The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom
The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom Road rob rob ray ram ran road: road excess excesses Road ray ray rask vision excess / rays rascal sexy redhead and the devil’s kiss Ray saying sewing swing ray radian rabbit Radius rabid rabbit Ray rush ray Road circle spiral spill radiation: spill radio excess road runoff
The road to excess examine exceed experiment Experiment immediate inside road rough rhythm: road rhythm symptom / let the rhythm hit’ em
What road rewrites road Interest insects excess road rewrite road What road: road word Road word logos and legion / legion logia I meet moth wing excess: excessive road experiment I meerkat kat marimba free jazz excess or excessive force excessive writing
(excessive writing: I push the sounds around too much)
I push road ramp damp dawn runoff: run off over subterranean rain Over rain road rampage: rain pour renegades of funk
I write excess earth free jazz jubilee or road orgiastic death n’ roll rain runover Rain runover riot runoff
I write secret earth excess mass mess liturgical light: light ray rain road circular ruins door hinge Write rain door hinge cellar door: cellar door dance desert languages Language lean light rain rain rhythm: free rhythm free jazz earth experiment Jazz experience jubilee experiment christ mass ouroboros Christ mass chiaroscuro ouroboros obscure christmas light soft round monument Mound monolith monument mountain mothlight excite (mothlight excitebike body without organs) (mothlight monolith excess body organs orgasms)
Road unorder rain ornate ouroboros Road observer rain ouroboros baroque behemoth
Road ratio rhizome rain rain multiples Road multiples rain rain ruin body: body bock boulder black pigment pinetar (These things occur to me not from the root up but rather from somewhere in the middle: it begins to grow only from their middle)
Middle road ratio midway word woman: woman middle arcade road cascades The road to excess mine earth middle middle Krystal canopy Krystal bridal canopy shekinah shakers middle rain sneakers (rain sneak space supersoaker) (slower road rain middle multiples)
Wisdom tins minds word graffiti woman Wisdom worships woman middle word word make I make rain and road middle body excess Word wisdom window rains through my body awake wake voice rain Word wisdom wisdom window wake woman ben body bonfire Word winnow wisdom threshing floor fire woman / ben body burn venom Venom road vista vulcan woman vulcan vision: vision middle bodies Venom vigor gods giallo god giallo genital gore table of generations god gore graphic porno excess (ORGY OF THE DEAD Come… let me take you in my golden arms! In gorgeous astravision and shocking sexicolor with Criswell and a bevy of beautiful girls! For adults only!)
Road fun from rear rhizome no god neon god giallo neon road bauble blown glass body Blown glass giallo juggles body desert dragonfly Road risk middle a dragonfly for each corpse Dragonfly fire middle gorgon goblet Dragonfly road round wing skin email scams Grand guinol dragonfly neon wall hall flag physics Physics physique scams skin oral torah Oral Torah outside middle where subterranean (Book as assemble with the outside)
Outside dragonfly sum subterranean streetly strata Strata middle street photography: gory hagiographies bloodstained shadow Gory giallo hagiographies witch only blackness Only blackness dragonfly in the folds of the flesh
Slow Transformation Of Spirals
I assemble antinomies Antipodes assemble antimonies assemble texts contradictions Assemble anarchic ahead open allow agon open body Agon open body text anarchic agon archetype Agon open air body aerated ether theater microcosm ben body airs taryn aether Yahweh of armies army eva anarchy Eva anarchic excavate spiral jetty body Spiral jetty enjambs body jaw jazz Jaw jam jazz body jinx text: I assemble text I assemble text texts naked eye observatory I observe text odd texts tunnel name Taryn name tunnel syntax
Taryn text name tunnel microcosm: microcosm macrocosm antipode proportions Antipode proportions porous actions: act Taryn Act syntax Taryn microcosm macrocosm text chasm
Assemble texts process choil coil chasm: Taryn chasm cobweb turtleneck
I process texts musics: musics divine comedies musics ominous odyssey (Flowing rhythmically through the spheres, an Egyptian serpent of the ‘life-force’ Its three heads represent the divine trinity in the three dimensions of space and three aspects of time) I process three heads three hells trinities divinities virginities leviathans
Musics movies moments momentums: momentums microcosms macrocosms Musics museums serpents repetitions labyrinths: labyrinth lighthouse sous hauntologies Musics marteau sans maitre maloveolent body hammer / microcosm desert delirium Musics body drink delirium desert delight near-sighted Near-sighted name music triangle hangnail tetragrammaton
Three heads table: heads table salt steppe steam monsoon Three heads gorilla monsoon a clothesline and a beauty
Three heads texts talk therapy topology
Three tea text turpentine / I thin texts with human bodies I thin texts hands heads hells: three seed black tea theater I string three heads to make a necklace, neck lace blood and black lace Lace light moth wing whip and the body: body air body text syntax fuck
Three time free space: this is where time becomes space Three time table turtle salt turtleneck neck blood and black lace / lap dance lacerations Three head necklace laceration immolation
I experience human more essential than divine Human crane compass: human crane compass outscrop tower trace of divine Human hit compass edge ledge three hundred traces Yahweh I hang human hold shoulder smother starfish gods: human starfish burned big dipper I human harsh noise delirium nail gun I string sound three heads dismembered god heads god heads decapitations heretics Heretic thistle whistle wall wedge shred Shredded wheat head woman Wail wing space spring woman Spring space word time three woman My hands distract pilot space
I experience space written scissor I experience space human spider I listen carefully or not so carefully to Morton Feldman’s For Bunita Marcus and I attempt to learn the space repetition ribbon riptide repents space Space repeats spike space repetition rich speed Speed variety spirit spike irregular repetition (I learn from Morton Feldman’s irregular repetition field repeats and I tend to treat the page as field)
I experience human repetition repeat bodies file figure shadow I experience human fat candle corpse: corpse catacomb contact gotterdamarung Corpse clear code cryptid an exquisite corpse I experience human exquisite corpse languages: liquid language body animations lawnmower medicine Lawnmower corpse cartoons Corpse cigarette carton no coffin but alphabets / animal alphabet bonfire my bones Anarchic bone corpse animates ben segment ben boustrophedon writing corpse I experience writing couple: ben body without organs
I experience human body without organs I experiment body without organs not schizoanalysis but sound sculpture Sound sculpt son of man bog skeleton ben bog sound slough leaf bread loaf lac: blood and black lace bread loaf necklaces
Human height hitch towers tack trace t rack Yahweh saddle sabaoth I sabotage sabaoth sabbath serpent sabbatai sevi I experiment more middle human rhythm Human rhythm middle rhythm (How does one translate the glissando into written form: PURE CONTINUOUS SOUNDSCAPES… Glissandi means the reader has more freedom to interpret the text… Glissandi grapples god wrestle writing no order for noun phrase fraggle rock fragment Glissando grapple gungen god wrestle knots
(Use scriptio continua Scriptio scriptura scripa continua with ambiguous word pairings: compare Philip K. Dick’s ruminations on NOWHERE as either NO WHERE or NOW HERE) (I abandon the glissando and scriptio continua without starting but I make not for future ben)
I process texts as musics music myths math rhythm: rhythm divine comedy comics cork comedies Process pause poke peak sneak sprint serpent: spring sprint serpent surf three heads I surf three heads hop chop children of men I surf serpent salt salmon shard process (time lime lye leviathan lipstick lipstick leviathan lodestone stereo stereo radio radon surf)
Lime lion lodestone leviathan lester leaps in Yahweh
Lion lurch search light lye lester leaps in immediate intervals
Research more sound poetry Research more fire firstborn Fray firstborn fires in fires Flay firstborn set fire to the face on fire Fresh firstborn faces fires smoke smog burning flesh fragrances I write the Book research and I write the Book firstborn human experience experiment
I write the Book I write the Book motherfucker I write Book motherfucker cocksucker and you: you are the one who writes and the one who is written I write Book motherfucker cocksucker and the coocoo clock cocoa composes bird symphonies Bird symphonies bird cantatas bird cages eight songs for a mad king Ben eight songs for a mad king you are the one who writes and the one who is written (I don’t know what it means for my body to be written except perhaps Yahweh dips my body John the Dipper – benjamin a queer quill – into magenta hell magick) Yahweh makes marks with my skull mining millipede orange charcoal cough
I liked it, says Asia. I liked how lyrical it was, how it kept referencing music. I like the touch of body horror. I would have liked to see a change in tempo or something that was a change in pace to ground it, she says. I’m surprised you like it because it’s not as cohesive as the other it’s not as cohesive and the other excerpts I have sent you recently. I feel like I was trying something. I was in fact trying to unground the language since you mention the ground. Like pushing it towards an abstraction where it groups up in clusters and constellations or clothed blood cells rather than through another means, I say. What if you started a piece like that slowly with long sentences then let it disintegrate into the abstract and then bring it back, says Asia. Like an ebb and flow, she says. That's an idea, I say. I think one thing I do is it takes me a long time to adapt to new techniques, so I forget them and then try them again when I remember. So it’s kind of funny when a new technique gets introduced multiple times over a long time span. This excerpt made me think of some things I’m trying to do now, like those ugly body / burlesque lines I sent you yesterday… This is what one friend said:
"I thought it was great, liked a lot of the uncharacteristic comparisons / groupings like: Genetically modified ouroboros bar funk lemon-flavored baguettes’. Also after another re-read, really noticing the punctuation usage and how it fits into the reading (like how subconsciously I hear anything in parentheses in a different voice/tone.”
My friend Violet said:
"I think you're becoming limited with the medium you chose. Like one string of words in a standard typeset and only one typeface and size and weight. I think that you can capture it a lot more resoundly if you expanded the medium a bit. Maybe adding variable weight to just start"
I thought that was an interesting comment – to explore the medium (font, boldness, size) rather than change the content – to let the medium change to support the content rather than the other way around. I agree, says Asia, though I think you can do a lot with just sentence lengths. I’m not sure about using a bunch of fonts though. Yeah, I’m reluctant to explore that, I say. I told Violet I really like the idea of manipulating the medium but only until I reached the very limit of what I am currently doing. But if I get stuck, I want to try focusing on the medium. Obviously there’s a risk of dramatically reducing readability with messing with fonts… I had an idea when you were talking about sentence lengths. What are your thoughts on spirals? I say. Depends – elaborate and I’ll tell you what I think, says Asia. I’m thinking literal mathematical spirals, I say. You suggested one long sentence, disintegrating it slowly and then reconstructing it and it made me think of a spiral like this [Fermat’s Spiral]. I was thinking of another type of sentence structure of alternating long and short sentence structures slowly changing over time, the longest ones becoming shorter and the shorter ones becoming longer. I like that idea, says Asia.
