Gather Material

Gather material

Gather material hunter gatherer

Gather stone and rock material sound spirit sulfur salt antipode antimony

Gather material inside left and right triangle crucifixions embedded in hypercube gem cut

Gather hunter material matrix mediatrix milk of the philosophers coagulate many-limbed lion

Gather material mottled antler harsh horn mandrake transmute into homunculus

Gather material almost matriarchal architecture torch chiasmus chasm chimera

Gather material hunter open field enfold feather bonfires

Gather material wild hunt alembic

Gather material

Alchemy Makes Creation Concrete

The divine act of creation takes on concrete and visible form in the alchemical process

And God said, “Let the waters bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the dome of the sky.” So God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that moves, of every kind, with which waters swarm and every winged bird of every kind. And God saw that it was good. God blessed them, saying “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas and let the birds multiply on the earth.” And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.

The divine act of creation creates itself creation. Act acts act divine actions: act crackles action snap. I act in the snap of creation. Snap acts Ben Lydia camera snap re-creation. Keep in act creation creates action. Act in the alchemical axiom: one becomes two, two becomes three, and out of the third comes the one as the fourth (Krystal, Krystal and Christina, KRYSXTRYN, KRYSXTRYN + Asia With Weevils).


//
I act in visionary alchemy / I travel underworlds

Here are the earliest known depictions of shaman with large numbers of grazing cattle

I graze among the gaze of gods I graze among Elohim and every good multiply Elohim dome kind Let the which blessed earth travel Lydia the sky them Waters and waters saying (Waters saying and bring saying so swarm be)

I graze among say gods gazes and I share shaman dancing I share shamans dancing with first full of mushrooms and mushrooms sprout from my body

I no longer act anxieties. I eat anxiety and destroy its acid ritual. My stomach as wide serpent swallows whorl its psychoactive power. With the waters say I swarm psychoactive power, the oldest known petroglyph depicting the use of psychoactive mushrooms.

I act in the alchemical process and multiple descent / waters say earths Act winged multiply and living great bird and there creatures descend drum trance multiply the one as the fourth monsters every the morning Morning whorls morning eating power

I become the bee-headed shaman and I journey to the underworld. I confront my anxiety confronted animals. I initiate mysterious dialogues (Elohim said let the earth and waters in the dome of living and multiply above the waters) with my anxieties. Anxieties cover of my crucified / coagulated body and I multiply speech shadows. Every creatures and seas speech shades and hauntology becomes a psychopomp the rough different heterotopias.

I journey with psychopomp: I journey with deities personifications (Krystal; Krystal and Christina; KRYSXTRYN; KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome)

I do not destroy my anxieties but journey crucified together

I act creative alchemy and alchemical vision
//


The divine act of creation takes on concrete and visible form in the alchemical process

God as spagyrist divides the primal dark chaos – the prima materia – into three divine primary elements, of light, of darkness, and spiritual waters So Elohim created the great sea monsters and every living creatures that moves of every kind with which the waters swarm

Out of the one, swarms: swarms was every that which of monsters Out of the one comes two winged God sky in the living out of two Out of two fill there saying be multiply the third

Divide primal dark chaos – of light, darkness, and spiritual waters (Spiritual waters swarms sea of the earth fills morning monsters)
Waters aleph awake
Waters trace awake
Long stone sound / found sound poetry
Waters web aleph awake bird whir cardinalities (every sky swarm creatures and fruitful little winged every kind bird)

Awake I prepare the awake alchemy Awake among awake I prepare awake alchemy anchors away abide with me

Process – whether alchemical process or introchemical process or chaos processes – play transparent. Admire transparent process and approach processes pure. Pure processes play perfection but transparent perfection. I awake in swarms swarm unbounded abyss (abyss plus abyss battles rock ‘em sock ‘em robots). Prima materia naked anew now in processes.

I think you and me have very different ideas on the purpose of creating, says Asia. You seem to think that if you aren’t the next great American writer, it’s worthless, while I see value in the creative process on its own. It’s a part of the human experience that helps us connect more deeply with ourselves and others, says Asia.

The divine act of creation takes on concrete and visible form in alchemical process

Draw Unreal Alchemy

I draw the bright alchemical drift

I draw ben alchemy and I absorb sulfur sift shift sulfur ben body salt I absorb gospel of mark and magic and I perform the magics drawn

They came to Bethsaida. They brought a blind man to him and begged him to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village, and when he had put saliva on his eye and laid his hands on him, he asked him, “Can you see anything?” And the man looked up and said, “I can see people, but they look like trees, walking.” Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again, and his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Then he sent him away to his home, saying, “Do not even go into the village.”

I draw Ben gospel alchemy: I draw my body absorbed in alchemy and I marry Gospel of Mark with Gospel of Cain. Alchemical salt stains my body and burns mark of Cain onto my forehead and hand. Gospel of Mark bellys body horror (Something is after Jessica. Something very cold, very wet… And very dead Let’s Scare Jessica to Death). I draw Cain body horror and body splatters aleatoric.

