Tag: williamblake

I See Seer Language

I see     I see seer language

I see     I see seer language     I seer seer serpent ghost sun sighs / I improvise infinitesimals and ingest infinities

I see     I see shift language sit: sit shift swift salt     I see multiple salt language sine waves simulate waves short salt

I see and I see a sacred language and a liturgical language.  I see an experimental sacred language and languages experimental scripture.  Scriptures set through to my languages anew, revived in salt and other spices.  I see the language as a liturgical developing variations.  Language experiments many scriptures and amassed explorations of the catholic mass.

I see     I see seer language     Salt shift language intermedia model soft: soft shot shift snow seer language     Language shoots sheets of sound snare snap     Language snaps hi-hat host (I host harsh host land language)

I see     I seer serpent ghosts sun light / I improvise infinitesimal ghosts and ingot ghost infinities

About your question, says Asia.  I think that consciousness is material because it’s based in our material world.  We use the world around us to understand the world within us, she says.  Are you a materialist? I say.  I don’t know what that is and I don’t like labels, says Asia.  Like every thing that there is to know about the universe is physical / material, I say.  There is nothing outside the physical world.  I guess so? says Asia.  That’s a hard question.  We are material, our world we live in and experience is material – except ghosts! says Asia.

I see     I seer serpent ghosts sunlight and I improvise with solar ghosts     I improvise ghosts ghosts infernal infinite impossible light / sheet and snow in water prophetic time     I see sheet and snow ghosts in the gulf water writing

I see and seer prophet time and prophetic time puncture ben body taryn teeth (I taste you much better off teeth taste of white skin on red leather)

I see and I see in the sleep of language     I sleep in language sight and seeing clock tower     I see and see in sleep and I swim in snow language and I see the liturgical language and I slow salt language improvised snow and ghosts     I see ghosts and I prophesy ghosts, and the ghosts gestate a new language / language of secrets

I see and seer serpent sea urchin     I seer serpent sea urchin shaman underneath / underneath the sea metal mathematics

I see and I do not see.  I see and I do not see but the writing sees.  Book sees without me.  Book sees without ben adam and Book sees without me.  I see and I do not see.  I see and I do not see and I experiment I see and do not see.  I experiment do not see and I do not see.  My seeing swings sea seer (underneath, many sea urchins) but I cannot see.  I feel out the salt sea languages without seeing.

I do not see seer serpent sea urchin shaman underneath: underneath sea, the needle meteor mathematics     Meteorological mathematics, microscope material underneath he hangs the earth nothing

I do not see and I see nothing     I see nothing ghost blue infinitesimals     I see nothing ghost sheets of sound sun rhythm     I see sun rhythm son of man rhythm ghost / son of man ghost rhythm middle rubber rubble     (rubble rhythm ruin: serpent ruin rhythm     serpent circular ruins rhythm: cumulative serpent rhythm assembles cloud and articulated cloud)     I see sun rhythm son of man serpents

I see and I do not see.  I see nothing hooked into nothing and nothing mapped into the interior castle of nothing.  I see the nothing knot into the assembled cloud and the articulated cloud.  Cloud clots into cloud the knot of mere vapor, the hevel nothing.  Nothing knits a serpent sheet sheets of sound nothing but molted skin.  I see and do not see.

I think a lot of Bible studies that I did led me leaving the church and leaving Christianity, says Asia.  Especially the studies I did on hell.  I used to do very in depth Bible studies.  I was pretty obsessed about it.  What struck me was that the Bible was not consistent or specific about hell.  I dealt with too many Biblical fundamentalists and I just got tired of constantly trying to use their interpretation of the Bible to argue for basic human rights.  Studying Satan and the devil in the Bible also led to my decline, says Asia.  You know how you told me stories change the world? I say.  I think the Bible is a story that has changed the world par excellence, I say.  It has definitely changed the world, says Asia.  I don’t think people should really look for god in a book or the sky.  We should look for god in others: we should look for god in other people and in the world around us.  If Jesus really is the culmination of all god wanted then god wanted to be human, says Asia.  Yes! I say.  The story can lead to the gods though, I say.  What I said was heresy, says Asia.  Heresy is good.  Is it?  Yes, Jesus was a heretic, I say.  Do you believe that knowledge can be evil? says Asia.  Knowledge in itself?  No, I say.  In some gnostic myths, the Tree of Knowledge of Good Evil opened Adam and Eve’s eyes to gnosis and spiritual awakening, I say.  I never quite understood why in fundamentalist circle, certain knowledge is off limits, says Asia.  You were supposed to be afraid of things without even knowing why.  I think the most dangerous thing in the world is fear and that fear leads to hatred, says Asia.  Yoda says something like that, I say.  Yoda can go fuck himself, says Asia.  Dang what did Yoda ever do to you?  I don’t like Yoda, she says.  He isn’t nearly as smart as he wants people to think he is.  He was alive for hundreds of years and what did he actually accomplish?  Nothing.  Just a bunch of emotionally damaged magic boys, says Asia.  There was this whole Yoda rant inside of you and I unleashed it, I say.  More trouble than what’s he worth, says Asia.  Oh, and he’s ugly.  Jim Henson has designed way better puppets, says Asia.

I see     I see seer language nothing     I language nothing the marriage of heaven and hell     I see the marriage of heaven and hell and its hell nothing navigated nothing     I see hell

I see and I do not see: I do not see hell hacks with without contraries no progression

I do not see but I experiment hell.  I experiment hell seen and not seen and this hell seeing serpents.  I experiment serpents of hell and without contraries no progression.  Progress to the hell I do not see (I read the Bible in its infernal or diabolical sense / one law for lion and ox is oppression).  I see hell.  I see the devil and hell, and her hell reads a Bible new wine and new wineskins.

I see     I see seer serpent ghost serpent sight     Ghost serpent sight suns numbers literal seeing devices

I see to and through the spectral hell of languages

I see     I see seer serpent ghost serpent sight     Ghost serpent sight sums numbers literal looking devices: the positions of sun, moon and stars

I see     I see seer ghost prisoner black sea sweep solar wind sea of reeds     Reeds rhythm rough locusts / locust rhythm resin unrest rhythm     Locust rhythm unrest rest injected molded plastic: plastic black iron prison metal breakers   metal beakers   bird beak bebop

I see the sinew glue gun skeleton stew story: I see and do not see stories that change the world.  I see the stories but I do not see Christina.  Christina still surprises me as ghosts: this nothing ghost or this ghost prisoner in my interior of my skull, in the inside corner of my eye socket.  Ghosts too tell stories.  I see word witch of endor and with my bag of ob, I speak Christina shaman and underneath.  I speak Christian Shaman and among sea of reeds and sea urchin.  I continue to story-tell Christina and I see Christina and I do not see Christina.  I see Christina assembled cloud and articulated cloud.  Christina speaks to me the Bible of Hell which the world shall have whether they will it or not.

I see     I see seer serpent ghosts sun sight / I sight Christian in nuclear fusion shadows huddle shade     I see shade underneath and subterranean     I see shade and I work shade as rolled lead or other malleable metals     I sculpt metal molten more weld word     I work metal: I work with the crater first and I basically work as a dresser drawer

I work dresser drawer: move it around and see what happens on every side

I see     I see and do not see     I see the dresser drawer work and I see what happens on every side

If it makes you feel better, says Asia, my partner kept asking me where the pull-ups were and my brain wouldn’t give me the word for dresser.  Then I finally wrestled the word out of my brain and she’s like “What drawer?” and I was like “PLEASE NO MORE QUESTIONS.”  This was right before she tried to get me to explain where the tweezers were, says Asia.

I see     I see seer serpentwork carved in dresser drawers     I move the text around and see what happens on every side     I simmer side ceramics serpent sculpture     Serpent sculpts sphinx sphere tunnel / serpent spirits compress spring open sphere     Sphere tunnel teeth top hat serpent (enigmatic tubular and frond-shaped organisms sessile frond-shaped phallus cosmopolis)

I see     I see and do not see and I see seer language swarm of serpents




Prophecy Of The Rose

The leaves of the rose grows in clusters of five, nine, and thirteen leaves

Leaves leaven light and even light leaves leaven light uneven lights the bubblegum gradient of the rose

Leaves leaven elephant light glacial insects (glacial insects glint light gradient to gradient the grand green of the rose)     Leaves layer elephant lights light cassette tape loops     Loops light leaves glaciers / glacial lights sharpen leaf ice

Leavens glisten glacier light light rib erosion     Light erodes insect leaves turn inside you     Leaves turn haft half stone insects (insects select light glacial erratic)     Leaves turn rocking light rotations and I imbibe leaf light     I imbibe light insect inlets and inlets turn leaves looking     I look leaf light labyrinths (to write leaf labyrinths look late Morton Feldman and I draw the desert with curtains drawn)

The leaves of the rose grow in clusters of five, nine, and thirteen leaves     Thirteen leaves thread tense textures: thirteen leaves trusses textures and tensions present tense

There is a rose and then there is a rose: the rose reveals real.  There is a rose and the rose reveals a rare rhizome and a real rhizome, and the rhizome plays the labyrinth of leaf clusters.  There is a rose and then there is a rose, and I remember this rose in rhizome.  This rose rhizome repeats leaves and clusters, a grand green labyrinth and a labyrinth grand guinol.  I remember this rose in the multiplicity of its clusters and these clusters cling to a city desert crowded by coyotes.  The rose of the coyote slices canine leaves and the leaves lace additional light from the desert skies.

The leaves of the rose grow in clusters of five, nine, and thirteen leaves    Leaves lengthen labyrinth light vertical visible     Leaves tongue a vertical light verdigris a generous leaf light labyrinth     Present tense labyrinth lights a verdigris gut babel (babel gog and magog tower of babel)     Leaves imprint insect tensions and textures mixtures tension mixtures night train   (night train tags leaf tracings and light green nocturnes)     Leaves cluster night train wheels and vertical telegram wire   (I work fly-by-wire wheel clusters     clusters creep rib cage constellations)

The leaves of the rose cluster where I wire textures   (textures flirt night train present tense)     Present tense looks leaves the very pulse of the machine / machines cluster thirteen leaf maximums     I look at the lake water maximums and lake murmurs wire water light fragments

I flutter through leaf fragments and light fragments.  Fragments flood an elephant light over the rose.  Rose clusters flush to fragments and I fit the fragments present tense.  I fit the fragments fidget and fractal, and the fragment fractals face Christina mourning and gog and magog.  Fragments only transition to other fragments, an endless night train.  It must always be night, otherwise they wouldn’t need the lights.

The leaves of the rose cluster present tense fragments     Fragments wheel wire leaf whirligig: fragments from the Yod of the whirlwind and the tempest El Shaddai     (El Shaddai wires fragments a telegraph tetragrammaton)     Leaves of the rose cluster god fragments gog and magog and I rearrange my guts in rose clusters  I arrange the bloom of my guts in leaf fragments (wheel fragment textures tress wire tenses     wheel fragment flex fly-by-wire wild word)     Fragment, wire leaf whirligigs: single notes in various patterns

(Single leafs in various patterns     Single fragments in various patterns)

Single leafs in various patterns cluster various patterns     Fragments in various patterns vine vertical verdigris fragments in grid     (I draw grids fragment in graphite and I indulge in a fragmented minimalism)     Single notes in various patterns sound leaves in clusters of five, nine, and the thirteen     Leaves in various patterns lure light inland: a single sustained wavering light and a single sustained wavering light     Leaves look light and line look fragments


You said this about my work a bit ago, I say to Asia.