So for example:
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Let’s say I have alternating long and short sentences like that and they slowly transform into their opposition over the page:
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It makes me think of transforming concentric circles or spirals. This would take a lot of planning. I will probably do multiple things at once like I always do, but I appreciate your feedback. I want to add to my toolkit. I want more tools I’m fluent in. I still want to play with expressing my emotions like you suggested – writing metacommentaries – using our conversations as jumping off points and anchors – exploring music and other books. I have to keep surprising you, you know. Have you find new shelves in your thrift store... I feel like I’m either writing the best stuff in the world or I write worthless shit… Your critiques give me a move evidence-based confidence in my art because you’re picky about writing, I say. It helps I think you don’t write narrative, because then all I have left is the feel of the words, says Asia. I do think you are right about the piece being very abstract. Like I said, I would have liked for there to have been something to bring it to earth a little, says Asia. More bones? An Asia conversation? Also I’m glad you appreciated the horror imagery. I think it goes well with some of your current themes and emotions, says Asia. In the passage the violence was being done to yourself by yourself I think it fit well. I’m not feeling good about my body, I say. I know. I do feel much of the horror is self-directed – even if it’s outside of me ti always comes back to me. Like the misogyny passages are ultimately my misogyny, I say.
Everything Is A Cipher
I start with text an text any Start with text any with as text wheels scripture Text wheels scripture all whirlwind the the toy whip of human body Human body whip scorpion tail text Tail text Taryn I write text old and new (The Book as old as fire and water) Untamed text tentacles Taryn marriage of heaven and hell hydra:
Here is a film that I made out of deep grief
Film flesh film flesh (they were young and lovely enough for anything REFORMATORY GIRLS)
Film flesh flash shutter forty fifty Flesh film flatted fifth bebop bodies nude beach bathers Film full unfixed: fixed unfixed flesh Fixed window unfixed ben woman: woman cinema mouth pornography Woman pornography motorcycle swim film (visions of you on a motorcycle drive by the cigarette ash flies in your eyes and you don’t mind)
I film ben body body grieving gods Film fire fight god gloves off oozes syntactic motor oil monsters Film fight fire fish scale cat scan catholic cancer (fight fire with fire ending is near)
Film frame full god forth unfixed: unfixed eye unfixed flesh fire fresco / I make cinema a mausoleum and then an empty tomb I make cinema return of the living dead valley of the drums sum disasters Valley of the drums diffused dead cancer alley archaic human skull male bull bowl open body I film body open god begotten I film body feline flat circle nervous system System film fathom frigid Taryn tundras System film flesh system of a down dreams are made winding through her hair
In this film, I read Frank O’Hara’s The Day Lady Died and it’s daily details film my body beatrice beetles baphomet infernos I intend to copy Frank O’Hara and improvise ben body machine body mundane mechanisms this personal inferno and purgatory (Usually when you write how you feel, it’s a bit disconnected, says Asia, but this one doesn’t come across that way. I love the bit about feeling lukewarm, spit from the mouth of Christ, says Asia).
I grieve tree graft graphomania and I film world tree / the tree of life upside down I film fender stratocaster upside down all long the watchtower tin whistle Taryn Tin whistle war Taryn the long and winding road Thin tin Taryn twin tar thunder tundra / timeless cigarettes Time cigar cigarettes film the only emperor is the emperor of ice cream
Film forage forest body funnel feline grief: cat Christina squeezes cat people jump scare bus stop fiesta fungus Ben body fleet film fungus these crazy moths fly into the candlelight and burn themselves to death and the burning happens to me Ben burns other otre ent cert saw body
I assemble film bodies I assemble film body grotesque David Cronenberg’s The Fly Assemble body slime spy body transmigration of the souls as pod teleportation Assemble body Milton Bradley’s Battleship shotgun god face-to-face blood surfaces (They craved flesh with a hunger! BLOOD LUST plus See it – feel it – taste it Once you have had it you will never be the same!!! BLOOD MANIA it’s a deadly nightmare!) Blood matrix muscle muscle spasm mortar landmine assemblage
Body body assemblage assemblage blood metric Blood melody midway metric camp blood Blood melody midway metric camp blood Blood melody mosaic midway blood soap strop sud bubble assemblage
I assemble microcosmic soul and macrocosmic universe according to ideal proportions expressed in sequence of tones Sequence of tones sequence of towers Taryn eschaton escher sequenzas
I assemble texts process musics blood melody: musics divine comedies cyclops ominous odysseys (flowing rhythmically through the sphere, an Egyptian serpent of the life-force Its three hinds represent the divine trinity in the three dimensions of space and the three aspects of time)
Texts process time three Taryn future flesh shade time slices fanzine faux frankenstein (no one who saw it lived to describe it! THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN)
Text turn taryn talk tin tint three time: time times point time process Process film text moth mix figure with meat more process Process more text texts process musics I music text blood manic blood I music text lust blood bard medea: medusa blood gorgon gods guts gas pigment Gas siphon gas gangrene text pigment (State of decomposition, depicted in full gory detail. The boyfriend of Sorg’s newest model becomes suspicious of the artist and worries that his girlfriend might end up as a painting. Horror fans will love the satiric approach H. G. Lewis takes with COLOR ME BLOOD RED. The acts of violence, although graphic and shocking in nature, and treated so lightly by the artist, that the entire film takes on a slight feeling of comedy)
Color collect body body blood comedy Color television collect assemble body play color comedy Color film technicolor collect body riverbank body chisel channel Channel chisel the blood proportions pencil graphite gear flesh Channel body cannery row rabbit body night of the lepus Lepus leap year Yahweh improvisations Yod dark blood bath I bath color other yod body Yod Hay body heat sheet proportions
Proportion blood text tart taryn ramp music Ramp amp music archaic human (I conflate the penis and breast into a biomorphic skull ben with taryn text tumors)
Body proportion machine man woman blood word I color text male mural most machine malchut: text mural gospel of mark Mark muscle matrix gospel god color me blood red / Yahweh drenched in crimson color
She reminds me of the body composed of sinew muscle blood: color me blood red god texts tuning film Tune film just intonation photographs
Here is a film that I made cut of deep grief deep blood I grieve blood film color scratches onto film: film into onto blood mud Film free blood grief body gesture I gesture grief film action painting photograph surrealisms
Here film hare hair: dreams made winding through her hair
Here film somewhat flattened / steamroll flathead film flesh screwdriver Screwdriver tusk taryn task tangent and contingent Contingent continental drift less dress color Nude color long legs less dress film
Here film frog gothic cathedral moth Film frog here cedar sneak tea Taryn pornographic film fear street insects (Some have accused me of purple prose. I remember that one guy who asked you if you were doing automatic writing. That was me! But like, articulate this to me: Explicit photographs of wondrous sharks my skull centering midnights My skull spills dark My skull splits dark oil spill radio crackles down my face… It means what it says. This is very real though: I feel melancholy and nostalgic. I often feel flat and embarrassed to express my own emotions in writing and so I endless quote and copy other texts… It is real. I write the true rhyme and rhythm. I prophesy deep time deep body deep geology)
Here film flies buzzing around my and vultures circling the dead Here film here now unneat noise Noise spills film fierce fans grief Nonlinear film nonlinear grief grab god
I paint my body horizontal blood blood band width which word Width witch rowed wall drawing I draw wall blood body horizontal skeleton skeleton annunciation Annunciation annihilation gnostic horizontal: horizon gospel gills gullwing car door Door horizontal blood desert I paint my body film material strip strip double exposure son of man: son of man nuclear skeleton
All is the same nothing is the same
I make light of matter
In these very rare cases, the patient imagines that everything happening around him is a veiled reference to his personality and existence. He excludes real people from the conspiracy, because he considers himself to be much more intelligent than other men. Phenomenal nature shadows him where he goes. Clouds in the staring sky transmit to each other, by means of slow signs incredibly detailed information regarding him. His inmost thoughts are discussed at nightfall, in manual alphabet, by darkly gesticulating trees. Pebbles or stains or sunflecks form patterns representing in some awful way, messages that he must intercept. Everything is a cipher and of everything he is the theme.
I adore the short story “Signs and Symbols” by Vladimir Nabokov and this passage in particular (which I have quoted in portions before) I feel too experience a sort of referential mania or paranoid ideas of reference: I think I’d be incapable of my highly association word conglomerations-constellations-aggregates I aggregate word language I’m an aerostar I’m a cutlass supreme I sign human skin sleek snow then deep red Deep red delusions of reference / ideas of reference idee fixe light fixtures Light fixture forest furniture I sign human signature son of man wild memory sound Mercury museum mausoleum site-specific installations idee fixe Symbol idee fixe gospel symphonie fantastique Fiberglass bloodlust monomania / ben body idea fixe unfixed cloud cryptograms Unfixed cloud of unknowing cryptogram (every single idee fixe but expression of a deeply deranged psychic individuality and probably an indicator of an incipient form of mania)
Everything is a cipher: Jesus Christ transforms KING FELIX transforms Christina Marie
Everything is a cipher: flesh cipher surface cipher soft flesh flow softcore earth pornography Cipher soft flesh egg sign stations of the cross conspiracies / Christina catacombs crucify my ben flesh flesh cut god copulation Christ cut copulate earth erection rough Flesh cut rough crispy chicken skin
Everything is a cipher: cinema mach cipher mockingbird Cinema mockingbird referential mania dandelion wine machines Machine mania body dandelion neumes / cut human skin solfege My referential mania mimics butterfly wings open hi-hats Slow cinema my mind shutters shell scrape inscape color me blood red Ben blood corpuscles creep crepe flatiron body: body cast iron action Action blood lust blood mania Slow cinema stutter skull soft sofa flesh cipher Cipher cinema slow groove funk god mutant disco
When language breaks down a bit, it becomes exciting
My referential mania continues machine the very air I exhale indexed and filed away
All in the same nothing is the same
These crazy moths are flying into the candlelight and burning themselves to death, and that’s what's happening to her
Moth money shot Moth mouth money shot Aglossa cuprina ingests great produced by the bacteria that feed on decaying matter Ben body moth mouth movie a highly polyphagus pest
I let the light burn I let light burn my mouth moth bloody Blood burns light bringing in the sheaves Sheave slight skin signs gethsemane Sheave symbols white-lined sphinx sar salt saw shape sign
I’m feeling the full horror of some kind of immolation Minimal immolation maximal crucifixion Repeat minimal marsh space moth light: light lights leak leek lure Lure moon minimal moth saint maud immolation (I’m interested in complexity but not confusion) I feel several horrors: complex horror complicated horror horror hostile confusion Horror hints confusion jazz fusion Horror hints free jazz full body orgasm Horror immolation immelman head watermelon Ben head bitter melon Horror harlot color me blood red campfire Campfire body without organs blood ooze odd number orgasms
Over the light bulbs, there’s all these dead moth wings, and I… hate that. Such a sadness: there must surely be something to do with that. I tenderly picked them out and started pasting them onto a strip of film, to try to… give them life again, to animate them again, to try to put them into some sort of life through the motion picture machine.