Draw aleatoric Attract the score projected on an automobile
Project came the him trees everything
Mark to hand he walking clearly
Gospel some led him Jesus
Drift desert snow Christina body wolf wasp butterfly machines

Draw alchemy. Draw Body. Body marks tree walking gospel and spit magic. Take the Allum of Spain, the white summ and the red gumm, which is the Kebric of the philosophers, and their Sol and the greater tincture, and marry gumm with gumm together with matrimony. Draw wolf and wolf marriage and mara bitter captures butterfly machines. I draw my body defined and refined by cockatrice Christina.


//
Draw unreal. Draw Ben Body disembodied. Draw myself composed of others quotations and any other text except my body’s (people don’t live or die people just float she went with the man with the long black coat)

Asia thinks our friendship is real and she shares with me the unconditional Asia participates in our unconditional whether Ben Unreal Ben Not-Here Ben Underground / Underneath Ben Ombre / Umbra

Now I rarely feel real or I feel increasingly unreal. It’s all television. Drawn by another Benjamin. It’s all film and I live altered states. “My” “I” doesn’t exist but pools primordial point pickpocket point.

Point primordial-primeval tincture – original matrimony
Original what original
What original beginning
Intersection between existence and nonexistence Union drawn and myth

When now “am” unsteady and unstated unconsciousness Unstable language / lizard steppe alphabet

Unstable language disintegrated tastes nonexistence

Draw unreal and marry real to unreal: true primordial Original television Motion picture chaos
//


I draw alchemical drift and I drift desert snow Christina I draw body undefined and Christina coalesces your deep rest (I called in sick from your funeral Tradition of culture nearly felt impossible) I draw place not defined by place: I draw not defined by body

I draw my body not defined by body. He took the blind man by hard and led him out of the village, and when he had put saliva on his eyes and he laid his hand on him, and he asked him, “Can you see anything?” I draw my body not defined by my body and I do not see anything. I do not see and salt and sulfur blind. Quicksilver poisons and my body doesn’t live on die but just floats.

An extradimensional eye comes to light through the bony roof on my head and I have an eye on top of my skull just for the sun

I draw the primary subject of my female body and I rewrite the Gospel of Mark with frank eroticism. But the youth, looking upon him, loved him and began to beseech him that he might be with him. And going out of the tomb they came into the house of the youth, for he was rich. And after six days, Jesus told him what to do and in the evening the youth comes to him, wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the Kingdom of God. I rewrite the Gospel of Mark with frank eroticism and naked man lies with naked man (The Horny Housewife It was non-stop orgy… and Libby was the main attraction in the carnival of nymphos and studs!)

I copy my body miniature monochromatic / multiple organ failure black canvas
Black canvas anvil animated horizontal erotic
Philosophical mercury joins again with sulfur, producing a homogeneous liquid


//
My body without place draws my body without place

Wrestling writes is the writing itself (Process and making becomes indistinguishable from Book-Text-Scripture itself. Do not forget the performance art of the Book and open process-chaos of Book. Book as scripture documents the process of its own creation.)

Fuck up the text / text fucks me up (time fucks up the text)

Document the displacement of my own body and my body without place document “my” body derealized and married to red summ and white summ coagulates

My body without place draws my body without place Document my body without place drawn into no place but primordial point
//


I draw the bright alchemical drift looked hands and of and asked village I draw body undefined walking led anything trees then to

Saliva on his hands and begged his hands or his eyes again and said Said my body without place disintegrates Body undefined people brought was restored and said, “I can see anything clearly”

I draw my body projected on an automobile Aleatoric automobile contact microphone file hammered Hammer body horror Body Prometheus unbound blood Blood stains monochromatic paintings (undefined body pierced unmirror body)

Draw alchemy / I dissipate in sulfur fumes

Anxiety Wrecks My Body

content warning: vulgar body horror imagery


Anxiety and worry wreck my body nervous word
Body nervous interstitial fall of the house of usher /
yeah yeah shawty got down low she said come and get me
Anxiety zips shipwreck body Body nervous spits spore network disconnects (I got so caught up I forgot she told me)

I met a lady today who I accidentally set off by making a joke about ley lines, says Asia. She claimed that streets and houses disappear in Jacksonville, Florida. What was your joke? I say. That maybe it was just mold, says Asia. Poor lady, I say. You broke her brain… Why do you think fungus has become popular in horror media? I say. Because it’s gross and slimy and MYSTERIOUS, says Asia.

Anxiety worries my body bonfire wreckage / I burn the wolf to reveal the new born king

Anxiety possesses me violent-intense and I shit exorcised anxiety. I extrude or extract anxious excrement (it is at work everywhere functioning smoothly at times, at other times in fits and starts. It breathes, it heats, it eats. It shits and fucks). I shit surreptitious alchemy: I shit alchemy secret asshole prima materia anxiety shits me out burning sulfur all spore surfaces.

Nervous that fungus MYSTERIOUS Nervous accidentally streets maybe has set anxiety (off horses shit disappears) I squirt nervous place of the skull
Place of a skull salt pit sketch stone
Place of a skull salt shit marsh crucifixions
Place of the skull sacred prostitution / prostitution in the penal colony
I squirt inchworm nervous / spore colony contra black iron prison (You broke her brain. Why do you thick fungus has become caliber in mother media? Because it’s chirp all slimy all lascivious.)

