I Steal A Kiss From Christina

It’s not stealing if it’s everything

I steal a kiss from Christina something and not everything and indeed stealing I steal a kiss from Christina and she pouts (I stole the kiss without her consent: sexual harassment wasn’t taken serious then – just boy things. It still isn’t taken seriously most of the time.)

It’s not stealing if it’s everything – every sound every text every image
Bar really red with Chinese paper cutouts and wood paneling glass
A glass argument at the pool table in the back
6 or 7 old pugs in felt
Her villain from Terry and the Pirates
Steal plunder sample as hold harsh kisses miss hand of doom

Steal everything: gospel myth narrative blues (I’d rather be the devil than that woman man)


//
Steal devils I’d rather be the devil than the devil delivers deviled eggs

I’d rather remember I’d rather rather remember I’d rather reveal devil devils her visions
Legion legion contagion logos
I reveal rather here rare legion I reveal I’d rather be the devil and the devil deliver driven devil (Christina cooks hamburgers and lobsters on the Red Devil Grill body barbecues)

I believe sympathetic to gnosticism – Sethian gnosticism and Philip K. Dick gnosticism. I pray sympathetic to the early variety of Christianities and Abrahamic demiurge religions. The devil and any god – YH, Saklas, Yaldaboath – plays the paradox of I the Lord create good and evil; I the Lord create light and dark. I enjoy the contradictory totality, and I often see the Monad in the supernal darkness of total total tonal totality. Steal everything like Saklas stole the light from Sophia. The Divine Feminine and the Divine Syzygy gives all totality for the legion of stealing. I’d rather be the devil than that woman man – I’d be the devil woman that any man.

I reveal I remember other devils and other legions all logos
I’d rather be the devil than be that woman man –
Nothing but the devil changed my baby’s mind
I’d rather be nothing but the devil change my baby’s mind (I change my mind and my mind bones marrow marshmallow. My mind meets the devil in the devil of my mind. I steal devil horns and keys to the bottomless pit and my body burns bright burning star.)

My mind minds my mind devil bone marrow mirror (my mirror blind’s bone marrow brick buildings)

I steal everything including Sophia-Light and Yaldaboath-Water-Reflection and Devil-Horn-Repetition
//


It’s not stealing if it’s everything I steal a kiss from Christina which sometimes soul in everything and something I ship something my own devils

Will you forgive me for kissing you on the top of the head? I say. I’m sorry I did so. I forgive you, says C. But how will you atone? What do you think I should do to atone? I say. Well, my 12 year old brain wanted to say something sexy and silly but I’m tired, says C.

I steal a kiss from Christina but I atone by doing something silly and sexy. I steal her sexy kisses and we fuck devils legion. Devil steals my soul and soul sparks and my sparks transmigrate upon Christina’s kisses. My speech steals sources creative power speech speaks sources / stolen creative powers. The Son of Man had the power to change the world through language (I change the world through the language of the Book).

(Will you forgive me for pillows you on top of the head? I’m dance I did so. I forgive you. But how will you atone? Where do you drunk I should do to atone? Well, my 12 year old brain wanted to say disasters sexy and silly, but I’m tired.)


//
It’s not stealing if it’s everything

Stop block steals my skull everything. Dead end? Which end? Without structure – which structure. Only hourglass. I listen to Anthony Braxton’s Composition 323C, a trio with Mary Halvorson and Taylor Ho Bynum, performing his Diamond Curtain Wall Musics incorporating SuperCollidor and an interactive electronic backdrop. I do not know the structure – this music seems endless and can go on forever. It stops when the time runs out but not because it reaches a logical or structural conclusion. The Book steals everything and constructs similar structureless structure. The Book ends not because of structural logic but because time runs out (I die and I end and I’d rather be the devil than that woman man). I write and witness until the time runs out – until then I prophesy and explore. I invent nude-naked text without mediation. Towards an impossible text texts. Dead end. Which end? Without structure everything stolen.
//


It’s not stealing if it’s everything – I steal the creative power of the Son of Man and I change devils through languages. The daughters of humanity power pursue pursuance creative power. Devils transformation world through languages (Will you peptide me for kissing on pad the head? I’m sorry I did so. I peptide you. But how will you atone? What do you think I should do to atone? Well my 12 year old brain butter to say something sexy its hardy but I’m tired.) The Son of Humanity has the power to change the world through language… I continually repeat and transform the language – rewritten conversations, stolen conversations, divine devils and Ben transformed / transforming women – and I hope its serious play changing worlds (Christina changes my soul and she says your soul and forgiven).

It’s not stealing if it’s everything
Well head? Will to something you I’m you atone?
Well sexy forgive sorry atone?
I’m my and me I’m glad what twelve silly for did
do year but kissing so
I kill everything stolen every sound every text every image. I kiss barred in the dye Chinese cut-out. I kiss grass at the pool table. I kiss Christina as villain with her Dr. Claw purring cat.

I Merely Assemble And Transform Objects

I don’t compose: I assemble materials     I assemble material myth material math mockingbird assemblages

I assemble human heads repeated / overlapped I assemble human heads overlapping circular lines shifts Circular lines overlap portrait snow shifts / parallax polar coordinates

I don’t compose: I assemble materials I assemble snow portraits polar bear silhouettes I material slower snow appendages or assemblages

Douglas Huebler said: “The world is full of objects, more or less interesting: I do not wish to add anymore. I prefer simply, to state the existence of things, in terms of time and/or place.” I like objects and the materiality of objects, both objects whole and in fragments. I merely assemble and transform objects. I rearrange and repeat objects interesting and uninteresting, and I like to think the object bricolage adds new or novelty to the world. I hope to prophesy an anti-tradition, a sort of revolutionary and avant-garde spirit that nevertheless ruptures and sprouts out of tradition. I reinvent and (mis)interpret traditions. Anthony Braxton categorizes creative / mystical cycles as restructuralist, stylist, and traditionalist. Restructuralism is analogous to Thomas Kuhn’s paradigm shift perhaps – that creative breakthrough like Charlie Parker’s innovations that led to bebop or Albert Einstein’s theories of special and general relativity. Stylists are creatives who build upon and expand the initial innovations: I believe Braxton gave Paul Desmond and Ahmad Jamal as examples (it should be noted that for Braxton, this is not a negative comparison to restructuralists but each part of the triadic cycle is necessary for healthy and full creative development, and Paul Desmond is a huge influence on Braxton). Traditionalists are those who continue in older forms, such as performers of Dixieland Jazz or older forms of blues and gospel music. I find Braxton’s creative cycles a useful model for my own creative processes and motivations. I feel I work both simultaneously in a prophetic / mystical / visionary tradition as well as in the avant-garde and experimental lineage. I attach myself to the cycle of traditional bodily other into a regenerative and experimental magma/miasma. I assemble objects and my assemblages in themselves amplify novelty and new.

I don’t compose: I assemble materials I assemble slower soft processes / poem cardinals I assemble facts My face transforms faces: my face morphs faces face-to-face fire summer fog My repetitive face manipulates face topologies (I assemble faces in night terror distortions)



Prophesying A Language That Interrogates Language

Iris, shimmer, dreamless or dreary

I ram iris I ram iris insects almost-sacrificed isaac Binding of Isaac imitates horned lizards and horned insects (Moses did not know his face horned because he had been talking to God)

Iris horns irradiated hell / marriage of heaven and hell Iris horns impossible helmet transformations My uneven eye irritates impossible transformation / several adamic languages Adamic augmented interval languages

Iris implicit engine Iris implicit differentiation

I visit sideshow independent iris and my iris isolates several shades / a shard shank slots my cerebellum

Cerebellum evangelion Evangeline vision volver veronica cerebellum ball boll weevil word / my beetle body My beetle body beats moptop tow terror tlon Tlon traces eye teeth and map fanged flesh / flesh horns hangings and hang on a tree

My tectonic teeth tlons monsters Tlon turtle monsters meat cult macrocosm chasm microcosm I worship monster woman / monsters decentered cerebellum Monsters decenter cerebellum / my head bells caves I worship monster woman and woman among monster window mass word wheel

I worship iris implicit engine I worship iris implicit differentiation Iris ejects church ikon and iron ingot Iris meteoric iron orion ouroboros avalon Iron maiden isle of avalon Iris car engine car crash (rifles, shotguns, pistols) Iris radioactive ionization disintegration of languages

I have a question for you, I say. It’s concerning prophecy. Reading an old conversation. A person suggested I should get therapy and implied my prophethood was mental illness. I asked your advice. You said you thought that person was an asshole and you thought my prophecy was a form of art. What do you think now? I know you have said more recently about the book prophesying to those at the margins, but I’m curious about this idea of prophetic art, I say. I don’t think prophecy is a mental illness, says Asia. I do think religion can combine with mental illness in bad ways, but instead of asking yourself “Is this hurting others?”, ask “does this stem from any pre-existing negative thought patterns?” and parse it out from there. I don’t think that’s true for you, really: you do some beautiful things with your writing, says Asia. Do you still view my form of prophecy as a form of art? Yes, says Asia.

