Chase Chaos This Castle

Chase chaos this castle is a creature of chaos / chase chaos with beginning Book created Elohim

Chase in the beginning and with beginning
From mist, chaos
From mist and chaos, night
In night, I mingle their waters together

In night I mingle their waters together and I mingle Tigris and Euphrates

In night, I chase chaos mingled Tigris waters and Euphrates waters

Let us make demons and the gods assembled within her

Chase my body chaos transfigured Ben Lydia and Benjamin Ariadne. Ben body shakes no limit transfigures figure KRYSXTRYN with Just My Imagination by The Temptations serenading landscapes. My body naked music – skeleton harmony with gallop rhythm – no limit makes names experiments excess. Body takes no limit making chaoses. My body chaos transforms my labyrinthine name into magic alchemy. Alchemical Ariadne <myths Christina narrative>. Anarchic Ariadne will <continually, make, shape, manufacture.>

//
Chase chaos. Experiment. Fail into beginning and with beginning, chaotic failure.

I fear the Book. I write and rewrite I fear the Book. Fear of failure – imperfections – messes – incomprehensible to any reader.

Chase mistakes and write rewrite distractions. Even God wrote and rewrote creations: “From here, we learn that the Holy One blessed by continually created worlds and destroyed them, until he created the current ones and said: This one pleases me, those did not please me.” (Bereshit Rabbah 9:2)

Not mistakes but creating and destroying in the chasing chaos

Three years later, the coffee was still full of jello

We should play with legos at camp

I still like Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood especially the final confrontation between Tina and Jason because it’s silly awesome

Today I bought a rain coat and wore it on a Sunday

Lost lighthouse suspicious videotape film noir roadrunner lost highway suspicious Videotape film noir suspicious videotape film noir roadrunner

Dick Laurent is dead

I let my anterior accompany me as a tool, and a guardian, and as a protector

I sleep in the echo of the dream and the red hue of the dream

No difference between the mushroom and the coffin full of jello

Revisionist western
//

Chase chaos – chaos kelp kept

When Elohim began to create the heaven and the earth, the earth was complete chaos and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from Elohim swept over the face of the waters.

Chase chaos / from mist, chaos Chase chaos / He face of the heavens and the heavens and the face of the heavens and darkness complete chaos Chase chaos / <creation myths Christina narrative>

Let us make demons and the gods an ensemble within her

I make demons and they accompany desert deities. Gods assemble in Christina collage and assemblages, and Christina sets up a host to bring above conflict. I make demons all resembling Christina and her face clues demon collages.

I make demons and they accompany me <creation myths Christina narrative>. Make <creation myths> the face of the waters complete chaos and darkness complete chaos and the face of the heavens Christina. Gods assemble in Christina desert and <Christina couple down the road from the Books>. Couple down the road chase chaos.

Like yesterday I came home from work and my partner wanted me to check out something weird on a tree in our backyard, says Asia. It was a bunch of webs filled with tiny caterpillars. And on one of the webbed branches was a wasp, trying to get the treasure inside. Out of the chaos of the universe, I was blessed with hundreds of little caterpillars and a single wasp trying to get dinner. I don’t know why I’m saying all this. They were so small, the caterpillars. They built the webs together and the webs kept them safe, she says.

I chase city maze martian marzipan play pantonal / the push for pungent polygons
Punch putrid sardine can canola
Punch chaos chase bodybuilding demons
Arcade Ariadne chases maze machines mercury / I chase condensed material I chase was complete chaos and the earth was the complete chaos and the earth I chase condensed material and I separate impure from impure to renew the elixir

//
I chase chaos little caterpillars covered the face of the deep

Persist paranoia – melancholia – mania. Chase persistent nostalgia. Nostalgic for nonexistence – before birth – death drive crash.

Chase the heavens and the face of the face of the face chaos

Chaos builds the webs together and the webs persist. Persistent body horror and cosmic horror. Persistent absurdism web nihilism web antinatalism (note to self: study Benetar’s asymmetry argument).

I refuse to acknowledge the persistent silence. I attempt to fill the silence with anything – cahse chaos and make demons – persistent silence and nothing. Although I confront silent body horror and I refuse to paradoxically acknowledge it, but I desire a cosmic silence and embodied horror silence.
Date. Mate. Re-animate. Bride of the Re-animator
Girls! Guns! Lust! Flesh! Prepare yourself for…
Violence and Flesh!
You have never seen anything like it
I exist in persistent silence and I speak within silence even when it lurks subconscious. Silence chases chaos silence clouds haze haze city. Persists acknowledge paranoia, an anxious gnosis.

I chase chaos and chaos subsists antinatalism sublime lemon lime slime subsistence.
//

Chaos chase to earth face God create Chaos swept the complete the over heavens Chaos builds webs together and the webs keep me safe

Risk Dead End

I transpose sound into tetragrammaton sound (a sound transmogrified into sun desert and sunn desert big fucking amplifiers)     I risk bright RED, the fly that irritated and broke the attraction that held us with four fingers     I risk my fingers in the arcade machine, an iron mangler / monstrous mangroves

But Moses said to God, “If I come to the Israelites and say to them ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?”  God said to Moses, “I am Who I Am.”  He said further, “Thus you shall say to the Israelites, “I Am has sent me to you.”  God also said to Moses, “Thus you shall say to the Israelites, “YHVH, the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’  This is my name forever, and this is my title for all generations.”

Transpose sound tetragrammaton noise (sound transmogrified into sun desert Yod and big fucking amplifier Yod hay Vav Hay noise)

Risk bright RED – irritating red this the name – RED I of name says I am forever red     Risk red attraction held up by four fingers

I risk my fingers in the arcade mangler.  I risk a wordless monstrosity – I write a wordless monstrosity black meteor materia.

I risk bright RED is deliberate am I you and them          Risk my fingers say and this sent I said sent they ancestors

Fingers in the arcade iron mangler to of name of me what God          Monstrous mangroves who to all me to say forever

I risk big red happen happen eye socket (the fecal eye of the sun also turns itself from these volcanic entrails)


//
Risk an ancient geometrical paradox.  Risk body upswells geometry.  Risk grotesque geometry taste slew tangent self-immolation.