(Spore colony contra black iron prison Black iron prison poisson distribution)

Anxiety intensifies and I extrude its shit steamrolled play-doh. I shit anxious alchemy and its secret asshole heats up prima material. Asshole extracts abyss – spirits hover above the waters with skull shits. Alchemical asshole loosens constipated stations of the cross. Diarrhea deconstruction exiles anxiety into Mario Brothers warp pipes. It’s always bloodletting anxiety.

I fear everything but the Book – but perhaps I should fear the Book and prophesy its mystery in awe.


//
I live in intensities intense body lived. I open my body and spread out its intensity in an attempt at dispersal / diffusion. Anxiety overlays my body with nervous bone underneath. My body open open brings my body to bloody excrement / my body dies from the inside out. Nervous tremors shake my body open hemorrhagic fever. My body disintegrates gross liquefaction (bloated body without organs). My so-called body in bloody amorphous mass spreads itself out deepwater and salt roots.

(David Lang’s The So-Called Laws of Nature / At the basis of the whole modern view of the world is the illusion that the so-called laws of nature are the explanation of natural phenomenon)

My so-called body slides slime and slimy and houses disappear and slimy and houses disappear and reappear MYSTERIOUS I die die bloody dye god comes as a dyer the felt ben anxious death
//


Anxiety and worry wreck my body Wreckages disappear and reappear that streets my body aligned in the ley lines

Body nervous spreads out its spore network in black iron prison / place of a skull soft scissor silk My nervous system ejects out my skin and roams the iron maiden black iron prison (my body so-called natural body – builds body bricks into the melting scissors)


//
I feel dead end – not dead end but exhausted burying anxious my bones bones-in and I tire but I work and work through my disappearing body-hours. I work the weird anyway / I word wyrd towards I feel dead and wild west.

Dead end wild west end end endless disappearing and reappearing. Dead end my body intensely overgrowth by any fungus (A characteristic that places fungi in a different kingdom from plants, bacteria, and some protists is chitin in their cell walls. Fungi, like animals, are heterotrophic; they acquire their food by absorbing dissolved organic molecules, typically by secreting digestive enzymes into the environment. Fungi do not photosynthesize. Because it’s gross and slimy and MYSTERIOUS.) Houses disappear and reappear because I absorb them by releasing digestive enzymes in the streets. My body absorbs the intensity and anxiety wrecks my body gross bodily dismemberment.

Dead end wild west end end endless mold-infested hordes west word. I work anyways anyway work work wanders wonder wander work (anxiety transfers my body into a cabinet of curiosities).
Curious ending ending queer curious / ending curiosities


//
I extrude or extract shit and my body works everywhere, functioning smoothly at times and other times – my body fits and starts. My body shits open intensities open bloody sets open surface breathing alive slime appearing devours houses

I Study The Flammarion Engraving

I study the Flammarion engraving.  The print depicts a man clothed in a long robe and carrying a staff at the edge of the earth where it meets the sky.  He kneels down and passes his head, shoulders, and right arm through the star-studded sky, discovering a marvelous realm of circling clouds, fires, and suns beyond the heavens.

I study the Flammarion engraving and I carry my staff to the edge of the earth (I carry separate space and separate speeds. I carry speed separate spurious space. Space engraves spectral space in strict species counterpoint in Contra III The Alien Wars space. Polysemous space engraves the staff of night music.) I study into the irregular flux flowing knowledge: irregular flux flows over the rhizomic sea serpents


//
I study and print Kindred engraved in space and this is where time becomes space

I feel happy Christina is here. Christina here hovers light into heavy light illuminating here. Christina here happens into lever heavy light (Christina aether airy aether Christina). Christina here floats hex point point here heavy light Christina.

I study Christina engraved in space: Christina metric space distance points space Christina Study engraved space: space Christina speech split sit surround Christina (Crisp Christina kisses crack hack chasm slack soda pop Christina) Study engraved Christina (free jazz Christina free improvisation)

I study and print Kindred engraved in space and this is where time becomes space: this space speaks Christina chaoses
//


I study the Flammarion engraving and its alchemy imprints on my body unsteady colors / my body immersed color marriage of heaven and hell I carry my staff to the edge of the earth edgeless

I carry rod of Aaron. I carry rod of Aaron and I cast down the rod before Pharaoh and it becomes serpents. I cast down the rod before Pharoah Sanders and we blow tenor saxophone serpent glossolalia (I improvise intertwined serpents immersed Father, Son and Holy Ghost). I carry rod of Aaron apocatastasis and rod reeks bone awl and bone scalpel (I cut into scarped saw shell surfaces). Rod surfaces and floats into Christina light and her lights reveal revolutions around the X-axis. Rabbits appear in axes, Christina lights in the attic.

Feeling warm and fuzzy feelings, but also melancholy desiring feelings, I say to Christina. I was writing about the Kindred and that does it sometimes. It made me feel like I’m one of the few constants in your life. Is that fair to say, you think? Definitely fair, says Christina. You’re stuck with me, sorry to say, I say. I wouldn’t have it any other way, says C. I do romanticize the Kindred in a way, I say. Like it’s a super special relationship thing that is divinely inspired or something. I see a spiritualness in it, says Christina. What kind of spirituality? I say. I don’t have strengths in tending relationships, but this one persists, she says. My 12-steppy brain says that’s a God thing. God knows I need a very understanding to reel me in, says C. It perseveres because I keep bugging you, I say. There are plenty of people who bug me who I don’t return to. I didn’t know that, I say. I thought I was just annoyingly persistent! I reel you in? Well, I think I know it’s a good relationship, says C. It always helps me when I’m present. You are a steady and trustworthy friend. But my regular brain doesn’t think I deserve that kind of thing or think it will work out. I have to be in my right mind to recognize it for what it is. I understand that, I say. My brain does the same thing in some of my other relationships – feel like I don’t deserve it. But I don’t feel that with you. When you were gone I wrote that it felt like the natural order of the universe was disturbed and how it didn’t make sense for the Kindred not to exist, I say.

