Book clowns plaque columns cat curb quick Clown quick Book bat body ben bag of ob Ben shaman bag vast barbaric wild She clowns wild word beach pragmatic
Book clowns and adopts me as fool I fool body withered fig tree I fool body ben fig foolish foolish foul funk polystyle polymer Chain polymer book bicycle padlock / she lights the lights lock picking You the master of lockpicking light the lights
Book clown rope round fool monastery Monastic myth fool math: Book geometries Book geometry god geometries
Book butchers foolish farewell to the flesh Book butchers drag hag hell hands hole harp demon (A terrifying, screaming plunge to the depths of hell! BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE-DEVILS Mara – Queen of the black witches – and her wolf pack of voluptuous virgins invade Satan’s tortured realm of the unknown!)
Book bitter mara butcher Book mara mytheme methyl mer mast: flat malt marsh mara Mara mingle butcher tentacle Tentacle tree trunk car trunk butcher / henry portrait of a serial killer
Book mad mara myth butcher moth molt body magma / I wolfpack word witches Word witches bewitched ben body
The character clown adopts an eccentric character clown stations of the cross Clown stations of the cross a comic slant on the standard human face
My face further a human face My face seventh sabbath a face of flame and fire: a human face My face slant a certain slant of light (a certain slant of light she lights the lights human faces) Face fire physics fire forest
Body face butcher fire: farther fire further face Faster face fire abases (I never exchange the fire or desert; I never exhaust the face)
If an error is made in writing, it may be erased but a line must be drawn around it to show that it is canceled, and the whole page must be put in a genizah and a new began
My face an error My face an error made in writing
Error erosion eros error Error ram raft eye experiment I write error impossible (this written this scripture) Write error location of thresholds / Taryn at the threshold of the book
Oblique book error artifact Artifact act arkestra I do not erase but embed: a chain aleph embeddings embeddings
Error simply equals a lot of explaining
I walk a tightrope, a hang wire, a slack of rope, a piece of rope on the ground
Hang wire midwife: housewife hang wire I hobo wire writing I wire writing wolfpack and witches I walk whiteout hums pops clicks rumbles / rumble in the jungle rabbit wire Tightrope rhizome church Taryn
Hang wire midwife hangman: son of man cross suspensions Slight sounds no transition Slight sounds grounds subterranean Taryn I walk Taryn booby trap stake tabernacle Subterranean tabernacle striptease (she gave men everything they wanted – except her name – STRIPTEASE QUEEN)
I ride a horse a zebra a donkey an elephant an ostrich
Elephant error cedar seed sleigh swing Elephant error entry empty
I write a horse a zebra: Zebra, Vast Active Living Intelligence System stretched between star systems
I write a horse a zebra what zebra assembles alive
A horse a an and alligator A horse and an a animation hell A horse head hide a A horse head erase nonlinear lamb Lamb lime line last legs horses A horse hazard: a horse happening I ride a horse erase
I ride zebra shall threads embedded in large amounts of data Erase chase zebra chaste earth
I attempt to erase the seven names of god but Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay habitats hellion my through the looking glass head (my through the looking glass head skull cup crypt horses) Yod-Hay-Vav-Hay husks hell through arkham asylum ben hell and I dissect insect dozens crawl between my eye sockets I pin beetle wheel wins to Yahweh throne and chariot and Yahweh sees a through million compound eyes compounds
I attempt to erase erratic sea eye see insect galilee Erase erratic sea radial sea seven names nuclear warheads Rhizome sea seven slow drone names of god any Yahweh Haveheh whore the moon is a harsh mistress Moon murk mottle butterfly bottle / ben bottle body holy sons soot spirit spaghettified malchut Malchut mistress meninges horse meat infects ben brain I ride a horse a zebra grosse fugue fat ostrich I ride horse figure with meat brain bore inflammation afterbirth Malchut lilith lights the lights mal I low strew stew infant a baby eater breaking up my pieces and dipping my bones into broth
I substitute myself in the role of lion tamer I figure with meat meat sideways and spent a long time catching up
Meat went meet tent meeting revival Tent walk meet mass Christ candle Tent sideways mass meek shall inherit the earth
What do you live for? I say. Why do you keep going? Curiosity, love, a desire to build and build better, says Asia. That's lovely, I say. How does one construct oneself after the destruction of God? There is a core to you that has always been there, says Asia. It probably brought you to religion and it probably took you out: find it and start there, she says.
I erase Yahweh – no, I place Yahweh under erasure, and the name embers eddys ever name Name explicit empty every name Name annual uneasy every name I eat name knot not erased I name poison oak poison sumac succors every name His name nacre nazca lines her name her then new neon on / brooks and dunn neon moon
Name every name newt now name narrows Name bond book stenosis stone bone stall name: my name her name knock knot bone Name now ben bone new name its auto other: auto other often god now ground ben bone name Name nude annihilation naked name nature Name natural mirror name now naked no god
Like a rose among thorns my beloved among maidens Maiden mixolydian desiring-machine disjunction inscription hymnen her names Her names gnostic hypnotic ambiguities body without organs ominous gods (the body without organs never god excites energies sweep holy spirit ben adam din divine)
My eyes squint squirting flower and I clown god I find god fool doing just about anything with a rubber chicken
Conversations With Asia 07/03/2020 5:28 AM
I was writing some of our conversations in the book today, I say. What conversations? About pacifism and property destruction. I also might write about our prophet talks too. Go for it, says Asia. I’m surprised you still consider me mostly sane and I appreciate that, I say. If I have learned anything over the pass couple of months it’s that our brains are not rational and we shouldn’t expect them to be, says Asia. You’re also aware of yourself so it’s hard for me to think you are insane. In my mind, crazy people are not aware of themselves or the effects of their actions. Like the people who I have met before who call themselves prophets, and my mother. Another thing about your writing. It doesn't matter if it’s prophetic or not. You are writing from the heart, and from your own experiences and understandings – it grows and changes as you do. If just a handful of people read it and feel at home with god and their queerness because of it then that's something special. You helped save a soul… I think it’s a good thing you have doubt because it keeps you self-reflective and it keeps you in check, but there has to be some balance. Let go and trust, yourself and god. If you are reflective, open, and listening, then god and your intuition will guide you even if you make a mistake, says Asia.