Risk ancient geometry this is my name forever but we generations grotesque geometry

My body burns odd-mod-small geometry.  Destruction especially by fire.  To sprinkle with sacrificial meal.  The said say said Isaac Israelites ask sent to.  To sprinkle an ancient geometry telemetry roof (the roof the roof the roof is on fire).

Ancient geometries risk genesis grand guinol alcohol they keep calling me they keep calling me   (risk cell mellifluous colors corset unsettling)

Risk re/written seer arcade Yahweh.  Risk Yahu or YHVH this name of a storm-and-warrior god foreign to the Levant but nevertheless invades iron mangler geometry.  The Yod conquers Canaan death to all men, women, and children.  Genocide graffittis bright RED – irritating color me blood red – iron mangler arcade mutilation – risk noise tetragrammaton.  Risk red written transmogrified Yod and Hay, and I infuse Yod with additional womb / woman (Benjamin Ariadne breasts and phallus).  Risk grotesque Pentateuch body horror (Horror will hold you helpless!  Night of the Blood Monster).  

Prophesy or risk anarchic melancholy.  Anarchic melancholy delicious depression / superstition hyperstition.

Hyperstition static suicides

Hypertension sent ancestors is say generations them of god

I sleep in static erratic steady erratic static sleeping

I stretch mesh mix sleep mast massacre mad hatter

Risk ancient geometry
//


I transpose sound into tetragrammaton noise (noise transmogrified into sun desert Yod Hay Vav)

I risk a wordless monstrosity / night of the blood monster      I risk monstrosity am said a desert your I

What makes it worth being my friend? I say to Asia.  Why do you want to be stuck with me?  I’m just thinking about my conversation with Krystal.  I cause grief for the people I love, I say.  Obviously that’s not the only feeling you cause, says Asia.  That’s what you risk when you form relationships with others, she says.

I risk big red rapid happen eye sockets (the final eye of the sun also turns itself from these volcanic entrails, and the pain of man who tears out his own eye with his fingers is not more abstract than this anus material of the sun).

I risk sunny arcade sun of gore god but said god to say his     I risk sun name of has has god name – always risk am     Always risk name man arcade with his fingers

I transpose sound into tetragrammaton to be stuck with me     Sound strangers sound stuck – stuck – that’s what you risk when you form relationships with others     Transpose sound with others noise (night of the blood monster)     I write a wordless monstrosity / sun prophesies fingers massacred by arcade iron mangler


//
What is the content of my prophecy these days, you think?  I say to Asia.  Staying alive, says Asia.  I wasn’t expecting that answer.  Could you talk a little bit more about how it’s staying alive?  You speak a lot about your struggle with wanting to die and finding purpose through relationships and creativity, says Asia.

That’s what you risk when you form relationships with others.

I am alive.  I am alive.  I live (I live!  I live!  I live!  I live!)

I risk and I prophesy struggle – stress parts all streets of rage.  I prophesy streets of rage page aim same play array death.  Anything dead.  Everything death.  Any all every death depth debt depth (Again dead end?  Again dead end.  Risk dead end.  Risk tearing my solar eyes out splatter sunlight onto the concrete.  Dead end – means sin saw uneven bars little black dress bars.)

Thule title to if Israelites to but the Moses me said of God, Again dead end.  Again / risk and look again dead end inland empire.  Surrealism.  Risk in end and shall to the Abraham sent sent and small.  Risk in end en un through alm all dead thin then thin thread said dead bed (risk bed hair).
//


My eye furthers an erotic risk, a gag rubber chicken (I risk weird menace and shudder pulps / they will contain enough illustrated sex perversions to give Krafts-Ebing the unholy jitters)     I risk weird arcade mesh and arcade weird struggle death wilderness (exposition by its very nature is artificial)     I risk bright RED risk, rift lake raptor light     Risk rift lake monolith moment of symmetry / degrees of freedom

That’s what you risk when you form relationships with others

I risk algorithm rhythm algae bloom bosom battle rift hotel     (risk range dead sea transform fault symmetry)

That’s what you risk when you shall say YHVH, the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, the Good of Isaac, and the God of Jacob has sent me to you

Sent me to you I live I live I live     I live this is my name forever     this is my name forever risk dead end and risk dead end for all generations

I transpose sound into the struggle of the name     Name noise risk     Risk     Prophesy risk alive this is my name forever

I Pass Through The Passages Of Her Arms

I pass through her arms annihilation I pass through her passages armed robbery midnight (star light star bright first star I see tonight) I sight stars stab habit stretch music mucous

Pass through her Book births bizarre arts I pass through market place bit-rate armed robberies (At midnight, Book barters bodies split spore whores)

Book passages passage technique techniques but midnight. Midnight passages before midnight slower film. Film the arms of the Book. My flesh fevers Book technique: armless tetragrammaton and one dark night when the moon was bright. Passage. Play passage plays passages midnight but midnight plays unique technique tetragrammaton. My flesh fevers technique tetragrammaton abyss and YHVH limb yard land hacksaw. Book passages passage technique squeezes her annihilation. Her annihilation squeezes annunciation.

I pass through her arms annunciation and my wild strawberry hair sows similar

I pass through sinister arms her annihilation

Pass annihilation similar triangles similar quadrilaterals / lost lake bodies

Pass passages

Pass passages past annihilation armed robberies

I pass through her passages armed robbery midnight

At the library, I discover a secret passage between the arms of the weeping angels

I pass through her arms annunciation. Her arms annihilation arms quadrilateral saws. Bodies glacier Book lost lake Book bodies. Pass through her Book lake lost lakes passages through pass Book. I pass through her arms altogether on a smoke descended upon it in fire. Altogether on smoke quaked passages star passages hide in library wings and earthworms. I follow the passages through annihilating wire. Book births library passages as lake bodies.

Dark dance with you through many times through the swamps Dance dense with your word dance (Aleatoric swamp. Does this aleatoric dance and dance mobile open form – aleatoric passages – mobile passages pass path? Aleatoric library. But the library?) Does this dance lead anywhere Somewhere speech – split – sitting – silt salt split – survivor type Dance dance to we you to the type dance

Passages as if I know passages from the Book with. Read this passage and look and say. Recite after the Book as if I know the passages. I look for the passages to lead me elsewhere: Book, lead me elsewhere through the library. Everywhere, library, so surprise me library. Surprise dance annihilation it’s dancing house and I do not live in the house but the library. Surprise aleatoric unconditional chance library chance unconditional remains. I dance same androgynous but different passages. Dance rain game dancing wrecking appendages. Library appendages attach to the passages as adhesive – as – as if this surprise – as – and as wrecks.