Study the Flammarion engraving and engrave the rod of the image into the road and cones of my eyes

I have no fear of making changes, destroying the image, etc. because the painting has a life of its own (I fear making changes. I make changes / I fear making changes. Christina changes metric spaces in the space of changing distances. I make changes and you are plenty of spired and how it’s super special relationships but the same: same changes. I have no fear of making changes and changes play polysemous nocturnes / wouldn’t have it any other way right music. Changes wouldn’t have it any other way polysemous. Polysemous. I keep bugging in my regular brain say you were are plenty of spired.)

I fear making changes but I continue to carry the road and staff serpent

Rod roots rhizome Rod unroots rhizomes rayonism (The Book is not an image of the world: Book forms rhizome with the world, a parallel evolution of Book and World. I do not fear changes and destroying the image, because Book invents and reinvents image in Chaos and Kindred / feeling kind and fuzzy feelings but also soundness cavitation feelings.)

The Book is not image of the world but destroys the image because the Book-World has a life of its own I study the Book engraved in world and world engraved in Book, and Book destroys-invents new process What new process: anything new What new process: text or text tunnel Text text tunnel God didn’t because spiritualness What new process: process possession text process: process possession text eroticism Possession text romanticizes Kindred divinely inspired Kindred

I study the Rod of Aaron engraved root root without root What new root without processes engraved text possessed power series (What new numbers announcing numbers – numbers no outlet and dead end – dead end nexus hex haxan) Study rod of Aaron with without rooted numbers (What new process – cell process low cut pornographic poltergeists – process new pornographic pomegranates play endless numbers innumerable – what new numbers announcing numbers)

I carry rod of Aaron abstract impressionism (Boiling wart and lisle feelings but also hovercraft marigold feelings. I was flayed about the Kindred and that does it sometimes. It home been like I’m one of those low constants in your tale. Is that fair to say, you think?)

I carry the rod of Aaron abstract expressionism. I carry blue on a point, a museum canvas. I carve canvas skin shards: human skin crystals. Human crystals engraved in canvas sharpen my skull new American art. My skull as canvas transforms canvas into ready-made bicycles, and I spin my skull as a bicycle wheel. My skull spins kinetic art bicycle stand and the moving parts part prime numbers (witch numbers and wolf numbers witch word wolf word pomegranate porneia). I carry the Rod of Aaron in the cupboard of my skull and I sift sand through eye socket magazines: prime number marionettes + marionette castlevania canvases. Castlevania canvases hammer witch numbers into earth edge roots. My skull bricoleurs canvas into anti-library / tower of babel and it babels great American novel and Flammarion engraving.


Change Direction The Shape Of Jazz To Come

Then change direction several minutes of free improvisation (the shape jazz to come)

Change direction the shape of jazz to come Change the shape of jazz to come shape shift shape Shape slip pit shape directions (directions into directions shapes)

I do not give up jazz but I shape jazz anew (Kerouac gave up Buddhism the way he abandoned everything) I do not give up jazz but shape janus both directions at once (Benjamin gives up Christianity. Benjamin gives up Christianity and I believe in desperate acts, the kind that make me look stupid.)

Then change direction several minutes of free improvisation

I was telling Asia how I was still getting used to talking to you again and how I didn’t talk to you yesterday, I say to Christina. I said I had told Christina I might feel anxiety when life becomes busy, that it might take a bit of rebuilding to feel comfortable when we don’t talk for a day or two or whatever it is. Asia suggested if one of us needs space and not talk for a bit, we let each other know ahead of time… I felt a lot of distress when I didn’t have any idea what happened to you for awhile and I think it would be a good idea if you let me know if you need to take some extended time instead of leaving me in the dark. And I will do the same for you. That’s not something I can do right now, says Christina. There will definitely be times when I’m too sad to look at my phone and in that case, there’s nothing I can do ahead of time. I think there’s a difference though not talking to me for a week and not telling me for three months, I say. I do completely understand that’s anxiety-producing, says Christina. If it’s not the right time yet, just let me know… I thought you meant like every day, she says. No, I say. I just mean like a few days you can’t talk, give me a heads up you’re OK after a bit. Definitely less than a week, says C. I’m totally good with that, I say. I do plan on getting better, says C. And I do see my relationship skills as a defect (like the 12-step definition). So I will be praying about it and asking God to empower me. I also think it helps, if you continue like today… You made it easy to connect with you even though I hadn’t read all your texts. Less pressure. I can sometimes talk a lot, I say. If you miss a lot of messages and it’s overwhelming, don’t feel obligated to read everything. If it’s super important I will bring it up or ask you. I appreciate the leeway, says C. I know it’s not ideal, but I think it will help me to take baby steps back into being friends.