I prophesy with or without I prophesy ap pl lp lep ap apophatic Apophatic prophesy ap pr approach: approach apocalypse no god eschaton
Not to erase Bible or not write Bible but write Bible as any other text and any other text as Bible Not to erase name Yahweh or not speak name Yahweh but to write name Yahweh and speak name Yahweh as any other name, as the name Taryn, Asia, Christina, and Krystal, and to write and say the names Taryn, Asia, Christina, and Krystal as Yahweh
I erase Yahweh – no, I place Yahweh under erasure and his name nib numbers numbers surreal every name / god gematria urgrund grammar fuck groundless god gods gut gem gethsemane lid lion mane mer Mer myth gematria Taryn hodegetria Mer myth children of men: men mass mass body geometries
I prophesy god gs gt gut no gods I prophesy shark jaw gematria plural greenland glossolalia Prophesy shark jaw harp half geometry Gematria tiles trial taryn fat tires off-road names Name mer mar man mass gematria no god molecular gastronomy / body astronomy ben body astronomy astrology amino acid asteroid
I received an order to conduct opposing acts. So when I met a Turk on a Greek street, I drew my sword and forced to speak the names of the First and Second [Sabbatai Sevi and Baruchiah Russo] and to make the sign of the Cross, and I did not let him go until, like it or not, he made it. Likewise, when I meet a Greek on a Turkish street, I forced him to say Mahomet Surullah (Mahomet is the true prophet) and also the names of the First and Second
I conduct opposing acts I conduct antagonistic acts I conduct contrary acts
Tourniquet tighten hacksaw rip graves filled
I conduct opposing acts Elliott Carter Concerto For Orchestra and Charles Ives Symphony No. 4
Blood flow brain destroy coffin lid open
I conduct contrary acts The Washington Post June 23 1912 WAS THE MOST GROTESQUE ANIMAL stegosaurus who lived in Utah ages ago is a freak of nature
Problems to resolve: the surface area of a triangle and parallelogram
First flesh second spleen or spirit First my face further My face hangs first fall Face first fist frack fingers grammar fuck Tetragrammaton fuck face gematria I first feast face fang fist feast phantom: phantom Sabbatai Sevi (if Sabbatai Sevi is dead, you best find yourself another god)
My face falls first first let us go to the field Face falls fault first first find field / face first fiend foundling flesh
I erase face fat flow fog transformer: transformer bone conduction contrary acts Contrary acts without contraries no progression Contrary acts no progression without transgressions
I clown contrary acts / I show the wrong in the original way of doing things I clown contrary acts / I show how to do ordinary things the wrong way
First face clowns contrary face melt tissue mixture Face mixes face monster features Disordered geometries or ransack interior interior I walk a tightrope rare hang wire Wire walks face of fire flesh urgrund body gap ben body falls face absurd sea salt / I can’t stand that baby cutting baboon buttface Julia Roberts
I ride a horse roundabout repetition I ride a zebra canal camel cone rhizome
Tag: jacobfrank
Writing Writer’s Block (Discard This Writing)
When I encounter writer’s block, a sure method to begin writing again is to copy the psalms My most used Bibles are the following: New Oxford Annotated Bible, Fifth Edition, New Jerusalem Bible, and the NABRE (I like the single column Little Rock Study Bible) I open the New Oxford Annotated bible and I begin copying from Psalm 102:
I am like an owl of the wilderness
Like a little owl of the waste places
The Robert Alter translation renders it:
I resemble the wilderness jackdaw
I become like the owl of the ruins
Robert Alter’s notes state the following: As with many biblical terms for fauna, the exact identity of this sad nocturnal bird is uncertain
A prayer of one afflicted, when faint and pleading before Yahweh A prayer for the lowly when eh grow faints nad pours out his plea before Yahweh
Psalm messianic secret or John Coltrane’s Interstellar Space
Psalm medium is the massage molotov cocktail malchut malchut murder most foul
I resemble the wilderness jackdaw desert a day star Son of Dawn Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz, and crows queer Christina Crows crossbow bend distangled desert Crows disperse then deposit desert word / word dawn slow Yahweh digestion Yahweh digests me I Eat Your Skin and I Drink Your Blood
Desert dew and desert dye / Son of Man comes as a dyer (The Lord went into the dye works of Levi. He took seventy-two different colors and threw them into vat. He took them all out white. And he said, even so, the Son of Man has come as a dyer)
Son of Man dyes Levi Day Star Son of Dawn
Son of Man dyes Levi day star Son of Dawn / she delivers the desert She delivers desert desert divergence Desert deserts divergent desert Different dyes diverge the curl Station of the Cross black paintings
(The names DAY STAR and SON OF DAWN draw on divine names known from Canaanite mythology DAY STAR – translated as LUCIFER in Latin and in later the passage was understood to refer to Satan’s fall from heaven)
Dye din desert digs desert dispersal and dye dispersal / light diffusion Light diffusion dog days summer (Philip K. Dick perceives these dog days as visitors from Sirius, the three-eyed aliens who transferred gnosis to Akhenaten)
Desert dew and desert dyes daft punk is playing at my house
(The taunt song apparently reflects mythological references to failed attempts by gods to challenge the rule of the chief god)
Elohim eddys Elohim Elohim eddys Elohim woman water circles Elohim eddys Elohim and Sibelius proceeds from a double cello solo through contrasts of busy sonic swirls and eddies and great brassy slabs of sound) (Middle English – scots – YDY, probably from the old norse ITHA)
Because of my loud groaning My bones cling to my skin I am owl of the wilderness A little owl of the waste places I lie awake a lovely bird on the housetop
(I copy a conversation I had with Asia and wrote down approximately 8 months ago, October 2022):
What do you think is the plot of my book, using Kurt Vonnegut’s shape idea? Plot? Says Asia. Does it have any characters or conflict? You’re a character, right? So that is one character. I can’t be the main character. No, but the main character interacts with you. So who’s the main character? The writer. The one writing the Book. The writer interacts with different women and different gods and different texts. The writer is the main character, and Asia, Christina, Taryn, etc are characters the writer interacts with and they double as gods. Yahweh is the main god. I think Yahweh is the main character, or at least the antagonist. That might be true. What if Yahweh is interior to the writer? The conflict then is the writer with themselves, as Yahweh. Sounds about right, says Rainey. You understand the Book then, I say.
Past ben and Asia accurately summarized the Book, I tell present-day Asia. I’m pretty amazed. Does the conflict ever get resolved? Says Asia. Good question. Do you think the conflicts in our friendship will ever get resolved? Maybe if the answer to that is yes, then I think the answer to the gods is also yes. I think they are being resolved, says Asia. I think then the conflict with Yahweh will also be resolved, although I think resolution is different from stagnation. I think it always be growing and developing and changing. Of course, says Asia. I think many people think their relationship with god or self achieves some kind of perfection or something, I say, and I don't think that happens. I think the process is infinitely deep, infinitely happening – imagine thinking God is infinite and you get to heaven and think you’re perfected in your relationship with the infinite. That doesn't seem possible to me, I say…)
Jacob Frank states: All religions, all laws, all books of old, if one reads them, it’s like turning your face backwards and examining words which have long gone extinct. All this originates from the side of death.
Radu Malfatti states: For us it was really necessary to do what we did – we’d had enough of jazz and free jazz, and we were eager to do something new, not knowing what the outcome of the results would be – maybe not even thinking about it. We only knew what we didn’t want to do anymore.
Olivier Messiaen recalled that during this period boulez ‘was in revolt against everything’; Boulez himself remembers that ‘it was our privilege to make the discoveries and also find ourselves faced with nothing.’
This NEW This NEW desert demolition demolition destruction destruction deconstruction
This NEW to revolt and rebel against the before: the before-the-artist and before-me tradition-before-me but I simultaneously affirm and transgress tradition I affirm tradition and I transgress tradition iconmaker iconoclast Iconoclast stations of the cross slashed canvas black paintings
New names new gnosis gethsemane
New names new gnosis golgotha
Icon iconoclast crucifixion crucifixions station of the cross slash canvas poured blacks Poured blacks and dripped blacks dreamy bruises boustrophedon scripts Book scriptures scrolls chariot letters and letters speak lightward death Lightward woman her my death I die a dyer of Levi I die Metallica’s Dyer’s Eve and the pools play Levi low leviathan
I suspect I unconsciously – sometimes consciously – revolt and rebel against Christianity and even Christianities My tradition and worldview: Christianity and not even the rhizomic always-already Christianity can rescue a certain claimed originary Christianity (my upbringing within the evangelical and fundamentalist church The fundamentalist and so-called restorationist church – this ind of Christianity pervaded, permeated, and penetrated my adolescence I revolt against this Christianity)
New Christianity and new religion which reveals no religion: my writing rhizome New faith my faith each time she saw him wandering form these but my faith My faith a near mysticism mystery to mysticism, and my manifesto merely traces and retraces scriptures scrolls codexes one alphabet one sigil one text This text Christianity
(Only a god can save us) (Only a god can save us, thinking itself transformed only by a thinking which has the same origin and calling) (My god language does resemble german language or proto-indo-european language or any one language but A LANGUAGE A NAME NEW TETRAGRAMMATON Taryn / her language house of being)
(Only a god can save us) (Nazi punks fuck off)
Yet a language not yielded Yahweh but Yahweh Yardbird her courtyard Her courtyard Taryn Tent of Meeting
To create a totally chromatic world by rapidly piling up motifs Particularly prominent motifs include a tritone and perfect fifth Perfect fifth flesh clings prayers: book of common prayer; all religions, all laws, all books of old
(I copy a second conversation I had with Asia approximately 8 months ago):
Do you think god resides with you? Me? says Asia. Yeah. If you mean that God was something outside of us that has to enter to make us whole, then no. What about one always already inside of you? That could work but then there isn’t really much difference between us. That's a good thing though, don’t you think? The more the same you are, the better. Yeah, I think so, says Asia.
