I Don’t Invent But Invert And Subvert

I perform plate floor horizontal     Place pink projects floor horizontal pink     Pace plate pink floor horizontal pack pink     Pink pulls plate horizontal pink pink

I perform pulse floor horizontal and I dream about an orchard of trees with pink cherry blossoms: same plate pink horizontal that strays pink color immortality and pink color throne of god

I park plate floor horizontal and pink pulls horizontal floor sky no ceiling     Pink plate flat floor more horizontal and I look to the ceiling and I see the sky

Pink permeates pure pink through the sun park and I follow the pink shared shrivelight through the trees.  I follow pink and pink palms plot through tree pipe and tree thread and twins labyrinth interior to the immediate sprung forest.  Forest fawns an extraordinary pine.  Forest finds fauns an extraordinary pink and I peer pink forest maze machines human flesh.  My body pulp superimposes itself onto the orchard and doubles as the orchard and body blossoms itself pink labyrinth laid end to end horizontal.

Horizontal floor finds flesh pink light sky no ceiling     Plate pink pours floor flat more horizontal flesh and I look to the ceiling and see the sky

I look horizontal     I look hook horizontal and horizon hums microtones     Horizontal holes silverhum sessions and I hike microphone microtones Taryn bare flesh     Horizontal microphone dips horizon     Horizon dips ben body horizontal skull mango mangrove

I look horizontal kingdom of the skies and look limp landscape stones in the sky     I look walking amongst the stones in the sky     I repeat skies and stones: I repeat microphones and microphones

Show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.  I look towards Taryn cornerstone and keystone.  I look towards thistles tetragrammaton thorns horns Taryn.  I look Taryn and she takes stones.  Taryn shakes stones and shimmys the stone from one pocket to another pocket, and the stone pocket eventually pours propulsive pink and perverted pink.  I gaze at pink stones labyrinth pornographic.

I sing new sounds vision vibration vowel vibration     I sing now new sound since sin taryn and she takes stones and throws time horizontal     Sine sin Taryn transgresses and the plate shifts from one body pattern to another (You can rewrite DNA on the fly and you’re suing it to turn people into dinosaurs?  But with tech like that, you can cure cancer!  But I don’t want to cure cancer.  I want to turn people into dinosaurs.)

I sing new sound shift vision and rotate vision vibration     I sing sounds station to station and stations of the new cross     I carry cross and Taryn throws stones and her plates shift from one pink beam body pattern to another pink beam body pattern     Performance shifts granular materials most matter     Most matter body pinks beam body overtones hambone turntablism

[I share an ‘anarchic narrative’ that Asia suggested I should do: the narrative that starts with the line: The end of heavens is called Who].  I really like the excerpt and I’m excited about the this direction, says Asia.  It’s cohesive and really makes the imagery come to life.  I look forward to what you write in the future, she says.

I don’t invent anything – I keep rewriting the same Book     I don’t invent but I ink improvisation reinvention and I rewrite the same Book (it’s all one Book)     I don’t invent but I steal, plagiarize, remix, and appropriate     I receive texts, desert texts, and make texts with texts     

I receive the critiques of Asia and I explore her end of the dialectic, and although at first my ego argues and questions her critiques, I accept exploration of Asia’s chaotic narrative and anarchic narrative.  I in fact have been enjoying writing these narratives and even writing punctuation and sculpting actual paragraphs again.  I read a couple of these anarchic narrative experiments with Ann Marie and I explain Asia’s critiques, my response, and my creative thoughts going into it.  I briefly summarize them: the anarchic prose poetry exists as a constellation of cubist fragments and flat anarchic hierarchy.  They mean to illuminate and elucidate an image from multiple simultaneous perspectives.  The anarchic narratives on the other hand I currently compose are organized into a beginning-middle-end chronology: I tell a story, albeit a surreal one, and its directed towards the end.  I admit I don’t know if there is much difference between the fragment-constellations and the anarchic narratives except thinking of them as different, but because Asia sees the difference, that makes them worth exploring.  Ann Marie agrees on all points.

I don’t invent anything but rewrite the same Book with subtle shifts and shimmers of developing variation

I don’t invent but invert and subvert     I subvert Book subterranean ad tent text inverted dome (subversion is the very movement of writing: the very movement of death)

Taryn throws stone horizontal subversion: Taryn plates pink stone projected pylon pink pulses

Subversion is the very movement of writing: the very movement of death     Very movement vary stone water velvet     Water stone write very water moving text     Water write text movement Taryn thrown stone     Taryn move waters waver you get up and sleep     I get up and sleep driven mad by the sea     Stone sea steep wire tell me who you are if you nail to my car     Water write crucify volkswagen   beetle body-on-a-budget   stone body bayonet basketwork crucifixions     Subversion is the very movement of writing shuttle suburbs surreal     Stone surreal water write glass gorgon god sleeper agents

I don’t invent but invert and subvert     I write the same Book stone ink improvisation     I improvise water write towards death it’s all one Book

I get up and listen stone watery death     I get up and sleep stone and I invoke no ghosts     Invoke no ghosts but ghosts come     Ghosts arrive revolver occurrence wine can catastrophe     Wine cane earth core catacombs

I get up and sleep slow ghost Christina.  Christina strikes water stone slow ghosts and she arrives as ghosts.  In my sleep I meet Christina water dreams and her river is dreaming.  We row her rivers which drop track cave subterranean.  Rivers subvert and invert waters Christina ghost writing and I realize her rivers lead to the crypt.  Her rivers riverrun dead and ghosts and together we visit old gods and wheel the scribe beehive of their middle.  Christina does not let me return from my katabasis and I live in her crypt turn ghosts ghost host living.

Two vibrational patterns are made visible by sand and other granular materials

Vibrations vivisect my performances / I perform vibrations pink packed snow     Vibrations window pink beam body avalanche venous puncture patterns     Pattern vorpal new sound voluptuous and Christina curves valley ghosts ghost chords (I improvise ghost coltrane changes)

Patterns perform space growth spurt vibrations / vibrate water ghosts ghost spirit stones     I dream her stone awake sandpaper lizard patterns     I wake up and sleep: I embody her fantastical     I embody her ghost fantastic Book bewildering mixtures of orders and disorders     She creatures and she shamans Book sidewinder vibrations

I talk of dreams / dreamers don’t die     I talk of dreams / ghost staircase ghost bookstore     Ghost staircase of and then to and then ghost bookstore     Ghost staircase living performance ghost bookcase and Christina haunts my performance and permeable speech     She spectres my speech porous waters from wildfires     She spectres my speech and I write the waters: Christina strikes stone speech speciation and specialization     I writhe waters write continually playing / play coltrane improvisation

I speak of dreams almost as frequently as I speak of deserts: I visit both often.  Visit the dream desert and I visit the desert dream and their place and displacement emerge and converge.  In this particular desert dream and dreaming desert, I drink its dunes.  I drink its woman of the dunes and her sand summons desert daemons drum demons (she creatures: she shaman).  I drink dunes dreams itself dunes and dunes invert to reveal her sand daemon dry cave mouth.  I drink mouth to mouth, and her desert mouth devours mouths and produces additional mouths.  The mouth of the desert doubles dune dune soon sand daemons.  I continue to dream her daemons and they drive inexhaustible.

Has anyone licked your eyeballs? I say.  I know that’s a weird question but I have a story.  Why the fuck would someone lick my eyeball? says Asia.  If anyone licked anywhere near my face, I would kill them on the spot.  You sure are violent and into maiming and killing, I say.  I haven’t had coffee yet and you brought up two things that I hate viscerally, says Asia.  So in the novel Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, there’s a scene where Humbert Humbert asked to lick Dolores’ eyeball and he does, and a young Benjamin and Christina were driving one day through town, and they both had read Lolita and Benjamin asked if he could lick Christina’s eyeball, I say.  I don’t think Humbert Humbert is a good role model, says Asia.  Of course not!  But I was very deluded and a bad person then.  By bad, I mean I was an asshole, a terrible asshole.  The important part is that you are way less of an asshole now, says Asia.  I was thinking about some of the shitty things I did in the past but when I did them, I thought I was doing something good because my brain was polluted by Christianity, she says.  What are some of the shitty things you’ve done? I say.  Christianity makes you view unchristian people as projects.  There was this girl I worked with, she wasn’t a bad person, but she was struggling with drug addiction, poverty, raising her son, and dealing with an abusive boyfriend.  So of course I think “she needs Jesus”.  She was tiny like me and I had some nice clothes I was getting rid of and asked if she wanted them, and she said yes.  We were going to meet at the gas station.  I brought my aunt and uncle with me so that they could “tell her about the gospel” but I didn’t tell her I was bringing them.  Ambush evangelism.  Guerrilla preaching.  I was just thinking how shitty it was to corner someone like that.  I literally set a trap for her, says Asia.  Yeah, I say.  A lot of Evangelical Christianity emphasizes the great commission and converting people so they don’t go to hell and stuff.  When I was growing up, I would pray everyday for three of my classmates who didn’t know Christianity that they would know Jesus or something, I say.  I think success is getting through your 20s without doing something incredibly stupid, says Asia.  I guess my illegitimate kid disqualifies me then, I say.  Maybe the cringe is a fire that strengths and purges us, says Asia.  Did your Christianity cringe phase make you better?  In ways, says Asia.  For better or worse it shaped who I am.  My core guiding principles brought me into Christianity and those same principles brought me out, she says.  I think you are for better, I say.  I think I’m better, she says.  When I told everyone I wasn’t a Christian anymore, my grandma on my dad’s side told me she knew that I would come out of it because I’m too curious and forward thinking.  It’s always odd and surprising when others see something that you didn’t see yourself.  I’m the happiest now then I have ever been and I feel like I have permission to trust myself and fully express myself, says Asia.

