Rush Rainside Rapid Chaos

I rush rainside rapid oscillations / my body pig iron ironed isolated or isotopes

I rush rapid rain repetition and I repeat rain rushes: I edit oceanic eddies spill spool-laked and snare pictures

Rush ruach remnant realized chaotic (I collapse chaos aortic dissection and insect infestation, and my vessels expand fang tiger fangs. I rush fangs hard side cain rainfull – I rush fall collapse chaos and I choose rapid rain rushes.) Rush ruach chaos realized in Kindred chaos / Pando prima materia

Rush rainside rapid chaos / chaos oscillates chaotic text

//
To permit the poem to connect to as many diverse experiments as possible – polysynthesis – to propose rather than dictate so that each poem suggests something beyond itself.

It’s interesting and a part of me agrees with it but at the same time it sounds a little lazy, says Asia. I feel like there is a space for being intentional and curating the chaos into something tangible. I’m talking about intentionally arranging it in order to better communicate what it is that you are trying to say, says Asia.

Permit poem language and theopoetic language and peculiar language – not to permit but surrender to the north stormwinds and YHVH whirlwinds of languages
Theos language El Elohim languages
Book babel speeches
Connect play polysynthesis – relentless but not predictable language. Only the bird.

I think the concept of chaos is that it isn’t controlled or sorted into boxes, says Asia. You like chaos in your art but you like other things to stay exactly the same. Becoming comfortable with change is good. I would rather you find those fears on your own than have them thrown at you, says Asia.

Connect to – through the chest, under the skin. Katabatic dead abode but the descent is the ascent. Connect to relentless chaos (sleep between speech and dreams sleep between one language and another).
//

Rush rainside rapid <eccentric chaos kissed with beginning>

And one shall reign whom those who inhabit the earth do not expect, and the birds shall fly away together, and the sea of Sodom shall cast up fish, and one whom the many do not know shall make his voice heard by night, and all shall hear his voice. There shall be chaos also in many places, fire shall often break out, the wild animals shall roam beyond their haunts, and the mentrous women shall bring forth monsters.

Rush rainside rapid cast his haunts. Oscillate fire monsters roam women. Iron isolates my body expect birds many chaos. I rush together wild in Sodom his night rapid.
Porno Sex, ruthless black mail, savage murder – just opened in a
game of big money and brutal betrayal Fifty-Two Pickup
He menaces women with wild desires! Maniac a strange, startling love
Rush rapid repetition chaos beyond earth inhabit voice shall many iron

I rabbit rapid rain rushes and I sow sea of reeds Sow sea of reeds twelve tone row Sing song of sea seamstress exodus (my exiled soul explicit chaos / a hardcore chaos and pornography) Sleep sea of reeds raw last supper sleep: an insurmountable sea sleep

I sleep tidal wave letters letter Taryn tenebroso (Taryn titan vibrato)

I sleep tidal also inhabit their haunts and wild animals last up fight and monstrous – I taryn brings forth monsters not expect sleep

I sleep <Christina keeps chaos increasingly eccentric orbits>

Rapid rush rarefied aether / objects found in chance positions, in order or disorder, on tables, in boxes, drawers, fixed as they are Rapid rain rushes sea of reeds chance red rover red rover won’t Christina come over
<Christina keeps chaos in increasingly eccentric orbits
Eccentric chaos kisses with beginning the earth was complete coupled chaos Christina
Christina began to create the heavens and earth was complete chaos and darkness>
Sea of reeds rib their haunts and all fly away together, and the earth monsters cast up fish

Sea of reeds haunt her earth monsters, objects found in chance position, in order or disordered desert
chance operations <coupled chaos Christina>

I dream undressed desert in rain and rain falls on chance fields or wheels. I dream undressed desert a hard rain is gonna fall. Rainfalls vertical transformed horizontal and I myth multidirectional. Rain falls undressed desert and I decorate desert dressed on walls. Only the plane changes: horizontal becomes vertical, and with everything connected experimental-multidirectional. I dream horizontal as hug hung horizontal, a horizontal suspension digging hounds / wounds from graves.

Rapid rain rushes a hard rain’s gonna fall full repetition (repeat their menstrous voice break there also fire places shall be shall birds hear those chaos roam)

A hard rain’s gonna fall full repetition (full repetition grinds groove blade groove) Rapid rushes cold war apocalypses and I approach apocalypse and as here her Christina chaos (rush rain undress syntax)

It Was Dark

It was dark

Too rigorous. Prophesy irregular and irrational. Risk the one time over, the written once, the kind of blue. Unconditional love embraces messy, mistakes, ugly. Enjoy ugly prophecy and ugly gods. Surprise with ugly and the divine trash layer – not only at all. Strange and alien divine leaks into the writing and gives porous prophecy (prophecy without category). Book already recognizes.

It was dark
It was dark call you yesterday where it went to you about some

It was dark
It was a dark and stormy night. Night storm-and-warrior deity. Storms. Taryn terrifies storms it was dark.

It was dark. It was dark call you yesterday where it went to about something night train holy spirit. Dead keep calling me. It was as it was dark and it was dark language no longer a language but a call. She calls me with this something where went lit to you language dark. Dark. Was dark. Her dark.

It was dark wedding. Wedding wed dark he on off on off. Of off her dark dwell odd divergent for her. It we see hawk and stiffen but night. It was a farm and during nurture night.

It was dark wedding and she dark and she fell dark dark fell. I fell full phantom dark wedding. Christ and Ben wedding Christina – fell dark fry on so hot cross buns. So if subterranean sizzles down signs and wonders wedding wed dark he cut off offer offal heterodox dark. I depend on dark – dirk draft dark wed.

(Failed wedding? Failure. Not failure de Kooning Woman III but something unstable, untenable. As if you not if – I feel nothing for this at all.)

I write something from outside of me, not inside of me. Not from within me yet dark. Should everything come from within? Art seems it should come from within. I’m not channeling a text from any gods or celestial beings – shouldn’t this text come from within me? I feel nothing for this dark wedding / I feel everything for this dark wedding. I know dark and I know nothing of this dark. This dark doesn’t belong to me but to something unknown.