I would correct this conversation slightly, I say to present-day Asia. I might say now, the more your true self you are, the closer you are to (your) god. That makes sense, says Asia. How were our past selves so smart? No clue. Wish I could be smart in the present. Me too. I think you are smarter though than you give yourself credit for. Probably, says Asia.
An owl of the wilderness a little owl of the waste places a little owl lilith
Here’s how I play: I start from one point and go as far as possible… But unfortunately, I never lose my way
Prophecy surprises even Yahweh Prophecy plays aporia Prophecy plays compact explosion Prophecy plays plays compact explosion anarchic earth Earth emet limit non-entry except excess No-entry except immediate erotic
gospel plays immediately erotic Gospel plays messianic Sodom and Gomorrah (I dream Gershom Scholem sits at the edge aleph sulfur Sodom and Gomorrah and in the salt pillar of Lot’s Wife, he sees the encoded signature of Sabbatai Sevi)
Gospel plays primordial language, the mesas chloe chloe black madonna Many margins polymeter margins polyester Martins mer margins stellar’s sea cow underwater cavities Cavity chrism caritas stations of the cross / water weights Water weighted woman mermaids
(I feel stuck so I copy another passage from the psalms I imagine the Book as a tracing and retracing of texts Texts embedded texts towers anselm staircases flood cave towers)
The sea looked and fled; Jordan turned back The mountains skipped like rams, like lambs
Sea looks I look Francesca Woodman Sea slows look sterling silver and her sea pays from one point far (a different psalm – I still feel stuck on the acid brown deteriorating pages she had superimposed sixteen photographs, added handwritten pencil notes, glue stains, and blobs of white correction fluid over ink and arcane mathematical formulae)
Slower sea sea sows looking glass fled Slower sea searches the sea look and fled a sea skeleton Sea skeleton coastal intercostal beaches immediate actions (Am I in the picture? Says Francesca Woodman. Am I getting in or out of it? I could be a ghost, an animal or a dead body, not just this girl standing in the corner?)
I photograph lightbulb filaments / filament fire psalms Fire flashbulbs psalms psalm pulses
Elijah, The Man of Spirit Madness, Part 2
Surreal serpent horror I hell in coward I coward pythagorean comma coma syntonic comma cower I copy a cowardly batman with my cowl Cowl coil scardey-cat scratches scripture simmers I simmer scripture primordial soup soup silhouettes shadow puppets Shadow puppet prophets play personal ambiguity / apophatic anarchy The mystical idiot Jacob Frank a parodic prophet playing grotesque parables and gestures and his vulgarity vines Vision The mystical idiot Jacob Frank bumbling through one adventure to another and I archer her adventure parody and anarchic heresy (It is clear that the world is purely parodic, that each thing seen is the parody of another, or is the same thing in a deceptive form) I am my own mirror prophet I am my own anti prophet I am my own false prophet Christ and AntiChrist harrowing hell Hell skull heresy hedged hollows / my skull holes hasten toward hornets honey bee battleships hazy hell hyperinflation Hell haze holes cosmic inflation / inflated eyeball indigo ink My eyes explode globe gatling guts Hell parody telephoto lens iridium iris solar corona cornea Hell hungry habitat (Beware of the hunchback: a freak of nature whose crimes go beyond your wildest dreams! HUNCHBACK OF THE MORGUE) Hell hundreds then thousands hunched over books encoded with gnostic secrets / swollen salivary glands where fat gods lurk I lurk leaked light lamp lipids and Elijah embolism etches my lungs foamy red sputum and shortness of breath Short of breath I still speak bereshit I speak tire spare wheel spoke bereshit bersehit bara blood benjamin her body book open I sample books blush blood bitter / machine mara carpenter’s sawdust I steal books blender helicopter decapitation Helicopter decapitation hospice hell spices spool bodies Bodies spool spin speak Elijah, the strange color of my skull’s tears Salamander skull Saber-toothed tiger skull Sand tiger shark skull Sandpiper skull Skull Sabbatai Sevi absurd messiah and strange deeds I secret strange desert deeds Desert deeds book of sand serpent seer Shake speaker serpent seer I do not strike serpent but seduce many secrets (The archons lingered in front of what they called the tree of knowledge of good and evil, which is enlightened insight, so that Adam might not behold its fullness and recognize his shameful nakedness. But I, the Savior, was the one who induced them to eat…) Serpent slime sneaks gnostic semen seed in desert dreaming Her semen spreads holy spirit eyetalks and she gazes globe galaxies gods Serpent gramophone glossolalia Glossolalia gods apophatic anarchy What kind of artfullness would it be for God to lead the world with the wise and learned? says Jacob Frank. God intentionally wants to appear to the world among the lowliest and basest, so that his power might be shown from such a place. Pay heed and look at me, there has been no greater simpleton than me, a person who would seem completely devoid of reason. But wisdom emerges out of nothing, says Jacob Frank Prophet a fool The man of spirit mad The lowliest and basest: trash layer (A new age is opening in which the holy, expected from the top, returns to the bottom, at the trash stratum of the alley, humble and noble, beautiful and suffering, alive and conscious…) Taryn Trash Towers a new Torah contained in parody: base pulp base play base pornography Taryn Trash Towers permutations of Torah (Ten of Staffs The Phoenix A symbol of the rejuvenating power of the stone Rebirth, strengthened by ordeals, renewed strength) (The Lovers Kissing The foreplay of love The elements recombined in their Minor Conjunction Their symbols represents conjunction This is a card of sex, attraction, coming together, partnership) (Queen of Coins With a six-pointed star of harmony and well being and a cornucopia Sensuality, health, prosperity, well-being) The lovers lewd light and nude light Naked light loft lovers cedars of lebanon The lovers liquid luscious lord liquefaction loom dream sensuality A sensual holy spirit A more sensual serpent holy spirit and lovers snake silmarillion mythopoeia / Taryn Theopoetics Taryn tenner tenor saxophone serpent theopoetics Lovers lurk lewd new light lovers Lovers lilt tilt light lewd new nude light lovers Lovers lewd light cohesion figure of liquids and their gods gemini jouissance / lovers join gemini twin Taryn Cohesion coagulates cobblestone striker still lovers Lovers latter rain lovers lavage / rainwater enemas rainwater rainbow enemas Enema immersion medical procedure as lover’s prayer Gross carnival bodies and documented medical bodies Foucault’s biopower power / knowledge diverse disciples of body black iron prison Erotic and porno break black iron prison / break on through to the other side Other side other sitra achra Other side sitra achra alchemy Locust lovers luminous alchemy lighter lavender lipstick Locust lovers ladder alchemy lavender light lipstick Liminal light litters lovers others sitra achra alchemy Others omen disorder desert desert lovers Desert lovers mirror mummies Desert not leaves but sand needles Nude lovers water levers litter body lovers Water lever level Mono Lake mob murdered bodies
Hour Of The Wolf Word