Light bulb ben body Light bulb ben beech plum moth body Light bulb body bulbous beetle breech beach moth light
Light bulb ben body moth light lossless Bulb beat light ben body blind loss blood Color me blood red over the light bulbs Give me mothlight Morton Feldman Mothlight ben mouth body p-funk mothership Ship sits inside light outside light Out light low wings
Wings sing woman Wings worry my body woman matter width: width myth wings Wings klang swing woman her mouth worries my body My mouth worries ben body arrangement of wings Thin wings film sling woman sewing machine light material / I make light of matter
Wing move bird bat moth Wing skin move membrane taryn train thorax sewing machine insect Wing thin extension tension taryn air lateral Wing thin pine ash elm else light Light else wing evangeline
Mothlight motor laughter Moth wings stagger somme summer her magick Mothlight magus ultramagnus moon magician Mothlight motifs leitmotif lights labor lights lip locust lights Mothlight desiring-machine marshland lip loose linen no limits Mothlight ler lir liminal limbo Mothlight lir lin liminal lilac light: lyrical lusty light Lyric lost light Krystal lin lateral bone ben bone largo ben bone leaks largo left-handed Modern mothlight malaria Modern moonlight medial medium medicine More moth more bone ben body
Always on guard, I devote every minute and module of my life to decoding the modulation of things
Always I assemble texts All ways arc art lamp I assemble alphabets Alphabets light all moth mere magma molten geology languages Moth languages light metatron polygons (regular division of the plane with asymmetrical congruent polygons / vibrating claw hand is essential to really get that Dan Deacon sound)
All ways wing sing woman I assemble texts alphabets human bodies All ways moth mouth machine minimal merchant alphabet bat robotics infant insects Infant insects nymph door knock nude I answer alphabet nude and I process texts as music I process texts musics sequence of towers taryn / I talk towers lighthouse tunnels prophesy)
I talk towers mountain mothlights / street lamp long linen transmigration of souls
I assemble microcosm moth chasm coil boil body: body berber babel barbarian macrocosm I assemble
I Mourn With Mothlight
I received an order to conduct contrary acts (I conduct opposing acts I conduct antagonistic acts I conduct contrary acts) I conduct act aleatoric Act aleatoric electric acts apostles Apostles acts apostates heretic hang wire: I walk hang wire apostle apostate heretic schism Heretic aleatoric tints interferences cancel cancel: camel depopulation cancel Cancel contrary cancel cool contradiction
Tightrope tourniquet tighten: hang wire hacksaw rip grave filled
I conduct opposing acts Elliott Carter Concerto For Orchestra / Charles Ives Symphony No. 4
I conduct contrary acts antinomian alice adventures aleatoric underground Antinomian texts speak tetragrammaton and sign serpent stations of the cross / chemical or cocoon ben bodies I boil human bodies lye lime lipstick: lie lime lipstick limerick
Conduction clowns cross coimc play: I conduct contrary play I play and pilot multiplicities Play and pilot pigeonhole principle Play pilot pigeon excess purgatories Excess purgatories pomegranates / rose garden gruppen pomegranates
I make or mark signs of the cross I mark signs gospel linearly independent gospel of mark Machine minimal stations of the cross cook Barnett Newman alchemy Machine zip contrary markan priority: I ride zip zebra dance contraries I ride zebra animal oracle barnett newman zone stalker zips I stalk gospel wheat stalk stick hell Hell stick speculum that doesn't shine speculative flesh human science fictions
I mention mothlight mothlight machine body I myth mothlight math film flesh skull celluloid My skull skips drawing stones stone stomach stick stench Stick stench zip stalk flesh funk: funk mothlight lipid flesh More light mothlight mere mention
Here is a film I made out of deep grief. The grief is my business in a way, but the grief was helpful in squeezing the little film out of me, then I said “these crazy moths are flying into the candle light and burning themselves to death, and that’s what’s happening to me…”
Urgrund grief grief rammar Urgrund grief gallop gurgle gospel guts my guts without god My graph body guts grotesque without god grab glyph rift black sabbath riff I wife riff grief god hangs my guts shore river stones
Conversations With Asia 07/05/2020 5:32 AM
Everyone else gets to be unreasonable, says Asia. Why don’t I get to be unreasonable? Being reasonable with them sure didn't work. Damned if I do damned if I don't I guess. I feel like no matter what I do I’m going to be painted like I’m in the wrong. I would say “So why not have fun with it?” but I’m not having fun… I’m just hurt and really fed up with their shit and part of me feels like letting my guard down again means that they are going to walk all over me again, she says.
I don’t always appreciate Asia’s givenness and vulnerability and openness with her givenness I often don’t realize I demand much of her
Asia told me the other day: I’m struggling with stress and anxiety at the moment so I have to admit when I first saw the message about how it’s important for me to rad it, I had to put my phone down and compose myself for a moment. Because at the time it was feeling like yet another thing that I had to pour focus and energy and time and attention to. Like I’ll never be able to relax because everything in dependent on me giving 110 percent, she says.
I often demand 110 percent of Asia’s time, energy, and attention, and I do not realize I take advantage of her vulnerable and open givenness I demand more awareness of my relationships but with kindness and self-love I appreciate Asia and our friendship I should cut this out but writing heals and to write heals: heals galactic pot maker Stephanie steers ben body stretch antlers heal no god
Christina or Stephanie Asia or Sophia
Kendrick Lamar raps: I grieve different I grieve different (We all grieve different)
I grieve grapevine god I grieve god grandiose geometer gin ben body grand guinol hut guts Grieve grotesque gunpowder body wounds wind-up bird body without organs Ben body without organs row geraniums: god granulosum snow roses Rose rhizome rhythm without god
I grieve god without god: god ghost gauntlets ghost genealogies gumdrop roses
Grassland grief grapple glassware life in a glass house House histories hauntologies Mixed monograph hauntologies motor glass mixed media glass
These crazy moths are flying into the candlelight and burning themselves to death and that’s what’s happening to me. I don’t have enough money to make those films… and I’m not feeding my children properly because of these dawn films you know. And I’m burning up here… What can I do?
I mention moth as material: I mark moth material I grieve moth gospel of mark Metal moth music: metallic right wing moth a little night music Minus moth makes media / I mix moth media minus god Microgod cicada emergences Microgod metereology grassland logion Grasshopper hunter logion / microgods micropastics Microgods where there are there gods they are gods; where there are two or three, I am with him
I marry moth as I marry light I marry moth material masculine mask mirror mirrored light snow Minimal moth most material mast cell light loft sail moth Minimal moth local maximum marx glass ghost grasshopper (minimal moth curve/ mothlight langauge multiplitiers) Language grassland languages light magnitudes and multitudes / I marry moth mixed multitudes I marry moth mixed multitudes mixed lamps lights Lamplight Book of Los and vivid light an adverb An adverb moth vision / I dream the green pergesa hawkmoth and I sketch its head, thorax, and abdomen purplish grey I paint the vertex of its head and its dorsolateral stripe to thorax and abdomen green I dream green fiona forests forest phoneme metamorphosis
Moth metamorphosis phoneme green phenomenon dream: dream moth material modernist marriage of heaven and hell
Moon mezzazine zebra moonlight measures magnesium moth mark Magnesium moth gospel of mark dream green monstrous
Monstrous moth metamorphosis floods light microlepidoptera taryn train tracks Taryn shroud of turin moth cigarette minuets
Moths fly into candlelight tantalum lamp lustrous light lusty light voluptuous moths: moth pin up materials
Moth fly candlelight fly by wire wizard of gore / gore without god Moth fly candlelight swollen lymph node warp narcelles (and I know that it’s not a party if it happens every night pretending there’s glamour and candelabra when you’re drinking by candlelight) Moth fly feel the funk blast: feel the funk blast ben body without organs
I assemble the microcosmic soul and macrocosmic universe according ot the ideal proportions expressed in sequence of tones I tine tone tomb: trine tone empty tomb I tent tent empty tomb rhizome resurrections: resurrection revolution insurrection I tent text tone inversions / retrograde roses Rhizome roses retrograde inversions I tone tome written tomb taryn resurrections / restless riptide porous Taryn mothlight
I assemble tone assemblages I assemble text assemblages
I Clown Christ And Game God
I erase Yahweh excess elm ephrata / effect edit error I do not erase error but write
Erase erase cease sea seizes erase Edge edit erase ease eddy egg Edge egg emit eats eye / eye erase not Yahweh wire wild eye Eye wild weed Yahweh syntax fuck gehenna Gift gehenna game gethsemane Gift gloom gehenna mar mushroom
I erase experiment I stall so I steal (texts distill in my stomach car trunk / copper mine moonshine) What I mean: mob messy and pipe light What I mean: lately I wrestle the writing without joy or play and I take myself too seriously (we take ourselves too seriously we sneak as many politics as we can but who will be the last to realize that sometimes selling out is waking up) Erase early morning experiment eek etch excess experiment / I shit scribework or scrollwork I piss pus palimpsest plus plus body performance I worry excess sound stress stink I write no fun no play I take myself too seriously I struggle to loosen up the process of the writing: ben brain resists rigid same old shit Shit solid sumac big mac machine attic mimic Map sap taproot mimic body performance punnet squares Square syntax stucco straight steel Brutalist benjamin mold and mildew stuckist fucking Factory fuck stuck body syntax no dance / I dance dunce cap
Am I so different from Old Jake? I say to C. Reimagining women I have encountered in my life in my own creation and fantasy of the Book? We’re all like that, says Christina. We all have a Lucy or Louisa or whoever we all think of as ideal but is a sham. We’re all just flawed people trying to make it through, says Christina. I sometimes think about ending things, I say. I do too, says C. I feel like I’m only a quilt of texts sometimes, I say. I’m all stolen with no essence. I think all that stuff has to stick to something, says C. That's kind of the saving race I can think of, she says.
