I Seek The Night Train

Jesus says, Let one seeks not stop seeking until he finds.  Whenever one finds, one will be troubled.  When one is troubled, one will marvel and will reign overall.

I seek a wilderness and its wild reveals field train     Its wild conceals train spaceship and I species space     I species space the speculum that doesn’t shine and I continue to seek this is where time becomes space

I seek a strange space stereo stations of the cross

I seek and I do not find but I step wild pockets temporary time

I seek night train syntax and the communion of saints

Saints shoot street photography     Saints shoot chutes and ladder street photography black-and-white mercy street     I shoot straight left leviathan angels and angels choir black organ mercy street    

I seek syntax saints night trains and train continues street strophic / street soap significant curves and surfaces     Syntax strobes saint surfaces surface night train spirals     Surface salt spiral stereo desert, the continuing train sand stretto developing variations

I vary night train rotations by the sonata cell and cells slip saint rotations     Night train shifts desert slip inland empire

Taryn night train rotates salt permutations and saint combinations, and church surfaces aporia / approximate acids

Taryn night train rotates tic-tac-toe additive train tessellations

Taryn field rotates spaceship not separations but intersections     It appears in the same perspective as the night train but this transforms into a building: ben adam and ben hinnom     The building beguiles as tower of babel and my body bricks black body without organs / ouroboros brutalism

I split night train into three parts and three themes: Taryn night train topologies topos tapestry triangle archangels     Taryn topos theme reaffirms theme: the first theme based on the superimposition of two shifting rhythmic patterns, one changing and one fixed

I experiment with theme and themes play: themes play changing rhythms, shifting rhythms, combine rhythms     I contemplate and experiment with Olivier Messiaen’s shifting rhythmic repetition     Messiaen plays additive rhythms, non-retrogradable (palindromic) rhythms, and his rhythmic personae (three rhythmic groups are in action, says Olivier Messiaen.  The first augments (this the attacking character); the second diminish (this is the character who is attacked); the third never changes (this is the character who stands aside))     I listen to more Olivier Messiaen and his modes of limited transposition impress minimalist train theme theater and happening

Theme travels night train taryn text and her text tones Sun Ra Arkestra Yahweh of Hosts ghosts      Theme ghost slow shows continuous snow     Continuous snow contaminated discontinuous snow and snow void sifting sifted from refuse settling snow

Theme hosts ghost lights sabbath film lanterns     Theme hosts ghost snow winter music leviathan / serpent leviathan     Serpent theme trace salt ghost theatrics     I act theme theater acts of the apostles all historical ghosts     I act theme apostate and host ghost heresies     I travel ghost themes sabbatai sevi salt / travails and travels messianic pangs or ghost trains     Ghost train tape night train and the doe bites doorway other open eye

Taryn night train inhabits downtown theater of the absurd     Taryn night night tinkers thumb piano theater and stage stabs strange aporia against: against ben hinnom body without organs     I play theme against any standardized approach but playing without memory / I experiment nonidiomatic improvisation     I improvise with and against night train and god theme ghosts: I improvise impossible ink immortal row oak ink oar     My ink enters ark unfinished and although I never complete the ark, I continue to perform the ark work

I play the night train theme and experiment     I experiment night train here’s how I play: I start from one point and go as far as possible

I play theme Christ as pelican and Christ as archaic human skeleton     I play pelican plastic time strange space morro bay / these are the breaks break it up break it up break it up     I break up the bay beat may grey ghost gods     I break up beat ghost god gospel sayings and say the sword between kingdom of the skies     I skip stone skies silver night train tannin

I play Taryn Tannin night train leviathan     I play sayings gospel and holy ghost drives me into wilderness let him who seeks cease not to seek until he finds

I play pink pigment passages passages action painting impaling     Night train impales theme bay of blood / twitch of the death nerve bay of pigs (I was planning to paint my house anyway; writing on the walls was just something I would do)     I play paint pink walls: wall write well hell in a cell     I write a cell well wall woman within     Wall writes skating rink rhizome witches

Towards Theme

Towards theme Through to theme traffic television: I tour television thermal tetragrammaton glitch mix rhizome I tour tone towards theme wild and through theme to desert, Taryn tenors theater turnaround

Towards theme I travel theme thought experiment: I speak to Descartes evil genius or Maxwell’s demon (I play a game of skill with molecules)

Towards theme, her theme interrupts and seizes my brain brine knock knock jokes (Knock knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke Who? Luke through the peep hole and find out.) I travel theme abrupt tourism but the amp says I’m fucked I travel theme as Taryn and I listen to The Theme (Take 1) by the Miles Davis quintet I improvise theme false starts and zebra-striped street heroin but the map says I’m fucked No matter: I fuck the map and continue crash bash bricoleur rhizomes