Desert deeper deep Desert darker dark Desert deeper dark Desert darker deep Desert dark sea sailwards dialectic dialectical demons demon abstract concrete Christ crushed car compacted Cross cross cask cross desert Desert divine dark deep cross Moon mystic moon mystery her moon initiates a blast furnace hot passion blonde blue dew / blue dew desert (What connects something to another thing What connects something else to everything else What connects everything else to everything else) (The Book) (Book The Book) Library of Babel / Book of Sand Library of Babel / Book of Sand / Zahir Zohar brilliance binds benjamin brilliance With a large enough Book (and a large enough Library), everything else connects to everything else and everything else leads to everything else A physical hypertext manifested as human bodies embedded in Book (books x books) I go to the desert to writer deeper Book and darker Book / Book bloodies bandit Book of Sand CG Jung in Liber Novis writes: Who are you my Child? My dreams have represented you as a child and as a maiden, and I found you again only through the soul of the woman With a large enough Book (and a large enough Library) everything eventually connects to everything and everything eventually leads to everything (Jacob Frank prophesies of the Maiden) Jacob Frank prophesies of the Maiden: And that is exactly what I told you at first, that the True Maiden is in great distress, and hides and preserves herself at the time when the other takes power… Nevertheless she shows herself sometimes in the shape of a dot, so that she might not be recognized in her form as she really is. That maid servant knows well that when the other one will take over the rule, then she will fall. When that one is filled, then the other is emptied and God set one up against the other…) KING FELIX Kenosis Kenotic Khora coral Khora King Krystal Desert crisis call stretch sting scorpion skin bring on the dancing girls Crisis copper conflict conflict core kenosis Kenosis the cave Kenosis the cavern (Christina crowned spheres Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil teams my body her tusks / Maiden dead mall moon malchut) (What connects something to another the thing What connects something else to everything else What connects everything else to everything else) (The Maiden) (The Woman and the Maiden) (KRYSXTRYN and Asia Rain) (Asia Rain) Conversations With Asia Rain 4/24/2020 4:54 AM I ended up changing my mind, says Asia, and that was because I had little doubts for awhile that I had suppressed, and then when I saw how certain dogmas were hurting people and myself, I started to change. I think this is where the sorties can come into play. Stories help people empathize, but they also aren’t threatening to people. They don’t put their guard up. They just listen. It won’t be instantaneous but it can plant seeds… I’m still mad about my family, but I know my own journey, so I KNOW that people can in fact change. Not that they always, but they can and I think kindness and empathy are the best tools and skills that we have at our disposal. No amount of apologetics could have convinced me that homophobia wasn’t hurtful after I held my little sibling as they cried because my family didn’t accept them, says Asia Rain. I story tell and myth make Asia Rain connects my stories and myths into something coherent and cohesive Asia Rain ransacks my writing and makes the desert and sea converge (I converge at Cross Christ Christina) Cross conversation copula my cup clicks chrism / cricket clicks convergent city crucifixions (everything that rises must converge) I am a victim of your carnivorous lunar activities / I carnivore vertigo vision I swallow vision horror body basket batches Body batch snatched baker’s dozen desert saturated sud sand sap bodies body stuck stitches moon amputations (splatstick staple guns gonzo gore nail gun gonzo pornography paintball bronze sea bullseye feral hog hoax) Werewolves in a girl’s dormitory Dormant desert dormitory werewolf woman Woman hour of the wolf Wolf warp write worm wrap restless desert Wolf radial motorcycles (potato pornography and other root vegetables) Desert werewolves on wheels Book requires an absurd Book acquired absurd absurd horror horoscope hour of the wolf Desert drift werewolves on wheels wobbly goblin girls Desert sea desert dream Desert sea desert dream rhizome willow tree tree taryn spheres knowledge of good and evil I falter fail UGLY writing I continue to write my UGLY I continue to prophesy my UGLY Yahweh yardbird bebop gods I make jazz myth swung-rhythm monitor lizards I do not stagnate but sail ugly clipper claptrap heretic hustle I claim this UGLY as my own This UGLY belongs benjamin and I accept ugly disaster desert prostitute parousia Prostitute parousia parsnips (potato pornography and other vulgar root vegetables) Werewolves in a girl’s dormitory Dormant desert dormitory werewolf women David S. Ware woman hour of the wolf witch hourglass Witch hourglass bewitched benjamin My throat traces her threshold / rhizome heretics Heretic rhizomes heterotopia Taryn topaz tabletop roleplaying Roleplay ugly rhizome spinning tire rims / hubcap capricorn helios Sunspot speculum snapshots upskirts (consensual upskirts) Most motorcycles run on petrol… This one runs on blood! I bought a VAMPIRE MOTORCYCLE Motorcycle sundial oil drop desert I shape Book of Sand soul fire blur black bark hourglass and hourglass projects horror through the glass darkly Dark dress diaphanous walrus tusks truss trucks shooting stars Star strikes invisible extinction event uneven central nervous system Sympathetic nervous system hieroglyphics Parasympathetic nervous system handprint petroglyphs God peacock petroglyphs neural glia glass glint abominations glass glint newspaper abominations Tupperware warg gia carangi
I Prophesy Something Else
Content Warning: some body horror imagery I prophesy something else I prophesy something different I prophesy the shape of jazz to come and the shape of punk to come I prophesy no end ending no end free improvisation (a flatter jazz a flatter free jazz object-oriented ontology open opening open Khora Christ Khora Christ Krystal no collapse except flat) (a more flexible fire open artifact ouroboros open artifact ouroboros Norea’s ark ouroboros hyperborea frozen supernova Supernova otter pops supernova goes pop) I prophesy new psalm hermeneutics / Steve Reich’s Tehillim theme and variations I prophesy psalm radical hermeneutics where I invent ancient tradition and past present future interplay improvise interpenetrate plume of immanence I prophesy PURE PULP and PURE PROCESS Process plays prophecy, psalms for solar gods / Atem Adonai Advent I prophesy lighthouse hourglass god-haunted horror Haunted house hourglass set to the Hind of the Dawn Flattened hourglass showers sandspit holy spirits disrobed desert Naked deserts deconstructions / plural prophecy Plural prophecy and plural process sand flowing upwards Upwards parlour games gazelle stag films / houseglass homosexuals haunted house homosexuals homosexuals hourglass wormhole Yahweh I worship the homosexual god I worship the bisexual god I worship god non-binary (When a doctor finds his wife’s lover in his operating room, he performs a graphic brain surgery, rendering the adulterer a hallucinating semi-zombie. Now insane, the lover / patient hammers a chisel into the doctor’s brain) Hammer hourglass holy spirit Hammer hourglass god chisel Christ varying degrees of bone char bone char arrowhead hammerhead shark chewing godhead and Taryn opens my head completely, hidden sophia spark spilling sand upwards and otherwards Taryn scraped my skull tohu wa-bohu benjamin golgotha woman benjamin gethsemane woman Skull sketches psalm Skull sketches flat psalm hand hourglass palm tree garden Skull skips stone smooth primordial waters water woman skeleton Skeleton scar tissue Taryn torrent tiamat torture Clock torture and water torture / white room rat king KING FELIX Skull skips rips skin from stone bloody waters and bloody woman Bloody woman births bloody benjamin afterbirth / placenta palm hand hourglass palm tree garden Generous god gore gore genesis Graphic god gore gore genesis and my horns funnel hourglass sand upward upward woman water My horns funnel-filter mesopotamia myth into priestly genesis creator myth / monolith machine monotheism Global brain genesis generates gore god in human and its horns prod hourglass projections Hourglass projects Hourglass projects aporia my porous skull black pigment Desert black seeps sand upward under skin and Taryn tunnels tabernacle Adam Kadmon khora Brain gore many bereshit Brain gore oozing gores bara benjamin bereshit Conversations With Asia Rain 04/24/2020 2:54 AM Asia officially in the Book, I say. I’m famous! says Asia. I’ve been thinking of writing a couple of narrative essays, she says. One of your journey of becoming vegan? That might be one of them. But I could write about my mother, the two very different paths me and my twin took, homophobia in conservative households, growing up as a twin, and some not so personal things like writing about the daughters of the confederacy, schools used to assimilate indigenous peoples, and the social programs that groups like the Back Panthers put together, says Asia Rain. Recently, Asia and I have discussed how to give my writing – and the Book – more cohesion and more structure, and I tell Asia when I wrote through The Gospel Of Mark verse by verse, and how the return to the verse provided a kind of imaginative scaffolding I also suggested that our catalogue of conversations could provide a touchstone for renders, a theme to return to between free flight free jazz fancies Asia approves of both