I dance as if I know the passages Unconditional passages surprise
Anarchic and aleatoric / always already unconditional
An homage to slasher films
A woman all myth-narratives
I pull through her arms annihilation

You think Mary Magdalene was a mythical character? I say. She has become mythologized, says Asia. Sure, I say. That’s the nature of being human. We make myth. Of course we can demythologize her, which may get us closer to a historical view of her, but the myth is not less important than the history, I say. The history and myth are the same thing, says Asia. There’s no way to know most of the details so we fill in the rest. Someday someone will fill in the rest of your life, I say. Someone will fill in the rest of my life. That’s how we tell stories, I say. You can’t tell me that my life will be just as mythologized as a follower of Jesus who was a somewhat prominent figure in the holy text of one of the world’s most dominant religions, she says. I just mean all lives are like that, no? I say. Like reconstructed after the fact. But also, no it would not surprise me if you were a prominent figure in a holy text someday. It would be very ironic. I will haunt you, says Asia. I can’t have a bunch of assholes praying to me.

I pass through her arms an homage to slasher films I pass through annihilating myth myth spontaneous improvisations
Book God that the abyss whitened slack raging under an incline
Star light star bright that’s the nature of being human. We make myth. Myth will haunt you. Myth will haunt homage and honey and map knives.

Follower of the myth is not less important religious

I just as mythical character I just as mythical character an homage of mathematics

She has become mythical view of the had become mythical character

Stabbing stars sight stippled skin surface Stab her surface skin porous passages / fragment Alice’s Adventures underground

Underground: Book god underground abyss whiteness slack raging under an incline
Incline increase human intestine and other mutated internal organs
Nature being the dominant mythologized after get but

Underground myth passages passes myth underground myth. Underground myth annihilates myth upon myth underground. Underground dances aleatoric. Underground shakes and releases the library from the cephalopod jungle. Underground you her fill followers and in the wouldn’t underground and Jesus surprises myth rest and myth me. Underground increases human intestines and mutated animal interactions. Organs increase underground. Organs incline the Jesus surprise Magdalene myth who rests me underground. You think Monk Magdalene was a sorcerer characters. She was before mythologies. Sure that’s the nature of being zebra. We make myth. We make myth underground.

I pass through her arms midnight and I sight stars stabbing – an homage to slasher films I pass through underground arms forming the pipework of the city library Library annihilates library, dancing apocalypse

I Act In Thirty-Six Interchangeable Dialogues

I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues

Act dialogue dash dialogue dash dialogue act Act thirty-six paths fork labyrinths fork paths thirty-six (enter the thirty-six chambers enter the thirty-six chambers of wisdom and woman) Act dialogue dig dialogue the dish ran away with the spoon dialogue act

I act thirty-six interchangeable dialogues and desert towards dialogue divinity. I act in desert dark music. Desert dark magus murks air dark and desert supernal darkness drum apophatic. I act apophatic and I act in the negative motion of desert-dialogue. Act in dialogue and act in garden. I garden dark inevitably desert and although I haven’t read In Search Of Lost Time, I know I lose the time in desert. Desert marches slow in lost time and desert reveals film and play. I camera film and play and I act play playful desert. Time escapes into childhood movies and moving nostalgia and I act in dialogues-conversations hyperlink cinema. I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues and thirty-six interchangeable deserts, and it all gardens playful time (Time is a child playing droughts, the kingly power is a child’s.)

I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues and the desert towards dialogue divining dark music (I nomad music monochromatic shaped canvas) I act in short attacks and angular attacks, and I act attacks vibrate only ocean ocean abyss

I’m not aware of the divine. Visiting the SF MOMA made me recognize that I do not direct my attention properly. I do not direct my attention… Two paintings refocused me: Mark Rothko’s No. 14, 1960 and Anselm Kiefer’s Entfaitung der Sefirot (Unfolding of the Sefirot). The paintings reminded me of my duty to awareness and create in sacred space and create sacred place. The sacred space happens whenever I direct my attention to with the intention of the sacred because it is everywhere whether I acknowledge it or not.

I act in the sacred place of the Book
Book naval blockade bundle branch block
Book blisters my body burden of the valley of vision
(I still experience visions without YHVH: vision psyclone valley experiment)

I act sacred space in sacred space and visions close blow volumes Vision coil crossbow ben body bounce Book / I experience Book in chop wood carry water Book births bizarre monsters monster market place (her last kiss… a horror worse than dying Kiss Me Monster)

//
I act in the thirty-six interchangeable thirty-six dialogues and thirty-six monsters. All monsters act Ben Hinnom and Ben Moloch.

Fuck my thoughts. I embrace quotations and texts. I love myself as a text and in act performance. Melancholy acts monstrous nostalgic: saturnine – sulfur – surfactants – nested tuplet soap bubbles. Come these thoughts – my thoughts and they belong to me – because they too loom a text-making machine and a pure prayer performances act art part play inseparable from me.

I miss everybody (don’t tell anybody anything – otherwise you’ll miss everybody). I miss everyone – you here, I used to know you. I make you myth and stories. I make as mythologies and I tell the stories (Every story storytells me, a storytelling Benjamin. Every story storytells you, a storytelling god-woman women word word word…). I always tell stories I always make myths. I never stop. I always tell thirty-six interchangeable myths among thirty-six interchangeable stories among thirty-six interchangeable monsters with their choreograpies. I know my myth human and I know my human myth.

The Last Common Universal Ancestor certainly had genes and a genetic code. Its genetic material was mostly likely DNA, so it lived after the RNA World.

I see myself the beginning primordial, single-celled, predecessor to all domain of life… First ancestor and I birth common and common conic viruses. I birth Boltzmann Brains brain lollapalooza (Where I? Where common see. See where? Where distance: her wolf distance dissociates fuck desert. Desert where last common universal ancestor.)