I prophesy the resistance of a hard surface I prophesy new arts and new techniques I prophesy paintings that do not have a center but depend on the same amount of interest throughout

Prophet space approximate aporia Prophetic space chasm khora: cave mouth noun disintegration All particles in the pile soon reach a nounal state Names the colored barrels we trip inside / a name colored barrels we trip inside / a name comes and immediately says more than the name Prophet speak space: space speech sprawl language mesh marsh marsh language bayou / banquet bay of blood Language mesh cartoon lagoon / they run on blood THE CARS THAT EAT PEOPLE

I read the following from LANGUAGE magazine, February 1978. “Larry Eigner Notes” by Clark Coolidge:

Each line a new mind (focus) rather than division determined by breaks of sound, syntax, etc.

I prophesy a paradoxical nonlinear line: line carves cut inside and out projected octagonal Line curves Philip K. Dick nonlinear and Dick envisions the light orthogonal from three-dimensional space (not a dimension of spacetime but an imaginary transcendental dimension / a gold and red golden ratio doorway)

Prophecy ruptures iris language language eye incisor Prophecy bites eye smashed languages…

(Languages seize me and my hands trouble me I try to find other cuts cane cross cruciform languages or languages across the cross)

Iris eavesdrops bebop languages Iris improvises bebop maps and fragments (a torn map a reversed map Robert Rauschenberg combine maps)

Maps wordsmith languages (each line a new mind) (Each line a new machine / miscellaneous horns of Moses)

Iris improvises bebop maps and fragments: map icons map fragments flight iris iridium Iridium rabbit desert blue dye maps (I’m feeling down and would like some cheering up if you’re able, I say. Why couldn’t the rabbit cross the road? says C. Why not? This is from Miles who said he wanted to cheer you up: She had a HARE in her eye! That's pretty good – thank you Miles. He says you’re welcome: I’m leaving to my room, says Christina)

Sentence fragment sentence fragment Sentence fragment map open open connect dimensional desert

I sneak with sentence suspicion Surplus sentence slender disintegrations My languages disintegrate mutated maps I map hammer flat serpent slate I strip the slate bashed flat


Written in response to a request for a manifesto of music, 1952

INSTANTANEOUS AND UNPREDICTABLE
Nothing is accomplished by writing a piece of music
Nothing is accomplished by hearing a piece of music
Nothing is accomplished by playing a piece of music
(Our ears are now in excellent condition)


I had this revelation just now in fact, about the writing and blog posts, I say. What was the revelation? says Asia. Lately I have been influenced by the music of Elliott Carter, Anthony Braxton, and John Cage. I told you about how Elliott Carter in his String Quartet No. 2 treated each of the 4 instruments separately (with 4 different characters interacting and clashing…)

Anthony Braxton is most famous for his quartet from the late 1980s to the early 1990s. He wrote his pieces in such a way that they were radically modular: any melody line for example from another composition he wrote could be prepared and included by any instrument in his quartet. Often, one member would be improvising, two would be playing the composition, and a fourth would be playing a line from a secondary composition. There's a simultaneousness going on.

John Cage in the early 1950s had this idea called The Ten Thousand Things. He thought of his work as always in progress, and any piece could be played with any other piece he wrote. The way he did this is he structured all the music he wrote during this time on an open rhythmic structure: every piece had the same open rhythmic structure and they could be combined in any combination in this manner…

I realized you wanting the blog posts to be more independent and self-contained is not a bad thing. If they are independent and self-contained, they can be combined with any other blog post, and read in any order. They can be truly anarchic and open, I say. Yeah that makes sense, and that’s what I’ve been thinking, says Asia. Making each post on its own strong by itself makes the whole stronger, she says.


INSTANTANEOUS AND UNPREDICTABLE Nothing is accomplished… Our ears are now in excellent condition

Do we have anything in music that really wipes everything out? says Morton Feldman. That just cleans everything away?

An nonidiomatic improvisation: play without memory Write without memory (not an automatic writing but a prepared piano writing or Anthony Braxton co-ordinate logics) (Writing aporia punctures impossible languages but languages pray passions and passions)



I Play The Pieces I’ve Already Played

But are you acting as a composer or as a musician? Jacques Derrida asks Ornette Coleman.  As a composer, says Ornette Coleman.  People often say to me, are you going to play the pieces that you've already played, or new pieces?

Acting Act Action painting
Act Act what Act when When worship Woman ( I act in clutter I act cardboard golden horse / benjamin balkanization I decide to act from an originless origin and sourceless source: Book Perhaps Her Book but what her What her I encounter my who an assemblage as assemblage acting assemblage) (Body without organs units of density body without organs units of convergence)

I dislike rhetorical questions and the symbol of the question mark / am I writing for the sake of writing or do I write with a particular purpose in mind I write for the sake of writing but prophetic purpose always-already contaminates and invades this writing-for-writing's-sake at its imaginary origin Writing always acts the act of writing torah (the neutral action of writing engages in potential Torah)

WRITE and WRITE – even if it's MAKING THEM DIE SLOWLY and MEAT CLEAVER MASSACRE (I prefer the title-sentence SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE)

I act and I act in prayer and with prayer: I pray writing woman writing She writes me more than Yahweh or Christianity writes me and my body continually tracts question action written (You are the one who writes and the one who is written)

I act as a writer or a prophet I act as a healer or seer and I write sight sound sigil I write sight sound signs gospel god-spell holy ghost hag housing / Christ among the poor How blessed are you who are poor, for the Kingdom of God is yours

I act prophecy torah testament apocalypse (Yahweh called me when I was wounded; before my birth he had pronounced my name He made my mouth a sharp sword He hid me in the shadow of his hand He made me into a sharpened arrow and concealed me in his quiver He said to me, ben adam, you my servant through whom I shall manifest my glory)

I act all-over painting on the corner On the corner monochromatic paintings On the corner field color paintings

I play the pieces I’ve already played I play the new pieces I play the pieces already played and new pieces simultaneously / everything once one action acting on the corner A looser and freer approach to the materials / I will edit and assemble it later I will take the Teo Macero approach (Benjamin both Miles Davis and Teo Macero – I improvise then perform the studio as instrument / assemblage wall of sound assemblage) (Anthony Braxton collage logics and pulse tracks and I often copy Anthony Braxton)

I copy John Coltrane and Anthony Braxton

The doors of the horizon are thrown back; its bolts are unbolted

Doors horizons heterophonic floor language / foreground languages melody harmony rhythm and the three together Three simultaneous doors Three unsynchronized doors / three unsynchronized deserts

A freer music through a freer writing
Freer musics with freer writings

I improvise I compose I interpret I conduct

He does not embarrass… I multiply hypomanic maniac mansion / dilapidated ghosts I multiply by X, her unknown X her unknown Sun Ra and his Arkestra Multiply hypomanic machete desiring-machines Multiply midnight devil dark Multiply medicine dark desert and although the desert has become a method, I often visit desert in vision (the desert not a method but a myth multiply myth multiple mythologies)

Midnight margins then migration musics Mean then median musics as macromolecules then macrocosms / multiverse miniatures midnight holographs Holograph graphite surface area black hole thermodynamics

Hypomanic hyperousias heterotopia terror train Taryn Midnight meat train Taryn

Multiply abyss beyond abyss ben adam Abyss ben adam writes ben adam and I write as a witness from now on remember that you have seen the Son of Humanity and have spoken to him and listened to him

Certain stations of the cross

A simplified chart of Golgotha guts Gethsemane (as the system evolves, Q traces a path in configuration space (only some are shown) The path taken by a system had a stationary action under small changes in the configuration of the system)

Certain stations of the cross KING FELIX

Relating his interest in multiorchestration to an early love of parade musics, where several bands would march along all playing different tunes, Braxton has written: It is as if the whole universe were swallowed up – leaving us in a sea of music and color

I think of time as all-time I think of time as all-time all-when Freer time and timeless time Timeless time and prophetic time I prophesy the time Taryn multitempo and terraced tempos An attempt unterraced tempos Taryn to and through tempos Uptempo underneath tempo alltime (I still feel stuck, tethered)

I stitch stuck in my tempo one tempo / not outside I stuck swamp my internal method (Bead constrained to move on a frictionless wire The wire exerts an action force C on the bead to keep it on the wire The non-constraint force N in this case is gravity Notice the initial position of the were can lead to different motions)

Composition 76 (For Trio) a static sound no forward linear movement at all but the music a necklace of movements caught at a point of coming-into-being