Jesus said: show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

I dream a desert Christianity and a Christianity that curves stones stray bone     I dream desert stone bone drone Christianities crossbone Christianities     I dream desert Christianities crosscut Christianities and I grapple god   god grapple god   god grapple god skeleton tree   god gross gall glint glit god gulf   god gulf gasket jacket joint jest     I jest god gag gold mold match machine: I jest god bound ball gag machine moss madeline moulin     I matchlock gods maudlin moulin molarity and we grapple gold molasses

I dream a desert Christianity strewn with many cornerstones and many Christs     I jerk off the Christ’s god god soil topsoil topos Taryn (Taryn top tar tag gold soil soil heterotopia) (I taste a hazy heterotopia lazy river log flume flow Christina’s ghost gave subterranean)

Dream desert death Christianities drop stones messianic bones     I dream bone drop stone god abandon ronin rhizome     Abandon dam desert god kowloon walled city sludge gulf lot top lop pal pull

(I listen to Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds:  You believe in God but you get no special dispensation for this belief now   You’re a man sitting by the fire   You’re the mist rolling off the sea   You’re a distant memory in the mind of your creator, don’t you see?) (I listen to Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds:  They told me that our gods would outlive us   They told us that our dreams would outlive us   They told us that our gods would outlive us   But they lied…)     The god doesn’t outlive me     The god not outside or inside but rhizome risk: risk real rav vi rib burr bar rebar risk   god god grapple god   slit my own stomach mach principle intestines   god jub jub birds rib rabble sizzle god

Show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

I surrender to stone. I surrender to uncertain stone and although I exchange one stone for another stone, I participate with one stone.  I surrender to stone and I pick up stone scarab also seals stone serpent.  This serpent stone, which intersects and superimposes itself on all stones, is her stone: it is the cornerstone.  Christina couples cornerstone to cornerstone and cornerstone to Christina, and she circulates salamander Christianities.  She slides wide serpent secret Christianities, and Philip K. Dick discovers he secretly lives as a first century Christian.  I too know this secret Christianity: she creatures she shamans.

I Perform Stone Space

The performers sing into microphones or produce sound with oscillators

I perform stone space: show me the cornerstone the builders rejected     I perform stone space: it is the cornerstone     I perform cornerstone Book: several texts on geology and biology which makes the earth scream in pain     I perform pain plane sing earth body without organs     I perform pain plant sailing stones and earth screams body without organs death valley     Earth screams body without organs yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death     I perform the plenitude of shadows and the pleroma of shadows     I scream shadows / the earth died screaming while I lay dreaming of you

I perform minimal shadow microphones: I perform shadow minerals microphone cave quartz     Cave quartz cups queer cornerstone (a homosexual Christ kisses a homosexual secret gospel of mark)

I cut cornerstone microphone and singing stones wail desert monoliths     I cut Book cornerstone and I sample and amplify texts new place plunderphonics     I place contact microphones on text cornerstones and I improvise with the desert landscape

Have you considered trying out an experimental narrative kind of style? says Asia.  You just have a few compelling lines that I wish had more images attached to it and it would be nice to sit with them a little longer.  I’ve seen a few books recently that have really interesting narrative styles that seem to break reality a bit, like Between Two Fires and one called Howl.  Which lines would you like expanded? I say.  Could you explain the experimental narrative style more?  I feel disappointed: I thought you’d really like it, I say.  [Asia sends several lines].  “If you don’t know where to begin, begin with the Book”  “Universe book     The Book that is coming, constantly coming, never ceasing”  “I never die but I continue writing-witnessing the Book always coming and never ceasing” “She practices witchcraft and a satyr holds the Book with magic spells”.  I liked a good bit of it: maybe I’m just not in the right head space.  I found it difficult to follow all the way through.  The narratives I mentioned have this chaotic almost poetic approach to telling a story.  Between Two Fires doesn’t do it for the whole book but dips into it anytime anything supernatural happens and there is this scene where two angels are fighting and its the closest thing I’ve seen in words to describe heavenly world rendering activities that the human mind can’t follow, she says.  [She sends the pages from the book describing the two angels]  How would I apply that to a line like “If you don’t know where to begin, begin with the Book”?  “If you don’t know where to begin, begin with the book.  Ben creates the book.  Ever day it is created and recreated.  It loops and furls shoot up out of his pen and skull-like a thing that lives.  It devours him as he devours it.  This is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones” or something like that: that was just  what I thought of on the spot, says Asia.  Like, certain images should be lingering on a bit more is all, and I think doing so would create more cohesiveness.  The conversations help but I think they are doing a lot of heavy lifting and that means that a lot of your lovely imagery gets lost and tangled, she says.  Thanks for reading and for your feedback, I say.  No worries, says Asia.  Didn’t mean to disappoint you.  I hope you appreciate my critiques.  It doesn't mean that I didn’t like it, she says.

In the current iteration of the Book, a distinct dialectic exists: my attempts to create a freer and freer writing without regard to comprehension or traditional literary structure, and Asia attempts to shape it, give it comprehensible form and accessibility to the reader     The Book thrives on this dialectic and although a complete synthesis of both polarities remain elusive, our participation in the Book’s processes animates and gives the Book spirit     We participate both directions at once and multidirectional Book, and Ben and Asia prophesies word and breath to dry bones and makes them live     

I often feel depressed but even then my ego for the most part remains unreceptive to Asia’s critique; I fight her and my ego fights her     I will in fact record a consternation of that very thing regarding this type of chaotic and poetic approach to narrative.  However, usually after much troubled thought and after my ego has subsided, I agree with her perspective and integrate her critiques and suggestions into my writing     I save the lines she wanted the Book to linger on more, and I save the pages of the Book she shares with me so I can experiment and attempt a surreal or poetic narrative in a punctuated paragraph format in contrast to my fragment-constellations

The performers sing into microphones or produce sound with oscillators / show me the stone the builders rejected it is the cornerstone

I perform stone space Asia among stone rivers     I perform space species counterpoint plank ocean pain: I scream pain the earth died screaming     I perform pace play from: from language to new language several constellations tangle several narratives     Narratives permeate my body unformed unstable matters, and like Albert Ayler, I try to get more form in the free form     I try to get speedier spindle space into the sound space and Asia participates additional sound     I spin space aside and I experiment writing narrative form based on a line from the Zohar

The end of heaven is called Who.  This: I thread this through this.  I thread this through this: twice this and this thread thread twice twins.  I thread this through this Asia as twin and Kari as twin, and they twin this in turns.  I turn this to thread and I see the thread through cloud blood clots: this flows human blood stream.  Self streams bloodstream a twisting thread and I read through the thread: this again and this twisting.  This contorts through human body language and language contorts horla and harlot.  Harlot of Babylon enters bloodstreams threaded wine and wine this: her twisting.  I follow her twisting and testing from cup to cup.  I drink her cup as all cups crowned and in vision, cups transforms into open book.

I sing new space     I sing new space and new bloodstream: I sing space begins body specular flesh inversion     I invert sing a scanner darkly and speculum that doesn’t shine     I sing speculum that doesn’t sine inverted flesh ghosts     Specular inverted flesh sings photograph space     I photograph space blood clot clouds and human bloodstream and the space spans this phantom     Phantoms python this space: through a glass darkly through a mirror dimly

I sing bloodstream space     I sing we thin gin god space I space precious aporia     This space twin dark precious aporia ghost new language

I sing new space microtonal microphones     Vision voices through a scanner darkly and dark detuned slow microtonal vortex     Vision voices microphone microwave webbed mason bodies     I mason awake space weather: awake awake space speed dark-haired woman

I dream Christina as a dark-haired woman and her dream interrupts my place and space and I remain inverted in the dream     I dream her as Philip K. Dick’s twin sister (Asia as twin and Kari as twin this thread) (Beyond that mind – noös – is brain: her     Most of all she is my sister)

I dreamed about killing you again last night and it felt alright to me     Dream dam dune tune tak tank desert     Dream dan dune din tune tent dune     Dune dream dream dark dune man born of woman (man born of woman is short-lived and sated with trouble)     Man born of woman make awake work untwist work maximums (here or where: how to discover another language – I dream another Christina language and my words squirm sawed-off shot gun or completing the square     I take my flesh in my teeth and twist taste turtle dove dune)

I dream about killing Christina in the undifferentiated desert.  I dream the Christina narrative as a Christian narrative and Christina births the Christian desert.  The desert becomes a city.  She abandons me in desert.  I dream journey between and behind desert and I hunt her hundreds hungry ghosts.  I dream her desert city of ghosts.  I dream the Christian killing and killing cave khora.  Her desert opens khora and Korah’s rebellion and her cave mouth mangles me in visions and dreams.

Here or what: how to discover this language – her language chaos terrain narratives – and my words squirm her     My words squirm sawed-off shotgun serpents or computer snake competing the square     I take my flesh in my teeth and twist taste turtledove dune     flesh dune teeth tark tent tool teeth flesh train

Here or where her this language and languages / this her chopped and screwed sheets of sound     Sheets of sound slowed and throwed sand space / cookie cutter sharks     Here her or where her tape trade trill body language / large truss traces     Here where werewolf language lesser lights loop reverb bone visions

I wish the writing transformed you, I say.  I wish the writing transformed myself. Why do you think writing will transform you? says Asia.  Writing is something you create.  Sometimes the creative process is healing, she says.

Until the day I die, I write the Book

If you don’t know where to begin, begin with the Book.  I begin with Book and I begin with Ben, and the Book narrates this Ben and his relationships.  I begin by writing Christina or Asia; I begin by writing Taryn or Krystal (What would happen to you if I died? I ask Krystal.  There would be a void that couldn’t be filled, she says).  I suffer from suicidal depression; nevertheless I begin with the Book.  I continue writing the Book until the last hour I die.

I sing new space microtonal microphones     Microphone feedback voices slow detuned microtonal vortex     I invert vortex vine microphones microwave webbed wagon bodies     I body wagon awake space: wagon waking dream space speed dark-haired woman     I dream Christina the dark-haired woman and her hair hacks holes in my body skin space     I dream Asia the dark-haired woman and her pixie hair pierces my skull skin scaffolding

Ben bodies oscillate ben body overtones     Ben bodies oscillate ben body otonality subterranean umbra utonality     Umbra under ochre dune otonal bodies oscillations / body migrations     Ben body mill microtonal migrations / mill ouroboros oscillations

I appreciate your Book critique, the detail you went into answering and providing examples, I say.  But I felt very egotistical, and a part of me thought, this is writing she likes better than mine?  No way, I’m writing more beautiful stuff!  It’s really dumb, I say.  That is really dumb, says Asia.  It was good writing you showed me, I say.  I know you feel my worth and the worth of our friendship is not based on my writing and ability to write, but I still feel less value as a creative person because I can’t write things you love.  You are always quantifying things, says Asia, putting everything in little boxes, driving yourself nuts.  I did end up liking this book, but I actually struggled with this part when I first read it.  Just because I used it as an example, you assumed that I loved it and hated yours, and missed the reason I sent it.  I sent it because the vibes are the same.  It has an anarchic spirit but it’s narrative instead of prose, she says.  I’m sorry I missed your point and misinterpreted you, I say.  I really want you to like my writing.  I’m trying to get you to understand how incredibly small the boxes of “good and “bad” are, says Asia.  You are shrinking the world around you, she says.