What am I doing here? Do I exist at all? Here anywhere ago what age at act thirty-six dialogues. Does Asia exist? Christina once exists and perhaps I as Ben but I no longer exist. I do not exist or at least I do not exist as Benjamin. I exist as the specter listening to “Circus” by Kazuki Tomokawa. I listen entirely unreal irreal nursing entire (That there that’s not me I go where I please I walk through walls I float down the liffey I’m not here this isn’t happening). I do not know where Ben – where am – before Abraham, I am not.

I do not know where I am – this is not my beautiful car – this is not my beautiful wife. Entirely common and quotation entirely other. Face to face with my “self” – “self” violence. I’m not living I’m just killing time just don’t leave don’t leave. I don’t think Asia will ever leave me even if I don’t exist. She unconditionally loves whatever this Ben is. She trusts him and nurtures and grows and gardens. Pando even as I feel ghostly / ghastly / I’m not here this isn’t happening. I don’t exist or this Ben doesn’t exist but any Ben as Not-Ben has friends who unconditionally love him.

Maybe I died. I exist in the underworld or afterlife.
Horrible secret in crypt of ancient castle – discovered by dweller
I dwell in the abode of the dead. I dwell with the rats in the walls. I cannibalize the spinal column of the Book.
//

I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues with the Book

Book births bizarre monsters monster market place (the first satellite that returned to earth… and the hell it brought with it. The Flame Barrier) Book births market place bit-rate rhizome bodies Book barters bodies ocean spouse bodies spigot split photographs / open source flesh
My flesh fevers technique
Flesh fever tetragrammaton abyss
Technique YHVH lumberyard hard hacksaw

Book births my wild strawberry hair and hair saws simile similar

Lost lake bodies Bodies glacier Book

I act in short and angular attacks. A good chess game can be translated into a musical composition – so can a physics theory.

(What would using Anthony Braxton’s collage form structures – his coordinate logics – in the Book look like? Not merely the rhizomic quiltwork or patchwork polystylism, but the use of primary territories and secondary territories, and the simultaneous development of different texts / compositions – would it look any different than the multiplicity of the Book looks now, or would open up a difference – different horizon, different horizontal, different only ocean?)

I act in thirty-six interchangeable territories and ocean angles

I Trace Accented Long Sound

I thread and trace long sound and accented long sound I trace her tehom long sound abyss and ocean accented long sounds

Thread trace long sound and accented long sound…

I tread thread and trace long sound sounds anxious (I sound anxious amt ant amt amy anxious sounds I anxious. Thread trace sound tread sunthreads…)

I fail making poetry. I lack efficiency and my process drags. Process drags scratches anxious such as Record Without A Cover. I fail the writing and it etches cut-tumor widening brain. Tumors cut into the rut simultaneously efficient and insufficient (my grace is sufficient for you). I fail making poetry but I only discover the poetry and theopoetic process by failing and through catastrophic failure. I discover the process through Record Without A Cover dragged my drag queen personal and YHVH transforms my hip-bone avian. I wrestle here anywhere and I pick up the stones and move them to a different location (pocket locations – pickpocket locations – pencil eraser locations).

I tread and trace long sound and accented long sounds and sound shows Book smoke signals. I signal The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams and Finnegans Wake by James Joyce. It is the principle of music to repeat the theme. Repeat and repeat again as the pace mounts. The theme is difficult but no more difficult than the facts to be resolved. I read Finnegans Wake by James Joyce and I revel in its idiosyncratic repetition:

Anna Livia. I want to hear all about Anna Livia. Well, you know about Anna Livia?
Yes of course we all know Anna Livia. Tell me all. Tell me now. You’ll die when you hear…

KRYSXTRYN and much like KRYSXTRYN and Christina Marie sustains in her repetition.
I inhale her repetitions and suffocate on her name. I revel in her name suffocation and strangulation.

I read Finnegans Wake and The Red Wheelbarrow. I participate in John Cage happenings and activities, and the syntax entirely consists of her names – permutations and combinations of her names. Her names slacken syntax: grammar it’s hammer time. Grammar absent assent absurd cut weapons. John Cage used aleatoric techniques to destroy the syntax of Finnegans Wake. Towards the end of the record, the clicks and pops from the introduction interrupt the sample for two minutes. I improvise into the scratched aleatoric between being fooled and being aware of the illusion. Scratch slack syntax / slacken my mind more all the time. To make the language entirely foreground and present and not otherwise-present. I present myself text-in-itself-text impossible. I copy Finnegans Wake and a Morton Feldman late composition: it’s a text for other texts.

My Book creates as a spiritual instrument. The Book as spiritual instrument creates.
Create chasm syntax
Chasm hourglass syntax create
The mind and the blackbird are one
Spirit creates and all participate in writing the Book, whether consciously or unconsciously. Every text I quote becomes the Book.

(It has been decided that all books are the work of a single author who is timeless and anonymous. Literary criticism often invents authors: it will take two dissimilar works – the Tao Te Ching and the 1001 Nights, for instance – attribute them to a single author, and then in all good conscious determine the psychology of the most interesting homme de lettres.)

I am the timeless and anonymous author and I am the known and known Book. I create in the spirit Song of Songs and Canticle of Canticles. I bind Book in the cartridge and crooked spine: flesh in my flesh bone of my bone. It’s a text for generating other texts.

I trace the long sound and accented long sound accelerating Sound accelerates book Book book BOOK book accented long sound
Spiritual instrument Book
Orphic explanation of the earth which is the poet’s only duty
Book foremost as performance
Book performs as the spirit and spirit

Book performs. Book performs spirit: within spirit and spirit without totally distilled whiskey word. Book performs play play fermented flesh Book playful performance. Book performs sound and playful sound, and I perform the sound of the Book (heterophony and harmolodics). Book foremost performs and generates new texts and new hermeneutics. I carry the text forward with each ready, and with each ready, I discover a different permutation and combination of her names and I never exhaust her names. I abolish the inherent difference between inside the book.

I trace the long accented sound of the Book Book boast ben body brinkmanship Book ben body without organs mutually assured destruction / mutually assured masturbation
(Hear my name nuclear weapons policy:
Instead of mutually assured destruction, mutually assured masturbation.
Any time we want to bomb each other, we get off first and see how we feel after.)