Composition Book of Circumcision Composition Book of Circumfession

Composition CUNT incomplete cunt

(I wrestle writing because I wrestle self my self My self continued consciousness / deconstruction the passion for transgression and the transgressing passion per paths Pas of the passion passion of the pas I do not pas the pas but aporia I wrestle writing written and rewritten the trace of the rose traces thorns Crown of thorns Christ from Keter to Tiferet in Kenosis / like a rose among thorns so my beloved among maidens)

This rose cup of blessing This rose book of questions You are the one who writes and the one who is written

At the threshold of the Book At the threshing floor of the Rose

Stations of the Cross transgress Stations of the Cross I wrestle cross asemic writing / writing between ruptures then writing with ruptures Flesh fixes fast fragments figure texts anal fissure texts cunt fires Anal annals and archives I steer towards sodomy Cross sodomizes eloi eloi lema sabacthani

(The iconic T-Bucket. Also features dropped tube axle, transverse front leaf spring and front disc brakes)

Cut glitch glutch god Cut god glimmer catgut caught catfish Christianities (Composition diagrams Cobalt and Kelvin rhythm) I sleep underneath the vocal and horn chops Lamb Chop’s play along Lamb Chop’s this is the song that never ends I let love in


Conversations With Asia Rain 05/04/2020 12:36 AM

I’m thinking about using tarot for story ideas, says Asia Rain. It will give me practice with the cards and probably lead to some cool stories, she says. Philip K. dick wrote The Man In The High Castle using the I Ching, I say. The composer John Cage used the I Ching when composing, plus constellation charts and star charts too. Tarot seems like a good path too, I say.


Approximately aleatoric Approximately aleatoric queen jane approximately I tire of myself and all of my creations / I’m sick of all this repetition Seven of Swords deception and trickery / desert trickster Taryn

A tentative Taryn Tarot (I struggle with – not with – only struggle I struggle holy spirit I struggle strangle holy spirit writing and the stone which the builders rejected has become the cornerstone has become the keystone has become the crowning stone I write stumbling stone striking stone stone sister stations of the cross)

Taryn Tarot into the breach / Book broken open beach Book blue bathers Einstein on the Beach

This cross fixes all things apart This cross time-out-of-joint time-out-of-mind joins all things to itself and in crystal one streams forth all things / her crystal and cross compacts all into one The cross itself a cross crays coriander her cover, then her coven in coven strength of fates unfixed atonement

Cross cross spondee swan stresses
Cross cross my spouse as jaguar in her waters worship fixed then unfixed constellations (word constellation constellation languages from the canyon to the stars)

I worship the cross then Christina I worship the cross as Christina

Taryn Tarot teeters the covers / Christina stations of the cross

Boring Theodicy Interrupted By Francesca Woodman

You cannot see me from where I look at myself and I look lock hooks hanging man     I lock loose lips sink ships hanging woman and she covers me coven her leviathan scales scales tabernacle     Scaled courtyards of the tabernacle liquid low coolant     Coolant slowcore and shoegaze gods look differently     gods look different different female bodies body woman books     Her books blade gnosis fruit-eating bats bandied-honey insects     Laffy taffy butterflies surface frissons frictions scale leviathan, her canopy canyon courtyard of the tabernacle

An imaginary frankist Francesca Woodman     An imagined icon photographed icons a frankist Francesca Woodman and I pray to her image as Maiden Moloch Malchut / mist most milk waters     Mist most milk waters mysteries and mysteries maiden mysteries my mysticism emerges Krystal Chrysalis     Krystal Chrysalis Khora     Krystal cocoon canopy kainos krisis


Saying 62 in the Words of Our Lord, Jacob Frank:  All religions, all laws, all books of old, if one reads them, it’s like turning your face backwards and examining words which have long gone extinct.  All this originated from the side of death.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in a 1944 letter:  Are we to fall upon a few unfortunate people in their hour of need and exercise a sort of religions compassion on them?  If we don’t want to do all that, if our final judgment must be that the Western form of Christianity too, was only a preliminary stage to a complete absence of religion, what kind of situation emerges for us, the church?  How can Christ become the Lord of the religionless as well?  Are their religionless Christians?  If religion is only a garment of Christianity – and even this garment has looked very different at different times – then what is a religionless Christianity?

John D. Caputo writes in The Prayers And Tears Of Jacques Derrida:  Still Derrida says, his mother must have known that “in the constancy of God in my life is called by other names” and even though he does indeed “quite rightly pass for an atheist” with respect to the God of the orthodox faiths, still he has an “absolved, absolutely private language” in which he speaks of God all the time…


(A religionless religion     A spiritless spirits holy ghost immanences)

(Christianity is only a husk     Open the husk and find the fruit within – yourself in Christ and as Christ and through Christ)


So David banged Bathsheba, basically had her husband killed through neglect, says Steve.  His punishment is God killed his first baby but then gave him a second one was a great king?  Can someone explain how this god is moral?  It depends what kind of answer you want, I say.  This is loosely related to theodicy, philosophy and religion related to why there is evil in the world.  Right, says Steve.  If god is all good all knowing and all powerful how can he let all this bullshit go down?  Is it like a Job-like solution?  I mean with theodicy you can justify all of god’s bullshit, right?  Like oh it must have been for some greater good, says Steve.  Are you asking me for my personal solution or proposed solutions throughout history?  Proposed solutions for this particular story and also yours if you have one.  Honestly I’d rather hear yours than scholars; just overall you seem to have a better vision because you aren’t attached to your opinion of stuff and scholars are, says Steve

(I never address anything in regards to this particular story of David and Bathsheba but instead present a general overview of theodicy)

(I am attached to my own opinions and I quote many scholars and mystics before me)

Alvin Plantinga solved the logical problem of evil, I say.  You might find it interesting although it uses modal logic and is technical.  Since the logical problem is agreed to be solved by most philosophers, there’s been a shift to what’s been called excessive evil in the world.  Even though it’s logically possible for a world with both evil and an omnipotent God, why is there still so much excessive suffering and evil? … I’m going to say there are two routes in this issue.  One route, which Is I think the only way to keep the idea of a traditional theist God intact through evil, is a kind of surrendering.  That is, the evil and morality of God itself is a kind of intense mystery that is beyond human comprehension and to try to explain it is all to misunderstand the Divine.  Theodicy here becomes a kind of bogus or fruitless event.  It is definitely in line with Yahweh's response to Job at the end of the Book of Job:  Hey if you know everything, tell me about the impossible.

My personal response is one I have been developing for a long time.  It is a heretical response that borrows from gnosticisms, Lurianic Kabbalah, Philip K. Dick and CG Jung, as well as Rene Girard and Slavoj Zizek…     Isaiah 45:7 makes a curious statement.  It says, I Yahweh, make good and evil.  Evil originates from Yahweh itself.  In Lurianic Kabbalah, during the contraction of the Absolute to make room during the creation, a whole process happens where Ein Sof’s light emanates.  Something called the Shatter of the Vessels happens, where the receptacles of the emanation of light break and the light falls into the abyss

The vessels break because of an overwhelming of din, judgment

In Luria’s conception, evil resides within the creative process itself.  It is the tension of forces within the Godhead allowing creation.  The heretic Nathan of Gaze goes further positing there are lights called thoughtless lights that struggle against thoughfull lights within the Godhead that want to prevent creation from taking place (Yeah, that’s what I want to hear, says Steve.  I’m all about Ben heresies; they have brought me closer to god and kept me sober.  Like you’re a prophet with exactly one half-insane disciple, says Steve).  Nathan of Gaza said the Messiah himself must even apostatize and go to the depths of hell to redeem the most fallen sparks including the husk of Jesus Christ…

My own conception borrows something from that (I’m going to describe my religion as Bennonite, says Steve)

I think there is something incomplete about Yahweh.  The Yahweh who creates good and evil, who is fully divine, omnipotent, omniscient, does lack something: he lacks the human.  During the Book of Job, eh goes on a tirade against Job you know.  But at the end of the book, Yahweh says something interesting: He says to Job’s friends, you have not spoken rightly of me like Job has.  I think Yahweh recognizes it lacks the human within.  The kenosis and incarnation of Jesus Christ is not only to redeem – whatever that means – humanity but to redeem the Godhead.  By the godhead becoming fully human, the God will become more God because it is more human.  One aspect of Jesus is he is an archetype not only of a new human but a new God.

One that immerses in qualities of overwhelming mercy, compassion, forgiveness, etc.  And not violence, coercion, genocide.  If you want to go even a step further.  To quote Tori Amos: “God do you need a woman to look after you?”  God the Father lacks the feminine.  The Shekinah is in exile, and it says in Lurianic Kabbalah that we must reunite Shekinah and Yahweh.  Or Sophia and the One in gnosticism.  The Woman and the human complete the Godhead.  The godhead too is in process, I say.