I write something outside of me but one cannot distinguish between inside and outside. Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas says: “When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make the male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, when you make your eyes in the place of an eye, a hand in the place of a hand, a foot in the place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you will enter the Kingdom.” Prophecy and art come from the inner-outer and male-female: androgynous abyss and marriage of heaven and hell. I feel nothing for this dark wedding yet it maps and inscribes on my eyes in place of an eye and my hand in place of a hand and a foot in place of a foot my dark wedding. It is not my dark and it is my dark – it belongs to the unknown to me – X inside-outside me.

Book contains everything: everything connects to everything and everything follows everything. Book outside-inside upper-lower prophesies dark wedding different dark outer darkness.

It was dark. It was dark – my soul dark and my body dark darkful mind. It was dark and I descend to hell. I wed hell her awhile hellgrammites (I zero resurrection hellgrammite grammar). I exist hell ekstasis descent and the upper made into the lower and I am hell. I hell I am hell dark unknown – my soul hell and my body hell and my mind hell. I experience-experiment perpetual hell and hell happens and I perform happening next.

Hell contaminates everything. My hell contaminates all, and my hell all in all

It was dark call you yesterday where it went to you above something It was dark wedding and I wed went and hell change chisel aleatoric and hell invades wedding

Wedding wed dark he camera cull caw crow crow wide door raven Wedding Christina raven Raven run-off or off on her dark dwell odd detergent for her It was see hawk descent hell and stiffen star hell but night It was farm – farm film – flesh clam fanning – future flesh farm wind

It was dark red red red teeth red (Anything you have done well is worth letting go of… What have I done well? What have I written well? It is dark and I belong to the unknown)

Chase Chaos This Castle

Chase chaos this castle is a creature of chaos / chase chaos with beginning Book created Elohim

Chase in the beginning and with beginning
From mist, chaos
From mist and chaos, night
In night, I mingle their waters together

In night I mingle their waters together and I mingle Tigris and Euphrates

In night, I chase chaos mingled Tigris waters and Euphrates waters

Let us make demons and the gods assembled within her

Chase my body chaos transfigured Ben Lydia and Benjamin Ariadne. Ben body shakes no limit transfigures figure KRYSXTRYN with Just My Imagination by The Temptations serenading landscapes. My body naked music – skeleton harmony with gallop rhythm – no limit makes names experiments excess. Body takes no limit making chaoses. My body chaos transforms my labyrinthine name into magic alchemy. Alchemical Ariadne <myths Christina narrative>. Anarchic Ariadne will <continually, make, shape, manufacture.>

//
Chase chaos. Experiment. Fail into beginning and with beginning, chaotic failure.

I fear the Book. I write and rewrite I fear the Book. Fear of failure – imperfections – messes – incomprehensible to any reader.

Chase mistakes and write rewrite distractions. Even God wrote and rewrote creations: “From here, we learn that the Holy One blessed by continually created worlds and destroyed them, until he created the current ones and said: This one pleases me, those did not please me.” (Bereshit Rabbah 9:2)

Not mistakes but creating and destroying in the chasing chaos

Three years later, the coffee was still full of jello

We should play with legos at camp

I still like Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood especially the final confrontation between Tina and Jason because it’s silly awesome

Today I bought a rain coat and wore it on a Sunday

Lost lighthouse suspicious videotape film noir roadrunner lost highway suspicious Videotape film noir suspicious videotape film noir roadrunner

Dick Laurent is dead

I let my anterior accompany me as a tool, and a guardian, and as a protector

I sleep in the echo of the dream and the red hue of the dream

No difference between the mushroom and the coffin full of jello

Revisionist western
//

Chase chaos – chaos kelp kept

When Elohim began to create the heaven and the earth, the earth was complete chaos and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from Elohim swept over the face of the waters.

Chase chaos / from mist, chaos Chase chaos / He face of the heavens and the heavens and the face of the heavens and darkness complete chaos Chase chaos / <creation myths Christina narrative>

Let us make demons and the gods an ensemble within her

I make demons and they accompany desert deities. Gods assemble in Christina collage and assemblages, and Christina sets up a host to bring above conflict. I make demons all resembling Christina and her face clues demon collages.

I make demons and they accompany me <creation myths Christina narrative>. Make <creation myths> the face of the waters complete chaos and darkness complete chaos and the face of the heavens Christina. Gods assemble in Christina desert and <Christina couple down the road from the Books>. Couple down the road chase chaos.

Like yesterday I came home from work and my partner wanted me to check out something weird on a tree in our backyard, says Asia. It was a bunch of webs filled with tiny caterpillars. And on one of the webbed branches was a wasp, trying to get the treasure inside. Out of the chaos of the universe, I was blessed with hundreds of little caterpillars and a single wasp trying to get dinner. I don’t know why I’m saying all this. They were so small, the caterpillars. They built the webs together and the webs kept them safe, she says.

I chase city maze martian marzipan play pantonal / the push for pungent polygons
Punch putrid sardine can canola
Punch chaos chase bodybuilding demons
Arcade Ariadne chases maze machines mercury / I chase condensed material I chase was complete chaos and the earth was the complete chaos and the earth I chase condensed material and I separate impure from impure to renew the elixir

//
I chase chaos little caterpillars covered the face of the deep

Persist paranoia – melancholia – mania. Chase persistent nostalgia. Nostalgic for nonexistence – before birth – death drive crash.

Chase the heavens and the face of the face of the face chaos

Chaos builds the webs together and the webs persist. Persistent body horror and cosmic horror. Persistent absurdism web nihilism web antinatalism (note to self: study Benetar’s asymmetry argument).