I tread and trace long sound and accented long sound Trace her tehom long sound abyss and ocean accented long sound

My oceanic abyssos opens impossible horizon and horizon door desert (I unbolt the bolts of my body without organs) Body without organs hacks theme and ostinato / monomania ouroboros

Book Suppresses Time Ashes

Content Warning: descriptions of suicidal ideation and descriptions of deaths by suicide

The Book suppresses time ashes

The Book suppresses time ashes towards the relation of nonexistence towards the relation of eight printed pages Eight printed pages interpret the distance from point to line and a measurement of musical parameter
Distance squeamish nonsense monstrous moonshine
Moonshine slipbar shaar cylinder
Print a host of notations
Print a host of notations in Solo For Piano

The Book suppresses time ashes: ash mirror echolocation Ash echolocation – mirror most echoes – ash lateral littoral Ash coats labrador lavender lights linger (Book lingers lights larger eyes and Book lingers. I linger in Book scissors: scissor lasers sleight of hand geist. Geist spreads and compacts ash into glue ghosts.) Book squeezes time ash into geist grime grind gland ghost gold / ghost glue gold geist sly shy

//
I take a potsherd to scrape myself and sit among the ashes

Intensities circulate my brain engine. Intensities incinerates my brain amplification-destruction. Intensities agitate my brain burned all ash (prions – pylons – praises – palimpsests).

Intensities interrupt my brain circulates circulations brains in a vat batwings (suspended roller coaster intensities / I feared my shoes would fly off during Silver Bullet).

Intensities intersect intensities immediate my brain immediately (My fiance asked me to marry him in June. I don’t think I would make a good wife for anybody. He’s much better off without me). I wouldn’t be a good wife for anybody. I wouldn’t be a good partner for anyone. I scrape myself with a potsherd on my heap of ashes. Son of Man, you live in the heap of broken images. (At the bottom of the Empire State Building, the body of Evelyn McHale reposes calmly in a grotesque bier, her falling body punched into the top of the car). I wouldn’t make a good wife for anyone. KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome would be better without me. To jump. Asking Asia if I should jump. Asia puts up with a lot of my shit. To jump the very pulse of the machine. I never jump into the ashes of the Book and the Woman Field Word Marriage.

I take a potsherd to scrape myself and sit among the ashes
//

The Book suppresses time ashes
Suns to box made of wood hyena
Spoken specimen in the jackal language
The Book suppresses time ashes towards the relation of non-existence towards the relation of eight printed pages Book scratches eight printed pages in moonshine slipbar shaar cylinder a host of notations in Solo For Piano (Book amplitude duration overtone sculpture frequency Point of occurrence within the whole time frame)

I obsess with working and reworking text and texts: this obsidian obsession stretches the time of the text – texture of texts – time all texture terra time. I fold texts tenor tectonics. I fold and fold folded time to pli selon pli play tenor tectonics (time increases and I obsess time open text). I tread-trace-thread Taryn Tehom and Taryn Tohu Wa-Bohu. I trace increased time spinal catastrophe catastrophic catacombs. I trace-tea-tape Taryn Tiamat time alltime racing manic and ecstatic bebop tempos and I improvise a furious flurry over serpent changes and ocean changes / sea floor spreading).

The Book suppresses time ashes and Book time tremors tehom Book time tremor Book Book tremor answered by measurement of a dropped perpendicular Book time Book tremor suppressed time ashes (It is the principle of music to repeat the theme. Repeat and repeat again, as the pace mounts. The theme is difficult but no more difficult than the facts to be resolved).

I (re)read The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams. So much depends / upon / a red wheel / barrow / glazed with rain / water / beside the white / chickens I have told this story-narrative-myth before but I encountered this poem in middle school in one of my textbooks. It struck me – it struck me because I thought, is this truly a poem? If this is truly a poem, then surely anyone can write poetry! Shortly afterwards I began writing poetry. When I read the book Silence by John Cage, I understood how William Carlos Williams ignited my desire for writing poetry:

Question: But seriously, if this is what music is, I could write as well as you.
Answer: Have I said anything that would lead you to think I thought you were stupid?

A radical openness towards the ordinary of creativity – creativity as a daily activity, an incessant activity, an activity for survival – The Red Wheelbarrow and William Carlos Williams taught me this. It is the principle of music to repeat the theme. Repeat and repeat again, as the pace mounts. The theme is difficult but no more difficult than the facts to be resolved.

I read Finnegans Wake by James Joyce and I agree with John Cage: Joyce invented a wonderful idiolect with novel vocabulary and word play but Joyce still adhered to rules of syntax and grammar. Aaron Copland said something similar about Alexander Scriabin: Scriabin invented a new harmony but shackled it in sonata-allegro form… John Cage used aleatoric techniques to destroy the syntax of Finnegans Wake. I borrow aleatoric methods from John Cage to slacken my syntax but I also attempt free improvisations – non-idiomatic improvisations – altered states of consciousness – ecstasies and frenzies – to slacken the manacles of my mind (to quote William Blake). To make the language entirely foreground and present and not otherwise present (how impossible!). I copy Finnegans Wake to open my selves and writings: a text for generating texts.

The Book suppresses time ashes and the Book phoenix structures spiritual instruments. Book and spiritual instruments gathers all texts and re/creates texts. Every writer has worked in the Book without knowing (Orphic explanation of the earth is the poet’s duty). The Book foreground performs and forms formless texts: the same writing forwards and backwards. The text carries form forwards and backwards and invents new readings. Writing forms multidirectional and exhausting all orders and permutations of the Book exhaust themselves (impossible exhaustion). I attempt to abolish the inherent difference inside the book and the world outside.

//
I scrape myself with the potsherd and lay in the ashes

Intensities intersect intestines immediate my brain immediately (impossibly intense icicles dagger skull freezer desert) Impossible brain fire intensities (inland empire my brain inland empire black iron prison) Impossible brain fire white fire on black fire fused into the singular intensity of my body fucked by flames

Eyeball intensities / retina ray rabies rip through my skull cathedral lightning bolts (bolt told shoe insoles inland empire bolts) Eye erects intensities multiplicities compound eyes combined with many simple eyes (eye island inland empire)

(I can’t see myself at 40, to be honest. Surprised I made it to 30). I can only write about death. Everything I write involves death, especially my own death. Writing directs me to death and I lay full in desert depression; I lay float in Dead Sea 1400 feet below sea level, and I drink salt dead. I drink Salton Sea float wildlife dead (On February 28, 1970, Oliver Steindecker, Rothko’s assistant, found the artist laying dead on the kitchen floor in front of the sink, covered in blood. He had overdosed on barbiturates and cut his artery in his right arm with a razor blade. There was no suicide note. He was 66). I would leave an elaborate and overwrought / overthought suicide note. I hope it’s ugly and messy and not beautiful. My suicide should be spontaneous, impulsive, stupid.