(I’m thinking of ending things. Once this thought arrives, it stays. It sticks, it lingers, it dominates. There’s not much I can do about it. Trust me. It doesn’t go away. It's there whether I like it or not. It’s there when I eat. When I go to bed. It’s there when I sleep. It’s there when I wake up. It’s always there. Always.)
I never end but I go back to the room and write I write other or over: my face over on overlaps faces face facet frequent fires I think about ending things but I never end: I go back to the room and write and I paint the room white then rainbow infrared fire pigments
I erase Yahweh – no, I write the desolate place and pray the desolate place Yahweh under erasure I pray earth inside earth erases impossible ink Ink imps ore iridium impossible name her name numbers every name / god gematria urgrund groundless Urgrund time texts ground groundless granite grammar god gruppen gas gehenna groundless gethsemane: gethsemane sesame seeds sawdust pus groundless Gematria god geometry light meter machine gethsemane Gematria semantics no semantics cell sound pottery gematria
I place the name YHWH under erasure immense intensities: immense flows intense flows Yah face-to-face YHWH annihilates apophatic and apocalyptic prayer prayer desolate place YHWH annihilates seer sum assemblages abyss: abyss array names number prophetic I prophesy abyssal name gore gap god KRYSXTRYN I now name gnosis nest KRYSXTRYN (Christina in code / crypt or Christina secret crisis) I cinder slow Christina charcoal cave pigment / my palm pencils hunting magic Cinder camp slow god ghost stories story antler Christinas Antler Christina antler Christina sting sheds god horns Horn Christina horn light secretes shake slime secret time crisis Time tears time crisis horn light gun gamma ray spectacle Spectacle spool the speculum that desert shine Spectacle spool shim speculum spermatozoa Spool sperm Yod Hay Vav Hay Christina secret crisis sower seed Yod Hay Vav Hay
Yod Hay Vav Hay secret vowels human name utterly alien absolute Human name Yah wholly other her name Her name crucifies every name and I pick up names Yahu and Yesua as cross I pick up names Christ and Christian several crossbeams ultrabeam light wheel fiasco
I erase Yahweh emanations earths surfs salts names Erase Yah name egg yolk exegesis: erase erector set embryos embolisms Pray desolate place pulmonary embolism big body numbers (this blood clot mimics the cross of christ this blood clot kinders cannonball cinders: cinder surface alpha particle arteries)
Yahweh erase ben ben body erase Yahu hands drawing hands Yahweh erase ben black box black painting erase Yahweh taryn tessellations (hexagon tessellation with animals: study of regular division of the plane with reptiles (1939). Escher reused the design in his 1943 lithograph reptile) Reuse eschew escher reptiles Reuse escher cashew escher reptiles Yahweh rages reptile and I perform a double flawless victory at the pit with fatality and Yahweh-As-Reptile or Reptile-as-Yahweh ambushes me Herbie Hancock’s Headhunters Full funk jazz distances: full funk jazz flesh funky desert Full flesh funk human hyena hisses and Yahweh spits corrosive acid the cross (the cross experiences acid flashbacks of the cross)
I clown Christ and I game God I game God big butcher body and I butcher Canaanite bodies as Yahweh
I have a great book quote for you, I say to Christina. “… If [people] wish to love God, they [must] be prepared to do so no matter what His intentions. God is not just, God is not kind, God is not merciful, and understanding that is essential to true devotion.” That is a great quote, says C. It’s from a novella by Ted Chiang, I say. It’s a speculative fiction book where God and angels are proved to exist. It’s actually bleak. The main character keeps trying to experience god and go to heaven to reunite with his wife. He finally experiences god and gains love for god but goes to hell in the end. That is depressing, says C. Wait, why? [I explain the plot and mechanics of the world of the novella] It’s never fully explained because a theme of the novella from what I can tell is if God existed, he would be unknowable to us. We never understand his reasoning for this or that. God abandons and sends to hell whoever he likes. And the perhaps that love of God, developing that love, is its own hell and separation in a way. Even in a world where no faith is required, it’s still beyond comprehension, I say. I agree, says C. I agree with the sentiment of unfairness too. He’s only fair in the sense that He made the whole thing so anything He says goes. We don’t truly have a say in what's truly just. Here’s an argument for you, I say. God is all powerful – God wants everyone to be saved. If those two things are true, he has the power to save everyone and will because he deserves it. I have a problem with the second statement, says C. I don’t think God wants everyone to be saved. “Wants” is a problem with the one who made the system but I’m also just a human with a tiny human brain, she says. I think for me, you’d have to think God is not all loving or all good then, I say. I suspect you are willing to sacrifice that. Correct, says C. I can sacrifice all of that. I think “love” and “good” are difficult concepts to talk about in relation to God, she says. I will say I would question the integrity of a God where I love Christina more than he does, I say. That’s where our prophetic roles differ: I have to question and interrogate God like Job. In the end, God will also say I spoke rightly of him… You’re Hosea. I’m Jonah. You’re Jesus in the garden. I’m Jesus saying Eloi Eloi lema sabachthani, I say.
I clown Christ and game God I game god big butcher body and I butcher canaanite bodies as Yah I butcher ben body babel brutalist bar unfinished concrete (SCREAMERS They’ve turned men inside-out! And worse… They’re still alive! Beware: you will actually see a man turned inside-out)
Butcher birth blind bird blood black Butcher birth black blind bind bird blood Butcher bartender blind bird birth brief bird Bird wind-up bird (sorry that I’ve become this monster I love you a lot)
Butcher I clown cross sectioned blood water then blood Blood basking shark central park in the dark Butcher clown cross crow Christ I walk tightrope I walk tightrope cross hang wire I walk taryn tightrope ruddy rudder nude: nude tomb Christ body Christ body in tomb nude neat sneak rope I repeat rope ben body butcher or cross cross
I clown Christ stations of the cross / a comic slant on the standard human face I ride the cross a horse a zebra a donkey an elephant an ostrich overlap crosses overlap faces I substitute myself on the cross in the role of the lion tamer
Word went sideways and spent a long time catching up I catch cross sideways then towards bodies: bent human hyena hiss sternum Sternum paint my body with horizontal black and white stripes a skeleton Horizontal zebra slides sideways son of man skeleton Horizon hunter hack son of man machine skeleton Skeleton sketch butcher god cloud hyena
I Erase My Face Hang Wire Names
Book clowns plaque columns cat curb quick Clown quick Book bat body ben bag of ob Ben shaman bag vast barbaric wild She clowns wild word beach pragmatic
Book clowns and adopts me as fool I fool body withered fig tree I fool body ben fig foolish foolish foul funk polystyle polymer Chain polymer book bicycle padlock / she lights the lights lock picking You the master of lockpicking light the lights
Book clown rope round fool monastery Monastic myth fool math: Book geometries Book geometry god geometries
Book butchers foolish farewell to the flesh Book butchers drag hag hell hands hole harp demon (A terrifying, screaming plunge to the depths of hell! BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE-DEVILS Mara – Queen of the black witches – and her wolf pack of voluptuous virgins invade Satan’s tortured realm of the unknown!)
Book bitter mara butcher Book mara mytheme methyl mer mast: flat malt marsh mara Mara mingle butcher tentacle Tentacle tree trunk car trunk butcher / henry portrait of a serial killer
Book mad mara myth butcher moth molt body magma / I wolfpack word witches Word witches bewitched ben body
The character clown adopts an eccentric character clown stations of the cross Clown stations of the cross a comic slant on the standard human face
My face further a human face My face seventh sabbath a face of flame and fire: a human face My face slant a certain slant of light (a certain slant of light she lights the lights human faces) Face fire physics fire forest
Body face butcher fire: farther fire further face Faster face fire abases (I never exchange the fire or desert; I never exhaust the face)
If an error is made in writing, it may be erased but a line must be drawn around it to show that it is canceled, and the whole page must be put in a genizah and a new began
My face an error My face an error made in writing
Error erosion eros error Error ram raft eye experiment I write error impossible (this written this scripture) Write error location of thresholds / Taryn at the threshold of the book
Oblique book error artifact Artifact act arkestra I do not erase but embed: a chain aleph embeddings embeddings
Error simply equals a lot of explaining
I walk a tightrope, a hang wire, a slack of rope, a piece of rope on the ground
Hang wire midwife: housewife hang wire I hobo wire writing I wire writing wolfpack and witches I walk whiteout hums pops clicks rumbles / rumble in the jungle rabbit wire Tightrope rhizome church Taryn
Hang wire midwife hangman: son of man cross suspensions Slight sounds no transition Slight sounds grounds subterranean Taryn I walk Taryn booby trap stake tabernacle Subterranean tabernacle striptease (she gave men everything they wanted – except her name – STRIPTEASE QUEEN)
I ride a horse a zebra a donkey an elephant an ostrich
Elephant error cedar seed sleigh swing Elephant error entry empty
I write a horse a zebra: Zebra, Vast Active Living Intelligence System stretched between star systems
I write a horse a zebra what zebra assembles alive
A horse a an and alligator A horse and an a animation hell A horse head hide a A horse head erase nonlinear lamb Lamb lime line last legs horses A horse hazard: a horse happening I ride a horse erase
I ride zebra shall threads embedded in large amounts of data Erase chase zebra chaste earth
I attempt to erase the seven names of god but Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay habitats hellion my through the looking glass head (my through the looking glass head skull cup crypt horses) Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay husks hell through arkham asylum ben hell and I dissect insect dozens crawl between my eye sockets I pin beetle wheel wins to Yahweh throne and chariot and Yahweh sees a through million compound eyes compounds
I attempt to erase erratic sea eye see insect galilee Erase erratic sea radial sea seven names nuclear warheads Rhizome sea seven slow drone names of god any Yahweh Haveheh whore the moon is a harsh mistress Moon murk mottle butterfly bottle / ben bottle body holy sons soot spirit spaghettified malchut Malchut mistress meninges horse meat infects ben brain I ride a horse a zebra grosse fugue fat ostrich I ride horse figure with meat brain bore inflammation afterbirth Malchut lilith lights the lights mal I low strew stew infant a baby eater breaking up my pieces and dipping my bones into broth
I substitute myself in the role of lion tamer I figure with meat meat sideways and spent a long time catching up
Meat went meet tent meeting revival Tent walk meet mass Christ candle Tent sideways mass meek shall inherit the earth
What do you live for? I say. Why do you keep going? Curiosity, love, a desire to build and build better, says Asia. That's lovely, I say. How does one construct oneself after the destruction of God? There is a core to you that has always been there, says Asia. It probably brought you to religion and it probably took you out: find it and start there, she says.
