Racket roundabout repetition Racket repeats restless rive river Rive river repeats collection of mothwings and flower petals Riverrun past eve and adam’s repeats riverrun mothlight repetition Mothlight mothwing repetition whitewater rafts rafters of our house cedar trees its paneling cypress
I repeat riverrun body the Book repeat body riverrun embodies the Book and I evoke the Book and provoke the questions
Riverrun rhizome repetition ribs Book rents raw body riverrun Book rakes I should her repeats arrested my dusk in us solar anus annulus Solar anus polynomial rings
I describe the Book as a kind of girl show I promote KRYSXTRYN as an exotic miracle worker or exotic witch and her words rounds raw raven repetition rabbit word She dances dark body bodies in irregular almost repeating figures Ana aporia postminimalism and aperiodic postminimalism (I never felt my music is sparse or minimal, says Morton Feldman. The way fat people never really think they’re fat. I certainly don’t consider myself a minimalist at all, he says)
I do not make minimal but I relentlessly repeat I relentlessly repeat and I do not repent or relent Repetition realizes: I realize the repeated word real in my body my tongue My tongue throws rows repetitions / radical geometries Spaces space flat geometries
Repeated bodies repeated materials latex she lights the lights Bodies repetition her bodies minimal not-minimal mineral repeated materials (THE GIRL IN THE PUNCH BOWL she was that kind of girl… it was that kind of party… the combination was murder)
I do not resist but raptor the repetitions Repetitions rahab reservoir religion without religion
Mountain Woman Water Woman Talking God I talk God not a graph but a map I talk god maps mountains waters cure bodies wrap westward Wrap wasp rest word bodies talk gods talking blues battle bodies / human bodies repeated maces mauls flails flying flesh Flesh flies sky repetitions: Kingdom of the Skies electric empire I talk gods like layering latex paintings she lights the lights She lights the lights looser latex Loose latex letter leather talks blues the bar really red with chinese paper cut-outs and wood paneling (the beams of our house cedar)
Really red repeats red repetition Red real retrograde repetition repeated rottweiler / repetition radiopaque solid bodies
Bodies bright red rest red repetition of the Book / I evoke the Book and I provoke the questions
My body cuts bodies out other outer darkness My body poles paper pale man isle eye ever see the devil dance in the pale moonlight Ben body cut cask clasp case paper corner clock body Clock body cloud no corners cave mouth carcinogens
I like to think of art as a process or activity rather than a goal or end result: I do not always live up to this art-as-activity conception and I obsess over end results but I try to be continually engaged in ACTIVITY ANARCHIC PROCESS DO Writing rather than written but you are the one who writes and the one who is written
Talking blues really red rod red bone wood cut outs Wood panel aporia: wood panel from points to group talking gods Talking tusks tents earths: erotic earth of girls Erotic earth girls sacrificial dance of girls I risk curtain covers earth curtain rises / before the curtain rises an orchestral introduction resembles a swarm of spring ducks Christina soft duck spring straw blues Talking blues bitches brew repeated cauldron bodies Bodies repeat potboilers or lamb lobster Lobster lamb land line landmine mimes duck mimics
KRYSXTRYN slides girl show sharper chandelier cabaret card candelabra coliseum / cardiovascular UFO crackles cardiovascular chariot wheels wind waker aspirations Wind wake animal aviation: wind waker water walker
The girl show and erotic dance details snow hare ritual Snow hare hoes helixes why can’t I be snowing why won’t you fucking love me Snow hare ritual holes haloes winter light Snow hare reduces my body revives hell I revive hell ritual unclosed conquered certainty unclosed penetrated certainty unclosed god’s silence a negative imprint
So basically try to enjoy the time spent making it rather than thinking too much about how it’ll look at the end? says Doc. Try to look at the artistic process as a laboratory, a place to experiment and explore, rather than trying to arrive at something definite, I say.
Girl show snow hare ritual brings bright red red repetition / bodies blood blood bald burst red ritual Ritual body real revelation unreal ritual Body ritual body reveal revelation veils my body burden rabbits Girl show strips augurs of spring: a nude woman enters and begins to foretell the future My future does not fear flesh but flows flesh naked alpha flight / squirrel girl pornography Squirrel girl cartography / graphomania metafictions flashpan physics Physics folded between flesh Ford Model T erotics Ford Model T model six erotica / tiki hut snow hare lounge hipsters Tiki hut endangered species habitat Far far to be gone flesh parachutes Flesh parachute parmenides / dolphin dance
Modulation more short mercury Modulation more door meteor Modulation black materia bottomless pit Pit python perlon play
I play language network inventing new networks of telephoning
Language network nights gnosis gospel structures: I nocturne languages and I night languages I language night glossolalia gospel Gospel glows gut noise gut roses (like a rose among thorns, so is my beloved among the maidens) (as a lily among thistles, so is my beloved among girls)
To get comfortable with your emotions you have to let yourself be messy with them, says Asia. I don't know about you but I had this desire to control my emotions and let my expression of emotion be controlled. It's not comfortable and it's not going to feel good, not at first, she says.
Book suppresses time ashes
Taryn ash smashes slip sloth snow in water Snow in water snow hare ritual Taryn ash swashes smash shield serpent: serpent slurps book ash I swim ash night chants I swim ash her-imaginations her-visions Swim repetition ash repetition Swim recursive repetition red snow hare cut outs alphabet rabbits I swim towards the relation of printed pages
This was a series of posts after the one I sent you on Sunday, I say. Trying to deal with my emotions on our friendship, and the harm I did. Here’s part of it:
Past Benjamin makes cringe / Present Benjamin makes cringe (The word CRINGE someday will evoke CRINGE and embarrassment) I make embarrassing shit now and I will make embarrassing shit in the future: I will always make embarrassing shit but still MAKE Make even if it’s cements bullshit bedrock – making heals and making reveals holy
I’m not sure if you can comprehend it right now but I hope you can see an embarrassing struggle trying to express my frustration and doubt openly. Worry I’m a creative failure – worry I’m a bad friend – worry I’m a bad person, say.
I've noticed when you talk about your feelings, you only just state how you feel or what you are afraid of, says Asia. You need to have some more description and metaphor. What is it like? What does it feel like in your body? What does it look like? You write yours detached. Dig you hands in it. Scoop your heart out with your hands, put it on the table in a nice polished wooden bowl and do a still life. I also want to encourage you by saying that this is really hard to do, it's hard because we are in it and we are made uncomfortable by it, she says
Girl show shed snow hare ritual (Many young girls have entered the gates… None have yet come out! The story of a strange hobby and its victims whose only crime was to be meek and beautiful! HOUSE OF WHIP LORD)
Girl show shed shred snow hare ritual I repeat ritual antigenealogy Repeat ritaul short-term memory antimemory rhythm Rhythm free improvisation minimal engine Minimal engine maximal engine girl show calculus pornographer geometries
Girl show shimmers snow hare ritual (now that summer is over you’d better start thinking about SEX IN THE SNOW) I sin snow I sing snow the potency in snow I sling snow sin sawdust draw saw repeated snow I swim snow show slow snow repetition Repeat snow in water: congealing and hardening water Awake to water I awake snow I awake snow simple curves clay surfaces I awake sound now snow from now on, and awake or asleep, remember that you have seen the human son Sometimes human son dream then snow and snow rose body red rainbows Rainbows asia rain repents rain Rain softly as the morning sunrise Rain her hymn hush snow Snow hush rush snow in water
Girl show snow hare ritual: erotic dance earth drum les demoiselles de avignon I write ritual always a middle which grows and overspills I write overspills human bodies human son sound flux I let the sound inform ritual: silence informs ritual and overspills chalice serpents Overspills serpent snow serpent show ben bodies cup cross carries silt aluminum alluvium Erotic dance mesopotamia deluge myth maps maths antimemory / improvisation without memory
Girl show serpent swallow snow hare ritual Erotic dance deposits deluge myth mass gas pornographies (pleasing to men and so anxious to please PLEASURE GIRL behind the scenes with the sinning singers of the record business)
Sing sin thin snow thin gin Sound sin partial sums pan gold pornography Sin simmers nude nude now bowl ben body ben bowl body talks blues god blood body bowl ben repeats alchemy metallic bodies Metallic body textures Textures body Taryn real ritual Ritual unreal rhizome revelations veiled variegated developing variations Ben body blood bowl reveals Rabbit apocalypse I repeat apocalypse riverrun revelation
Taryn strips augurs of spring and she enters as an old woman and foretells the future My future fear not flesh but veer body an apophatic body bodies pornographic fleshes Flesh flees flesh then flesh fins fur sin: my flesh seeds sap slut I swallow sap clam clay surfaces Flesh flees further flesh and my flesh deepens naked graphic violence numerology Numerology maps melt graphomania metafictions fictions fanfare flesh further Flesh furthers ben futures further flesh and my flesh films poem pyramids My flesh fat finger fits porn pinprick porcupine phallus Flesh furthers folds whale word walk Ford Model T erotica Ford Motel T mode six exotica / tiki hut horse helios Helical noise noise horses faint sighing friction sound paper on paper
Sill doorway Horse entrance building entrance
Entrance in trance Ford Model T model six exotica / tiki hut helios happenings Tiki hut habitat aquarium cow udder asphalt
The word doll – DOLL – another desert The word DOLL detours distance no discrepancy but endless arrow desert Endless desert amour more desert room
Would you like to help me with some exercises then? I say. I can try, says Asia. What's an emotion I can write about? Fear, anxiety, she says. OK, I fear being a bad friend to you, I say. Do you think that’s a good place to start? Is that specific enough to dig into? Yes, lots of people relate to that, she says. You just have to dig into it. The why, the what it makes you do, what has happened before that feeds into those fears. Your own self worth. All that and turn it into prose and metaphor, says Asia. OK let me describe some reasons why I fear it, I say. I am sometimes emotionally unstable and unpredictable and I worry that will cause me to do things I regret. I fear I will say mean things to you or upset you and you might decide I'm not worth being friends. Unpredictable and unstable are great concepts to start with, says Asia. My question is, how do I turn that into metaphor? My main concern is that I hide my emotions through metaphor and I need to do the opposite, like strip it unadorned, I say. What if you took these words “unpredictable” and “unstable” and write down associations with just those words and see what you come up with? says Asia. … Unstable undulation underground godless hoodlum haunting Body horror open body unstable scissors cut my body halves Something like that for unstable? YES, says Asia. OH OH I just had an idea. I was thinking of the line you just wrote “cut my body halves” and shifting shifting hurt to others? Like going inward to outward? Yes, she says. Do you suggest plainly stating my emotions and digging into after? I say. Like side by side. Yes, because sometimes the associations have to be discovered, says Asia. Play around with the words related to your feelings and see what happens, she says.