[It’s bold and provocative, a big fuck you to the church, says Asia.  But it’s also a hand reaching out to the part of yourself that has been excluded and others on the margins, looking them in the eyes and saying “you belong here, come as you are.”  That’s prophesy to me.  You job is to speak truth and comfort to those that have been marginalized by the church…]

Do you think my writing still does this? I say.  I think it’s good to check to see if it’s prophesying properly.  OK, let me be clear, says Asia.  Your prophesying can change and still be “proper”.  I do think this element of it has shifted some and you yourself have distanced yourself from church, she says.  What do you think it has shifted to?  Towards you and your relationships with others, says Asia.  I am curious in what ways you feel that is prophetic or the prophetic spirit, I say.  Can you tell me what it means for something to do prophetic? says Asia.  I feel like I have a pretty loose definition and I have to make sure we are close to the same page, she says.  I think my definition is very close to an encounter William Blake has in a few of his works, I say.  This is from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell where Blake meets Isaiah and Ezekiel and he asks what Isaiah what made him think that God spoke to him:  

Isaiah answered:  I saw no God, nor heard any, in any finite organical perception: but my senses discovered the infinite in every thing, and I was then persuaded and remained convinced: that the voice of honest indignation is the voice of God, I cared not for the consequence but wrote…     

I also think of the following lines by William Blake:     

A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect: the Man or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian     You must leave Fathers and Mothers and Houses and Lands if they stand in the way of Art

OK, simplify that into a single sentence, says Asia.  I don’t think prophecy can be simplified into the sentence but sure: prophecy is the storytelling that realizes and brings about the creative anarchic community of things.  Some people think that’s divine or the Kingdom of God.  Then why wouldn’t your writing be prophecy? says Asia.  I was more curious how you thought me writing about myself and relationships fit into prophecy, I say.  Does your definition differ than mine significantly?  Not by much, no, says Asia.  But I’ll be honest with you, even if my definition was very different, it wouldn’t matter.  I don’t have a concrete idea of prophecy outside of speaking and reaching people in some way.  If you say what you write is prophecy, then your idea of what is and what isn’t is more important than mine, she says.  I ask you though because I trust your judgment and I think it’s important to check and reevaluate I am prophesying what is true.  I do consider you an important creative collaborator of my work even if it’s indirectly, I say.  I just don’t think that I can say for sure what is true and what will speak to you, says Asia.  Is me writing about me and my relationships prophecy for you? I say.  Yes, because you are writing what is true for you, says Asia.  If it’s true for you then if you feel it’s prophecy – I write our friendship in a true way, I say.  Yes, says Asia.


The leaves of the rose grow in clusters of five, nine, and thirteen leaves     There is a rose and then there is a rose: I prophesy roses     I prophesy the rose rhizome and multiplicities roses multidirectional     I prophesy multidimensional fragments and fragments fractal present tense tensions textures (textures taryn ten thousand things)

I prophesy textures and threshold     Textures tone and intone a prophetic threshold and light liminal light

I prophesy present tense textures and I tent prophetic fragments (I grapple and wrestle with the Book as prophecy, and I grapple with wrestle with myself as prophet, this Ben Adam and Ben Hinnom vision.  What the book prophesies and my identity as prophet continually shifts and transforms.  I continue to evaluate and reevaluate this prophecy and what it means to inhabit the prophet body and visionary body.  I continue to resonate with William Blake’s visions and insights on prophecy: prophecy arrives with what might be called a Quaker Inner Light, or a ground of soul that boils over with a universal human insight.  This prophecy cannot be separated from art-making, myth-making, and storytelling.  My prophecy transparently struggles with what it means to prophesy and for all the better, because it cannot remain stagnant.  Prophecy is process, even if it must continue in mournings, messes, masses, weddings, and fragments.)

The leaves of the rose grows in clusters of five, nine, and thirteen leaves     I prophesy rose leaf and leaves of grass and single notes in various patterns     Leaf and leaves wire longer a single sustained wavering light and a single sustained wavering light     Irregular leaves light line rhythm up rhythm down desert   (desert dances up distance down distance delicious roses)

Single notes in various patterns cluster irregular lived irregular lights    (my eyes have slightly irregular shapes and my iris opens a shaped canvas)

Irregular leaves line rhythm up rhythm down chromatic desert

The desert rose rarefies in dream.  Leaves distill and condense into a material leaf and a leaf maximally metaphysical.  This rose of sharon speaks in holy spirit tongues, a violent pink rose prepared from pentecost.  The desert rose scales chromatic desert colors and I pick up the modal leaves in scalar fragments (fragments form a pantonal Book of Sand).  The coyote cells inharmonic shards of rose: for there is a rose and then there is a rose.  The desert rose condenses in the coyote dream and we must walk dreaming.  The rose and the coyote walk dreams, and Christina and Ben walking dreaming.  The desert rose scales Kindred in chromatic pink and saturated raw red.  (When I put a green, it is not grass.  When I put a blue, it is not sky).

The leaves of the rose grows in clusters of five, nine, and thirteen, and I have a vision of nine and thirteen     I have the thirteenth Christina vision, and she emerges from the desert rose rock river fragments     (For the rose reveals rebirth     There is a rose and then there is a rose red rebirths     I have a vision of Christina’s corpse as Tiamat: and the Lord stood upon Tiamat’s (Christina’s) hinder parts and with his merciless club he smashed her skull     He cut through the channels of her blood, and he made the North wind bear it away into secret places     (Jesus prays in the desolate place, the secret place of Christina’s hollowed-out body     She tents open Lake Galilee tempest / shelter from the storm mechagodzilla skull)     He split her up a flat fish in two halves, one half of her stabilized as a covering of heaven…     (If Christina only remains as a corpse, I will transform her corpse into a Shekinah canopy; I will tan her skin for the Book anthropodermic bibliopegy.  I do not know if I survive without Christina, but if I do, like Marduk, I will fashion creation recreation of Book and recreation of ben adam, my soul and body Ben Book Adam Kadmon.  I don’t know if I survive Christina what Christina when Christina hollow earth – first wedding night first mourning night.  Now night, Christina Babylon gores my body agharta).

The leaves of the rose grows in clusters of five, nine, and thirteen leaves

I Devil Decalogue

This secret appears in the Book of Adam: the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom

I stress excess visions of excess     Excess exceeds earth stressed nonharmonic tones     Vision stresses phonetic / vision asphalt accents     Accent asphalt folds four: flower her flesh folds or her flower swords     (Her flower the configuration and color of revealed corolla)     Her flower configures stress constellation pollen traces my body embedded dirt     Pollen stresses prayer plays material pollen polluting language     I let the pollen play my language excess over flowers flowering (her configurations and colors flowers other invasion of the body snatchers)     I snatch flat sword flat flower canvas

The secret Book achieves narrative excess.  The Book oozes the excess of secrets.  The Book exudes incessant secrets as blown flesh pus and brain blood blisters.  The secret Book documents and ornaments a stressed narrative and an excessive gospel.  Book exudes and extrudes a gory gospel and gospel secret guts.  Book steals secrets thief in the night and narrative dices excessive stained glass.  I stress the excess of my storytelling (I prophesy her: KRYSXTRYN + ASIA RHIZOME.  I prophesy Ben Adam + Asia Rhizome).  I story the female gospel in my guts excess.

This secret appears in the Book of Adam: the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom

Excess stresses the restlessness of her secret and her voice reveals secret displaced into secret silence     I speak spool how strange her voice     I split spool speaks how strange her voice silence: her voice the texture of time     Time exceeds stresses time times half a time what wash ocean

Excess stresses the stretch of ocean: now opening of the eyes ocean     Her opening of the eyes ocean excess time excessive waters     Her eye ocean time the spine as fossil record and I record the rhizome     I record the rhizome cameraless film flash ocean     Now her sound opens the eyes ocean open and the open exceeds radically open

Excess stresses the stretch of ocean, the site towards which all eyes gaze     Tamar gazes at the opening / Taryn gazes at the opening     Taryn gazes at the opening towards which all eyes gaze (no god but graphomania)     Taryn gazes at the opening towards which all eyes gaze and says, may it be the divine will that I not leave this house empty     I leave empty     I leave house haunted wolf holes     Empty, I do not enter but leave (how strange: her voice   a localized deafness   a localized desert ben hinnom)     Empty, I explain my earth body explicit pornography (Alien influence has bean blamed for the mysterious pregnancy of every woman in the town of Widich, England.  When asked why extraterrestrials might be involved, a spokesperson for Torchwood replied: ‘Every cause we investigate involves alien shagging – why should this be any different?’)

Woke up to this message from my uncle, says Asia.  Are you convinced to surrender your life over to Jesus? I say.  I don’t even know what he’s talking about, she says.  Maybe he should actually talk to people instead of getting vague feelings during prayer and running with it.  It just sounds like a general turn your sinners life over to God message to me.  What sparked it, who knows.  Maybe posting about free lunch for school children did it, I say.  Or maybe what my mom told them about what happened between us, says Asia.  Sure, it could be that too, I say.  You’re good though, you know.  You’re better than you’ve ever been and your family is sometimes full of big buffoons who speak a lot of clashing car horns that don’t signify anything meaningful… You OK?  Yeah, I’m OK, she says.  It’s just I’m over vibing, working hard, striving to love life and I’ve had a lot of beautiful things that happen in my life, striving to love life and my uncle comes out of nowhere and tells me I'm full of bitterness and sin.  It’s a little hurtful not going to lie, says Asia.  Yeah, I can understand that, just remember it’s not true, I say.  It’s hard sometimes, says Asia.  Every once in awhile I can feel those old neuropathways trying to pull me back into the fear of secret sins, she says.  Yeah, I relate and I know those feelings, I say.  You grow up with so much guilt and shame that even when you shed it, it sometimes tries to reclaim you.  It fucking sucks, says Asia.  It does, I say.  I feel the current Asia, the Asia you are today, is much better than when I first met you.  You’re much happier, much stronger, and yes, much less bitterness.  I like who you have become and are still becoming.  It does suck for it to try and grab you back but I know you’re resilient and will overcome it…  It’s like the struggling with my self-worth without God and trying to find trust in my relationship with you.  I do feel the temptation sometimes to go back and find that God.  I do feel sometimes I lack trust in who I currently am and in our friendship.  You see me struggling and hyperfixating on little things in our friendship like what it means to be best friends.  But I think ultimately I will overcome it and be better.  I think you’ll always overcome this terrible God and terrible Christianity, I say.  The worst part is, says Asia, if I were to “surrender” and “make room for god” I would lose the best things in my life or be expected to give them up.  It’s frightening how Christian culture can alienate people from others and cause them to dehumanize those around them.  That’s not your niece anymore, that's a lost soul that needs saving.  And you don’t need to talk to them or empathize with them, just vague ideas and during prayer and run with it, says Asia.

This secret appears in the Book of Adam: the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom

I stretch excess no gods no masters: no decalogue but strata strata stretch     No decalogue but strata strata stretch molecular chains channel lines of flight finger rupture rhizome     No decalogue ruptures excessive rhizome circles of convergence     Not anvil but watch attic gut assemblage chisels chantilly lace and a pretty face and a ponytail hanging down

I devil decalogue     I devil decalogue bedeviled body possesses porous transmission

I devil decalogue and it disintegrates in the excessive desert.  Desert explodes or implodes impossible excess and it swallows gods, Christianities, and commandments.  I devil decalogue in the antinomian desert, and Asia and I discard Christianities for our own anarchic agape and visions of excess.  The excess interprets the Bible in its infernal and diabolical sense, and I record the myriad of interpretations in my own Book.