I erase Yahweh – no, I place Yahweh under erasure, and the name embers eddys ever name Name explicit empty every name Name annual uneasy every name I eat name knot not erased I name poison oak poison sumac succors every name His name nacre nazca lines her name her then new neon on / brooks and dunn neon moon
Name every name newt now name narrows Name bond book stenosis stone bone stall name: my name her name knock knot bone Name now ben bone new name its auto other: auto other often god now ground ben bone name Name nude annihilation naked name nature Name natural mirror name now naked no god
Like a rose among thorns my beloved among maidens Maiden mixolydian desiring-machine disjunction inscription hymnen her names Her names gnostic hypnotic ambiguities body without organs ominous gods (the body without organs never god excites energies sweep holy spirit ben adam din divine)
My eyes squint squirting flower and I clown god I find god fool doing just about anything with a rubber chicken
Conversations With Asia 07/03/2020 5:28 AM
I was writing some of our conversations in the book today, I say. What conversations? About pacifism and property destruction. I also might write about our prophet talks too. Go for it, says Asia. I’m surprised you still consider me mostly sane and I appreciate that, I say. If I have learned anything over the pass couple of months it’s that our brains are not rational and we shouldn’t expect them to be, says Asia. You’re also aware of yourself so it’s hard for me to think you are insane. In my mind, crazy people are not aware of themselves or the effects of their actions. Like the people who I have met before who call themselves prophets, and my mother. Another thing about your writing. It doesn't matter if it’s prophetic or not. You are writing from the heart, and from your own experiences and understandings – it grows and changes as you do. If just a handful of people read it and feel at home with god and their queerness because of it then that's something special. You helped save a soul… I think it’s a good thing you have doubt because it keeps you self-reflective and it keeps you in check, but there has to be some balance. Let go and trust, yourself and god. If you are reflective, open, and listening, then god and your intuition will guide you even if you make a mistake, says Asia.
I prophesy with or without I prophesy ap pl lp lep ap apophatic Apophatic prophesy ap pr approach: approach apocalypse no god eschaton
Not to erase Bible or not write Bible but write Bible as any other text and any other text as Bible Not to erase name Yahweh or not speak name Yahweh but to write name Yahweh and speak name Yahweh as any other name, as the name Taryn, Asia, Christina, and Krystal, and to write and say the names Taryn, Asia, Christina, and Krystal as Yahweh
I erase Yahweh – no, I place Yahweh under erasure and his name nib numbers numbers surreal every name / god gematria urgrund grammar fuck groundless god gods gut gem gethsemane lid lion mane mer Mer myth gematria Taryn hodegetria Mer myth children of men: men mass mass body geometries
I prophesy god gs gt gut no gods I prophesy shark jaw gematria plural greenland glossolalia Prophesy shark jaw harp half geometry Gematria tiles trial taryn fat tires off-road names Name mer mar man mass gematria no god molecular gastronomy / body astronomy ben body astronomy astrology amino acid asteroid
I received an order to conduct opposing acts. So when I met a Turk on a Greek street, I drew my sword and forced to speak the names of the First and Second [Sabbatai Sevi and Baruchiah Russo] and to make the sign of the Cross, and I did not let him go until, like it or not, he made it. Likewise, when I meet a Greek on a Turkish street, I forced him to say Mahomet Surullah (Mahomet is the true prophet) and also the names of the First and Second
I conduct opposing acts I conduct antagonistic acts I conduct contrary acts
Tourniquet tighten hacksaw rip graves filled
I conduct opposing acts Elliott Carter Concerto For Orchestra and Charles Ives Symphony No. 4
Blood flow brain destroy coffin lid open
I conduct contrary acts The Washington Post June 23 1912 WAS THE MOST GROTESQUE ANIMAL stegosaurus who lived in Utah ages ago is a freak of nature
Problems to resolve: the surface area of a triangle and parallelogram
First flesh second spleen or spirit First my face further My face hangs first fall Face first fist frack fingers grammar fuck Tetragrammaton fuck face gematria I first feast face fang fist feast phantom: phantom Sabbatai Sevi (if Sabbatai Sevi is dead, you best find yourself another god)
My face falls first first let us go to the field Face falls fault first first find field / face first fiend foundling flesh
I erase face fat flow fog transformer: transformer bone conduction contrary acts Contrary acts without contraries no progression Contrary acts no progression without transgressions
I clown contrary acts / I show the wrong in the original way of doing things I clown contrary acts / I show how to do ordinary things the wrong way
First face clowns contrary face melt tissue mixture Face mixes face monster features Disordered geometries or ransack interior interior I walk a tightrope rare hang wire Wire walks face of fire flesh urgrund body gap ben body falls face absurd sea salt / I can’t stand that baby cutting baboon buttface Julia Roberts
I ride a horse roundabout repetition I ride a zebra canal camel cone rhizome
I Eat Names
I misinterpret the Tetragrammaton I misinterpret tetragrammaton drone flesh fugitives I remix tetragrammaton gamma ray burst ben body without organs I misinterpret the misinterpretation: misinterpretation mass mechanicals mix mechanical melt clockworks work chariot I misinterpret chariot curl cross grass tetragrammaton Glamour gloss glamour gram gem granulation Granulation grammar gem she’s a jar sun I run gun taryn tetragrammaton torus serpent leviathan
I misinterpret hell hermeneutics I misinterpret hell hermeneutics hermaphrodite bull shark bite
Misinterpreted machine partitions icepick hell hack eye halves I halve the name as a human eye I halve her name feral hog eye Feral human flesh (Eaten alive! The ultimate terror movie… CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST)
I want my left hand to equal my right hand / one perception must immediately and directly lead to further perceptions
I desire stronger, more interesting verbs
Verb vulcan violence vowel verb Verb vast task turn burn ball tusk Tusk verb Taryn
Dance dance desert body / dance dance revolution Revolution: solid of revolution surface revolution revolver tomorrow never knows Tomorrow never knows gnostic verbs verb strange lanes revolution emanations Dance dance revolution region of three amens add mad seven amens
Dance dance to break off the filter / horizontal lines separate pages
Simply equals a lot of explaining
Explain plain alarm not alone eliminative materialism earth
Explain miniature material tetragrammaton: tetragrammaton grass macrocosm / leaves of grass microcosm
He treats the Menorah as Christ’s body in mass and I mass marry media media methyl crucifixions Minimal mass methyl maximalism Marx mass metal material Marx gospel of mark land mark she lights the lights
Mass flesh mass gash left hand Hand husk left glissando right coset Coset closet eye incest
I mass slower slash mass I mass slower slasher film fog cross smog Smog smears cross slug slinky Slinky stag film fugato
And she went and did according to the saying of Elijah; and she, and he, and her house, did eat many days
I eat names I eat god names she and he I eat names names verb letters Names dance devour Name dance devour hour of the wolf / wolf tone wolf verb Wolf tone wolf verb wolf vowel: roller hours
Numbers eat alt salt malt mass: mass cross sass I eat names crucifixion
I eat the body shoulder blade dance broken beat / I wanted my head to appear smaller and the easiest way to do that was to make my body bigger, because music is very physical and often the body understands it before the head
(Ben, study all forms of dance and body movement body-in-motion and integrate the physicality and kinetics into the writing)
I eat the body cross meat mass / milk or mute automobiles I eat the head the body understands before the head I eat flesh cross tetragrammaton flow flush flesh I open body like a rose among thorns
I open ben body rose among thorns to my beloved among the maidens I open open bodies like a rose and rose grows circular ruins Rose growl generous gods then greedy gods Rose grows ground gosling gods or do geese see god I grow roses round body texts Texts trumpet bodies cannibal trombones head-in-a-basket body horror (The good news is that your date is here… the bad news is... he’s dead NIGHT OF THE CREEPS)
Dance dance dead dead drips deciduous drama Dance drama ben body band-o-rama quartertone ramifications
I grow rose texts taxidermy bodies Taxidermy hyena taxicab hysterics (I am deliberate – sometimes even calculating – seldom employing histrionics except as a test of the reactions of others) I grow slow rose texts cubist book rows cuban missile crisis lockback blockade I grow roses book textiles testicles totentanz tetragrammaton (I eat the rose letters he and her) Rose grows book rhizome rattlesnake tetragrammaton no grammars but girl gather glossolalia No gods no grammars but rose circles circle dance circuir ruins rhizome bodies No gods no grammars rose fuck syntax sound holy spirit Holy spirit sound mound builders wounded book Book fills wounds / now we know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall
I eat syntax wounds open wounds: wound name night night beetles
The pseudo-name YHWH, composed of four letters, encodes a cryptogram which the priests of Ancient Israel read in reverse as huhi, “he she”: secret name of the dual-gendered god
The ben name beds body The ben name embeds bell body black paintings body births hammers
ben bed name ben adam adds ben hinnom ben hinnom he she ground no god gehenna He She ben hinnom hell cross hue she heal ben adam desert deity without deity
Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay vowel name vision Vowel name vav vacuum vas deferens (vas deferens desert vast body ben) Vav vacuum vav vessel duct desert Tear duct desert temptation of Christ in wilderness Anatomy zoology a vessel duct tube Taryn fluids Vav vessel vav vowel a tube in which a body body circulates Vav vessel blood circulates Vav vessels and Taryn tissues circulate blood lymph sap body paint body plant
Vowel vav there were vases and figures of men and animals, and graven platters and bowls, and mosaics of precious gems and many other things
Vowel vav they picked violets and filled all the vases in their room
Vav violence: vav violence killing in the name of Vav violence ben violence to my own visions
I don’t understand how I minimize your feelings, says Asia. I’m not pretending your anxieties don’t exist. I just don’t why I have to give them much weight. They aren’t true to me and I don’t see how it would be helpful to acknowledge them as true, says Asia. Sometimes I feel our friendship is the best it’s ever been and other times I feel I have completely messed up irreparably, I say. I don’t know which is true – I feel both. Define irreparable? says Asia. Our friendship can’t be repaired and what I have done can’t be forgiven. That’s a little extreme, says Asia. Nothing in life is irreparable. Even when something is no longer what it used to be, it’s always in the process of becoming something else. A dead tree might not be a tree again but it will become a log, which becomes an ecosystem, which becomes mulch to feed other trees… My question for you is, even if it doesn't last, was it all worthless or will there be pieces you carry with you, that I carry with me? Will you be changed by the experience even if it’s not for eternity? says Asia. If it doesn’t last, it’s not worth it, I say. Then nothing will ever be worth it to you, she says. That's your problem – you can’t enjoy what you have because you’re too worried about losing it, she says. Because I always lose it, like what’s happening now. What do you mean? I lose all my friendships. When you act like it’s a lost cause, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, says Asia. And not only is that a little bit ironic to say to someone who needs to leave for work but is instead trying to talk you off the ledge. Me and you both know damn well that it isn’t true. What about Christina and Krystal and the others? If you don’t like you, fine – don’t project that to others, says Asia.