Girl show serpent swallow snow hare ritual I repeat hands in snow body in halves
Common Chord Modulation Experiments
Sunbeams, birds, voices, nerves enter into changeable and genealogically complex relationships with god and forms of God derived from the godhead by division
This kind of grease / hot fudge peanuts Hot fudge peanuts pornographic groove or orange grove (typical rhythmic entrance for György Ligeti’s Lontano, 1967) (Metric modulation from Elliot Carter’s Double Concerto, 1961) This kind of grease / greasy grimey gopher guts
Modulation the process of varying one of more properties of periodic waveform, called the carrier signal, with a separate signal called a modulator signal that combines information to be transmitted
Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple
I carry the cross: I do not follow I carry cross salmon or cod Across I carry cross strange body swordfish syntax (the stretching out of hands, manifestation of the cross Stretching out of the cross inlaid on the right side and on the left The spouting of the cross incomprehensible man
Incompatible cross cross quiet Incompatible cross clay close clay Close clay crawfish cataclysm Incompatible cross crosshair sniper serpent Serpent seed sleaze slime ben body pornos (the book which obliges us to confront the idea of pornography as a serious listening genre)
Cross clips grasshopper pornographic / long legged leviathan
Cross claps unclosure asleep desert choir
Queer cross chips sips supper bodies bodies last supper: last supper summer serpentine
Cross serpent silence
I tell you the truth, none will be saved unless they believe in my cross, for the kingdom of god belongs to those who have believed in my cross
I carry the cross: I do not follow I follow her flesh fields have ears Follow flesh her fields crow cross blue blue: bodies boat blue stews bodies Stew cross compass
My bodies bell cold cross Cross calve cold golgotha shivers / Mr. Shiver in the river you were sold you were told
Cross uncloses snow columns organic machinery
Try to move your imagination towards the sound it’s a matter of following the sound
Breath open birth ben bodies: ben bounds bow sounds
I write explosive logorrhea desert TNT desert C4 (wilderness logos logorrhea logarithm wilderness woman Wild wolverine woman wordiness repetitiveness incoherent desert Desert cross called called cup choir Called choir start select cells saddle point puff pastry pornography Choir skirmishes cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over your head look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she’s gone She's gone stream of unchecked nonsense often under pressure and the lack of self-correction
Is this some of the work that we work as we did before… All right… From when mine I’m here. What's wrong with because I… was myself until I… was myself until the talent took something about the time between me and my regular time in that time and they took the time in that time here and that’s where the time took around here and saw me around in it’s started with me no time and I began work of nothing else that’s the way the doctor found me that way…
Cross cups skull florescent light placed intelligently within an intellectual environment
A cross fixed and about the cross a great multiverse, not having one form and in cross one form and one likeness
I like long works I like works in grand duration and scale, although not necessarily forces I like long works because long works inspire me: I too make long works I craft the long work and I make the long work and I bricoleur long work I desire to make a long work that interests A long work that maybe that doesn’t justify its length but always tries to explores experiment, and allow space for failure (I desire interest but to leave room for the not-interesting) I continue to travel the length of the Book (endless Book as old as fire and water) I let the logorrhea look for logos: not the cross or the Christ but women walking stations of the cross
Mine mothlight midnights unmetered Mine mothlight moonlight midnights meer unmetered Desiring-Machine collapse film familial nudie-cuties whole new film techniques naked Whole new film technique tackles trackers box botox robot rivers
Mine mothlight modulations Moth carry the passion of the cross litter bar lights cave mouth nocturnes Mine moth thoth taryn music for mallet instruments voices and organ
Moths carry cross martyrs irregular transmigration of souls
(Modulation is the essential part of the art. Without it, there is little music, for a piece delivers true beauty not from the large number of fixed modes which it embraced but rather from the subtle fabric of its modulations)
Flesh fabric modulates flesh bird absurd cheb comb logorrhea (They were out for kicks! DELINQUENTS WITH COMBS A shocking expose of youth gone wild! You used my comb! I thought I could trust you!)
Flesh fabric modulates flash wham bam thank you ma’am Flesh fabric modulates BIG FUCK monster truck
I do not modulate but juxtapose I juxtapose big body orgasm eye omelette light emitting diodes Diode desert drop digoxin carbon dioxide
I do not modulate but masturbate
Cave mouth masturbates mountain woman Cave mouth masturbates mountain woman water woman talking god
Mountain woman Water woman talking god Mountain of the cannibal god
I climb down this mountain and abandon it: I search for another mountain
I mouth mountain mazurka
Collected moth wings I flower petals I bladed of grass pressed between two strips of 16mm splicing tape
I collect moths moons menagerie massacres Collect moths mouth absurd mountain language Mountain masses subterranean menses Menses menger sponge sponge spike subterranean blood (a brilliant novel about a way torn between wife, mistress, and an exotic courtesan SOME PREFER NETTLES) Mountain molts mosquito nets red nettles and it would have been mine, if it hadn’t been for those meddling kids!
Mountain meddles my brain mud metal
Mountain multiple ordinal activities performed simultaneously
Here’s a funny story for you, says Asia. Yesterday, when they asked me to cover a class for the last twenty minutes, I brought a bag of Jolly Ranchers and I told them if they just stayed in their seats for fifteen minutes, I would give them candy. I also told them if I found any candy on the floor, if I ever covered for them again, I would make sure never to bring them any candy again. Well, one of them was acting like he was about to throw a candy wrapper at someone, so I told him to throw it away before he was tempted to sin. One kid that is also is one in one of my ELA classes thought that was very funny so now it’s a running joke and he references it in ELA class. My co-teacher was very confused, says Asia.
Multiple individual activities performed at once
Multiple mountains erupt erotic volcanic viscous vulcanized rubber bodies My bed body presses blades of grass between two strips of 16mm splicing tape ben bodies spalt mountain menses (eh gave his blood to the woman he loves… THE BLOOD DRINKERS ‘Blood Drinkers’ begins where Dracula, Frankenstein, and Wolfman left off)
Ben hinnom body hammer hammer horror
Ben bodies cut thin and transparent permit the passage of light Bodies all passages concentrated lights contact-printed assemblages Assemblages agitate contact-printed laboratories Moth papier mache cobweb swamp cranium
Individual actions interrupted by alarms that signal group action
Signal group action called carrier signal with a separate signal With a separate signal signal isosceles time scalene Scalene signal moth wing scales Mouth wing scales slice signal mountain of the cannibal god Moth wing mimics mouth jolly roger jolly rancher rotted bodies / sinful bodies Sin simultaneous bodies ea multiple leviathan Leviathan lobo literature
(Common chord modulation / diatonic pivot-chord modulation Most modulations made smoother by using one or more chords common to both keys)
Mirror modulation modulations meadows: meadows moloch I must moloch nurse burnings I must moloch not smooth but nuanced noise noise map Nonlinear november rain airplanes Airplanes mirror mountain mattress Mattress monarch butterfly minimalisms maximal mattress mountain mirrors (A BED FOR DYING The cops were looking for a murderer… The mafia and searching for $1,000,000… and they were both hunting for Pete Fisher… who only wanted to escape from his beautiful sex-starved ex-wife and a host of other willing but dangerous females!)
My bed modulates mirrors mud christmas carols ben bed body bath boulder modulates carrier signal this is NOT a dream and we are controlling transmission
I’m not trying to conquer the world every time I play solo, says Ned Rothenberg. I’m just trying to make a few good transitions, create a program with variety… I’m always trying to generate form, compositionally, even if there is no preplanning, even if I’m just improvising…
Modulation transition transformation Modulation mechanical bull mountain of the cannibal god Mountain of the cannibal god blade of grass minotaur Blade of grass leaves of grass little light leviathan Leviathan modulates light transitions transformations Transforming machine modulation unmetered mortar
(Common chord modulation / diatonic pivot-chord modulation Most modulations made smoother smothers Mr. Smithers by using chords common to both keystones / keystone to skull keystone through skull)
My skull stinks ugly and I smash my skull against book ugly baffle beef buffalo I bore myself or I fuck up my skull syntax Skull syntax snap smack sin jolly rancher rhizome I write rhizome ugly antigenealogy short-term memory I write book bastard ugly I talk ugly tack bread body rigid (I wrestle writing recurring themes and motifs Drinking game: take a shot every time I wrestle writing ugly body battlefield fleshes)
I’ve done a lot of reading and thinking about the dichotomy of education, says Asia. We believe that it is always a tool for good and growth but it has historically been used for evil. It’s interesting how it can be used both for personal growth of others and for control and spirituality in the same way, she says. As a teacher, how do you use that knowledge to approach how you impact education? I say. I try to craft an approach that empowers the student to learn and discover themselves instead of me telling them how it should be. I read this article in one of my classes that changed the way I looked at education. It was about how slaves viewed literacy and education versus the education they received under the Freedman’s Bureau. Close to 10% of slaves knew how to read and write even though the punishment for getting caught was anything from having a hand cut off to being lynched. The article quoted a pamphlet written by a former slave saying that they could “write themselves into existence” – they would be seen as thinking feeling men instead of beasts. But when emancipation came around and the state took over education for the freedmen, the focus started to shift towards manners and less about empowering themselves. I was struck by the sheer anarchist power of knowing how to read and write, and the oppression of controlling others with curriculum. Similar (and arguably worse) schools were created for Native Americans, Hawaiians, and Aborigines. All of them focused on making obedient works out of them, says Asia.
I confess as a sort of anarchist My anarchism adds at creative anarchy / amplitude modulation magikarp splash I confess a creative anarchism spiral circumfessions (Book of Circumcision Book of Elijah Dreaming Desiring Passion) I dream gradual drift anarchism / I dream writing I dream Taryn and we study nursing together again but I become lost in the cafeteria
I write write smite circumfession spirals Write write suite swift sift circumfessions: flesh anarchy Flesh aware anarchy flesh anarchic aware Aware beware mountain of the cannibal god Write rhizome anarchic / copy many maps all map all when anarchy Anarchic write dimensions desert directions in motion ben body middle bodies overspills shit holy spirits
An anarchic enharmonic modulation (Modulation from D major to Db major in Schubert’s Op. 9, no. 14, D. 365, mm. 17-24, using the German Sixth, in the new key, that is enharmonic to the dominant seventh in the old key)
Taryn tittle tritone substitution Taryn untilted untilted tritone substitution Tritone substitution Taryn Tetragrammaton
I wonder if you see the longer Asia passages as part of an atonement for emotional hurt you caused, says Christina. You leave it in large chunks without regards to aesthetics because you’re showing a perspective you haven’t been entitled to interpret yet. Perhaps your feelings about your writing being unpretty is part of that? What I see in your writing future is, with all the great care and work you’ve put into being a better friend, you will be more and more entitled and empowered to insert your own voice. And maybe when that happens you’ll feel a better place about the writing since it will come from a place with less restriction and with a more robust foundation, says Christina.