The performers sing into microphones or produce sound with oscillators.  I perform a different kind of space that mimics videodrome hail the new flesh.  I perform microphone body horror and my oscillating body opens entirely amplifier.  My hands hum amplifier ground noise and I mouth microphone performance harsh noise wall.  Wall noise tosses big bomb boxcar bertha into the crowd and the amplifier inverts the audience.

The performers sing into the microphone sawcut bone stone     Bone bears that is the cornerstone stir this her     I sign stones electromagnetic monarch butter bodies     Stone slings electromagnetic most mass mash matter horizontal (large steel plates which are suspended horizontally above the floor are made to vibrate with the sounds)

This her horizontal hangman / spear-point suspensions     This her horizontal wild hunt woman / spear spell spill suspensions     I suspend horizontal sped: overtone series (Mozart, for example, worked and taught in a 17-note scale, identifying his scale notes through spelling e.g. C# and Db were quite differently tuned, with the first being higher)

I perform plate floor horizontal

It Is The Cornerstone

Jesus said: show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

I show ser sur slow slalom sure slot     I show seen surviving slower slalom free ski ska one drop sure slot

I snow show ser slow roll palindromes roll machine shot slot     I snake sneak show seer slower holy roller palindromes roller stream steam machine shoot slew

I share show simmer slimmer body the bitch is burning     I shark shower sinner siphon beak body bonfire bitches

I sure share sideshow body circus and I circulate grotesque palindrome roll slot gargoyles     I still stimmung sideshow scorpion body without organs and my organs open circular circus grotesque pinhole camera palindrome rock n’ roll gargoyles

I show stone snow slot da’at drill with desert (desert palindrome drift palindrome desert)     I show stone stone snow duple snow slot hot lot da’at dril draw deserts (desert palindrome pulse impulse pillar impulse pulse palindrome desert)

I surrender to more slow sting and my grotesque body burns bitches brew roux     I surrender surreal to stone surreal slow circuit car slot sting string and my grotesque game book body burns hernia bitches brew roux rhizome

I rest render bitch burn fat stone rhizome     I rest reed rush render rush witch bitch burn half stone tent rhizome

I show rest molt sabbath stone metamorphosis     I show sash rest rhizome seer molt metamorphosis sabbath stone stained glass window magma metamorphosis

Jesus said:  show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

Stones circulate sideshow and circus     Stones stream circus rivers and Asia clowns cornerstone and keystone     I share my body stones sideshow circus and I gun grotesque queer clowning     I open my crown clown body without organs open camera and open keystone body khora

Started drawing again, says Asia.  Here’s what I got so far.  The concept is clown-based tarot cards so I pulled a card at random and got Judgment.  I changed the color scheme to match the card, she says.  I like the composition so far, I say.  I look forward to seeing it complete.  Mirror physics in that reference is weird, by the way.  I think it’s supposed to be a playful artistic representation, says Asia.  Because the woman in the mirror looks more confident than the woman standing in front the mirror.  That or they accidentally fucked up the editing and I’m reading too much into it.  She’s not even wearing the same clothes, she says.  That’s true, I say.  Maybe it’s like Picasso’s mirror painting.  If I remember correctly, if we see her reflection, that means she’s looking at us, the viewer, not herself, I say.  It’s fine because I’m not going to use mirror physics either, says Asia.  IT’S REFLECTING WHO SHE REALLY IS ON THE INSIDE BEN.  Gosh get with the program.  YOU KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE ON THE INSIDE – ENTRAILS AND LUNGS, I say.  The woman I’m drawing is going to be a clown in the mirror, says Asia.  But in this representation, clown is a good thing because it’s about having fun and making others laugh.  I just really like clown girls.  Here are some clown girls from The Adventures Of Little Nemo.  It’s pretty good: it’s well-animated, nothing special about the plot, she says.  Tell me about your love for clown girls, I say.  You also have the classic The Big Comfy Couch, says Asia.  You also have the new internet sensation, The Amazing Digital Circus, says Asia.

Jesus said: show me the stone the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

The experiment of the impossible makes the experience of God possible     Only the impossible will do   only the absolute messianic will do   only KRYSXTRYN + Asia Among Rivers will do

I do not experience the impossible but I attempt to experiment the impossible     I experiment towards an impossible god and impossible cross capstone Christian crucifixions

I prophesy an impossible Passion for the Book and Book Body Without Organs (shadowless desert and blazing desert)   Experiments absolute excess tehom abyss     I experiment excess exceed earth excess abyss     I explore an excess Book experiment desert body dire wolf (even the dog joined their swamp group to study THE ANATOMY OF A NEIGHBOR) (Will the A Song of Ice And Fire series ever be completed? I ask Christina.  No, it’ll be a Robert Jordan situation, she says.  You’re right – who would you want to finish the series?  I’ll do it, says Christina.  I want to see a dire wolf fuck a dragon – for science, she says.)

I explore an excess book and Book permutated by unformed, unstable matters, and I wake the body – my body ben hinnom and ben adam circles and cornerstone – radically myth-material and name-narrative

I experience an excess Body and Book impossible god and impossible Christina, and I mourn her death at the foot of her cross / I awake impossible resurrection and resurrections     I await the machine mind-forged manacles mangle my own crucifixion

Every morning, around 6:30, in the darkness outside, the metallic racket of the garbage cans.  She would say with relief, the night is finally over.  She suffered during the night alone – a cruel business.

Morning, her myth in metal: metal her myth makes morning and mourning     My mouth mouths machine crucifixion / cross cornerstone circus cross     Morning, nightingale music microscopes: I magnify her flesh in melodic fragments     I magnify her myth metal melody klangfarbenmelodie metallic figure with meat (I make meat christina three figures at the base of the crucifixion)     I meant this morning      I meant this morning: I meet tomorrow morning meal corpses horses zebra hosts ben clever camouflage     I meant a more mundane morning and I mourn on an otherwise ordinary morning (an ordinary Christina absence, like she’s been absence multiple times in my life)

I meet early mourning and every mourning, and its early midwifes Christina as cornerstone limestone and bluestone body twelve-tone bar blues (meet me in the morning, 56th and Wabasha)

Every morning, mermaid mascara mutations and I migrate upwards nightingale melodies     I migrate upward ocean nightingale nurses every morning (I linger minus morning, the motor of mourning)     I linger means morning minus my cornerstone Christina and the morning misses miniature or unremarkable     I mourn every mourning unremarkable mow miniature maverick (miserable mornings minus minus ordinary and unremarkable)


I periodically remember dialogue from The X-files, from the episode The 6th Extinction: Amor Fati, and I occasionally share it with Christina and apply it to the Kindred:

Mulder:  Scully, I was like you once – I didn’t know who to trust.  Then I… I chose another path… another life, another fate, where I found my sister.  The end of my world was unrecognizable and upside down.  There was only one thing that remained the same.  You... were my friend, and you told me the truth.  Even when my world was falling apart, you were my constant… my touchstone.
Scully:  And you were mine.

Christina is my kindred and touchstone and cornerstone always, dead or alive.

Do you think we are like Mulder and Scully in that conversation about touchstones?  Sure! says C.  We just use  the word Kindred, I think, she says.

You’re a very important person in my life, I say.  And I, you!  Touchstones like Mulder and Scully?!?!  I’m very lucky to have close friends who deal with asshole ben.  Sure! says C.  And I’m extra lucky.  I’m a terrible friend.  Not dependable at all.  But I do love you, she says.


Jesus said: show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

I show ser sur slow, the experience of the impossible   the experience of the impossible show seer survey make naked the experience of god one sure shot slot possible     How can the possible reader itself self (selves) as possible experience?  – the impossible god     I prophesy god book snow such ser gore abyss the impossible intervention by an impossible god (hauntings   ghost licks   spectral phallus)

Show me the stone that the builders rejected: I stand betwixt and between     I stand between bodies books bold paint and black paint desert palindrome drift palindrome desert     Between bold paint stone black body tortoise pigment pulse Taryn Trickster     I stand betwixt Taryn liminal Taryn she lights the lights     Taryn lights the lights liminality unlikely     I paint black canvas unlikely creation and serpent source liminality: source snakes cornerstone stone circus water words (Taryn tricks the language and Asia clowns the language)

Taryn Trickster tunes a hesitant avatar of the region of threshold and boundaries / her realm of pure possibility     Taryn Trickster tunes elephant trunk and elephant tusk tungsten and her metals avatar hesitant threshold and hesitant boundary / winslet visions round sound liminality     Lark light liminal taryn liminality topology     Lark suck light Taryn liminal taxonomy (I tail taryn terminus liminal and terminating string liminal)

Show me the stones the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

(The performers sing into microphones or produce sound with oscillators.  By means of electromagnetic transducers, large steel plates which are suspended horizontally near the floor are made to vibrate with the sounds.  The vibration patterns are made visible by sand and other granular materials which the performer sprinkle onto these plates.  As they change the pitches of their sounds the granular images on the plates shift from one pattern to another.  The performers, each with their own plate, are located throughout the performance space: ideally it is a gallery rather than traditional proscenium theater.  The spectators move freely around these sonically and visually vibrating islands and choose their own degree of involvement in the ritual.)