You cannot see me from where I look at myself     I look light     I look light leviathan light our Lady of Lourdes     I look the looking light looking glass gods the table of generations

See swords straight skewers my body scandal     See sea salt her shell sharpens eyes     I look hook lanyards empty eye socket horizon     Her horizon fuses hell hell her: her hell half-circles my eyes closed cycloids     I look looped circles hypercycloids circles roll inside circles Francesca Woodman casts hexagrams     Francesca Woodman haxan photographs halfshades / werewolf shadows

See something other than something but women     See her something her hellish / benjamin haberdasher magician     benjamin bricoleur magician     I juggle look and see, the religionless religion rhizome     I juggle hug closer closer and closer, religionless religion rhizome blues

All religions all laws all books of old: all turn and twist torturous leviathan     All turn tannin tehom tome abyss, this Book tracing the open erotic autoasphyxiation Book of Old, and Stations of the Cross orgasms Stations of the Cross orgasms macrocosm-microcosm / porno Adam Kadmon     Adam Kadmon and John Holes take turns cocks coiled serpent leviathan / gangbang gods sodom and gommorah     Gangbang garbage time sodom and gomorrah her gore cuts Christianity’s garments gut body naked     Christianity gut body naked gut bucket blues (an orgy of terror! Half man half beast all horror     Nobody sleeps in… NIGHTMARE OF THE BLOODY APES plus a cult of the living dead FEAST OF FLESH)

Francesca Woodman FEAST OF FLESH / one last cigarette

I mage itself ignites atonal ethereal     I mage impermanent fire: lightning imago     Lighting imago alef alef aloft leviathan     I mage iron ivory tortoise leaven and I lap leather between the scrolls

Leviathan lattices     Leviathan lion lattices / absurd iceberg lettuce     Leviathan lattices gelatin silver paint on paper

Slow silver leaves     Slower silver leaf frequency     Leviathan cookie cutter clutter (sometimes I clean the living room and I discovered disordered lamb levitation     Sometimes I clean the living room and discover a book on leaf flutter and etiquette)

Her image mystery novel photographs     Her image beehive archive mystery     Novel photographs flash paper pigeons (Sometimes I clean my living room and I puzzle over what is the largest area of a shape that can be maneuvers through a unit-width L-shaped corridor) (Sometimes I dream the sofa constant manifests in the shape of a woman     The human woman and the woman madame web)

I obsess Francesca palm letters liters palm readers / photographs flex floorless rollercoaster inversion     Inversion flat vertigo volumes (The disjunctive metrical and temporal complexity of this movement requires at least one additional conductor)     I obsess oddities Euclid’s algorithm averaging tones ten ton hammer     I obsess odd number rule then odd meters but I always return religion     I return rotten sound religionless religion (this image   this icon   this photograph nude women nude gods)     Often a comedy Christianity, an absurd allocating of local saints to desert discontinuities

I imitate gruppen most often     I copy Anthony Braxton’s Quartet with Marilyn Crispell on piano, Gerry Hemingway on drums, and Mark Dresser on double bass     Unlike Anthony Braxton, I get lost in my own structures, and I write my own adventures underground warped through the looking glass (Keep creating and keeping making even if not known: journey X and extend X two turntables Christina)

I look but not where Francesca Woodman looks     I look skirt ekstensis / Exegesis of Philip K. dick     I look polly pocket and lucy locket lost her pocket

Remember Watching The Storms From The Lifeguard Stand

(More ore rhythm / rhizome ada or ardor     More ore orb repetition / rhizome secret agent     More odd ob scissor syntax / rhizome triage agent revolver ocelot)

I sling stone zerg stall zebra / Anthony Braxton’s ZIM music a glider airplane that circles in a downward and / or upward spiral     I sling stone polynomial zeros quintic quintessence zebra / I can use the ZIM musics with respect to narrative structure and storytelling, and I can use ZIM music in the third degree as a probe into the unknown spaces, the hidden space

Sling stone strops forehead bevel Goliath Yahweh     Bevel bezel turns son of a submariner aqua green granite seaweed / kelp woman cargo     Kelp woman cargo cult     Kelp woman cargo cult hot cross buns alto gasoline alchemy     Aline alchemy other stone sound tones / not a tonic but a tower

Not a tonic but a tower, Taryn atonality then threni Taryn pantonality     Taryn then hen to pan      I pan gold other stone sting     Scorpion sting stone kronos-kryptos-krystal

Not a tonic but a flat tower tower rises the nonrise anarchy     Flat tower not only an erection but an orgasm     Penis pussy prayer play     Tower tags vision vandalism votive vision and it flattens moat float fenrir flesh / anarchic wolf woman     Wolf wulf wolfen woman aether anarchy     Aether anarchy arche: arche-grammar and arche-glamour glimpses ghost-gods god-ghosts

Aether earthquake earache exhale arche     Exhale arche anarchy Yahweh of Armies   Yahweh of Armies   Yahweh of Hosts   Yahweh Sabaoth     Yahweh Sabaoth Sabbatai Sevi saturn rings red stone alchemical still

Always aether aleph other ordum w-angles aether always     always already alphabet / agoraphobic alphabet     Agoraphobic nosebleed alphabet bionic automobile grindcore     Grindcore cock calisthenics / kinetic Christianity

I sling stellar stones kickboxer Christianity and I bob-and-weave Goliath Yahweh     My flesh feints stoned stinkbug boxing     Kickboxer Christianity blasts birch bugs magick schoolbus     I bus black hole hades     I bus black hole large hadron collider     Collider corridor celluloid citadel     Collider corridor coffin     Coffin coffers coptic codexes composing Nag Hammadi

I think in texts sling stone Christ’s cow stomach cathedral     I think texts tarantula tree trade trunks two rhythms and two networks

Barricade barrios book burros     Barricade barracuda barrios book burros black breath     Black breath paintbrush book tongue glue     Tongue glue god georgia / Christianity sticks to my holy ghost scorched skeleton     Christianity sticks to my holy ghost gasoline trench skeleton and I shotgun oily napalm god glue gold georgia on my mind

I pause

I pause then plunge into play

Her play pauses     (Her play pauses then plunges the descent ascends) (Descent ascends and ascent descends)

I pause then plunge into play     Psalm prayer     Psalm prayer play     Psalm silver mystery the wings of a dove covered with silver its pinion with green gold     The dove wings silk silver, its pine pinions with green gold    When El Shaddai scattered kings there, snow fell on Zalmon     Zalmon zero zebra     salmon zero zebra casino zone

Certain psalms new directions     Certain psalms run the voodoo down     (Performing these kinds of long musical suites without breaks allowed more space for improvisations in concert)

Psalms sling spanish key suites / I sing psalms sweet pea suites     Psalms sling swerve stone swivels wheel on wheel / wheel sister sorcerer     Psalm song crib concrete     Psalm song crib circus     Circus sorcery

Sounds only     No meaning in the words, or no meaning by translation into other words, but it functions     The meaning contained compels contrails in how it functions

I function flesh fire: fire sound syntax rhythm     rhythm rubble texture     rhythm circular ruins texture

function flesh fire forceps: fire forces forceps fight fire with fire     With fire woman sound syntax rhythm     Rhythm rat king Christina alchemy     Alchemy chemas sound string landscape phonoscope skating rink rhythm

Cobra khora chem Krystal: Krystal rhythm

(At one point, he decided to have TWO drummers in his group     He went on to add TWO bass players for a recording     I asked him why     Because, he said, I want more of the sense of the expansion of time)

Time two and time thick time     Trickster time rhythm     Trickster time rhythms     Two drummers downward desert dream     Two dreams two drummers two basses doubled dopperganger gods     Time two and time twice time trickster time rhythm

Rubber rhythm round time     Time round ribbon string circle / recall time reminder rhythm     a hammock     a sling     a hammock a sling slingshot cot     sling snot cot Yahweh’s cock     Phallic time floating time fights time forking doubles fugitive     Fugitive time fugato flesh flow fugue / aether amnesia     aether amnesia amethyst     Aether author amnesia / antique architects     Antique architects antipsychotics     anticholingeric apocalypses

I decide two: twin primes Taryn play     I desert two: twin primes times Taryn play     Play tumbles tremors times stone     Two stones striker pin play psalm pinion / pinions with green gold     gold green feather gallons glue gods     horse glue and gorilla glue hell hooves    hell hooves hedge and Yahweh stretches out his hand broiled boiled boils body

I decide two tenor saxophones spiral serpents stupor     Serpent sheets of sound supernatural snake seed / mixed multitude mergers     merger emerger eschaton emergence / eyeball emergencies