ideas What looks like a deadly herb on the surface contains a life-giving herb within, says Jacob Frank The stone the builders have rejected has become the chief cornerstone / I give my flesh pharmakon I fold my flesh a more flexible fire pharmakon A more flexible first fire and first Adam Adon Ancient (protoss of preface) (Protocol of preface pierces future anterior anterior to-go Taryn / her flesh hugs my flesh) (her flesh fire hugs my flesh burned as Book without being consumed) More open flesh radically naked naked name Nude body bath breath burial deserts (More – more as MORE More monstrous more monstrosity my myth between gods and colossus) Naked nuit nets name nude near nude name animal Naked mineral animal more anarchic acid flat flat blue (blue film repetition) Book naked pornographic prophesies photo parousia / second coming as cumming orgasmic Second coming as secret cumming serpent semen (I tell you everything and nothing, I tell you nothing and everything, says Jacob Frank) Hourglass horseshoe god glutton prophecy Glass glue brain gelatin (Sabbatai Sevi battles with what might now be diagnosed as severe bipolar disorder… He understood his condition in religious terms, experimenting his manic phases as moments of “illumination” and his times of depression as periods of “fall” when God’s face was hidden from him. While at times of depression he became a semi-recluse, when “illuminated” he felt compelled to contravene Jewish law, perform bizarre rituals – ma’asim zari or strange acts, and publicly pronounce the proscribed name of God) I wrestle with my bipolar brain I wrestle with my bipolar brain binomial formulas numbered flesh belly beast from the sea I wrestle bipolar grizzly bear gods gulf word salad and I clang klang krystal tlön cross (code in cross secret spirit) I synchronize spirit saturn sabbath with Sabbatai Sevi, and I too hourglass horror heresy heresy body horror heresy cosmic horror wholly Yahweh Yahweh illumination hallucination abandonment abaddon I fall fell felt hell Sabbatai Sevi I field feldspar keystone Christ and Christ copulated in the Bridal Chamber with Jacob Frank I burn barb wire they’re coming to get you barbara vulgar vision Vulgar vineyard vision porno prophecy (a romance in the nude! Tender love and inspiriting sacrifice in a modern eden THE UNASHAMED actually filmed in a nudist camp) (I still feel ashamed of my sexuality and body because Christianity castrated me with its puritan Cross Christianity keeps heaps catacombs sex workers and homosexuals, and church curses them hell hike height hell) (I need a greater pornography Vision demands a pornographic) My skull swears serpent slime Sabbatai Sevi My skull sweats slick dead sea scroll skirmishes / my skull schisms with Sabbatai Sevi Subtle book fractures book fraction fission radioactive skin (my skull sloughs other skin stretched parasites pretending symbiotic) I dream you Sabbatai Sevi I dreamfall body farm illuminations our prayer Albert Ayler jumps into the river Dream desert river Albert Ayler emerges air armless caravan Sabbatai Sevi and her fortress feints fuse stonehedge crooked forest Jacob Frank dreams many, even Sabbatai Sevi, and his dream demolish Sabbateans (my dreams deconstruct Christianity until only empty cross and empty tomb remain) Skull slaughters slain in holy spirit stacks of crushed cars Skull sly laughter stations of the cross silver car crash (double disaster) A body twisted in the mangled interior of a silver car Death and disaster dog star desert Projection of a flattened hourglass sand flowing upwards Extreme magnifications made the effect excessive, with the grains of sand forming a wave – I like patterns Stations of the cross station to station Book of Sand swordfish upward Sand seer I seer sand station to station (references to kabbalah, occultism, gnosticism, paranoia and other fixations that affected Bowie's mind at the time) Stations of the cross station to station seer sand I seer via crucis Christina Sand I seer via dolorosa desert Christina / only write the impossible I seer shaman star sand hourglass / my god impossible I shaman seer star sand stone and my stone steeps steppe tableaux scenes the Passion of Christ (the opening sound effect is a red herring meant to represent the stations of the cross, along with a juncture connecting two different stages of his career; it combines the funk and soul of his previous album Young Americans with the experimental sound he would explore on his Berlin Trilogy) Transformation tunes my skull antennae threshold (Tannin threshold Train threshold Taryn threshold) Transformation tunnels trickster time into my vein harpoon tabernacle / my blood inflates terror train transformation autobot transformer I write the messianic optimus prime optimus prime twin prime conjecture prime gap grammar god (On April 17, 2013, Yitang Zhang announced a proof that for some integer N that is less than 70 million, there are infinitely many pairs of primes that differ by N) Naked name number Naked number name Math myth malchut Keter to malchut station to station Stations transform me Her stations transform me writing Book writing I write sand flows upwards overward woman transforms me Flattened hourglass snakes sand flowing upward (Adam entered blithely, hardly knowing it was the ancient serpent, a silent screaming temptation) Flattened hourglass whore horror strings serpent sand flowing upward (Adam's desire rose to her siren; he lowered himself to the strumpet) I lower other harlot her wholly holy Lower interior other whore dreams me eaten alive / alice with crocodiles alice with alligators Often Adam ben I son son of man meet metal serpent copper psychosis (my psychosis Sabbatai Sevi psychosis strain straw alien hand syndrome) (Manic mixed multitudes meet serpent Sabbatai Sevi and we choir Tetragrammaton Taryn YHVH) (I pronounce the name as written acute triangle psychosis) Lower listen harlot hell her and i descend desert sand queer quicksand serpent slivers I shiver shaker I shake quicker serpent shiver Whore hobo fall flat hourglass her pornography projects projects sand flows upward / parousia flows prostitution Parousia pomegranates picks open palm prostitution Parousia pomegranates picks open palm prostitution Prostitutes populate parousia / Jesus eats with tax collectors and prostitutes Porno pale pinion pretty pinion play prostitute arcade pole position More mad open magicians and mystics / a world of Jewish mystics, thieves, and mad men More mad manic benjamin More mutually absurd destruction maniac benjamin mothers against drunk driving but holy ghost drives me desert Holy Ghost drives deserted desert derive decoupage dental work Mad more porno bastard honeybee pillowbook porno Grandiose manic naked grand guinol god god genus genius loci splatter spell other and fear of other / her woman her woman and asherah pole and I worship her body place porno but Yahweh fear and fantastic fear (fear of the proletariat, fear of the unknown, fear of the foreign, fear of the contagion – for all the blood spilled, sperm ejaculated, and sweat dripped there) More porno manic ben mad oracle I orate and narrative pornography / hourglass projection parousia panic porno apocalypse A pornographic mysticism and a pornographic mystery antinomian gnosis libertine light (libertine light a desert light dark light cloud of Mount Sinai) Poiesis and primacy human process Pornographic as original plural body body rhizome zebra-in-process Play as primordial performance, benjamin between between bereshit Poem plays horror exotic erogenous earth woman earth poetic body woman earth poem body process Shaman poets technicians of sacred Vision gong myth process Rock real rhythm Shaman-and-Magician language cultivates communalism anarchy egalitarianism flat hourglass god ben body Asia rainforests enfleshes my anarchy animal Asia rainforests transfigures my animal anarchy arrival, flat rain row raw sand hourglass gods flat flow sandscape all-animal all-human (What fascinates them most were the last convulsions played out on the decapitated face) Flat horror bodies bathed in sand flowing upwards Flat body figure with meat mutilation and the Seventh-Day Adventist camp meeting attempts to flay my bisexuality alive My bisexuality seeps bone seeks my machine unarrow and the pornographic Christ impales his cross as phallus into the calcium Poiesis Language process Sacred action I create re-create circumstances and experiences of the very real I enter into the landscape peopled with fantastic monsters and dangerous animals I enter her uterus the doe of