I feel I write the longer Asia passages alright and I don’t think I write them dissimilarity from long Christina passages Rather, I feel I write in large disconnected homophonic blocks and I feel conflicted: I desire to embrace a discontinuity that doesn't rely on transitions and obvious connections / modulations / transformations but rather write something like what Christian Wolff said in an interview (paraphrased): to not worry about getting from Point A to Point B but letting Point A And Point b stand on their own as an event without hurry… where the entire composition sounds melody and not transition and modulation
I hold the transformation of a motif in higher regard than the expression of the long melody
In the past six months I have been exploring the music of Galina Ustvolskaya and her music strikes me with dramatic and liturgical clarity (the use of repeated homophonic blocks of sound, unusual combinations of instruments, use of extreme dynamics, the employment of groups of instruments to introduce tone clusters, sparse harmonic textures, and the use of piano or percussion to beat out unchanging rhythms)
I hammer scripture strange sculpture anarchic I stone hammer hammerstone scripture strange lang long sound modular melody Melody frog magick melody insect magick
Hammer stone snow slow tone turtle tenor taryn turret
Hammer homer hevel homing missile let us go to the field fuck snow sodomy hammer harmony
I want to write more music all the time untimed tenor saxophone stations of the cross rubato rhizome
Irregular repetition or repetition that interrupts and ruptures unreal real repetition seizes radical anarchic Rabbit repetition no residue but restless repetition repetition / I copy repeat I repeat copy copy sim cut stim pack nitroglycerin Nitroglycerin genesis
Repetition reshape rye genesis rib repeats Repetition rum hoist that rag raging bull or rhizome Repetition ripens repeat raw rays / my body rays solar anus Anus race rood repeats
Striptease Without Transition
I dance desert I dance dawn desert draw Draw dawn down ball gown gore
I dance desert horror the house of the low sound (Ichorous Pictures presents… If you are thinking of going into this house… If you are thinking of opening this door… If you think you are checking out this basements… DON’T If you are thinking of seeing this film alone… DON’T)
Desert DON’T horror but I dance house I dance triangle house house of long sound Sound desert DON’T but body: human body don’t dose house
I dance desert I belly dance desert behemoth: I belly dance desert baphomet Ben bodies belly gehenna: ben hinnom house hosts ben bodies slit belly burst earth / desert dance bahamut Dance desert bahamut NEO bahamut bahamut ZERO: tera flare Taryn apocalypse
I peek at apocalypse unveils nude bodies Peek apocalypse kiss porn bodies occult obscene (the veiling then revealing of my undressing) Apocalypse reveals ben nude body visions and I unveil my eyes uneasy erotic (Ben Body reveals divine human body unveiled revelation of the divine I AM Body and I AM material I AM earth animal erotic tower of babel theopoetic bodies)
Apocalypse bodies beetle amber and an add tape with plastic bag attached to cloth with plate on skin
Apocalyptic bodies bebop place tectonic plate pluto nonlinear / unnumbered neural networks Neural plural pleura nonlinear networks Network no numbers but numbers NEW NAPALM
ben body mixed body splash head
ben body tints beetle spill head
Timed body desert time nude babel
I prophesy time trace to through time impact an extended instant
Time tent tower of babel deterritoralization reterritoralization my naked zebra body Naked zebra body blinks wolverine revelation / approximate apocalypse porneia Anarchic apocalypse porneia
Pliable bodies psalm porneia / stretches of Joseph Beuy’s writings combined with images traced from vintage gay pornography onto random pieces of paper Pliable ben body prints play psalm porneia and horror / in the same way that pornographic movies reduce human interactions to the workings of genitals, Twitch of the death Nerve reduces cinematic thrills to little more than knives slicing through flesh
Ben body babel bethel beetles deterritoralized apocatastasis heaven and earth hypostasis
House leaves hypostasis hyperstasis kenotic hypomania
Homage, Taryn, in the house made of dawn Homage, Taryn, in the house made of evening twilight Homage Taryn in the house made of dark cloud Homage, Taryn, in the house made of ruin and mist, of pollen and grasshopper (The grasshopper lies heavy r-p-o-p-h-e-s-s-a-g-r looks up Look rearrangements grasshopper GRASSHOPPER grasshopper gathering into leap I reject my leap to faith: I reject my previous infinite resignation turned to knight of faith for a different kind of impossible passion)
(I obsess transitions: how do I transition from one section of the Book to another section of the Book Study different kinds of musical modulations and steal and adapt to the Book Study different kinds of modulation and their contexts: an each modulation and an each context Texts contexts texts) (I stop obsessing transitions: I desire a more flexible and open Book Porous sections and paragraphs)
I didn’t see that love in the church, says Asia. The church is complicated, I say. I don’t know – I’m second guessing a lot of things myself. What sort of things are you second guessing? She says. My writing, my prophecy, my encounters with the Divine. What if I get on lithium and my mystical experiences disappear, I say. Your prophecy comes from your heart, not from a chemical imbalance in your head, says Asia.
My mystical experiences disappear – not from any connection to a chemical imbalance to my brain, and I currently remain unmediated unmedicated – but what the grasshopper Philip K. Dick described as the Spirit of Elijah leaving Nevertheless, I continue to prophesy I prophesy open: open often oil and oil overflows I prophesy open: open optics open orbits excess olive oil I prophesy until I die
I prophesy time spore speed time flesh an extended instant Time different shapes in the same, all-pervading light / I write simultaneous same shapes in changing lights and different shapes in the same all-pervading light
I prophesy add tape serpent skin all-pervading light Add add tape puff adder eyeball orgiastic black market organs / bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia
Add tape skin scars palimpsest compressed in cold hell in thicket I work miracles from manuscripts: I manuscript narwhal bone oracle bone scriptures Tortoiseshell scriptures strut or wing polytopes
I pray pornographic polytopes / train taryn heterotopias
My body KHORA strips more real and divine than any scripture or any name My KHORA body nude strips void more vision than any imaginable god ben body khora bellies desert dance nameless city of the accursed more holy and whole than Yahweh
(My body holes phallic My body whole whore her whore of babylon)
ben body burden of the valley of vision ben body dumah desert oracle and pornographic proclamation Play porno gospel of philip
The Lord said to the disciples, […] from every house. Bring into the house of the Father. But do not take anything in the house of the Father. Nor carry it off…
Her house Her house hall her hair
I keep thinking that we live in a progressive world, says Asia, and then I get a rude awakening with little things, like people or students or parents being thrown off by my haircut, she says. Your haircut is awesome though, I say. Because you look like Asia with your short hair. They are like “why is her hair so short?”. I guess teachers tend to be very traditional careers so that anything out of the norm is off-putting. People assume I’m gay. Last year a parent asked their kid about why my hair was so short, a student this year asked the social studies teacher why my hair was so short, and when I wore my “everyone welcome hoodie” one of the students asked if I was gay. He didn’t mean anything by it, eh was just curious but I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying anything other than “I'm married to a man”, says Asia.
Her house Her house hide hair Her house houses serpents Her hair haunted / my hands hold holes My ahnds hole house host heat
Lacunae lights house Lights from evening house
(Mati Hari: the most celebrated segment of her stage act was the progressive shedding of her clothing until she wore just jeweled bra and some ornaments over her arms and head)
I strip bare to film I strip film bare unbordered black paintings I strip bare bastard and bosom blossoms breasts hang cannons
(I listen to an interview with Michael Pisaro-Liu conducted by Irene Kurka and published on October 2, 2018, and he says something that strikes me: “I have no sense that I need to be stylistically consistent – I think that’s actually an artificial construction. We can do it in retrospect with people who are dead… The artist doesn’t have to concern themselves with that” To let myself – to allow myself – to be stylistically inconsistent or let myself be contaminated by what I previously considered verboten or contra-ben to let myself write Philip Glass Part 12 of Music In Twelve Parts: I had broken the rules of of modernism and so I thought it was time to break some of my own rules, says Philip Glass. And this I did, with the shifts in harmony in Part XI and then in Part XII, where for the first and only time in my mature music, I actually threw in a twelve-tone row. This was the end of minimalism for me. I had worked for eight or nine years, inventing a system, and now I’d written through it and come out the other side, he says.)
I strip bare to film I strip film bare unbordered black paintings I strip bare bastard my bosom blossom my breasts hand cannons I strip film bride stripped by her bachelors bare even (Parisian shows such as Moulin Rouge and Folies Bergère featured scantily clad women dancing and tableaux vivants… An act in the 1890s featured a woman who slowly removed her clothes in a vain search for a flea crawling on her body… The People’s Almanac credits the act as the origin of the modern striptease)
Striptease towers to towers fly-by-wire striptease Striptease towers than towers tlön uqbar orbis tertius Striptease towers tertius towers stacked Taryn tetriminos (the conjunction of mirror and encyclopedia) (Mirror doubles the depths of the counting side corridor / house hollow houses hand haze)
I film film stringent string theory body (striptease as a mystifying spectacle and reassuring ritual where evil is advertised the better to impede and exorcise it)
I film my body striptease collage I film my body striptease tannin catastrophe tannin cannon catastrophe taryn Taryn pornographic palindromes uninhabited houses House haunt film strip sprockets people walking slowly back and forth across the object-filled stage at individually calculated paces through mass objects
(ben bodies mass of objects ben bodies massive glow assassin)
I strip mothlight mourners I strip mothlight softly as the morning sunrise I strip silent film collage real world elements inside earth instant earth Inside invisible vertical earth and sometimes I write rewrite an ordinarily essential difference between making a piece and hearing one)
I strip film fog without a camera Strip hedgehog in the fog / my blood floods naked (striptease dancer at the end of her performance she is fully nude except for her high heeled black shoes)
I’m trying to slowly swap some of my cosmetics for zero waste swaps and I’m low on toothpaste and shampoo, says Asia. I got a bulk bag of toothpaste tablets and two shampoo bars. That's cool, I say. I admire your commitment to your values. Technically the shampoo bar is a lot cheaper than normal shampoo, especially if you get nice shampoo because it’s easy to spend 30 dollars or more on a bottle of shampoo, she says. I use this big bottle of Head and Shoulders, I say. Pfft, that’s the most man thing you have ever said, she says. Is Head and Shoulders bad? No, not particularly, says Asia. It works well for some people. Better than Suave or whatever. Just tell me that you use conditioner. No, I say. But you have curly hair: it needs nourishment. My bottle says 2 in 1. Green apple and goji berry shampoo and conditioner. I don’t believe in two in one, says Asia. At least get a leave-in conditioner or a hair mask. Of course you don’t, I say. That's why you don’t believe in the Christian Trinity either – slippery slope, I say.