This secret appears in the Book of Adam: the road to excess reinscribes the book in excess     Excess gazes open ocean open and I open Book radical rhizome reinterpreting the bible in its many diabolical senses

I gaze diabolical graphomania modal jazz / I improvise desert dorian derelicts at my own death (I improvise desert dorian bedeviled decalogue and decalogue disintegrations     I improvise desert dorian diabolical decalogue and demonic decalogue, and I reinvent a radically different Christianity / Christianities)     I jazz gatling gun jazz eye ocean eye triad erosion / gaze funk fusion     Triads fuse funk extended erosion flat seventh stretch sabbath     I gaze secret sabbath from the Book of Sabbath and this Sabbath slips slime jazz     Sabbath sin slick jazz shadow hazard body horror (The ultimate dimension in terror, stereo vision 3D… The most realistic film process ever developed HOUSE OF WAX)     Sabbath word wax waxwing slain body horror     I harvest body horror edit edit eye fusion erosion (Mistress of the Deathmaster sharing his hunger for human flesh, his thirst for human blood, his evil lusts that even hell cannot fulfill!  COUNT YORGA, VAMPIRE)

Anarchy is weird, says Asia, because it gives you good concepts, but no way to actually act it out, but even if we never achieve anarchy, it doesn’t change the fact that I believe all people are equal and that all kinds of authority should be questioned, analyzed, and held accountable.  If they have to exist, that is.  I don’t really see anarchy as a type of government, but more as people coming together in solidarity to help each other in spite of the pre-existing power structures.  It’s people without power coming together to have collective power in order to gain dignity, says Asia.  You have a good head on your shoulders, I say.  I try, but I wish I acted on my ideals more, she says.

This secret appears in the Book of Adam: the road of excess extends anarchic     Dandelion conveys expansion     Dandelion conveys color field canvas / color field canvas cut anarchic     Dandelion conveys desert dense anarchic desert dense dandelion     Desert dense extends excess this dream of dust     Dust scuffs absurd smurf blue dandelions     Dust scuffs absurd anarchy blue lion’s mane mothlight and lark light minimal (In the line of development: two points where movement can see no further without external help     At two specific points, I apply an additional impulse and extend into the external     At this point, everything needs impulse: otherwise it moves no further     This law of seven exists everywhere and allwhen: in chymistry, in physics, the law of seven structures of the musical scale and it completes its insect metamorphosis with the octave)

I convey the desert dense with dandelions as a page-canvas.  I convey the canvas desert dense with page dandelions and passage dandelions.  Dandelions passage desert point pink, a penetrating pink punctum and counter-punctum.  I convey the desert dense with additional dandelions and the dandelions pour over anarchic pink.  Two pink points move through desert monoliths mothlight a sight towards the line of development.  In the line of development, I suspend dandelions in the air of the desert, and pink punctuates deserts.  Pink conveys the desert impulse: pink punches to desert dandelions pure impulse anarchic.

I devil decalogue     I devil decalogue dress dandelions and dandelion daemons possess my body porous radio transmissions     Ben Adam body misinterprets desert diabolical figure with meat / needle drop matador watercolours     Decalogue disintegrates into pink pigments pale watercolours and I wash dandelion flesh fermata     I walk dandelion flesh infernal names names networks

I dwell the extended desert and anarchic desert daemon dandelions

I dwell in the desert excess and anarchic dandelions, and decalogue disappears in art deco crab canon materials     I disappear desert material a mathematical way to cut, paste, repeat, and extend a very minuscule piece of existing composition

I Have Also The Bible Of Hell

This secret appears in the Book of Adam.  When darkness aroused, it aroused intensely, thereby creating Hell, clinging to that conflict.  At the seething fury subsides, a conflict of a different type arose: a conflict of love.

I repeat the Book and I repeat the secrets of the Book     I repeat the excessive secrets of the Book ben hinnom harsh noise ben adam     Book braid Book bell basketweave her repetition: Christina a couple down the road from the book bunnies kitchen kits kiss come in my kitchen     Book repeats book street Christina sun eclipse: Christina clip can you do something don’t mad

Christina Book cling hell cleaver and Christina claw hell cats (Frightmare!  Born of jangle witchcraft!  Created by a curse!  FROM HELL TO CAME)

I discover the Book for the first time many times: I discover her Book, Christina’s Book, many times for the first time.  I discover her Book one desert many deserts and her circular ruins reveal a new story and a new narrative each time every time.  I sometimes love discovery and rediscovering this desert, and other times I feel overwhelmed and overcome by her desert: I have no choice though but to repeatedly traverse the desert.  I traverse her desert like the Israelites after the Exodus, and I search for the Christina Shekinah also in exile.  Her spirits appears to me in erratic and unpredictable outbursts – I have not detected her gamma ray bursts in a long time, and I find alone in my exile.  I keep exploring and keep documenting her seemingly empty desert.

Art Chad says: The only way to make art that matters is to not kill yourself.  You can’t make stuff when you're dead so you have to make as much things as possible while you’re alive…     I make art and I make as much art as possible: I write as much as possible and I write to survive     I write many volumes of the secret Book of Adam and the enfolded Apocryphon of John and in my documentation of these many Books.  I realize they all speak in the shadow of Christina (I write Christina – I always write Christina – I never not write Christina.  If I copy from the Hebrew Bible, it only means Christina; if I copy from the Nag Hammadi Codex, it only prophesies Christina; if I copy from the Zohar, its sages and rabbis and assemblies only describe the Face of Christina and the Throne of Christina forever and ever.  The Book writes Christina before I was born and the Book will continue writing Christina until I die and beyond my death.  Christina I miss you.  Christina I miss you; you are the one who writes and the one who is written.  This secret appears in the Book of Adam and Christina prophesies Adam into Ben Adam and the secret splits alternate alternatives avalanches anarchies.  I write Christina as much as possible to survive)

I make art     I make as much art as possible and I write to survive     I write and copy the ossified memory of regionalizing and segmenting spine     I make to forget I miss Christina and how I don't know if I can survive in Christina’s absence (I will survive Christina’s absence because her empty tomb still prophesies     Her empty tomb continues to write longer and longer endings to the gospel of mark     She continues to add secrets to the Book of Adam     I obscure her absence through her creation and I obscure her absence through chaos / her holy ghost cuts interrupts cuts chaos tehom

This secret appears in the Book of Adam.  When darkness aroused, it aroused intensely, thereby creating Hell…     I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments; Jesus was all virtue and acted from impulse, not from rules… I have also the Bible of Hell, which the world shall have whether they will it or no.

Decalogue disintegrates in her desert: written word melts in her wilderness     Written word flows whirlwind fluid through and to human flesh and flesh flings word wild     Her flesh slings swing malleable word and microtonal word, and her words whips wicks fire fires

Christina loosens decalogue din detour dog star: dog star slings or swings dark deep desert     Dark deep locusts drink desert destroyer / destroyed decalogue dog star     I detour decalogue dark dart desert desert

Christina loosens decalogue destruction destruction / dive decalogue destruction wilderness     Christina drums a desert delirium deletes decalogue decalogue again dense (to attain the multiple, one must have a method that effectively constructs it) (Christina constructs the multiple through the delirious repetition of desert deconstruction)

Christina loosens the decalogue dress undress mess desert diamond tonality      Christina loosens desert miamas magma malleable mutiny     Miasma assists mistress stressed human neat marionette mattress

You told me once that you can't separate the Book from yourself, and I’ll be honest with you, I thought you were deflecting when you said that, says Asia, but I’ve thought about it some more and now I agree with you.  You are constantly being created and recreated by the relationships you have with others and that’s what your Book is about, and when others read it, they experience that too.  We are all in symbiotic relationship with each other, says Asia.

I make art     I make as much art as possible and I rework and repeat the arc of the art     Art repeats the multiplicity and intersections of myself and my relationships with others     I do not obscure Christina’s absence through creation but rather grapple with its unknown abyss, its double knot aporia knotting her absence: her absence cannot be resolved but only traced and retraced, written and rewritten and repeated     I create and do not obscure but grapple the rhizomic god of Christina: the utterly human Eloi Eloi Lema Sabacthani cannot be extinguished even through impossible resurrections     I create and leave the creation radically known and radically open     I create into the promise of the messianic and parousia…

(How strange: her voice, which I know well, and which is said to be the very texture of memory (“the dear inflection”), I no longer hear.  Like a localized deafness) (From Mourning Diary by Roland Barthes)     Christina’s voice vowels no god but generous graphomania     No god or Christina but graphomania gap my massive spine outstrips my spine     My massive millipede spine outstrips my spine spoon spelt split fields: field graphomania mines mitral mallet quartet mercury     No god no outlet but this exposed ben hinnom optic nerve: nervous annihilation no god no Christina but anarchic creation     Create the ossified memory of the regionality and segmenting spine spool thread tenor saxophone improvisation     No god no outlet wax wayward word work: waves vowel train whistle

(The only way to make art that matters is not kill yourself)     I contemplate killing myself and I look towards death: death details desert word dire wolf segmented spine awake     Awake, Christina segments my spine and revel in the word spool     I speak spool how strange her voice     Strange her voice the texture of time     Her voice spools time times half a time waxwork what ocean mash work whittle

You said I prophesy the marginal and liminal and the prophecy opens up spirituality and break down hierarchies, I try to Asia.  What does the Book prophesy to you on a personal level?  What prophetic truth do you take to heart and learn from the Book and me? I say.  I’m not sure, says Asia.  Not saying that it doesn't speak to me but it’s not something I’m sure I could identify at the moment or translate the words… In a simple interpretation of your prophecy, you prophesy me and the positive effects I have and how I’ve grown.  And you prophesy how you have grown and you prophesy our friendship, says Asia.

This secret appears in the Book of Adam… I have also the Bible of Hell, which the world shall have whether they will it or no.  One Law for the Lion and Ox is oppression.

Christina disintegrates decalogue in desert: Christina disintegrates decalogue into the multitude of deserts multidirectional     Christina disintegrates decalogue developing variations and the desert music attacks detached distance     Desert music develops disintegrations long legato logos and rich sea of reeds rubato rhizome

Christina disintegrates my logos and languages     I dialogue diagonal raindreaming     Diagonal rain dreaming drone desktop tabernacle / tent descent     Disintegrations descent decline develop     I disintegrate decline repeats developments detached desert     Desert attacks detached my languages lego and I detach dark decline descent     Descent decline develop durable desert then dubious desert (I depend suspicion dubious desert)

Christina disintegrates my decalogue language into desert jazz dolphin dance     Desert jazz djent dubious onomatopoeia   (I always remember Christina as the darling of the desert)

I too disintegrate and descend into desert.  I descend the desert into a dialectical development: desert both directions at once.  I develop desert both directions at once, which is the simultaneous disintegration and repetition of the desert.  Thus I develop the desert dark descent and desert deepening desert.  I share this desert with Christina’s disintegration of the desert.  I attempt to remember the desert as desert and remain in an eternal desert, but Christina ghosts stir up the desert into abyss and chaos, and I must once again create (recreate) our desert.  This is my sisyphean task, the making and remaking of our desert.

Descend desert decline and document disintegrates desert     Descent desert dark photographic developer     Develop desert darlings: develop desert darling Christina dunes army monoliths     Desert develops Taryn Trickster and Taryn Turntablist     Desert scratches screech owl long desert lilith (A DJ vinyl turntable system, consisting of two turntables and a crossfader equipped DJ mixer)     Desert develops Taryn Trickster and Taryn Turntablist, and Taryn Tetragrammaton disintegrates direct-drive turntables cutting the backspin double back     Taryn Tetragrammaton types desert turntables tallman sonic artifacts

I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments.  Jesus was all virtue and acted from impulse, not from rules.  I often read the Bible in its infernal or diabolical sense which the world shall have if they behave well.