dawn suffering in childbirth I drink the double vision Her Son of Man meets my Son of Man: the Messiah The Messiah Sabbatai Sevi and the charlatan apostate Jacob Frank I perform the poetry porno poetry paraclete poetry parousia I prophesy the androgynous body erotic, bisexual and nonbinary Child of Humanity Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live / thou shalt not suffer a shaman to live Christianity kills me many but more Christ resurrects / resurrectionists steal my body from the tomb and apply Dr. Frankenstein laboratory lightning My body jolts orgasm My body jolts gyroscope ouroboros orgasm great god pan orgasm grand guinol My gorgeous guts open church revival My genuine genius guts float holy ghost fire great awakening woman Woman awakes me The woman of spirit comes to me and speaks saying, Arise Ben Adam (She is my mother she is physician Woman, one who has given me birth) She midwifes my word She midwifes my word wild word wilderness (What if my prophecy is primarily your prophecy? I am concerned with writing you and our conversations. So your prophecy is transforming me and the book transforms me. Maybe, says Asia Rain) A bigger Book and a more gruesome grand guinol guts, gore splatter gods carousel circus cross carousel crucifixion roller coaster golgotha radiant red radiant red chariot work I work rawer woman magic I train taller Taryn Tarot Dense desert divine dew My secret salt-fire opens up the metals I salt the magic silver mirrors mercury and I drink poison / pharmakon passion I pinwheel woman passion for the stations of the cross Station to station From keter to malchut Jacob Frank's maiden Magick metals her maiden / through a glass darkly malchut Steve Reich's Mallet Quartet Mallet Quartet figure with meat mixed multitude i claim my seed of cain and serpent seed, and I Crown serpent Christ KING FELIX
Miles Ahead / Mixolydian Mode Stones
Moloch by margins my margins the maiden Matriarch maiden Christina Marie and her mercy manics many marys (Three women always walked with the master: Mary his mother, his sister, and Mary of Magdala, who is called her companion) Moloch Maiden Christina Mary Christina Mary Marie / porno polymodal Porno polymodal moloch mixolydian mitochondria Notochord mitochondria micropolyphony Micropolyphonic mermaid platypus porno playground gods gesture obscene occult borrowed bolo I begin reading Paul Tingen’s book Miles Beyond: The Electric Exploration of Miles Davis, 1967-1991 Some phrases that immediately stuck with me from page one, chapter one: Miles used to tell his musicians, When you play music, don’t play the idea that’s there, play the next idea. Wait. Wait another beat, maybe two, and maybe you’ll have something that’s more fresh. Don’t just play from the top of your head, but listen and try to play a little deeper. Don’t play what’s there. Play what’s not there. Don’t listen to what’s there, listen to what’s not there. Listen Listen what Listen deep then deeper: deeper than desert a deconstruction desert deeper than deconstruction Next desert then listen Next desert then desert other desert and alien desert I dwell desert deeper I dwell well desert but deeper and I listen wind woman I listen lady of the lake then oceanic swell woman Swell well woman dwell desert Listen Lady Listen Lady and Jacob Frank proclaims: I told you that there is one tower where the lady is hiding, and if she sees somebody she desires with all her might, she throws them down a portrait of herself… There is a lady and a tower, and there is a painting they call a portrait Listen lady desert light light translucent tower Tower lambert Taryn torches dark luscious leaf aleph desert Listen work wolf wolf woman Wolf woman wolverine worship (I worship Taryn Tower and Towers) (I worship Taryn Tower moloch local maximum dense desert lusk light) I listen stone I listen stone tophet Tower nested tuplet Taryn (Taryn track tack tome Taryn Tower and she trickster travel moloch munitions) I stay stone listen then listen, the portrait porno Christina Marie Marie magic moloch music music maleficum / moment movement Marie Witchcraft Molten moloch murals pillage play two-play toilet paper / Baal wanders off to find a latrine pagan god spirit shit Stone string and stone stem passover sacrifice I sacrifice stone stone Moloch to Yahweh and stone Yahweh to Moloch Stone to stone sacrifice all gods I prepare a stone cross I prepare stone cross crossing crossroads rib riddle Rib riddle rib rattle shaman stone Shaman stone subterranean I share stone strike Yahweh I sling stone Elohim goliath Giant cobweb Elohim and many gods jism joy diamonds flow ice from his forehead / dwell swell desert well wounds Many wounds moloch I bathe blue Elohim’s blood her Lazarus Pit I bathe brighter blue Elohim’s blued surgery sorcery usury cantos different counting of stones A different count of waters Well Woman Wave Weierstrass Function I machine stone maximum carnage I machine stone maximum carnage cloisters Cloister codes secret KING FELIX: secret stone secretes serpent slime cipher Stone cloister coheres decoheres towers: deconstructing towers desert discontinuous (desert discontinuous great attractor limitless labyrinth) (limitless labyrinths our lady) (liminal light our lady of czestochowa) Maximum carnage cloisters stone veil veil voces veronica Sotte voce veronica An unveiling that continually veils Yahweh veils my vision woman and she unveils my vision deeper veiling A veiling that listens Listen veiling our lady I have veiled visions black madonna / maiden materializes real material and raw material Real mason material ring rose babel Still more stone scratch graphite grimoire I sketch grimoire bird skeleton then bath skeleton several stones scattered (I count different variations of the stones I count different variations of the letters) I pin play porn pentagram parousia and Christ descends and ascends again stone hell (Man inscribed in a pentagram, from Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa’s Three Books of Occult Philosophy. The signs of the perimeter represent the five visible planets in astrology) Stone shell shade Stone shell serpent Stone share shell Sophia Stone shell serpent slime Stone scavenge skirt vulture venom vision Stone lasers magic lantern and the image imitates stages three stooges polyphony Stone slapstick splatstick god gore / I kick arse for the Lord! Play what you know and play above what you know Play as above so below bitter psalms / mary moloch Christina Marie, for Yahweh and made her exceeding bitter (Call me Mara for Shaddai has dealt bitterly with me I went away full but Yahweh has brought me back empty… Yahweh has testified against me and Shaddai has brought calamity on me) Play above what you know and stones speak peak fire plume pomegranate (Outer fire in the form of a cherub guides sulfur and mercury into the labyrinth of material transformation) I feel still steel stone searching (Listen) (LISTEN) (Who cares if you listen?) (The Writer as Specialist) Listen differently to these stones and count them differently Count stones among deserts Count stones among deserts between the deserts Desert deconstruction dance stones Stones steal fire salt desert Stone wheel wall Fire Woman / listen to the letters permutations Listen to the letters secret combinations / I crown Cain Christ KING FELIX Outer fire other inner fire My skull fights fire fog outer fire other inner fire Stone burns burning stone Stone burns burn stone blue streak draw drags stone over stone firing rain Rain fire broad blue stone brush and stone towers magic lantern Stone towers taller blonde blue Taryn and her magic lantern leaks vaudeville vision video video various stages shakespeare sparrow video varnish horsehead harness, her whores various video vixens stages of undress polyphony and polyphony and polyphony Stone cement and glass Stone blood and lace Stone apparatus approaches Stone stations of the cross Stone stereo stations of the cross Stations swell stones Stations swell kidney stone gallstones god gout guillotine Stone stomach stations of the cross crucifix by kilo I count the crossed one cross Crosses one cross no shade in the shadow of the cross (a page from Willem Gravegande’s 1720 book Physices Elementa Mathematica with Jan Van Musscheubroek’s magic lantern projecting a monster) (A monster projects a monster: the cross) (a monster mirror monster: the cross moloch monster Yahweh) Stone steps stone steeped stone stone several / spectral stone Spectral stone spirits glass glues ghosts (if he would know about the invention of the lantern he would surely frighten the cardinals with specters) Stone fire spirits then water spirits / moloch woman Stone fir fire spirits fox fractal fire (field fire pharaoh fire physics fire phantom fire phoenix fire)