I accept theme transition transition first epistle to Timothy I transition theme labyrinth spiral labyrinth (Taryn traps various segments of my body monopole laboratories) Taryn theme tap turbine textiles textile turmoil I type theme tinfoil syntax: tip syntax free jazz textures

I texture free jazz textile ran into the flame beat out the train / einstein on the beach train theme I texture future free jazz trains rain rampage

Towards a repetition of the theme (theme thunder taryn and theme taryn triceratops) steps door hinge blow gun (Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, cow says moo!) (Can you tell me specifically what positive differences I had on your life? I ask Taryn. Funny jokes, stories, no judgment about silly stuff like cows and the hunchback, she says)

Towards a Taryn repetition and repetition of Taryn: doubled stations of the cross car large color field canvases

Taryn tightens theme staccato and she sticks aporia ben hinnom (they all lower me to the soil stick him they all lower me to the ground stick him)

Taryn testifies theme toccata staccato glossolalia Taryn speaks theme fiery tongues and erotic tongues / pornographic jazz textures

Theme thunders Taryn El Roi rapt rhizome

Theme thistle whistles El Elyon witch windows I watch windows veer weird vision long and winding road (road repeats rhizome the melody prayed in a higher register) I improvise melody earth el saturn records and she presses copious amount of records from Sun Ra and his Solar Myth Arkestra

I throttle theme ark traces and gore genealogies: Ark of Noah names and renames mappa mundi son of man (the map says we’re fucked) and I eat ark insect apartments I wrap the sap of my body in ark maps and the waters surround non-euclidean hell hounds

Theme thumps human skulls titanium white Theme legend trips haunted tectonics / Taryn attack trap set impossible earth polyrhythms

Theme thrusts human tissue transformed shadow figures Theme trades my shadow thin turpentine turnpike divides

I record this theme repeatedly because theme sticks my thought tar muck blown glass black but I try to temper theme aperiodic tile timeless I tend time with theme and I know something between time here: here theme trades blade timed cannons Theme threads tendrils / thread medicine syntax Map fuck syntax and tome theme free jazz communion rapid earth eucharist

Theme troubles me Theme troubles nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen nobody knows my sorrow

I would like to send you some metacommentary from the book, I say to Asia.

I sometimes feel embarrassed about the conversations I choose to record because my conversations simplify and come off as naive I can’t hide behind an occultation of piled up symbols, sigils, and metaphors The conversations feel so different from the rest of my writing and I haven’t successfully integrated it completely with the rest of the Book (does it need to be integrated with the rest of the Book? Does it even need to be cohesive with the rest of the Book? Or can be like John Cage’s music and Merce Cunningham’s choreography and exist separately together? I choose all these and none of these: multiplicities and rhizomic functionalities) I must allow for embarrassment and foolishness because they too prophesy
...

Something I didn't mention is I fear simplifying or portraying our friendship incorrectly, I say. Maybe I will write about that in the future. It’s interesting that you view other than the conversations as “hiding behind piled up symbols and metaphors” says Asia. Is that why you maximize? I think our conversations reveal and the rest of the Book conceals in mystery in a way, I say. I think the rest of the Book indeed is shrouded in heavy metaphor for various reasons, but one reason is it is not embarrassing and openly foolish. I think the conversations are the opposite of hiding behind piled up symbols and metaphor. They are naked and open, I say. Shouldn’t all your writing be open even if it isn’t an excerpt from your personal life? says Asia. Could you tell me what you mean by open? As in not concealing you or how you feel. I feel a complicated relationship with it, I say. I feel everything I write in the Book is me. The difficult anarchic patch quilt and the conversations are all me but there’s different levels of accessibility. I often feel more comfortable expressing myself in the experimental language that pushes towards the anarchic kingdom. I find it more difficult to express myself plainly and making it poetry… Guillermo Del Toro says this:

"People say, you know, ‘I like your Spanish movies more than I like your English-language movies because they are not as personal,’ and I go ‘Fuck, you're wrong!’ Hellboy is as personal to me as Pan's Labyrinth. They're tonally different, and yes, of course you can like one more than the other—the other one may seem banal or whatever it is that you don't like. But it really is part of the same movie. You make one movie. Hitchcock did one movie, all his life. "

I feel similarly but I do feel like there are differences in the parts and they express different ways of saying the same thing. The Book is One Book, many different ways. I'm trying to express all those ways with equal technique and poetry. I feel I haven't gotten to that point yet with the conversations and metacommentary but I do feel the other stuff is just as personal, just as Ben and Asia. I just lack the technique to make the conversations and metacommentary as POETRY but I'm working on it. Makes sense, says Asia.