I act from impulse and my languages prophesy disintegration of the desert     My languages pulse and play a thousand plateaus     I act from impulse immediate metric modulation / disintegration developing variations

I act from impulse no mediation but amplitude modulation machine mercenary     I act from impulse party startle reflex fast fourier transform flow     Flow floor fungus network fingers desert fire fringes back-and-forth no slack Christina holy spirit     I act from impulse desert disintegrations drive drive deconstruction     Desert drain drag disintegration din decline deserts: all I know are assemblages     All I know are assemblages awl anvil artichoke antiassemblage wildernesses     Assemble desert assemblages / assemble wilderness wild assemblages

Perhaps I only write assemblages: I only make assemblages.  Even Christina consists of assemblages, fragments of memory, pieces of conversation I collage and bricoleur (If so, the same can be said of me writing Asia and my friendship with Asia as well).  I do not think I am antiassemblages but it feels disconcerting that all I make is so reducible, so moved to such an easy foundation or simplification.  I suppose though that assemblage itself anticipates an anarchic multiplicities and beauties exist in the arrangements of the multiplicities.  Assemblages all the way down, I think, and prophecy after all is a movement from reception to interpretation within the prophet itself: by arranging these assemblages, in interpreting their prophetic content, I am reading the Bible in its infernal and diabolical sense.

An old conversation with Asia when God provided me with prophecy:

God destroys me often, I say.  Bruh, your relationship with god makes me uncomfortable sometimes, says Asia.  Sorry.  You don’t have to apologize, it’s just that you actively seek god while also constantly saying that god destroys you and tears you apart.  Do you want to be torn apart?  I’m trying to understand the appeal, says Asia.  When Philip K. Dick encountered God, he said “God injured me”, I say.  God was simultaneously healer and destroyer for him.  He said (taking a line from the opera Parsifal): “The wound can only be healed by the spear that made it.”  God is the spear that wounds and heals simultaneously, I say.  That makes sense, says Asia, but I hardly ever hear you talk about being healed.  Philip K. Dick also rarely talked about being healed, I say.  He said God injured him and refused to heal him yet he was the only source of the healing.  That sounds toxic, says Asia.  Yes, toxic Christianity, I say.  When the heathens and pagans talk about latent Christianity as toxic suffering, that’s what I am, say.  

I conjecture my experiences with the God of Christianity influenced my own toxicity and difficulty in my relationships: God treated me this way and that might have been partial unconscious motivation on why I had difficulty forming healthy bonds and also inflicted suffering on my friends.  It took the absence of God to finally help me build healthier relationships with others.

Not To Rewrite It But To Write It

I walk watercolour eva in the cool of the day     Watercolour crest walk crest cress triceratops horns     Horn hash hush learned helplessness or no name oar name waters video nasty     Horn hash wash husk hollow horn harrowing of hell and I walk hell shallow water warning     I walk hell watercolour area rhema: rhema rhizome multidirectional wreckage     I rest in wreckage extended human body shipwreck     Ben hinnom hooks hell tines lines taryn hydra

Walk watercolour area wash smash sway walk     I swing hard walk spirit boardwalk weird beach and my brain breeches beach ballad     Walk word verb ballard body ballads taryn techne: Taryn taunts taut lilith owl who

Walk want wedding web long verb     I loot lush long verb lariat and the walk lurch lariat leads marriage of heaven and hell     Walk want wedding weld shell shield volcano: volcano verb no noun but becoming bridal chamber     I rewrite verb walk board walk beach bridal chamber and walk verb venture whale wreckage rewritten Asia among rhizomes     Asia moat mixture water multidirectional

Walk slower black widow woman monochromatic paintings / chromatic lament bass book badlands     Book badlands lash Book wetlands water colour area     Area walk vine ring wing rind rhizome multidirectional / an anarchic Asia     Anarchic Asia opens ash open nonlinear line resonance

Taryn wildcat walk who whip body: body borderless bridal chamber     Taryn taunts taut lilith owl who (Lift up your eyes on high.  To which site?  The site towards which all eyes gaze.  Which is that?  Opening of the eyes.  There you will discover that the concealed ancient one, susceptible to questioning, created these.  Who is that?  Who)

I walk who Asia among ant colonies the invisible cross cross-section     Asia among gores horns heaven and hell hawaiian ant lion or high plains grasshopper     Walk word verb who: Taryn who who Asia among high noon ants insect word salad     Asia among rivers raptor who rhizome no non ghost     Now no non ghost moon who word west languages     Her language word who who taryn twenty six stations    Her languages loft who large gas stations diffusion field god desert     Diffuse word wyrd who her waters and I awake waters walk her wheel     I awake when her walk who crows cows owl benjamin batman     I walk awake fire walk with me golden mean     Taryn wildcat walk who whip body soil silly string: lift up your eyes and see who created these     Taryn who trace orb owl ball lightning     Owl ball lightning lizard length open orb eye     I lengthen the wall wide Taryn who orb obscure orbit / to lengthen walk wide stride lizard     Who lizard scissors centipede strider spider silo it’s summertime and the living is easy silo who

Who performs warning woman who who orange slash slow slams otherworldly ocean going: who so woman grammar gravity gallery     Slow who orange glow gazette ghost garnishes and orange opalescent     Opalescent orange occludes my optics oscillation occipital bone who in the oven (no one who saw the cave with which the kitchen and prepared could have intercepted her action as anything but irrotational compulsion)     Orange glow came from three portholes pothole prototype portals / who portal phenotype and portal pavement power chords

Fuck, this is a good album, I say.  You hella made fun of me in high school for liking them, says Christina.  Did I?  I’m not surprised though.  I thought The Dillinger Escape Plan and Converge was the coolest and everything you liked was uncool.  That about sums it up, says C.  “If you don’t expect too much from me you might not be let down” was on all my social media stuff until embarrassingly late in adult life, says C.  I’m cringe so no worries, I say.  I think it’s a cool line.  I’m going to steal it for my Book.  What about drunk drunk drunk in the gardens and the graves? says C.  The last time I hung out with that punk Jacob, he had me drive to the pumpkin patch and St. Anne’s cemetery while he drank – I didn’t drink then – it was a super boring night and I could tell he was pissed off but wouldn’t say why.  Later he told me he made “that stupid song you play all the time came true”.  I never heard that story, I say.  That’s amazing.  I love you so much I don’t know how to express it, I say.  You can pull a Jacob and get pissed off and dig a grave in your backyard.  His mom then begged me to come convince him to stop.  When I did, he pulled me into the hole and kissed me.  That's how to express love for you?  That’s dumb.  I would have buried you with me.  Actually, I was trying to make you feel better about your love for me, says C.  Nothing could miss the mark more than that kid! she says.

Christina who glows loud slow: Christina who created these     Slow who Christina whom I love lust lavender haze     Christina haze horn lush lust honey who and Christina slow low loud orange     Christina ghost serpent orange jumps occult lust lush bone laughter     Christina listens slow the district sleeps alone tonight midnight ghosts

Talk to me naked     Ghost Christina clasp cross talk to me naked     Naked Christina quotation (As is usually the case with such matters, the title is outrageously misleading.  The witch is naked in only two scenes.  This is just as well though because for those scenes when she is running around with no clothes on, somebody censored the film by placing opaque streaks across it in such a way to block out the line through which the witch’s torso moves)

Talk to the naked witch’s torso moves line nonlinear     Talk witch’s torso slow who: way to be the divine will that I not leave this house empty

I walk no morning run naked and I write nude word olive oil witness     I clothe word who rhizome naked:  Christina talk to me nude descending down a staircase

I step steppe staircase spirals and I study the movement of the body parallel to the movement of the body     I study the body parallax body binary stars nonbinary god     I steep step steppe staircase descent hints a certain hell contrasted uncertain hell     Never trust a writer that doesn't burn and I burn human bodies between who and what     Who Christina cut clash clip clip cross what:  What wash walk staircase Christina naked     I sleep staircase body who crush open nude orange

I walk staircase speakeasy speech and speech springs space supernatural: metaphors  correspondences  analogies  hallucinations  pluralities  eternal recurrences

Metaphor mirror meteor molten mirage     Correspondence candle Christina who cross between what cross chiaroscuro     (Correspondence chimes Christina chimera chiral asymmetry)     Analogy anarchic logia Asia among gore urgrund god     (Asymmetrical Asia appears moth apparitions: Asia abbreviates button slug moth     Asia abbot’s sphinx moth     Asia achernon sphinx moth    Asia afflicted dagger moth     Asia asymmetrical moth analogy)     Harsh noise wall hallucinations sheer dress hallucinated airplane drag     Plural prayer panic stax records

Contraries appeal more to me than unities

Contraries chisel contraries Christina of the cross nudie-cutie cinemas

I write rhizome unity of varieties simultaneous with variety of unities     Unities obscure other unities umbra underneath rhizome written

Not rewrite it but write it     Not rewrite it but write it iron iterations     Mix tape rewrite variations physical veronica     Who veronica simultaneous screams of sounding bodies     Who sample simultaneous nude witches and I witch who, eyes gaze vibrating galaxy of suns, moons, and planets     Not rewrite but write Asia among rhizomes antelope beetles (Asia anise swallowtail butterfly     Asia american lady butterfly     Asia american idia)

Our business is not to reason and compare – but to create and burn – and make poetry, each in his own way – whatever way that is

Not rewrite it but write it     I must create a system or be enslaved by another     I will not reason and compare: my business is to create     Not to rewrite but write it     I write repeat myth and refrain gospel

I repeat body desert downtown music naked and I sin loft jazz punk no wave

Woman insatiable blots out my sin / she devours sin eater over omens my body occulted     I transmutate my misogyny into an Andy Warhol factory assembly line     I transmute my misogyny into antinomian alkahest / I hurry into godly body horror     I haste blood paste taste holy body horror     Obsessed!  Prey to creatures from the grave… Creatures who kill again and again!  TOMB OF TORTURE)     Art is the alchemical process of transformation which takes place in the furnace of the heart and mind   transform into art    transcendent use of life   utilize self

Write not write but write     Write time fuck syntax sterling sterling  sterling lobster light laboratory silver     Time involuntarily infects other time simultaneous streams of sounding bodies     I sound ben body asia rhizome jack the ripper rains

I feel there’s a great disconnect in how I feel as a friend and how you perceive me as a friend, I say to Asia.  I feel if I have a crisis or feel depression, I’m failing you as a person and as a result failing you as a friend, but it seems you perceive it differently, I say.  I see a friend who isn’t having a good time, says Asia.  You asked me how I can care for you unconditionally and what I originally said is still true, but I want to add that before you a a prophet or a writer you are a fucking human being.  A human being with a funky brain and sometimes we humans aren’t OK.  And that's OK.  When that happens we need patience and kindness, says Asia.

Before I write or prophesy, I stretto son of man     I stretch hex heart alchemies heats humans and I human always-already creative     I write and prophesy benjamin son of man simultaneous son of man cut kairos / Asia rhizome woman fucked up time     I prophesy human before god and without god immediate human (We have to live in the world even if there was no God, writes Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and this is just what we do recognize before God. […]  God would have us know that we must live as men who manage to live our lives without him.  The God who is with us is the God who forsakes us…)     I recognize without god and I live without god son of man and child of humanity: immediately I prophesy woman wilderness

I write Asia afflicted dagger moth desert diablo and I prophesy witch torso Christina naked     Not to rewrite it but I write it human prophecy and wild prophecy

Non-linearity: in the round.  Time is a ring of fire, a circle not a line.  Movement of any direction.  I wall directions at once / multidirectional wilderness

Prophesy human plunderphonics karst pornographies karst son of man     Prophesy nude witch watercolour warnings underneath

It astonishes me when the world begs and prays for places they have heard about but have not seen with their own eyes… Maybe they are praying for a place that is worst of all!