Hemispheres Dissociate Apocalypse
Sometimes I begin again but I begin middle I begin middle in the middle here I am stuck in the middle with you and Christina cuts off my ear I begin my rhythms have to instead I begin my rhythms have to instead intentional over the barline a beam in your eye I intend my eye not autopilot but pilot waves / I intend my eye not autopilot but my eye looks pinched pilot waves Pinched pilot waves boll weevil odd rhythms odd time pilot waves boll weevil punch odd rhythms odd times / time tinted bone black charcoal black Time stone tumbled timid times halftime and Yahweh black seeps secret my bandaged bone I obsess time and I want my time intentional played fast tempos I tempo metric modulations polyrhythms strontium strata I mimic Charlie Parker rhythms, John Coltrane sheets of sound, and Elliott Carter metrically modulating and stratifying his string quartets / multiple rhythms times events simultaneous I frequently revisit the Book of Daniel despite its late date and its pseudepigraphic nature (from the introduction of the NABRE: strictly speaking, the book does not belong to the prophetic writings but rather to a distinctive type of literature known as “apocalyptic” of which it is an early specimen…) I admit I often combine the prophetic tradition with the apocalyptic tradition despite their distinctive (but overlapping) characteristics I prophesy and approach apocalypse I prophesy and approximate apocalypse with infinite summations / my flesh as fourier series I prophesy and approach apocalypse as a liminal limit, oral and written torah Tiferet and Shekinah Christina and the androgynous messiah Apocalypse apokalypsis revelation-in-disclosure revelation-with-disclosure I disclose desert I disclose dark desert rhythm black Moses and black Yahweh I deliver dark desert rhythm black Moses black Yahweh black Madonna (Jacob Frank’s encountered the Black Madonna of Czestochowa when imprisoned in the monastery, and Frank, fascinated by the icon and adoration accorded to it, appropriates Marian teachings into his own religion and spirituality… He equated the Black Madonna with his Maiden, the personification of the Shekinah… Pawel Maciejko states in his monograph The Mixed Multitude: Frankism was not about a male God who took a human body upon himself through a human woman, but about a feminine goddess who acquired a human form Jacob Frank too, sparked my interest in Mariology, a topic I’d like to further explore, and like Jacob Frank, map its imagery, iconography, and theology, onto my own conceptions of the Divine Feminine) Apocalypse Apokalypsis Revealing-unveiling-undressing-Yahweh revealing-unveiling-go-go-dancer-Elohim a literary genre in which a supernal being reveals cosmic mysteries or the future to a human intermediary I attach to the phrase Cosmic Mysteries I piranha parasite cosmic mystery proto-writing I scratch secret bone scribe an almost asemic writing river I river proto-writing ritual rhythm religion I river root proto-writing ritual rhythm rhizome religion Open religion open cosmic collects king fisher prophet I open impossible origins, origins originary origins apocalyptic khora Rhythm in the middle over barlines and origin always-already begin-and-ends middle intermediate intermediary I push origins over the barline Apocalypse originates without origin Apocalypse Apocalypse architecture line lunar eye apocalypse architecture line landslide eye my eye inserts insets intersects other eyes pile driver dog pile on the rabbit My eye iridium insects my eye iridium radiated insets but cockroaches survive marathon rhythm Banal rhythm this is how you remind me of what I really am Kitsch rhythm with arms wide open under the sunlight and my body dissociates a scanner darkly slow death dollface farces god as a tarantula Slow death dollface farces muscle fascia God as a tarantula compartment syndrome My brain dissociates a scanner darkly Akhenaten apocalypse and my disproportionate dark overdetermines my proto-book dot-alphabet protolanguage My brain dissociates separate hemispheres Philip K. Dick’s experiments: I had come across the fact that the brain can transduce external fields of both high and low frequency providing that the thermal factor is quite low… Also, I had read about which vitamins in megadoses can improve neural firing and vastly increased brain efficiency… I have no idea what PKD blabbered about and I suspect he had no idea either – but PKD attempted to open his brain radically open, even if through pseudoscience and new-age hippie bullshit – in any case, he influenced his mind into that SOMETHING ELSE and SOMETHING DIFFERENT I hypothesize through unconscious meditation or self-hypnosis he induced altered states of consciousness or a dreaming apocalypse (If I were a seagull, I would fly as far as I could! I would fly to far away places and sing for many people! … If I wish to the Wind Fish, I wonder if my dream will come true…) I too dream apocalypse I dream apocalypse and alchemy In my apartment I had a dream which will allow my spirit no rest until I know what it means, and the Axe John The Baptist cuts chisels Apocalypse Alchemy Alice and the supernatural beings rivers cosmic mysteries or the future to me, an archetype for Adam Kadmon and Second Adam and Sabbatai Sevi Philip K. Dick continues: I began attempting, on the basis of what I knew, to bring on both the hemispheres of my own brain using the recipe for megadoses of the water-soluble vitamins; at the same time I tried again and again to exclude the ordinary external electrical fields… Hemispheres hunt horror Hemispheres hunt horror cosmic horror and cosmic mysteries info hazards in the mouth of madness (God’s not supposed to be a hack horror writer) Hemispheres hack heights my brain and my brain brambles burning bush horror, and my horror busks Taryn the Huntress Cosmic horror and cosmic mysteries information-noise-narcotics in the mouth of madness (do you read Sutter Cane?) I read my own horror and I read my own brain / disfigured jazz rhythms Horror hits my eye nude spectacle Horror hits my eye Yahweh the male gaze I gaze gods genres literary apocalypse (Hey bikini-glad glamazons god-awful lounge music lumpy cheese graters and gore – what's not to love?) Hemispheres score sums slasher movies and my eye-for-horror terminates telomeres and I eavesdrop on a codec conversation between Colonel Campbell and Raiden: There’s a terminal, in front of the elevator, a node. Did you say nerd? Not nerd, node. Nerds under the brand name Willy Wonky Candy Company and the box contains two flavors, each with a separate compartment and opening / basically I start off with a sugar crystal and I keep coating with more sugar Sugar sex sex and candy my brain coats in carnuba wax has a hard bite and gloss My brain sugar hemispheres nucleuses composed of one or more complete sucrose crystals My brain internodes an ice cream elevate and then just to show them I’ll sail to Ka-Troo and bring back and It-Kutch, a Preep, and Proo, a nerkle, a nerd, and a seersucker too! My nerd brain internode a notched nocturne elevator and I write the book an anapestic tetrameter My brain nozzle internode enter interzone and I snort the world's biggest bird from the Island of Ghark, who eats only pine trees and spits out bark I snort nested tuplet hemispheres hook work rhythms and heroin time toggles hatchets with two calf-heads I snort her orifices hemisphere hangman / the torso tape player My brain taproots into the torso tape player / Max had a VHS tape shoved into his torso and ends up pulling out a gun I videotape her television trap razor barbed wire and I wire my brain into an electronic version of the encyclopedia britannica / long live the new flesh Benjamin heathen heretic apostate: long live the new flesh (Max’s work done, Nicki Brand shows him death is not the end as his body enters a new phase – THE NEW FLESH TOTAL TRANSFORMATION) My flesh flowers fire My flesh flowers franken fire and an angel of Yahweh appears to me as fire flowing out of a bush: I look and although the bush fires, fire does not consume My flesh flowers phantamagoria fantasm fantastique and my flesh facet folds fisher female My flesh fraks folds fire feminine fanged noumena The Angel of Yahweh: Hebrew Mal’ak, or “messenger”, translated angelos in the Septuagint… The Hebrew term lacks connotations now popularly