I refuse to acknowledge the persistent silence. I attempt to fill the silence with anything – cahse chaos and make demons – persistent silence and nothing. Although I confront silent body horror and I refuse to paradoxically acknowledge it, but I desire a cosmic silence and embodied horror silence.
Date. Mate. Re-animate. Bride of the Re-animator
Girls! Guns! Lust! Flesh! Prepare yourself for…
Violence and Flesh!
You have never seen anything like it
I exist in persistent silence and I speak within silence even when it lurks subconscious. Silence chases chaos silence clouds haze haze city. Persists acknowledge paranoia, an anxious gnosis.

I chase chaos and chaos subsists antinatalism sublime lemon lime slime subsistence.
//

Chaos chase to earth face God create Chaos swept the complete the over heavens Chaos builds webs together and the webs keep me safe

Risk Dead End

I transpose sound into tetragrammaton sound (a sound transmogrified into sun desert and sunn desert big fucking amplifiers)     I risk bright RED, the fly that irritated and broke the attraction that held us with four fingers     I risk my fingers in the arcade machine, an iron mangler / monstrous mangroves

But Moses said to God, “If I come to the Israelites and say to them ‘The God of your ancestors has sent me to you’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?”  God said to Moses, “I am Who I Am.”  He said further, “Thus you shall say to the Israelites, “I Am has sent me to you.”  God also said to Moses, “Thus you shall say to the Israelites, “YHVH, the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’  This is my name forever, and this is my title for all generations.”

Transpose sound tetragrammaton noise (sound transmogrified into sun desert Yod and big fucking amplifier Yod hay Vav Hay noise)

Risk bright RED – irritating red this the name – RED I of name says I am forever red     Risk red attraction held up by four fingers

I risk my fingers in the arcade mangler.  I risk a wordless monstrosity – I write a wordless monstrosity black meteor materia.

I risk bright RED is deliberate am I you and them          Risk my fingers say and this sent I said sent they ancestors

Fingers in the arcade iron mangler to of name of me what God          Monstrous mangroves who to all me to say forever

I risk big red happen happen eye socket (the fecal eye of the sun also turns itself from these volcanic entrails)


//
Risk an ancient geometrical paradox.  Risk body upswells geometry.  Risk grotesque geometry taste slew tangent self-immolation.

Risk ancient geometry this is my name forever but we generations grotesque geometry

My body burns odd-mod-small geometry.  Destruction especially by fire.  To sprinkle with sacrificial meal.  The said say said Isaac Israelites ask sent to.  To sprinkle an ancient geometry telemetry roof (the roof the roof the roof is on fire).

Ancient geometries risk genesis grand guinol alcohol they keep calling me they keep calling me   (risk cell mellifluous colors corset unsettling)

Risk re/written seer arcade Yahweh.  Risk Yahu or YHVH this name of a storm-and-warrior god foreign to the Levant but nevertheless invades iron mangler geometry.  The Yod conquers Canaan death to all men, women, and children.  Genocide graffittis bright RED – irritating color me blood red – iron mangler arcade mutilation – risk noise tetragrammaton.  Risk red written transmogrified Yod and Hay, and I infuse Yod with additional womb / woman (Benjamin Ariadne breasts and phallus).  Risk grotesque Pentateuch body horror (Horror will hold you helpless!  Night of the Blood Monster).  

Prophesy or risk anarchic melancholy.  Anarchic melancholy delicious depression / superstition hyperstition.

Hyperstition static suicides

Hypertension sent ancestors is say generations them of god

I sleep in static erratic steady erratic static sleeping

I stretch mesh mix sleep mast massacre mad hatter

Risk ancient geometry
//


I transpose sound into tetragrammaton noise (noise transmogrified into sun desert Yod Hay Vav)

I risk a wordless monstrosity / night of the blood monster      I risk monstrosity am said a desert your I

What makes it worth being my friend? I say to Asia.  Why do you want to be stuck with me?  I’m just thinking about my conversation with Krystal.  I cause grief for the people I love, I say.  Obviously that’s not the only feeling you cause, says Asia.  That’s what you risk when you form relationships with others, she says.

I risk big red rapid happen eye sockets (the final eye of the sun also turns itself from these volcanic entrails, and the pain of man who tears out his own eye with his fingers is not more abstract than this anus material of the sun).

I risk sunny arcade sun of gore god but said god to say his     I risk sun name of has has god name – always risk am     Always risk name man arcade with his fingers

I transpose sound into tetragrammaton to be stuck with me     Sound strangers sound stuck – stuck – that’s what you risk when you form relationships with others     Transpose sound with others noise (night of the blood monster)     I write a wordless monstrosity / sun prophesies fingers massacred by arcade iron mangler


//
What is the content of my prophecy these days, you think?  I say to Asia.  Staying alive, says Asia.  I wasn’t expecting that answer.  Could you talk a little bit more about how it’s staying alive?  You speak a lot about your struggle with wanting to die and finding purpose through relationships and creativity, says Asia.

That’s what you risk when you form relationships with others.

I am alive.  I am alive.  I live (I live!  I live!  I live!  I live!)

I risk and I prophesy struggle – stress parts all streets of rage.  I prophesy streets of rage page aim same play array death.  Anything dead.  Everything death.  Any all every death depth debt depth (Again dead end?  Again dead end.  Risk dead end.  Risk tearing my solar eyes out splatter sunlight onto the concrete.  Dead end – means sin saw uneven bars little black dress bars.)

