It is scribbled along the body

I scribble along the body holy spirit (Holy Spirit scribbles proportions and harmony: in line with the law of proportional division of the chord, the matrix of all earthly phenomena unfolds as a network of coordinates, fractions, and multiples)

It is scribbled along the body and I scribble the body holy ghost     Scribble flesh fractions invert factorial flesh / flesh unfurls chord multiples

I scribble along the body holy spirit     I scribble along the body long body bad bad brains     Scribble asemic scrawl brush blown body beach (long screech scrawl owl Taryn   language long body Lilith Taryn)     I scribble along the body crab canon riverbanks

Scribble scribbles something other.  Scribble scrawls cave murals and cave magic, and my body comes alive in shamanic animals.  My body alive draws spirit to spirit and I draw animals of my body.  I draw my body animal animal other on walls and the scribbles fall large stones.  Scribble scribbles stones and falls stones my body all stone.  Animals carry my body all stones equally animal.

I have tried different planners before and none of them worked, says Asia.  What did work was incomprehensible notes scribbled next to grocery lists, lecture notes, and drawings of snails, she says.

Incomprehensible notes scribbled only body work.  I scribble the incomprehensible and the apophatic on my body: I sign the cipher King Felix in the shadow actions of my body.  The incomprehensible works in the contradiction of bodies, and the scribbles of snails work in the mystery of bodies.


//
It is scribbled along the body of Christina

I feel unreal without Christina and I awake in this dream you see.  I awake alone and I disappear: only desert remains.  No ben, no Christina – only Book of Sand.  I choose my body in the notes and scribbles and I scribble different futures with different versions of my death.  I feel unreal without Christina but I continue to prophesy every possible dream awake and all desert remains.  I prophesy my bodies as the unknown provenance of the Nag Hammadi Codex.

I struggle the writing and it all appears as scribbled and language abstract expressionism – it means anything, everything, nothing.  I continue to struggle writing and I don’t know how to integrate other material (e.g. conversations with Asia) with the passion passages in the play of grief.

It is scribbled along the body of Christina.
//


I scribble along the body spirit     Long beach scrawl scribbles Taryn screech owl and Taryn Lilith     Taryn scratches my body esoteric sigils (sigil sign citadel / flesh fortress of solitude)     Taryn spills sigil and signature the bone scribble of my asemic body     My body broods cursive and sign blues (the sigil of my body leads to the rhizomic river)

I scribble my name on river and riverbed.  Far away fires flare up red fox tails along the river.  I walk the stream bed with a knife: I walk the stream bed swans and geese armed with bronze swords, and their feathers swing hot jazz.  I adorn my nude body with bronze blades and bronze mirrors (It is proposed by some authors that the northern warrior tradition originated from hunting magic… Three animal cults appear: the bear, the wolf, and the wild boar...).  I walk the wild riverrun rivers and animals jump up from the riverbed.  I worship the animal Asia Rivers.  I worship the animal Asia Rivers Riverrun Rainforests.  I walk her river insect word and I scribble complete metamorphosis on my wings.  I worship animal mother Asia Rhizome, and we trade giant weta in her seven waters.

Taryn scratches my body esoteric sigils and I sign my body nonsense    (Toward tense present nonsense     Tense tension Taryn instead of Christina nonsense)     Tense Taryn scratches moonshine nonce monstrous moonshine     Tense Taryn meteor myth and mathematics (Taryn tensor myth / how do I get unstuck from my paralyzing grief and write fluidly     I prophesy fluid phantoms monstrous moonshine)     Taryn scratches toaster oven ostinatos on my french fry body / Taryn bakes ben bodies and creepy crawlies     I crawl dead mall millipedes by snail scribble shopping lists     I crawl mall rat king sigils

It is scribbled along the body (I scribble the body and Taryn articulates a talking dog on television.  The second articulation establishes functional, compact stable structures, and constructs the molar compounds.)     I scribble on my body cadillac constructs constructs noise electronics

I try different planners and none of them work (I have break different crisps before and none of them worked.  What did pink new incomprehensible notes next to grocery notes, dandelion notes and drawings of brooms.)     What did work planners before as drawings of snails lectures lecture notes scribbled next to grocery lists, lecture notes scribbled next

It is scribbled along the body lecture notes scribbles next to grocery notes, lecture notes scribbled next

I scribble along the body holy spirit (I started to teach my daughter how to draw letters, says Asia.  She drew good A’s so I took a picture to show my partner but circled the A’s she drew, so she started circling all her A’s.  In the drawing I sent you is an A with a circle around it.  It is a sigil, says Asia.)

I scribble across the body sigils and sigils circled holy spirit     Taryn spills sigil and signature the bone scribble of my beach body     Body beach babels desert kingdom (free your mind and your ass will follow   the kingdom of heaven is within)     I scribble along my body black bundle beach nerve light neon nervous


//
It scribbles along the body Christina

I listen to True Love Waits by Radiohead and I reminisce Christina:
I’ll drown my beliefs to have your babies   I’ll dress like your niece and wash your swollen feet     Just don’t leave don’t leave     I’m not living I’m just killing time   Your tiny hands your crazy kitten smile   Just don’t leave don’t leave     And true love waits in haunted attics   And true love lives on lollipops and crisps

Christina left but but the Kindred lives in haunted attics.  Kindred grows impoverished on lollipops and crisps.  I live in haunted attics (I wrote a prose poem in college about haunting Christina’s attic.  I should find the poem and rewrite it).  I always haunted her attic / I was a prisoner inside her skull.