ben body letter wounds ben body letter light wounds wounded worship worship woman Texts empire congregation churches denomination Christianities ben body wound letter latter light lap woman worship (you may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese)
Christina criticizes – or perhaps more accurately, observes – that I leave my conversations with Asia untouched; Asia might say I write these fro ma distance and detached and I need to dig and blade my body open painted momento mori still life Both Asia and Christina critique well and although I attempt to connect my conversations with Asia to vav violence and wound ben body, the nets snap and detach I detach myself from myself because as Asia points out, I often dislike myself – not only dislike but often an intense and irrational hatred of my self I do not know where this self-hatred originates nor its exact history, but I work on developing a genealogy and abrupt abiogenesis I continue to record my conversations with Asia (or any conversations, including those with Christina) because I enjoy reflecting on them and I see a transformation occurring My friendships with them nourish me and although the growth feels slow rate old-growth forests, transformation occurs The conversations reinforce certain themes in the Book and provide accessible commentary on the Book They show my creative process transparent The question becomes then: who to integrate and make the conversations cohere, or even if I should attempt consistency with them at all Ultimately, I feel I will embrace a polystylism that translates one glossolalia into the other glossolalia, desert dialogic and desert dialectic I continue to experiment to find these intersections and overlaps
I work on disliking myself less and I choose to trust my friends and learn to give kindness to myself
Asia and I are good – as if anyone expected anything else I will write the rest of the conversation sometime – or maybe not I fail to integrate the conversation in a manner that would satisfy Christina but I still continue the process and experiment
Yod-Hay hook homages Yod-Hay homage humor comic absurd hell: comic may hay absurd
The character clown adopts an eccentric character of some type, such a butcher, a baker, a policeman, a housewife, or a hobo
I clown or character
Clown clown close cowl close rose crow
Clown clock cake clack clang
This is some dumb shit writing but I believe I can change my excrement into gold
Yod-Hay hook homages Yod-Hay homage humor comic absurd hell: comic hell hay absurd Yod Hay heroin Hod Hay halide healer Hay witch hazel haunted horse hairy asshole Hay asshole jackals Yod Hay mayhem Homer’s Odyssey Humid hyper hay Hay horn henna hi hooks hippo hooks honky-tonk tonka truck Hay hex Hay hoe whore of babylon Hay hue hazel hex hues
The character clown adopts an eccentric character of some type, such as a butcher, a baker, a policeman, a housewife, or a hobo
I butcher beggar or candle-maker I butcher exist pursued by a bear
I butcher blood and black lace I baker headless body in a topless bar Butcher baker black paintings egg batch
I butcher writing writing clowns writing and I abandon the writing bodies I abandon writing butcher abandons Butcher writes bore boredom ball boll weevil Butcher bash bag lag light butcher butoh (I want to study butoh – I first heard of butoh from Taylor and she studied it with Diego Pinon and incorporated influences into her own dance and choreography My writing choirs chorea / cusp movement body accelerations)
Butcher body blood and lace lurch leech body horror (You don’t have to go to Texas for a chain saw massacre! PIECES It’s exactly what you think it is!)
(Sometimes interesting writing emerges from failure – Asia’s metaphor of the dead tree becoming a log becoming an ecosystem and becomes a mulch to feed other trees seems also apropos to the creative process)
Butcher between between butcher: butcher book body body bagged pieces Pieces percolate pat plank play pieces
Book clowns me Book clowns me ben body pieces clown of thorns theatrics Book clowns clash characters: Christina characters, Christ characters, character parody and satire Yod-Hay homage and pastiche
Book blows beer butcher bird butcher Book butchers blows beer bird baby bear blue Blue butcher big boss big bird blast blues Book butchers belly blaze zeta function clowns Clown baroness blade bloom break Bloom break clown work Book clowns ben body blat baby bat
I Consider All Names Common / I Consider All Names Divine
I read The Book of Questions by Edmond Jabès and translated by Rosmarie Waldrop:
… We left our frustrated shores behind and embarked on your book… … You have not left the book since… … You could not have… … But sometimes the space between the lines is so large that you seem to tread on new ground… … the margins are so wide… … The book chains us together…
I abandon the Book
I abandon the Book reinscribed the Book
I abandon the Book hussite hittite hyksos Hyksos sun stab heretic marriage of heaven and hell I abandon the Book the bird a nest the spider web worship
Book abandon abandon language sentence 1 / language sentence 2 / language sentence 3 Book abandon abandon language language margins death in america body machines Body machine margin electric chair Body machine blind bone bind I fuck up the machine (this margin walker wants a clear view this margin walker wants a clear shot) Book fork bowl machine red barn abandon and I fuck up the work
Book abandon imagine the banach-tarski paradox but with a bowl of pasta
I begin with which ever group I see first I begin with book book abandon Book Book abandon language sentence 1 / language sentence 2 / language sentence 3 Begin with
Begin with begin with Begin with what: begin with begin with
Book abandon blessing Book random ransom death in america death and disaster Book book hook hat abandon hook word hookworm abandon Book hookworm roundworm wound clockwork body electric chair: I fuck up the book and I fuck up the work
Book public execution pubic bone pelvis punk prophecy
Am I a bad person? I ask Christina. I don’t think so, she says. I think you do the best you can. I feel like my best is not enough, I say. You’re a human, says C. The pinnacle of evolution. Just by existing you’re a miracle. Doing the best you can is icing on the cake. I’m supposed to be a prophet, I say. Then prophesy. Prophesy what? It’s an action you do so do it, she says. There’s no one to check your work. Cop out answer. Yes. But the conversation is going to come down to that. It’s a question of existence and purpose, she says. I smear shit on the walls as an action – prophecy? I say. I’m saying you try your best at it, says C. You know whether you’re doing your best as a prophet. No one can correct you. It’s a double-edged sword. But use the side that allows you the freedom to be the prophet you want to be, she says. What happens if I end up prophesying “Christina is a cunt”? Don’t you need to help correct me? Who am I do to do that? says C. You’re a whole person in yourself. You’re my kindred to do that: you’re a prophet calling out a false prophet to do that. I wouldn’t, says C. Not my place. I make offerings. I’m not in the business of sorting what’s right or not. Whatever that means anyway, she says. Post-truth bullplop. If no one checks us for truth, then we are all screwed. I fuck up the work, I say.