Thule title to if Israelites to but the Moses me said of God, Again dead end.  Again / risk and look again dead end inland empire.  Surrealism.  Risk in end and shall to the Abraham sent sent and small.  Risk in end en un through alm all dead thin then thin thread said dead bed (risk bed hair).
//


My eye furthers an erotic risk, a gag rubber chicken (I risk weird menace and shudder pulps / they will contain enough illustrated sex perversions to give Krafts-Ebing the unholy jitters)     I risk weird arcade mesh and arcade weird struggle death wilderness (exposition by its very nature is artificial)     I risk bright RED risk, rift lake raptor light     Risk rift lake monolith moment of symmetry / degrees of freedom

That’s what you risk when you form relationships with others

I risk algorithm rhythm algae bloom bosom battle rift hotel     (risk range dead sea transform fault symmetry)

That’s what you risk when you shall say YHVH, the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham, the Good of Isaac, and the God of Jacob has sent me to you

Sent me to you I live I live I live     I live this is my name forever     this is my name forever risk dead end and risk dead end for all generations

I transpose sound into the struggle of the name     Name noise risk     Risk     Prophesy risk alive this is my name forever

I Pass Through The Passages Of Her Arms

I pass through her arms annihilation I pass through her passages armed robbery midnight (star light star bright first star I see tonight) I sight stars stab habit stretch music mucous

Pass through her Book births bizarre arts I pass through market place bit-rate armed robberies (At midnight, Book barters bodies split spore whores)

Book passages passage technique techniques but midnight. Midnight passages before midnight slower film. Film the arms of the Book. My flesh fevers Book technique: armless tetragrammaton and one dark night when the moon was bright. Passage. Play passage plays passages midnight but midnight plays unique technique tetragrammaton. My flesh fevers technique tetragrammaton abyss and YHVH limb yard land hacksaw. Book passages passage technique squeezes her annihilation. Her annihilation squeezes annunciation.

I pass through her arms annunciation and my wild strawberry hair sows similar

I pass through sinister arms her annihilation

Pass annihilation similar triangles similar quadrilaterals / lost lake bodies

Pass passages

Pass passages past annihilation armed robberies

I pass through her passages armed robbery midnight

At the library, I discover a secret passage between the arms of the weeping angels

I pass through her arms annunciation. Her arms annihilation arms quadrilateral saws. Bodies glacier Book lost lake Book bodies. Pass through her Book lake lost lakes passages through pass Book. I pass through her arms altogether on a smoke descended upon it in fire. Altogether on smoke quaked passages star passages hide in library wings and earthworms. I follow the passages through annihilating wire. Book births library passages as lake bodies.

Dark dance with you through many times through the swamps Dance dense with your word dance (Aleatoric swamp. Does this aleatoric dance and dance mobile open form – aleatoric passages – mobile passages pass path? Aleatoric library. But the library?) Does this dance lead anywhere Somewhere speech – split – sitting – silt salt split – survivor type Dance dance to we you to the type dance

Passages as if I know passages from the Book with. Read this passage and look and say. Recite after the Book as if I know the passages. I look for the passages to lead me elsewhere: Book, lead me elsewhere through the library. Everywhere, library, so surprise me library. Surprise dance annihilation it’s dancing house and I do not live in the house but the library. Surprise aleatoric unconditional chance library chance unconditional remains. I dance same androgynous but different passages. Dance rain game dancing wrecking appendages. Library appendages attach to the passages as adhesive – as – as if this surprise – as – and as wrecks.

I dance as if I know the passages Unconditional passages surprise
Anarchic and aleatoric / always already unconditional
An homage to slasher films
A woman all myth-narratives
I pull through her arms annihilation

You think Mary Magdalene was a mythical character? I say. She has become mythologized, says Asia. Sure, I say. That’s the nature of being human. We make myth. Of course we can demythologize her, which may get us closer to a historical view of her, but the myth is not less important than the history, I say. The history and myth are the same thing, says Asia. There’s no way to know most of the details so we fill in the rest. Someday someone will fill in the rest of your life, I say. Someone will fill in the rest of my life. That’s how we tell stories, I say. You can’t tell me that my life will be just as mythologized as a follower of Jesus who was a somewhat prominent figure in the holy text of one of the world’s most dominant religions, she says. I just mean all lives are like that, no? I say. Like reconstructed after the fact. But also, no it would not surprise me if you were a prominent figure in a holy text someday. It would be very ironic. I will haunt you, says Asia. I can’t have a bunch of assholes praying to me.

I pass through her arms an homage to slasher films I pass through annihilating myth myth spontaneous improvisations
Book God that the abyss whitened slack raging under an incline
Star light star bright that’s the nature of being human. We make myth. Myth will haunt you. Myth will haunt homage and honey and map knives.

Follower of the myth is not less important religious

I just as mythical character I just as mythical character an homage of mathematics

She has become mythical view of the had become mythical character

Stabbing stars sight stippled skin surface Stab her surface skin porous passages / fragment Alice’s Adventures underground

Underground: Book god underground abyss whiteness slack raging under an incline
Incline increase human intestine and other mutated internal organs
Nature being the dominant mythologized after get but

Underground myth passages passes myth underground myth. Underground myth annihilates myth upon myth underground. Underground dances aleatoric. Underground shakes and releases the library from the cephalopod jungle. Underground you her fill followers and in the wouldn’t underground and Jesus surprises myth rest and myth me. Underground increases human intestines and mutated animal interactions. Organs increase underground. Organs incline the Jesus surprise Magdalene myth who rests me underground. You think Monk Magdalene was a sorcerer characters. She was before mythologies. Sure that’s the nature of being zebra. We make myth. We make myth underground.

I pass through her arms midnight and I sight stars stabbing – an homage to slasher films I pass through underground arms forming the pipework of the city library Library annihilates library, dancing apocalypse

I Act In Thirty-Six Interchangeable Dialogues

I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues

Act dialogue dash dialogue dash dialogue act Act thirty-six paths fork labyrinths fork paths thirty-six (enter the thirty-six chambers enter the thirty-six chambers of wisdom and woman) Act dialogue dig dialogue the dish ran away with the spoon dialogue act

I act thirty-six interchangeable dialogues and desert towards dialogue divinity. I act in desert dark music. Desert dark magus murks air dark and desert supernal darkness drum apophatic. I act apophatic and I act in the negative motion of desert-dialogue. Act in dialogue and act in garden. I garden dark inevitably desert and although I haven’t read In Search Of Lost Time, I know I lose the time in desert. Desert marches slow in lost time and desert reveals film and play. I camera film and play and I act play playful desert. Time escapes into childhood movies and moving nostalgia and I act in dialogues-conversations hyperlink cinema. I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues and thirty-six interchangeable deserts, and it all gardens playful time (Time is a child playing droughts, the kingly power is a child’s.)