I pray something else      I pray something else something different immediate human     I pray both directions at once: continuous Christianities and discontinuous Christianities     I pray cut in desert dripping dream or diamond sea (time takes its crazy toll mirror falling off the wall you better look out for the looking glass girl ‘cause she’s gonna take you for a fall)     I pray cut into desert discontinuous deliriant / flesh discrete defoliate disappear frenzy     Cut into desert time crystal Robin dies at dawn     I pray one of three studies for a crucifixion and crucifixions cut book cloth bitches brew kairos / brew bess book bricoleur     Brew bess bitter wormwood bricolage     Bricoleur woman insatiable holy spirits sphinx flask     Sphinx flux flask both directions at once     At once ouroboros boron nitride impossible stars     Dress of dream gong: night desert deserted night

Talk to me naked     Never trust a writer that doesn't burn

I burn body busy desert dizzy up the girl     I burn storm surge scalpel slash insects insect asia ambidextrous leg segments

I burn repetition     I burn ben bodies naked witch irregular repetition     I burn one hundred dollar bank note repetition (my business is not to reason or compare but to create)     I create creature feature fat face space     I create crop circle kreb cycle burning spirals     Burn spiral spike spool sinister side cauldron

Talk to me naked (THE YOUNG NURSES   Fear, lust, thirsty passions – an explosive story of life in a big-city hospital)     Talk to me naked (The compelling story of a girl who couldn’t say no I AM A NYMPHO)     Talk to me naked (She knew an affair with her patient would be good therapy for them both!  SEX STARVED   The strange story of a beautiful, love hungry woman doctor)

Orange over oboe ossias why elephants (elephants interrupt my brain immediate boils constantly elephants)     orange open elephant graveyard and ogres congregate     Ogres orange congregate graveyard churchyard wyrd     I bury ootid otters oiled omelets (I scramble cosmic egg feminine floating eyes and floating eggs)

I walk watercolour underneath ugly minor becomes the Archangel Michael     Ursa major sails the boat Saint Peter     The congregation Andromeda opens stone round the tomb of Christ

Stars strip water underneath mask beach birdwalk wheel cave mouth

Not rewrite it but write it

Talk to me naked     Never trust a writer that doesn’t burn

The Road To Excess Leads To The Palace Of Wisdom

The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom

The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom     The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom     Road rob rob ray ram ran road: road excess excesses     Road ray ray rask vision excess / rays rascal sexy redhead and the devil’s kiss     Ray saying sewing swing ray radian rabbit     Radius rabid rabbit Ray rush ray     Road circle spiral spill radiation: spill radio excess road runoff

The road to excess examine exceed experiment     Experiment immediate inside road rough rhythm: road rhythm symptom / let the rhythm hit’ em

What road rewrites road     Interest insects excess road rewrite road     What road: road word     Road word logos and legion / legion logia     I meet moth wing excess: excessive road experiment     I meerkat kat marimba free jazz excess or excessive force excessive writing

(excessive writing: I push the sounds around too much)

I push road ramp damp dawn runoff: run off over subterranean rain     Over rain road rampage: rain pour renegades of funk

I write excess earth free jazz jubilee or road orgiastic death n’ roll rain runover     Rain runover riot runoff

I write secret earth excess mass mess liturgical light: light ray rain road circular ruins door hinge     Write rain door hinge cellar door: cellar door dance desert languages     Language lean light rain rain rhythm: free rhythm free jazz earth experiment     Jazz experience jubilee experiment christ mass ouroboros     Christ mass chiaroscuro ouroboros obscure christmas light soft round monument     Mound monolith monument mountain mothlight excite     (mothlight excitebike body without organs) (mothlight monolith excess body organs orgasms)

Road unorder rain ornate ouroboros     Road observer rain ouroboros baroque behemoth

Road ratio rhizome rain rain multiples     Road multiples rain rain ruin body: body bock boulder black pigment pinetar     (These things occur to me not from the root up but rather from somewhere in the middle: it begins to grow only from their middle)

Middle road ratio midway word woman: woman middle arcade road cascades     The road to excess mine earth middle middle Krystal canopy     Krystal bridal canopy shekinah shakers middle rain sneakers     (rain sneak space supersoaker) (slower road rain middle multiples)

Wisdom tins minds word graffiti woman     Wisdom worships woman middle word word make     I make rain and road middle body excess     Word wisdom window rains through my body awake wake voice rain     Word wisdom wisdom window wake woman ben body bonfire     Word winnow wisdom threshing floor fire woman / ben body burn venom     Venom road vista vulcan woman vulcan vision: vision middle bodies     Venom vigor gods giallo     god giallo genital gore table of generations     god gore graphic porno excess (ORGY OF THE DEAD   Come… let me take you in my golden arms!  In gorgeous astravision and shocking sexicolor with Criswell and a bevy of beautiful girls!  For adults only!)

Road fun from rear rhizome no god neon     god giallo neon road bauble blown glass body     Blown glass giallo juggles body desert dragonfly     Road risk middle a dragonfly for each corpse     Dragonfly fire middle gorgon goblet     Dragonfly road round wing skin email scams     Grand guinol dragonfly neon wall hall flag physics     Physics physique scams skin oral torah     Oral Torah outside middle where subterranean (Book as assemble with the outside)

Outside dragonfly sum subterranean streetly strata     Strata middle street photography: gory hagiographies bloodstained shadow     Gory giallo hagiographies witch only blackness     Only blackness dragonfly in the folds of the flesh

Language Mesh Mercury Matrix

From simple melody to complicated textures to simplicity again and then back to the more dense, the more complex sounds

From here on simple sound from here on dense sounds     Densities intensities immediacies: densities uncertainties open other orange grove ouroboros     Orange groove ouroboros     Orange grove gallop giallo: giallo gruppen language mesh     Language mesh mysticisms: language mesh mutilations   language mesh massacres     Mosaic language mesh language maps / writings as medicines

I desire a more flexible and open language – open language languages enmeshed water matrices taryn tensors     Taryn tensors transformations / language mesh multiplicities monitor lizard languages     Iguana incarnation languages komodo dragon anchorite desert languages

I betray my own sense of chronological and cohesive time so the Book may transform as Book     Book transforms taryn tensors trailing point tetragrammaton languages     I talk to Ann Marie and I attempt to explain to her my new conception of time:  I have been obsessed with constructive a consecutive of sequential chronology but the Book demands a different kind of time: not a chronological beginning-middle-end time but times and time ruptured apophatic into kingdom     A suspended long time that contaminates other times     An apostolic and messianic time (time times half a time) that flows times differences and deconstructions     Book demands I betray and sacrifice my own sense of time – my linear sequential time – for a rhizomic nonlinear dynamic time or even a prophetic abyssal time     A prophetic time khora     Book transforms as Book / Taryn tensor tunnel time times half a time

Language mesh     Language mesh prima materia / igneous stars     Igneous stars igneous stone stirrup body stomas     My stomas starts interior eye spiked with stars     My eye intensifies erotic     My eye irradiates a Taryn eros: soap opera entropy

I often hesitate in my heresy / heresies     I feel it difficult to heretic – notice I use the term heretic and not apostate despite leaving Christianity and belonging to no religion – I still feel the residue of Yahweh and this infrared invisible outer darkness of Christianities     I’m not a practitioner of anything except the Blakean sense of making myth     I write myself into religious anarchy or anarchic mysticisms

(A Poet a Painter a Musician an Architect: the Man or Woman who is not one of these is not a Christian     You must have Fathers and Mothers and Houses and Lands if they stand in the way of Art)

(If any one comes to me without hating his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple     Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple)

I pick up the Cross of Judas Iscariot, a greater and more burdensome cross than Jesus’ cross     I pick up the Cross of Sabbatai Sevi, a greater and more burdensome cross than Jesus’ cross

(Jesus answered him and said to him, Come, that I may… [you, that]… , but you will go through a great deal of grief when you see the kingdom and its entire generation)

Language mesh marked one     Language mesh mercury matrix     Language mesh mammoth multiplicities     Multiple mastodon languages lamina limina (an appalling amalgam of carnage and carnality… THE FLESH AND BLOOD SHOW gruesome stained in color) (mercury amalgams   language attack mesh aleph   mesh apocalypse)

Language mesh mash my mutated body dead sea scrolls     Language mesh mutant body language leviathan / scroll chaoskamf     I roll scroll scarce or scatter mysticisms     Mystic minim rhythm rhythm sound gog and magog desiring-machine apocalypses     The body without organs is not God but the energy sweeps divine, an enchanted surface itself in the entire process of productions     I produce mesh language and not language

Date stolen:  April 29, 1934     Odometer miles added by Clyde: 2,500     Damage assessment: bullet holes and blood stains

Bullet holes and blood stains sounds like a song a metalcore band would write     I attempt to write something clever and poetic about bullet holes and blood stains

Language mesh bullet holes mud bodies     Bullet eye beast from the sea     Eye bullet eye beast from the earth interior eye erotic     Interior eye cosmic egg / bodies eggs bullet hole bellies     Bullet hole belly thousand year egg (paper mario thousand year door)     Eye time egg my time troubled tenor     I bullet hole tempest

I will write something clever and mythopoetic about bullet holes

Bullet hole bricoleur bisexuals     Bullet hole beach bisexual bitches   bitches brew black breath cauldron     Cauldron comic sections: cauldron conic comic cascade uncertain cities     Uncanny cities circus cyclic groups    Groups gruppen groupers ghosts: ghost fish and fish octopus     Octopus octagon heroin harpoon bone

I write bullet hole black hole     I write bullet hole black hole black hair (KILL NOW PAY LATER she had a glass in one hand, a champagne bottle in the other, and trouble splashes all over lovely lush body) (Her lush body language mesh emulsifiers like a rose among thorns, so its my beloved among maidens)

I write bullet hole black hole black hair hazards and happenings     I happen to encounter Taryn’s lush body hell hazards esoteric water channels     Hazard lazarus low laugh noise near name gnosis (so, Lazarus, how do you feel?  I like the light.  What was it like?  Which is better: death or life?  I was a little surprised… wasn’t that much difference) (I stab Lazarus / KILL NOW PAY LATER)

Taryn hazard lazarus lips low harsh noise   noise near name gnosis     Name now khora   cave mouth low lush   name gnosis gnosis      Gnostic bullet holes hell mythologies     Mythologies hell happen haze dark

Language mesh champagne aporias / champagne supernova / supernova goes pop     Champagne aporia champagne supernova supernova goes pop hyperpop hell     Language mesh middles marsh languages lush champagne   pretty lush I wish you a broken heart and a happy new year

Language mesh goose flesh language mesh goose flesh     Lush refreshed language mesh: mesh mill corpsegrinder     Prepare mill paper mill     Mesh mill salt as pepper shaker     Quaker reef sharks and quaker sand sharks

I listen to the song .44 Caliber Love Letter by Alexisonfire (This is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart) (The 1986 David Lynch film Blue Velvet influenced the lyrics of .44 caliber Love Letter:  I’ll have to send you a love letter!  Straight from my heart, fucker!  You know what a love letter is?  It’s a bullet from a fucking gun, fucker!)

The book writes love letters to Yahweh and scroll letters transmutes into silver bullets     Letter levitate pastoral letters lift shed ben adam pseudepigrapha     Straight fuck book letter syntax / earth epistle epistle pine needles erotic

Language mesh mere mesh     Mere mesh more bullets bullet ben adam

I did like a few lines, says Asia.  I should have wrote them down.