I perform space     I perform space stone and cornerstone     I perform space play stone from: stone play from stone play to   to play through space     Stone space body amphitheater torrents     Space stone book performance word suspensions (word suspensions gan granular god suspensions / ritual body modification)     Ritual ripens flesh body repetition     Ritual repeats ripe rhizome my flesh rotten consummated by grapefruit gods grand guinol gulf

Show me the stone the builders rejected: I sing new space new stone     I sing new space new stone: I sing stone begins body specular flesh inversion   inverted flesh ghosts   specular inverted flesh photographs     I sing new stone impossible intervention of an impossible god (hauntings   ghost licks   spectral phallus)

Show me the stone the builders rejected: it inhabits ghosts and hauntological archives (earcinomata after jargoning of guildships / argonaut astral project   two horses, red and blue)

The archive takes place at the place / space of the originary and the structural breakdown of memory     The archive stone the place of the place pure prayer / ghosts pure prayer prayer ghosts     Archive tone stone at the accumulation of ghosts     Archive accumulates stone most ghosts but some escape the labyrinth librarian     Taryn Trickster she lights the lights librarian eldritch abomination and cosmic horror (I have a vision of Yahweh as a librarian: the librarian Yahweh who creates light and dark, and good and evil, and like the Red Son Superman, Yahweh attempts to put the whole world in a bottle)

Stone ghost pure prayer     Stone ghosts pure prayer puree     Archive places the place peculiar and spaces the space strange: archive places the place peculiar and particular particles / particle accelerators gold atom archive     Stone gold archive atoms Asia     Stone gold archive beehive atoms Asia honey hell     Honey hell helix archives narrates archive     Archive narrates name / Archive spears stone     Archive speaks stone ghost sprawl cell division dovetail joint desert     Archive speaks ghost stone sputum and stone spirit snot syntax     Archives arks ghost always-already stories and stones, everything remembered (I recall all as ghosts)     I recall all most ghosts california beach coast / intercostal bone forests

I dive into the Asia and Ben archive / actual ghosts     Conversation with Asia 08/17/2020 7:44 AM

I miss having short hair, she says.  This is my first time I’ve worn it in a ponytail since growing it out.  Ponytails are cool, I say.  I started wearing mine in a ponytail.  I want no hair, says Asia.  Bald?  No.  Just a pixie cut, she says.

Asia has had a pixie cut for many months now and I find it strange she ever had long hair: pixie cut Asia is my mental image of Asia

Book archive writes Book archive Christian crucifixion and Asia among rivers     I archive stone and space     

Jesus said: show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

I Lose Book

I lose Book     I lose last lost Book lost (lost Book lost at last writing as spirit not spare skewers     Skewer stand space spear body     ben Book Book bloody)     I lose Book     I lose Book lose book kill window sill crinkle / Book crumples ben body     I window widow wide Book martins     Window window wider Book wash / wa wi wh wider     Wide wit what wing Book width     Book kick width window widow window     Book weird window rayskin wallet ox weather     Book ox oil oath odd odd open

I lose Book wide open / Book circular ruins     I ruin book ruin ram Book spirit skewers scald scatter book of the seven seals     Book scatter shatter sturgeon surgeon slide suicides

I lose the languages and Asia chastises me for it but I trust and value her critiques     I make my languages mallet malleable and I fold flash flesh word pattern-welded steel or machine god mokume-gane     I look hex language Taryn text constructions

I lose language and loosen language sum lush liquid     Liquid language lum lush sum spear space Taryn and Taryn torches new physics space     I construct space new human body / ben hinnom adam kadmon

Taryn text vertical trumpet / ben hinnom vertical trombone bonfire troubadour     Taryn text vertical and orthogonal pink laser space / desert panic modulations     Taryn text trade timbre modulation / arizona desert metric modulation     I modulate text and language son of man magma and machinic assemblages (Taryn modulates and permeates my body without organs with unformed, unstable matters, by flows in all directions, by free intensities, and nomad singularities, by mad and transitory particles…)

Taryn text vertical trumpet punch language lop liquid lap lateral / vertical light vertical light     My body dome dip desert modulation often then have attached me from my youth and she attaches trumpet languages     Desert her desert attaches body without organs termites and barnacles and she cuts bone language rapid

Taryn text desert vertical / desert triple duo desert     Desert triple duo dome desert / rhizome rhapsody     I rope rapid text rhizome body rhapsody / my body without organs orgasms nomad rhapsodic sonata-allegro spaces     I rope Book rapid rhythm rhizome oratorios

Taryn text physical space new material matter begins     Physical space spread new material begins body pornography     I text Taryn body pornography body without organs orgasms (lusty – shocking – sizzling THE SHEER AFFAIR  Marilyn was naked.  She as young, long stepped, and voluptuous.  Marilyn also had a strange taste for the third sex!)     Taryn text physical space speed new materials begins body pornography (begins body bird pornography bread bird bodies pornographies) (His voluptuous patients were sick… with desire!  INTIMATE PHYSICIAN    The shocking affairs of a doctor – who made women his specialty – yet could not cure the sick passions of his own wayward bride!)

Taryn text begin microtonal pornography concerto in slendro / desert rune sonatas and interludes     Text begins porno parousia play modulation modulation (the slow process of variation by textual overlay)

There are a lot of people who don’t understand poetry, says Asia.  It’s like they are reading a different language.  I wonder why that is, she says.  Maybe it is a different language, metaphorically, I say.  It requires a different kind of reading.  I think that our culture really struggles with regulating and expressing emotions in a healthy way, says Asia.  You have to be open to read poetry.  I also think that in classrooms, students often want to know the answer.  A, B, C, or D.  But there isn’t an answer.  You have to sit with poetry, chew on it, she says.  That is true, I say.  There’s an ambiguity, I think.  Or mystery.  Live with the mystery, I say.  I hate how curriculums rush through texts, says Asia.

I rush through texts     I don’t rush through texts / the slow process of variation by textual overlay     I rush word text but then I revisit the text development and variations     I rush rope rapids rhapsodic rhizome / I rush rhizome rent rhythm oratorio     Oratorio overlaying text textures

Book clashes and overlaps disparate realities / marginal mercury   marginal ben body machine     Margins ben body birds bird is the word reaper woman     Reaper woman rushes harvest woman trickster

Taryn Text tricks margins: book body margins     (my marginal body thistles bird tricksters thorns summa / not trivial but a body topology)

I begin with the Book and I tease Text Taryn     I begin with the Book and I sample other books and other texts     I steal Book of Job and Text Taryn travelers

I continue to mourn Christina’s absence and I borrow from the Book of Job:  Man born of woman is short-lived and sated with trouble     He blossoms like flower and withers; he vanishes like a shadow and does not endure

I sample short-lived: I sample short-lived legion laptop improvisation     (I listen to Elliot Smith and think of Christina: I never really had a problem because of leaving   But everything reminds me of her this evening)

I sample my spinal column short-lived / I saw body halves spinal catastrophism

I imagine my suicide but I survive in continual suffering as Job and the God continues to interrogate me     The God and Christian interrogate me with her absence and art anarchic hauntology

I slate short-lived lake shaker inner light     Short light live lure light ladder improvisation / laptop lesions improvise electric chair incarnation     I short sharp into lounge lozenge lights: I short snip lights lark shark shaped canvas     I cut short canvas volume vert t-shirt tingler talk castles and cassettes     I body Book of Job…

Every mourning, around 6:30, in darkness outside, the metallic racket of the garbage can.  She would say with relief: the night is finally over (She suffering during the night, alone, a cruel business)

I begin with morning and I begin with mourning     I often begin with the Bible of the Nag Hammadi Codex and I grieve through the text and texture sculptures

Minus morning, the motor of mourning mourning minus meddle morning miniature

I Mix Several Textbooks On Biology and Geology

content warning: suicidal ideation



Chroniclers enter text and trade     I trade text scroll to text codex     I name codex anew now text overlap text (I name texts made by human hands)     I name text made by gods and stones and stones stack and speak text     Stones stem text syntax chroniclers text stones     I stir stones through text codexes and chroniclers

Texts trade cassette tapes tall loops ice scream scoop (you scream I scream we all scream for morphine)     Texts stir and trade cassette stones and rock assemblages buttress the Book     I shore Book sea stone and stone shore and I have not left the Book since     Book trades texts syntax cassette loops / I loop Book shore syntax stone     Stones tape text immediate inert immerse     Immediate I wound Book desert insects increase     Immerse or immense I wound immediate Book desert     Immediate I immerse Book desert grass guillotine (guillotine drops shore thumb piano tines trim train trouble)

Texts time tobacco tetragrammaton and texts tease names texas chain saw massacre     Texts tether tin time tint ship taryn tinder / Taryn timed shipwrecks body steam wreckage     Texts detach ship tender to Taryn lunar surfaces and her mast martian chaos terrain     I detach text from text and I immerse languages in Taryn text text onto abyss     Taryn tinkers trickster tempo lovely rita meter maid     Taryn traps unseated rita gila monster hydra

I have been thinking of taking my own life, I say.  Do you hate my guts?  Don’t do it, says Taryn, and no, I don’t.  Why not do it?  Because you have purpose in life.  What’s my purpose?  A healer for those in need of you care, a storyteller, you make people laugh and add enjoyment and friendship into other people’s lives.  Do I add purpose to your life?  Yes.  What purpose do I add?  Laughter, being silly, enjoyment, great advice, a true best friend, says Taryn.

Taryn throws tincture tropics and topics tropics ten tin sin throw Taryn     Taryn throws hydra hint text hydra and she opens the question of the Book     She opens question oarsmen oarsmen where have you been I’ve been to the leafy I’ve dismembered the Queen

Texts tempt and texts trick     Texts tempt and I do write place opposites meet and commingle     I write places spaces oppositions meet oppositions     Contradictions collect contradictions (crosses stations of the cross crossed)     I write spaces places enspaced between social cosmos and other world / chaos chains chaos the Book prima materia     Book clashes nad overlaps disparate realities / marginal mercury   marginal ben body machine

I machine between oars and I mix several textbooks on geology and biology     Oars overlap oars ship texts text Taryn syntax tyrant (Oarsmen oarsmen where did you there   I hid in a cleft I braided the air)     Air scares more mop nightmare     Air spins sly stone there’s a riot going on     Texts mix hex chroniclers enter texts and trade     Texts mix taryn with hex her heat human meat / she’s got a ticket to ride and she don’t care

Taryn texts attacks language no really perfect optimum mix anyway among some thousands

Text tumbleweed turn turn Taryn surreal (PLEASE DON’T EAT MY MOTHER   The hilarious tale of a strange houseplant whose appetite grew from the neighbor pets to more succulent dishes… and loved every piece!  A laugh with every burp)

Text tumbleweed tur text turn Taryn horror surreal (A satirical horror comedy of a beautiful woman with bizarre tastes.  An adult vampire film THE VAMPIRE HAPPENING)

I take texts taste don’t torture a duckling     I take texts taste Taryn sprawl doll tarantula     I take texts my horrific body bodies surreal earth     I attach myself to texts and texts seduce me: languages Taryn Ash passion tempt me earth erotic

I was thinking about my advice on poetry, says Asia, and I watched a TikTok that was relevant, and I want to apologize because I didn’t mean to suggest there is one way to write a poem and that there is a formula to it.  I know and love many poems that don’t end with summary lines. I just hoping to help bring things back to a center.  I don’t think your writing has to be instagram worthy or anything.  I don’t think I explained this well, but I hope you get the idea, says Asia.  Yeah, I get what you’re saying, I say.  I value your opinions and ideas on writing, and I think you’ve made my writing better.  I love your criticism and critique but you’ve told me before you read it differently because of that.  I want you to engage with it on a more joyous, pure reader level and it wasn’t a condemnation of your critique.  I love you participating in the Book, I say.  I’m glad you trust and appreciate my critiques, says Asia.  What are your current thoughts on my writing? I say.  Do you like it?  I’ve liked what I read, she says.  I’m glad.  Do you think it has substance?  Do you think it has poetic depth?  What do you mean by substance and poetic depth? asks Asia.  You can revisit it and discover new things in it.  It doesn't exhaust itself in one reading.  I think what makes the bible or gnostic scriptures powerful is that they are inexhaustible, I say.  Then I would say yes, says Asia.