I write with or without Christina but she always haunts my attic – she spelunks holy spirit skulls.  She spelunks my body scribbled holy spirit.  She sketches my skull skinned hauntological or body horror happening.  (What would my performance art body horror look like?  What would my scribbled memorial to Christina look like expressed as body  horror and slasher movies?  A videodrome monolith vision stirring moonlight.)

I witness to my life with Christina and without Christina.  I fume and despair: I dedicated the Book of the past few years writing my friendship with Asia, and Christina appeared less and less in the Book.  Ironic how Christina’s absence utterly interrupts and corrupts the Book, and I fixate on her absence.  Christina’s absence and the death of the Kindred strangles the writing and dislocates the hip of the Book.  Her haunted but absent absence seizes my brain and I slag slate sleets of sound nonsense to create any writing at all.  I ponder if I write more about Asia and I, I could write more fluidly, more often, with greater continuity – but how could I ignore the dolorous wound and Christina waste land left in the void of her love.  My true love waits for her eating lollipops and crisps.

It scribbles along the body of Christina
//


I hack the stream with sharpened insects     I scribble with mutant knives / mutant knives knit gnarled bodies     Gnarled bodies swim scribbled insects (ben bodies between ben bodies book roses)

It is scribbled along the body (ben body between ben body book roses)

I loop light     I loop light loupe inoculating loop     I loop light low light please be mine share my life be my wife

I loop light     I loop light lure inoculating loop     I loop light low light please shut out the lights     Shut lights off loops screw in spirals

I loop light and Christina a proponent of new complexity plays Unity Capsule flawlessly     (Christina a proponent of new complexity loops light light lit unity capsule loops)     Christina a proponent of new complexity loops unity capsule lights

New complexity Christina calculates light loops.  Christina calculates inoculating lops loop light loops.  Christina calculates new complexity embedded in new complexity: she calculates the timing of nested tuplets.  She times loop symmetry loop: Christina share my life – be my wife.  Christina times the loop too concise with the light loop lops silence, and the loops outside time strike sound disintegration.  Christina calculates light tuplets stretching loop tuplets, and the tuplets sprout tent of meeting in the wilderness.  Tuplets spring factory fever machines recording Andy Warhol’s assassination.

I loop lights and lights lean into the rotations and translations of texts: texts in aggregates and texts in quotation (After I almost drowned, I decided I would never again be weaker than water, so I become a lifeguard.  On my first day of training, my instructor told me that there are going to be times when you’ll see someone in trouble.  You’re going to want to rush in there and do whatever you can to save them but you have to stop yourself.  Because there are some people you can’t save.  Cause those people will thrash and struggle, and try to take you down with them.  [After a long pause.]  What does that have to do with me?) (I want to save Christina.  I want to save Christina or at least help Christina and I wish she’d let me help her – but she also shows herself wiser than me.  She knows we’d be drown if we tried.)   I loop lights and lights lean into the rotations and translations of texts: texts in aggregates and texts in quotations

I loop light     I loop light loupe inoculating loop     I loop light low light please be mine share my life be my wife     Loop light low life light: be my husband and I’ll be your wife (a lucrative light meanders in amber light does not jeopardize your credit but melon-oil lamplights night)     Lamplight sight circulatory system set light

I loop lights and lights lean into the rotations and translations of texts: texts in aggregates and texts in quotations (I’ll go up in to here, it can’t possibly hurt.  All they will find is my beer and my shirt.  The riptide is raging and the lifeguard’s away.  But the ocean doesn’t want me today) (I survive any depressive cipher and I connect slow lights and waters.  I connect nets ocean and lights, each light blinking water void and void oceans.  I survive any depressive cipher and I wade deep ocean and death and I never die.  I never die but dive cipher ciphers walking oceans.  I never die god kind of blue and the blue will swallow me up chariot Elijah and Enoch.)     I loop lights and lights lean amber lights and salt light sulfur, and lights burn television texts: texts translate and rotate texts X texts assemble anew

I loop light     I loop lamplight light slowing circulatory systems     I loop light and see light (With her light I see the light: with light I see her.  Christina calculates lights and she arranges lights in circles and corners.  Christina a proponent of new complexity plays Unity Capsule and with her lights and I see the lights.)     I loop light and I see her lights: I seer light and prophesy blood     I prophesy light blood bare black painting bath     I loop lamplight whale sight seeps seer sorcery and ben bodies book subterranean

I loop light and I condense new complexity into Christina Unity Capsule superimposed on Gin Blossom’s Hey Jealousy (You can trust me not to think and not to sleep around and if you don’t expect too much of me you might not be let down ‘cause I really want is to be with you feeling like I matter too If I hadn’t blown the whole thing years ago I might be here with you).  Christina made me feel like I mattered too; without Christina, I feel I matter less.  How selfish, but Christina would accept that selfishness.  I miss Christina and she calculates my embarrassment nested in my embarrassment.  I miss Christina and I expected too much of her: I expect her as a constant friend but I knew and she knew she couldn’t fulfill those expectations.  I loop light and I condense the light into blood blossoms and black paintings scroll that project into the amber light future futures.

I seer slate lights and I prophesy blood: slate bathe lights blood black paintings hanging her light     I prophesy lamplight whale sight seeps light seer sorcery and ben bodies book subterranean lightning     Ben boils boil light from light and light to light and the light loops loops black paintings hang

Lights loop seer subterranean     Lights lop loop see sorcery slate light

Lights loop see ben bodies / bodies nest body unity capsule

Lights loop lights and by her light I see the lights     By her lights ben bodies boil elephant skulls skull Christ / coin defleshed no tail but tetragrammaton

I loop light     I loop light low Christ share my life be my wife