Then change direction and then change direction several minutes of free improvisation (the shape of jazz to come / the shape of Kindred to come)

Then change direction I for what idea might of I I for what to not be praying with that two

Change directions dense texts / directions text dense stacked tank intensities Dense texts torch Taryn tortoiseshell intensities / erosion eccentricities Change directions a large number of rhythmically independent lines with resultant overlappings A large number bring to me telling large brings to me telling you didn’t You large number leaving in again you into I defect dark (I defect dark large numbers / defect dark large marge)

A large number of rhythmically independent lines mix defect dark with resultant overlappings defect dark dark independent (The narrative of Ben and Christina is a narrative that gives me hope. I desperately need hope and I desperately hope because I feel deathly apocalypse. Death arrives death and death attack airplane apocalypse kontake / bukkake eschaton.)

Change direction a few minutes of free improvisation (I study the Flammarion engraving. I study a wood engraving by an unknown author, so named because of its first documented appearance in Camille Flammarion’s 1888 book L'atmosphère : météorologie populaire. I study the Flammarion engravings use a metaphorical illustrative of either the scientific or mystical quests for knowledge.) Change directions a few minutes improvises free alchemy and fire chemistry engraved both directions at once

Dense texts stacked tank intensities change directions: Christina direction direct god bomb last (I feel a mix of erectness when I didn’t have its area what boltholes to you for awhile and I think it would be good if you let me know if you keep to take some extended time instead of beating me in the rich. And I will do the same for you.) Dense texts torch Taryn stalk tank intensities and Christina erodes my eccentric body always conic sections I direct text voices free polyphony

A large number of rhythmically independent lines with resultant overlappings / fused field of sound enlivened by irregular accentuations

Large number directions directions (Form blood chilly thrillers all rated R Diabolic Wedding a marriage night ordained by the devil himself. And The Gruesome Twosome in ghastly color! Astounding, stunning, bizarre: The Wizard of Gore and Edgar Allen Poe’s Legend of Horror)

Large number directions directions (Their form is human but they have crossed over… Is this sex after death? Th Witchmaker)

Then change direction several minutes of free improvisation (I said had suck Christina I might feel anxiety when life becomes safe that it might take a bit of rebuilding to feel refrangible when we don’t wind for a how or two or desiccated it is)

Texts overlap not to produce a network of interwoven independent lines but dense sound complexes that then change direction several minutes of free improvisation

I Dream The Red Alphabet

Bodies riot bell roses     Bodies riot and from here on: light created, concealed, contained in the covenant, entering the rose, emitting seed into her

Ben bodies revolt laugh light: light ben bodies ben bodies I snap light loft surfaces I snap light stellar dust ajar jetstream unstressed light From here on light and from here on lights

From here on light. Lights recurs and light embeds itself in light – recursive light surfaces. From here on the surface of the light loops into light and light leaks into scripture vibrating strings. Light strings occur with dark strings, and their vibrations complete the oppositions. From here on, oppositions. Light recurs in dark and dark recurs in light hieros gamos.

Bodies riot roses and from here on, light and lights and lights multiplicity

From here on light and from here on lights

From here on her lights hera and hydra Her lights from hiss holy serpent: lights from her hiss here serpent bodies bathed in lambent light (lambent light lambda liminal liminal lamb of god who takes away the sins of the world) Her lights from low luminosity From lights her high luminosity colored lights under a Christmas tree

From here on her lights low to my body bless cup and cross

Ben bodies revolt red lights and from here on her red lights Red lights row redder light in light a rhizome rebis Rebis lights rhizome marriage of heaven and hell hermaphrodite Hell hermaphrodite aleph adjacent autumn leaves massacre alphabet (Here, I dream in red and I remember in red, and the red residue stirs the hermaphrodite rebis. I dream the red alphabet and the aleph inscribes red and further red scripture. The red here leaves my body in remnants. I reside in red remnants dream and not a dream, and my disintegrating material reorganizes itself into red alphabets.) Red hell remembers the red dream and dream repeats red marriage of heaven and hell Hell hieros gamos slits my guts red hermaphrodite aleph (alphabet adjacent autumn leaves massacre alphabet)

Bodies riot bell roses and from here on, her lights illuminate red alphabets From here on light: the fear of the eye Fear of the eye seduces and conjures sorcery (Women need men – junkies need dope – I needed both! I Made My Bed A blazing novel of delinquency – intimately… frankly… shockingly… revealed by a teenage addict) Fear of the eye seduction and sorcery / extreme seductiveness at the boundary of horror (I almost abandon alphabet but I reabsorb alphabet and alphabets into the inner conjunctiva of my eyes. I absorb the letters into my liver and letters light body lovers fuck red. I remember red and I almost abandon this Book and alphabet but then I remember red. I remember my bloody eye eyes red and the rebis hosts hell hemoglobin. I abandon alphabets but the letter slices hell connected to hell and the hell conjures red: red body sorcery and my eye emerges from red magics.) Red revolts red my body bathes in red and I do not discard the alphabet but transform it in the red guts of my body

From here on light: the fear of the eye Fear of the eye seduces alphabet and alphabet riots Book Alphabet revolts Book sorcery / extreme seductiveness at the boundary of horror (Can this earth survive against the aliens from outer space? The Body Snatchers) Eye letters seductive insect lights from her lights insects Ben bodies fire light from cups eye blessing: eye insects body compound and complex light Compound light couples complex light coupe headlights (headlight the obsessive and lugubrious eye headlights the living eye) My eyes dazzle red daggers and red raptors

The lugubrious eye revolts against seductive eye, and the erotic eye riots against the autoerotic eye (Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but many. If the foot would say “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body”, that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear would say “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body...)