Modulation varies one or more properties of a periodic waveform
Bodies feel felt forms waves word ben body fleets forms flat waves / desiring-machine modulations Machine modulates maps map word wave warp word Machine word ben body flat fleet bare feet (heels of greater or lesser light distract from the foot’s low and flat character)
My mouth modulates mirrors My mouth metals mazes head flint bare shoulders My mouth models intermedia: film mirrors camera mirror music retrogresses My mouth retrogrades glossolalia galaga inversions
Mouth move mud Mouths modulate earthworks and chariotwork wings people walk slowly back and forth across the object-filled stage
Mouths modulate beach light leech light she lights the lights mouth torches
The difference between this notebook and that notebook – no difference, except the direction in which one copies
I copy a whole new film technique: moth wings, flower petals, and blades of grass pressed between two strips of 16mm splicing tape
My moth medicines maple syrup mix moth wings My mouth marshes messy muted moth wings but wings hinge light swing My arms walk swing insects
My mouth modulates moth wings vary up and down swing thing Moth wings swivel it don’t mean a thing unless it’s got that swing
Splice tape strip cinema naked: direct cinema direct bodies
I speak my naked body spliced blood spills stereo sodium Nude ben body slices human steak vampire stake silk stockings My body directs undressed desert body diluted soap surge saucer bodies My body slows nude space deserts
Splice film space khora Splice blood spurt from pulsing artery Splice slice blood spit split space archery / aimless arrow archons
My flesh nude without camera My flesh produced naked without the use of a camera ben body tetra a whole new film technique ben body blocked-out black black-out shades
I do not shield my body from shade and shadow and I doubt drift borderless black Cut to black or fade to black
I prophesy wrestle long logos logorrhea Logorrhea wing woman repetition incoherent vision I witness incoherent choir cellophane body without camera Called sawed cells stripped cellophane flowers of yellow and green towering over Taryn’s head I look for the girl with the sun in her eyes and she’s gone She’s gone orthogonal often stream of unchecked nonsense often under pressure and the lack of self-correction
I correct camera striptease direct bodies and naked bodies: ben body absolute mothwings
I Strip Scripture From My Skin
My hands swim naked My hands swim swing unmeasured Hands measure unmeasured underneath Measure hands distance distraction desert directional derivative Hands swim metric Hands swim metric motor oil mitochondria Motor hammerhead hand habitat Air habitat double ascent aquamarine Aquarium aquamarine air Hands air unmeasure luminiferous aether
My hands swim aether naked Nude aether when under ether Hands uneven ethereal then earth hands Hands earth unearth erotic Erotic eyeball bodies bomb mitochondira miniature maps ben bodies dub glass menagerie desiring-machines
Girl show glass menagerie: girl show glass menagerie engorged earth flesh emergent flesh emesis engorged gargoyles I fence flesh she saws saber girl show glass cannon and glass jaw / phossy jaw fish belly gelatin Gelatin joshua tree jouissance / gelatin joshua fit the battle of jericho fish flesh Joshua fit the battle of jericho gelatin battle axe
Girl show gelatin orgasms gelatin leviathan orgasms hag fish gopher fish ornery orgasms Posture girls and fat-bottomed girls orgasm irritable ozone (Beauties! The prey of a monster’s desire! WEREWOLF IN A GIRLS’ DORMITORY the ghoul in school a new high in horror) Werewolf in a girl show strips gelatin tooth tuned bone / bone bog orgasms Scrumptious round rump / beef chuck cannibals Cannibal chuck wagon Chuck E. Cheese
Homage, Taryn, in the house made of dawn Homage, Taryn in the house made of evening twilight Homage, Taryn, in the house made of dark cloud
House hurries house House hurries horses horses horses House hush homage hex hurry House hurry hush homage hex body body hula house hush side show Body side show hula girl show spirit house spirit house dream house Spirit house speech speech scroll Spirit house dreams ben body dream house / homage hostage
House hurries House hurries space harrier / flight stick holy spirit
House hens helixes house hang House hen hen helix house horror (all teachings here remain ruins: a remnant, the head of the house, secret room) House bird hip hank house secret of the room head house (house of the skull streaks chalk secret)
House hafts bone house secret set of toys in the triangle house House hafts halves: half helix triangle ghosts ghost house House hints ghosts ben body gulf Horse hints ghost ben body buried at sea ben body house buries house: house sea skeleton string House ben body trance: house ghost trance music Trance music music house ben body ghosts (ghost girl show girl show underneath spirits)
House hurries long sound House long sound log row logos hurries Long sound horse long ship split sound: split sound body open silence
I hurry house husk of my body Hurry house husk ben body body house of the one house of shala house of long sound
I boxer ben bodies bandit / body bandit desert dance Desert dance of the bee or dance of the wasp Body desert dance wasp word / the provocative Egyptian dance the Dance of the Bees, part of the repertoire of the dancing girls at the Ghawatzee
I drink desert as web body desert dressed wounds Desert drinks ben body bowl: bowl blood birth earth seven bowls of the wrath of God I dance wrath rift open rhizome wounds erotic and I portray myself as having a stinging insect fly into my clothes and I attempt to free the insect by removing articles of my clothing one by one
I strip scripture from my skin a gory sideshow Strip scripture a foul and painful sore and my bowl body seas like the blood of a corpse Strip sip hollow bone blown black into darkness and I gnaw my tongues agonies My mouths open nude scripture trickster trinities and entangled triangles My mouths open stripper polytonality and polytempo and three foul spirits like frogs emerge, and they prophesy ben mouth of the dragon ben mouth of the beast ben mouth of the false prophet My mouths pulse dance of the bees and my speech daemons demonic spirits and my spoken syllables assemble snake signs and serpent signs My syllables manifest as action painting and color fields and I strip my canvas body bare woman wasp dances
I strip girl show sideshow scripture my name awl nude and I model ben body mathematics I model ben body techniques of numerical solutions for partial differential equations I strip bodies mix myths and maths desert massacre and I assemble the kings in the place performed armageddon Bodies mix stripped myths maths maps bone machine mercury (like that these women performing these dances did not occur in an indigenous context, but rather in response to the demand for this type of entertainment) (Cleo was young and fresh from the farm… Julie made the beds – and used them … Ruby knew what a motel could offer… MOTEL GIRLS The strange story of 3 girls caught up in the steamier side of the Motel Business)
House hems human motels House hits hemlock mote human skin / stripped bath bodies Bath body bring bright bite body Body bite bare house burn hatch house House hems human mote motifs
I Let Stones Sound As Stones
I cut crash start over Cut crash start over start over Start over cut – start over cut Start over cut slate crop circle circular ruins: ruin language ruin syntax Syntax hack fast fuck Fast fuck infarction infect syntax Syntax sex cause I’m the taxman Syntax space space strange Space strong cut weak cut Cut start over
I feel unhappy, I say to Christina. I don’t like myself. I don’t like what I create. What are your problems with what you create? she says. I feel I write bad stuff. It’s ugly. Why ugly? Like what specifically what’s your definition of ugly? Maybe starting there will help you figure out where to go? It sounds ugly and it doesn't flow and it feels like a difficult birth that's not fun. It feels derivative and uninspired. Are there any parts you do like? Also I don’t know of any “fun” births… To make something like life you have to sacrifice a fuckload of pain and suffering. I don’t know, I say. When I fuck the syntax and disregard continuity, I feel I’m onto something, I say.
Makes sounds with stones draw sounds out of stones a number of sizes and kinds and colors
Make stones Make stones stacks Stacks sounds stones make sounds Make sounds stones Stones (every babysitter's nightmare becomes real… WHEN A STRANGER CALLS) Stranger stones plant stem brain stem Strange stone girl show slow Girl show slow comic absurd Absurd hay bale bodies body embargo I stake stones girl show additional stones
I never watch television or film I lack attention span for anything but stones I swallow stone television and television telescopes body background Back ground body gods analog television I let stones story pictures: picture taryn towers
I call stones: I call stones spoon towers
Call stones stranger when when girl show absurd Absurd abscess woman absurd abscess I call stones spoon towers Towers meteor shower girl show absurd absolute / absolute vodka vision Absolute stone erotic Early eros embossed bodies (TRAMP NURSE she healed their bodies with her hot white passion)
I nurse passion I nurse passion you have spent your whole life inviting calling promising
I nurse passion begin by the impossible
The god leaves begins every thing / everything towers all when
When window When window when window When window
You have spent your whole life inviting calling promising when window
I call stone when I call stone when window woman occurs window Occurs shore stone Stone a study in choreography for camera ben body stirs windows Window peeping tom girl show
Girl show stripper pole dipole moment / stripper pole hydrogen bonds Stripper pole hydrogen bonds stripper lipid bilayer (biological bilayers usually consist of amphiphisic phosolipids that have a hydrophilic phosphate head and a hydrophobic tail consisting of two fatty acid chains) Stripper pole orthogonal Orthogonal porno vertical vertical vision speculum that doesn’t shine Shine naked organs shine naked tissues shine naked cells shine naked organelles
Make sounds with stones draw sounds out of stones for the most part discretely sometimes in rapid sequences
I let stones sound as stones
Stones tophat tophet Tophet tophat dem bones Stones dem bones gonna walk around now hear the word of the lord Tophat tophet o mourner let’s go down let’s go down to the valley to pray
I speak stone down to the valley to pray: I pray stone and I nurse stone I still carve the ironwood stick (stone stick stick stone) I kill the elephant shall arrow I crack stone sound cracked elephant tusk Christina’s crab catches one finger
Only the dancer’s silhouette appears and their images repeatedly multiplied
Her images repeatedly multiplied ironwood stick Elephant tusk stone fiddler crab claw
The whole idea of wildly flashing stills and phrases wear quickly I film evocative parataxis
I feel stuck using the Bible, I say. I was thinking though instead of abandoning it, I really fuck it up. I put it through the shredder. I am a fan of shredding the bible, says Asia. I am not going for nonsense, I say. I am going for a mystical language or a language beyond language that touches anarchic brain and fucks up our hierarchies and preconceived notions of what structure is. A fucked up language where we find the kingdom within ourselves, I say. Go for it, says Asia, I approve.