Did you mean to write “I will sin on it?” says Asia.  Ah darn it, I say.  Give me a sec… OK I fixed it.  I talked to Ann Marie on the phone.  How did your conversation with Ann Marie go?  Good.  I talked about some of our conversations about the Book.  She had a suggestion for you of sorts.  Oh?  What was her suggestions?  She herself said that she also had to set aside time for it and be focused state when reading it, and try not to understand everything but experience it like music or being in nature: it’s not entirely about understanding but about experiencing the limits of language pointing to something beyond.  That's fair, says Asia.  It’s hard not to feel like I should have grabbed onto a thought though sometimes… I did like a few lines.  I should have wrote them down.  You know, I was just thinking, that typo was very interesting.  I thought so too, I say.  At first I didn’t think it was a typo when you first mentioned it.  What did you find interesting about it?  You played around with the word sin earlier in the post, says Asia, and sin goes directly against the teachings on the religion we were talking about processing.  I think it could be cool to take bits of the recorded conversations and play around with the wording and weave it into the rest of the excerpt, says Asia.

It will take some time to process / Yeah I should just sin on it a bit

All religions, all laws, all books of old, if one reads them, it’s like turning your face backwards and examining words which have long gone extinct.  All this originates from the side of death.

Apostasy comes and the lawless one revealed     ben adam, lawless one, man of sin man of perdition     I sit in sin side sinister and side of woman     Woman wounds me antinomian word

Antialiased antinomianism (I try to rid myself of my thumb prints and taboos) (I modulate antinomian archegrammar)     I modulate antinomian .44 caliber love letter / this is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart   christened by her bullet stations of the cross

Antinomian mallet quartet / I sin sextet

Antinomian angles arc light animated lights / imaginary interior floodlights in Bonnie and Clyde’s Death Car     Interiorly illuminated bullet holes     Bullet holes and blood stains sketch the language mesh

I try to rid myself of my thumbprints and taboos (set your body ablaze: hollow words will burn and hollow men will burn)     My thumbprints and taboos sometimes slow the transformation of the Book (Book expressing Book: Book prophesying Book)     Book transforms to Book and Book maps Book even if I tried to actively stop such a process, but I desire a certain Book transmorgifier efficiency of optimization (I imagine in the future I eventually realize the struggling / wrestling / frustration proves integral to the process of letting Book be BOOK) (I try to rid myself of my thumbprints and taboos so I can explore and experiment beyond my stylistic and mental limitations)

BIZARRE STYLES the most electrifying footage ever filmed, with two of today’s top porno stars giving their wildest and weirdest performances ever!

Bizarre ben adam     Bizarre ben bullet holes and blood stains     Blood trace bark bodies     ben adam bodies oak ark ash often blood     Blood often blood my body bark breakers beakers pornographies     ben body bell bizarre pornographies     Pornographies aporia pornographies

Antinomian pornographies pornographic ben adam     ben adam blood antinomian anarchies

Ouroboros Boxes Leviathan

Never cease prophesying but prophesy holy ghost fire / radical holy ghost     Radical holy ghost radical weakness / woman weeping stations of the cross     These women do not abandon me in my self-flagellating and my self-crucifixion (I transform self-destruction into self-deconstruction)

Writing without ceasing and prophesy without ceasing     I do not pray but transform prayer into prophesy

I travel in a ship Jonah a fleeing serpent and a coiled serpent, and I sometimes escape Yahweh     I escape Yahweh to enter Yahweh my own body as the prophetic community     The prophetic guild of gods     Elisha and Elijah crosses rivers gilgal gods / gettsyburg should gehenna

I travel in a ship safety razor rhizomes     I travel taller tunnels Taryn and I refuse to go down with the ship bone shatters     Ship from bone precious stone killers call in a bathroom stall     Bathroom stall skull ship generous goo slut golgotha     A genuine golgotha holy ghost gasoline fires within fires wilderness women / women steer the skull ship

I travel in ship shutter shelter to repel ghosts but holy ghost infiltrates and infects incarnations: my incarnations illicit ink inked illegal numbers and illegal aliens     I travel ship slapstick syntax syntax splatterstick stem cell cloisters     Stem cell alchemy clues earth’s core corium axioms / strange cosmology    Strange cosmology and alien cosmology star ship shepherds     Star ship shepherds sirius (experiments both directions at once)

I travel ship nautilus shell hell leviathan / lavender light lake lampreys     Leviathan lavender light landscape sound scrapings     Landscape wound scrapings ouroboros scales hailstone numbers     Hailstone names magma molecules     Gods as ideal gases cooked platonic solids     Steamed triangles and broiled rectangles     Kinder cosmologies cinder cosmologies     Cosmologies khora / corrupt khora stations of the cross

An Orphite ouroboros open optics and ouroboros excises eyes needle eyelet abyss     Eyelet inlet abyss my eye aberration     My eye Book aberration bog body baphomet / baphomet blue-footed boobies     Blue-footed boobies gamma-ray bursts of bebop (we’re going to stretch on this one man… Don’t worry about no time limit and shit.  Just play your saxophone) (I play my tenor saxophone and I stretch syntax-semantics expanding interstellar space)

Leviathan cosmologies chaos serpents ship sea ouroboros     Ship-wreck rhizome writing rent open ouroboros     I oblige the orphites and sail stone primordial waters     Water woman duo exchange     Duo exchange deserts dream is destiny     I write the dream and I dream the writing     I dream dress desert bomb black and skull owl had nothing but a skull, no legs but wings     Her wings me they fly primordial waters sea-serpent prophecy     Celestial primordial water forms the outermost circle of the world of creation, in accessible to the experience of the senses, and shuts it off from the divine world of love and light

Love light leviathan lead led zeppelin library

I talk to my former Oblate Mentor (or she remains my Oblate Mentor if I ever decide to return to Camaldolese Benedictine spirituality) Lorienne:


I had an interesting thought last week, I say.  May I share it with you?  Please!  My latest is that we contain the sheep and goats – they aren’t actually separate people, she says.  (I share a conversation – or just a monologue of thoughts – that I shared with Asia on 05/14/2023 10:37 AM):

I don’t think I believe in a literal Yahweh anymore.  I believe in you and me.  In Christina and Krystal and Taryn.  In the anarchic communities of the holy spirit in all.  I believe in the Book and the prophesy I write.  I believe in me and you as best friends, growing, as prophets, magicians, and creators.  I believe we will change the world through art.  That’s what I believe in instead of Yahweh.

(The end of my monologue with Asia Rain… I will copy it again sometime when writing and archiving our conversations)

I think my thoughts have changed since a few days ago too! I say.  I wrote yesterday I pick up my cross and follow the woman.  I follow her where the Christianity cannot go.  Yahweh must become a eunuch for the sake of the Kingdom.  Androgynous and nonbinary and intersex all at once perhaps.  The Holy Spirit si the community immanent here.  I devote myself to the Kingdom rather than (a) god.  An anarchic nonhierarchical model where all Christ in Christ.  No gods no masters but all gods.  Always in flux though.  He not busy being born is busy dying and all that.  Absolute, says Lorienne.  To me this is orthodoxy, she says.  It’s important for me to name my names heresies and heterodoxies though, I say.  Same reason hell and heaven are different places, so you can write the marriage of heaven and hell (I quote at length from William Blake’s The Marriage of Heaven and Hell).  I am way less dualistic, says Lorienne.  God can be hell and evil can be heavy sometimes, she says.  For Blake, hell is the energetic and the revelation that heaven lacks, I say.  Heaven is rigidity and legalism.  Hell is art and creativity.  The imagination must infect the churches of heaven.  Jesus Christ followed not law but intuition and imagination for Blake… CG Jung wrote, he who journeys to hell also becomes hell… Christ journeys to hell to give birth to his antichrist… The Christ and AntiChrist are siblings, I think.  If so, it’s interesting the day star used to describe Jesus in apocalyptic passages, the same derivation for Lucifer, I say.


(Conversations with others helps me to develop my prophetic ideas: a human form of rubber duck debugging     I monologue and the other receives and their vessel visits me in visions     I think Philip K. Dick had a similar idea about the Christ and AntiChrist as siblings     I need to listen more: receive more: eat more light her Leviathan)

Rashi’s commentary on Genesis 1:21 repeats the tradition: THE… SEA MONSTERS     The great fish that are in the sea and in the words of the Assadah, this refers to the Leviathan and its mate, for He created them male and female and salted her away for the righteous in the future, for if they would propagate, the world could not exist because of them

Secret salt and the secret of salt: But Lot’s wife turned back, and she was turned into a pillar of salt     Secret salt and the secret of salt: You are the salt of the earth, but if the slat loses its taste with what can it be seasoned?  Remember Lot’s wife who had become salt and a great cross than the Son of Man’s crucifixion     Secret salt and the secret of salt: the female (serpent salt and salt levitation) becomes salt for future Christ and future Yahweh, for her salt heals and preserves to completeness / complete Tabernacle and Taryn complete Tower of Babel

Tower of Babel on the Beach     On the beach vampire blues ambulance I’m the ocean     Tower of Babel Book stag beetles and hercules beetles (beetles in stag films   flesh aeropress foam)     Tower of Babel I’m an aerostar I’m a cutlass supreme salt spirit leviathan     I do not slay levitation but I resurrect her light lamb and light lamp lion and her milk sustains me as manna in mirror mercury madness     Her skin shelters silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair     Her skin shines slate shimmer slimmer serpent and she covers the tent for banquet     She covers cross the cross crustacean canon coral cross / Tent of Congregation

Tower of Babel Tent of Congregation Leviathan

Tower Babel Tent Congregation coagulates cross leviathans     Leviathan leviathans light lectionary daily gospel grain gods     Daily gospel grain gods grindcore fertility-and-harvest replenishing leviathan

Tower of Babel Tent of Meeting leviathans (May it be your will, Lord Our God, and god of our forefathers, that just as I have I have fulfilled and dwelt in this sukkah, so I may merit in the coming year to dwell in the sukkah of the skin of leviathan.  Next year in Jerusalem)

Tower of Babel festival of sukkot secret salt leviathan and I sift salt secret primes and the product of large prime numbers sea urchins     Underground cave urchin termite infested umbilical cords     Umbilical cords corpus christi carols

Overripe ouroboros rot rhizome / home haunted secret salt pus corpuscles     Pus corpuscles black plague painting ouroboros pinatas

Optics erotic ouroboros     Erotic optic ombre ouroboros blonde beach Taryn   bombay beach Taryn ouroboros     Beach bleach bare blouse ouroboros Taryn bikini (optical devices like concave mirrors and camera obscura apostolic imbeciles)     Camera obscura often occult rosicrucian leviathan     rosicrucian leviathan rosy cross ouroboros (illustration of the camera obscura principle of James Ayscough’s a short account of the eye and nature of vision)     Ouroboros camera obscura observes monocle golems gestate golems clay sculpt experiences     Golems gestate golems grain silo camera obscura xenomorphs

I conduct experiments outside the laboratory / leviathan     I conduct experiments the laboratory outside / ouroboros

I write in dark     I write developing dark room ravens and she cuts serpent sinister stories     Stones stage an image of the New Royal Palace at Prague Castle projected onto an attic wall by a hole in the tile roofing


(I feel stalled     When I feel stalled and dumb, I copy Asia conversations)     Conversations With Asia Rain 04/29/2020 3:31 AM

Did the walk help at all, I say.  Yeah it did.  I called my grandma and talked to her while I walked.  At one point I ended up telling her why I moved out of my sister’s house (this grandma isn’t religious) and she asked, you started having a change in beliefs, didn’t you?  I said yes and she said, I always knew you would.  She said that she always knew I was more open minded.  How recent has your religious change been? I say.  Within a year or so.  Maybe a year and a half.  My political shifts have shifted too.  What were your political beliefs before?  I went from republican to libertarian and then for a couple years I just floated in political purgatory but I didn’t exactly disagree with my family members, then I went to the left at breakneck speeds.  I think there were a lot of beliefs that I had that ended aligning with the left and anarchism and I just didn’t know it at the time.  I was already vegan and already interested in certain acts of social justice, and my version of Christianity meant hoping in a world free of poverty and war, says Asia.