Suicide (Purple Jumping Man) depicts two images in sequence, recorded by a documentary photographer, silkscreened in black ink on a purple background). My brain flooded by purple resentment hinting at my destruction in America / Bonnie and Clyde Death Car

Death monomania / death monomyth (I disappear in purple monomyth)

An Addendum To: I Move Or Mouth Abyss

Mouth anarchic abyss / I move or mouth abyss

I move or mouth abyss / mouth only oceanic anarchic abyss An anarchic abyss utters underwater oath…

I move or mouth abyss I mouth abyss agon again repeat agon

Mirror agon abyss mirror

I move or mouth abyss mirror (Benjamin as Pierre Boulez… Regarding his tendency to revise and expand his works of this period, Pierre Boulez commented: “On the creative plane, I live in a kind of plasma which allows me to move around gliding backwards and forwards. I remain within the same thing and I irradiate in several directions at once. I now have supple material which allows me to shift about in time and these re-creations.” Benjamin as Pierre Boulez working and reworking the same material endlessly.)

I move or mouth anarchic again and again. I mime Pierre Boulez’s prime mind to re/write: “As long as my ideas have not exhausted every possibility of proliferation, they stay in my mind.” Unlike Boulez, I retract no previous version: the reiterative exhaustive process itself performs-participates art-prophecy. History of prophecy itself prophesies / repetitions of prophecy prophesies in its gradual accumulation-difference. I move or mouth mirrored abyss gain and again prophesies.

I move or mouth abyss I myth abyss again abyss before the voice of the abyss I myth before the abyss only ocean (Before the light, before the voice in the abyss uttered the first word from the black belly of the night, there was only ocean) Taryn reveals the myth and monothematic myth and only ocean mania – repeats – rewrites only ocean mania

//
Cut through cut through the cut through mouth

Mouth cut into heteroglossia marginalia
Cut through other sides mouth side serpents (marginalia melancholy)
Language is always a multiplicity of language and myth is always a multiplicity of myth
Move or mouth languages multiplies languages languages multiple melancholic heteroglossia
Cut through cut through cut / my very empty mouth and spear in my side

Cut through myth. I talk traces, crystallization, and sclerotic deposits. Cut through the solids, the fossilized myth. Variable languages mouth no voices and too many voices.
Multiple variable language
Heteroglossic vulva
Myth glisses cut crystals
Cut and anxiety insects itself into the monsters. Monster-anxiety voices mouths moving abyss too many classes. Anxiety gazing into grotesque garden language and forces my blood thrust heads to grow thorny languages (languages cut across abyss gangrene)

Cut through cut through cut through
//

I move or mouth abyss – abyss an and abyss cut through difference-repetitions Taryn reveals the there cut through mirrors

I manipulate mirrors. I march mirrors ides of march. March mirrors mulch many murders. Mirrors not only mulch murders but slug song of ascent assassinations. I assassinate assorted assemblages – acrobatic assemblages and a national acrobat ben body.

(Bronze Mirror, New Kingdom of Egypt, Eighteenth Dynasty, 1540-1296 BCE)

Back when I was really depressed and anxious, says Asia, I would look in the mirror and I felt like I was looking at a dead person. Like it wasn’t me.

Matte mirrors matte black mirrors matte yellow rivers perpetual mirror blue

A mirror next to nothing A mirror none noun scarcity of enjambment (a word of meaning far from its sounding)

I move or myth abyss I mouth abyss back wen I was really depressed and anxious

There’s Something Monstrous About Mirrors, Part 2

There is something monstrous about mirrors – their repetition, their proliferation of repetition, the mirrors worrying mirrors. Text worries mirrors mirror further texts. There is something monstrous about mirrors / there is something monstrous about texts.

Text monsters my body monsters (my own monster body moves mirrors mirror text abominations. My abominable body distracts itself mirrors mirrors body text – text all movement, all momentum.)

My own monster body distracts its monstrosity in measured movements – unmeasured movements – bastard bomb movements. Beyond text beyond monster multiples monster / Pumpkinhead teddy bear’s picnic.
Monster medley mirror mirror monsters
I worry melodies within mirror texts texts move body texts

My own monster body moves mirror mirror movements (I know it’s hell to separate text and movement and maintain two different rhythms only maintain mirrors and monsters maintain mirror rhythm monster rhythm)

Suddenly, there was no trail. There was no game, no monster, nothing called Benjamin to be followed.

On that day, YHVH with his cruel sword, his mighty and powerful sword, will punish leviathan the twisted serpent; he will slay the monster of the deep.

Die monster! You don’t belong in this world!

I separate the mirror text and the mirror movement and mirrors collage-combine the monster contradictions I separate text and movement my body contraband byzantine monsters Baroque monsters body my body byzantine mirrors multiplication mirrors (mirror meadow metals hand of doom)

We all have the capacity to be monsters and we all have the capacity for compassion and kindness and sometimes we feel like both, says Asia. But what are we going to do? Live life afraid of the monsters in our own skulls? Hell no. Are we going to let those monsters terrorize us and the people we love? Absolutely the fuck not, she says.