I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues and the desert towards dialogue divining dark music (I nomad music monochromatic shaped canvas) I act in short attacks and angular attacks, and I act attacks vibrate only ocean ocean abyss

I’m not aware of the divine. Visiting the SF MOMA made me recognize that I do not direct my attention properly. I do not direct my attention… Two paintings refocused me: Mark Rothko’s No. 14, 1960 and Anselm Kiefer’s Entfaitung der Sefirot (Unfolding of the Sefirot). The paintings reminded me of my duty to awareness and create in sacred space and create sacred place. The sacred space happens whenever I direct my attention to with the intention of the sacred because it is everywhere whether I acknowledge it or not.

I act in the sacred place of the Book
Book naval blockade bundle branch block
Book blisters my body burden of the valley of vision
(I still experience visions without YHVH: vision psyclone valley experiment)

I act sacred space in sacred space and visions close blow volumes Vision coil crossbow ben body bounce Book / I experience Book in chop wood carry water Book births bizarre monsters monster market place (her last kiss… a horror worse than dying Kiss Me Monster)

//
I act in the thirty-six interchangeable thirty-six dialogues and thirty-six monsters. All monsters act Ben Hinnom and Ben Moloch.

Fuck my thoughts. I embrace quotations and texts. I love myself as a text and in act performance. Melancholy acts monstrous nostalgic: saturnine – sulfur – surfactants – nested tuplet soap bubbles. Come these thoughts – my thoughts and they belong to me – because they too loom a text-making machine and a pure prayer performances act art part play inseparable from me.

I miss everybody (don’t tell anybody anything – otherwise you’ll miss everybody). I miss everyone – you here, I used to know you. I make you myth and stories. I make as mythologies and I tell the stories (Every story storytells me, a storytelling Benjamin. Every story storytells you, a storytelling god-woman women word word word…). I always tell stories I always make myths. I never stop. I always tell thirty-six interchangeable myths among thirty-six interchangeable stories among thirty-six interchangeable monsters with their choreograpies. I know my myth human and I know my human myth.

The Last Common Universal Ancestor certainly had genes and a genetic code. Its genetic material was mostly likely DNA, so it lived after the RNA World.

I see myself the beginning primordial, single-celled, predecessor to all domain of life… First ancestor and I birth common and common conic viruses. I birth Boltzmann Brains brain lollapalooza (Where I? Where common see. See where? Where distance: her wolf distance dissociates fuck desert. Desert where last common universal ancestor.)

What am I doing here? Do I exist at all? Here anywhere ago what age at act thirty-six dialogues. Does Asia exist? Christina once exists and perhaps I as Ben but I no longer exist. I do not exist or at least I do not exist as Benjamin. I exist as the specter listening to “Circus” by Kazuki Tomokawa. I listen entirely unreal irreal nursing entire (That there that’s not me I go where I please I walk through walls I float down the liffey I’m not here this isn’t happening). I do not know where Ben – where am – before Abraham, I am not.

I do not know where I am – this is not my beautiful car – this is not my beautiful wife. Entirely common and quotation entirely other. Face to face with my “self” – “self” violence. I’m not living I’m just killing time just don’t leave don’t leave. I don’t think Asia will ever leave me even if I don’t exist. She unconditionally loves whatever this Ben is. She trusts him and nurtures and grows and gardens. Pando even as I feel ghostly / ghastly / I’m not here this isn’t happening. I don’t exist or this Ben doesn’t exist but any Ben as Not-Ben has friends who unconditionally love him.

Maybe I died. I exist in the underworld or afterlife.
Horrible secret in crypt of ancient castle – discovered by dweller
I dwell in the abode of the dead. I dwell with the rats in the walls. I cannibalize the spinal column of the Book.
//

I act in thirty-six interchangeable dialogues with the Book

Book births bizarre monsters monster market place (the first satellite that returned to earth… and the hell it brought with it. The Flame Barrier) Book births market place bit-rate rhizome bodies Book barters bodies ocean spouse bodies spigot split photographs / open source flesh
My flesh fevers technique
Flesh fever tetragrammaton abyss
Technique YHVH lumberyard hard hacksaw

Book births my wild strawberry hair and hair saws simile similar

Lost lake bodies Bodies glacier Book

I act in short and angular attacks. A good chess game can be translated into a musical composition – so can a physics theory.

(What would using Anthony Braxton’s collage form structures – his coordinate logics – in the Book look like? Not merely the rhizomic quiltwork or patchwork polystylism, but the use of primary territories and secondary territories, and the simultaneous development of different texts / compositions – would it look any different than the multiplicity of the Book looks now, or would open up a difference – different horizon, different horizontal, different only ocean?)

I act in thirty-six interchangeable territories and ocean angles

I Trace Accented Long Sound

I thread and trace long sound and accented long sound I trace her tehom long sound abyss and ocean accented long sounds

Thread trace long sound and accented long sound…

I tread thread and trace long sound sounds anxious (I sound anxious amt ant amt amy anxious sounds I anxious. Thread trace sound tread sunthreads…)

I fail making poetry. I lack efficiency and my process drags. Process drags scratches anxious such as Record Without A Cover. I fail the writing and it etches cut-tumor widening brain. Tumors cut into the rut simultaneously efficient and insufficient (my grace is sufficient for you). I fail making poetry but I only discover the poetry and theopoetic process by failing and through catastrophic failure. I discover the process through Record Without A Cover dragged my drag queen personal and YHVH transforms my hip-bone avian. I wrestle here anywhere and I pick up the stones and move them to a different location (pocket locations – pickpocket locations – pencil eraser locations).

I tread and trace long sound and accented long sounds and sound shows Book smoke signals. I signal The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams and Finnegans Wake by James Joyce. It is the principle of music to repeat the theme. Repeat and repeat again as the pace mounts. The theme is difficult but no more difficult than the facts to be resolved. I read Finnegans Wake by James Joyce and I revel in its idiosyncratic repetition:

Anna Livia. I want to hear all about Anna Livia. Well, you know about Anna Livia?
Yes of course we all know Anna Livia. Tell me all. Tell me now. You’ll die when you hear…

KRYSXTRYN and much like KRYSXTRYN and Christina Marie sustains in her repetition.
I inhale her repetitions and suffocate on her name. I revel in her name suffocation and strangulation.