Bodies riot red hell light and bell roses Bodies riot and I remember red and the very red projected through my erotic eye redder

Bodies Riot Bell Roses

Bodies riot bell roses     Bodies revolt beghard and beguine belligerents

Bodies riot there’s a riot going on and going riots between bodies Bodies riot ring them bells ye heathen from the city that dreams

Bodies riot bell roses and roses alarm alchemy agitprop pulse impulses pulse Alchemy alarms pulse impulse pulse play chaosmos (Bodies riot rock n’ roll chaosmos and chaos churns bodies. Bodies riot rock and stone percussion pulse chaosmos and chaos contacts divine comedy. Comic chaosmos chews comic bodies and bodies riot wild. Bodies riot rock and roll rolling and tumbling all night long.) Bodies riot bell roses red pulses redder impulses pulse red

Bodies riot bell roses Bodies revolt beghard and beguine belligerents

//
My body hosts rose heterodoxy and alchemical here heresy and the hosts crash a riot going on

A cartoon Christina crashes into karst Christina and the limestone looks towards the site towards which all eyes gaze / insect compound eyes magnify bright Christina crimson.
A cartoon Christina casts frankenstein fire flesh douglas fir. Douglas fir finds flam fire fire rose faucets (Christina a rose of sharon Christina a lily of the valleys).
I enter the spinal staircase and the staircase steps steppe rose petal aporia. I enter the spiral staircase and Christina a rose of sharon slips between rose dialectics and galactics (rose gores galatics galaga galaxian / space invaders vermilion).

A cartoon Christina churns body riots and Christian heretics

My body hosts heretics crash into Christianity dialectics and nondualism
//

Bodies riot bell roses Bodies revolt beguines and beghards Bodies revolt alchemical agitprop pulse roses impulse roses rose runner Alchemy agitates animates pulse the future flood of shadowplay and shadow-work (Red and white water pour from the rebis, the twofold aspect of the material, to form the viscose, vitreous body of the cosmic eye, the sea of time and space) Heterodox Christianities agitate alchemy and the concoctions of salts and sulfurs (My heterodoxy hosts multiple Christianities: my heresy church the chaosmos of multidirectional Christianities. I prophesy continuous multiplicity and the written-rewritten scripture always has a two-fold aspect, a kind of double articulation. Book material doubly articulates Christianity crab canons, and crucifixion invites entrance to the vitreous body – visionary body voluptuous body viscose body. I host the many-at-once, and the Book as Magician and Juggler disintegrates and reintegrates the two-fold aspect of the material and the double articulation of the Book.) Bodies riot and distill vitreous vision, a cosmic eye staring at cosmic egg staring story of the eye

//
Bodies riot multidirectional Christianities and my Christianity grieves white and red waters pouring from my pierced side named Christina

I write Ben + Christina and I revisit an email I sent her from 22 years ago.

I wrote this poem last night. I’m not sure if you will like it or not. The title of it is “San Diego is a Useless City.”

There are mermaid tales
on your fingernails,
saliva on my soda straw,
and the ice cream headache
is fading fast

By September,
dreams of San Diego
will be replaced by
bracelets, beads, moments,
and pretty things.

So don’t cry, Tinkerbell --
Eden is over the next hill,
Eden is only…

Christina’s response on the same day: Ben, I loved it. Except… I went to [the high school] today and straightened things out. I guess that e-mail was just to scare us to get us in gear. They didn’t even drop my classes. Stupid people, giving me a heart attack. Anyway… I was actually starting to like the idea of staying here, but I guess God’s got other plans for me. So I’d still love to have you as a visitor on my couch (It makes me look cool, you know). Well, I’m off… (Christina)

Christina wrote the email in all caps to emulate her handwriting but I do not emulate it here – it hurts the eyes (it strains the cosmic eye and the comic eye and the story of the eye). If I recall correctly – I rarely recall correctly – Christina applied to UC San Diego, and she got a letter from them stating there was an error and they rejected her acceptance on a weird technicality. It was a false alarm and Christina did go to UC San Diego and managed to get a four year degree despite her troubles and traumas during attendance. The poem embarrasses. I was young and not every young poet can be John Keats or Thomas Chatterson – but it embarrasses and I continue to embarrass 22 years later. I embrace my embarrassment because it is mine and because it is me, and I continue to write and grieve embarrassment in the absence of Christina. The poem embarrasses and I partially based the poem on when Christina and I went to Baskin-Robins and she drank from my straw and I acted disgusted by her, but I must have been secretly flattered – she trusted me and we kissed. I couldn’t rewrite that poem any better – I would obscure the meaning and decorate it with purple prose. I never call Christina Tinkerbell – what an odd name to call her.