Expand time     Expand extend time tittle an iota iamb lamb     Expand time liminal lamb a little light sheets of sound     Sheets of sound similar light     Sheets of sound similar light similar fire fog biofilm     biofilm folds sheets of sound flourish / fire shaker rhythms     I upravel mystery into mystery / sheets of sound sardines      I cut up mystery into mystery / sheets of sound swordfish

Triangles And Russian Icons

I come to as to the coming of our lord Jesus Christ     I come to catholic children of men and to the coming of our lord Jesus Christ and I contact the canonical hours all the waves and cataracts (Psalm 42 in Les Tres Riches Heures du doc de Berry, Folio 970, with an illustration of a drinking hart)

(I return to the Psalms in an arranged manner, through the Book of Common Prayer and through St. Benedict’s arrangement of the Psalter for the hours; deep calls to my deep, and its chasm calls to my chasm, and its chaos calls to my chaos, and I dwell chaoses     I dwell divine waters and dark waters and desert waters)

I return Psalms Psalms Parousia and Christ’s Advent argues anamorphic stretch transform     Advent argues ashes Adam Kadmon an anamorphic stretch transform a mathematical transformation in which analog or digital data stretches and warps in a context-aware manner, resulting in nonuniform fourier domain sampling)

(I attempt to compress Psalms Palms Parousia in a lossy image and audio signal, and my anatomy arranges Christina apocalypse as abomination / Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, 1931, deleted scenes)

Parousia pursues pulse a love supreme / Palm Tree Garden     Parousia pursues silver streetcar for the orchestra for amplified solo triangle, and I dampen the triangle with my thumb and forefinger on one hand, while tapping with the other hand / I tape tape Taryn Palm Tree Garden

I amplify triangle my anatomy, hand in hell, and I perform the moving of geological locations formations fracturings and I reveal the acoustic characteristics of the folded bar material     I immediately arrive Gospel of Mark arachnid apparitions, and Anthony Braxton in wilderness explains triangle to me:  And so when I decided to create the Ghost Trance Music I found myself thinking, I’m sick of having now the improvisational mutable logics – the circle – what I’ve been doing was having the circle identity and then put the square inside the circle – then I put the triangle inside the square…

I never know what Anthony Braxton talks about but I know what Anthony Braxton talks about     He speaks to my immersion (bell bridal baptism) into music, mathematics, and mythology, and I write pseudomusic, pseudomathematics, and pseudomythology     I conduct chymistry a charlatan for christ

I never know what Anthony Braxton talks about but I know what Anthony Braxton talks about and triangle ties Taryn Tannin Tower / Towers triangulates Towers, trauma within the Christian Trinity

Then I put the triangle inside the square and square squeezes triangle, tome tempered as Tower, and I always-already write Tower as Babel Babylon Babalon and unconsciously attempt a whole earth one language the same words / Adamic language or language of birds or music of the spheres / Alvin Lucier lingua ignota     Ornette Coleman writes sound grammar resonates and celebrates universal ultra combo and ultimate combo / I sound track we are controlling transmission     I control sampling turntablism and I beat juggle jazz gods and gods gemini     Her horns gore gruesome jazz, babel as billet tetsuo the bullet man benjamin

My body hammers babel body hammer body horror

I timbre rotary telephone triangle, and she strikes Castlevania’s clock tower, medusa-bricked babel     I come upon the plain of Shinar and my gnosis transforms me into Nimrod, a mighty hunter before Yahweh     My vaudeville vision vocalises solfege holy spirit and sediment of the original language sometimes spats out sputum and blood into my Book / the language of Lon Chaney’s Phantom of the Opera makeup and I pull my nostrils back with thin wire (truncated elephant’s trunk)

I timbre red sequoia timbers second thessolonians and the Perhaps Paul writes Taryn traffics triangle sizzles noisemaker spritzers and the water sprinklers fuzz fire frankenstein’s monster

I timbre red sea sea of reeds Yam Suph supper Yahweh and I write pseudepigraphia aporias, the strange eschatology of second thessolonians

No, this dead end no outlet and I write no highway no freeway but I frequently fire-anodize the flesh     This assemblage as bone folder forges furnace fission and in particle accelerators, I collide babel, eschaton, and parousia, and I find this juxtapositions or transformations-into-rotations stretches Benjamin-As-Juggler or Benjamin-As-Alchemist, and I often fail in my experiments     I fail in my experiments: I light the fire again and again, and my babel bursts blocked breath and bricked breath / medusa-head benjamin

My breath beats on the brat babel

My breath beats on the brat babel, my babel blonde language as rhizomatically one and I paradoxically resist the one     Deleuze and Guatarri in A Thousand Plateaus criticize the modernist book as a fragmentation or a fractal root system that nevertheless appeals to a higher unity or the one: a strange mystification, they write, a book all the more total for being fragmented… (I realize I cannot truly become multiple and stay multiple without leaving behind the higher monism of mystical Christianity     No matter how negative or apophatic, that process or theopoetic Godhead resembles and imagines as One…     I do not abandon Christianity lest I become even more haunted by Yahweh but I write and prophesy the Impossible: the truly rhizomatic Godhead, the truly rhizomatic Church, the truly rhizomatic Book baptized in haunted Christianity, Christianity truly haunted by Holy Ghost and Holy Ghosts) (John D. Caputo’s – magically and mystically stealing from Jacques Derrida – Religion without Religion, God as Event and Sacred Name calling out to the impossible passion, a passion for the passion – Yes, I prophesy the rhizomatic impossible)

I fail in my babel, a boiling afterbirth of languages, laughters, lights: I continue to prophesy my failures and dead ends

The Prophet too babels

The prophet babels shaman Nurse Healer Artist and Benjamin Bard gives poetic blowjobs to a transsexual Babylon / Scarlet Woman wets my weeping wounds

Cush Christina fathers me as Nimrod, the first on earth as a mighty hunter

The bard decorates the walls with notes underneath long titles jokingly providing instructions for achieving the intended tempo for each track: must pop valium for this cue; must take crank for this one     God told me to skin you alive and I hide different images underneath your flesh: a naked woman, three faeries, and several ghostly faces in the flames     The collage coheres as chaotic Christianity     The collage coheres as Christianity Compete / I paste different depictions of Jesus from magazine cut-outs over a dead malls no more anchor stores

I listen to the record Nimrod by Green Day and despite loving pop-punk, I’ve never deeply listened to Green Day     I explore their catalog and read the backgrounds of the productions and songwriting and I feel amused by accusations of selling out (The most appropriate response to selling out is perhaps Tool’s Hooker With A Penis)     Fuck authenticity: everything I encounter and everything that passes through me auto-authenticates     Everything I encounter and everything I experience auto-authenticates autoerotic asphyxiation (what happens on the road always comes home / sometimes selling out is waking up)

(I write too dependently on the Bible and my other go-to scriptures like Nag Hammadi     I need to take more risks, be less comfortable, and write more pop-punk and punk-rock)

(We take ourselves too seriously     We sneak as many politics as we can     But who will be the last to realize that sometimes selling out is waking up)

I take myself too seriously and I quote scriptures wild woman fauvist fire / I do not want the Book to become a dissected cadaver     Hey Benjamin, you can edit and cut – you don’t have to leave everything in     I know, but I want to leave in – I need to make bad paintings too and in one of Jenna Marbles videos – perhaps the one where she turned 29 or 30 – she reflected that a messy house means a lived-in house, a housed animated and inhabited by human beings – I want an animated book, a messy lived-in Book, with enough space to play and jump through

I need less (conventional and comfortable) scripture and more verbolten vision and scripture that splits-spirals poiesis porneia polemics and perhaps some parousia too: parousia that witnesses Woman Wounds, Towers Trauma, Body Horror Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Whorl Woman arranges argonauts into allosaurus and alice soma leaves     leaves sepals     leaves petals     leaves stamens     leaves carpals and caterpillars dis carpal tunnels into my wrists wretched writing / I demand an exorcist!     I demand an exorcism!     Something in the opening opening radial rabbits and radian russian icons, and Andre Rublev slow paints temple snow no scaffolding but holy spirit     Something in the opening radically opens radial rabbits abyss androgynous, and my alchemy agonizes in the conjuring Crucifixion of Christ

We will go to the Trinity Monastery, and you will make bells and I will paint icons

We will go to the Trinity Monastery, and you will make bells and I will paint icons (two traditions combined: the highest asceticism and the classic harmony of byzantine mannerism

My icon ignites igneous fire, keystone and cornerstone conflagration / I flute flesh forest fire and red robbin rabbits run spell smoke chariot spokes spear fishers of men     My icons malchut moloch Christ caricatures and merkabah mysticism measures milk fire magnesium     Merkabah mysticism cremates myth and music and color antiphonal choirs     I do not synchronize the musics but they stream simultaneous     I do not synchronize the musics but they stream simultaneous subterranean, choirs cloistered in caverns