I read Finnegans Wake and The Red Wheelbarrow. I participate in John Cage happenings and activities, and the syntax entirely consists of her names – permutations and combinations of her names. Her names slacken syntax: grammar it’s hammer time. Grammar absent assent absurd cut weapons. John Cage used aleatoric techniques to destroy the syntax of Finnegans Wake. Towards the end of the record, the clicks and pops from the introduction interrupt the sample for two minutes. I improvise into the scratched aleatoric between being fooled and being aware of the illusion. Scratch slack syntax / slacken my mind more all the time. To make the language entirely foreground and present and not otherwise-present. I present myself text-in-itself-text impossible. I copy Finnegans Wake and a Morton Feldman late composition: it’s a text for other texts.

My Book creates as a spiritual instrument. The Book as spiritual instrument creates.
Create chasm syntax
Chasm hourglass syntax create
The mind and the blackbird are one
Spirit creates and all participate in writing the Book, whether consciously or unconsciously. Every text I quote becomes the Book.

(It has been decided that all books are the work of a single author who is timeless and anonymous. Literary criticism often invents authors: it will take two dissimilar works – the Tao Te Ching and the 1001 Nights, for instance – attribute them to a single author, and then in all good conscious determine the psychology of the most interesting homme de lettres.)

I am the timeless and anonymous author and I am the known and known Book. I create in the spirit Song of Songs and Canticle of Canticles. I bind Book in the cartridge and crooked spine: flesh in my flesh bone of my bone. It’s a text for generating other texts.

I trace the long sound and accented long sound accelerating Sound accelerates book Book book BOOK book accented long sound
Spiritual instrument Book
Orphic explanation of the earth which is the poet’s only duty
Book foremost as performance
Book performs as the spirit and spirit

Book performs. Book performs spirit: within spirit and spirit without totally distilled whiskey word. Book performs play play fermented flesh Book playful performance. Book performs sound and playful sound, and I perform the sound of the Book (heterophony and harmolodics). Book foremost performs and generates new texts and new hermeneutics. I carry the text forward with each ready, and with each ready, I discover a different permutation and combination of her names and I never exhaust her names. I abolish the inherent difference between inside the book.

I trace the long accented sound of the Book Book boast ben body brinkmanship Book ben body without organs mutually assured destruction / mutually assured masturbation
(Hear my name nuclear weapons policy:
Instead of mutually assured destruction, mutually assured masturbation.
Any time we want to bomb each other, we get off first and see how we feel after.)

I tread and trace long sound and accented long sound Trace her tehom long sound abyss and ocean accented long sound

My oceanic abyssos opens impossible horizon and horizon door desert (I unbolt the bolts of my body without organs) Body without organs hacks theme and ostinato / monomania ouroboros

Book Suppresses Time Ashes

Content Warning: descriptions of suicidal ideation and descriptions of deaths by suicide

The Book suppresses time ashes

The Book suppresses time ashes towards the relation of nonexistence towards the relation of eight printed pages Eight printed pages interpret the distance from point to line and a measurement of musical parameter
Distance squeamish nonsense monstrous moonshine
Moonshine slipbar shaar cylinder
Print a host of notations
Print a host of notations in Solo For Piano

The Book suppresses time ashes: ash mirror echolocation Ash echolocation – mirror most echoes – ash lateral littoral Ash coats labrador lavender lights linger (Book lingers lights larger eyes and Book lingers. I linger in Book scissors: scissor lasers sleight of hand geist. Geist spreads and compacts ash into glue ghosts.) Book squeezes time ash into geist grime grind gland ghost gold / ghost glue gold geist sly shy

//
I take a potsherd to scrape myself and sit among the ashes

Intensities circulate my brain engine. Intensities incinerates my brain amplification-destruction. Intensities agitate my brain burned all ash (prions – pylons – praises – palimpsests).

Intensities interrupt my brain circulates circulations brains in a vat batwings (suspended roller coaster intensities / I feared my shoes would fly off during Silver Bullet).

Intensities intersect intensities immediate my brain immediately (My fiance asked me to marry him in June. I don’t think I would make a good wife for anybody. He’s much better off without me). I wouldn’t be a good wife for anybody. I wouldn’t be a good partner for anyone. I scrape myself with a potsherd on my heap of ashes. Son of Man, you live in the heap of broken images. (At the bottom of the Empire State Building, the body of Evelyn McHale reposes calmly in a grotesque bier, her falling body punched into the top of the car). I wouldn’t make a good wife for anyone. KRYSXTRYN + Asia Rhizome would be better without me. To jump. Asking Asia if I should jump. Asia puts up with a lot of my shit. To jump the very pulse of the machine. I never jump into the ashes of the Book and the Woman Field Word Marriage.

I take a potsherd to scrape myself and sit among the ashes
//

The Book suppresses time ashes
Suns to box made of wood hyena
Spoken specimen in the jackal language
The Book suppresses time ashes towards the relation of non-existence towards the relation of eight printed pages Book scratches eight printed pages in moonshine slipbar shaar cylinder a host of notations in Solo For Piano (Book amplitude duration overtone sculpture frequency Point of occurrence within the whole time frame)

I obsess with working and reworking text and texts: this obsidian obsession stretches the time of the text – texture of texts – time all texture terra time. I fold texts tenor tectonics. I fold and fold folded time to pli selon pli play tenor tectonics (time increases and I obsess time open text). I tread-trace-thread Taryn Tehom and Taryn Tohu Wa-Bohu. I trace increased time spinal catastrophe catastrophic catacombs. I trace-tea-tape Taryn Tiamat time alltime racing manic and ecstatic bebop tempos and I improvise a furious flurry over serpent changes and ocean changes / sea floor spreading).