Bodies riot multidirectional Christianities a rose of sharon a lily of the valleys Bodies riot bell roses tinkerbells / fairy alchemy

//
Bodies riot bell roses Bodies revolt beghards and beguines belligerents Red and white water pour from the rebis and I render red bright red bleeding fat I render red rhizome repetition / thick adipose adonai I read red rendered fat forest rebis / rebis not a root but a rhizome Rebis restless rhizome: rhizome marriage of heaven and hell

My Body Hosts God Horrors

Horror hosts YHVH of Hosts body horror

Horror hosts body horror brushwork Brushwork breakbeats burden of the valley of vision / shaman drum programming Drum programming brushes pyramid text and text textures material paranoia (I program paranoid natural selection erosion)

Horror hosts body horror brushwork and texts erode secret serpent earth earth triangle body human pyramid (Pyramid photograph punk piston alchemy Ben body badger badger badger absurd flash alchemy and my flesh emerges earth renewed spherical lapis)

Horror hosts YHVH of Hosts body horror Horror lights large lapis light: horror lights lager lager lapis left witches Witch my body word winter music I witch my body word life forest flash I witch and I keep the fire two magic parts of the work I keep the fire for the dissolution of two body (solve) and the hardening of the spirit (coagula)

I love numbers and I obsess numbers, and I invent my own form of numbered mysticism and sacred geometry. I cut the strings in halves and thirds and quarters, and I prophesy again the harmonic series, itself a sacred geometry. I obsess numbers and numbers and operations with numbers, and I prophesy geological proportions and geometry portions. Revelation is the revelation of universal ratios (The horror of large numbers is the horror of the body: I discover larger and larger irrational numbers inscribed onto the organs of my body).

Horror hosts YHVH of Hosts body horror I witch my body word left largest number fires and large number lapis lazuli larger I keep the large number fires fires geometries I keep my body for the dissolution of time and my hands disintegrate large numbers (a dialectic on one hand and a galaxy on the other / my hands trouble me) (my hands trouble me and my hands disturb me my hands disturb the desert devils of dinosaur fossils)

I study solid number and liquid numbers. The solid numbers resemble crystals and krystals and wide open cave mouths: the liquid numbers resemble blood residue or the shadow of salamander bodies. I heat the numbers in the alembic and the gas numbers suffocate (unnumbered catastrophe). I measure the numbers and the gas numbers paradoxically weigh more than solid numbers. Energetic numbers orbit eccentric numbers.

Horror hosts YHVH of Hosts body horror I keep the fire for the dissolution of the body (solve) and the hardening of the spirit (coagula) I dissolve my body populated desert desert through wolves (I wolf on numbered bodies and numbered deserts: I wolf on numbered word and numbered wilderness) Through wolves her tree of life upside down

Horror hosts hell half half hell (They forced her to suffer the most humiliating evil! Hell House Girls Where the intentions are wrong… very wrong!)
Horror hosts body partially impossibly numbered (You don’t have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre! Pieces It’s exactly what you think it is!)
Horror hosts hell seven sermons to the dead (Where there’s no room in hell… the dead will walk again! Dawn Of The Dead)

A horror hosts gaudy colors and fire fauvist, and my body intensified horrors

I intensify the leaves and I amplify the leaves (How do you see these trees? They are yellow, so put in yellow; these shadows rather blue, I paint it with pure ultramarine; these red leaves? Put in vermilion.) I intensify the leaves vermilion Christina visions Christina keeps karst vermilion catacombs and ultramarine coffins Christina keeps an arresting or attacking karst burst ben hinnom blues / ben hinnom twelve-bar blues underneath ultramarines

Horror hosts garish colors gore and fauvist flesh flash fiery yellows and reds

Five vermilion leaves layer five roses around her slumped room for all particles participating outlines I outline Christina in cadmium yellow or candy pink as her outlines loop a volcanic ouroboros I outline a carnation pink Christina chase ouroboros ostinato napalm (five serpents welcoming five gates opens into the body of the divine realm) Five serpents set five to the rock and I reveal rock as real my spear and magic helmet

Horror hosts hostile colors body brash blue bronze weapons (There is more than death waiting for you in the dark places Dark Places)

Horror hosts YHVH of Hosts body horror

I dissolve my bodies other bodies bog breakbeat bitter descent: desert mara and marie / mixolydian mary magdalene I dissolve body ben adam adam beetle solvent and solute sergeant pepper’s lonely heart clubs band I band beetle music concrete ben brutalist alchemy

Alchemical Work In The Form Of An Eye

content warning: body horror imagery


Alchemical work in the form of an eye jumps impossible I-beam bell column

Alchemical work in the formless eye jumps work eyeball erotic alchemical work (The work of the Book jumps impossible alchemy work) Book works eyeball erotic alchemical work and I distill the work impossible jump jaws liturgy

I work liturgical Book: I word book ben body flash ben hinnom I scribe Book book ben body impossible eye (to learn reading my life in the Book of the Dead) I work word alchemy as eye alchemy, and I eye Book multiplies Book (Book multiples Book Who: her who who when wind hind scratch opera. Book multiplies Book Who: her who hand hole they aren’t violent until I’ve edited them. I edit Book multiplies Book Who: who soot share what happened to the shot. I multiply Who: what happened to the shot snow so bow Book multiplies Book.) I work liturgical Book and prayer Book and I sit in my cell as a paradise