You make bells and I will paint icons

Multitudes of I Contain Multitudes

An interesting element of Papyrus 115:  It writes the number of the beast in Revelation 13:18 as 616, chi-iota-stigma, rather than the majority reading of 666, Chi-xi stigma, as does the Codex Ephraemi Resriptus

Six seduces and I contact six connections to a heretical sabbath and Sabbatai Sevi     I contact contacts six saturn sabbath sabbatai     Sixth planet saturn planes day seven sabbath / saturday saturn mixed marriage and mixed multitude in sixs and sevens sex     I study sabbath and six, six beasts and six numbers sabbatai sevi and the witches’ sabbath, and I create myths weaving car traffic tabernacles / I tabernacle myself among woman witches myself among women snow in water

Whorl Woman arranges leaves the variety X variety mythologies, mysteries, witches, and sabbaths, and I celebrate sabbaths as woman     I rejoice Sabbaths as Christina the Huntress, and she hunts me Son of Man and Human one, Human Earth Adam

I worship Sabbath as Saturn Woman or the bisexual Sabbath Sevi uniting writing Yahweh Shekinah     I worship Sabbath as the Woman Before The Sabbath and The Woman Who Was Before Sabbath Existence, and she stirs the waters way spirits     She skims the waters spirits in many skirts and miniskirts and I wear a monokini when immersing in abyss (For occasionally an angel of Yahweh would come down to the pool and stir up the water, and the first one into the pool after each such disturbance would be cured of whatever disease he had) (This verse is lacking in many important manuscripts, including the oldest)

I wait for the movement of the water and whorl woman whips waters into waters nonlinear rogue waves wave rosary olive oil     Whorl woman wrestles waters into waters, and natural nonlinear processes from the random background of smaller waves whisk vertical braze bull veronicas (a merchant ship laboring in heavy seas as a large wave looms ahead, Bay of Biscay, circa 1940)     I wait for the movement of the water and whorl woman arranges waves alcheringa, and off the South African coast, the Agulhas current counters the westerlies

I write the waters and I stir waters ouroboros oceanic     I scribe the waters and speech the water, the waters ox bronze basin orichalum oceanic     I interpret waters both interpolation and interpenetration, the monorail traction of seraphs and cherubim     For an angel went down at a certain season and troubled the water, and Taryn tail ticks tron trains tributary troublings     Taryn tzimtzum simultaneously contracts and floods waters water worm abyss / benjamin breaks the vessels profound play performance visor vision     Woman waters my visions weird water and wyrd water word woman and I worship her word     I worship her word sixes sabbath stickers and troubled waters

The new doesn’t come in: it needs to created… Create the new by doing it… You only need to love the new, and then you will create with it

I love the new and I worship the new     I worship the new and the new arrives as Woman     The new appears Woman and plays with and against Woman, and the Woman sixes skull salvations     Woman, Savior – Woman, Redeemer – she rests rungs of the Ladder Sabbath

I love new and I worship new but I often fear the new     I surround myself with familiar books and comfortable texts and I repeat the text     I copy the text and I expect them to transform me like they did during my initial encounters (What makes scripture truly scripture:  it invokes initial encounters every time, impossibly iterable and traces into the new – but the everyday too has the capacity to contain and embody scripture)     I must truly love the new, eat it, digest it, make my own myths – new myths, new gospels, new scriptures, new kingdoms – then I can birth again with woman, born in water and born from above

In my love of new I search to transform the absence of Yahweh into the real presence of Christianity, the very real

Whorl Woman arranges leaves laughter lighthouse and I horticulture body horror and body garden, gods rhizomes orgasms     I horticulture no-hierarchy but Woman-As-Anarchy and Woman-As-No-Absence-But-Animism (Asia draws the Hierophant and she despises this tarot card, but she interprets for me sacred mysteries and arcane principles)     Woman arranges attacks anarchy the encroachment of my apartment, and she alephs arcane arcanus arceo arca / she arch forms archlengths additions architect esoteric     She archives the arcane and animates it, nardil new, and she arranges the leaves into new jazz standards

I prophesy interstitial human space between improvisation and composition, Anthony Braxton’s geometrical conceptions: circle square triangle embedded in one another representing stable logics (information that is known and unchanging, composition), mutable logics (open and changing, improvisational), and synthetic logics (which draws upon both aspects, intuition)     I do not call it intuitive although intuition exists as a component, but rather I call it visionary     Visions allows me to open and love multilingual many languages at once: the complete work never complete and the performance always in process (I should write more Anthony Braxton: his thought and music have influenced the writing-vision and vision-writing-new) (So much to write     so much to imagine     so much to vision)

She aids, inspires, and multiplies me     I am always-already several and I listen to Bob Dylan’s I Contain Multitudes:  I sing the songs of experience like William Blake / I have no apologies to make / everything’s flowing all at the same time / I live on a boulevard of crime / I drive fast cars and I eat fast foods / I contain multitudes     I contain multitudes and I always write Leaves of Grass     I always rewrite Leaves of Grass and Bob Dylan does an admirable job expressing the mess and contradictions     Walt Whitman states:  Do I contradict myself?  / very well then I contradict myself, / (I am Large, I contain multitudes)     I too express the magnitude of multiplicity, messes, magicians     My contradictions center acentre or center-without-center the contradictions of the Cross     To pick up the Cross daily is to acknowledge the contradictions and multitudes of the Cross

Bob Dylan has long been fascinated by the concept of multiplicity of the self, evident in everything from his fondness to Arthur Rimbaud’s phrase “Je est un autre” (“I is another”), which he said caused bells to go off when he first read it in the 1960s, to the lyrics of his Rastafarian-influenced 1983 song “I and I”…     I have not read Arthur Rimbaud despite his influence on Bob Dylan and Patti Smith     I have not read Author Rimbaud despite owning his complete works in paperback – I have too many books I haven’t read (Jacques Derrida, when asked if he read all the books in his large library, responded he only read four books, but that he had read them very well) (Umberto Eco said:  It is not indispensable to read a book – its’ enough to touch it and by a mysterious fluid you absorb it…)     I absorb the works of Bob Dylan via auditory osmosis and ouroboros opens everywhere     Ouroboros opens absolute abyss world woman and word woman and she too rains rhizomes     Rhizomes rotate repeated reconnaissance (To reach, not the point where one longer says I, but the point where it is no longer any importance whether one says I, write the sources of Anti-Oedipus and A Thousand Plateaus) (bob Dylan says in a 1997 interview promoting Time Out Of Mind:  I change during the course of a day.  I wake and I’m one person, and when I go to sleep I know for certain I’m somebody else.  I don’t know who I am most of the time.  It doesn't even matter to me...)

My I rhizomes I     My I rhizomes I repeated reactions all the difference difference the non-diophantine desert and the desert uncountable by diagonal argument     My I rhizomes I Bob Dylan plays reggae rock, the songs lyrics often interpreted as an auto-commentary on the dichotomy between Dylan's’ private and public selves…     I joke with Asia that I have surrendered to the idea of constant surveillance by the FBI / CIA / NSA and now I want to become the most documented human being in history (contemporary technology makes this possible)     I was half-kidding but an unconscious goal of the book invokes the dissolution of the private and public self: what emerges is a prophetic self, a prophetic multiplicity or rhizome ritual vitality rhizome maps the impossibility of Yahweh and the Cross and the Woman (Something like:  the act of living or every gesture of living becomes an act of prophecy and gesture of prophecy     I engage with prophecy as a perpetual performance art     I write to document this prophecy-in-art     I live my rhizome and multiplicity radically open     I live the entirety of my prophetic-performance publicly

I write to live and I live to prophesy
I write my life and my life prophesies

How does my writing about God and KRYSXTRYN make people’s lives better? I ask Christina.  If at all.  It’s a delayed effect for humanity, says C.  But it has positive effects on you.  And you’re important.  Without you the work doesn’t get done.  What’s the delay effect on humanity?  Truth     Revelation     Aesthetic Value.  I have been thinking about what difference in make in times like these.  What difference do you want to make?  I was thinking, what’s the use of my life in times like these?  I don’t have the power to do anything.  I feel like what I do most – writing and art – is not useful in times of conflict, I say.  Artists, writers, historians, prophets NECESSARILY have their impact after, says C.  Your job right now is to take the measure of everything.  You’ll need it later and we will need your work.  I will do my best, I say.