Texts mix hex language made material / I babel with word brick and mortar     Texts mix hex Taryn with material (things, words) more and more dense around you     Texts with materials mode Taryn material mean wide word wake     Material Taryn trade dense sense nonsense / I knot strange sense nonsense gnosis

Text trades text taste texts     Text trades text new physical space Taryn     Taryn tongue text new physical space space physics     Text Taryn space physical flat flesh khora (space inserts as an essential aspect of musical composition)

Text trades text Taryn new space space begins in space and as space / ben bodies at the vertical line, a subtle combination of the two instruments begin

I tour text and text appears as physical Book and material Book     I task text to text Book textures and the book appears and disappears Christina simultaneous

Strange Texts, The Tempestuous Space Of My Suicides

content warning: suicide and suicidal ideation


Crawl in and see if it’s hot enough to put bread in     I crawl sprawl hermetic sound     I crawl scrawl sprawl sail: slate sail slough cave mouth crawl     I crawl in language and belly, skate cave language and oven language (oven ouroboros I am the bread of life)     I crawl heat human meat

Crawl in and see if it’s hot enough to put bread in     I crawled back in, I am hungry I made sure my traps are set in space     Crawl scrawl hermetic sound / crawl scrawls hermetic sound     (Crawl experiment escape noun verb noun     Nirvana chorus verse chorus)     Crawl scrawl scrawls and crawl scrawls scrawl multidirectional     Crawl spill spills and crawl spills spill both directions at once

Crawl in, said the witch, and I witch the crawl of oven language and bread language     I crawl scrawl not text at a distance but text experienced different experiments     Crawl experiments experiment text differences between differences     Crawl difference draw experiment imaginary immanence

I crawl immanent experiment and immediate text: text crawl scrawl hermetic sound     Text experiment a stark quake   a numb calm   play calm palm in gilead     A stark quake crawl quick queer quake Christianity     Queer quake Christianities no queue but I’ve been to Leafy I’ve dismembered the Queen     I dismember the queen din I dismember god     I dismember gods gonk ben bodies body tumble tumble boil broil brick bubonic plague     A stark quake anarchic language: to let the language sing self-similar sawed-off shotgun fractals     flesh fractals pig destroyer destroyer desert flesh flowers      Flesh fresh flower fires fractals

I love language and I love experiments: I love the play and surprise of avant-garde and experiment and I too try to experiment     I feel a strangled and antagonistic relationship with my experiments, and I simultaneously feel I don’t make my writing accessible enough and I don’t push the experiment enough     I love language and dream the Book as son of man machine fractals   fractal language   open overlap text ouroboros     I attempt a text difference between difference and rhizomic not-repetition repetition

I love crawl language and cave language and I spy language between     I spy text difference between difference witch experiment     Language explores and tricks ten cassette tape contrapasto     Trickster crawl scrawl language and thrives in the vision of in-between where ambiguity, paradox, and confusion are all customary categories     Trickster tinkers language trailing point tetragrammaton     Trickster language traffic tiles god tensions and gut tensions     I trim armature erector traffic trickster tideways or upside down traffic cones conic sections     Trickster language textures odd text difference strange transit     Language trickster textures tugboat pseudepigrapha epistles to Timothy (I dream myself Timothy and I have a little wine for my stomach)     Language Taryn Trickster light textile terrain: terrain turmoil chaos terrain     Trickster language tightens tinfoil through my throat

I crawl not text and it tricks difference undifferentiated desert between     I beam between slow body of the book and book immediate immanence (the immanence of the Book repeats the immanence of god   the violence of the Book repeats the violence of god) (A gory tale of terror!  Death his religion – blood his lust!  GURU THE MAD MONK)

(Note to self: might be useful to chop up newspapers and headlines    Steal from John Dos Passos snapshot experiments)

I crawl in witch language and between language and sometimes the language of suicides (as Anne Sexton writes in the poem Wanting To Die:  but suicides have a special language.  Like carpenters they want to know which tools.  They never ask why build)     I crawl not text suicide languages     (I hope this doesn't come across as blunt, says Asia, but at this point, you wanting to kill yourself feels like a constant.  Like an ebbing tide.  I sent you the cicada article because I thought you would like it.  I did like the article, I say.  Just because I’m in pain that doesn’t make it OK.  I don't think it’s OK that it’s constant, I say.  Just because it’s a constant doesn’t mean I won’t try to help alleviate the pain, says Asia, but I don't know what else to say.  Have you not been suicidal off and on for the last few months?  I don’t meant to say that it’s a drag or anything – I just mean to say that it becomes normal.  Like if it’s been raining for a week and you look at the weather and it’s raining again, you might be like “oh ok, that makes sense”, she says.  I have been.  In the context of our conversation, you made it sound like it’s not worth addressing, that’s what I find hurtful.  I’m sorry it came across that way, says Asia.  That's not what I meant.  I just thought cicadas would be a welcome distraction.  They are a welcome distraction, I say.  I don’t think you ever try to intentionally hurt me.  I share with you as a sign of trust and I share with you because I know you care, I say.)

I crawl in witch language and between language and sometimes the language of suicides     Suicides have a special language and the language laps trick star trade     I survive suicides but I live in languages without escape: not escape but endless experiments and explorations in different repetitions     Not text at a distance but texts experiments differences between and around suicide circumcisions

I crawl in language and I belly skate cave language and oven language     I crawl stark language a vampire stake quake     I crawl stark language stake quake or quadrant     I crawl queer quake Christianities sheets of sound     I crawl scrawl queer hermetic sound and I smear suicide hermetica and alchemical desert death     I repeat my death survive revival / I repeat chamber symphony tent revival     I repeat tent revival and camp meeting figure with meat     I crawl heat human meat soviet montage shadow figures

I keep sabbath queer quake Christianities no queue but I’ve been to Leafy I’ve dismembered the Queen     I dismember the queen din drop dismember gods     I dismember gods gloss moss figure with meat gutter bodies: body tumble throttle boil broil brick babel body without organs     I play plague language sail slate slough cave mouth crawl

I dismember language look a stark quake anarchic language: lake language and lamp language slices serial self-similar sheer shear fractal     Fractal concerts flesh mesh pig destroyer destroyer desert text differences     flesh fractures flower text fires fractals

Chroniclers enter text and trade     I trade machine make: names of things made by human hands     I hand text trickster travelers     I hand human trickster travels travelers traffic tonight tragedy strikes     (typical trickster traffic typical tricster beef tartare) (If star terror were ecstasy… living here would be sheer bliss!  MADHOUSE)

Language tricksters travel     Tricksters travel tsunami thread and throat gnosis     Text tear in-between Book: in-between benjamin son of man and benjamin adam kadmon     Trickster thrives in-between Book book body ben between Book     Trickster thrives triple tongue timbre and timber dark desert leaves Book     Cedars of Lebanon  witch dark desert leaves Book and between Book leaves Body between Book leaves of grass gods

I do not leave the Book but I live the Book open     I live the Book ambiguous and contradictory     (He left our frustrated shores and embarked on your Book   You have not left the Book since   You could not have   But sometimes the space between the lines is so large that you seem to tread on new ground   The margins are so wide   The Book chain us together)     I leave the frustrated shores of the Book for the frustrated shores of the Book     I live the shore and sources sources cedars of lebanon and song of songs     I live the short serpent source Book of Sand and I witness Book Beach endless     I prophesy Book Beach endless body

I live the frustrated shores of the Book into and onto the frustrated shores of the Book body without organs     I share shore feathers and feathers frustrate leaves of grass     Grass does last not transform feather lingers     Text trickster lingers light light lampoons my pease porridge hot body (what a lance who obeys the figure of the pregnant dance)     Figures dance feathers delicious desert dialectic

Strange texts, the tempestuous space of my suicides     I chronicle their chrome tanned leather in the crawl stone of the Book of Sand     Sand stokes bay insects and gnat gnosis and I collect my wood strings and suicides like Asia collects beetle and spider black-figure pottery

So I’ve decided to start a bug collection again, says Asia.  Step one, bug cup.  This is the official way of doing it.  If you don’t have a solo cup full of dead bugs that you scooped out of someone’s pool, then you aren’t a real scientist, she says.  You officially have a collection then.  What's step 2?  Obtain a shadow box and stainless steel pins.  Some people do kill bugs for their collections; I plan on only using already dead bugs.  I tried killing one when I collected them as a kid and it still haunts me.  Basically you create a gas chamber in a jar using gasoline, lighter fluid, or finger nail polish remover and suffocate them slowly, says Asia.