associated with angels, such as wings… although angels frequently assume human form (cf. Genesis 18-19), the term also indicated the visual form which God occasionally appeared and spoke to people, referred to indifference in some Old Testament texts either as God’s angel, mal’ak, or as God… The Angel of Yahweh appears as Yahweh apparitions allotropes alicesaurus rex ragged rumble in the jungle Neil Young ragged glory The Angel of Yahweh attracts arrival my anatomy abaddon and Yahweh absolutely Yahweh abuses any anatomy anomaly / scrapple from the apple Yahweh absolutely Yahweh abuses my anatomy abyssus area arcadia the aquatic chasm vacuum Yahweh absolutely Yahweh abuses my anatomy abyssus the aquatic chasm long chain children Long chain children chasm black-eyed children and I write Mal’ak and messiahs campfire stories and urban legends My flesh changes as my writing changes My flesh changes channels brain television My flesh changes channels brain television clockpit target tlon taryn (I recall an extended quote from Andy Warhol: Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there – I always suspected that I was watching TV, instead of living life. People sometimes say that the way things happen in movies is unreal but actually it’s the way things happen in life that’s unreal. The movie makes emotions look so strong and real, whereas when things actually do happen to you, it’s like watching television – you don’t feel anything. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television. The channels switch, but it’s all television…) My flesh flowers LONG LIVE THE NEW FLESH TOTAL TRANSFORMATION TARYN TELEVISION Start in the middle of a bar and end in the middle of a bar Learn to start and end a phrase anywhere in a measure Start static My brain dissociates disappears noisemaker start static Start static My brain dissociates disintegrates noise narhwal stained glass and start static STAT god Stat god polyhedral dice roleplays television cruise ship quarters, halves halves happen cosmic body horror Halves happen the Lion-Eater and One-Eater-Of-Lions Jesus said, Blessings on the Lion that the human will eat, so that lion becomes human. And cursed is the human is the human that the lion will eat, and the lion will become human A translucent lion A nonlinear lion Lion logos Lucifer Lion Lucifer Logos Emerald light and topaz light lion laughter The Lion Cipher Lucifer code Cross in loose light and light phosphor flesh Perhaps phosphene flesh too, light-lions PKD witnessed in his total hemisphere altered state of consciousness (I try not to confuse altered state of consciousness with altered level of consciousness despite being a medical professional) The Lion Cipher Lucifer encrypts Cross on Sabbatai Sevi, and I superimpose many incarnations (manifestations and monstrosities) solid flat stacked flesh flesh flesh flesh… Long live the new flesh and I keep cross as Sabbath Saturn Sabbatai Sevi A translucent lion prophesies: How you have fallen from the heavens, O Morning Star, son of the dawn! How you have been cut down to the earth, you who conquered nations! (Morning star: term addressed to the King of Babylon. The vulgate translates as “Lucifer”, a name the church Fathers applied to Satan… Son of Dawn: Hebrew ben shar, may reflect the name of a Pagan deity) A translucent lion stepdown transformer prophesies pulseless electrical activity / Christ cardiac arrest Yahweh dead on arrival We shall understand the death of God as an historical event, writes Thomas Altizer God has died in our time, in our history, our existence God as death and God in death: Christ crucified and I attempt not a demythologized Christianity or Yahweh, but a Christianity radically mythologized, openly and utterly myth, and I story Yahweh Christianity (myth molds reality and myth makes reality) I tell stories and I prophesy stories / campfire urban legends a ladder lateral mapped to myth Jacob wrestling one in the image of a human being Jacob wrestling one like a Son of M an Jacob wrestling Yahweh and Samael / Lilith my consort strip searches my body a cavity for Christianity
My Mouth Is Utterly Unable To Say What You Are Like
Thomas said to him, Teacher, my mouth is utterly unable to say what you are like. Asia the Teacher teachers about Cicadas: The east coast is about to experience a shit ton of cicadas (there is a species that emerges every 17 years and they are emerging this year). I for one, am very excited. They sleep and eat in a hole in the dirt. Then they emerge from their holes, scream endlessly, mate and die. Teacher torments: Christ chastises. And those whom God loves? He afflicts with suffering. But those whom he hates? The Prophet says, Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated. And the descendants of Jacob? Every hand is turned against them. And those of Esau? They wear fine robes and swords on their belts, and every man calls them Lord. Go then and become a gentile. Save the Jews from the curse of God’s love, and receive the blessings of his hatred I apostate and heretic from Christianity, the play of pagan philosophy and pseudo-messiahs. I chain myself to the charlatan Jacob Frank, and I too seek in a twisted mixed multitude of Sabbateanism and Gnosticism. Yahweh almost betrays Benjamin, a basket for his burning. Yahweh yokes heavy the prophets, and I prophesy a perverse paganism and perennialism. Yahweh thwarts me and attacks in the dark, driving far from me friend and acquaintance. He punishes prophets and chews wearilessly his visionaries. I lie under the palm tree: Yah, take me, for I am no better than my fathers. I lie under the eaten remains of the vine and curse God angrily. Job’s wife says to me, curse God and die. I am utterly unable to speak Christ anymore, much less say the messianic name. The name nets me in knots and wrenches my ligaments out of joint time out of mind. I am utterly unable to say what you are like except your love lashes in laughter. I fear Asia will abandon me. I grow too attached. I love my friend very much. I fear Asia will abandon me like Doc or Taylor. I prophesy lonely ghost a Holy Ghost singular and singularity. I prophesy ghost alone scripture alone by grave alone and Asia doesn’t abandon but adheres by addition. Forgive me for my insecurities in our friendship. I was thinking of a former friend I had, Taylor. We used to write lovely letters and emails to each other, but when she got married, we stopped talking. I understand the insecurities, and I can’t promise I will always communicate as frequently, but I’m not going anywhere. Since our friendship is still young I want to make sure I put time into it to build a good foundation, so we don’t have to communicate constantly. That’s a solid plan. I’m hoping we can write postcards and letters even when we don’t chat often. I hope so too. My mouth musiks liberal use of dissonance and I look at individual compositions as a slice of – or window on – something larger. The laughter lagers or lingers attacking my liver, and my organs orgon ozone the pile-up into perfect prayer. I pray into music, the mouth tote thought and Taryn, and I sing disintegration (the sound were all collaged together to make a sonic wall, and the collage collapses or perhaps coalesces into Christ and Christina. I mouth the crusade into Christ and Crucifix, a crashed clash embedding. I sing disintegration desert (hip hop does not simply draw inspiration from a range of samples, but it layers these fragments into an artistic object. I smash my samples into textual music and musical text, a texture that touches on Thomas’ unutterable universe. I strut the samples into something tactile, a text to be tasted that tones the Bridal Chamber charmer, and the Cobra culls coils out of Benjamin’s basket. The mouth arks as Noah and Moses, deluge and genocide engorged on gods (the open-ended music gives an impression it could go on forever and Book continues no beginning no end but the collision of loops and samples and Benjamin conversations. Al Foster set up shit for everybody else to play off of and then he could keep the groove going forever and I groove in the grove of God forever. I set up the shit of Holy Spirit and Spirit spits mad bars speaking in tongues, my gift of gut glossolalia. I pour forever into the pulp and pornography (strange passions rules their twisted lives! THE WARDED ONES THE WORDED ONES The Woman and Women in one and I cannot say what’s she’s like except the name KRYSXTRYN coos the key to the human body, microcosm and macrocosm coming Christ stars all Bethlehem Benjamin.
Vision and Mysticism 