I write One Book One Theme: Taryn thousands photograph graphomania I record One Book One Theme: Taryn turboprop trickster her tightrope to my toothache Theme transforms trumpet tricksters thousands togethers (Theme thunders Taryn El Roi riff ray rhizome) Theme transfers thousands train engine orphans: ran into the train beat out the flame I beat out the flame einstein on the beach train theme (train / trial / field with spaceship)

Rain into the train beat out the flames train trial field with spaceship Taryn time than train ensemble with solo voice and choir joining at the end Taryn tool train theme trial table network / taryn train theme field with spaceship

I rain nude run night train theme theme developing variations

I write one Book one theme the explanation of the parable in secret It appears in the same perspective as the night train but this time transforms into a building building ben hinnom babel brutalism

Three parts and three themes triage Taryn archangel trinities

Here’s how I play: I write one book one theme I play the theme and I start from one point and go as far as possible

Book Begins Blue Velvet

Content Warning: mentions of suicide and acts of violence

Book begins blue velvet / she wore blue velvet violence and the bodies sphere pack pigeonhole principle     I told him I had always wanted to sneak into a girl’s room to watch her into the night and that maybe I would see something that would be a clue to a murder mystery     Mystery maps musculoskeletal, clue cord shinbari body mystery lasers meta-linguistics, spelling coptic language hag nag hammadi, and apocrypha fuck my apartment     Apartment autotransforms acanthocephalan and worm wastes grove worm     Wrestles witches climbing jacob’s ladder and I ascend and descend the body of Woman     Worm surfs Wittgenstein ordinary language and I mineral the mess methane underwater gorge gas god Jenna Marbles everything is glue     I sine my apartment to the angels axles wheel in wheel woman     wheel in a wheel witches   Mystery approaches the monastery, Christina cloisters castanets chattering the masque of red death     Mystery mackerels messianic acid, honeybee valley, the flow south sedimentary deposits     Mystery multiples Melissa virus vertigo androids acid-washed jeans     Book implies mystery, meningitis marauders, words injected into the spinal column and vertebrae vaults Library of Alexandria / scrolls spinor split majestic     Book borders blue velvet, pornographic boundaries     Word fellatio     simple syrup cyclops     it means there’s trouble until the robins come     Robins round femme fatales and Taryn enchants     entices     hypnotizes / enchantress     seductress     witch    She wails horror shaman medicine woman     Lilian Gish gown gambit giraffe     Book blends beads a love story in the city of dreams and her hermeneutics tiles landscape dreamscape     The dark-haired woman assumes the name Rita after seeing the name on a poster     I drink the dark-haired woman’s blood blossoms, body red herring horrified body     The dark-haired woman roulettes ring around the roses and relieves its plague pseudohistory Bodies buboes black death, detective duofold flashing dark surfaces and children choose hiding / hide-and-seek submarine     The matte painting medinas Mulholland Drive and my involuntary memory pictures piecharts or Danielle’s confusion of suicidality and I too solicit suicide     I solicit Gospel suicide doors and Jesus built my hot rod / Speed Wallace racing to Bakersfield     Evangelion violates vertigo surrealism / wild hog hypnosis Evangelion exhibits nude expression, bodies on the beach barbarian godspel     Godspel spools spikes the spear of the Eucharist, and Eucharist grounds in God’s remains / Benjamin being      Godspels speak girth, the grip prophecy and my prophecy sparrows altered states of consciousness / collection cain cryonics     Prophecy panes impasto, thick thought piracy, and consciousness comes as a thief in the night nude naked leaving its clothes behind the garden     Gospel weasels sludge metal, a slow wax wicked, and Christ kisses Woman, Mary miscarriage or memorabilia     I film Gospel on digital video, and Christ speaks with a vocoder     Jesus jams robots with Daft Punk retro-disco seventies spirits spiked with deliriants     I capture Gospel on digital cameras, handheld hell hole in the wall a woman in trouble / it is Hollywood itself that is dreaming     I sleep Gospel iron grates gatling gun misfire, and the sleep sludge metal performs Songs of Solomon in slow motion    The Gospels noose or nose gnosticism and the eschaton rains rhema Seed of Seth     Seth seers soul Taryn transparent and she sheds shiny the serpent belly     Seth meshes the afternoon with gnostic inland empire / The Empire Never Ended     Seth mars moths miller, Seth surrounding Seth, and my apartment alludes ellipsis the Advent     Advent etches antique gemstones Abraxas, an angular Abracadabra     Seth theos Greek Magical Papyri and chants magic or sacred names     Names numerated God geometry the sides or ratio of the courtyard of the tabernacle     Names number nous surreal sidereal, and astrology ages elements     ego     ethereal / body dipped or baptized in Adonai asphalt sabertooth cat black tar     Abraxas contains three hundred and sixty-five, a Yahweh year     I casket Chronos cain coffin, earthquake cascade ghost forests     I cabin Chronos wild woodland woman and she works worship watchtower, time-in-translation and I tempt text / textual transmission succubus     Time timbers Michael Gordon’s XY and the percussion saints sabotage or subterfuge     I fang the ferry royal chapel / upside-down castle and Book banishes Buster Sword the Bash Brothers     Ferry forces mathematics the metaphrase phantasm and the Tall Man a thermoplastic televangelist     The sense of the serpent in you, Salome, slender with her fingers safecracking and codebreaking, and she buffers bitter  I meditate on VALIS by Philip K. Dick     It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality is to go insane     Yes, reality repeats retrovirus and it infects reverse DNA transcriptase / enzyme embolisms     Reality rots revolutionaries, battle at the blood bank and I think of the improvised body armor in the North Hollywood shoot out two thousand rounds of ammunition     Reality rope rudders Tienanmen Square Massacre, death derelict dangerous delicious corpses     Reality riot markets ruffians, sauerkraut surveillance the bodily archive     He started keeping a journal has been in fact, secretly doing so for some time: the furtive net for a deranged person     Book journals and journal books psychosis