Chroniclers enter text and trade     Names of things made by human hands     Texts trade cassette tapes tall loops ice scream scoop (you scream I scream we all scream for morphine)     Texts tin tail texas chain saw massacre     Texts tin tint ship tender tinder tier tear Taryn swarm surface / martian chaos terrain     Ten tin sin ton tempo Taryn / Taryn tinkers trickster lovely rita meter maid     Unseated rita gila monster hydra

I ark extensive, armed, and organized mass stretching across the entire desert: I act jackal an intense pack forever launching into the desert deterritorialized

I ark text extensions intensions excess and I jab jackal text and trade

I embrace on the Book ark and jackal     I embrace text to text ark anatomy agon jackals     I leave shore to shore Book of Sand

I Crawl In Cicada Vision

Content Warning:  discussion of suicide and suicidal ideation



Clutching my crumble jumble among the tombs and in caves, I clasp crevasse gospel

I groan gospels jack ice calve cave     Gospel groans jack icepick cave prayer and I pray desolate places and dark places     I pray gospel glut gulch clutch gut and I groan gallery gospel blood

Gospel gossips crumble jumble gem genesis: gospel gambles gem glean bright green guts genesis     Gospel gifts desperation and desolation, holy ghost driver wilderness

I groan glossolalia creation myth and I narrate nothing abomination and none desolation     I grip genesis great big gobs of greasy grimey gopher guts     I glam grizzly bear genesis adam bare buttocks

I jump genuine gospel glean grains crumble jumble genesis     I jump when in the beginning Elohim or when in the beginning with and without Elohim: when in the beginning written created Elohim (you are the one who writes and the one who is written)

I clutch claw cain Christianities     Clutch hut hatch cain catch Christianity Christianities     Clutch Christianity catfish clips clay milk caution body jargon     My body jargon guts glacier gospel and glacier genesis and in the beginning, ben hinnom body jargon     Body jargon polygons glass gasp genesis     Jargon jags mason jar jason voorhees and I gloat crystal lake light glossolalia     I clasp or grasp my own body jargon body horror (Friday the 13th Part II the body count continues…)

I groan genesis, and I put my words in my mouth when I turned on the tape recorder to sing     I put my words in my mouth and I move cave mouth body jargon     I move cave paste carton cartoon body jargon genuine disjunct / finger joint mason jar     I move cave mouth moon mason jar rejoinder (she’s a jar with a heavy lip my pop quiz kid
Jawbone genesis bend blues bone bone bone     Jawbone genesis bend ben hinnom hone bone cave shone finger joint

I join strange genesis not text at a distance but text experienced difference     I join weird genesis not text at varying distances but text experienced differences between differences     Genesis defers difference essence imaginary landscape

I join genesis with the Gospel of Thomas and I speak the difference word mouth cave mouth machines

Jesus said: Show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

I show ser slow slalom sure slot     I snow show ser slow roll palindromes roll machine shot slot     I share show shimmer body the bitch is burning     I sure share sideshow body circus and I circulate grotesque palindrome roll slot gargoyles     I show stone snow slot lot da’at drill with desert (desert palindrome drift palindrome desert)     I surrender to stone slow slot sting and my grotesque body burns bitches brew roux     I rest witch stone sting rest     I rest render witch burn fat stone rhizome     I show rest molt sabbath stone metamorphosis

I join genesis with the gospel of thomas, and with beginning ben hinnom varying distances the text differences

Do you think I can survive without Christina? I ask Asia.  Yes, I think you can survive.  May I ask what makes you feel I can survive without Christina?  Because you will find beauty and reasons to create.  Our friendship is a reason to create, I say.  Yeah, that’s a good enough reason, says Asia.  Why not include some of your other friendships too?  I do as much as I can, I say, but it’s been difficult to try to talk to Krystal and Taryn very much but I would like to.  The reason you’re included in the Book so much is because I talk to you the most, I say.

Crawl in, said the witch, and see it’s hot enough to put bread in (I crawled back in, I am hungry   I made sure my traps are set in space)

Crawl in immense and intense crawl Christianities     Crawl clutch crumblejack Christianities speak tape spell and spell scroll body jargon necronomicon

I span the spell of spitting Apep     I sprawl the spell of tramping Apep with the left foot     I spin the spell of taking a spear to smite Apep     I sprout the spell of setting fire to Apep

With the left foot body jargon joins jargon body with the left foot     With the left foot spells serpent side body jargon side polygon serpent spell body

With the left foot with beginning body jargon jump death / I secretly jump to my death     I often try to understand A Thousand Plateaus by Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari and I think about the jump (jump body jargon jagged jab concretes)     I don’t know how to jump but I contemplate a jump and Gilles Deleuze jumped (Overwhelmed by his respiratory problems, he died by suicide on 4 November 1995, throwing himself from the window of his apartment)

Not text as a distance but text experienced difference     I experience text death dome text death inverted: my body inverts body jargon     My body invents body jargon the repeated jump     I jump jag jab repetition     I repeat the text dead and death gospel     I repeat death lanterns of the dead     Lanterns of the dead repeats pierced with small openings at the top: a light exhibited at night indicates the position of a cemetery, hospital, or leper colony

My left foot body jargon tramples lantern of the dead and dead crumblejack crucified Christianities

Spalding Gray sought treatment from his neurologist Oliver Sacks, who began treating him in August 2003 and continued to do so until Gray died.  Sacks later said Gray perceived the taking of his own life as part of what he had to say, with the Monologist having “talked about what he called ‘a creative suicide’.  One one occasion when he was being interviewed, he thought that the interview might be culminated with ’a dramatic and creative suicide.’  I was at pains to say that he would be more creative alive than dead”.  

I feel sympathetic to the idea of a dramatic and creative suicide     I have often written of my own bouts with intense depression and suicidal ideation, and I too feel an appropriate ending for the book would be my own dramatic and creative suicide     Book ends with me and I end with the Book

He left our frustrated shores and embarked on your Book    You have not left the Book since     You could not have     But sometimes the space between the lines is so large that you seem to tread in new ground     The margins are so wide     The Book chains us together

I leave the frustrated shores of the Book for the frustrated shores of the Book     I live the frustrate s shores of my spinal catastrophe body jargon

I leave shore lighthouse leviathan serpent fragment of my flesh

Leave shore liminal lighthouse haunted leaves of grass

Frustrated, I leave my body jargon fragments / machine filaments without lights     Ben body frustrates as fragments leave     I find fragments found out about you (whispers at the busstop well I’ve heard about nights out in the schoolyard I found out about you)

With beginning, Book at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh

Flesh of flesh finds bone fragments the frustrated shore of the Book

I leave the frustrated shores of the Book for the frustrated shores of the Book     I live the frustrated shores of the book into and onto the lived frustrated shores of the Book

Grass does not last but transform feather lingers     I linger lighthouse fragments and machine shores     I linger do you still jump out of windows in expensive clothes

I leave and want grease moths to consume my body     I want cicadas to scream my secret name spiked into my spinal column

Do you have cicadas where you are? I say.  Yeah, says Asia.  There are no cicadas here so I do not get to experience the DOUBLE BROOD, I say.  Are you excited for it?  I don’t get the double brood, she says.  Just the regular joes that come out every year.  I’m sure they will be happy to see you though, I say.  Maybe the regular joes will remember you.  Just found out there are a bunch of cicadas native here, says Asia.  Two things, I say.  I didn’t realize that there were cicadas that came out every year.  Second, why the heck do these guys have such cool names?  Southern Swamp Cicada, Dark Lyric Cicada, Hieroglyphic Cicada… Yeah, cicadas are an every year thing, says Asia.  It wouldn’t be summertime without the constant screaming.  I would like to hear what cicadas sound like where you are, I say.  [Asia sends me a video].  Dang it sounds like a noise machine outside.  I personally love cicada sounds, says Asia.  That doesn't surprise me!  What do you like about it?  It’s nostalgic, she says.  It’s comforting.  It’s like a weighted blanket made out of sound, says Asia.

Crawl in, said the witch, as see if it’s hot enough to put bread in     I crawl in cicada vision and I see millions of swarm stations of the cross     Double brood shades eclipse body of Christ crucified / darkness midday desert intense with multidirectional insects

I crawl not text at a distance but cicada corpses     I crawl in text experienced difference ben body text brood body without organs (I experience my body difference double brood body horror)

I photograph Book fragments and shore fragments     I photograph my body fragmented and nude cicadas of the cross (Photograph taken in 1916 by an unknown photographer in Zurich, Switzerland for a published postcard to promote the 1916 programme of the Cabaret Voltaire in Zurich)

I live the shore Book fragments and figures of the dead     I live shore lanterns of the dead and liminal lanterns pierced with small openings at the top     Lights pierce small openings in my book body exoskeleton and my body molts and leaves behind old growth forest     Ben body bleeds light at night to indicate the position of a cemetery, a hospital, or a leper colony (These lanterns were originally constructed to warn passerbys of the danger of infection as well as illuminate the cemeteries where it was feared that repenting souls, ghosts, and criminals could hide… Later, they were also erected at the intersections of important routes and roads)

I lamp the Book liminal and its frustrated shores snare torch fragments and tent fragments     I lamp Book lowlands lurk mothlight     I lamp sermons to the dead and intensities of the dead     Dead mind mead red not texts at a distance but texts experiment difference     I crawl in difference cicada cemetery and leper colony

I clutch gospel of thomas crumblejumble among talkbox tombs     Cave mouths makes insect gospel and I collect the cicadas double transmigration of human souls

Nevertheless, John Berryman continued to abuse alcohol and struggle with depression, as he had through much of his life, and on the morning of January 7, 1972, he killed himself by jumping from the Washington Avenue Bridge in Minneapolis onto the west bank of the Mississippi River

I jump long cave mouth gospel     I jump cave mouth crucified gospel of thomas     I jump large stone not text at a distance but undifferentiated insect desert     I simmer summer my suicides     I jumble gospel glutch southern grass cicada and I walk open ocean drowning olympic scrub cicada (insects intensify my suicidal ideation)

Jesus said: Show me the stone that the builders rejected.  It is the cornerstone.