The Book suppresses time ashes and Book time tremors tehom Book time tremor Book Book tremor answered by measurement of a dropped perpendicular Book time Book tremor suppressed time ashes (It is the principle of music to repeat the theme. Repeat and repeat again, as the pace mounts. The theme is difficult but no more difficult than the facts to be resolved).

I (re)read The Red Wheelbarrow by William Carlos Williams. So much depends / upon / a red wheel / barrow / glazed with rain / water / beside the white / chickens I have told this story-narrative-myth before but I encountered this poem in middle school in one of my textbooks. It struck me – it struck me because I thought, is this truly a poem? If this is truly a poem, then surely anyone can write poetry! Shortly afterwards I began writing poetry. When I read the book Silence by John Cage, I understood how William Carlos Williams ignited my desire for writing poetry:

Question: But seriously, if this is what music is, I could write as well as you.
Answer: Have I said anything that would lead you to think I thought you were stupid?

A radical openness towards the ordinary of creativity – creativity as a daily activity, an incessant activity, an activity for survival – The Red Wheelbarrow and William Carlos Williams taught me this. It is the principle of music to repeat the theme. Repeat and repeat again, as the pace mounts. The theme is difficult but no more difficult than the facts to be resolved.

I read Finnegans Wake by James Joyce and I agree with John Cage: Joyce invented a wonderful idiolect with novel vocabulary and word play but Joyce still adhered to rules of syntax and grammar. Aaron Copland said something similar about Alexander Scriabin: Scriabin invented a new harmony but shackled it in sonata-allegro form… John Cage used aleatoric techniques to destroy the syntax of Finnegans Wake. I borrow aleatoric methods from John Cage to slacken my syntax but I also attempt free improvisations – non-idiomatic improvisations – altered states of consciousness – ecstasies and frenzies – to slacken the manacles of my mind (to quote William Blake). To make the language entirely foreground and present and not otherwise present (how impossible!). I copy Finnegans Wake to open my selves and writings: a text for generating texts.

The Book suppresses time ashes and the Book phoenix structures spiritual instruments. Book and spiritual instruments gathers all texts and re/creates texts. Every writer has worked in the Book without knowing (Orphic explanation of the earth is the poet’s duty). The Book foreground performs and forms formless texts: the same writing forwards and backwards. The text carries form forwards and backwards and invents new readings. Writing forms multidirectional and exhausting all orders and permutations of the Book exhaust themselves (impossible exhaustion). I attempt to abolish the inherent difference inside the book and the world outside.

//
I scrape myself with the potsherd and lay in the ashes

Intensities intersect intestines immediate my brain immediately (impossibly intense icicles dagger skull freezer desert) Impossible brain fire intensities (inland empire my brain inland empire black iron prison) Impossible brain fire white fire on black fire fused into the singular intensity of my body fucked by flames

Eyeball intensities / retina ray rabies rip through my skull cathedral lightning bolts (bolt told shoe insoles inland empire bolts) Eye erects intensities multiplicities compound eyes combined with many simple eyes (eye island inland empire)

(I can’t see myself at 40, to be honest. Surprised I made it to 30). I can only write about death. Everything I write involves death, especially my own death. Writing directs me to death and I lay full in desert depression; I lay float in Dead Sea 1400 feet below sea level, and I drink salt dead. I drink Salton Sea float wildlife dead (On February 28, 1970, Oliver Steindecker, Rothko’s assistant, found the artist laying dead on the kitchen floor in front of the sink, covered in blood. He had overdosed on barbiturates and cut his artery in his right arm with a razor blade. There was no suicide note. He was 66). I would leave an elaborate and overwrought / overthought suicide note. I hope it’s ugly and messy and not beautiful. My suicide should be spontaneous, impulsive, stupid.

Suicide (Purple Jumping Man) depicts two images in sequence, recorded by a documentary photographer, silkscreened in black ink on a purple background). My brain flooded by purple resentment hinting at my destruction in America / Bonnie and Clyde Death Car

Death monomania / death monomyth (I disappear in purple monomyth)

An Addendum To: I Move Or Mouth Abyss

Mouth anarchic abyss / I move or mouth abyss

I move or mouth abyss / mouth only oceanic anarchic abyss An anarchic abyss utters underwater oath…

I move or mouth abyss I mouth abyss agon again repeat agon

Mirror agon abyss mirror

I move or mouth abyss mirror (Benjamin as Pierre Boulez… Regarding his tendency to revise and expand his works of this period, Pierre Boulez commented: “On the creative plane, I live in a kind of plasma which allows me to move around gliding backwards and forwards. I remain within the same thing and I irradiate in several directions at once. I now have supple material which allows me to shift about in time and these re-creations.” Benjamin as Pierre Boulez working and reworking the same material endlessly.)

I move or mouth anarchic again and again. I mime Pierre Boulez’s prime mind to re/write: “As long as my ideas have not exhausted every possibility of proliferation, they stay in my mind.” Unlike Boulez, I retract no previous version: the reiterative exhaustive process itself performs-participates art-prophecy. History of prophecy itself prophesies / repetitions of prophecy prophesies in its gradual accumulation-difference. I move or mouth mirrored abyss gain and again prophesies.

I move or mouth abyss I myth abyss again abyss before the voice of the abyss I myth before the abyss only ocean (Before the light, before the voice in the abyss uttered the first word from the black belly of the night, there was only ocean) Taryn reveals the myth and monothematic myth and only ocean mania – repeats – rewrites only ocean mania

//
Cut through cut through the cut through mouth

Mouth cut into heteroglossia marginalia
Cut through other sides mouth side serpents (marginalia melancholy)
Language is always a multiplicity of language and myth is always a multiplicity of myth
Move or mouth languages multiplies languages languages multiple melancholic heteroglossia
Cut through cut through cut / my very empty mouth and spear in my side

Cut through myth. I talk traces, crystallization, and sclerotic deposits. Cut through the solids, the fossilized myth. Variable languages mouth no voices and too many voices.
Multiple variable language
Heteroglossic vulva
Myth glisses cut crystals
Cut and anxiety insects itself into the monsters. Monster-anxiety voices mouths moving abyss too many classes. Anxiety gazing into grotesque garden language and forces my blood thrust heads to grow thorny languages (languages cut across abyss gangrene)

Cut through cut through cut through
//

I move or mouth abyss – abyss an and abyss cut through difference-repetitions Taryn reveals the there cut through mirrors

I manipulate mirrors. I march mirrors ides of march. March mirrors mulch many murders. Mirrors not only mulch murders but slug song of ascent assassinations. I assassinate assorted assemblages – acrobatic assemblages and a national acrobat ben body.