I too transform even as I write dark and I write chaotic dark     Chaotic dark first blossom of spring     Chaotic dark deer details first dream of the high-tension line stepdown transformer     Chaotic dark dew dust dusk second dream of the high-tension line stepdown transformer

I transform between before dark a darker transformation / But he often withdraws to lonely places and prays     But he often withdraws to the wilderness for prayer     But he often withdraws to desolate plays and places     Yet he frequently withdraws into the wilderness praying     But often himself slips away to the wilderness and prays     He withdrawals himself in the desert prayers

I desire dark transformation and desolate transformation     Transformation twine thin twisted leviathan and I too serpent secret desolate and desert secret stars     Secret stars from the canyon to the stars silver signal switches     Silver swim signal switches / magpie marsupials tent of meeting     magpie meat pie marsupials holy menses cleanses tent of meeting (everything machines: celestial machines, the stars and rainbow in the skies, alpine machines – all of them connected to my desert body) (All of them connected to my Book Body)

Bodies banquet transformations: leviathan transformation and ouroboros transformations no syntax     No syntax new syntax no semantics art ark apophatic     Apophatic body fat fly transformations

Stars and stars stella by starlight     Stars stutter stilt stars sarah sine waves star watercolours and washes     Star scorpion spiders red-violet red-orange rose dark-red-carmine scarlet-red / all possible varieties of red     Star red rays rods interstellar space and interstellar call / canyon coulomb

(I materialize solar bird songs and I music sirius bird songs     Bird song red babel river brook rhizome banks)

Transformer tritones tiptoe turtles sustaining instruments of like timbre in multiples of four

Transformer triotones tri-axium systems triangles synchronized circles synchronized

Sometimes The Fire Fails: I Again Light The Fire

content warning: body horror and horror/violence imagery


Enjoy the practice     Maintain eye contact     Keep in close contact with the audience     Do not obsess over details     Set a quiet mood prior to the story     Utilize the energy of the audience     Maintain the campfire     Forgo scare tactics – these distance from the story     Use different vocal inflections     Start sessions with believable tales to build credibility

Not much difference between storytelling and prophesying     Not much difference between campfire, bonefire, and prophesying     / I prophesy bone flute fire storytelling in my marrow narrative hands knuckeballs     I do not maintain the campfire but I maintain the campfire prophesying / Yahweh thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived: thou art strong than I and has prevailed… (Deceived: here with the connotation enticed, seduced, allured…  And stronger than I: elsewhere the Hebrew has the meaning force, sexually Deut. 22:25; 2 Sam 13:11-14)     Yahweh seduces me storytelling, an amateur allure body horror / painful party transformation     Painful party hat noisemaker transformation and prophecy cavorts in my body cancerous tumors, god gangrene and bridal chamber botulin toxin     My body decays and drops off limbs prophetic diabetic neuropathy or leprosy     Prophecy pretends as a passenger virus but then victors blister violence, prophetic plague I throw myself into campfire to pop my boils pus pours from my orifices     Pus pours from my orifices orphic mysteries no material but serpent mother

I do not maintain the campfire but my open bones buttresses bough fire     My bone obsessed oil fire olives and I gestate gethsemane rhythm     I genus genesis gethsemane rhythm rhythm weave     Rhythm weave rhythm watcher vraylar woman     Rhythm weave rhythm wave ocean oil bone fire and I obsesses Woman (Asia and I discuss the short story The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, and Asia praises it as an accurate portrayal of the power difference between men and women, and how as a petite small woman, how often she’s aware of that difference…     I think about my use of power in my relationship [section cut at request of a friend]

I obsess the details of woman and as a form of treatment, the husband forbids the unnamed woman from working or writing and encourages her to eat well and get plenty of air so that she can recuperate from what he calls a temporary nervous depression – a slight hysterical tendency – a common diagnosis in women at the time

I maintain not my misogyny but the campfire

A new analysis of burned antelope bones from caves in Swartkrans, South Africa confirms that Australopithecus robustus and/or Homo erectus built campfires roughly 1.6 million years ago

Not false fire but flash fire     Flash fire flatted fifth faith (I have faith I will fine-tune the rhythms) (I have faith I fine-tune rhythm although by the time I know and perfect the rhythm, I will experiment and explore other rhythm other faced fire I haven’t yet explored and learned)     Not false fire but fresh fire, fire freak fleet and fleet freak, and I cleanse my torso in fire     I torch my torso floor fire and floor also opens frame story horror     I fly horror fire     I fly-by-wire fire horror horror fire / middle rhythm     Middle rhythm missile rhythm I hate it when my cannibal neighbor tosses human remains in my yard     Middle rhythm I burn human remains

Sometimes the fire fails: I again light the fire     I light the fire letters, the great image interwoven branches filled with men and set alight, and the men rise smoke-steam sea flames, and they condensate desert light     I again light first fire unfathomable last fire and my storytelling fireworks woman from the stone-meet-flame     Sometimes the flame consumes me and sometimes I consume the flame, but always prophecy emerges     Always the narrative emerges, human horror and god horror campfire stories

Fire fails but Yahweh directs me to light the fire: flame flows through my fingers     Flame flows flares through my fingers and my fingers flip physics fidgets woman and wormholes

I want new noise: I want new noise and write new noise a world lit only by fire     I listen to Godflesh’s A World Only Lit By Fir and I write new noise new dark ages / I light the fire     I light the texture fire and tincture fire, a liquid intertextuality and their intersectional-into-union opens scripture     I always-already write Scripture On Fire and I burn Scripture Complete     I complete scripture scripture complete carbon and smoke ascends holy spirit     You have seduced me Yahweh, and I let myself seduced: you too strong for me prevails… I say I will not mention him, I will no longer speak his name, but then the fire burns my heart heartfire hellfire fire fur the holy ghost     The fire burns imprisoned in my bones gun blue black iron prison

I ballpoint burned antelope bones and their charfire covers cave walls     Its charfire compacts a covenant, black paintings foreshadowing Ark of the Covenant, the Womb of Mary Mother of God, and the treasure chest feminine Field Book Labyrinth     Lent Fire fuses antelope bone bent bone library     I ballpoint burned antelope bones and I write book black paintings, pigment pulses proto-writing     Pure sound symbol

I have so much to do, so much to write, and I get overwhelmed by sheer possibility, the rhizome any-direction – where do I start?  Doesn't matter: write what calls you, in any order, because everything follows everything and everything connects everything

I should watch cannibal films: Cannibal Holocaust, Cannibal Ferox, Mountain of the Cannibal God     A strangely humorous cannibalism / human, an absurd human hell digesting Book Bone Flesh Fire     Ash aneurysm area x apophatic…

Fuck I can’t write cohere warble word salad     Start over start again start MIDDLE

I listen to Why Can’t I Be Snowing by Camping In Alaska and the song speaks that young adult ennui and anomie except I’m 38 and I can’t grow up…     The song sings fuck this fuck everything no one even cares oh how I wish that they would care I hope that I die so some people might listen to the songs I write or wrote I hope that I die I hope that I die

I don’t die but the fire consumes me     Fire burns bone benjamin bonfire: I copy the bone to paper     I sear the bone ash ask axe amityville horror but I write not hoaxes only bone vision     bone bondage bondage bone backwards suspension vision     Not a copy but a corpse transferred directly to overhead transparencies     I copy corpses too     I copy corpses confession circumfessions and corpses crystalling Taryn Terrakishexahedron and Taryn Tellurian Turpentine copper patina

I secretly cannibalize the corpse     I clandestinely cannibalize ritual corpse candle     Campfire litway and here I am stuck in the middle with you     Christian, here I am stuck in the middle with you and the blonde Christina tortures tangentfire and torsionfire twisted gut     Listen kid, I’m not going to bullshit you, all right, I don’t give a good fuck what you know, or don't know but I’m going to torture you regardless…     Veronica violence apophatic windshields     Veronica violence apophatic ash windshields     Shielded stained glass

I should watch cannibal films gore prom gown violence     Cannibal films cannibal genre cannibal boom witch broom benjamin     I should watch Cannibal Holocaust, Cannibal Ferox, or Mountain of the Cannibal God various forms of shocking realistic graphic violence including torture rape genuine cruelty to animals     An animal eats me whole     An animal eats me halves and my eyes fly gazing at my body chewed backwards (a stabbing nightmare becomes a living terror!  EYEBALL a blinding vision of horror)     An animal eats the electroacoustic improvisation partitions and Christina strings my skeleton with its own intestines a grotesque harp parody     My skeleton stringed gut gargoyles rainfall god and waterfall woman cleans my skull black beetles / bastard birth

I find cannibalism strangely human and human haunted / human body extruded extrudes extends carnal comedy (carnival and circus) (Ferris Wheel and Grotesque)     I write grotesque gears of war no home but pastiche parody party     I party empty screen skeleton scanners / x-ray Sun Ra projected into futures     I write god grotesque body black blood paintings and American Football plays Home Is Where The Haunt Is     

A theme of Ark Hive seems to be struggling with a sense of place, says Asia, and that really resonates with me.  The concept of home used to be a tough one for me.  How so?  I moved a lot as a kid.  When we moved to Georgia it felt like an in-between place, a waiting place, and it felt that way for over ten years.  I kept telling people I was from Louisiana.  When I finally moved back I learned quickly that the lonely out of place feeling followed me and in fact got worse.  How do you feel now?  Do you feel you have a place you belong?  Yes, the feeling had little to do with place and a lot to do with my own feelings about myself, says Asia.

An aside, I tell Asia.  I’m writing a vision.  I had a vision of the woman with the torah scroll.  It transformed into my Book.  She is writing the Book with my Body.  My Book is Torah and Nag Hammadi.  It is Zohar and PKD’s Exegesis – she writes it.  Also there’s a lot of sexual weirdness going on in the vision, I say.

I feel stuck so I draw a card from the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot deck: Three of Swords     A card of mourning and grief     

I grieve what do I grieve – I grieve God, a death of God and almost-death of God and God ghost haunted haunted house haunted hearse true holy ghosts     Slavoj Zizek writes in How To Read Lacan that the formula “If God doesn’t exist, everything is permitted” really means the more one identifies as an atheist, the more the unconscious ungulates in prohibitions that sabotage one’s pleasures     Zizek goes on to write:  If God exists, then everything is permissible… For him God fully exists, he perceives himself as His instrument, which is why he can do whatever he wants: his acts are redeemed in advance, since they express the divine will…

Sabbatai Sevi performs the enigmatic and misinterpreted Redemption Through Sin and Holiness In Sin: Blessed are though, Lord Our God, King of the Universe, who makes the forbidden things permissible

William Blake writes of Jesus Christ in The Everlasting Gospel:  He mocked the Sabbath and he mocked the Sabbath’s God and he unlocked evil spirits from their shrines and turned Fisherman to Divines…     William Blake writes in the Marriage of Heaven and Hell:  If Jesus is the greatest man, you ought to love him to the greatest degree; not hear how he has given sanction to the law of the ten commandments:  did he not mock the Sabbath, and so mock the Sabbath’s God?  Murder those who were murdered because of them?  Turn away the law from the woman taken in adultery?… I tell you no virtue can exist without breaking these commandments; Jesus was all virtue and acted from impulse, not from rules…

I approach the antinomian anarchy of God haunted death-of-God and God ghosts death-of-God     I approach apocalypse, antinomian anarchy and animism, and the Yahweh-Between and Yahweh-Purgatory rectors heaven and hell, sky and underworld

I grieve God     I grieve God grave God     I grieve God grave God gloves four-player gauntlets     I grieve God bringing in the sheaves and threshold plays tic-tac-toe Ruth uncovering Boaz’s feet / flesh / campfire