Begin with begin with With action hand axe performance Performance begin god begin Perform begin begin with prophecy Prophesy action performance with begin happening Happen car crash prophecy electric chair prophecy
I begin with which whichever group I see first I cast random glances to fix as other groups
Book groups gruppen propeller constellations Book groups group actions great ape prophecies Book groups group action grapple group garden god gods Garble group book gibberish green hash function Book group glossolalia gruppen glance grass
I begin with whichever group I see first I cast random glances to find other group I group random gods and aleatoric gods I group gods gruppen ground up guts for texas chain saw chili or voodoo chile sausage (centipede horror isn’t particularly gory and sleazy but it is pretty gross… I mean we are talking about giant bugs here… We're talking over six inches long and an inch wide, crawling all over forks… We even have a great scene of live centipede vomiting…) (giant ass bugs: bugs with giant asses live centipede vomiting: centipede vomiting centipedes centipedes assembled russian dolls beyond the valley of the dolls)
I realize my body as repetition: repetition body barley revelation Pierre Boulez says: as long as my ideas have not exhausted every possibility of proliferation they stay in my mind… I too constantly revisit and repeat until I exhaust every idea and every possible explication of a text I realize the repetition rings real my bodies real rhizome
John Coltrane says (and I repeat and rewrite his saying): I start from one point and go as far as possible. But unfortunately I never lose my way… I say unfortunately, because what would interest we greatly is to disclose paths that perhaps I’m not aware of… I repeat texts and languages so I may surprise myself and lose my way Not my way but ways: ways grave women aleatoric aleatoric approximations Aleatoric approximations apocalypses / apocalypse will blossom
I begin with with names: names god gods alvin animal aleatoric I begin with the ways of god her names: her names car crashes riots suicides electric chairs
The names of god that, once written, cannot be erased because of their holiness: the Tetragrammaton, Adonai, El, Elohim (including variations such as: Elohim, the singular Elohei, the plural construct Elolekai, Eloleikem, etc.), Shaddai, Tzevaot; also some Ehyeh (I will be) Rabbi Jose considered “Tzevaot” a common name and Rabbi Israel considered “Elohim” a common name
I consider all names common I consider all names common: common chord common tone common-in-law partner I name common enamel hip hop the play of locomotive wheel and pistons I work name I work name god new name newt name nail: name amphibious Amphibious amplifier fertile flesh physics amphibious ambiguous I work word as I work name: shadow work chariot work I work the name of god and the name of god his body common to my body god body common tone common chord ben body god body marries ben body and he inherits my name He inherits my name ben adam adam kadmon child of humanity The more human the name, the more divine the name
I begin with body repetition I begin with with word body begins book body Book body repeats body omen ouroboros amen Amen I say to you, there is no one who has given up his house or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of god who will not receive an over abundance return this present age and external life in the age to come
Asia Rhizome omen ouroboros amen: amen Asia Rhizome Amen Asia Rhizome antipodes pedal point prayer anarchies Anarchic no transition No transition between a place outside (such as a forest or a park or the beach) and an interior room One action performed across different physical spaces No transition but prophesy action and action prophecy
I prophesy no transition: no names but events Events eruptions acts of apostles Acts tacks knickknacks tracts train tracks Acts anarchic no translation but event-names: her names Her name niche net names nets knocks knots knot number
No transition needed I introduce strong swinging pulse to jazz piano highlighted by cadenzas that sweep across the entire keyboard
No transition needed but transformations: transformations clean automorphisms machine body body god name I improvise transformations entangle transformations I improvise names her events begin with with transformations: transformation protean protein polyalloy polystylism sheds elaborate pyrotechnic dramatic Anarchic transform joyous Mystical rose my ideas flow rapid-fire fashion (bob cuts favored by women geometric print electric blue satin metallics sequins) (I attempt to conceive a style emerging from all styles, to master the mannerisms of all schools and synthesize then personal / I synthesize anarchic mythological Mythological machine electric chair factory she lights the lights logos)
No transition between a place outside and an interior room
He treats the menorah as a symbol of Christ’s body in mass
Mass repetition amasses math Math repetition amassed myth Myth meet match body movie Movie machine myth mix / remix repeat Repeat Isaac Luria’s menorah she lights the lights and the bridegroom moves to her Move mar body movie mermaid mermaid map malt moss movie body Mass body melody Melody machine meat matcha mack the knife body
He treats the menorah as a symbol of Christ’s body in mass He offered a Kabbalah of the ten divine names, their properties, and their announcement of the reign of Christ
Is writing about the writing different from the writing itself? I say. Yes, says Asia. In what way? Because if you are writing about the writing, you aren’t writing the same thing as the writing itself, she says. I suppose I am thinking about the activity of the writing itself, I say. Like that I quote I showed you earlier that Bruce Nauman said: If he did something in the art studio, it because art, including the process of making the art itself. What if I’m just writing one giant book, one that reflects its own process of coming into being? I say.
Omen ouroboros oracle amen Amen I say to you, the amen animated anarchic action: action open tender buttons / I fuck up the repeat syntax It’s an action you can do so do it, says Christina I declare the Book space and Book Body entirely prophetic action: whatever I do in the Book Body prophesies Prophesy populates prophecy impulse Book play studio Studio stadium oracle amen space (space is the place place three amens even other amens seven voices) If I write my shit, vomit, and semen, then that shit, vomit, and semen prophesies If I act write porneia and pulp and horror, then that porneia, pulp, and horror prophesies The Book itself and the act of writing the Book prophesies the space between the lines so large I tread new ground margins so wide Nothing but the sound in which certain partials, components, behave statistically I structure waves writing waves aleatoric tonic prophecy
Alea antinomian opium cocci ouroboros Alea antinomian anarchy anarchy: antipode aporia alea aletheia Alea antinomian a compendium of opportunities for alternative routes, of ossia and ad libitum I play spontaneous and often insect quotes from other songs into my improvisations
I play spontaneous no transition between forest park beach and an interior room I remix room rhythm I repeat room rhythm red rhizomes Room rhythm hot rod red rhizomes hot dog desert Room rhythm body root repetition: my arm appears repeats arm firearm hand fire alarm creative feature: room feature figure fire in gold on a red firetruck moving Moving I move my body spontaneous anxious action axolotl Moves moves my body room amphibious Salamander god names Frog god gethsemane truck flaps flap flesh Taryn
I play spontaneous and often insect quotes from other songs into my improvisations I do not incline towards understatement or expressive use of empty spree but I space species space prophecy I prophesy space space differently I sphinx space spin space through space spring differences Difference string divisi strings swings sphinx impulse: ben body blade pulse source desert
My essence ornaments Essence ornaments omen ouroboros amen: omen amen oracles I speak oracle ornaments I speak baroque body body bowl byzantine Bowl orb arc body dance arc spontaneous I repeat bowl I repeat bowl space speak body and I wheel body repetition
My essence ornaments bold baroque micropolyphony Microphone flesh free micropolyphonic creature feature tenebroso and chiaroscuro (tenebroso oral torah: chiaroscuro stations of the cross) I play too many notes with too many ornaments (Play! Fill it up with sound!)
Play developments development other movements compete in themselves but eventually connected with original formants
Development desert desert body development Development desert evaporation body vapor Vapor vision body other movements other body repetitions Move machine electric chair photographic developer
Neither Kabbalist nor Christian mystic, I subject text to repetition, developments, and transformations
Body mass wire cross wire cutter Desert measure mass wire moss cross body repetition I memorize and repeat body movements intentional and unintentional / planned and spontaneous
The Tetragrammaton contains both feminine and masculine pronouns: wh and yh… This discovery corroborated in 1 Kings 17:15 when the prophet Elijah sits down with the widow of Zarephath and the Hebrew says “she ate, she and he”… The vowels of the pronouns are swapped around: hw’ (he) vocalized as hy’ (she) and vice versa… This was exactly the start of divine gender bending he was after…
Noise name nurse stress noise name Noise name noise nurse stress stress name now name neat Now name nude tetragrammaton I continually trace taste Taryn time tetragrammaton: teach haste Taryn time times halftime tetragrammaton Taryn tetragrammaton theater rapid bodies Body ben bow noise bone nurse
I want my left hand to equal my right hand Hand helix chase spiral hand Hand hand hell write left with right rhizome bridal chamber (have now another plain fact: any man of mechanical talents may from the writings of Paracelsus or Jacob Behman, produce ten thousand volumes of equal value with Swedenborg’s, and from those of Dante or Shakespeare, an infinite number)
I write right-handed hell Hell hinge door hinge top hat tetragrammaton
I want my left hand to equal my right hand my hands expanded Left hand my hands expanded: right hand my hands expanded Left hand equals right hand helix hemisphere spear sphere (my bones shut fire within me my flesh trembles my lips quake my mouth opens my hands expand)
Shrivelight Variations Between Death And Disaster
I shake shrivelight: shiver shrivelight loose dagger or prison shank Shank skull centipede shave / shrivelight shaved ice Shrivelight shapes skull stone shaped canvas: canvas calcinates stained ocean park paint I paint light lime film body luminosities and I strip body light loon snow sacred I paint sacred snow porno bare skin religious (The six-foot supersex siren slithered – ALONG THE LEDGE TO LUST)
Shrivelight lusts cloud sound human bodies
I shake snake shrivelight bronze serpent gospel I rabbit sliver shrivelight black iron prison electric chair or poison Shrivelight shapes shrapnel cigar nail gun ball turret gunner runner god I run from god rather god abandons multiply bodied apartment ocean parks I run and gun sunset riders death rattle side scroller stroller light strata Shrivelight centipedes trackball electrified body body lime lightning Body body lime lightning languages / shrivelight unsheaths catacombs Shrivelight sheets catacombs catatumbas trapeze taryn kaleidoscope ben body telescope light-scatter pornographies (Linda Ware boasts the sensationally shaped stems of a real American beauty)
Shrivelight toons catacombs kaleidoscope catatumbas balloon Taryn Taryn telescopes crisp body columns rolling thunders tendon electric chair Shrivelight tongues electric chair catacombs catacomb cirrostratus clouds Christian clouds cobweb cirrus sirius cirrocumulus
Shrivelight lick moth lantern of lip filler in approximate ascending order of instability or connective activity Shrivelight slight stratiform sheets Christina city spiral cirriforms wisps and patches Stations of the cross sticks stratocumiliform patches, rolls, and ripples Stations of the cross stamens station to station cumiliform ben cumiliform flesh flesh fast facets Taryn Tower of Babel ben cumulonimiform towers often having complex structures
ben body structure structure gonzo god pornography ben body structure camera cigarette fresh flesh arrange phalanx (no matter which way she turned, she was in trouble, and her trouble was always some man’s pleasure GIRL IN THE MIDDLE) Taryn troubles Taryn trouble Taryn troubles Taryn trouble ben body structure Structure body plateau middle: girl in the middle benjamin Body middle camera trouble Body middle camera middle Taryn trouble ben body
In an interview at the time, Andy Warhol explained what made him start the Death and Disaster series:
I guess it was the big plane crash, the front page of a newspaper: 129 die. I was also painting the Marilyns. I realize that everything I was doing must have been death. It was Christmas or Labor Day – a holiday – and every time you turned on the radio, they said something like 4 million are going to die. That started it. But when you see a gruesome picture over and over again, it doesn't really have any effect.