Whorl Woman arranges leaves sepals petals stamens carpals and her radial rabbits research short wave radios and crystal radios (Swedish crystal radio from 1922 made by Radiola, with earphones.  The device at top the radio’s cat’s whisker detector)     Her rabbit rebounds drum rudiments, perhaps hertas or swiss army triplets, and the ensemble resembles short wave or crystal radios (1970s-era Arrow Crystal Radio marketed to children.  The earphone is on the left.  The Antenna wire, right, has a clip to attach to metal objects such as a bed spring, which serve as an additional antenna to improve reception)     I receive rabbits raspberries and rabbits resurrection my body a tarot card reshuffle, and my body rivers rhizomes erratic estuary     My body rivers rhizomes rabbits, and I sit in the chariot     I sit in the chariot and two sphinxes pull chariot charis pandemonium (the whole lobby a perfect pandemonium and the din terrific)

I sit in the chariot six-six-six and sphinxes scare sacrosanct / I have visions in zebra’s vestments     Radial rabbits trace radians summer circles and I want to remember more mathematics     I study mathematics again and I mix it with myth and music, a Christina and Christ cocktail     Radial rabbits rally radians sempiternal circles (an arc of a circle with the same length as the radius of that circle subtends an angle of 1 radian     The circumference subtends an angle of 2π radians)     Rabbits rampage raging bull circles and the rings route extended range and domain

You should try fiddling with it.  Is that want you want me to do?  Cannibalize your poems?  It could be fun.  Maybe then you can cannibalize the poems that I cannibalized.  I don’t understand a lot of my own writing either so you shouldn’t feel too bad about that.  I just write to stay alive – that’s all.  I want to share my aliveness with you.  The alternative to not write is death.  I have next week off – if you’d like, I think it would be fun to steal some of your writing.  You have permission to steal any writing, past, present, future…  Another idea:  we start with the same beginning sentence and we each write a paragraph based on that sentence.  Let’s do it.

I reread the beginning of Bunnies For Christina, and although bunnies differ from rabbits (I follow Christina’s exacting definitions), her bunnies rubberband radial rabbits rat king tangled tails Toulouse-Latrec / painted posters for Christina’s Moulin Rouge (Divan Japonais, 1892-93, canyon, brush, splatter, and transferred screen lithographic, painted in 4 color-layers)     I write with dark blue canyon, perhaps the blurple G10 of Spyderco knives utilizing S110V steel, and I will crayon often     I sometimes color oil pastels but these pastels do not evoke the rabbit nostalgia of the wax crayon (wax crayon woman and wax crayon Christina, and the wax mops wheel on wheel and wheel within wheel, and the canyon maps chariot merkabah the Taryn throne throat god)     I crayon and brush blue bronze bunnies, and the bunnies brush splatter spill midnight bunnies, and midnight bunnies run wakes in the field / Taylor Swift’s Midnights     Any writing advice you have for me?  Steal, says Asia.  What should I steal?  A style very different from your own.  Take a piece as a starting point and continue it.  Something from the new Taylor Swift album?  Do it, says Rainey.  Taylor Swift’s Midnights migrate moon monarchs midnight bunnies, and I crayon claws Christina tiny platypus claws one of the few venomous mammals

I Wrestle Writing and Noise

I stop taking my medication     I dream self-destruction or deconstruction fails in its hairpin overturning     Friendships fail or I plant seventy explosives napoleon blown apart and I start a land war in Russian but I approach my own total war and scorched earth / I battle my body total war and scorched earth     My body merely whips wisps a ghost story (It leapt upon him in an instant.  Illustration by James McBoyle for M.R Jamis story “Oh, Whistle, and I’ll Come to You, My Lad.”)     I whistle ghost werewolf woman and wolf walks the wake of my footprints / I’ve got to keep moving I’ve got to keep moving blues falling down like hail, and the days keeps on worrying me, there’s a hellhound on my trail, hellhound on my trail, hellhound on my trail…     Hellhound haskins hyperousias and the black dog degrades decays corpse flower corsage fiction corpse serpent

There is no reference without difference, with difference, without the operations of textuality, differential spacing, and contextuality

I live reside text, I sleep context, the difference and difference diverge separating my limbs tied to four horses and then maybe four elephants     Text tumbles acrobat arkansas stone queer quadrapeds     Text tightrope walks between the wolf and woman, and text tracks paths makas traces / specter spell mayhem and the word riots     The Word crucifies nad my body bloats difference     My flesh consumes fugu tetrododoxin or tetragrammaton   

I listen to Black Vomit by Anthony Braxton and Wolf Eyes     I need more noise     I need more noise and I rustle metal constructions     I brush noise tile tildon tourist trap but the geyser gallops run ruin horse races / the kentucky derby is decadent and depraved     I need noise gonzo journalism molotov cocktail and noise stews smoke and I set off the fire always cooking pasta with a faulty burner     I should learn SuperCollidor even though I failed to learn before – I was too impatient – I have to take my time to learn the language

I’ve always admired the great work of Walt Disney and the idea of the theme park, says Anthony Braxton.  And so I’ve tried to, in my work, develop a music system, to develop a theme park system where theory can jump off the blackboard into real life, says Mr. Braxton     I don’t feel familiar with Walt Disney's work but of course I grew up watching Disney movies and one time I attended Disneyland as a child but I have few memories of it (I now always associate Disneyland with Christina)

Fuck forget it I can’t write but if I stop writing, I die     I will write nonsense and I will write process     I embrace my ugly and non-beauty and I write the ugly and nonbeauty, my own writing body     My writing body writes to survive     Writing rummages rampage survival money jungle and I spit fire in my mouth     I fuck with fire writing and the fire fuss with Star Fox and the FX chip / awesome low resolution polygons     Polygons play the secret final boss, a giant slot machine and an arrangement of When The saints jams peanut butter and jelly sandwiches     I need noise performance and video, and I write veronica valerie vekoma suspended looping coaster and the restraints headbang heavy metal     I want to listen to more Paul Desmond, more Warne Marsh, more Lee Konitz     I read the liner notes to the Anthony Braxton and Evan Parker duets in 1993, and the author compares the duets as an avant-garde version of the West Coast jazz saxophonists like Warne Marsh and Lee Konitz, and Anthony Braxton has cited their playing along with Paul Desmond as inspiration (Well, I’d say Paul, Coltrane, and Warne Marsh would put their stamp on me deeper than any other instrumentalists, says Braxton in his 1985 interview with Graham Lock)

The Empire will not win if the secret Christians continue to prophesy the secret message and secret gospel, I say to Christina.  If they stop transmitting the message writing and prophecy, the empire will have won.  Philip K. dick said the Empire Never Ended.  Also about how we are all secretly trapped in the black iron prison without knowing it.  I feel the empire is winning.  Humanity is doomed or something apocalyptic.  I’m not doing enough.  I need to write more.  I need to read more.  I need to learn more.  I need to make art.  This will destroy the empire and the black iron prison.  To transmit the secret gospel…  

I need to listen better and quieter     I want to write the sound kitchen sink dripping microscopic deluge or the deluge microcosm orgasm     I listen to Albert Ayler and Taku Sugimoto and I somehow think or write these worlds co-exist     They happen simultaneously they occur all-time and I like these sounds     He initially gained attention in the late 1990s for his restrained, melodic playing, unusual in the world of free improvisation / I cannot restrain my free improvisation     I need noise / I write wild abandon     I write to survive and I write wild abandon abbadon abyss

Sounds like a high voltage metamorphosis of snow with inverted time waves
Sounds like a biomechanical organism having described it could fart for the first time

Around 2002 his music became increasingly abstract, all but eliminating melody and featuring extended periods of silence / I eliminate nothing band I eliminate everything (Word Water Word Woman     Silence sequences god’s semen     Silence sulfurs slaughterhouse and silence squeezes the tarantula shuttle     Sometimes I like silence and silence sustains surplus and the surplus suggests secret silence secret gnosis     Gnosis nurses noise and the silence at once twice duet doppelgangers

Listen to everybody so you know what not to play

I listen to everybody and I obsess sound language and I search for sound language word / Word Woman    Language laughs the mysteries and the mysterion myo munnae maverick the Cult of Christina / I work in mystery and through mystery     I work in mystery and through mystery metaroad and metamotion     I work in mystery multiplicity and mixes multitude, and the serpent summas salt     I salt my salmon and I cook mysterium eschaton chesed eleven echoes of autumn

Listen to everybody to know what not to play

I listen Here Comes Everybody and Anna Livia Plurabelle, and I write optima olefin     I write osprey oddball and everybody oddballs the shy giant octopus

I go to Monterey Bay Aquarium and the Giant Octopus shies away from visitors

Who would win in a fight, the Cambrian Explosion or the Ordovician Radiation?