I meditate on the crucifixion of Christ daily     I contemplate body horror a Cambrian explosion contortionist split body sections     The sections shoulder undead, Zebra Zombie or vision vampire forever veronica / flowers in her hair and silver bracelets on her wrists     Horror hydraulic horseback rides rhythm riddim the Stockhausen of stock character and they walk into slaughter     Horror hypes hyperlink, multiply connected and entangled hierarchy, and the strata hurricanes the spirit of spider crabs / alien animalia ataraxia     I splangle splatstick, absurd bodies the Passion of the Christ     I spackle splatstick, blood drying on drywall human waste wallpaper     I think about suicide often / the Empty Tomb suicide chases me / my god my god why have you forsaken me     Suicide subsists in Saturn melancholy and I listen to Sun Ra’s Arkestra, a jarring jazz cipher or formula / trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb     Tomb theatres transgression, god grand guinol     Tomb thunders / what the thunder said thanatos typewriter nothing and nothing annihilation     Empty tomb tumbles horror, undead Abraxas more indefinite still than god or devil     Empty tomb tetracyclines technology, teeter-totter trailblazer assorted tongues and teeth     Suicide across chambers Adonai ambient, a background noise gnarled music     I listen to Music in 12 Parts by Philip Glass and I have always enjoyed pieces of massive length     The length letters lost or loose time, time in the scale of prophecy and planetary orbits     Music becomes soundscape, a city surrounding my apartment music merges metropolis and gotham, a dark romanticism and baptize music in solar bodies, atelier asteroids and atom smashers     I live one lift leviathan livaytan music, length oceanic and lime tower mezozoic, a kind of Cain murder mushroom hallucination (note: the chorus throughout sings in either solfege or in numbers)     Solfege spondees superstructure, the slap of syllables     Solfege stresses strontium titanium tintin tunings and the language laughs collapse, god agglutination     Numbers nary ocean labyrinths     Number nymphs nosocomial infections, an incarnation nocturn / this court of common pleas is now in session     Court chess chests columns     Court chess records country or rock and roll rust rare rhythm     Court cabin in the woods wears old west or weird west werewolves and vampires     I was in this prematurely air-conditioned supermarket and I was reminded of the fact that I had been avoiding the beach     Beach Benjamin belly whale: grey whale     blue whale     right whale     half-hour long humpback whale songs     Beach multiplies Beach bathroom raelian moby-dick     Beach scatters Beach order rotas opera (the opera eschews traditional narrative in fawn of a formalist approach based on structured spaces laid out in a series of storyboards)     I dislike much opera but this minimalism matches my non-narration or mythology, the tacet of toy trains     Perhaps this text transforms into libretto, the speaking-singing voice-visions resounding amphitheater     Book hollows open in amphitheater and cantilevers, a sustained concrete conversation / compact rebar Benjamin brutalism     Whale wraps Book concrete, blue opera ocean, and deep sea solfege records ice calving, julia january     The music assigned to Einstein demonstrates a circular process, a repeating cycle that constantly delays resolution / Book does not end but spirals themes God KRYSXTRYN new whales new mythology     Book does not end but ruptures interrupts earthquakes as crucifixion-resurrection and I sand seas the sarx of saints     I rascal birch and beach, the burden of the valley / Book begins beach ayin