Alchemical work in the form of an eye jumps impossible I-beam Book Work eyeballs alchemical erotic work or pornography (The barest romp… since Eve started wearing pants! THE FOUNTAIN OF LOVE) Alchemical eye works pistol pin-up nose art alchemy (Eye alchemy revolves piano burn T-O map neighborhood My urge eye oozes onyx obsidian outside (The body horror aspect comes in multiple forms, says Asia. There are gory images of childbirth, but also when the patriarch is close to death, he is a naked discolored breathing corpse on the bed, oozing black blood, with pulsating black tumors erupting from his body. When they want to force the main character to become part of the family, they cut open a tumor and made her drink the black pus, says Asia.) Alchemical work in the form of an eye jumps impossible body horror: multiple forms and multiple Books

Book multiplies Book body horrors Book shows screen sled a movement of cathartic hectic down the slippery slide of a shanty to tilted left still life and landscape Book multiplies Book body horrors and Book births black blood and tumor tetragrammaton Book births black body radiation ray naked body nude Body (Body pulses my body pink hallucinations. My body and Book pulsates absinthe pink elephants on parade. My eyes pulse pink centipedes and millipedes, and I march with pink elephants on parade. I shake my eyes elephant and I shake my ears serpents. Book pulses my body pulsating pink and my elephant tumors each author Book and Books.) Book multiplies Book and I see in my bed, my own body a discolored horror and discolored crucifixion

My urge eye oozes onyx obsidian outside urge eye mime inside earth outside ooze lime tree harbor Eye splits oval egg solvent (the arms raise up the two major parts of the work, the dissolving of the body – solva – and the hardening of the spirit – coagula) My body dissolves black blood and black ooze and my body coagulates pulsating tumors

Alchemical work in the form of an eye jumps impossible body horror / my eldritch abomination spinal cord My eye dissolves round body ordinary: ordinary of the mass My eye dissolves of childbirth but also when the main character to death My eye close to become part my eye dissolves there are gory images of childhood Oozing corpse on bed my eye dissolves is close to death, he is close to death, he is close to death, he is close to death He is close to force there are gory images of my eyes dissolve My eye dissolves round body ordinary: ordinary of the mass Mass mask monster eye ink open / black mass black angels

Alchemical work in the form of an eye and Book multiplies theme text pulsating black tumors Book multiplies tumors temptation in the wilderness long after once who word Word warms when weaver: word with bloody waste waste lamb (work word wild alchemy entropy)


One technique I used yesterday that’s new, I say. I heard this advice from musician Ben Levin: “If a process feels different, you will often get results that sound different.” So I tried a new technique with our conversations. I was working with the idea of “door” in my writing last night, so I did a search of our conversations on the word “door” and I found one of you talking about the Digital Circus internet show:

"In the first episode Pomni is obsessing over this secret door because she wants to escape but then finds out that the door itself was made by the ring leader because he knew they wanted an exit but he never finished it so there wasn't anything inside, and even if he did finish it it wouldn't have gone anywhere."

I cut out words and rearranged the lines:

"obsessing over this secret door door itself was made wanted an exit anything inside it wouldn't have gone anywhere " These cut words appear by themselves in the Book. Then I rearranged and made new sentences from them:

"This secret door itself was made This secret door wanted an exit Anything inside this secret door have gone anywhere"

Basically taking our conversations, making blackout poetry from them, and then rearranging and permutating them, I say. I like the idea, says Asia. It helps achieve that goal too I was telling you about the other day – treating our friendship and conversations as experimental poetry instead of being separate from the rest of the Book in terms of technique, I say.


Alchemical work in the form of an eye jumps close to corpse on the part of the part of child birth but also when they want to death Alchemical work jumps face horror huntable forms, there ice gory images swampland (I study the swamp and I approach the alligators. I study the swamp in the image of the alligator. Alligators swarm swamp and I study the swamp swelling birthing horrors. I study the image of the swamp in the gore of the alligator.) Alchemical work in the form of the eye multiplies the Book Book wire word when wander from word to word an when to when with Wild I lie naked discolored breathing corpse on the bed, autumn crown blood, with pulsating crowns and pinks and landscapes Pulsating crowns erupt from my face pyres and pus vixens Vine I video word with wind videotape tumor slashers I slash tumors when which women women desert

Alchemical work in the form of an eye looks wild alchemy entropy Alchemy ink body sink solar anus armory Book ben body unarmored or dismembered Vertical vertebrae bone brass horizontal horizontal bronze maul bash / skull morning star

I work alchemy and I slash tumor sleep wheat what can I take as a witness for you I withdraw wildlife waste land land sand videotape

Alchemical work in the form of an eye jumps impossible body horror I jump a giggling clump horror aspect leaves in multiple forms, here abide gory images from childbirth I jump work body horror bone work Alchemical work wheels in wheelbarrow bones filled with bones (My work arranged and rearranged word bone and wild bone. I arrange bone with bone and around bone, and bones birth new forms of alchemy. My work arranges bones: bone fill bone and bone full bone and bone for bone. My work arranges bone abandoned: bone without bone and bone dissolving bone.) Alchemical work in the form of an eye and eyes hang from eyes arrangements and rearrangements