The Animal arias archi-writing, this writing mimicking both that awful rowing toward god and I sing the body electric, and I watch episode 100 of the Twilight Zone I Sing The Body Electric written by Ray Bradbury     I sing the body electric and my body folds paper airplanes or assembles electric motorboats as the remote control chases channels / so gather the sheep and the herd joys jehovah     I sing the body electric and I modify my body four elements / all halo alchemy

Absence of the writer too.  For to write is to draw back.  Not to retire into one’s tent, in order to write, but to draw back from one’s writing itself

Absence cuts into absence new absence     Absence cuts chaos trick clay cloud of unknowing and I write darkness in darkness     I write dark damsel in distress tied to railroad tracks but Christina rescues me     I write absence into the cut, grass clippings from a manual lawnmower, and the mulch machines alchemical mercury / the lawnmower destroys the zombie balloon and I trip over blood and decaying body parts     The absence in atoms Anthony Braxton’s For Alto and alto armies arche     Written romps play archi-writing and the archi-writing too writes rope Hanged Man Son of Man     However, felling that his skills on piano were inadequate, he decided to create a particular language for the saxophone

Absence anvils aporia, the knot knotted tenor saxophone and my solo sticks cellophane or saran wrap surgery (I close up my guts with plastic wrappers and bubblegum)     Absence gog and magogs aporia and I play an unaccompanied tenor saxophone solo and the improvisation transmits the secret signals: four gospels and four hundred gospels, and every 144,0000 writes a different but complementary gospel / Christ camelbacks many contradictions

The Woman Of The Snow Wordsmiths Sleet

The Woman of the Snow     

The Woman of the Snow wordsmiths sleets

The Woman of the Snow wordsmiths sleet street ice serpent ice pink protoplasm woman     The Woman in the Snow weapons winged winter, and the snow solidifies into sword     Sword severs sword the ice swamp and the mutant alligators hibernate hole hail hale hell, snow rivers     Yahweh yuki-onna yards yeast fertilizing snow, and snow grows god grafts gemini, twin gunners and twin ghosts twin runners, and Yahweh runs quarter-tones Rose of Sharon     I rarely see snow; it does not snow here although it snowed once when I was in seventh grade, and the snow crinkled compact snowballs, and I listen to Minus The Bear’s Hooray     I listen to Minus The Bear’s Hooray: it’s cold and snow’s actually on the ground of this no-snow town… I listen to Botch and Minus the Bear and I music nostalgia name new star tetragrammaton     I music nostalgic nebula namco cyberstation, and God cabinets Galaga, Galaxian, and Pole Position, and my sister snow woman pairs electric dance dance revolution     Fuck I feel old victorian ghost stories or gothic castle fiction     I age armor amour around and it all ghosts gambit galvatron god, and I imagine God voiced by Orson Welles     God’s voice vellums hallucinogenic vapors and I dream I drive a Bugatti Veyron and Rush’s Red Barchetta plays via cassette tape / I often feel camp meeting dystopia     I write with and against threshold and heterotopia, ritual and gehenna, and the valley of the son of hinnom hymns gnosis and revelation / exile and redemption

Snowfall floats woman phosphorus filaments     Snowfall frosts forest woman, owls osos ouroboros     Krystal Kwaiden kisses koros and kairos, and her time ghost times messianic time     I approach the messianic soul spark and the adamic soul spark through Christ Jesus     Sabbatai Sevi     Christian Marie     the Messiah apostatizes with ghost crucifixions and snow women     The Messiah dons the Cross and the Turban, and Christina completes the profanation or woman wounding     Krystal Kwaiden builds kurgans and she writes records proto-indo-european language     My language loops ghost deities     My language loons ghost deities lune lume cellar dollar Something by Julien Baker     I listen to Something by Julien Baker in the dark and dark shines my language music mushrooms emmet emet entheogens

Everything ghosts, I suppose     Everything haunts, I think and I think too often too much and I miss Megan, Meghan, Taylor, Elaine… She blows her breath upon me

I decided it’s time to create a vocabulary, a syntax for solo saxophone.  This would allow me to have a solo music.

My vocabulary vores venous return and saturn return, and I search for Sabbatai Sevi in the constellations     Star saturn Sabbatai Sabbath plays Sun Ra records or cassette tapes on the boom box, and space is indeed the place     Space is the place and I miss playing solo tenor saxophone and I’ve always wanted to make something as a landmark as for Alto     My vocabulary ties twine Taryn triangle, and I accumulate language image music     I bricoleur Arkestra Alice Accretion, vortex volume vocabulary     I bricoleur Arkestra Alice Accretion, and the collection column wheel chronograph engulfs my vocabulary / vocabulary volume vortex     I miss solo tenor saxophone and I used to drone a B or Bb fundamental and layer multiphonics and alternate finger trills through the octave on top; I’ve always attempted a kind of multiplicity and simultaneousness

I decided to create a vocabulary, a syntax, for solo saxophone.  This would allow me to have a solo music.

I write the Book more often as an orchestra, as Gruppen or Music for Three Symphonies or Symphony for Three Orchestras or For Four Orchestras, but perhaps I need to create a solo Book musics and a solo Book vocabularies (what would a solo Book look like, considering the Book always-already dialogics heteroglossia?)     Nevertheless, I meditate on the solo, the sink the cellar door, and the long sound and accented long sound simplex spirit complex matrices

Alto saxophone amens Aleph and the Amen orcs aurora     The Amen orcs amulet ankh Asia and I worship the Sun     I worship Solar Woman and her solar flares flurry fury foam flowers     Alto saxophone autocannibalizes cephalic carnage and the gore gums God gizzards Texas Chain Saw Massacre     I speak alto and I sing alto and I play Contra with the Konami Code     The alto sexual assassin spies mutually assured destruction and I deconstruct myself in my solo saxophone inventions     I salix solo and the saxophone sighs similar serpents / tenor torso Taryn     Like Johann Sebastian Bach and Duke Ellington, I wanted to build from improvisation, using mutable logics to better understand identity, says Anthony Braxton     Writing for me involves from its interior process and improvisation / process and reality / unrreal real and the impossible real     I muse continually improvise the greater risk, and I admit sometimes I do not risk at all: I fear mistakes, I fear ugliness, I fear incompetence     I read a story that Keith Rowe every several years – maybe 5-10 years – would completely change his tabletop guitar setup and he would have to completely relearn how he made music     It would sound unfamiliar and sometimes ugly, but once he figured out the setup, he was able to create a new music that he was unable to create before    The risk rams riverrun circular ruins, and if I left off dreaming of her… Anyway she dreams me

I’m afraid of my own writing, I say.  I’m afraid of breaking my own rules, standards, and boundaries.  Why are you afraid of breaking them? says Asia.  Afraid of making mistakes or wasting paper or something.  Bruh, editing is writing.  It’s OK to make a mistake.  Yeah but I don't like using up paper.  Use cheaper paper! says Asia.

Make mistakes on purpose, or explore the mistake: the old jazz adage, repeat the mistake twice (so it sounds intentional)

The solo music is a kind of seed, where I test and evolve specific vocabularies as an improviser in a mutable, real time, three dimensional space, says Anthony Braxton     Look at the Book less as a finished library or canon or more like a laboratory or studio space to experiment     Experimentation excites and elans enthusiasmos / imminent radical immanence     Open the Book to radical exploration and I explore whatever interests me     solo seed slakes salamander music and music polychord chameleon and my multiphonics crays cross music     Cross chymistry seracs seed, Christina corpus curing salt sums and salt column, and the salts sinew seep into all field all female all everything

I feel the force fuck of the Black Iron Prison     The Empire Never Ended     The Empire Never Ended and the Empire eviscerates body body and clays clemen a columbian necktie     Fuck the Empire / The Empire Never Ended and my sweat as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground     I feel my face fucked the Black Iron Prison and prison picks pricks black plague / then I went back in the pool

Suicide haunts     Suicide ghosts     Death desire never leaves, Taryn Thanatos Thanos, and my life radiates real as ring around the roses or corpses conic section books

I watch clips from the television show The Wonder Years and all that nostalgia nuclear annihilates falling snow fallout fallingwaters Woman     My brain boils in comic book cauldrons and television frying pan egg flesh (this is your brain: this is your brain on drugs)     It looks like the hardcover edition of the Exegesis is out of print; I’m glad I bought two copies     My obsessive book collecting habits have finally paid off     The hardcover version of the Exegesis of Philip K. Dick is out of print: the Empire wins     No, the Empire has not won: I still write and I continue writing, and I will always write against the Empire     The black Iron Prison traps me, but I transmit the secret message and secret gospel

The girl was a secret Christian ad so was I.  We lived in fear of detection by the Romans.  We had to communicate with cryptic signs.

I live Christianity encrypted or the Code Christianity, and the Bible’s apparent language only sidewinds surface: its language serpents secret subterranean, secret of secrets and secret upon secrets, the very and true substance     I prophesy and write secret language and serpent language, a ladder for the ladder Krystal Keter lattice