I show ser sur suicides and I read Big Sur by Jack Kerouac where he slowly drank himself to death     I show sharp ser my slow suicide and I write and rewrite the imaginary jump     I show gospel jump where my body falls on stone Judas Iscariot     I show show ser slow roll suicide palindromes suicide roll machine shot slot

I Oar Other Rampant Death

I oar split ear split ocean     I oar split argentium orange and I alloy waters wedge waters     I oar eye split the spell of spitting Apep

I oar spell serpent rain chemical ouroboros     I oar rain rope spell bone sport     Oar repeats bone sport and bone sponge and rope vert ramp coping copulates Christina as the Cross

I oar onto ours, an only concert language and language figured bass     Oar an ox eye onto and eye into over     I oar once oval an ox then outset and my language detours death     I oar toward desert death desert and death doubles     I oar death desert doppelganger and my body duplicates rampant rhizome

I oar other rampant death and death detailed additional death     I oar other death obvious eclipse (Suicide during eclipse.  When the eclipse reached its darkest at this place today S.M. Crosby, a prominent druggist here, committed suicide by shooting himself in the head)     I oar other obvious death and I feel earth immense eclipse immediate   I oar immediate crucifixions

I oar immediate crucifixions and I oar oak omen rain room     I immerse rain room map mer rhizome      Asia among rivers rip rock aleatoric rhizome     Rhizome ripens random rain and rain forest flesh: I fish towards rapid rain and rapid death

Rain room rigid bodies flexible bodies     Rain ripen room fix bodies flexible     I film my body boils big death and death building body skyscraper     Beam bodies suspend tensions (if you plan on doing suspensions in the future, remember the rope     I live rope ripieno and riptide rhizome     I suspend from long holy spirit strands)

Rain reveals room quiet: I keep watch in room     I keep rain watch in room and room remains rain     I remain rain run rain rhizome / ruby bodies     Rain room ruby rain flexible body burn and I burn in desert     Beam bodies suspend tensions, the tailing tabetha of blue death     Beam bodies sunbream sunbeam broad braid bodies     I braid body distant desert disintegrated distance sanded hanging     I braid broad desert body death and bodies rhizome room rain     Bodies braid broad rhizome room rain runoff jane doe (Lost in you like saturday night searching the streets with bedroom eyes just dying to be saved) (I feel you’ve also reached a place where you feel good about my writing, I say to Asia.  Not to the extent as Christina, but there’s not too much additional criticisms you can provide at this point.  I can ask you about specific ideas or techniques but it seems to me you’ve been generally happy with my writing and what it does as a whole, I say.  Maybe it would be helpful if I knew what you wanted me to look for, says Asia.  I admit, I do generally like your writing but I’m also looking for something good to say.  But I also don’t know how to help because I don’t really know what direction you’re trying to go, says Asia)

I Oar Ouroboros And I Row Rope Rhizome

content warning:  suicide and suicidal ideation; pornographic language


I oar ouroboros     I oar over ouroboros bat body     I oar body black canvas and ouroboros bore splash spirals     I oar my body repugnant     I oar armpit ouroboros queer body electric cocks (electric cocks cluster repugnant body     electric cocks / cosmic roosters)

I oar ouroboros and I row rope rhizome     I oar rock and stone rope electricity: electric rabbit punches hands behind the back tie sitting cross-legged tie

I write the oar Book and the carnivorous Book     I write the book ouroboros cannibal and grotesque body boils (you will follow the Book, whose every page reveals abyss where the wing shines with the name)

I oar river name and raven name     Name rollers rope red rivers and I remember the name of her gods grass glass Christina

I oar river fragments and book fragments, spare sentences inscribing my body absolute mourning     Mourning never resembles a total but further partitions drawn dust (Christina among Cantor dust diverges desert tower hourglass)

I oar river lion’s roar and her rope runs ring rubber / red balloon bondage     Only oars ooze ouroboros and the Book burr bat body repugnant rhizome     (I follow the Book, whose every age reveals an abyss where the wing shines with the name / the explicit name sown in forty-two letter in the act of creation)

I oar ouroboros queer body and my body utter alien underneath     I hinge hands underneath behind the back tit sitting cross-legged tie     I row rhizome raccoon tit tylenol theater

Writing remembers the dead seven sermons to the dead     Writing remembers my dead many clipper ships abandon open ocean or acid arctic ice     I run the writing icy rope and rope rocky glacier     Writing renews the dead an illustrated lesson in tying     I tie the writing tail to nail taylor series theater taryn

I host hands behind the back tit     I sum sitting cross-legged tie     I call river raccoon tie     I bird Book breast tie developed by hunters carrying their prey (if you plan on doing suspensions in the future, I recommend getting a rope with a diameter of 9 mm and with a reinforced core)

I oar can kin kiss canticle     I oar an sam core canaanite: electric chair convertible desert

I oar electric chair could cavern caress circulation: circulate row over carcass train feathers     I plot feathers flother her textures: her textures ter theater thalassophobia     I oar textures and particular feathers     I plot through trace taste train feathers / feathered rowboats and clipper ships

I oar ouroboros delicious desert dialectics     I oar ouroboros open delicious desert destination out     I oar destination out desert various feathered dinosaurs

I oar can kin keep kiss candlewax crumbs     I keep candlewax clockwork I carry you around in the background     I carry you around in the background haunted house of wax clockwork     I wheel candlewax vaultwork stained glass window     I wheel window whale bone corset coset coupled rope

Eclectic cocks electric cocks / cosmic roosters.  Band names? says Christina.  No, prophetic utterances.  Ah, all the roosters I’ve known have been very sweet, she says.  Do you know what it means? I say.  No.  It means Christina sucks cocks of criminals on the cross: cocksucker golgotha.  Last rites? says Christina.  Sin eater, I say.  Christina makes atonement through swallowing their copulation.

This conversation with Christina happened before her absence; perhaps I should catalog and reflect upon the archive of our conversations.  They are worth writing and rewriting.  I appreciate that I had no boundaries with her and rarely a filter; it took a long time to develop beyond our toxicity and mutual abuse so I wouldn’t recommend it, but the end result was a kind of radical and absurd conversational freedom without fear of judgment.  I miss her and I cannot explain how much in written or spoken language.

Oarsmen, oarsmen where have you been?  I’ve been to the Leafy; I’ve dismembered the Queen

I oar other obvious eclipse     I oar omen rain room

I oar onto opal or onyx     I oar onto open ouroboros / body spirals or book spells     I spell Book speed and I follow the Book, whose every page reveals abyss     I follow the Book, which the wing shines with the name     The Book opens where the wing shines with her name: Christina     Christina always Christina and she oars with dead and by dead (Christina accompanies as a psychopomp)

(He left frustrated shores and embarked on your book     You have not left the book since     You could not have     But sometimes the space between the lines is so large that you seem to tread on new ground     The margins are so wide     The book chains us together)

I leave the frustrated shores of the Book for the frustrated shores of the Book     I live the frustrated shores of the Book into and onto the frustrated shores of the Book     I share the shore with feathers and feathers frustrate leaves of grass     Grass does not last but transforms feathers linger

I oar Book body without organs ouroboros     I oar oak row spiral spill letters / I oar other obvious eclipse…

I have difficulty writing because I grieve Christina and I experience a sort of dagger depression (Desert drive depression abomination of desolation and decapitation after crucifixion)     Depression crucifies complete incomplete golgotha compartment syndrome     (You see seem down a lot though, says Asia.  Like you have manic episodes but that doesn't mean always happy.  You feel I have manic episodes?  Yeah.  I’m surprised because I don’t recall them – could you tell me what I’m like during one?  It’s usually along the lines of “I am the best writer who ever lived!” “I am a genius!” kind of deal.  I’m overexaggerating a bit but you get the idea, says Asia)

I study suicides and I think suicide     I promised Asia I would tell her if my suicide was imminent and I plan to keep that promise: that event will occur still sometime further in the future, but still I study suicides     I study suicides because through reading their narrative, I try to understand my own thoughts which baffle and bewilder and overwhelm me – better and more completely     I study suicides like I study Jewish mysticism or mathematics     (On February 25, 1970, Oliver Steindecker, Rothko’s assistant, found the artist lying dead on the kitchen floor in front of the sink, covered in blood.  He had overdosed on barbiturates and cut an artery in his right arm with a razor blade.  There was no suicide note)

I study suicides and although I’ve never listened to The Plasmatics, the suicide of Wendy O. Williams catches my attention (Williams first attempted suicide in 1993 by hammer a knife in her chest where it lodged in her sternum…) (Her suicide note reads:  I don’t believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time.  I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have.  For me, much the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm)     I contemplate writing a suicide note but the Book itself explains much more than I could ever hope to compress in a few sentences

I oar other obvious eclipse     I oar omen rain room     Rain room mer rhizome     Asia rain aleatoric rhizome random rain / rain forest flesh (Have you read Toni Morrison? I ask Christina.  I have.  She’s cool.  Which books?  Popular ones.  And poems.  Lot of poems.  Asia was reading Jazz awhile ago and some of her writing reminded Asia of my writing.  Yeah, says C.  Direct but imaginative (like imaginary-wise).  Asia likes Toni Morrison better than me though.  She’s OK, says C.  I don’t think I’d like to rank you together.  Toni Morrison should have written about you so you’d rank her high, I say.  Yep!  I think she had more pressing things in mind though.  Shallow reason not to rank us together.  Yeah!  I never said I wasn't shallow.  I’m vain AF.  Who would you rank me with?  No one published.  I think that changes things significantly.  How does publishing change it?  I don’t think Toni Morrison’s real shit was what we see.  She had an editor who had to make it palatable to white people.  I’m thinking Chuck Tingle ranks with me, I say.

I study suicides (On the evening of November 5, Albert [Ayler] again told Mary, “My blood has got to bed shed to save my mother and my brother.”  After an argument, he smashed one of his saxophones over their television and stormed out of the house.  Mary called the police to report Albert missing.  Albert took the ferry to the Status of Liberty and jumped off as the boat neared Liberty Island.)

I jump     I jump word waters woman / rope rhizome red balloon bondage     I jump waters witch warp woman / rope vert ramp coping copulates bonefire and Christina cosmic cocksucker swallows semen crucifixion and guts golgotha     I jump oar other body without organs my torso spills over a theatrical suicide (On January 19, 1982, Woodman died by suicide at age 22 by jumping out of a loft window of a building on the East side of New York city.  An acquaintance wrote:  “Things had been bad, there had been therapy, things have gotten better, guard had been let down…”

I jump sound suicide death space     I jump blues blue bathers and I bathe the spell of spitting Apep     I skip skull the spell trampling on Apep with the left foot     I scribe suicide scripture the spell of taking a spear to smite Apep     I stretch music holy spirit the spell of binding Apep     I stake spongey bone blue Christina bonefire

I Bricoleur Book From Sound-Myth And Machine-Sound

I infer the boundaries of the Book through relentless repetition     The Book defers in the beginning of the world and word and Book repeats word wide random walk awake     I infer the Book redwood bark rhizome and I repeat fever alphabet body deconstruction     I infer the Book incinerations sister insidious cone cinders     Book splits cone crypt coccyx repeated segments / insect segments cup human skulls repeated     I repeat the Book and I repeat the Body abundant son of man / skull magma

I infer the boundaries of the Book by repeated bone alphabet and I throw bereshit oracles only blossoms     Book blades blossoms and the blossoms have appeared on earth     The blossoms have appeared on earth, the time of pruning has arrived; the voice of the turtledove heard the land     Book blossoms inferno and I begin the Book repeated fires and repeated sunflowers (to remember Christina     to recall Christina incompletely / complex in a convex mirror)

I infer the boundaries of the Book through repeated fever alphabets and ball-and-socket barracuda body without organs     Ben body binds with Book word smoke: Ben body birds blossoms Book organs organum