Three of Swords new noise     Noise shores through my flared nostrils     Noise narrow nitrogen and I near the sword narwhal tusk transformed unicorn horn     I lift my cup and I lift my horn Yahweh holler call horror haunted auction houses     I money launder mothlight laboratory distortion

Original language always-already exists in translation     I want the Loch Ness monster to exist     I want all river and lake monster to exist    I want all cryptids to exist     My life would feel more interesting and exciting with cryptids around     Green Spring Heeled Jack during a morning walk     Wait in line at the Taco Bell with the Dover Demon     Shoot the shit with the Loveland Frog     And if he left off dreaming you… I dream monsters     I dream malak messenger monstrosities and terror tar theophanies     I dream machines moloch and I pass prophecy the rough the aims of the fire     I dream machine lake labrador and lighthouse leaks loch ness animatronics     I animate animatronics animism, Nessie lurking in Loch Ness

Lake elongates     Lake elongates liberated dissonance and lake skates merry melodies     Lake elongates lawnmower slip-and-slide gore and lake skirmishes silly symphonies

Folios 9v and 10r from the manuscript "Raqāʾiq al-ḥaqāʾiq fī ḥisāb ad-daraj wa-d-daqāʾiq", from the Bibliothèque nationale de France, showing lattice multiplications with old Arab numerals     I fold folios three swords     I fold folios three swords to the flesh and flesh folds scream bloody gore     scream bloody gods     I fold folios Doctor Frankenstein transmutates onto Frankenstein's monster / the horror of homosexuals     Homosexual horror folios fragrant with Sodom and Gomorrah smoke     Yahweh fears the homosexual     Yahweh fears the overlap / bisexual and non-binary

I fail the fire and write forgeries or phenobarbital folios     I feel as fraudulent fossils, a piltdown man, pseudepigrapha glue gods     I fail false prophecy you must build additional pylons     I work from forgery to a steel forged folio, folio metal marshmallows     I fail the fire frog foothills flexible forests     I fail frogs flexible campfires and I forecast fire     Fire floods folios fast fourier transforms and I try the fire lauderdale – lauderdale drag dragsters no fun for the englishman      I write no fun fulcrum faerie refrigerators

Lake elongates redhead lighthouse     Lake linguistic lengthwise language luminous…     Lake linguistic lengthwise lengths loose luminous rhythm and I rhythm campfire language     I rhythm campfire lakes lots for Christ's clothes

As a child I adored The Hearse Song and its body horror appealed to my mind merged maddened machine knowledge cinema and I sing horror often:  did you ever think as the hearse rolls by that some of these days you must surely die?  They'll take you away in a big black hack; they’ll take you away but they wont’ bring you back… And your eyes drop out and your teeth fall in and the worms crawl over your mouth and chin; and the worms crawl out and the worms crawl in and your limbs drop off limb by limb…     I think ids have a natural love for the gross and grotesque and many playground songs I learned exploited these bodily caricatures and extruded exaggerations     extruded exudate     I adore playground songs Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks when she saw what she had done she gave her father forty-one     With children as the audience, the hearse song is a more gruesome song, but it is not rim… One scholar associated the chance of lyrics in change of function… During World War I, the song helped servicemen deal with the fear they felt.  These days it helps children confirm the reality of death, yet through satire and humor deny its reality for them…     The humor of decay     The humor of decay deconstruction devils and I need more humor all the time (of course I write much too serious: the prophetic and divine includes the flesh funny flesh futile flesh fog cloud proto-surreal

Lake elongates hearse horror young children yahweh     Lake elongates hearse her horror her children devoured dark Saturn-Yahweh / the humor and horror of decay     thirty-eight years old benjamin my body decays into Yahweh, hearse holy ghost and horror holy ghost / gallows     gallows humor     low-budget found footage films     A verse of this type from a twelfth-century poem, translated from the middle english: A vicious worm lives in my backbone; my eyes are dazed and very grim my guts rot, my hair is green, my teeth grin very grimly…     Worm Woman and Lake woman     Woman woman black wool black paintings and lake women weaving water     I dip in water dark     I dip in water decay     I dip in water dark drink diamond lattice diamond desert     I dip dark song not a stranger to decay but a jaguar familiar, a jaguar cat body Christina     Deer dance lake     Deer dawn lake latitude, drink dress ley lines mystical stonehenge

The alchemist’s journey requires her to pass through that outermost circle of the underworld – the serpent’s circle of saturn     Saturn, identical to Chronos, compels transient linear time, and in overcoming Saturn, one breaks this time and reverts to a Golden Age of Eternal Youth and divine benevolence, allowing one to merge into another (In christian mythology, a merging of linear time and messianic time, apostolic time with apocalyptic time, New Palm Tree Garden)

(Despite this conflating of Saturn and Chronos, many myths consider them separate and consider Chronus and Chronos separate… However the Roman philosopher Cicero also says that Cronus is indeed synonymous with Chronos since he maintained the course and cycles of seasons and the periods of time, and the name Saturn denoted Saturated-With-years, since he devours his sons, Time devouring ages gods gorges… I will accept this conflation and merging)

I perform metaphysical alchemy and spiritual alchemy (I’m too cowardly to try to distill, fix, and coagulate any mercury-sulfur-salt in my physical alembic)     I animal alchemy alphabet, underworld woman and underworld lake, and when I play Mario Kart, I imagine Lakitu accidentally drowning in a lake     I alphabet animal alchemy and bears box me in the underworld     Bears box Rumble in the Jungle and Thrilla in Manilla     Bears box coyote hypomania and monomania, and alchemy alloys amber Taryn Trickster

I pass through the outermost circle of the underworld and it resembles a lake (it’s not a lake; it’s an ocean)     I circle circles     I circle circles circular breathing and I rip fast arpeggios     I corner cascades fast arpeggios lake alchemy     I course corner circles circular breathing and I bereshit fast arpeggios lake alchemy primordial ocean     I do not separate my tenor saxophone from the transmutation of impossible elements, and I merge myth music mathematics

I Write This Mess

I write this mess and I don’t have any idea its direction and directions, and I feel the texts as torture / four horses attached to my limbs four different directions     Read the Book in its entirety also forms a kind of torture, a terrific hanatarash tarantism that traffics my mirrored monomania / my monorail monomania monotreme taryn monotheme (Dancing mania on a pilgrimage to the church at Sint-Jans-Molenbeek, a 1642 engraving by Hendrick Houdins after a 1564 drawing by Pieter Bruegel the Elder)     I fail spectacularly and I write spectacular failures     The Book eats my failures; it consumes my pretentiousness, my self-indulgence, my narcissism, my bipolar disorder and self-diagnosed borderline personality disorder:  Book doesn’t distinguish between my good writing and bad writing, between scripture and low-budget b-movie exploitation emesis – it loves all, eats all, digests all     Book only needs MATERIAL and TEXT

If I must write in fragments and aphorisms, then I write fragments and aphorisms

If I must write in endless paragraphs no spaces no punctuation then I will write endless paragraphs no spaces no punctuation

If I have to write in small insignificant failures and spectacular super nova failures, I write that too – what matters is writing the writing and creating the creating (Sol Lewitt in his famous letter to Eva Hesse can be summed up in the line:  JUST STOP AND DO…     He also writes:  Try to do some BAD work – the worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell – you are not responsible for the world – you are only responsible for your work – so DO IT)     I write bad work – everything self-aware, self-indulgent, pretentious metapostmodernist dead pool fourth wall nothing whatever – I do it – I laugh and think this bad work will be Asia’s favorite of hers because I finally write in explicit first-person, vulnerable, egotistical – she wants me to have a stronger ego and eliminate my self-doubts and preserving delusion     Stop, says Asia.  Stop calling yourself worthless.  You aren’t a false prophet and your friends aren’t lying to you, she says.     

Cropped curling bop lines, tri-tone heavy bop harmony, fast and spiky bop rhythm: benjamin bebop and rocksteady spikes spark stimulants, and my rhythm rests not sabbath but the apron apple orchard of messianic ages: Christ courting Sabbatai Sevi and their messianic drama and dissonance drive the Immanent Now into the Mysterious-Mystical-Transcendent (Paraclete     Parousia     AMIRAH’s second coming or Jacob Frank’s daughter Eva manifesting as the Shekinah or Mary Mother of God / feminine fog feminine     I write in the parody of writing the present: impossible present in the play of parousia and paraclete      I write in the parody of writing fully-present Yahweh, Yahweh impossibly experienced as the complete impact of the apophatic: apocalypse annihilation, radical negation of Yahweh but the Human Christ remains     The Parades of the Messiah and Kingdom: present presence always-already here-and-coming     Derrida writes my vision venir, the To come, of course contaminated by the present apophatic presence (present already future already present     Venir volumes vision, spacious space and space enspacing / Khora K2 and Khora Korakoram)

I have access to more notes but the logic of my playing still plunders jumbled jazz, still chaos coral chaos chymistry     I have access to more notes, more texts, but I still concern myself with noncontinuity (or other kinds of continuity: chaotic continuity, nonlinear continuity, dynamic continuity)     I concentrate on continuous camel bone concentric circles because continuity – connectivity – cohesiveness – comprehensibility – continues my weakness and in my weakness, the resting weakness of Yahweh

I continue noncontinuous the cicumfession of the cross     I cut carnival car crash many crayons the cross colors cool blue circles / desert seemingly discontinuous     dreaming truly discontinuous no continuum but the crosscut risk in cross

I had a dream that my family in Louisiana wouldn’t let me leave until I worshipped god, says Rainey.  Which god?  Their god, the Christian god.  I was hoping the dream didn’t specify – then you could pick your own god, I say.

You were in two layers of my dream last night.  I had a dream with you in it, and then I had a false awakening and I told the second Asia I had a dream about her.

I write in the Book Yahweh participates in the same processes I participate in     Something contaminates Yahweh or renders Yahweh incomplete, and that unknowable or mysterious something contaminates me and crops me incomplete too     By prophesying and writing not only do I perpetually move myself towards perfection, I move Yahweh towards perfection too     We both lack the divine feminine – not a new idea, not entirely     In mystical Judaism, the Shekinah or feminine aspect of Yahweh is in exile with Israel     By performing the commandments with the correct intention one helps unite the Shekinah back to the Godhead and make it whole again     The very act of creation fractures the Godhead…

Anyways I create my own God, my own Yahweh – or a version of Yahweh

I must create a system or be enslaved by another man’s… I will not reason and compare: my business to create (Los utters these words in William Blake’s Jerusalem The Emanation of the Giant Albion...     One of Blake’s strangest objects to Orthodox Christianity: it encouraged the suppression of natural desires and discourages earthly joy…     In the Vision of the Last Judgment, Blake writes:  Men are admitted to Heaven not because they have curbed and governed their passions or have no passions, but because they have cultivated their understandings…     The treasures of Heaven are not negations of passion but realities of intellect from which all the passions emanate uncurbed in their eternal glory…)

My business is to create / the very act of Creation fractures the Godhead and I immediately eiffel iron isolated in the desert     I immediately or impulsively inspect the desert and John the Dipper / Jack the Ripper prophesies:  I lay the axe at the root of the trees; every tree that does not bear fruit I cut down and throw into the fire      I immediately enter the desert and the spirit immediately drives me into the desert, and I remain there forty days tempted by Yahweh     I remain forty days and I mimic Jesus Christ envisioned or manifested in Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ and I draw the diamond circle of sand detuned dune desert     I’m not going to leave this circle, says Jesus, until you speak to me… No signs, no pain, just speak to me in human words… Whatever path you want, I’ll take… Love or the axe, or anything else… Now if you want me to stay here and die, I’ll do that too, but you have to tell me, says Christ in the desert and Christ of the desert..