My body separates text and movement contraband byzantine monsters
We capacity we skulls all from song hell
A good hell people I have compassion
To no are we
Be sometimes afraid to fuck monsters

//
My life scrambles entirely in delirium. I never know the happenings. I never know the what Book happens and body happens mirror delirium. Wolves book body baby wolf teeth nothing. Nothing Christina bear claws. Nothing Book naval blockade (Death boredom bipolar disorder bored – Ben bored. But this – “this”? Three. Not “this” but three thistles / thorns. Thorns throne rose bull horns). Book contains anything including boredom and nonsense. Three horns threshold heels mirrors. Borderline personality disorder. Death sides slides besides bye-bye death brides (horde buzzcut season). Vendor lobsters quadrille. Keep sake from the Black Iron Prison: mirror text mirror mirror.
//

There’s something monstrous about mirrors
I’ve our own skulls? Hell no.
Absolutely the monsters and we feel like both
I separate text and I saturate text: saturate mirrors low light labyrinths three free thorns labyrinthine lights (mirrors mirror monsters)
Monsters have the fuck monsters have capacity for and and and monsters
Baroque monsters body my body the to but skulls (mirrors mirror monsters it’s me I’m the problem it’s me at tea time everyone agrees)

There’s something monstrous about mirrors
Mirrors mirror monsters mercury magma YHVH
Book always plateau middle mirror
Book middles middle no beginning three multiple ends / plateau prayer plan
Mirrors mirror mimic monstrosities and I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror (absolutely the capacity to let those monsters it must always be exhausting rooting for the antihero)

You must know, she is intelligent, she has emotions, she is immoral, she is a gifted woman, but she’s a monster because she has an emptiness in her

And the monster, embracing its creator, filled her generous womb with seed

The bug-eyed monster is an early convention of the science fiction genre

Mirrors mimic mirror monstrosities and the treasure of Christ in the field devours divine feminine / she resurrects in my abdomen She resurrecting mirrors stained glass passion in my abdomen

The power of your writing lies in the hands of those who perceive it, says Asia. How they interpret it is everything while it is in their hands. All you can do is be authentic. Your problem is that you are having an identity crisis. You can’t define yourself with your writing. Your writing acts as a mirror. Your writing isn’t divine. You are divine. Your writing only reflects you. Others will read your writing and connect to something human. For a moment that space in their head won’t be lonely. That’s what makes it divine. That human connection, says Asia.

//
I initiate an invasion of the impossible – impossible reflecting impossible god mirrors. Impossible superimposes on impossible, an initiate impossible impossible mirror pornography (an itinerary of pornographic aporias). I drive up to Big Sur surfs pornographic crags and aporias – gapped mirror plunges – beach drop reflections – fugitive forest monsters. An iconoclastic impossible improvises galaga and galaxian mirror galaxies (a watch word for space-spindled galaxies the long spear threads).

An impossible eye gazes at god – an impossible eye gazes god bore engines – an impossible eye horrors above abyss a seeing breath of god

Impossible bereshit gazes at itself in mirrors and emanates its gaze outward – word autogenes
//

Mirrors mirror moth monstrosities and treasure field
Field the is are divine
Treasure you that
Moth power everything having the are space
Treasure of Christ devours impossible and self births Taryn-Treasure-Taryn

There is something monstrous about mirrors

Field Experiment Sequenza

Field experiment sequenza I field experiment sequenza sign zero simplicity (solder disintegration disintegrate trade raw repetition) I field summer sled repetition: carpet fragment mine sex insects

I field experiment sequenza sequence. Difference between that Book and this Book: sequence and sequenza. Serpentine sequenza book sequence sidewinder. My brain repeats the Book wild mouse – wild nothing more holy ghost absence sequential. Absent sequenzas impress ghost Book residue – remainder – from chaos, field creation)

Experiment – archive and pile again

Chaoses experiment: you are wherever your thoughts are and explanations come to an end somewhere. I place the external before me and explanations come to an end somewhere. (Too rigid, too concerned with fitting into neat categories. Too concerned with structure and not concerned enough with structure – rather field experiment excited a different kind of structure and continuity. Field garden – field blossom – field rhizome: entangled-disentangled domed chaos. Chaos-oceanic garden abyss. Fully entangled – do you understand. Understand, Benjamin, and listen you Son of Man – garden. Garden field experiment Palm Tree Garden. Garden sequence sequenza field experiment repeat field. Always prophesy. Always written – rewritten – never finished: prophesy. Prophesy only unfinished in field chaos. No difference but absolute difference – experiment. Difference between that Book and this Book – field garden garden field chaos. My chaos stretches out garden chaos: undefined / endless fields. No different but absolutely difference – Palm Tree Garden and paradise of the void…

I field experiment sequenza. Field summer shed repetition (Aren’t you an angel? You look so dead with that face on) I field experiment carpet timeless tunnel talon talon tunnel giving birth to thunder…

//
Field.

Also do not watch. Tumbling doll of flesh. Slaughtered vomit dolls. Red room. Year sank of manic find have opalescent wire. The wine say twin plants and dream.

Also do not watch. Tumbling doll of flesh. Slaughtered vomit dolls. Red room. I sink year and years open yard year (I sink year sank yard; I sink somewhere the year into the entirety of the yard. Yard spurs palm void spare years).

Also I do not watch. Tumbling doll of desert. Tumbling doll of the expanse dome dome extended. Tumbling doll down downward doll tumbling.
Know the knot of the year unkeen
Know knot slant year gnosis
Know entire (language slope insert itself into language embedded language game)

Also do not watch the field. Do not watch field. Experiment horror watch body. I garden my body earths.

Field.
//

I fled experiment sequenza: field experiment experiment turkish rug

I garden field myth and myth mops mirrors – myth maps mirror magnolia – myth mines mirrors blood on the motorway There is something monstrous about mirrors / something monstrous in myth mineral

My body moves in myth surface mirror Body moves my own monster body message myth (I know it’s hell to separate myth and movement and maintain two different rhythms)

(I move in the myth of my body and myth has its own melody-rhythm and myth invents its own harmolodics. Myth moves myth mirrored in mirrored myth. Faster and slower myth follows my faster bodies orbiting my slower bodies. Myth circles horizontal and myth spins heretical. I move cartwheel mirrors winding word gardens (other echoes inhabit to garden: shall we follow them?). I follow the garden and garden slides chaos. I scuttle screen and my mirror exoskeleton reflects Palm Tree Garden myth into chaos. Myth gardens chaos chaoses chaos myths. I move my myth body rose myth and myths magnolia. I move up and down garden downward myth. Body rotates around the myth toward the door I never opened into the rose-garden. Other myths inhabit the garden / other roses make residence in my body. Move monster body perpendicular to mirror body – still doubled myth. My own monster body moves mirrors mirrors mercury myth separate bodies. I know it’s hell to separate text and movement and maintain two different rhythms and text attacks staggered body blooms silver. My body myths difficult, the door I never opened into hapax legomenon harmolodics. I hang my body on pendulum-myth harmolodics.)