(Bronze Mirror, New Kingdom of Egypt, Eighteenth Dynasty, 1540-1296 BCE)

Back when I was really depressed and anxious, says Asia, I would look in the mirror and I felt like I was looking at a dead person. Like it wasn’t me.

Matte mirrors matte black mirrors matte yellow rivers perpetual mirror blue

A mirror next to nothing A mirror none noun scarcity of enjambment (a word of meaning far from its sounding)

I move or myth abyss I mouth abyss back wen I was really depressed and anxious

There’s Something Monstrous About Mirrors, Part 2

There is something monstrous about mirrors – their repetition, their proliferation of repetition, the mirrors worrying mirrors. Text worries mirrors mirror further texts. There is something monstrous about mirrors / there is something monstrous about texts.

Text monsters my body monsters (my own monster body moves mirrors mirror text abominations. My abominable body distracts itself mirrors mirrors body text – text all movement, all momentum.)

My own monster body distracts its monstrosity in measured movements – unmeasured movements – bastard bomb movements. Beyond text beyond monster multiples monster / Pumpkinhead teddy bear’s picnic.
Monster medley mirror mirror monsters
I worry melodies within mirror texts texts move body texts

My own monster body moves mirror mirror movements (I know it’s hell to separate text and movement and maintain two different rhythms only maintain mirrors and monsters maintain mirror rhythm monster rhythm)

Suddenly, there was no trail. There was no game, no monster, nothing called Benjamin to be followed.

On that day, YHVH with his cruel sword, his mighty and powerful sword, will punish leviathan the twisted serpent; he will slay the monster of the deep.

Die monster! You don’t belong in this world!

I separate the mirror text and the mirror movement and mirrors collage-combine the monster contradictions I separate text and movement my body contraband byzantine monsters Baroque monsters body my body byzantine mirrors multiplication mirrors (mirror meadow metals hand of doom)

We all have the capacity to be monsters and we all have the capacity for compassion and kindness and sometimes we feel like both, says Asia. But what are we going to do? Live life afraid of the monsters in our own skulls? Hell no. Are we going to let those monsters terrorize us and the people we love? Absolutely the fuck not, she says.

My body separates text and movement contraband byzantine monsters
We capacity we skulls all from song hell
A good hell people I have compassion
To no are we
Be sometimes afraid to fuck monsters

//
My life scrambles entirely in delirium. I never know the happenings. I never know the what Book happens and body happens mirror delirium. Wolves book body baby wolf teeth nothing. Nothing Christina bear claws. Nothing Book naval blockade (Death boredom bipolar disorder bored – Ben bored. But this – “this”? Three. Not “this” but three thistles / thorns. Thorns throne rose bull horns). Book contains anything including boredom and nonsense. Three horns threshold heels mirrors. Borderline personality disorder. Death sides slides besides bye-bye death brides (horde buzzcut season). Vendor lobsters quadrille. Keep sake from the Black Iron Prison: mirror text mirror mirror.
//

There’s something monstrous about mirrors
I’ve our own skulls? Hell no.
Absolutely the monsters and we feel like both
I separate text and I saturate text: saturate mirrors low light labyrinths three free thorns labyrinthine lights (mirrors mirror monsters)
Monsters have the fuck monsters have capacity for and and and monsters
Baroque monsters body my body the to but skulls (mirrors mirror monsters it’s me I’m the problem it’s me at tea time everyone agrees)

There’s something monstrous about mirrors
Mirrors mirror monsters mercury magma YHVH
Book always plateau middle mirror
Book middles middle no beginning three multiple ends / plateau prayer plan
Mirrors mirror mimic monstrosities and I’ll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror (absolutely the capacity to let those monsters it must always be exhausting rooting for the antihero)

You must know, she is intelligent, she has emotions, she is immoral, she is a gifted woman, but she’s a monster because she has an emptiness in her

And the monster, embracing its creator, filled her generous womb with seed

The bug-eyed monster is an early convention of the science fiction genre

Mirrors mimic mirror monstrosities and the treasure of Christ in the field devours divine feminine / she resurrects in my abdomen She resurrecting mirrors stained glass passion in my abdomen

The power of your writing lies in the hands of those who perceive it, says Asia. How they interpret it is everything while it is in their hands. All you can do is be authentic. Your problem is that you are having an identity crisis. You can’t define yourself with your writing. Your writing acts as a mirror. Your writing isn’t divine. You are divine. Your writing only reflects you. Others will read your writing and connect to something human. For a moment that space in their head won’t be lonely. That’s what makes it divine. That human connection, says Asia.

//
I initiate an invasion of the impossible – impossible reflecting impossible god mirrors. Impossible superimposes on impossible, an initiate impossible impossible mirror pornography (an itinerary of pornographic aporias). I drive up to Big Sur surfs pornographic crags and aporias – gapped mirror plunges – beach drop reflections – fugitive forest monsters. An iconoclastic impossible improvises galaga and galaxian mirror galaxies (a watch word for space-spindled galaxies the long spear threads).

An impossible eye gazes at god – an impossible eye gazes god bore engines – an impossible eye horrors above abyss a seeing breath of god

Impossible bereshit gazes at itself in mirrors and emanates its gaze outward – word autogenes
//

Mirrors mirror moth monstrosities and treasure field
Field the is are divine
Treasure you that
Moth power everything having the are space
Treasure of Christ devours impossible and self births Taryn-Treasure-Taryn

There is something monstrous about mirrors