunted hammer smith and body hammer I experiment blue my own summer hum sum celebrating skin scaffolding). I suffocate in blue scaffolding. I suffocate skin scaffolding blue blue blue electric blue that’s the color of my room where I will live. I experiment blue and I grow fish gills which open and shut as guillotine blue. I grow gill guillotine blue blue gasoline god blue. Blue eclipses all my experiments and I live watercolour blue. I grow gasoline attic sabbath / Yahveh of Hosts. Blue eclipses YHVH Sabaoth. I grow slow blue fish fist gills grow gully and gallery god blue (I snow blue slow gills bazooka blue battalion bazooka blue blast blue bazooka joke). I experiment blue as blue eclipses bazooka hookah body hammer and smoke. The bazooka works body hammer smoothed blue. I bring open often blue ben gill frequency and I frequent open blue blast hatch line blue.
I experiment blue. I bring blue. I bring blue blue point blue. I bring blue bite bitter mara blue and I bring blue. I beg bring blue blue banded blue battering ram battery blue. I experiment blue raw blue ram raw hole happens raw blue fish banded blue. I bring blue I bring blue. I bring blue I bring blue an eccentric blue. I bring blue I bring blue broad blue bow band blue here blue.
I experiment here blue and I brand and bend blue burrows blue here blue. I burrow blue mean blue now burrowed blue crossbow bond blue bandits. I bite blue bitumen blue borrowed blue.
I prophesy brilliant blue brilliant blue here half-life bluebird
I experiment blue and I prophesy blue and I bow blue. I bow blue burning blue (bow blue burden of the valley of vision I contort vision dehiscence dimension simple incisor wounds). I contort blue hue how blue bows beach blue various megafauna multiple blues (I experiment blue bottomless pit blue Blue eclipses blue chaotic blue).
This Particular Purple
(Painted grasshoppers pulverize
this particular purple)
Purple penetrates pungent purple
Purple pupates a purple
Pink metamorphosis
Purple metamorphoses pack
perpendicular purple pink
Painted tiger moth pink puddles
(Palmetto weevils grind phosphors
into this particular purple)
Purple paints fluorescent
pink-patched and pink-
fringed impasto
Purple arborescences bloom
Manyflower grasspink
Peak plume perfumes
(Planthoppers pour punch pitcher
into this particular purple)
Purple metamorphosis plays
Pure purple pop petals
Perennial pomegranate purple
Transparent peat purple
Pulsates swamp punk pup
Pink-spotted hawkmoth purple
(Pipevine swallowtails pool panic
into this particular purple)
Vision and Mysticism 