I struggle against the writing and the writing wearies me, but I do not believe in creative sabbaticals: like John Coltrane, I keep playing, practicing, and working through the languages I workshed word and I keep fucking the grammar until some abomination rips through my body I study Le Marteau sans maitre by Pierre Boulez, and despite being ostensibly serial and having its score available, it took almost twenty years to figure out a thorough analysis of the damn thing – I imagine I write a kind of La Marteau sans maitre where the language makes serial sense to me but no one else knows what the hell is going on More of a Finnegans Wake idiolect than a star chart or I Ching rigid construction Nevertheless, I continue the work I work language and trust process I never unpause process
Homage, Taryn, Quick One, Heroine whose eyes flash like lightning Heroine blue heron Heroine hash harness: harness handshake hard hat Heroine blue heron hammer Hammer heron hacked up for a barbecue Hacked hack the herald angels sing harp arpeggios heart attack Homage holes in my head head hammer Hammerhead shark salt shakers Homage Yahweh of Hosts pastiche Pastiche pistachio pinwheel chariot work
(To get over the idea: if I’m not writing in the “main” notebook, then I’m not really writing I desire more flexibility and more flux My flesh flexible flux between streams of notebooks and languages, my own pastiche of Elliott Carter tempo and structure stratifications No compartments or boxes except the absolutely necessary – and maybe not even then Book open the writings charm swim spaces spaces I write again and again this is where time becomes space I give myself over to the writing transparent ugly fuck bodies Writing open development and open constellations: explore ideal that fail and go nowhere and underdeveloped and underutilized languages State themes within space without development Melody merely melody and melody more than melody)
Homage Yahweh of Hosts hawk hill Homage Yahweh of Hosts I eat the heart from the altar I bird altar burn stuffed with excavated human hearts
Homage havoc Homage halloween havoc hot hot heat white light / white heat
Homage Taryn, homage to Charlie Parker Blue heron lightning flash lightning bug measles beetles
Beetles bell my body prophecy Beetles burst Albert Ayler’s Bells and beetle ensembles improvise body prophecy (Bells not yet formed into a cohesive, balanced whole but a rickety patchwork, its seams and therefore processes showing proudly through)
Prophesy prophet polar coordinates Prophesy prophet punkte kontrapunkte a movement from point to groups A movement from time points to time groups (a change in technique requires a change in technologies) (a change in techniques requires a change in vocabularies / grammars / languages)
I don’t think I will ever stop writing even if I wanted to I will never stop writing because I will never stop prophesying I stop prophesying when I’m dead
I think technique and I try technique I recall my experiments with rhythm (I always exploit rhythm but I make immediate rhythm I rhythm Steve Reich Clapping Music and John Coltrane sheets of sound – language pulses, language phrases, language glisses) I gliss don’t sweat the technique and I desire a spontaneous and relaxed flow like Rakim but I stuttered and stagger letters I stumble and fall through the writing anyway I learn techniques by failing at them
And an add tape with plastic bag attached to cloth with plate on skin
Unmeasured motor hammerhead mitochondria Mitochondria miniature maps glass menagerie desiring-machines
Towards the insignificant: towards the stone Towards the stone sometimes in rapid sequences A cuckoo fades away and in its direction a single island Towards the insignificant a cuckoo fades away and its direction a single blast a single stone
Girl show stone glass menagerie Girl show stone glass cannon and glass jaw / phossy jaw My jaw orgasms radioactive pus My jaw juts crucified Jesus jouissance jump blues orgasms
I feel I have become too dependent on certain tropes and sources in my writing – my reuse of the Bible for example. And I always hear your voice, your criticism on who to make the work cohesive and continuous and using refrains and using our conversations as an anchor… I think you have found those techniques mostly successful – I’m feeling I need to go really far out and you might not like it and I want you to still be OK reading it and giving feedback even if you don’t like the direction. I’m still going to be cool reading it, says Asia. I’ll let you know if I can’t follow it, she says.
Towards the insignificant Towards stone strike for the most part stone striking stones but also stones on other surfaces Stone surface open open skulls Open skull secret swim Swim skull stone sword surfaces
Multiple individual activities performed simultaneously
No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak; otherwise, the patch pulls away from it, the new from old, and a worse tear is made. Similarly, no one puts new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wine will burst the skins, but one puts new wine into fresh wineskins
Stretch our your hand He stretched it out and his hand healed
Stretch stone Stretch stone surfaces hand hits slap stone Slap stone stop stretch my words distract My hands strike stone new Christianities I invent Christianity nonlinear noise / anarchic atmospheres and waters
Book Insists Nude Desert
Conversations with Asia 07/01/2020 7:50 AM
It’s been a long time since I felt God, says Asia. The most recent time was when I went to the Quaker meeting. Everyone was sitting in silence and I just became aware of the fact that every single one of the people around me wanted a better world and had goodwill towards each other. Felt very warm, she says. That sounds wonderful, I say. I don't know if it is necessary to feel God. You feel humanity, which is more than enough, I say. It is a little disheartening to go to church and not feel anything, she says.
god greases pornographic god grease gray bodies grass pornographic I graph my body glutton fat god lard liturgy Long god time field fat gunmen / god gut experiments god long left but I prophesy left she lights the lights lights word without god collage composite Composite cross porneia plastic Plastic sphere packs spectre god and sometimes I quake silence I shake silence silver apocalypse an apparition time time rivers time time rivers time rhizome I annotate the rhizome texts without god texts tuned taryn Taryn talls tern sound quake silence glow revelation
Silence slow revelation aware not church but Christina
I feel church christian bodies text belly
Posture girls psalm-pray striptease Taryn girls striptease serpents: serpent tenor saxophone fiery flesh Her flesh fires stripper seraphs (the embrace of woman unto the shares of the hunter) (her wild hunt strip ben book naked word large languages)
Stripper seraphs Yahweh his sore and great and strong sword punishes Leviathan teases slant serpent and leviathan flirts torturous serpent: taryn slays tanninim in sea
Tannin tug striptease and Book suppresses time ashes Taryn tows striptease towards the relation of eight printed pages I print pin-ups (a high school ben prints a photo of Britney Spears in a cheerleader outfit and keeps it in the front pocket of his binder) I print pin-ups play porneia I push pop pink light
The dancers, to please their lovers the more, dropped their clothes and danced totally naked the nicest revues and bullets; one of the princes directed the delightful music, and the lovers were allowed to watch performances
I watch woman I watch woman and woman language / voyeur vision language I watch woman god gaze voyeur developing variations Watch woman who watches peeping tom tannin fake snuff film flesh Flesh strips disfigures folded flatter matter mining I watch woman clockwork serpents I snake counterclockwise woman clockwise women wear dresses desert nude Desert dons nude now nude serpents Nude serpents waters water eyeless god web wabe wade (the supervixen girl Shari Sybank is CHESTY ANDERSON US NAVY)
Writing idea, I say to Asia. Alternating lowercase and all caps to display to ideas at once… FIRST IDEA second idea says something FIRST IDEA REPEATED second or third idea says something FIRST IDEA VARIATION second of fourth idea. I was looking at a movie poster that did this. I would be interested to see how it works, says Asia. (This film is filled with SHOCK victim after victim dies horribly in throat cutting orgy AFTER SHOCK once again will change sexes and kill kill kill)
I copy first then second first as second and I abandon I abandon copy copy and I repeat copy I repeat copy god without god gut gum air language (the climax is only the beginning BEYOND EROTICA) Erotic exotic copy each line its own completion I copy abandon book presses time ashes Ashes suplex stark sex step stresses
I’ve always abandoned ideas and concepts as easily as I introduce them I repeat abandoned ideas to test if I want to try again I rescue through repetition and I recycle rhizome / don’t go for the root but the follow the canal
I never abandon but rediscover and bricoleur / towards the relation of eight printed pages Pages play porneia play repeated passages unpaused porneia (if you can get an NC-17 rating without using any sex or violence, you’ll be called a genius) I view violence vow how hornets and I invent the western face I invent the eastern face faucet fringe flows flow gods Flows flow gods grown gowns now desert: desert naked flow flown feather experiments
Flow unfocused rhythms Rhythms difficult meters desert desiring-machines / an actor getting shot by a machine gun Machine gun god catastrophe and collapse so many disjunctions surrounded by spirals Spirals sunbeam thousands of tiny spermatozoids / Taryn ten thousand things Taryn ten thousand things threads threads tetragrammaton arrangements
I discard the notion of CHRONOLOGICAL continuity in the Book altogether: Book doesn’t exist in chronology or even genealogy, but a pierced kairos aporia Pierced cross aporia prophetic time and Book tints time ash timer ashes Book knots arborescences in rhizomes and rhizomatic offshoots in roots Book arcs ant antennae anarchic deformations desert aerial roots (air her medium hangs up and out) I temper twisted steel prophetic time: time turned or tuned welded word folded into word wyrd
A girl show sometimes offered in which women were the primary attraction Book bathes blue girl show Book flyer or pamphlet bathes blue its girl show variety assorted other spectacles (hotter than the summer sun THE BEACH BUNNIES) Girl show speeds god book butter bodies bloody bodies and I strip bride by her bachelors bare even Even an eye on girls this girlish god Taryn (everything in the world exists in order to end up as a book) Girl show holy spirit book the orphic explanation of earth
An experimental or post-conceptual pornography An electroacoustic improvisation pornography or hard-edged painting pornography
(What is needed is never just a string of interesting passages but works whose central interest is constituted by the way everything that happens in them happens as and when it does in relation to everything else)
Not a chronological time but time ter untiered tenses time Tenses time intensities new simplicity
Crevasse time chronos crevice cracked chrono trigger troubled time untroubled time (at all times make conscious effort not to coordinate with other players) (regularities of motif and pulse played against irregularities)
Time point time plot prayers time cut into time: times cut into times relations contradictions / incompatible improvisations Times tunnels times times contaminated strikes skull cap cut open terror time Time prophet tarot taryn tempest Times topologies topographies geode geos gods
Tegimented time wer time awer away woman Woman inwarth time woman vertebra Vertebra wind time weird Woman time wind umbra under woman Woman under woman werthan time word wort Woman wild west open west wing language Woman wine language long girl show wet west
I throw away time and I throw away the Book I discard Book as desert an incessant dress Book insists nude desert
The Book radio flyer flaps wheels girl show versus adverse divert desert
Girl show shimmys jump rope shutters spectacle sawdust Spectacle silos split species counterpoint spectacle spurn blood spurt My spectacle eye participates nude with fully-clothed women Nude recluse close sue sew (shame on those who have seen the human son: blessing be upon you who have not seen him or associated with him)
Specular eye inserts scissors assorted other spectacle girl show holy ghost Girl show holy ghost: girl show holy ghost
Spirits girl show sprites skew hue shells demons Show skews spectre stink star naked and I nod nude dance dance blood
I abandon girl show and other assorted spectacles homespun species counterpoint
I write badly book babel bursa body burlap overlap lost media lap dance
I abandon Book then I copy the book in its entirety I abandon Book then I rewrite the Book in its entirety I only know copying and rewriting I copy Nag Hammadi Codex I rewrite Bible and I only know Bible Whoever finds the interpretation of these sayings will not experience death I never experience death but crash diets
Girl show holy ghost spectacle and stripper I write the girl Taryn train track semitruck simultaneous I rewrite water Rewrite water girl show water Waters show holy spirit growth spurt spread blood blood flood rewrite round Bible Rewrite round bible body belly rewrite Rewrite bible erotic stripper striptease scripture Scripture stretches stomach wire stripper woman scripture Stripper scripture scrapes palimpsest porneia Stripper scripture scrapes palimpsest cigarette cartoon polyphony Cigarette cartoon cartoon polyphonic pornography Polyester prophecy and pornography plays polyphony forest sorcerer flesh Asia rain forests sorcerer Polyamorous prophecy piers armored car secret autobot Porn armors alien acid exoskeleton / xenomorph erotic fiction H.R. Giger gun phallus gun you’re fly is open fucking