I always thought everything I write eventually referred to God – Christina God, Taryn God, Nursing God, Writing God, Asia God – but God disappears in the act of writing God God abandons in the act of writing God and the ruins that remain reinscribe the writing I write towards Woman and I write towards Death / Death strolls between letters Death strolls between letters girl in the middle Machine middle god then girl: Yahweh then the yard of blonde girls
Death stall stroll letter stop Stop body ben camera middle machine middle Middle middle machine
Shrivelight shave and a haircut two bits Shrivelight shave and a hair cut two bits sewing machine Sewing machine wheel spindle wheel Asia Rhizome (Asia in the light of a bicycle lamp on a desert highway Asia sews in the light of the beach lights at coney island Asia in ghost light flickering Asia Rhizome in a rainbow Asia Rhizome in evanescent light and then vanishing a vanishing hitchhiker) God vanishes shrivelight sight Asia Rhizome residue visions
(I find a conversation with Asia from five months and ago and I think I recorded it before but it feels apropos to repeat again):
How about this, says Asia. The god that left you, the god you feel abandoned by is a zeitgeist, he is made out of dogma. You feel abandoned because he is incapable of love. The god you write to, the god that you make connections with others through is a god that lives in the hearts and minds of other people, that’s the god that is alive and he’s in you too, says Asia. Do you believe in this god? I say. This one that lives in the minds of other people and is alive? Yes, that’s the only god I believe in, she says. That’s the god of compassion and kindness and radical love, the god of creativity and creation. We all have an infinite cosmos within us and that’s where he lives, she says.
God abandoning me bubbles ghosts under my skin gashes open open forever I reinterpret the abandonment of god as a death of god, death son of man death and disaster I read Thomas J. Altizer: the willing death of God is dialectical: a No-Saying to God (the transcendence of Sein) makes possible a Yes-Saying to human existence (Dasein, total existence in the here and now)
Jesus said: If those who lead you say to you: see, the Kingdom is in heaven, then the birds of heaven will go before you; if they say to you, it is in the sea, then the fish will go before you. But the Kingdom is within you and it is outside you.
Jesus said: Where there are three gods, they are gods; where there are are two or one, I am with him.
Catacombs shrivelight low shining Catacombs shrivelight lamp low glow three gods Christ (Mural painting from the Catacomb of Commodilla. Bust of Christ. This is one of the first bearded images of Christ. Earlier Christian art in Rome portrayed Jesus most often as the Good Shepherd, disguised as Orpheus, young, beardless, and in a short tunic. During the 4th century CE Jesus was beginning to be depicted as a man of identifiably Jewish appearance with full beard and long hair, a style not usually worn by Romans. The symbols on either side are Alpha and Omega signifying “I am the Beginning and the End”. Late 4th century CE)
I cross rose catacombs Christ frequent phantom faces Christ’s face tumbles face fumble fumble face forest Christ’s face floats superimposed physics rose cross arranged rosary
I shiver shrivelight forest rains Asia Rhizome rattlesnake Asia Rhizome serpents shrivelight shadowplay / to the center of the city in the night waiting for you
My show in Paris is going to be called Death in America, says Andy Warhol. I’ll show the electric chair pictures and the dogs in Birmingham and the car wrecks and some suicide pictures.
Death step camera desert Death steep camera cliff desert letter stretto Stretto snake fugue flesh flesh first desert Death in America aggressive ben body Death in America arson / colorless gas exhibiting a lilac/violet glow with placed in an electric field
Desert dust dress ben nude body Desert dust dust dress ben body dust Ben dust draw body desert death Ben body tremolo transmigration of timothy archer apartment body Apartment body camera death anarchy Body blush hush desert roadrunner Roadrunner body chamber symphony
Electric chair chisel camera body ben underground Underground electric chair camera campfire Electric chair campfire ghost / ghost riders in the sky roadrunner
I drop the camera: I expose the film I abandon the camera closed face clusters I drop camera but not death I look death pictures electric chair simultaneous car crash I look death pictures car crash simultaneous suicides
Two bodies two deserts two cameras
Cameras curve carve desert desert languages Camera curve length body carve body stone snow electric chair Chair camera cat choir kiss Camera kisses my body campfire: suicide conflagration
My own hands are distractions My own hands distract hands distraction My own hands arm distractions undressed deconstruction Deconstruction deconstruction decision whole hands hold hands Hands hold separated hands: separated severed sackcloth chopped carhop hands Carhop exhaust hands smog slot hot hands
I cut my hands from the camera: pictures peel from my arm stumps Kodak instant photographs grind limbs lymph limp ben body desert cut hands hold hands hole hack smack desert bodies
Asia Rhizome rows lances of light windfull light and godlight (And once below a time I lordly had the trees and leaves trail with daldits and barely down the rivers of the windfall light)
Asia Rhizome roosters zone system lances of light windfall light and godlight (it is necessary to go in darkness, for from darkness it is possible hereafter to see the light and from the place which you see it is possible to go out…) I go dark: I dig dark I god dig dark central park in the dark I god dig did television dial desert / black snow snails slow ben body black snow black box ben body black box tree black cutty sark black sow
Yestertempest creases Yahweh stations of the cross
Asia Rhizome vane vanishing hitchhiker / about the signs and wonders that pierces the liturgical event
Asia Rhizome raconteur trains rains lances of light large marge yestertempest Yestertempest Taryn talkbox box body eye egg yolk Yestertempest Taryn day before yesterday I saw a rabbit, and yesterday a deer, and today you
Death In America
ben body wrestles ben body ben body wrestles ben body black box ben body black box basking shark book Book bats ben body blunt force trauma (“Book” as a substitution for “God” and it too exploits and expends my body Book exposes Book earth bone / word woman earthworks Earthworks word Book extension) (I do not bulwark Book ben between body but I blade Book blood anarchic)
I read reality and interpret its texts I read ben bodies as my body interprets interspersed texts taryn textile aperiodic tiles My body texts tensile strength stakes stretched texts Texts migrate bodies taryn monarch marble malleable
ben antinomian bodies read old scriptures new pornographies (Is he? Or isn’t he? THE GAY DECEIVERS) ben antinomian bodies bore antipode texts and I taste old scripture contradictions / clash bodies occult obscenity nude magma body ash ben antinomian bodies spew ash semen scripture bukkake bibles cunt codexes I boil Bible in my own blood / blood broils Bible beetles Beetles batch batch blood sausages black body cakes My brains boll weevil body puzzles pink eye pizzicato Brains bosch cat pizzicato plaza pizzazz Ben brains blonde bomb shell cell shading hawaiian pizza
I interrupt insect intersections: insects insert an antinomian gnosis Insects irradiate ink an antinomian aporia I interrupt aporia taylor series approximations / insects chain polynomials name gnosis near numbers Insects wing an antinomian knock knock joke (I have so much work to do, antinomian or not I move earth word earthworks, antinomian anarchic)
I interpret insects ermine error body horror (The film is full of gore, bloody boobs, and the undead. The gore looks great and practical effects are top-notch. The kills are nothing new but they throw just enough gore and sex appeal into it that the viewer can’t look away) I interpret my body bat insects ben adam undead and I slide inside insects/ insects illuminated manuscripts Ben bodies insect gore god antinomian undead
I din desert a refreshed antinomianism I dusk desert a refreshed anarchy Anarchy not as against but with With Book body body body with word wheel sword point metaphysics With wick with words with languages Words languages anarchies aleph all languages Words wings languages she lights the lights
I make myths or religious nihilisms I make myths religions without religions and my works wyrd not those who live in the world of rational arguments and discussions but works wyrd oracles realms unreal real mythological entities entire earthworks My myths undermine holy spirit hegemony and myths mine machine undergrounds underworlds religions Religion disappears darker deserts (my nihilisms for anomie and anarchy)
I write religious anarchy Everything interpenetration of revelation misreads and always misreads I misread every text as apocalypse and revelation, and I also misread revelation I also misread my revelations I misread revelations bodies rupture rhizomes maps apocalypses
Break the bottles but keep wine I break my body weave wine word I break ben body bodies both wine word words whirlwind languages Word whirlwind language whirlpool languages I accelerate an antinomian writing (misreading) and an anarchic writing (misreading)
ben bodies model gospel of mark machines I imagine my body masamune absorbs energy from the mammon machine I maximize machine ben body and I speak the word of God with boldness I speak bold body without god gospels machine gore graph body horror Body ben bulls brash horror and bold gospel pornographies (enter her side a bull and be vigorous as a tiger son of man bull pop art and the tiger tears body hole tablets)
Machine body magazine material religions erotic Christianities Multiple body machine mills nude body horror heat mathematics Heat myth mathematics obscene machines ben body kneads machines mead Andy Warhol Factory
In 1963 Warhol began preparing for a large scale exhibition at the Sonnabend Gallery in Paris. Anxious to avoid a charge of mass consumerism at his first major exhibit abroad, he chose a theme he initially called Death In America. These paintings, of subjects such as car crashes, suicides, food poisoning, the electric chair, gangster funerals, and the atom bomb, were to became known as the Death and Disaster paintings…
I admire Andy Warhol as I admire my own future death My death tastes delicious red delicious machines sea of reeds I admire Andy Warhol towards my own death an imaginary suicide (Do you think I’m going to die? Do you want me to die? It feels like everyone wants me to die, I say. It’s not reasonable that anyone wants you to die, says Christina. Do you think most people wish others would die? Like in general? I don’t want you to die though I understand how hard living is, says Christina)
I admire Andy Warhol our bodies death and disaster I factory Christina flesh: I machine stations of the cross body horror crucifixions
Maximal machine body post-minimalism Molecule man machine men’s magazines post-minimal pornographies I position my body erotic exhibitions airplane propeller pornographies (shameful orgies replaced studies on this – LUST CAMPUS) ben body camps camp machine marsupial minimalism and I do not minimize my own death but repeat death desert desert america I machine myself makeshift american Machine map mincecore body corium american / american COR-TEN steel three steles of seth
Machine baby death desert copper coyote
ben body bible large-scale exhibition ben exposed body Cold body ben sexploitation film car pornographic batman Exhibition selective serotonin reuptake inhibition
Death in America appears aluminum scapegoats spraypaint human bodies
Car crash ash aluminum alluvium Car crash tin sin trash traces ben body antinomian Clay car silt sand crash trash gravel god underground Dave Gibbon illustrations
I illustrate death / I illuminate explicit bodies Bodies cloud bodies chord nudity and pornography clusters Christ cello bow body Christs Cloud light death draws body stones magnets mellow earth bodies
Vision and Mysticism 