I infer defer fever alphabet / ball-and-socket barracuda ben hinnom     Ball Book infer gall small inset secret increase interference     Interference infer solar anus slag land lag loom lagoon     Infer interference phantom furniture flood conflagration fingers   conflagration fingerling potatoes   partial potash pluma potassium

It begins with orientation and I infer the rose compass from the schemata of the human body     I superimpose human body bell on bell and bodies ship slip conflagration

I begin with orientation and the body of the Book blurs flat fire smooth muscle / machine tonality     I begin bricolage oriented body sagittal plane and I plan a tonal sea     I plane sea of tonality tonic fever alphabet     Fever alphabet bit bone black water mixed with white fire: the firewater passes through various metamorphoses culminating in the sea of tonality

I infer beginning from beginning but the Book bites bitter no end gall small insects (I am gall, I am heartburn God’s most deep decree bitter would have me taste my taste was me)

I infer a beginning body beginning between books and black fires, and my skull cooks lagoon conflagration     Look lagoon disorient body ball-and-socket rose compass and I salt lagoon several human limbs

Book with beginning beguiles algorithmic generation of backgrounds and enemy dispatches     Book by beginning bitter between random even television salt / salt cubist stations of the cross

I infer book fire those of which fan foreign origin / I infer Book fire those of which fan forgotten sounds     Ben body sorts sources source body book and fire

Book contaminates sources mixed water and fire / black water and white fire contaminates Book spine serpent coach catastrophe

I bricoleur those which forest foreign origin and those which fragment forgotten sources     The old and new exist within me with equal waters

I bricoleur myth from forgotten sound sources     I bricoleur sound myth machine serpent / source origin uneven involuntary reflexes     Source south origin uneven rhizomes / acid reflux acid jazz AFX fuck

I bricoleur sound myth and I warp old midtempo beats and breaks into frenzies experiment potpourri     I warp word cut across language god lights     god lights warp god lights river language: Asia Among Rivers language north of the future

I batch myth sound babel: fucked-up break beats   mutant bass   sampledelic collage     Word warp collage garage small grass ash funk: word dirk solar anus desert funnel      I desert ash abomination of desolation and when in the air-conditioned supermarket I realize I had been avoiding the beach

Sound beach myth ringworm ring modulator high-pass filter     Beach bore sound mantra and myth mantra hydra     Myth funk fuck city pop punk liminal tricksters     Myth trick body liminal lime skin lemon fanfiction      Liminal myth thrash lemon body of the threshold and boundary (Her myth plays possum aporias)

Body sound bricoleur boundary line and region     Body sound raw region rough intersection and separation     Body talk taryn threshold floor far bunker holdout (I bricoleur bunker dazzle camouflage howl blueviolet)

I bricoleur funk sampledelia / sugar sunflower highlights scratch laugh     Body scratch laugh trickster turntablism (a red balloon and a redwinged bird)     Bricoleur birds band red balloon balrog: balrog body body m. bison psychocrusher     Red balloon beep beach murder ballads / billboard blackbirds plucky my body clean rain

I learn a rain language and rain improvisation     I learn light rain balloon cleaning and words circulate Asia Aleph Alphabet (I have sometimes felt embarrassed or frustrated by the way I write my conversations with others, especially Asia, but I have grown to appreciate the discontinuity which delivers the discourse of the desert     The discontinuous conversations made words whirlpool islands and I have learned to love their respite even as they contaminate and clip into other sections of the Book – but it’s all one Book and one continuum)

Want me to share something from today that I thought was beautiful? says Asia.  Yes, please.  So we have this student who is very reserved and quiet and wears goth band t-shirts and covers her face with her hair.  We took the kids outside today and I was looking at the trees and such for bugs.  She came up to me and asked what I was doing.  I told her I found a spider and her face lit up.  Then she was excitingly looking for the spider and telling me about her pet tarantulas.  Then we found aphids and ladybugs.  She was so excited.  I’ll never forget the look of joy and curiosity on her face, so pure and wholesome, says Asia.  I really like that story and I agree it is very beautiful, I say.  I think you have a way with connecting to people.  She was also on the wrestling team and got into a fist fight in science class over a frog, says Asia.  She told me how she used to chase boys on the playground with crickets, and I told her I did the same thing.  I think she’s my hero, says Asia.  You’re my hero, I say.

Asia teaches me light language her secret tag tetragrammaton toolbox     Toolbox barrage warps breakbeat and infers insect language fever alphabet

Asia Among Rivers teaches forgotten sound and I synchronize and unsynchronize sound-myth and sound-language radical aleatoric

I look light language holy spirit spiderwebs     I look ladybug language ben hinnom fiery beetles

Aphid fever alphabet collage garage frenzy flesh and flesh funk city pop organ pulse     Pulse body without organs the soft serve swarm of insects (I find a totally unique hat that fits only a single head – my own)

Spiders spindle languages syntax sick and I infer a fever alphabet defer desert      I dream rhizome stream delicious desert dialectics     Delicious divine invasion volleys insects intensities insects / delicious desert model holly again halo

I view or realize Asia as one of my heroes and I have a vision of Asia with a cruciform halo     Halo crucifies halo hunched onto over over or halo     Halo hovers halo corpus hypercubus onto over long song circles     I circle the swimming pool spiders: I circle crane cain cantos     I circle brain ladybug brane second superstring revolution      I revolve red aphid rounds tomorrow never knows nail salon

I view her word warped when mirrors      I manipulate mirrors mirror manipulation asymmetrical     I manipulate mirrors ladybug bodies buttress cruciform halos / circle circle asymmetry

I write asymmetry and I witness asymmetry     Writing ruptures last supper memory

I bricoleur Book from sound-myth and machine-sound     I become Book bricoleur barrage garage collage (her teeth     her big carnivorous teeth send her racing down other lines into the molecular multiplicities, of a becoming-god becoming-jackal)     I bring Book black canvas bricoleur and writing ruptures last supper memory / machine memory remember Christina     (I listen to The Background by Third Eye Blind and I think and grieve Christina:  Well you come swimming into view and I’m hanging on your words like I always used to do   The words they use so lightly I only feel for you   I only know because I carry you around in the background)

I bricoleur background birds bird background birds     Book ball background birds see bird background birds     Bird brass book background girl gore bronze (Christina keeps gory dreams her body in car crash traffic or slim wed by piano wire / wire warp body)     Background round long bird band bronze blood background

Book bares blood bricoleur background     Book machine sound-myth Taryn maker shift background dinosaurs

Background birds bus background birds / Book brass blossoms     My body begins background non-sound summer stardust

Bird lingers     Bird lingers Book and background     Bird lingers background vapour bebop smoke     Background lingers smoke sail single form (my body pierced near the top by a circular hole)     I see the roof single form shingle / shake bird background

Billboard blackbirds pluck my body clean rain backgrounds     Background rain rain Asia among Rivers and her rhizome reaches witchcraft     Crawl in, said the witch, and see if its hot enough to put bread in

I grieve with witches and when witch with I grieve Christina background no sound

I bricoleur bird fragments and certain surfaces share bird feathers     I grieve with witch bird fragments and hauntological     Christina creeps background god backgrounds ben without ground and language bewitch we star stupor

I collect certain surfaces share bird feathers     Surface shake feather bird flavour my body background quarks     I bring background body quark earthquake / my body feathers flat surfaces pitted and scored with three intersecting lines

I collect intersect insects     I collect background inter interest intense insects insects intersection     I interpret intra inter other sect schism sections increase sections insects     In tin trine trade insects stretch sex insects     I infer intersection set thorax rare tracks gale god groove rude mood     Insect idle intersections background sex background radiation     Raptor radiation rains clear ray birds of prey palm feathers

I write last supper memory strange insects     I witness last supper ghost Christina slot machine strange insects     Strange insects wash hypercube corpus hypercube body boron local maximum     I hash heather insects or leather insects     I ash lash leather liaison sonar background feathers feather frequency

I frequent feathers and I interpret insects     I read feather divination divine invasion desert     I look slow motion insects lambda koyaanisqatsi / lollipop liturgy     I look insects liturgical lighting field feather feathers /I carry you around in the background     I carry you around sucked up pollen by the bee in me     Honeybird hoards a series on angels

I read Kurt Schwitter’s sound poem Ursonate, composed / performed between 1922-1933 and I recognize I feel a love-hate relationship with sound poetry (that is, poetry without semantic content and made with pure phonetic sounds and rhythms)     I fee a lineage and ancestry between sound poetry and my work, and I feel too cowardly to commit to a complete lack of semantics or even a kind of sound symbolism – of course, I know some people who have read my work feel it commits to sound without recognizable semantics     Because I hew somewhat close to sound poetry without being sound poetry, I feel a contentious relationship with it, like how familial relationships produce a difficult tension not present in other relationships

Crawl in, said the witch, and see if it’s hot enough to put bread in / all roads lead to rooms

I crawl centipedes and millipedes and I grow through so many bodies in each other ben hinnom slowly extracted from the group of the girls with its own numbers, organization, code, and hierarchy

I crawl tree spider and jumping spider spinning wheel     I warp the wheel as word body witches     Crawl in said the witch and body without organs bewitches random walk rhizome     I walk rhizome and all roads lead to rooms

I bricoleur witch words and bitches brew     Bitches brew pursues red balloon cauldron balrog     I brew or bricoleur lead balloon radon balloon led zeppelin (Ben cauldron with witches grieve clutching my crumble jumble among tombs and in caves and in dream visions)

I walk random walk witches and my body bewitched rope / all roads lead to rooms rope rhizome     I write rope among tombs and in caves and between dream visions

An illustrated lesson in tying: it’s easy!  One can do so much with only seven meters of rope

Word warps and ties me with when line boundary and threshold     I tie open room and open road to the colony of warming insects

Rope reads rhizome red balloon bondage     Rope vert ramp coping copulate bonfire bondage / blended irish whiskey

I bricoleur myth and rope myth rhizome / I photograph fugitive insects     I bricoleur eye myth and rope myth rhizome duck rabbits / I run desert rampant

I kill holy ghost Christina and her myth cuts rabbit fur and purple martin feathers     I kiss Christina cave carcass circulation circulation cave feathers (I plot feathers flother her textures)     I rope roof plot play partition insect particular feathers

I kiss Christina delicious desert and delicious desert dialectic various feathered-dinosaurs     Candlewax crumbs I carry you around in the background saw candlewax / haunted house of wax waxwork vincent price     I wish Christina was here     I carry her around in the background     I bricoleur Christina myth and Christina sound witches