Girl show holy ghost grotesques Holy ghost carnival grotesque / mardi gras gatling gun desiring-machines
Thus says Yahweh: Stand at the crossroads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way lies, and find rest from your souls. But they said, we not walk in it
I find no rest I find restless whether I walk this ancient path or that ancient path and unrest rahabs underground underground god restless / foxes have dens and the birds have nests but the son of Man has nowhere to lay his head
I feel myself failure writing and I masturbate languages I feel strongest rewriting and copying the Latter Prophets and the Gospels of Nag Hammadi Library but those scriptures crutch and collapse my body Scripture spans my roots but I follow the canal (I’m sitting in my bedroom having sing alongs to songs you’ve never heard or that you probably never cared about, I can’t figure out what’s worse)
Book Grows Between Among Other Things
Cave becomes Book long deep duration: duration long den Taryn Time her wider wider widening word cave moth mothra
ben bodies widen extend narrow
ben bodies widen extend narrow gnostic exoskeletons Skeletons star stone, narrowing then widening gnosticism and cave as cross swallows bodies crucifixions I copulate crucifixions and cave mouth swallow, saint semen / mustard seed-desiring-machines My cave bodies bicycle all sorts of clocks, turbines, dynamos (dynamite desert dynamo gnostic nitroglycerin), celestial machines (acute triangle angels / Salvador Dali’s paranoid interpretations of the Angelus), horse-machines (hiked-up skirt hauntologies)
ben bodies decay birthdays
Soon, my birthday A few hours and birthday and my bodies decay
I don’t want to be turning older, I say. I feel like I have wasted my life. I feel I haven’t done anything worth living. Why do you feel that way? says Asia. Because I’m a loser. I don’t understand why you asked me that. I already said I have wasted my life and haven’t done anything worthwhile. I’m turning 39 and I wasted my life. Do you want to dig up everything that’s wrong with me? I can do that if you want. No, why would I want that? says Asia. I really don’t think that you haven’t done anything worthwhile with your life. Plus how do you measure someone’s worth like that? she says. Here’s how I measure my worth, I say. I never achieved any of my creative goals or personal goals. I was never able to publish or change the world through my prophecy, I failed out of school twice and never got into the profession I wanted to. I don’t have a partner or any of my own family… Do you think I’m a failure? No, I don’t, says Asia. I wanted to be an entomologist or an artist and that didn’t happen, am I a failure? It took me two years after I graduated, during a teacher shortage to get a job as an actual teacher and I still have to go a district over and they asked me to resign after the first year – does that make me a failure? Stop looking for justifications to beat yourself up and don’t expect me to join in when you do. I understand you feel unhappy and weird about your birthday. That's OK. It’s normal to feel that way. But I don’t like seeing you sit around and beat yourself up to justify that feeling. It's like you make up your mind about it and then you go looking for evidence to prove it. And let me tell you, it’s easy to find justification for it, it’s easy for everyone but it makes you fucking miserable. I’ve been there, I get it. And I remember feeling weird about my last birthday too, says Asia.
I decide to create a new birthday ritual for myself During the first semester of the nursing program, Christina got me a gift for my birthday: the three CD set of Julius Eastman’s music titled “Unjust Malaise” When I first listened to Gay Guerrilla, the moment when the pianos interpolate and reinterpret a Mighty Fortress Is Our God astounded me with its beauty I feel thankful that since then more of Eastman’s music has been uncovered and performed, including the masterwork Femenine, which includes a more brief interpolation of Be Though My Vision but no less beautiful and astonishing I decide my birthday will become a time for the organic and unfolding music of Julius Eastman and for bow a ben blessing body reinterpreting hymns and Christianities
You get frustrated with me when I ask for reassurance, I say. I asked you why you felt that way and you gave me a weird response like “do you want me to list everything wrong with me?” Like no, I just wanted to know why you are feeling that way. And then you asked if I thought if you were a loser. Reassurance is one thing and I don’t mind doing it but first let’s address the fact that you are bludgeoning yourself in the face and causing further discomfort yourself. I also want you to notice how you hold yourself to a different standard than you should other people. You told me that I wasn’t a failure for the examples I gave about myself even though they are very similar to the ones you gave about yourself. Life isn’t linear and the paths we take are unclear but please know that there is no such thing as right or wrong paths, she says.
Ben bodies wider wild Bodies widen extend wild exit experiments / environment and noise Ben bodies widen an inverted instrument: one entity organic agglomerated Bodies bulldoze intricate feedback relays
Ben cave body widens extends narrows bone marrow precarious narrows narrow hollow earth harrowing of hell (long hell deep hell hollow log bodies sleepy hollow) Hell widens and expands impossible bodies narrow books
Ben bodies open break bubonic plague blisters wide body cave mouths and wide glacier crevasses
That's true but I also think you have a more successful life in some ways though, I say. In what ways? You have a partner and a daughter – that’s a big difference. And I understand what you’re saying but that’s not how I feel. I try to ask for reassurance on things but I always get the feeling you get annoyed by it and you don’t like answering similar questions. So I feel discouraged from asking at all. I don’t know how to go about asking you for help, I say. I told you that I didn’t think you were a loser, says Asia. And I’m not annoyed, I just don't like seeing you punish yourself. What was I supposed to say instead? What I mean is, in the past, I have asked you for reassurance in regard to certain topics like creativity and our friendship and you don’t like answering them, I say. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come across as annoyed… Do you think that having a family makes you successful? says Asia. You have connections, you have people who you affect in a positive way on a daily basis, I say. You also have connections with people and you affect people in a positive way, says Asia. I feel somehow the depth though in your connections with your family is different. What I mean is it seems to me you have a depth of connection that’s deeper than I do with Christina for example. How do you measure that? says Asia. It’s just feelings, like gut feeling, I guess. I feel like a failure as a mom all the time, says Asia. Almost every day. It’s not something that happens naturally; it takes work, she says…. I just don’t think you can measure how deep a connection is compared to another, she says. Do you feel like you have to put a lot of work into our friendship as well? Like, you feel you fail me as a friend or something? Yeah I do sometimes, she says. And it is something I work at. Sometimes I feel we have a deep friendship and sometimes I feel completely fail you as a friend, I say. That's normal, says Asia.
Book widens, extends, narrows: narrow wold horror blood experiments (a blood-splattered study in the macabre it will leave you aghast! COLOR ME BLOOD RED drenched in crimson color)
Book widens, extends, narrows nexus modulus nonce languages Book widens nonce long language low languages nonet Book experiment horia irrigation channels child of humanity Child of humanity the noun states accent in air nonce languages (a thought I only use one unit, over and over)
I bring with me the book: Book with name when her and her brackish ben mines Book mixed heavy metal mixtures Her Book methane mi maths erly in the moringe the nexte daye after the saboth day diu dye day book widens Day book extends Taryn tomb now new New narrows nudie-cuties stag stations of the cross / cross nyala suspiria ben bodies nacre neon lights porous prometeo
Book prometheus Book atropos
The materials chosen as one chooses swells while walking on the beach
Book materials now materials neon meat underground I graph ground gob god subterranean Subterranean swell stall swash short hell labyrinth structure hospitable to noises
ben bodies widen extend rabbit rotation symmetries asymmetries (a molecule of boric acid) (the ediacaran organism Tribrachidium)
Benjamin bricoleurs breaths / war within a breath its land or death Benjamin bricoleur breaths bandits my body bare breasts My breath blossoms breath ball lightning gag gas / cognitive behavioral therapy cock and ball torture Oliver cock rings Yahweh phallus piercings Rooster cock and bull ball torture ben bodies bare breasts ben bodies position posture girls give vogue guillotine Postmodern posture girls model iron maiden
Be sure they be lewd, drunken, stripping whores
Carried away in the spirit into a wilderness, I see a woman on a scarlet beast full of blasphemous names
Wilderness widens / her khora reaches me as the name Her name immediately says more than her name wild material bodies Bodies beach material / ben bodies wide holes whores
I whorl hydrogen and helium I whore ben bodies hydrogen and helium zeppelins / call the roller of big cigars, the muscular one, and bid him whip He whips whores then whorls devour him
I worship Whore of Babylon and upon her name written, MYSTERY BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH
Her name babels eruption whose irruption the name announces Name announces apocryphon and apocalypse anvil appetite left-handed scissors
The sight and sound of torture drove them all to the frenzy of passion BLOOD FOR THE HARLOTS OF HORROR
Harlots hurry havoc body horror vacuums Harlots hook honey bees axe left-handed / my own hands distractions
Taryn strips apocalypse making a landscape by motion Taryn bares shoulders babysitter dead saturn’s rings robberies Taryn strips apocalypse steppe stars time stretch skin constellations Taryn strips apocalypse interstellar space multidirectional duet desert duos: desert drones dunes desert play polyphony (your sister church in Babylon, chosen together with you, sends you greetings: and so does my son Mark) I sister ben body babylon I church ben baby ion system babylon flesh (the tortuous ordeal of two girls at the orgiastic gates of hell!) I pray her pornography plus minus black plague of our plagal cadence bodies (our bodies fuck flesh incomplete-but-complete cadence bodies: our bodies always in harmonic progress Our bodies process processions progressions and I prophesy Psalms Chord and Elektra Chord) Several psalms I worship between psalms bloody palms temple pillars
The morphology of the continuity, form, alone free
Away from ideas of order towards no ideas of order
The important ones, the ones plainly heard, the outer edges of the given cluster
Experiment edges additional multiplicity Edges certain experiments / ben body chance Body chance canned music stone telescope Stone telescope stone kaleidoscope Kaleidoscope taxi cab khora
Experiment intense edges empty words Kenosis language light khora Eventually the weed gets the upper hand Book grows between among other things
Book grows between among other things Book grows between among other things
Book the only way out Book exists only to fill in the waste spaces left by cultivated areas Book grows between among other things Book only way out among other things to through among bodies Book only only Book only only Book fills wasted spaces left by cultivated areas / Book only exists to fill in the waste spaces left by cultivated areas Book grows between among other things
Outer edge clusters book claustrophobia Edge egg clusters almond orange body asphalt Simultaneous control of radio, guitar, and other objects drastically and deliberately limited
Limit outer edge clusters comb jelly bodies ben bodies gelatin
The important ones, the ones most plainly heard, the outer edges of a given cluster Skull clusters stations of the cross cave cluster microtonal Stations of the cross cavern cavern chymistries: chymistry skull khora (khora reaches me and as the name) Her name carmels coral khora: khora alchemy khora careening cave of her name Cave khora for soprano mezzo-soprano, two mixed choirs, and orchestra Rhythmic densities producing vibrating columns of sound