I was reading more of “The Lunar Reaches of Outer Space”, says Asia. He said that mythology happens when senses and images from the outer world are awakened by the imagination of the inner world… To me mythology is more than just old stories of gods and kings. It’s every idea, every story we have absorbed that helps form who we are and our ideas about how the world around us works, says Asia.

//
Field.

Also do not watch. Slaughter holy spirit vomited from the Krystal Cave Mouth. Language usurps many muck unstuck language. Language works murk lurk year-yard language.

Also do not watch slaughtered centigrade disintegration body boiling water. Language run rum language lurks longer long lock unlock rhythm language.

Also, do not watch. Slaughtered vomit burden of the valley of vision. Watchmen from the towers slaughter symphonies (behold the sea and walking the beach at night alone).

Field. Field behold the sea. Field walking the beach at night alone.
//

I field experiment sequenza I field experiment sequenza sign zero simplicity
Simplicity read when the kings
Sign more senses inner every and of and world
Repetition images and every ideas inner from mythology story
Field inner mirror movement: gardening, not architecture

Field experiment harmolodics Harmolodic reaches the is myth is Reaches the is myth body text two rhythms How of order more the we outer field myth

Difference between this field and that field: ideas inner from mythology story. Myth story images every idea: you are where your thoughts are. Mythology happened explanations come to an end somewhere and stories of gods and kings awakened by the imagination (imagination of the inner reaches of the outer world around us world to me mythology happens when senses and kings it’s every idea every idea every idea). Field myth world chaos and it comes through chaos and I produce the chaos before me. I mirror chaos and story in my body text-action and acting-myth.

I myth field you are where your thoughts are and explanations come to an end somewhere I story field I place the chaos before me (Too rigid, too inflexible: garden instead. Garden unfinished process and prophesy the garden-in-action – garden-in-body – garden – dance-mirror-text. Garden field text unfinished and prophesy tangled-disentangled). Necessary contradiction contradiction (every idea every idea every idea). Necessary field compounded and complicated by contradiction / I place the eternal chaos before me. I place the eternal myth before me.

Trust The Musical Material

Trust the musical material. Trust the sound and the continuity will take care of itself.

Trust the name – her name – trust her name and material. Trust her name KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome and I live between worlds. I live between her material worlds and I reshape material names name my name female names. Trust my name. Trust my name: Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom, and they traverse through the plane accelerating depth: secret depth deep ciphers – of name. I live between world names Ben Lydia and Benjamin Ariadne. I trust in my names which litter the Book. My names letter the Book material: melodic time and Taryn time.

Trust the musical material between worlds and overwhelmed by this world
Tempo is a limited use of time
I think of time as all time
Time Taryn pulls out the melody from my sinus cavities and polishes it or snatches melody from ben bone tuberosities (I take time solid in bone and flesh / Book concrete)

Time Taryn names melody and melody creeps despair over desert happenings (Melody creeping despair over things – things theremin happenings happen holy roller – creeping charismatic)

Time Taryn nymphea rest…
Rest. Rename. Nuptials. Nipples or Machine Gun. Rename not nests but time cave strafe.
Time Taryn nest nude dream made material. Material textures (Taryn textures transit the name of God, name Taryn Tetragrammaton)

(Time is always on my side / caught somewhere in time)

I transform time to material – trust the material Trust material music and trust melody embedded in flesh fossils / ossified ostinato
Rock music stone music
Cliff music earth music
Trust lithic flakes / flesh handaxe

… Trust her name Trust her names Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom, and her Human continually takes care of herself…

(Caught somewhere in time but time and all time pieces my side – blood and water pour out desperately)

I lack faith and I do not trust time time or material. I do not trust after John was arrested, Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the good news of God and saying, “The Time is fulfilled and the Kingdom of God has come near; repent and believe in the good news.” I lack faith in good news / gospel and repent / metanoia
(Do you know what thinking is? It’s just a fancy word for changing your mind. I will not change my mind. Then you will die stupid.)
I lack faith and I die stupid. The Human One takes care of continuity itself; the Son of Man conducts solar continuity slashed horizontal with my lunar continuity (moon of the flowers and blooms moon of strawberries moon of raspberries). Continuity means continuing to name.

We don’t need a virus, says Asia. We need to feel our roots, the things that connect us. We need to stop acting like a virus ourselves and recognize our role in this.

Trust her name Trust brass knuckles / knuckleduster name and she braids blood from my body crystallized kinbaku (match knots materials monstrous knots impregnated time solid)

Roots her name roots good news (Good news my androgynous body Ben Adam alchemical hermaphrodite body Ben Hinnom Red King and White Queen)

Roots her name roots, the Kingdom of God near
Alarm aleph on alpha bath she bound to beholder ben bodies
I live between worlds swamp Irish wolves / she names me bound crystalline kinbaku
Solid knots and material knots
Roots her name roots knot bodies without organs

Trust the musical material. Trust the name-sound and name-melody, and the continuous name curves-carved Ben Body without organs

Continuous Christina crystallized continuous Krystal Krystal crystallizes crack open crystal glacier
Glacier cast solid coast
Iceberg Ben starling skeleton
KRYSXTRYN extends continuity and discontinuity: trust Christina music and Kindred musical material

I transform time to material, a solidified instance: duration into desert Desert desert Desert endures duration Desert instant instantaneous crystal (solidified desert material body)

I transform time to material, a solidified instance desert Taryn in her name words (words name her name Benjamin Androgynous / labyrinthine Ben Ariadne) I condense time to crystal radios or ice hotels

(Time material undergoes melodic and rhythmic transformations and the trill-motif – motif ground bass – rotated and translates dead sea stone to anarchy harmony)

We need to feel our roots the things that connect us and the time is fulfilled, and the Kingdom of God has come near, and I repeat and believe in her gospel. I repent time and believe in her mad name.

Trust KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome and the continuities will take care of itself (The sweet blade be flat have flaw and take life, that hell wedding cake have key courage home. And wind like pain beetle the line). The continually will take care of itself. Trust her name KRYSXTRYN. Trust her name Asia KRYSXTRYN. Trust her name Asia Rhizome. Trust Zoe Sophia.