Several psalms straw columns I worship between psalms I worship between bodies: ben bodies boated river river ring leaves of grass sea of reeds Leaves of grass gem psalms beryl bloody palms psalms pulse temple pillars Tabernacle pillars plier secret names I inscribe secret name scarlet beast babel and babel tabernacle and names whore wholly other holy other her Her whore marriage of heaven and hell whorls (not a symphony in which I have included psalms to be sung but on the contrary, it is is the singing of psalms I am symphonizing) Psalms strip psalms assorted clipper sails Psalm slim my body psalms stills / bodies fidget haunted photographs Photographs phantom graphomania phantom punch bob-and-weave in pocket pocket whorls whore whir bath psalm bodies (the voice of Yahweh causes the oaks to whirl and strips the forests bare The voice of Yahweh causes the deer to calve and strips the forest bare flesh / glory pornography) Psalms strip psalms assorted clipper sails sail silence (the opening staccato blast, which recurs throughout the first movement, detached from its surroundings by silence A perverse spacing of the E minor triad, with the minor triad doubled in four octaves while the root and fifth only appear twice, at the high and low extremes)
At edges in edges ocean edge Ocean edge high and low extreme
Desert densities densities Desert densities densities white key clusters black key clusters Desert densities densities bar lines only sere as a means of synchronization bar lines and beats never mean an accentuation but the music must flow smoothly (Book should flow smoothly until it doesn't flow smoothly)
Desert double and triple dotted notes / cave mouth entrances or inner positions: position triplets, quintuplets, septuplets
I melt together pornographies, exploitations, and horrors I write a horrific and holy pornography and I photograph nude bodies ben body taryn / serpent shredder striptease Serpent tenor saxophone splattercore splatterpunk / punk psalm prayers (the choir: throaty, full-embodied, darkly, inwardly passionate, sing with liturgical conviction and intensity in a memorable performance) Serpent surrender tenor saxophone striptease tannin / Babylon devours me she crushes me she sets me down an empty vessel she swallows me up like a tanninim she fills her maw with my delicacies she washes me clean I photograph nude bodies serpent human and the body serpent screech taryn serpent lilith / awake awake, put on strength, O arm of Yahweh: awake as in the days of old, the generations of ancient times: you hew Rahab in pierces, piercing tanninim
Counterpoint Of Gnostic Pornographies
A girl show was sometimes offered in which women were the primary attraction. These could range from the revue (suc has a “Broadway Revue”) with fully clothed performances to the more unruly “kootch” or “hootchee-kootchee” show (a strip show) which might play either partly clothed or “strong” (nude)
Write pornography Write pornography and the erotic (I have an awkward, difficult and complicated relationship with pornography; I have an awkward and difficult relationship with sexuality in general, with my jagged queerness juxtaposed against heretic Christianities) I write difficult pornographies and Christianities, and my body bodies boil erotic cross intimate eucahrist
I have a difficult relationship with pornography bodies aporias queer naked (often or almost-always not my naked body but the written nude Taryn bodies and the written nude Christina bodies, and I complicate with adoration and exploitation without immediate embodiment)
I write pornography because flesh fluttered felt furthers human I write my bodies progressively pornographic and my eyes imitate bone eyes bare shoulder bodies
I write with and to Christina, Asia, and Taryn, and they help me create better pornographies
I melt together pornography, exploitation and horror this is my body / my blood real drink and my flesh real food
A holy spirit striptease A spirit and sprite striptease not so precise with my body but my body butterflies Bare ben bodies butterfly hittite or assyrian swift slaughter An assortment or assemblage of auletrides (female dancers, acrobats, and musicians, noted for dancing naked in alluring fashion in front of audiences of men)
I machine melt pornographies, exploitations, and horrors the wheel of continual birth and rebirth / no mouth to suck with no anus to shit through Through my my explicit body and my exploited body no mouth to suck with obscene: my body explicit obscene any impossible inorganic body I always-already exploit my body burden of the valley of vision My explicit body virgin valley of the dolls and beyond the valley of the dolls / valley downer vision that’s a bar-bitch-you-ate (one excited him with kitten’s caresses… the other embraces him like a wildcat… VIRGINS NO MORE The story of two love-hungry women – as different as night and day – who fought for the embraces of one man!)
I know the cave because I know my body I know cave because I know my bodies: bodies bare branchwork ben bodies basketweave bare rhizome branchwork: body-branched chariotwork wheel skulls Skull wheel where bare bark caves / dendretic stream patterns Dendretic dream patterns mosaic stem turtles Stream smear skulls awls: my skulls widen extend narrow
Cave complete pornography: complete pornographic metamorphosis Cave karst erotic incomplete metamorphosis
Holometabolism marriage of heaven and hell / heaven and hell exploitation films
Her nude name nears my name naked: bodies nothing near none I wear none my unadorned body (Janie figured it as the only way to get to the top She also forgot it led to the bottom! THE SEX LADDER The naked truth about those fun-as-games among the young unmarrieds)
Her nude name knows my name none and nothing and her sex ladder lights the lights
Her name khora knots none and nothing Her name khora collapses nothing / narrow angular network caves Angular network caves curve my skulls intersect fissures of carborate rock fractured by chemical erosion
Cave dark and cave pornographic dark Cave down darker darker bodies Darker nude bodies still drown down cave deer bones Cave deer antler unsettled serpentine lurch Cave colonies nude: cave spore colonies colonnades palisades bananas in pajamas
Cave dark mystery of figures: cave dark mystery of flesh (she hungers for love, thirsty for sex, and men crave her wild body TONITE “well what are you waiting for? Do I have to undress you?” a scorching story of a gal, too hot to handle)
Cave dark mystery of figures: sorcerers and shamans Shaman and serpent shape my skin cave calve bodies Shaman and serpent shape my cave body nude shifts My body sounds shifts sifts sly serpent mysteries and mystery serpent sand Serpent sand serpent hand holes nude ben bodies not a human dwelling but a dark dwelling Dark dwelling dances ark cave dead / desert pornographies Pornographies play dark lurch year light Years lurch light Yahweh when dark When dark where dark: her body into darkness
Philip K. Dick saw the vision of a door in empty space, and the door glowed red and sparks, I say. It was perfectly proportioned to the golden ratio. Did he open it? says Asia. I don’t remember, I say. I will have to check. I'm going to open it. It opens into a desert. The desert where Secret Christians inhabited. They made the desert their city. They were anchorites and also gnostics escaping persecution from the proto-orthodoxy. This is where they gathered together the Nag Hammadi Library. They were eventually captured and killed by the other Christians, but they left their souls with the library. I don’t know PKD saw, but that is what I saw. It's funny that you bring that up, says Asia. A majority of the story I'm writing is in an astral realm and has disembodied doors in a desert. I just had the revelation I am too a secret Christian, I say. I know the secret teachings of Christ. He has gift med the spirit of Elijah and the Spirit of Elisha: it never left. I have been prophesying this whole time without realizing it, I say.
… Am I still a secret Christian even if Yahweh in total has abandoned me? …
… I still prophesy a Christianity albeit a very different kind of Christianity / Christianities …
… I dream Christianities but I never dream of god... … I dream women women Christianities …
… Benjamin a secret prophet and a secret Christian … … Benjamin a hidden compiler of the Nag Hammadi Codex…
… I record passion play pornographies and mystery play human bodies…
I write a horrific and holy pornography and I photograph nude bodies I photograph naked body book naked body cave mouth red coral kisses I photograph my naked body mirror women (Am I in the picture? Am I getting in or out of it? I could be a ghost, an animal or a dead body, not just this girl standing on the corner…?) I photograph my body as demolished public housing: I photograph ben bodies demolition derbies
I prophesy secret Christian pornographies Secret Christian serpents and serpents solo Ornette Coleman’s Skies of America
Be sure they be lewd, drunken, stripping whores
I whore ben bodies nude photography I whore Christian gods glamour photography / lingerie Yahweh stations of the cross pin-ups ben body beefcake Cave mouth models fugitive flesh escapes crucifixions (All they wanted was love… All they got was the shaft! Fantastic double feature first time together! Just take off your clothes… the photographer will tell you what he wants! THE PHOTOGRAPHER’S MODELS PLUS Sweden’s sensational Christian Lindberg as the working girl they pushed too far! HOOKER’S REVENGE)
Becomes dark becomes dark Becomes dark become dark room Dark room residue becomes bodies (my dada and neo-dada body darkens nude dada details naked neo-dada donkeys) Dark room cave mouth cascades camel bone: black boned angel Black bone angel cave canvas Canvas curves dark figures dark photographs (my body blazes shade almost-black canvases)
Long cave duration deep cave duration: duration durian cave dancers Cave dark dream of cherry blossoms Dream of cherry blossoms for marimba chalk marks, mermaid machines, and cave dew drops (my body drips cave cricket oil drop experiment)
My eye experiments Experiments a compound eye pornography
Experiment pornography a compound eye pornography (I remember his quadricular notebooks, his black cross-out passages, with peculiar typographical symbols, and his insect-like handwriting. In the afternoon he liked to go out for a walk around the outskirts of Himes: he would note with him and make a merry bonfire)
I note my eye My eye experiments note cross-out insect eyes (cross out the eyes put lines through these cries we pulled all the leaves from the trees that fall)
My eye notes insects My eyes notes intimate insects and insect assassins Experiments eye bonfires birth darkling beetles / beetles breech cave mouth dark room
Experiments compound eye pornographies: compound eye carfuck god pornographies Insect god island pornographies My body parodies pornography / my body plays porno comedies My body parodies porno homage hostages hostage homage cranial overlay hangers (I hang my clothes from naked skulls) Dark room bodies parody porno airplane hangar operations an erotic airplane aether
My compound eye returns typewriter pornographies / glyph gow ground grounds Pornography plungers compound eye purgatory / purgatory prophesies deterritorializaion
An Interlude: Tundra Tehom
I prophesy anew previously knew I know not not prophesy but prophesy: prophesy now alive museum and library library and sideshow sideshow and archive Prophesy sow sideshow show skin: slow skin skims prophetic no god but human body Human slides sideshow prophetic ben bodies Bodies bulge skunk beetles funk human skin / rabid bald prophecy
I prophesy god without god / human body hobgoblin goblet Holy graal grand guinol body horror body holes scapegoats rats Scapegoat god grafts skin scraps miscellaneous sideshows
I prophesy god with god slen sin archive Archive ink big apes Archive draws king kong cain godzilla versus king kong (they shot him down they shot him down they thought the was a monster but he was the king)
I prophesy nothing and none
Prophesy none and nothing / noun states accent on air Non more material more and more dense around me Me more material machines: machine invention combustion increasingly spontaneously
Nothing nexus: nothing network Newly nothing knitted nothing Naive nothing notched now nothing Notched nothing (a notch on my belt is how you shall exist a notch on my bedpost is how you shall exist and no more no less for the common good that’s you, american womanhood)
I prophesy nothing nexus nothing network numerous knots I prophesy numerous knots noise / noisy none noisy nothings) Noise nomads nothing several nodal points on pedal point hocket wocket in my pocket Nothing but time / nothing but hours
Hours crosshatch hissing stations of the cross Hours crosshatch hissing cockroach city-symphony stations of the cross (camera movement kept to a minimum, as is incidental motion within each shot… each frame provides a view of the city that has been carefully arranged into abstract compositions)
None noise nomads nothing city symphony Nothing nomads pink noise pink light nerve gas symphonies
I prophesy nothing nitroglycerin hang man noose gnosis / pink diamond desert metamorphosis
(Not to be confused with Urban Cowboy, Drugstore Cowboy, Manhattan Cowboy, or Cowboy in Manhattan)
Cowboy stations of the cross carves hissing cockroach crucibles / material nothing alchemical none
A difficult and dangerous place, a deathly place: it is dark, it is light…
I escape time I escape time no time but time other: another Another body unbound time museum Ornette Coleman’s sound museum Museum marketplace harmolodic swap meet
Am I worth the weariness and frustration mixed in? I say. Yes, says Asia. I answered in the way that your friends stay with you and remain your friend. I wasn’t sure if maybe you’re punishing yourself or felt guilt, I say. I think I often do too so I felt it best to ask you and clarify. That is not how I operate, says Asia. I do not have the time or mental energy to do stuff just for the sake of punishing myself. I don’t think you understand how hard it is to get my ADHD brain to do something I don’t want to do, ESPECIALLY something that takes a lot of energy, she says.
Escape time ekstasis Escape time entangles entheogen and eucharist Escape time no time Taryn terra tiara tensions: past time present tense time tor tunnel Tunnel time tor other bodied time seven thunders This time tehom
Minute poem written with Asia on 9/7/23
TUNDRA TEHOM
TUNDRA TEHOM HARD HELL TARYN TUNDRA
TUNDRA THUNDER
TUNDRA THUNDER SEVEN
Several languages looser thunder thistles
Shuttle thunder TUNDRA THUNDER
Tophet tackle box bear grizzly god tundra
Frozen fanzine tundra
Frozen fanzine bone blitz
Blanket bastard battering rum runner
Escape time tundra Escape time tehom thunder No time but time Taryn several languages / my flesh unfocused fanzine Flesh fanzine ben discarded bodies
I reassemble corpses and I animate waxed bodies candle monster museums Ben bodies dip wax desert metatron missiles My rocket-propelled grenade downs a UFO but then I realize it’s a self-destructing top-secret military drone Sonoran desert sodomizes me with drones dark body damsel-in-distress (damsel-in-distress dams ben bodies femme fatale and Taryn ties me to railroad tracks rhizome melodrama)
Something like more writing experiments / writing as laboratory I cut but I discover a place where my thoughts cease their preciousness or forced beautiful sound and magical names Something like more writing experiments / Tetragrammaton Theopoetics Taryn tetragrammaton theopoetics / NEW MUSIC NEW LISTENING Just an attention to the active city of sounds I attend this sound as sabbath (this sound as sabbath this notebook as brachial pulse polyphony) Bagatelle bodies / polyphonic widows and orphans NEW LISTENING NOW LISTENING she lights the lights
Cave Clangs My Skull Steel
I work word multidirectional Work word multidirectional desert polytonal propellant Wheel work Wheel work multidirectional lill desert Lill desert multidirectional lap light Work weird wheel wheel weave work / work directional derivative multidirectional
I always pressure the music, trying to get as much out of it / squeeze collage serpent sample
Shed spirit serpent swerve work I swear shed work worship Shed sled sleet serpent shadow work
I work crane cross slot control uncontrol I work control uncontrol subterranean Control uncontrol shed bone book sleet Book sleet slat slide bone control: bone control bone patrol pike Bone pike impales body pallor phallic flaccid Flaccid bone train tin work (I always play something I always have my instrument in my hand: I always play something)
I work bone pike impales body phalanx / spear splinters Spear splintered hollow point blood packet aporia Bone pares pale pack aporia / pressure created in the pit forces the material around inside edge to expand outward, increasing the axial diameter of the projectile as it passes through
Bone peaks pike edge exposed bone / more extensive tissue damage along the wound path
Bone blue multidirectional drinks cave mouth / mouth to mouth resuscitation Mouth to mouth multidirectional kisses
I cough care mouth moth ball bone Bone expands death from exposure
Spare bone cave mouths marrow lawnmower Spare bone wheel lock sparks cave spill small spall bone Spare bone small sprawl bone / multidirectional cave mouth Cave mouth spasms bone phalanx Cave mouth spasms bone phalanx cave fur and flesh: flesh bodies mouth mummies I burn my fur for bright orange fragrances I burn bone organ orange ouroboros
Salt multidirectional solutional caves or karst caves
Salt multidirectional munitions maul bone / porous bone or karst caves Karst cave khora reaches me as the name Cave kisses tales from the crypt / name numerous horrors Karst cave kisses Krystal and keystone Krystal keystone: the stone the builders rejected becomes the chief cornerstone Keystone bone curves the name: bone khora bone church Her name and her names key her names cave limestone Limestone she lights the lights multidirectional salt gypsum Gypsum jumps gods sound ground slow Slow swells multidirectional sound Gypsum sews we thin gin slow gloss glyphs
Cave glyphs cave graphs My flesh flows stones stalactite tummy tuck and limestone liposuction I graph cave with frat fracked light fractal lobo lobotomy Cave cuts ben body cave mouth cosmetics / limestone lipstick cosmic mascara tomahawk Taryn tomahawk hocket hackeysack
Cave glyphs cave graphs spiral galaxies My starfish arms spiral multidirectional motet meteors My floral flesh find starfish fingers / fingers flirt mobile form fireworks My fingers firecracker stalactites stalagmites helitites soda straws and columns
Cave calves my skull sparse stretch skirt skull
Cave clangs my skull steel stretch silverpoint skull Skull sluts skull cave lacunae Lacunae stud my skull with guitar cuts I stamp skull with cave mouth cuts across body flows and body flowers
Skull gardens green stars and goose stomach
I hope I create – I hope I prophesy – something radically flat and radically open I hope I prophesy something creative anarchic: no chairs but inclusive of the widow and the orphan I hope I prophesy the weed breaking open concrete the dandelion the guerrilla garden I hope I prophesy the crashed open black iron prison liberated into and between palm tree garden I hope I prophesy liminal and threshold holy life holy dead holy cemetery holy brothel the bridal chamber
I know the cave because I know my body I know the cave because I know my bodies: bodies branchwork word water rhizomes ben bodies work branch book map mack the knife / cave names I name cave ben bodies names I name cave numinous superluminous bodies maps lichen
ben bodies branchwork chariotwork wheel skulls Skull wheel where branchwork karst cave / dendretic deep dream patterns
Dendretic stream patterns ream skull awl Streams stretch skull raw my skull widens extends narrows
I lie lure lye write museum I lie lot your kiss is on my list rewrites museum and Book lagoons looped layers museum library battery Book battery oops lagoon loom cartoon layers leviathan and lord leviathan Lord leviathan it puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again Leviathan lords library of babel ben bodies babel lottery something fell from aloft
I lie din sin den lions write museum and Book lagoon leans lopsided loops loft unsettled soda blue Blue blurs her leak luscious insect liquid Blue blurs her lure insect tint liquefaction / she takes the sword Gram and lays it bare between them
Gram splits gospel cave graphemes and I walk halves between
She told me she liked to go out walking alone – I do too we can walk alone together
All this is like a dream and I never dream
I sigh sin lie thin signs gospel I sigh simple curve swerve writes museum and Book lagoons young and youth a guttural Yahweh Young and youth loch ness Yahweh (this notebook speeds free space for play and I play I play flatter language allan discontinuous, a collection for sake of collection I collect play texts and texts house and fortune I machine notebooks branchwork notebooks flesh factory notebook brambles babel I chord notebooks blue blur birdland ballroom blur and I only write one notebook – the Book I only write Gospel no difference but my entire difference book desert babel babylon woman Witch woman word which with renegade rhizome) (rudimentary faint prints of my own drawings blotted line technique ghostly images of young men and fashion models) Renegade rhizome wildlife woman wireless rushes Yahweh yam suf sulfur delta rhizome rhizome sodom and gomorrah god sadism rhizome rose ringlets sodom and gomorrah raw dog desert bottom Lagoon layers cassette tape loop magnet notebook machine bot bodies ben bot bodies assorted shotgun shell shallows
Book lagoons loch ness library card cadbury egg Book crocodile compact lagoon legume lall lunar Lall lull lunar lemming languages languages gospel of luke lat lot loss languages / gospel ghosts Gospel ghosts I would like to go and glean grain in the field of anyone who will allow me
Book lagoon largo lab cannibal cannibal cassette loop loot hop constellations cannibal roller coaster layer loop light museum museum Museum museum library Museum and library library sideshow archive (I prophesy and carry my cross daily although Yahweh abandons and Christ spits me out of his mouth I write as a form of prophetic discipline and I write to survive I write to survive the eloi eloi lema sabachtani / Yahweh abandons total ben body void vertical)
Conversations with Asia 06/27/2020 4:29 AM
I wrote this to my spiritual director, I say. “I think to a certain extent I have to get over it, and affirm fully as a prophet of God and write the prophetic. To accept that the wrestling and doubt is part of the prophetic experience, and this is my experience, and to allow God to use this prophetic identity to further the writing / prophecy, not in the manner of ego, but paradoxically, so I can become less and s/he greater”. May I doubt but never again for my prophetic gift, I say. Sounds good, says Asia. I honestly do think your work will help people in the LGBT community who want to connect with scripture, says Asia.
I no longer doubt if I prophesy for God: I discard the notion of a transcendent personal God in my life altogether This Yahweh abandons me completely and I gradually learn to write, create, and prophesy without the God I previously knew I do not feel myself as an atheist, agnostic, or even misotheist; God and I divorced, but I kept the prophetic power and prophetic language in the settlement I prophesy the work word multidirectional: direction difference not distance but cave mouth metals Christ spits me out of his mouth but I fall into Karst Krystal Cave Mouth serpent subterranean and I prophesy secret gospel and work rhizome signs and wonders I pressure the music melody prophecy, trying to get as much out of the logos language / I prophesy squeeze collage serpent samples cave chalk imago magicians
Vision and Mysticism 